Weeks 11 and 12 in Review

As you probably noticed, there was not a recap for Week 11. I was traveling with my family down to North Carolina to visit my sister for Thanksgiving, and I did not get a chance to see any of the games (except for the 10 minutes of Green Bay-Tampa Bay that was on in the Atlanta airport). I also was unsure of how I could justify to everyone my sitting on the computer for a couple of hours while we were on vacation. Speaking of that, I hope you (and your respective families) had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. Anyway, he's a very brief recap of what happened in Week 11:

• Tomke got back to his winning ways with a victory over Baron. Tony Romo put up 28.75 for Dave, while Baron got 19.00 from Josh Freeman while Ben Roethlisberger was on bye.
• JR defeated a Drew Brees-less Champ squad. Mark Sanchez only managed 8.00 for Champ. Mr. Radcliffe got a combined 54.00 from Matt Ryan, Jordy Nelson and Michael Bush.
• My team upended Viano (who was adjusting to life without Matt Schaub. Vincent Jackson put up 18.00 for Andy, but that was offset by -2.00 from Willis McGahee. Nate Washington scored 21.50 for me, but Adrian Peterson and James Starks were both injured. I cursed the Fantasy Sports Gods, who seem to have no consideration at all for my feelings.
• Eli beat Ed by 60.75, and sadly, this was not the biggest blowout of the week. Jay Cutler scored 25.50 for Ed, and the rest of his team combined for 28.00. Eli had six guys put up at least 10.00.
• Drew more than doubled-up Welty. Ray Rice scored a billion points (actually 26.50) for Drew, and four others put up at least 11.50. Jerome Simpson (yay Coastal Carolina) led Welty's effort with 14.00.

