Preseason poll numbers are in, 9 points for a first, 8 for a second, so on and so forth.
1. Madd Skillz- 81 points (Last Year: 1st)
-A perfect score for SKL, first on all ballots. With LaDanian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson, it's understandable. Two stud receivers plus Antonio Gates help justify the selection. In a league where QBs play a big part, will need week-to-week excellence from Matt Hasselbeck, who needs to keep Shaun Alexander out of the end zone at his expense. Kevan Barlow's role as flex back is another wild-card, and so is Wali Lundy's role.
2. The Slumpbusters- 69 points (Last Year: 5th)
-One first, seven second place votes for SLM. Top3 runners are stellar, Clinton Portis' injury notwithstanding. Portis shouldn't miss any game time, but his health will be constantly monitored. Tatum Bell is especially intriguing since the Denver running back competition has been reopened. Best WRs in the league, on the strength of first round picks Santana Moss and Roy Willams (paired with keeper Torry Holt). Newcomer Jeremy Shockey will ease the pain of losing Gates.
3. Cellar Dwellers: 58 points (Last Year: 2nd)
-Steady balloting for CD- between 2nd and 4th on most sheets. Shaun Alexander's return is a large reason for that, as is the projected breakout of Kevin Jones. Larry Fitzgerald is set to become the league's premier receiver, and he hooks up in fantasyland with the league's dreamiest QB, Tom Brady. Stem did a great job of getting a steady stud player at pick #9. Donte Stallworth's inclusion in the Philly offense makes him a player of interest in the flex spot. Little depth at RB is (again) cause for concern in Dwellerland, but the combination of top-heavy talent and a forgiving schedule pave the way to the playoffs.
T4. Naj Davenport's Poop: 53 points (Last Year: 6th)
-NDP is the team that I use the word "reloaded" to describe. A regular season champ in '04, and big time talent in '05, never could get over the hump. This team looks well-put together, and in great position for a good year. Peyton Manning is the unquestioned top QB in a league that puts big emphasis on that position. More importantly, two keeper running backs are free from the shackles of sharing carries. Both Waiver Wire Willie Parker and Ronnie Brown will be bonafide studs this year. The health of Javon Walker is the wild card here- a true #1 when healthy and a great deep threat in Denver. If he isn't 100% or isn't used right, it's a blow to NDP. Mike Bell's selection at #4 is set up to be the biggest mistake of the year if things don't go right in the team's final preseason tuneup.
T4. Tice's Partyboat: 53 points (Last Year: 4th)
-Uncertainty about the surgically repaired shoulder of Drew Brees bothers not only Saints fans, but Drew Wolf as well. Edgerrin James, Warrick Dunn and Ruben Droughns are an exceptionally solid RB crew, though Chris Brown's 1st round selection is looking bad for the overall depth of the team. Randy Moss looked great in the preaseason, and Donald Driver is poised to have a typically solid year as well. The lack of new faces shouldn't be a big concern for TCB, as players like Driver and Alge Crumpler should help the team duplicate it's previous success.
T6. Fresh Legs: 35 points (Last Year: 8th)
-Ranked all over the place, ranging from 8th to 3rd on varying ballots. No team has more players rebounding from season-ending sugery as FL. Carson Palmer looks great and ready to take Peyton Manning's VUFSA crown away from him sooner rather than later. So many questions surround the RBs, be it health (Westbrook), sharing carries (T. Jones) or both (McAllister). Great bench RB depth though, as both Ahman Green and Dominic Rhodes will get carries early in the season. Defense is best in the league, as is TE depth. Chris Chambers cna be an absolute monster with Culpepper in town.
T6. The Nihilist Marmot: 35 points (Last Year: 3rd)
-The Tiki Barber acquisition pushed TNM from outsider to playoff contender, coupling him with young stud Cadillac Williams. Close 2nd in WR to SLM, with the Colts and a repaired Darrell Jackson. Travis Henry was a clutch last second pickup, one who improves depth considerably. Needs some defenders. Could probably use a QB with more upside on the bench, as Kurt Warner's ability to play every game is questionable.
8. ChamPeons: 33 points (Last Year: 7th)
-Probably punished for past performance, but only finished 2 points shy of Baron and JR. Daunte Culpepper looks poised for a big year and the WRs ooze potential. The RB corps is steady for the time being, but the health of Julius Jones and Frank Gore is frightening. Lawrence Maroney insures that Corey Dillon won't be a wasted pick. Has the three rookies most likely to contribute this season (Maroney, Addai, V. Davis) so the future looks bright for the playoff darkhorse.
9. Father Abraham: 21 points (last year: 9th)
-Not a ton here, especially after Domanick Davis passed away. Anquan Boldin is an undeniable stud, and Donovan McNabb will regain that status this year. Fred Taylor and Jamal Lewis are a serviceable tandem when on the field. Joe Horn is primed for a comeback, and Joey Galloway should put up good numbers as well.
10. Who is Ron Mexico: 12 points (Last Year: 10th)
-12 points on 9 ballots is not good. Has the first true building block for the future in place in Eli Manning, and we'll see if Chester Taylor can a stud back or a solid RB2. Reggie Bush's potential is unquestioned, but his role this year will be limited. DeAngelo Williams looked great on a 98-yard kick return, fast and strong. Should be a keeper. Tomke kept 2 WRs and neither are in his week 1 lineup. Should only get better from here on out though.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Sending out an SOS
Now that the league has finalized it's draft- the 2nd most important thing when it comes to having a successful season is finalized as well: the schedule. While everyone understands that yahoo randomly selects which teams do battle twice in a season, it won't stop some owners from moaning and groaning about how much harder their schedule is compared to fellow playoff hopeful Owner X. The complaining is justified in most cases; but for the most part, no one seems to get too angry about it.
Ranking schedule difficulty is based on: 33% my opinion, 33% preseason poll results, 33% past performance, 1% bias. Here we go, from easiest to hardest.
*There is a key of team abbreviations by the schedule to the right
10. Madd Skillz; Teams Played 2x: TPB, TNM, FA, WIRM, CHM
Defending champs have the easiest go, statistically. It helps that they don't have to play themselves. Get teams 9 and 10 from last year twice, but does play two fellow playoff qualifiers twice. Will have to make it through week 3 without LaDanian Tomlinson, Larry Johnson, Terry Glenn and Antonio Gates against FA, and needs a big week 5 against CHM without Matt Hasselbeck, Rudi Johnson, and Chad Johnson.
9. Cellar Dwellers; Teams Played 2x: TNM, FA, WIRM, CHM, SLM
Another team that benefits from not playing itself. Week 14 matchup with The Slumbusters looms as a huge one. Only one playoff qualifier on here, but has the same schedule as SKL with SLM and TPB switched. SLM has the edge in the preseason poll, and thus is deemed tougher. Week 5 against SLM without Shaun Alexander is the team's toughest game. Has one week with multiple byes for starters, and one of them is Donte Stallworth. Sets up extremely well for CD to get back to the playoffs.
8. Fresh Legs; Teams Played 2x: FA, WIRM, CHM, SLM, NDP
No playoff qualifiers on this schedule, but has two teams in SLM and NDP that have reloaded this season. Taking on CHM twice is also no picnic. Last season, Baron complained (justifiably so) about the toughest schedule in the league- this year no such complaint can be made. Can get off to a great start, which would be huge. Week 7 will be tough without Deuce McAllister and Thomas Jones against SKL. Misses three starters in week 9.
