NASHVILLE, TN - Maurice Jones-Drew of the Jacksonville Jaguars steals a special moment with Vince Young of the Tennessee Titans after a 30-13 loss to the Titans at LP Field on November 1, 2009 in Nashville, Tennessee before the pair went out for dessert crepes and blushed wine. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)Curtis Conway 124.25, Penguins From Hell 113.50
JR celebrated the death of his blog by losing to Ed in the week's highest-scoring game. Despite the loss, JR is still out in front with Ed up right behind him. /gay connotations
Conway was led by Steven Jackson, who finally found the end zone, only because he was facing the Lions. Roddy White and Miles Austin, potentially the waiver gem of the year, had nice weeks for Conway. LaDanian Tomlinson turned back the clocks, points-wise, but in reality, still kind of sucks as he averaged three yards per carry. Julius Peppers also went crazy.
The Penguins got nice weeks from Reggie Wayne, Pierre Thomas and Tim Hightower, but the roster also received a firestorm of suck from Donnie Avery, Anquan Boldin and Mike Bell. Boldin probably isn't healthy. Neither is the fact that I'm spending more than two minutes writing this recap.
The Gompers 102.75, Doc Brown's DeLorean 97.75
Am I supposed to know what a Gomper is? Why did Drew pick 2009 as the year he finally went with a movie reference from 1985?
Welty won almost entirely because Chris Johnson is awesome. Beyond that, there wasn't a whole lot to be excited about, as his kicker nearly had the second-highest output on his team. It's impressive, in some fashion, to get a win while only receiving 6.50 total points from three starting wide receivers. But yes, Chris Johnson is freaking awesome and that's enough sometimes.
Drew started a Cleveland Brown against an angry Chicago Bears defense, and that ended in a predictably sad fashion. However, with most of his roster on a bye week, his options were limited. Tough loss from Drew as it dropped him to ninth place, where he'll face a tough climb to try and make the playoffs.
Stanton for Heisman! 110.50, Ted Buckland Esq. 90.50
Tomke's team is quietly (though that's probably a stupid way to put it, since no one actually talks about the VUFSA publicly, loudly or frequently) putting together a nice run, and may have an outside shot at a playoff spot if the run can continue. It probably will, since he faces an Adrian Peterson-less Stafford Infection next week. Maurice Jones-Drew was awesome this week, as was Tony Romo.
Ted Buckland sits at 4-4; with Randy Moss and Hines Ward on bye, and Steve Slaton and Owen Daniels leaving their game in the 1st quarter, it probably wasn't going to be a good week. Yay for Michael Turner, or something.
ChamPeons 127.75, Stafford Infection 104
Running out of steam quickly here. ChamPeons finally got a good week from Matt Forte, even though on-field, real-life Matt Forte wasn't all that good. Robbie Gould!
Stem could be in trouble, sitting at 3-5 and facing a week where he'll be without his two starting running backs. On the plus side, John Carlson caught three passes for 36 yards. Aaron Rodgers also continued his ascent into top-5 fantasy quarterbackdom. Note: In my mind, there are like eight or nine top-5 fantasy quarterbacks, which is technically impossible but makes for easier writing.
Jared Allen Forever 114.75, MonkeyAssassinations 70
Even though Mark Sanchez is mostly terrible, he performed like a top-5 quarterback this week while filling in for another top-5 quarterback, Carson Palmer. Frank Gore had a nice week against a poor Colts rushing defense. Baron is 4-4 and no one cares.*
After a 2-0 start, Viano has lost six straight games. Vincent Jackson is a very good football player.
*I must throw Baron a bone here and note that Jared Allen is the highest-scoring defender in the VUFSA by a fairly large margin.
Anyway, that's all. This was a lot of fun.*
* No it wasn't.