So that does it for Week 11. Now on to Week 12. With just two weeks left in the regular season, nothing has yet been settled except that Ed has guaranteed himself the number one pick in the 2012 Draft. There is a three-way tie for the final two playoff spots (Drew, Eli and JR--with JR on the outside looking in right now due to his team having scored the least amount of points thus far). Two other teams (Tomke and Baron) are just one game out of the last playoff spot. Things are a little more clear at the top, as Champ is a game clear of the three-way tie in second, and I have a game lead on him. After weeks of (mostly) blowouts, this week featured a couple of match-ups decided by fewer than six points (both on the strengths of Monday Night Thunder). There were also two games that had spreads of more than 48 points.
Who is Ron Mexico 127.00-Jamie Looks Hot 124.00
JR had a 15.50-point lead going into Monday night's tilt, but Jimmy Graham had a big night with five catches for 84 yards and two scores (18.50) to rally Dave for the win. These two guys reached their respective point totals in much the same way. Tomke had seven guys score at least 10 points, with Graham's 18.50 leading the way. JR has six guys score at least nine points, with Matt Ryan's 29.75 the highest for Radcliffe. The difference between these two: Tomke got double-digits from each of his offensive starters except for two. JR, on the other hand, had four of his offensive guys tally less than 10. JR is 1-2 in his last three contests, while Dave has won two in a row. Playoff Implications: Due to the first tiebreaker being total points scored, JR (who's scored the sixth-most points in the league so far) falls to outside the playoff picture with this loss. Radcliffe is still tied for 3rd, so a win in Week 13 puts him right back in the playoffs. Tomke is one game back of a playoff slot, and he finishes with Viano and Ed, so an 8-6 record is very possible.
WIRM (6-6): Tomke survived just one touchdown and three interceptions from Matthew Stafford (15.00). Kevin Smith and Andre Johnson (look who's back from injury) combined for 7.50. Dave got seven non-QB touchdowns, including two each from Graham and BenJarvus Green-Ellis (16.00). Maurice Jones Drew did not score, but did finish with 166 yards of total offense (14.00). Roddy White (17.00) caught 10 passes for 120 yards and a touchdown. Even Antonio Gates (11.00) and Plaxico Burress (10.00) caught touchdowns. MVP: Graham. It isn't often that a team's top point-getter is a tight end. It's even less often when that happens and the team wins. Graham has become probably the top tight end in the NFL at the current time. LVP: Andre Johnson. I know Matt Leinart and TJ Yates are not very good and that this was his first game back from injury, he needs to do more than two catches for 22 yards (2.00).
JLH (7-5): Matt Ryan threw for 263 yards and three scores and 0 turnovers (29.75). Reggie Wayne (14.50) caught five passes for 122 yards and a score. Greg Jennings and Santonio Holmes combined for 22.00 and two touchdowns. Michael Bush continued to be a wrecking machine with 93 total yards and a score (15.50). If JR had started either Dustin Keller (17.00) in place of Brandon Pettigrew (3.50) or DeAngelo Williams (18.00) in place Jonathan Stewart (9.00), he would have won. MVP: Ryan. One of his best (if not his best) games of the season, and he accounted for almost 1/4 of JR's points. LVP: Jordy Nelson. A week after catching two TD passes, Nelson was kept out of the end zone and only had four catches for 26 yards (3.00).
Waiting for Goodell 84.75-Shellden Conch 77.75
A seven-point night from Darren Sproles on Monday night was enough to push Baron to the .500 mark. It wasn't as big a "Thundering" as in Tomke's case, but it was still a "Thundering" nonetheless. Welty had two players score more than Baron's best player (the myth of Laurent Robinson continues), but Baron had five guys score at least 10.00, while Welty only had two. Each guy had one player put up 0.00 (Mario Manningham for Baron and Ryan Torain for Welty). Each had a disappointing effort from a star running back (Frank Gore's 3.50 for Baron and Rashard Mendenhall's 6.50 for Welty). Playoff Implications: Baron is only a game out of the playoffs, but thanks to his low point total for the season, he will need Dave, Eli and Drew (or a combination of them) to drop their last two games. Welty has been eliminated from playoff contention but can finish as high as sixth if things shake out his way.
WFG (6-6): Five guys basically led Baron to victory. Ben Roethlisberger, Percy Harvin, Arian Foster, Rob Gronkowski and Stevie Johnson combined for 62.75. Harvin (15.00) caught eight passes for 95 yards and a score. Foster had 89 total yards and a touchdown (13.50). Gronkowski (10.00) had 59 receiving yards and a score. He is rapidly becoming one of the best tight ends in the game. And he dates porn stars, so that's cool too I guess. Johnson caught eight passes for 75 yards and a score (13.00). If I worked at Yahoo, I would have given him an extra half-point for the super-cool touchdown celebration. I'm in favor of anyone who mocks Plaxico Burress. MVP: Harvin. One of his best games of the season could not have come at a better time. LVP: Baron. Manningham didn't end up playing, and because he's carrying two kickers, he didn't have a chance to pick up someone to replace Manningham. I put that on Baron.
SC (4-8): The Legend of Laurent Robinson continued as he caught seven passes for 79 yards and two touchdowns (19.00). Andy Dalton had 293 total yards and a touchdown (15.25). Welty swapped Jacksons with Eli, trading Steven for Fred. Ryan Torain (0.00) lost his starting job to Roy Helu. Robinson was the only non-QB to find the end zone. If he had replaced any of his receivers (except Robinson) with Johnny Knox (15.00), he would have won. MVP: Robinson. This probably sounds ridiculous, but there's a chance that he has worked his way into keeper status. LVP: Torain. What started out as a promising year has turned into a disappointing one as the rookie Helu got most of the carries and Torain wasn't even an afterthought.
Phil Powell Rules 119.50-Bobby Engram 96.00
The Fighting Phil Powells remained in sole possession of first place thanks mostly to the aforementioned Roy Helu. With Adrian Peterson, James Starks and Peyton Hillis all on the bench, Helu's big day (21.00) kept this team afloat. Aaron Rodgers was finally ordinary (in that he didn't surpass his projected point total) and Calvin Johnson caught a meaningless touchdown in the final seconds. Ed got a combined 42.00 from Beanie Wells and Chris Johnson (both of whom he offered to me in exchange for AP). Philip Rivers wasn't awful but continued to disappoint. Playoff Implications: PPR has not officially clinched a playoff spot but does remain in the top spot and can clinch a spot with a win this week (or losses by Eli and JR--I know Drew also fits in here, but since I'm playing him I get the win if he loses). Ed has won the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes, but his team has been much better the past few weeks.