7. Tice's Partyboat; Teams Played 2x: SKL, NDP, TNM, FA, WIRM
The 'easiest' four schedules have two things in common. Have you noticed yet? Drew draws SKL twice, after three nightmarish meetings last season. Has the best schedule to close the season of anyone, a nice ace to have up one's sleeve. Missing Keyshawn Johnson and Edgerrin James vs. CD in week 9 and also misses Ruben Droughns and Donald Driver in week 6 vs. CHM.
6. Father Abraham; Teams Played 2x: FL, CD, TPB, TNM, SKL
Lincoln faces all four playoff teams from last year two times, plus faces up and comer FL twice as well. That said, the preseason poll numbers haven't been kind thus far to TNM, and FA's schedule is softened as a result. The worst part is that their most winnable game probably comes in week 7 against WIRM, but misses Jamal Lewis, Joe Horn and Drew Bennett that week. Ouch.
5. The Slumpbusters; Teams Played 2x: WIRM, CHM, NDP, FL, CD
Does not have JR Radcliffe looming in Week 14, but still faces a stiff test against CD. This schedule difficulty looks more impressive when SLM was deemed the 2nd toughest team this season. The schedule difficulty was a mere 3 points away (TPB and FL get 22s, SLM a 24) from being #8, whereas the jump to the next hardest is 5 points. Week 7 is the Rams bye week, tough enough as is, but coupled with a game against TPB, it's salt in the wound. Week 8 may be worse, however- as his nemesis TNM gets him without Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, Roy Williams, and Willis McGahee.
4. Naj Davenport's Poop; Teams Played 2x: CHM, TPB, SLM, TNM, FL
Two serious heavyweights on here, with no weaklings twice as of yet. The schedule was there for Viano to cruise into the playoffs last season, but Fred Lane's Wife stumbled in week 12 to CHM. Goes into battle week 4 without Mike Bell, Willie Parker, Hines Ward and Javon Walker vs. TNM. Not the greatest draw for the reloaded Vianos, but still- doable.
3. The Nihilist Marmot; Teams Played 2x: CD, SKL, TPB, NDP, FA
This schedule is also considerably harder than the one deemed one spot easier. Faces all three fellow playoff teams from last season, though a final with Father Abraham should be less stressful than the past two seasons'. Tiki and Caddy go missing week 4, the same week Viano gets killed with his worst bye. Honestly, JR's bye week is more devastating.
2. ChamPeons; Teams Played 2x: NDP, SLM, FL, CD, SKL
An eyelash easier than Dave's, only because poll numbers have deemed TPB slightly better than NDP so far. Murderous schedule, especially the last two weeks. No breathers here, but that's the way Champ likes it. Steady Eddie, Terrell Owens and Julius Jones all miss week 3 against Baron as his worst bye week.
1. Who Is Ron Mexico?; Teams Played 2x: SLM, FL, CD, SKL, TPB
One point shy of a "perfect" schedule comprised of the 5 toughest teams twice. Ignoring the "they don't play themselves" factor, this is a brutal schedule all the way around. 3 playoff teams and the four highest scorers from last year, all with designs on similar success. Does get to play rival Baron 2x, and that is always entertaining. Does not have an eligible QB in week 4 and misses Chester Taylor, Ernest Wilford, Braylon Edwards and Deion Branch in week 6 vs. JR.
Ranking schedule difficulty is based on: 33% my opinion, 33% preseason poll results, 33% past performance, 1% bias. Here we go, from easiest to hardest.
*There is a key of team abbreviations by the schedule to the right
10. Madd Skillz; Teams Played 2x: TPB, TNM, FA, WIRM, CHM
Defending champs have the easiest go, statistically. It helps that they don't have to play themselves. Get teams 9 and 10 from last year twice, but does play two fellow playoff qualifiers twice. Will have to make it through week 3 without LaDanian Tomlinson, Larry Johnson, Terry Glenn and Antonio Gates against FA, and needs a big week 5 against CHM without Matt Hasselbeck, Rudi Johnson, and Chad Johnson.
9. Cellar Dwellers; Teams Played 2x: TNM, FA, WIRM, CHM, SLM
Another team that benefits from not playing itself. Week 14 matchup with The Slumbusters looms as a huge one. Only one playoff qualifier on here, but has the same schedule as SKL with SLM and TPB switched. SLM has the edge in the preseason poll, and thus is deemed tougher. Week 5 against SLM without Shaun Alexander is the team's toughest game. Has one week with multiple byes for starters, and one of them is Donte Stallworth. Sets up extremely well for CD to get back to the playoffs.
8. Fresh Legs; Teams Played 2x: FA, WIRM, CHM, SLM, NDP
No playoff qualifiers on this schedule, but has two teams in SLM and NDP that have reloaded this season. Taking on CHM twice is also no picnic. Last season, Baron complained (justifiably so) about the toughest schedule in the league- this year no such complaint can be made. Can get off to a great start, which would be huge. Week 7 will be tough without Deuce McAllister and Thomas Jones against SKL. Misses three starters in week 9.
7. Tice's Partyboat; Teams Played 2x: SKL, NDP, TNM, FA, WIRM
The 'easiest' four schedules have two things in common. Have you noticed yet? Drew draws SKL twice, after three nightmarish meetings last season. Has the best schedule to close the season of anyone, a nice ace to have up one's sleeve. Missing Keyshawn Johnson and Edgerrin James vs. CD in week 9 and also misses Ruben Droughns and Donald Driver in week 6 vs. CHM.
6. Father Abraham; Teams Played 2x: FL, CD, TPB, TNM, SKL
Lincoln faces all four playoff teams from last year two times, plus faces up and comer FL twice as well. That said, the preseason poll numbers haven't been kind thus far to TNM, and FA's schedule is softened as a result. The worst part is that their most winnable game probably comes in week 7 against WIRM, but misses Jamal Lewis, Joe Horn and Drew Bennett that week. Ouch.
5. The Slumpbusters; Teams Played 2x: WIRM, CHM, NDP, FL, CD
Does not have JR Radcliffe looming in Week 14, but still faces a stiff test against CD. This schedule difficulty looks more impressive when SLM was deemed the 2nd toughest team this season. The schedule difficulty was a mere 3 points away (TPB and FL get 22s, SLM a 24) from being #8, whereas the jump to the next hardest is 5 points. Week 7 is the Rams bye week, tough enough as is, but coupled with a game against TPB, it's salt in the wound. Week 8 may be worse, however- as his nemesis TNM gets him without Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, Roy Williams, and Willis McGahee.
4. Naj Davenport's Poop; Teams Played 2x: CHM, TPB, SLM, TNM, FL
Two serious heavyweights on here, with no weaklings twice as of yet. The schedule was there for Viano to cruise into the playoffs last season, but Fred Lane's Wife stumbled in week 12 to CHM. Goes into battle week 4 without Mike Bell, Willie Parker, Hines Ward and Javon Walker vs. TNM. Not the greatest draw for the reloaded Vianos, but still- doable.
3. The Nihilist Marmot; Teams Played 2x: CD, SKL, TPB, NDP, FA
This schedule is also considerably harder than the one deemed one spot easier. Faces all three fellow playoff teams from last season, though a final with Father Abraham should be less stressful than the past two seasons'. Tiki and Caddy go missing week 4, the same week Viano gets killed with his worst bye. Honestly, JR's bye week is more devastating.
2. ChamPeons; Teams Played 2x: NDP, SLM, FL, CD, SKL
An eyelash easier than Dave's, only because poll numbers have deemed TPB slightly better than NDP so far. Murderous schedule, especially the last two weeks. No breathers here, but that's the way Champ likes it. Steady Eddie, Terrell Owens and Julius Jones all miss week 3 against Baron as his worst bye week.