PPR (9-3): You know you have been spoiled when you get 23.50 (307 yards passing and two scores) from Rodgers and consider it a disappointment. Helu showed why he should be the starting back in Washington with 162 total yards and a touchdown (21.50). Megatron and Brandon Lloyd (21.50 combined) each caught touchdown passes. Terrell Suggs (13.50) registered three sacks and forced a fumble. MVP: Helu. With AP, Hillis and Starks all benched, his performance was the difference in this match-up. LVP: Nate Washington. A week (or two I can't remember exactly) after catching two touchdowns, he was limited to one catch for 12 yards (1.00).
BE (1-11): No turnovers for Rivers (a first) but only 188 yards passing and one touchdown (13.75). Beanie Wells (f--- Ohio) had perhaps the best game of his career with 228 yards and a touchdown (25.50). Chris Johnson did not reach the end zone (16.50), but he did finish with 193 yards of total offense. Gresham had 68 receiving yards and a score (11.50). If Ed had gotten some more production from his receivers (Mike Thomas, Devin Hester and Nate Burleson combined for 5.50), he might have won. MVP: Wells. He would have put up even more if had not fumbled. That's about the only complaint with his performance. That, and the fact that he went to the most god-forsaken institution this side of ORU. LVP: Hester. This would have worked out if he had returned a kick for a score, but he didn't, and when he doesn't, he tends to be a liability on the roster (0.00).
Pantry Cereals 151.25-Dexter McClusterfunk 102.50
When Drew's team is bad, it's pretty bad (see Ed's only victory of the year), and when it's good, it's really, really good. Drew had four players score at least 19.00 and six score at least 11.00. After struggling the last few weeks, the Tom Brady-Wes Welker connection got going again (54.00 combined). To tell you what kind of day it was for Drew, Sebastian Janikowski (19.00) scored more points than all but one of Eli's players. For Eli, Cam Newton did what Cam Newton does (20.00), and Marshawn Lynch continued his reign of terror against the NFC West (18.50). Newly acquired Steven Jackson didn't do much (7.50). Playoff Implications: The win puts PC back in the playoffs, and with a 100-point advantage over Eli, he is slotted solidly into the third seed. If he holds on and makes the playoffs, he will have earned it, as his final two games have him facing the top two teams in the league. Eli is in as the fourth seed (due to a 40-point lead over JR), and his road is a little easier as he faces Welty before finishing with the Fighting Phil Powells.
PC (7-5): Brady even ran a little bit this week, finishing with 389 total yards and three scores (33.00). It certainly helps when two of those touchdown passes go to Wes Welker (21.00), who finished with eight catches for 115 yards. Cedric Benson had 130 total yards and a score (19.00). Janikowski went all Rob Bironas on the Bears and kicked six field goals. Lance Moore caught two touchdowns (16.00). Even Toby Gerhart got in on the act with 63 total yards and a score (11.00). MVP: Brady. I'm already cursing the Fates that I have to face Drew when Brady and Welker are going up against the hapless Colts. LVP: Torrey Smith. The rookie sensation only had two grabs for 23 yards (2.00), for Drew's worst offensive performance of Week 12.
DMC (7-5): Eli only had two guys put up double-figure totals. That does not bode well when your opponent has six such performances. Newton had 261 yards but only one touchdown. Lynch finished with 131 total yards and scored a touchdown for the seventh straight game. Reggie Bush had 96 total yards (8.50), and Hakeem Nicks caught seven passes for 87 yards (7.50). MVP: Lynch. Even after his highlight run against the Saints in the playoffs last year, he was an afterthought entering this year. He has been very, very solid. LVP: Dez Bryant. He managed just three catches for 35 yards (2.50) and took a back seat to the Laurent Robinson Experience.
ChamPeons 142.25-Let My Monkeys Go 81.00
This was the biggest "Thundering" of the week. Champ entered the final game trailing by 5.00. His three guys on Monday night (Drew Brees, Victor Cruz and Marques Colston) combined for 71.00. Drew Brees went off for another big night (43.00). Cruz scored 23.50, while Colston (4.50) was not much of a factor. Three other guys (DeMarco Murray, Brandon Marshall and LeSean McCoy) scored at least 12.00, but it begins and ends with Brees and Cruz. Viano had another Houston quarterback go down to injury (Matt Leinart this time). Ryan Mathews and Willis McGahee combined for 24.50. Sadly, except for 10.00 from Billy Cundiff (yay PFL), that was about it for Viano. Playoff Implications: The win keeps Mr. Whitlock in sole possession of second place. He's scored the most points in the league, so a win over Edwin this week won't officially clinch him a spot unless things break the exact right way, but he should unofficially clinch one with the victory. Viano has lost three in a row to fall to eighth. He's only two games back, but he needs to win his last two games and get a lot of help.
C (8-4): Brees finished with 371 total yards and five touchdowns. There's not much else you can say about that. What a performance. Cruz caught nine passes for 157 yards and two scores. Marshall had 103 receiving yards and a touchdown (13.50), while McCoy scored a touchdown and Murray 128 yards of total offense (12.00 apiece). MVP: Brees. This does not require any additional explanation. LVP: Owen Daniels. He turned in the lowest point total on Champ's offense, putting up 3.00.
LMMG (5-7): Leinart (9.50) left before the first half was over. Mathews paced LMMG with 142 total yards (13.50). McGahee had 117 rushing yards (11.00). Viano got one touchdown, and that was from Leinart before he was broken. A.J. Green (6.50) caught three passes for 110 yards. MVP: Mathews. He gets this spot by process of elimination. LVP: Vincent Jackson. His up-and-down season continues. This week was down, as he only managed two catches for 25 yards (2.00).
Next Week: At least one playoff spot can be clinched in Week 13. The top match-up is Pantry Cereals against Phil Powell Rules. Also, Baron faces JR. The winner will remain in the playoff hunt, while the loser will have work to do in Week 14. Tomke faces Viano in what is another de facto elimination game, while Champ takes on Edwin and Eli looks to bounce back against Welty (who is 0-2 since he changed his name, just saying).

Week Ten in Review

Note: As you probably noticed, there was not a recap last week. I bought myself a Playstation 3 for my birthday, and all my free time last week was spent playing PGA Tour 12 and College Football 12. Here is what happened in week nine: Baron beat me by 23 to win his fifth straight, Welty handed Ed his ninth straight loss, Vincent Jackson led Viano to a big win over Drew, JR blew out Eli, and Champ blew out Tomke.
Now on to Week Ten action. Ed (thanks mostly to the Ditka sweater-vest he was wearing on Sunday) got off the schnide and won his first game of the year. A meaningless touchdown by Adrian Peterson gave me a one-point win over JR in a battle of 6-3 squads. Eli nearly doubled-up Viano. Champ's squad emphatically brought Baron's five-game winning streak to an end, and Welty won his fourth straight in convincing fashion over Tomke (but Dave got into multiple fights with Chicago fans at Soldier Field, so that probably evens out). As of now, there are two teams at the top with records of 7-3 (Whitlock, Stem) and two teams tied for third at 6-6 (Eli, JR). Three teams are at 5-5, and two more are tied at 4-6. No one has yet clinched a playoff spot, and the teams tied for eighth are just two games out of a playoff spot. Anything can happen, including Ed losing out on the top pick in the 2012 draft.

Another note: due to my promising that I would give Ed's first win top billing, I will deviate slightly from the formula of listing these games by the margin of victory. This works out for me because I don't like talking about my team first anyway.

Bobby Engram 95.25-Pantry Cereals 84.75
Ed's players finally got their collective acts together (even though this was only his fifth-best point total of the season) in a win that Drew foresaw before the week even started. Philip Rivers limited himself to two turnovers (good for him). Chris Johnson went off and scored more than 1/4 of his total points for the season. Early Doucet caught a late touchdown to keep Ed's wide receivers from being totally worthless (9.00 combined). John Kasay made a bunch of field goals, including the game-winner in overtime. Tom Brady had a big day (30.50) for Drew, but Wes Welker ended up on Revis Island and saw all of Brady's touchdowns go elsewhere. Ray Rice threw a touchdown pass, but his offensive coordinator still hates him for some reason (more on that later). Drew traded for Jeremy Maclin (getting rid of Rashard Mendenhall in the process), and Maclin went out and got hurt in the first quarter. Did you know: John Kasay was selected as the first kicker off the board in the fourth round of the 1991 NFL Draft.
BE (1-9): After throwing four touchdown passes the week before, Rivers threw two against the Raiders (16.75). Demaryius Thomas' quarter back only completed two passes, and he must feel like he's back at Georgia Tech all over again. Before Doucet (8.50) caught a touchdown in the last minute, Ed's receivers had combined for 2.50 points. Jermaine Gresham (9.00) caught a touchdown. Kasay (15.00) made four field goals and two extra points. But the story of the day was Chris Johnson. CJ had 174 total yards and a touchdown, and for the first time this year, he looked like the back everyone thought he would be. MVP: Johnson. Through nine games, he has accounted for 84.50 points. He scored 23.00 in week ten. LVP: Tim Tebow. While not on Ed's roster, Tebow's lack of passing ability (only eight attempts against KC) has made Thomas' value close to zilch.
PC (5-5): Brady (30.25) single handedly made this match-up close. But as previously mentioned, all three of his touchdowns went to someone other than Wes Welker. Drew missed out on the chance to get double points, and that cost him dearly. Dwayne Bowe and Jeremy Maclin combined for four catches (2.00). Ray Rice (14.25) threw a touchdown pass but only had 81 yards of total offense against Seattle (more on that later). Cedric Benson and Jackie Battle combined for 11.75. Not to pour salt in the wound, but Drew would have won if he had not traded Mendenhall. I'm just saying. MVP: Brady. He finished with 329 yards passing and three touchdowns. He did all he could to help out PC. LVP: Cam Cameron. The offensive coordinator of the Ravens undoubtedly earned the wrath of Terrell Suggs yet again by only giving Rice five carries and attempting 52 passes. How do you do that against Seattle?
Phil Powell Rules 117.75-Jamie Looks Hot 116.75
Somehow, in spite of a career game from Michael Bush and three touchdowns from Jordy Nelson and Greg Jennings (I swear JR only starts Nelson against me), I managed to pull out a one-point victory. Aaron Rodgers threw four touchdown passes (and managed to run for 21 yards). Brandon Lloyd, Deion Branch, and Vernon Davis all caught touchdown passes, and Adrian Peterson managed one very late (and very important) touchdown. That was pretty much it from my guys. Bush, Nelson, and Ryan all had big days for Radcliffe. It was a contest of contrasts, as my team got one huge performance from Rodgers and then had five guys score 9.50-11.00. JR had really solid days (at least 17.50 from each) from three guys and no one else had more than 8.50. Did you know: My team leads the league in guys who played at Nebraska and both are rookies (Roy Helu and Alex Henery).
PPR (7-3): Any discussion of this team begins and ends with Rodgers. Four touchdowns and 271 total yards (36.75) equals a pretty good day. Davis, Branch, and Lloyd combined for 12 catches, 146 yards, and three touchdowns (30.00). Peterson (11.00) had 51 yards rushing and a touchdown, and Michael Turner had 106 total yards (9.50). That's basically it. And this week it was just enough. MVP: Rodgers. He would have been even better if he hadn't tossed three TDs to JR's guys, but I shouldn't complain. LVP: Calvin Johnson. He finished with seven catches for 81 yards and a fumble (4.50). Those aren't awful numbers, but not as good compared to what he had put up the rest of the year. I'm sure the Bears had something to do with that.
JLH (6-4): Michael Bush continued to take advantage of Darren McFadden's absence by scoring a touchdown and having 242 total yards of offense (26.50). Nelson caught two touchdowns (17.50). Matt Ryan (23.25) threw for 351 yards and two scores. Shonn Greene and Jonathan Stewart combined for just 12.00. Santonio Holmes (7.00) caught six passes for 93 yards. MVP: Bush. Even though I ended up winning, I'm pretty sure I would still try to kick him in the nuts if I saw him walking down the street. LVP: Randall Cobb. Ahead 24-0 in the third quarter, Cobb fumbled a punt inside his own 20. Minnesota recovered and AP scored on the following possession. If Cobb doesn't fumble, AP probably doesn't score and JR wins.