1. Who Is Ron Mexico?; Teams Played 2x: SLM, FL, CD, SKL, TPB
One point shy of a "perfect" schedule comprised of the 5 toughest teams twice. Ignoring the "they don't play themselves" factor, this is a brutal schedule all the way around. 3 playoff teams and the four highest scorers from last year, all with designs on similar success. Does get to play rival Baron 2x, and that is always entertaining. Does not have an eligible QB in week 4 and misses Chester Taylor, Ernest Wilford, Braylon Edwards and Deion Branch in week 6 vs. JR.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Draft Analysis
Draft analysis you can't get anywhere else- because no one else in the world cares.
Round 1
-Dave did the smart thing by securing Reggie Bush. In a keeper league, you can't risk passing up a guy with this potential. He gives up some points in the short term, but he'll get those back in the future
-Domanick Davis was the sure thing #2 a couple months ago, but stock has dropped since his ailing knee just won't heal. When (if?) it eventually does, Lincoln nabbed a top line runner in a great system with tremendous keeper appeal. However, the recent news of Davis' possible inclusion on the PUP list is bad for everyone involved. (edit: they're talking about Davis to the IR now, what a nightmare.)
-Antonio Gates was the most talented player in the draft, but his position made his selection somewhat of a luxury for a given team. With his keeper situation more than solid Ed could make this guilt free.
-Past that, the only real surefire first rounder would be Tom Brady. Stem secured maybe a top3 QB at pick 9 and as consistent a player as one could want.
-Roy Willams and Santana Moss give Eli the best receiver corps in the league, as the Slumpbusters went for talent before positional need. Neither one was a reach in round 1, although Roy Williams isn't a lock for a monster year. Sure, Mike Martz is great and his talent is unquestionable- but Roy has always left me feeling like he can give more, like he's always underachieving through an entire season. Plus, there's Jon Kitna. Still, monster upside.
-The most valuable position in the league lead to a number of 1st round crapshoots. Outside of Bush (who isn't expected to do a ton this year anyway) there were 5 backs taken, all of them risky. Davis (injury), Corey Dillon (breaking down, young stud), Mike Bell (Denver), Chris Brown (injuries, teammates), and Kevan Barlow (stinky) represented how the league values runners after such a scarcity last season.
Rd. 1 Recap:
Best Pick: Reggie Bush
Best Value: Tom Brady
Worst Pick: Kevan Barlow
Round 2
-Champ used this round to secure a playoff spot in 2008. At the latest. Lawrence Maroney not only provides great insurance on his first rounder (Dillon) but runs like he is mad at everyone. He reminds me of the Simpsons episode with the peewee football team, where Nelson runs a QB keeper and just knocks every defender to the ground. However, he goes out of his way at the goal line just to knock down one more kid before scoring. I can see Maroney doing that someday. I also think Joseph Addai was a better pick than his teammate Dominic Rhodes taken one slot before him. Those are two tremendous future backs.
-To finalize Dave's first trade in the leauge: One season of Michael Vick, a namesake and Dez White for Lawrence Maroney.
-I'm not sure how I feel about another future back, Cedric Benson at 15. We haven't seen him in extended game action, his teammates hate him, he's only attended like 6 practices in 2 years, and he's hurt right now. However, the Bears are so eager to get him on the field, they're ready to push Thomas Jones to the side after he's been nothing but stellar for them. When and if he gets on the field is key to Viano's season.
-Between Domanick Davis (knee) , Jamal Lewis (hip/jail) and Fred Taylor (everything) Lincoln should probably bookmark Yahoo's injury update page.
-Round 2 saw our first (ok, only) trade of the day when Ed jumped up to #17 to nab a QB before the only other team without one (JR) picked. For the 3rd straight year, Schillinger took Matt Hasselbeck.
-Gieryna continued with his talent hoarding, selecting the very patriotic and homophobic Jeremy Shockey. Nice pickup.
-WRs closed out Round 2- all good ones and good value- (D. Jackson, D. Mason, D. Driver)
Rd. 2 recap:
Best Pick: Darrell Jackson
Best Value: Donald Driver
Worst Pick: Dominic Rhodes
Round 3
-Tomke gets back in the action by insuring one of his keepers, taking DeAngelo Willams. Tomke has a near guarantee of a quality starting runner from Carolina every week.
-Viano continued his roulette game, gambling this time on the previously injurd Javon Walker. I support this one fully- as I think Walker is going to play very well and he owes Viano for last seaon; especially after he held onto him all season but didn't keep him.
-Lincoln got good long-term value with LenDale White who was hyped tremendously until he decided to try and Clarett his draft status. All's well now, and Chris Brown is brittle. Good pick for Souzek.
-Kurt Warner's selection at 38 makes him the final starting QB in the league and as long as he has health and a starting job, he'll be a monster.
-After being torn as to which one to keep, Baron got both Thomas Jones and Ahman Green for this season. I go both ways on Ahman- he's got a great history, and with 24 RBs kept, only 8 starting jobs were left on the draft board, and Green has the inside track to one of them. On the other hand, the Packers are miserable and Green was pathetic last year before his extremely serious inury. His selection is based on name alone.
-Greg Jones' season ending injury is tough to cope with after making a 3rd rounder of him. After seeing "Jax RB Greg Jones left game (knee)" I don't know if anyone knew the extent of the injury before our draft.
-Final body count from the JR/Gun trade: Marc Bulger and Santana Moss for Tiki Barber and TJ Houshmanihatejr.
Rd. 3 Recap:
Best Pick: Javon Walker
Best Value: Kurt Warner
Worst Pick: Trent Green
Round 4
-I have a feeling this round will be looked at as a theatre of errors when all is said and done. Some big time risks here.
-Deion Branch doesn't have a team.
-Reggie Brown was the biggest reach in the draft. Quote both Drew and Stem: "I didn't have him on my board."
-Both Joey Galloway and Terry Glenn are set up for drops from last year, as both have competent targets next to them, and won't sneak up on anyone.
-I'm not sure that Mike Anderson is going to start the year at #2 on the Ravens depth chart. Maybe he's just a Denver creation, like Dante Bichette.
-Tatum Bell, Marion Barber, and TJ Duckett were all fine selections, as not only do they have potential to start at some point, but all should play on a weekly basis, even in backup capacities.
-Donte' Stallworth never lives up to expections. Never. (edit: I had this written before the trade to Philly. I still think Stallworth lacks the mental fortitude to succeed, but this trade will help him)
-Final body count from Ed and Drew's trade: Matt Hasselbeck and TJ Duckett for Donald Driver and Trent Green
Rd. 4 Recap:
Best Pick: Steady Eddie Kennison (why not?)
Best Value: Tatum Bell
Worst Pick: Reggie Brown
Round 5
-The round of the TE, and a good spot for them. Three went (C. Cooley, H. Miller, and LJ Smith) and all of them fit in that 2nd tier of tight ends. Good value on all of them.
-Drew Bennett got a much more suitable draft slot this season, compared to last, and his relationship with Billy Volek will make him a potential steal. (edit: I had written this on Monday, before the Kerry Collins signing, which is bad news for Volek, and in turn, Bennett.)
-The other WRs in this round are serviceable WR3s, (Burleson, Jurevicius, Key. Johnson, Bryant, L. Coles).
-The 2nd Backup QB is taken, as Ed gets nice value on Drew Bledsoe who should see a numbers spike if Terrell Owens can survive his terminal hamstring pull.
-1st round without a RB.
-Thank god these are getting shorter
Rd. 5 Recap
Best Pick: Heath Miller. I think he'll come out huge and Mike Ditka loves him.
Best Value: Drew Bledsoe
Worst Pick: Keyshawn Johnson
Round 6
-Another WR heavy round, and we started scraping the barrel a little bit. Baron stretches again, taking Cedrick Wilson about 7 rounds too high.