Fruit on the Bottom 107.25-Who is Ron Mexico 73.25
Since Welty's name change didn't occur until after this game was over, the recap will reflect his old name. Welty's highest scoring player was the newly acquired Rashard Mendenhall with 17.50, but he had five players score at least 11.50. This probably would have been an even bigger blowout if Michael Vick (7.00) had not broken two ribs on the second play of the game. Welty's decision to start Laurent Robinson (who was in the Dallas lineup for the injured Miles Austin) was rewarded with two touchdowns. Tomke was burned by four players who put up 0.00. Two didn't play (Rian Lindell was injured and DeSean Jackson missed a meeting and was suspended), while BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Jason Babin were simply ineffective. Maurice Jones-Drew (19.50) had his best day of the season, and Jimmy Graham (13.50) continued to be one of Drew Brees' favorite targets. Not much else went right for Dave, and he had to watch the disaster that was Matt Stafford throwing four interceptions in person. Did you know: Vincent Brown, who caught a touchdown pass for Welty's squad and was a third round selection of the Chargers in this past April's draft, has the third-most receiving yards in San Diego State history with 3,110.
FOTB (4-6): Welty didn't need Vick to have a big week this week, which is good, because he didn't. Vick finished with 208 total yards and two interceptions. (As an aside, Welty would have been better off starting Tim Tebow, who despite only completing two passes outscored Vick by 10.50). FOTB's fourth-straight win came from both expected (Steven Jackson and Tony Gonzalez--23.50 combined) and unexpected (Robinson and Brown--170 yards and three touchdowns combined) sources, as well as a newly acquired source (Mendenhall's 70 total yards and two touchdowns for 17.50). Knowshon Moreno was on the bench this week, and that's where he will stay as he tore up his knee and will be out for the rest of the year. MVP: Robinson. He caught three passes for 73 yards and three scores, which is outstanding production in any case, but is especially good for a guy who was the fourth or fifth best option for the Cowboys at the start of the year. LVP: Vick. I know he was injured and all, but only putting up 7.00 against the Cardinals is just sad.
WIRM (4-6): Tomke has lost five-straight, and what was a once promising campaign appears as though it will end without a playoff berth. Dave got three non-quarterback touchdowns (and Stafford only added one himself) to go along with two goose eggs from skill position players. Things would have been even worse if Eric Decker's only reception hadn't been a 56-yard touchdown (8.50). Graham (13.50) caught seven passes for 82 yards and a score. MVP: MJD. Jones-Drew finished with 137 total yards and a touchdown (19.50) to lead the way for Dave's squad. LVP: DeSean Jackson. Green-Ellis gets a pass here (he went to Indiana and then transferred to Mississippi after all). Don't miss meetings. It's really not that hard. Show up on time and catch passes. That's all that is asked of you.

ChamPeons 140.75-Waiting for Goodell 103.25
Champ emphatically brought Baron's winning streak to an end. Champ got at least 12.50 from all three of his running backs, including 23.00 from DeMarco Murray, who may be second only to Cam Newton in terms of waiver wire pick ups this season. Only two of Champ's nine starters (Owen Daniels and Steve Smith) scored fewer than 7.50, but David Akers more than made up for it with 14.50. As a matter of fact, Daniels and Smith were the only two to score fewer than 4.00 on all of Champ's roster. That, gentlemen, is how you score 140+ points. Baron got mammoth days from Arian Foster (27.00) and Rob Gronkowski (21.00), but that was offset by below-average days from Darren Sproles, Julio Jones, Stevie Johnson, and Frank Gore (4.50 combined). Baron should be commended for putting up such a high score when four of his offensive guys combine for 4.50. Whereas Champ only had two guys score fewer than 4.00, Baron had six guys score 2.25 or fewer. That was the difference between these two. (I know insightful commentary such as that last sentence is the reason why you read this blog). Did you know: Mike is actually Mike Wallace's middle name (his first name is Burnell). It's fitting that he's on Baron's team, since his middle name is Baron and his first name is Robert. C (7-3): Impressively, Champ put up 140.75 with only five touchdowns. Brees accounted for two of them, while LeSean McCoy, Matt Forte, and Murray each had one. Murray finished with 171 total yards. McCoy (16.00) added 93 total yards. Champ's three starting wide receivers (not counting Smith at the flex) combined for 21 catches and 295 yards (24.00). David Akers (14.50) made four field goals, an extra point, and a tackle. Patrick Willis (8.00) had 11 tackles and a sack. MVP: Murray. We all know Brees is going to put up numbers every week, but Murray continues to impress with another 20+ performance this week. LVP: Daniels. He finished with three catches for 31 yards. His 2.50 total was the worst on Champ's team.
WFG (5-5): Jones, Gore, and Johnson were all injured (2.50 combined), and Darren Sproles was essentially ignored (2.00). Ben Roethlisberger (12.25) finished with 245 yards and one touchdown and one interception (thanks mostly to the sabotage of Heath Miller). Foster had 186 total yards and two touchdowns. Gronkowski (who somehow managed to not think about the porn star he's dating) caught eight passes for 113 yards and two scores. Purdue's Ryan Kerrigan celebrated his alma mater's victory over Ohio State (I'll drink to that) with six tackles, two sacks, forced two fumbles (14.75). MVP: Foster. If Ben Tate didn't steal some of his carries (both rushed for 100+ yards against Tampa Bay), he would put up 30+ points per game. LVP: The Fantasy Sports Gods. Injuries to three of his better starters on offense is just cruel.