-Baron does make a solid pick in nabbing Jake Delhomme to allow him to rest easy until Carson Palmer turns out ok.
-Champ steals Randy McMichael, one of the last every week starters at TE on the board.
-According to Eli, "Michael Vick is so overrated that he became underrated." He's right. 6th round is a fortunate round to get him in, although I'm not sure an inferior QB (except Trent Green maybe) went ahead of him.
-With every team owning at least 4 WRs, Schillinger waited to grab one and scooped up Samkon Gado, the only RB in the round, with decent potential.
Rd. 6 Recap:
Best Pick: Randy McMichael
Best Value: Michael Vick
Worst Pick: Cedrick Wilson
Round 7
-This round was a testament to how well everyone prepared. Every pick was exceptionally solid.
-Champ's 2nd consecutive TE (Vernon Davis) has enormous upside. I'm jealous he got him before me, even if I wouldn't have taken him this high.
-Jerious Norwood was the draft's best sleeper, as his monster preseason game the night before solidified his status as a worthy pick. Not only is he a potential goal-line back, but he's got the opportunity to play every down someday. A coup for Andy.
-Baron's WR in this round (Rod Smith) was way better than his previous two. Nice steal.
-Same for Stem (McCardell after Moulds)
-This round of the backup runners is solid- although Chris Perry has been banged up and Ryan Moats is in trouble in Philly.
-Ben Roethlisberger's expanded role in Pittsburgh could benefit Lincoln, as he got a stellar backup in round 7.
Rd. 7 Recap:
Best Pick: Vernon Davis
Best Value: Rod Smith
Worst Pick: Michael Turner
Round 8
-It's all backups from here on out- and we had a run on backup TEs, with J. Stevens, D. Clark and B. Watson set to backup Witten, Miller and Shockey.
-Byron Leftwich needs just one good game this year, and it has to be during Indianapolis' bye week. That's all Andy asks.
-Steve McNair fell pretty far considering how well he's played in the preseason. Champ continues to sizzle.
-Kudos to Tomke for a slick pickup of the very underrated David Givens.
-First kicker off the board is the best on the board, as Adam Vinateri moves indoors. Starts a mini-run, but a K in round 8...? I don't know.
Rd. 8 Recap
Best Pick: Steve McNair
Best Value: Dallas Clark
Worst Pick: Antowain Smith. Is he even going to make the Texan roster?
Round 9
-Our first two defenders come off the board, Troy Polamalu and reigning defensive player of the year Brian Urlacher are the first to go, despite their mediocre point totals last year.
-Three RBs go this round, all three are long shots to contribute this season (M. Hicks, R. Dayne, D. Staley)
-Last season's folk hero Neil Rackers is off the board and should actually score more this year with an improved Arizona offense.
-Jake Plummer is as solid a backup QB as you could ask for in round 9.
-When Stem told me he was taking Alex Smith, I couldn't stop laughing. Then he told me it was the TE, and it wasn't as funny.
-I'm biased because it was mine- but the most interesting pick in this round would have to be Kellen Winslow at #90. Coming off serious injury and having played only minimally in the NFL, it's almost silly to waste a pick on him, especially minding the pathetic Cleveland offense. Still, he's talented, and with Antonio Gates in tow, backup TE isn't a position of concern outside of a bye week.
Rd. 9 Recap
Best Pick: Jake Plummer
Best Value: Neil Rackers
Worst Pick: Ron Dayne
Round 10
-Last year's top scoring kicker is off the board, as Souzek gets a nice grab with Jay Feely
-Baron continues to stock his team with prized defenders, locking down Dwight Freeney, looking to regain the "league's best defense" title once more.
-At this point in the draft, Jamie asked me to "just tell [her] which players aren't defense."
-2 WR, and a RB go this round, all pretty deep sleepers, although I like TMQ Favorite Ernest Wilford's potential.
-Again with the bias, but Philip Rivers inclusion in the draft board may have been a stretch, but it's my belief that the Chargers made Drew Brees a pro-bowler more than Brees made the Chargers a playoff team. I like the system and the weapons.
Rd. 10 Recap
Picks are all bench fodder from here, so no more recaps
Round 11
-Lots more defense, all good picks.
-Interesting selection at 105 by Viano, getting up and comer Greg Jennings, the GB wideout.
-Eli is probably one year ahead of the curve in getting Matt Leinart. He probably won't be a keeper after this season, but surely has potential in 1 or 2 more seasons.
-Brett Farve to JR Radcliffe at 108. Unforseen by all. Decent upside pick- but more stabilty at QB would be nice for a perennial playoff team like The Nihilish Marmot.
Round 12
-Ben Troupe the only non K/D in this round- a real good young man to backup Tony Gonzalez
Round 13
-Great value out of Chris Henry who will be a good spot starter at Baron's flex.
-Cedric Houston is a great pickup by Champ considering the overall sucky of Kevan Barlow.
-JJ Arrington not a bad man to have just in case, especially as the Edge's handcuff
Round 14
-I love the Mark Clayton selection here. Big upside with Kyle Boller out of the picture.
-I like the Musa Smith pick as a handcuff to Jamal Lewis, mostly because I made it.
-Someone who slipped way too far was Roddy White, who might be Michael Vick's primary WR target in ATL this year. Ashley Lelie dilutes his value, but White shouldn't have lasted 130+ picks. (edit: Just after publishing, I learn White has been dropped. Figures.)
Round 15
-Good long reach on Jerry Porter by Champ, who if he plays in Oakland this year, could have great chemistry with Jeff George.
-Wait, Kyle Orton? Seriously?
Supp. Rd.
-Jeb PUTZier was JR's punishment for leaving early.
More to come later this week.
Round 1
-Dave did the smart thing by securing Reggie Bush. In a keeper league, you can't risk passing up a guy with this potential. He gives up some points in the short term, but he'll get those back in the future
-Domanick Davis was the sure thing #2 a couple months ago, but stock has dropped since his ailing knee just won't heal. When (if?) it eventually does, Lincoln nabbed a top line runner in a great system with tremendous keeper appeal. However, the recent news of Davis' possible inclusion on the PUP list is bad for everyone involved. (edit: they're talking about Davis to the IR now, what a nightmare.)
-Antonio Gates was the most talented player in the draft, but his position made his selection somewhat of a luxury for a given team. With his keeper situation more than solid Ed could make this guilt free.
-Past that, the only real surefire first rounder would be Tom Brady. Stem secured maybe a top3 QB at pick 9 and as consistent a player as one could want.
-Roy Willams and Santana Moss give Eli the best receiver corps in the league, as the Slumpbusters went for talent before positional need. Neither one was a reach in round 1, although Roy Williams isn't a lock for a monster year. Sure, Mike Martz is great and his talent is unquestionable- but Roy has always left me feeling like he can give more, like he's always underachieving through an entire season. Plus, there's Jon Kitna. Still, monster upside.
-The most valuable position in the league lead to a number of 1st round crapshoots. Outside of Bush (who isn't expected to do a ton this year anyway) there were 5 backs taken, all of them risky. Davis (injury), Corey Dillon (breaking down, young stud), Mike Bell (Denver), Chris Brown (injuries, teammates), and Kevan Barlow (stinky) represented how the league values runners after such a scarcity last season.
Rd. 1 Recap:
Best Pick: Reggie Bush
Best Value: Tom Brady
Worst Pick: Kevan Barlow
Round 2
-Champ used this round to secure a playoff spot in 2008. At the latest. Lawrence Maroney not only provides great insurance on his first rounder (Dillon) but runs like he is mad at everyone. He reminds me of the Simpsons episode with the peewee football team, where Nelson runs a QB keeper and just knocks every defender to the ground. However, he goes out of his way at the goal line just to knock down one more kid before scoring. I can see Maroney doing that someday. I also think Joseph Addai was a better pick than his teammate Dominic Rhodes taken one slot before him. Those are two tremendous future backs.
-To finalize Dave's first trade in the leauge: One season of Michael Vick, a namesake and Dez White for Lawrence Maroney.
-I'm not sure how I feel about another future back, Cedric Benson at 15. We haven't seen him in extended game action, his teammates hate him, he's only attended like 6 practices in 2 years, and he's hurt right now. However, the Bears are so eager to get him on the field, they're ready to push Thomas Jones to the side after he's been nothing but stellar for them. When and if he gets on the field is key to Viano's season.
-Between Domanick Davis (knee) , Jamal Lewis (hip/jail) and Fred Taylor (everything) Lincoln should probably bookmark Yahoo's injury update page.
-Round 2 saw our first (ok, only) trade of the day when Ed jumped up to #17 to nab a QB before the only other team without one (JR) picked. For the 3rd straight year, Schillinger took Matt Hasselbeck.
-Gieryna continued with his talent hoarding, selecting the very patriotic and homophobic Jeremy Shockey. Nice pickup.
-WRs closed out Round 2- all good ones and good value- (D. Jackson, D. Mason, D. Driver)
Rd. 2 recap:
Best Pick: Darrell Jackson
Best Value: Donald Driver
Worst Pick: Dominic Rhodes
Round 3
-Tomke gets back in the action by insuring one of his keepers, taking DeAngelo Willams. Tomke has a near guarantee of a quality starting runner from Carolina every week.
-Viano continued his roulette game, gambling this time on the previously injurd Javon Walker. I support this one fully- as I think Walker is going to play very well and he owes Viano for last seaon; especially after he held onto him all season but didn't keep him.
-Lincoln got good long-term value with LenDale White who was hyped tremendously until he decided to try and Clarett his draft status. All's well now, and Chris Brown is brittle. Good pick for Souzek.
-Kurt Warner's selection at 38 makes him the final starting QB in the league and as long as he has health and a starting job, he'll be a monster.
-After being torn as to which one to keep, Baron got both Thomas Jones and Ahman Green for this season. I go both ways on Ahman- he's got a great history, and with 24 RBs kept, only 8 starting jobs were left on the draft board, and Green has the inside track to one of them. On the other hand, the Packers are miserable and Green was pathetic last year before his extremely serious inury. His selection is based on name alone.
-Greg Jones' season ending injury is tough to cope with after making a 3rd rounder of him. After seeing "Jax RB Greg Jones left game (knee)" I don't know if anyone knew the extent of the injury before our draft.
-Final body count from the JR/Gun trade: Marc Bulger and Santana Moss for Tiki Barber and TJ Houshmanihatejr.
Rd. 3 Recap:
Best Pick: Javon Walker
Best Value: Kurt Warner
Worst Pick: Trent Green
Round 4
-I have a feeling this round will be looked at as a theatre of errors when all is said and done. Some big time risks here.
-Deion Branch doesn't have a team.
-Reggie Brown was the biggest reach in the draft. Quote both Drew and Stem: "I didn't have him on my board."
-Both Joey Galloway and Terry Glenn are set up for drops from last year, as both have competent targets next to them, and won't sneak up on anyone.
-I'm not sure that Mike Anderson is going to start the year at #2 on the Ravens depth chart. Maybe he's just a Denver creation, like Dante Bichette.
-Tatum Bell, Marion Barber, and TJ Duckett were all fine selections, as not only do they have potential to start at some point, but all should play on a weekly basis, even in backup capacities.
-Donte' Stallworth never lives up to expections. Never. (edit: I had this written before the trade to Philly. I still think Stallworth lacks the mental fortitude to succeed, but this trade will help him)
-Final body count from Ed and Drew's trade: Matt Hasselbeck and TJ Duckett for Donald Driver and Trent Green
Rd. 4 Recap:
Best Pick: Steady Eddie Kennison (why not?)
Best Value: Tatum Bell
Worst Pick: Reggie Brown
Round 5
-The round of the TE, and a good spot for them. Three went (C. Cooley, H. Miller, and LJ Smith) and all of them fit in that 2nd tier of tight ends. Good value on all of them.
-Drew Bennett got a much more suitable draft slot this season, compared to last, and his relationship with Billy Volek will make him a potential steal. (edit: I had written this on Monday, before the Kerry Collins signing, which is bad news for Volek, and in turn, Bennett.)
-The other WRs in this round are serviceable WR3s, (Burleson, Jurevicius, Key. Johnson, Bryant, L. Coles).
-The 2nd Backup QB is taken, as Ed gets nice value on Drew Bledsoe who should see a numbers spike if Terrell Owens can survive his terminal hamstring pull.
-1st round without a RB.
-Thank god these are getting shorter
Rd. 5 Recap
Best Pick: Heath Miller. I think he'll come out huge and Mike Ditka loves him.
Best Value: Drew Bledsoe
Worst Pick: Keyshawn Johnson
Round 6
-Another WR heavy round, and we started scraping the barrel a little bit. Baron stretches again, taking Cedrick Wilson about 7 rounds too high.
-Baron does make a solid pick in nabbing Jake Delhomme to allow him to rest easy until Carson Palmer turns out ok.
-Champ steals Randy McMichael, one of the last every week starters at TE on the board.
-According to Eli, "Michael Vick is so overrated that he became underrated." He's right. 6th round is a fortunate round to get him in, although I'm not sure an inferior QB (except Trent Green maybe) went ahead of him.
-With every team owning at least 4 WRs, Schillinger waited to grab one and scooped up Samkon Gado, the only RB in the round, with decent potential.
Rd. 6 Recap:
Best Pick: Randy McMichael
Best Value: Michael Vick
Worst Pick: Cedrick Wilson
Round 7
-This round was a testament to how well everyone prepared. Every pick was exceptionally solid.
-Champ's 2nd consecutive TE (Vernon Davis) has enormous upside. I'm jealous he got him before me, even if I wouldn't have taken him this high.
-Jerious Norwood was the draft's best sleeper, as his monster preseason game the night before solidified his status as a worthy pick. Not only is he a potential goal-line back, but he's got the opportunity to play every down someday. A coup for Andy.
-Baron's WR in this round (Rod Smith) was way better than his previous two. Nice steal.
-Same for Stem (McCardell after Moulds)
-This round of the backup runners is solid- although Chris Perry has been banged up and Ryan Moats is in trouble in Philly.
-Ben Roethlisberger's expanded role in Pittsburgh could benefit Lincoln, as he got a stellar backup in round 7.
Rd. 7 Recap:
Best Pick: Vernon Davis
Best Value: Rod Smith
Worst Pick: Michael Turner
Round 8
-It's all backups from here on out- and we had a run on backup TEs, with J. Stevens, D. Clark and B. Watson set to backup Witten, Miller and Shockey.
-Byron Leftwich needs just one good game this year, and it has to be during Indianapolis' bye week. That's all Andy asks.
-Steve McNair fell pretty far considering how well he's played in the preseason. Champ continues to sizzle.
-Kudos to Tomke for a slick pickup of the very underrated David Givens.
-First kicker off the board is the best on the board, as Adam Vinateri moves indoors. Starts a mini-run, but a K in round 8...? I don't know.
Rd. 8 Recap
Best Pick: Steve McNair
Best Value: Dallas Clark
Worst Pick: Antowain Smith. Is he even going to make the Texan roster?
Round 9
-Our first two defenders come off the board, Troy Polamalu and reigning defensive player of the year Brian Urlacher are the first to go, despite their mediocre point totals last year.