Dexter McClusterfunk 124.00-Let My Monkeys Go 67.75
Eli had six guys put up double-digit point totals and Viano only had one. (And to add injury to insult, Matt Schaub, Viano's only real scorer this week, broke a bone in his foot and will be out for the remainder of the year). Cam Newton only put up 11.75, but Larry Fitzgerald and Reggie Bush (who seems to be playing with a renewed sense of purpose since Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries split up) combined for 40.50 to make up for Newton's lack of performance. Fred Jackson, Dez Bryant, and Robbie Gould all went for at least 10 points for Eli as well. Viano's second-best point total was Roman Harper's 8.75. Did you know: Pierre Garcon won two Division III national championships as a receiver at Mount Union. DMC (6-4): Eli takes a hold of the third-seed by nearly doubling up Viano. Fitzgerald (22.50) led the way with seven catches for 142 yards and two scores (and he very nearly had a third before being ruled down at the one). Bush (18.00) only had 51 total yards, but he did have two touchdowns. Fred Jackson had 115 total yards (10.00) in his return to Dallas. Dez Bryant (12.00) caught six passes for 74 yards and a touchdown. Newton had 267 yards of total offense but zero touchdowns and one interception. MVP: Fitzgerald. He had his best game of the season, and for some reason, it came against the "Dream Team" and with John Skelton at quarterback. LVP: Mark Ingram. The rookie from Alabama finished with 14 total yards on nine touches (1.00).
LMMG (5-5): Schaub was solid (242 yards passing and two scores), but he was lost for the rest of the year. Willis McGahee and A.J. Green (8.50 combined) were both injured during their respective games as well. The San Diego backfield of Ryan Mathews and Mike Tolbert combined for 132 total yards and 12.00 points. Roman Harper had 13 tackles and a sack. In happier news for Viano, Felix Jones is expected to play this week. MVP: Schaub. It's a really easy selection when one player scored 30 percent of a team's points. LVP: Vincent Jackson. A week after catching three touchdown passes, Jackson caught one pass for 22 yards (1.50).

Next Week: Champ and JR square off in what may end up being a playoff preview. Tomke looks to end his five-game losing streak against Baron. Ed tries for back-to-back wins against Eli. Welty looks for his fifth-straight win (and a chance to make a serious playoff push) against Drew. Viano tries to keep his playoff hopes alive against my team.

VUFSA in Review: Week 8

Parody may reign supreme in the standings (the teams tied for sixth are only one game out of a playoff spot), but not on the scoreboard. Week Eight saw another slate of games where not one contest was decided by fewer than 15 points. The closest match-up was Baron's 18.75-point win over Eli. Welty won his second in a row. Baron has gotten back to .500 thanks to his third straight win. Three of the four teams who were tied for first last week went down to defeat (my team was the only one that managed to avoid such a fate). Ed remained winless and traded away the one player who had performed somewhat consistently for him this year (but he did pick up another draft pick--more on that later). JR finds himself out of the playoffs this week, I'm guessing (based on the standings) because the first tiebreaker is total points scored. JR's loss is Drew's gain as he's back into the playoffs this week. On with the show.

Waiting for Goodell 126.25-Dexter McClusterfunk 107.50
The good version of Ben Roethlisberger continues to show up for Baron (12 TDs, two INTs in the last four weeks). Frank Gore and Arian Foster were both very good (37 points combined), and I'm sure Baron has waited all year for them to be good at the same time. Cam Newton continued to be super-good (I am going to go ahead and anoint this the Waiver Wire Pick Up of the Year--I feel confident in doing this), and Fred Jackson was solid, but there weren't any other eye-popping performances for the Gun. Interestingly, each guy had one of the New England tight ends. Baron won the tight end battle 7.50 (Rob Gronkowski)-7.00 (Aaron Hernandez). A special shout out to the ageless wonder Jason Hanson. The Lions' kicker put up 10.00 in Denver. Did you know: Speaking of Hanson, He and Drew Bledsoe were teammates at Washington State in the early 90's. They played Michigan in Ann Arbor in 1993 in my first game as a season-ticket holder.
WFG (4-4): Good Big Ben (365 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT) led the way with 25.00. Gore (134 yards and a touchdown) was seemingly San Francisco's only offense against the Browns, and Foster added 124 total yards and a score. Mario Manningham caught six passes for 63 yards and a touchdown (12.00). Percy Harvin had a touchdown, but offset that with a fumble (8.50). Hanson (10.00) made one field goal and six extra points. Each of Baron's offensive starters scored at least 5.00. MVP: Big Ben. As mentioned before, the wrestling-loving QB has 12 TDs and just 2 INTs in his last four games. He started slowly but has really turned it on of late. LVP: Stevie Johnson. Not a lot to choose from, but Johnson had the lowest score of an offensive starter (5.00) with six catches for 57 yards.
DMC (5-3): Hooray Cam Newton, who had 343 yards of total offense and three touchdowns (27.50). Boo Cam Newton, who also had two fumbles. Eli only got one other touchdown from his offense, coming from Aaron Hernandez. Fred Jackson did have 194 total yards (16.00), and Reggie Bush (maybe he knew Kim Kardashian was going to go back on the market) had 120 total yards for 12.00. Larry Fitzgerald had 98 receiving yards, and Fred Davis caught eight passes for 94 yards. MVP: Newton. He finished with 290 yards passing and three scores and also rushed for 53 yards. If not for the two fumbles, he would have surpassed the 30-point mark. LVP: Dez Bryant. The Dallas offense was less than spectacular as a whole, but Tony Romo couldn't find Bryant, who finished with just three catches for 28 yards (2.50).

Fruit on the Bottom 122.25-ChamPeons 102.50
Welty finally moved Steven Jackson back into the starting lineup (right after I had inquired about making a trade for him no less), and that led him to his second-straight win. Jackson finished with 30.00 points, and only LeSean McCoy (31.00) scored more points than he did. Michael Vick had a big day (27.25) to offset McCoy's output. Antonio Brown and Jared Allen (yay defense) also reached double-figures for Welty. After combining for 60-plus points in week seven, Drew Brees and Marques Colston combined for just 16.00 in week eight. The Eagles were able to shut down DeMarco Murray. Did you know: Jerome Simpson (see below) played football and ran track at Coastal Carolina, which located in Conway, SC (near Myrtle Beach).
FOTB (2-6): Vick (329 total yards, two TDs, zero turnovers) had one of his best games of the year. Antonio Brown, Jeremy Maclin, and Jerome Simpson all caught touchdowns for Welty. The big story though was Jackson. He had by far his best game of the season (against the Saints even) with two rushing touchdowns and more than 150 rushing yards. His effort was needed as Welty's two other backs combined for eight points total. Jared Allen had five tackles and a sack to go along with a forced fumble and a recovery. MVP: Jackson. Maybe he likes the throwback uniforms. Whatever the reason, Jackson finished with 191 total yards and two scores. LVP: Ryan Torain. Washington's running game has been so bad, that the Redskins sign Tashard Choice, who had just been cut by the Cowboys. Torain managed 20 yards of total offense (1.50).
C (5-3): McCoy had two touchdowns, and the rest of Champ's team (including Brees) had two as well. Brees (12.50) managed 30 fewer points than last week, and he actually had more interceptions (two) than touchdowns (one). Steve Smith had seven catches for 100 yards and a touchdown (15.50). No one else had particularly stellar numbers. MVP: McCoy. LeSean finished with 200 total yards (a career-high 185 on the ground) and two scores. LVP: Brees. Normally, I would avoid putting a QB who scored more than 10 here, but given the match-up and what he did last week, this has to be the most disappointing result on Champ's roster. Brees scored half as many points as he was predicted to have (and I think that estimate against the Rams was low).

Phil Powell Rules 118.25-Who is Ron Mexico 94.25
The Lions (excluding Calvin Johnson) did their best to try and lift Tomke to the win. He even got a 102-yard interception return for a touchdown from Chris Houston. Aside from those guys though (and the newly acquired Maurice Jones-Drew), Tomke didn't get much. Two players (neither of whom played much, if at all) came up with goose eggs. Ryan Fitzpatrick did what Ryan Fitzpatrick does (manages the game), Megatron caught another touchdown, Adrian Peterson had a really big day, and there was a Nate Washington sighting in Nashville. Did you know: Tomke leads the VUFSA in number of players with hyphenated last names with two (Jones-Drew and Green-Ellis). He also leads the league in number of players named BenJarvus, but that isn't nearly as impressive.
PPR (6-2): I was bracing for a loss this week with Rodgers, Starks, and Turner all being on byes and Peyton Hillis suffering from the Madden curse, but points came from both surprising and not so surprising places. AP finished with 161 total yards and two scores (25.50). Four of the five receivers I started caught a touchdown pass (Jabar Gaffney, y u no catch touchdown?). Washington (15.00) caught a touchdown and ran in another. Brandon Lloyd (11.00) was so happy to be out of Denver that he caught a touchdown pass. Even Deion Branch caught a touchdown. Megatron had another touchdown and another 100-plus receiving yards (15.00). Fitzpatrick had two touchdowns but also two turnovers (16.25). MVP: Peterson. I was tempted to go with Washington, but AP's day (86 yards rushing, 76 yards receiving and two scores) was too good to overlook. LVP: Vernon Davis. He only had three catches for 27 yards (2.50). His up and down season continues.
WIRM (4-4): Tomke made a big move by sending Darren McFadden and his 3rd round pick (yes, I know Stephen Tulloch was also a part of the deal) to Edwin for Andre Johnson and MJD. Unfortunately for Dave, Johnson missed the game again this week and he was kept in the lineup. Green-Ellis also registered a 0.00 as he only rushed for nine yards. Matthew Stafford (30.25) tossed three touchdown passes and looked fully healthy. MJD had 74 total yards and a score (12.50). Maurice Morris had 65 total yards and a score (12.50). Houston's pick-six was good enough for 11.50 points. Rian Lindell (spell your name like all the other Ryan's out there, jerk) enjoyed kicking in Canada (three field goals, 11.00 total). MVP: Stafford. He showed no ill effects from an ankle injury the previous week. He certainly did his part with 288 total yards and three scores. LVP: Green-Ellis. He has been limited by a toe injury, put he struggled mightily against the Steelers (0.00). It was so bad, that Kevin Faulk came out of retirement during the game to play for New England.