-Three RBs go this round, all three are long shots to contribute this season (M. Hicks, R. Dayne, D. Staley)
-Last season's folk hero Neil Rackers is off the board and should actually score more this year with an improved Arizona offense.
-Jake Plummer is as solid a backup QB as you could ask for in round 9.
-When Stem told me he was taking Alex Smith, I couldn't stop laughing. Then he told me it was the TE, and it wasn't as funny.
-I'm biased because it was mine- but the most interesting pick in this round would have to be Kellen Winslow at #90. Coming off serious injury and having played only minimally in the NFL, it's almost silly to waste a pick on him, especially minding the pathetic Cleveland offense. Still, he's talented, and with Antonio Gates in tow, backup TE isn't a position of concern outside of a bye week.
Rd. 9 Recap
Best Pick: Jake Plummer
Best Value: Neil Rackers
Worst Pick: Ron Dayne
Round 10
-Last year's top scoring kicker is off the board, as Souzek gets a nice grab with Jay Feely
-Baron continues to stock his team with prized defenders, locking down Dwight Freeney, looking to regain the "league's best defense" title once more.
-At this point in the draft, Jamie asked me to "just tell [her] which players aren't defense."
-2 WR, and a RB go this round, all pretty deep sleepers, although I like TMQ Favorite Ernest Wilford's potential.
-Again with the bias, but Philip Rivers inclusion in the draft board may have been a stretch, but it's my belief that the Chargers made Drew Brees a pro-bowler more than Brees made the Chargers a playoff team. I like the system and the weapons.
Rd. 10 Recap
Picks are all bench fodder from here, so no more recaps
Round 11
-Lots more defense, all good picks.
-Interesting selection at 105 by Viano, getting up and comer Greg Jennings, the GB wideout.
-Eli is probably one year ahead of the curve in getting Matt Leinart. He probably won't be a keeper after this season, but surely has potential in 1 or 2 more seasons.
-Brett Farve to JR Radcliffe at 108. Unforseen by all. Decent upside pick- but more stabilty at QB would be nice for a perennial playoff team like The Nihilish Marmot.
Round 12
-Ben Troupe the only non K/D in this round- a real good young man to backup Tony Gonzalez
Round 13
-Great value out of Chris Henry who will be a good spot starter at Baron's flex.
-Cedric Houston is a great pickup by Champ considering the overall sucky of Kevan Barlow.
-JJ Arrington not a bad man to have just in case, especially as the Edge's handcuff
Round 14
-I love the Mark Clayton selection here. Big upside with Kyle Boller out of the picture.
-I like the Musa Smith pick as a handcuff to Jamal Lewis, mostly because I made it.
-Someone who slipped way too far was Roddy White, who might be Michael Vick's primary WR target in ATL this year. Ashley Lelie dilutes his value, but White shouldn't have lasted 130+ picks. (edit: Just after publishing, I learn White has been dropped. Figures.)
Round 15
-Good long reach on Jerry Porter by Champ, who if he plays in Oakland this year, could have great chemistry with Jeff George.
-Wait, Kyle Orton? Seriously?
Supp. Rd.
-Jeb PUTZier was JR's punishment for leaving early.
More to come later this week.
Running Back Rankings
I'm doing running backs today, wide-outs tomorrow, and then tight ends/kickers Thursday. I'm going to do four running backs and three or four receivers, since most of us are going to start four RBs or four WRs. Once again, these are Yahoo's rankings, not mine.
10. The Nihilist Marmot (+270)
Tiki Barber (4)
Carnell Williams (15)
Mike Anderson (116)
Mewelde Moore (135)
Wow, talk about a drop-off. Barber is one of the best running backs in the league, and whether or not he gets goal-line touches, he'll have a shit load of yards. Barring another injury, Williams should resume his impressive season. And then there is shit. Anderson has a good chance of seeing the field, since Jamal Lewis is still recovering from the trauma he suffered in jail (probably anal trauma). Moore is behind Chester Taylor, and I doubt Minnesota brought Taylor in to sit the bench.
9. Who is Ron Mexico? (+243)
Reggie Bush (34)
Chester Taylor (52)
DeShaun Foster (55)
DeAngelo Williams (102)
Reggie Bush is already the highlight of this running back crew. Despite the fact that the Saints also have Deuce McAllister, Bush could be the most talented running back to come into the NFL in a long time. He's god-damned electrifying. Taylor and Foster are both getting their first shots at starting jobs in the NFL, in Minnesota and Carolina, respectively. Carolina likes to run, and Minnesota has Brad Johnson for a quarterback. Williams is young and promising, and is a great insurance pick since Foster hasn't proven that he can stay healthy for a full season.
8. Father Abraham (+210)
Domanick Davis (23)
Jamal Lewis (48)
Fred Taylor (57)
LenDale White (82)
There are a lot of question marks in this group. Despite the fact that it ranks higher than two other squads, I have a feeling that it could end up being the worst. Davis and Taylor suck real hard at being healthy. One of them will probably break a leg and the other will probably contract SARS and die. As previously mentioned, Lewis' anus has still not recovered. At least, I don't think it has. White's not a starter yet, but Chris Brown is the one ahead of him, and he's just a fragile as the rest of this team.
7. Champeons (+199)
Julius Jones (24)
Corey Dillon (41)
Joseph Addai (56)
Laurence Maroney (78)
Champ is set up real nice for the future. I'm skeptical, though, as to how this team will work out this year. Jones has the problem of having one of the better backups in the league (Marion Barber). He'll have to prove himself early and avoid injury to keep his starting job. Dillon is another injury-prone running back that hasn't played a full season that I can recall right off-hand. That makes Maroney a great pick-up for Champ, guaranteeing him basically all of New England's rushing points. Addai is another guy who is going to have to prove himself right out of the gate, because Dominic Rhodes may steal a lot of touches from him.
6. Naj Davenport's Poop (+196)
Ronnie Brown (9)
Willie Parker (29)
Cedric Benson (60)
Marion Barber (98)
Brown is one of the best young running backs in the league. With Ricky Williams smoking weed in Canada, Brown stands poised for a huge year behind Miami's vastly improved passing game. Parker is another guy that is going to see his touches increase by about a million. Benson is trying his best to lose his starting job in Chicago. Barber, previously mentioned, has one of the best shots in the league of dethroning a starter.
5. Fresh Legs (+177)
Brian Westbrook (18)
Deuce McAllister (36)
Thomas Jones (59)
Dominic Rhodes (64)
Baron is making quite a nice showing for himself on these rankings. First in the QB rankings and fifth in the RB rankings. Westbrook was a late-season addition last year who should see a lot of touches in Philly, because of the lack of throwing targets. The addition of Donte' Stallworth will take away some of those touches, though. McAllister will have to fight off Reggie Bush, which will be tough, as he is returning from a season-ending injury. Jones and Rhodes are both currently listed as the number two running backs on their respective teams, but they should both see a good amount of touches. Neither one will sit on the bench, though, since they both work in a platoon system.
4. Cellar Dwellars (+175)
Shaun Alexander (1)
Lamont Jordan (11)
Kevin Jones (40)
Greg Jones (123)
Well, you might as well take Greg Jones off of this list. He's done. Sorry Stem. I should probably move you down the list after that one, but I'm too lazy to switch up the list that I have prepared. The other three running backs that Stem has? Amazing. Alexander is either 1a, 1b, or 1c, depending on how you feel. He'll score about 30 times. Jordan is in an Oakland system that seems to be passing-retarded, despite having great receivers. Plus, his coach has personally said that Jordan is going to get a lot of touches. Kevin Jones is about to turn into Marshall Faulk circa 1999. Go, Mike Martz!