Pantry Cereals 129.50-Jamie Looks Hot 81.50
Drew got back to his winning ways thanks to three 20-plus performances (including one from a defensive player). Ray Rice (28.50) scored three touchdowns, which has to make Terrell Suggs happy. Tom Brady (21.00) threw a couple of touchdown passes, none of which went to Wes Welker. Jackie Battle scored a touchdown for the Chiefs, and Nick Novak made a bunch of field goals for the Chargers. (He would have had the chance to try one more if Captain Turnover--also known as Philip Rivers--hadn't fumbled near the end of regulation. JR only got one double-digit performance, although Eli Manning was pretty good (25.75). Ahmad Bradshaw was injured, and the JR's three backs combined for 16.50. Stafford favored Tony Scheffler instead of Brandon Pettigrew (1.50). Did you know: DeMarcus Ware's 20.25 points is the highest score turned in by an individual defensive player this season.
PC (5-3): MVP: Ware. Speaking of Ware, he finished with four sacks and a forced fumble, which is about as much as the Valpo defense has done this year. Rice had 99 total yards and three touchdowns. Brady was held to under 200 yards passing (198), but he had two touchdowns and no turnovers. Battle (13.00) had 70 rushing yards and a score. Novak (12.00) made four field goals. Other than that, Drew's lineup was pretty quiet, but it didn't matter because Rice, Battle, Ware, and Brady would have beaten JR by themselves (82.50-81.50). Rice had a better day point-wise, but a defensive performance of this caliber deserves special recognition. It was good to see at least one Dallas player wanted to win against the Eagles. LVP: Jason Witten. While Ware was busy wrecking havoc, Witten managed just four catches for 28 yards (3.00).
JLH (5-3): JR's winning streak came to an end because no one other than Eli Manning (25.75) decided to show up. JR got one non-QB touchdown, and it came from IDP Jason McCourty (9.50). Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams combined for 8.00. His three wide receivers combined for 10.00. It's hard to win when five players combine for 18.00. MVP: Manning. Eli passed for 349 yards and two scores. It would have been a worthy performance regardless of roster, but given what the rest of JLH did, this was an easy choice. LVP: Robert Meachem. Against the Rams, Drew Brees was expected to do more, so two catches for 12 yards (1.00) has to be really, really disappointing.

Let My Monkeys Go 102.75-Bobby Engram 53.25
Viano's squad got four double-digit performances (although none was higher than 17.00), but that was more than enough as none of Ed's players managed more 8.00. Ryan Mathews and Montario Hardesty were both injured, so Viano's RB depth may be put to test in upcoming weeks. Billy Cundiff (12.00) had the second-best score in this match-up. Matt Schaub was solid (17.00) but not spectacular. A.J. Green caught another touchdown pass. And Philip Rivers is still really bad at football. The best news for Ed was that he picked up Darren McFadden and Tomke's third round pick. Did you know: Ed has five picks in the first three rounds of the 2012 draft, including three in the third round. If he ends up with five players who are keeper-worthy, he will be right back in the hunt next year.
LMMG (4-4): Schaub threw for 200 yards and had two total touchdowns and a fumble. Green (11.50) had four catches for 63 yards and a touchdown. He has had a really solid rookie year. Greg Olsen (11.00) had 73 yards receiving and a score. Anquan Boldin (10.50) caught seven passes for 145 yards. Cundiff made three field goals and three extra points. MVP: Green. Schaub had kind of a meh day, so Green goes here. LVP: Hardesty. He only had six rushing yards before leaving with an injury (and forcing Cleveland to turn to a running back no one outside of Cleveland has ever heard of).
BE (0-8): The losing streak continues for Edwin. Rivers continued to be terrible (7.00) with three turnovers and no touchdowns. Chris Johnson was held under 65 yards for the sixth time in seven games this season. You know it's bad when the coach has to say that your stud running back won't be replaced. Early Doucet (8.00) had Ed's only touchdown. Let that sink in for a minute....(go ahead, I'll wait)...his roster scored one touchdown. Yikes. Heath Miller (8.00) had seven catches for 85 yards. MVP: Doucet. He gets this honor for no other reason than being the one BE player to find the end zone. LVP: Demaryius Thomas. He suffered from Tim Tebow's general lack of skills, as he only had one catch for 10 yards (0.50).

Next Week: Ed looks for his first win of the season against Welty, Baron puts his three-game winning streak on the line against my team, Eli and JR square off in a battle of 5-3 teams, and there will be two contests pairing a 5-3 team against a 4-4 squad with Champ taking on Tomke and Viano facing Drew.