3. Tice's Partyboat (+146)
Edgerrin James (7)
Reuben Droughns (27)
Warrick Dunn (33)
Chris Brown (79)
James is ranked incredibly high, and probably should be, but there are questions about the offensive line in Arizona. He'll get yards, but are there enough touchdowns to go around with Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin sharing the field? Droughns is in the same boat. Last year, he recorded a ton of yards, but couldn't seem to find the end zone. Dunn should probably be bumped up after the T.J. Duckett trade. Now, not only will Dunn get more touches, he'll also be able to get some goalline touches. I hate Chris Brown. He'll get hurt by week four.
2. Madd Skillz (+125)
Larry Johnson (2)
LaDanian Tomlinson (3)
Rudi Johnson (8)
Kevan Barlow (112)
Even though Yahoo has these guys as number two solely because of Barlow, I still think this is the top team in the league, and the top running back corps in the league. L. Johnson and Tomlinson will be in the top five in all-around points this year. R. Johnson will have a great season, probably, but more and more people are saying that Chris Perry is going to see a lot more action than last year. I've even heard that his coach has told him that he wants him to eventually take over this shit. Barlow sucks balls. I don't care where he is. He won't start for very long because the Jets will realize how hard he blows. Which is real hard.
1. The Slumpbusters (+93)
Clinton Portis (5)
Steven Jackson (12)
Willis McGahee (26)
Tatum Bell (50)
Remember when McGahee's knee was dominated? That was hot shit. I watched that whole game one time just to see the injury. He's good, though. I thought about trading Bush to the Gun for McGahee and a second-round pick. Portis is hurt right now, which is going to be interesting. Will he recover in time? Will he be great when he comes back? Will T.J. Duckett steal his goal line touches? Steven Jackson is money, since running backs in St. Louis have been money since forever. Will Martz's departure hurt him? Tatum Bell is apparently hated by his coach, so that won't help. With Mike Bell and Ron Dayne on the same team, there simply aren't enough balls to go around. While Tatum is the most talented back, he's also a pussy.
That was long.
10. The Nihilist Marmot (+270)
Tiki Barber (4)
Carnell Williams (15)
Mike Anderson (116)
Mewelde Moore (135)
Wow, talk about a drop-off. Barber is one of the best running backs in the league, and whether or not he gets goal-line touches, he'll have a shit load of yards. Barring another injury, Williams should resume his impressive season. And then there is shit. Anderson has a good chance of seeing the field, since Jamal Lewis is still recovering from the trauma he suffered in jail (probably anal trauma). Moore is behind Chester Taylor, and I doubt Minnesota brought Taylor in to sit the bench.
9. Who is Ron Mexico? (+243)
Reggie Bush (34)
Chester Taylor (52)
DeShaun Foster (55)
DeAngelo Williams (102)
Reggie Bush is already the highlight of this running back crew. Despite the fact that the Saints also have Deuce McAllister, Bush could be the most talented running back to come into the NFL in a long time. He's god-damned electrifying. Taylor and Foster are both getting their first shots at starting jobs in the NFL, in Minnesota and Carolina, respectively. Carolina likes to run, and Minnesota has Brad Johnson for a quarterback. Williams is young and promising, and is a great insurance pick since Foster hasn't proven that he can stay healthy for a full season.
8. Father Abraham (+210)
Domanick Davis (23)
Jamal Lewis (48)
Fred Taylor (57)
LenDale White (82)
There are a lot of question marks in this group. Despite the fact that it ranks higher than two other squads, I have a feeling that it could end up being the worst. Davis and Taylor suck real hard at being healthy. One of them will probably break a leg and the other will probably contract SARS and die. As previously mentioned, Lewis' anus has still not recovered. At least, I don't think it has. White's not a starter yet, but Chris Brown is the one ahead of him, and he's just a fragile as the rest of this team.
7. Champeons (+199)
Julius Jones (24)
Corey Dillon (41)
Joseph Addai (56)
Laurence Maroney (78)
Champ is set up real nice for the future. I'm skeptical, though, as to how this team will work out this year. Jones has the problem of having one of the better backups in the league (Marion Barber). He'll have to prove himself early and avoid injury to keep his starting job. Dillon is another injury-prone running back that hasn't played a full season that I can recall right off-hand. That makes Maroney a great pick-up for Champ, guaranteeing him basically all of New England's rushing points. Addai is another guy who is going to have to prove himself right out of the gate, because Dominic Rhodes may steal a lot of touches from him.
6. Naj Davenport's Poop (+196)
Ronnie Brown (9)
Willie Parker (29)
Cedric Benson (60)
Marion Barber (98)
Brown is one of the best young running backs in the league. With Ricky Williams smoking weed in Canada, Brown stands poised for a huge year behind Miami's vastly improved passing game. Parker is another guy that is going to see his touches increase by about a million. Benson is trying his best to lose his starting job in Chicago. Barber, previously mentioned, has one of the best shots in the league of dethroning a starter.
5. Fresh Legs (+177)
Brian Westbrook (18)
Deuce McAllister (36)
Thomas Jones (59)
Dominic Rhodes (64)
Baron is making quite a nice showing for himself on these rankings. First in the QB rankings and fifth in the RB rankings. Westbrook was a late-season addition last year who should see a lot of touches in Philly, because of the lack of throwing targets. The addition of Donte' Stallworth will take away some of those touches, though. McAllister will have to fight off Reggie Bush, which will be tough, as he is returning from a season-ending injury. Jones and Rhodes are both currently listed as the number two running backs on their respective teams, but they should both see a good amount of touches. Neither one will sit on the bench, though, since they both work in a platoon system.
4. Cellar Dwellars (+175)
Shaun Alexander (1)
Lamont Jordan (11)
Kevin Jones (40)
Greg Jones (123)
Well, you might as well take Greg Jones off of this list. He's done. Sorry Stem. I should probably move you down the list after that one, but I'm too lazy to switch up the list that I have prepared. The other three running backs that Stem has? Amazing. Alexander is either 1a, 1b, or 1c, depending on how you feel. He'll score about 30 times. Jordan is in an Oakland system that seems to be passing-retarded, despite having great receivers. Plus, his coach has personally said that Jordan is going to get a lot of touches. Kevin Jones is about to turn into Marshall Faulk circa 1999. Go, Mike Martz!
3. Tice's Partyboat (+146)
Edgerrin James (7)
Reuben Droughns (27)
Warrick Dunn (33)
Chris Brown (79)
James is ranked incredibly high, and probably should be, but there are questions about the offensive line in Arizona. He'll get yards, but are there enough touchdowns to go around with Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin sharing the field? Droughns is in the same boat. Last year, he recorded a ton of yards, but couldn't seem to find the end zone. Dunn should probably be bumped up after the T.J. Duckett trade. Now, not only will Dunn get more touches, he'll also be able to get some goalline touches. I hate Chris Brown. He'll get hurt by week four.
2. Madd Skillz (+125)
Larry Johnson (2)
LaDanian Tomlinson (3)
Rudi Johnson (8)
Kevan Barlow (112)
Even though Yahoo has these guys as number two solely because of Barlow, I still think this is the top team in the league, and the top running back corps in the league. L. Johnson and Tomlinson will be in the top five in all-around points this year. R. Johnson will have a great season, probably, but more and more people are saying that Chris Perry is going to see a lot more action than last year. I've even heard that his coach has told him that he wants him to eventually take over this shit. Barlow sucks balls. I don't care where he is. He won't start for very long because the Jets will realize how hard he blows. Which is real hard.
1. The Slumpbusters (+93)
Clinton Portis (5)
Steven Jackson (12)
Willis McGahee (26)
Tatum Bell (50)
Remember when McGahee's knee was dominated? That was hot shit. I watched that whole game one time just to see the injury. He's good, though. I thought about trading Bush to the Gun for McGahee and a second-round pick. Portis is hurt right now, which is going to be interesting. Will he recover in time? Will he be great when he comes back? Will T.J. Duckett steal his goal line touches? Steven Jackson is money, since running backs in St. Louis have been money since forever. Will Martz's departure hurt him? Tatum Bell is apparently hated by his coach, so that won't help. With Mike Bell and Ron Dayne on the same team, there simply aren't enough balls to go around. While Tatum is the most talented back, he's also a pussy.
That was long.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Quarterback Ratings
So, the K Drive is down at Saginaw Valley, so I can't really do any work. So, I'm going to put up the rankings for teams' top two quarterbacks. These aren't going to be my rankings, but Yahoo's.
10. Champeons (+211)
Daunte Culpepper (58)
Steve McNair (153)
This is a tough ranking for Champ. Culpepper has been looking good in the preseason, and Steve McNair has the weapons to succeed in Baltimore. The pressure won't be on him, and he already has a rapport with Derrick Mason. Still, according to Yahoo, Champ has the worst quarterback tandem in the league.
9. Cellar Dwellars (+204)
Tom Brady (31)
Jon Kitna (173)
Stem suffers quite a bit from having Jon Kitna on his team. While I feel that he'll be a lot better than Yahoo predicts him to be. Then again, you can't spell Kitna with I-N-T. I also feel that Tom Brady won't be as good as he's predicted to be (3rd QB in the league), since he doesn't have any receivers at the present time.
T-7. Nihilist Marmot (+161)
Kurt Warner (74)
Brett Favre (87)
J.R. has the two starting quarterbacks that are closest in ranking. He loses out in the tie because the team he is tied with has a QB with a better ranking. I have doubts that Kurt Warner can stay healthy, and Brett Favre is like 52.
T-7. Tice's Partyboat (+161)
Trent Green (68)
Drew Brees (93)
Despite keeping Brees, Green comes into the season as a higher-rated Yahoo QB. But seriously... the two best receivers these guys have to throw to are Donte' Stallworth and Eddie Kennison. Despite the fact that Champ absolutely loves Kennison, I'm not sold. They are going to have to utilize tight ends (Tony Gonzalez) and running backs (Reggie Bush) to be a big force.
6. The Slumpbusters (+143)
Marc Bulger (49)
Mike Vick (94)
The Rams will always throw the football. Although they don't have Mike Martz anymore, they still have Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, and Kevin Curtis. That is a good arsenal. And in a league where running counts for so much, I know personally that Vick can win or lose a game for you every week.
5. Father Abraham (+127)
Donovan McNabb (44)
Ben Roethlisberger (83)
Personally, both of these guys are ranked way too high. McNabb has absolutely no one to throw the ball to. Reggie Brown as a top receiver? The Eagles are in trouble offensively, especially if Brian Westbrook goes down. And although Roethlisberger has all kinds of people to throw to, we all know that the Steelers love running the football. We'll see what happens.
4. Naj Davenport's Poop (+120)
Peyton Manning (6)
Byron Leftwich (114)
Peyton Manning is by far the highest-ranked quarterback in the league, 24 points ahead of anyone else. Plus, with the loss of Edge and the preseason struggles of Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai, it looks like the Colts are going to have to throw more than last year. Leftwich is a solid backup, but the Jaguars have receiver troubles like some other teams. Ernest Wilford has established himself as the go-to guy, but Matt Jones and company will have to step up as secondary receivers.
3. Who is Ron Mexico? (+119)
Eli Manning (35)
Jake Plummer (84)
Eli Manning has the most targets of anyone to throw the ball to. With a plethora of receivers and a great tight end, there are no excuses for Manning if he doesn't succeed this year. And I'm banking on him to succeed. The Snake has a really sweet moustache.
2. Madd Skillz (+116)
Matt Hasselbeck (39)
Drew Bledsoe (77)
Drew Bledsoe could end up being a better fantasy quarterback than Hasselbeck, Tim or Matt. I think Tim Hasselbeck is still in the league, at least. If T.O. plays a significant amount of time, he could form one of the better tandems in the league, along with Terry Glenn. Jason Witten gives him a good safety valve, as well. Shaun Alexander will get the ball a fuck-ton in Seattle, and the 'Hawks just don't have a dominant receiver, although they have a few good ones.
1. Fresh Legs (+102)
Carson Palmer (30)
Jake Delhomme (72)
How will Palmer return from his injury? Although a lot of his success will depend on his ability to stay healthy and his teammates' ability to stay out of jail, he's a great first option. Chad Johnson is good at football. Also, Jake Delhomme is a great secondary quarterback, and could be a starter on a lot of other teams. Steve Smith and Keyshawn Johnson are pretty good receivers to throw to.
That's it. Baron's real gay.
10. Champeons (+211)
Daunte Culpepper (58)
Steve McNair (153)
This is a tough ranking for Champ. Culpepper has been looking good in the preseason, and Steve McNair has the weapons to succeed in Baltimore. The pressure won't be on him, and he already has a rapport with Derrick Mason. Still, according to Yahoo, Champ has the worst quarterback tandem in the league.
9. Cellar Dwellars (+204)
Tom Brady (31)
Jon Kitna (173)
Stem suffers quite a bit from having Jon Kitna on his team. While I feel that he'll be a lot better than Yahoo predicts him to be. Then again, you can't spell Kitna with I-N-T. I also feel that Tom Brady won't be as good as he's predicted to be (3rd QB in the league), since he doesn't have any receivers at the present time.
T-7. Nihilist Marmot (+161)
Kurt Warner (74)
Brett Favre (87)
J.R. has the two starting quarterbacks that are closest in ranking. He loses out in the tie because the team he is tied with has a QB with a better ranking. I have doubts that Kurt Warner can stay healthy, and Brett Favre is like 52.
T-7. Tice's Partyboat (+161)
Trent Green (68)
Drew Brees (93)
Despite keeping Brees, Green comes into the season as a higher-rated Yahoo QB. But seriously... the two best receivers these guys have to throw to are Donte' Stallworth and Eddie Kennison. Despite the fact that Champ absolutely loves Kennison, I'm not sold. They are going to have to utilize tight ends (Tony Gonzalez) and running backs (Reggie Bush) to be a big force.
6. The Slumpbusters (+143)
Marc Bulger (49)
Mike Vick (94)
The Rams will always throw the football. Although they don't have Mike Martz anymore, they still have Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, and Kevin Curtis. That is a good arsenal. And in a league where running counts for so much, I know personally that Vick can win or lose a game for you every week.
5. Father Abraham (+127)
Donovan McNabb (44)
Ben Roethlisberger (83)
Personally, both of these guys are ranked way too high. McNabb has absolutely no one to throw the ball to. Reggie Brown as a top receiver? The Eagles are in trouble offensively, especially if Brian Westbrook goes down. And although Roethlisberger has all kinds of people to throw to, we all know that the Steelers love running the football. We'll see what happens.
4. Naj Davenport's Poop (+120)
Peyton Manning (6)
Byron Leftwich (114)
Peyton Manning is by far the highest-ranked quarterback in the league, 24 points ahead of anyone else. Plus, with the loss of Edge and the preseason struggles of Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai, it looks like the Colts are going to have to throw more than last year. Leftwich is a solid backup, but the Jaguars have receiver troubles like some other teams. Ernest Wilford has established himself as the go-to guy, but Matt Jones and company will have to step up as secondary receivers.
3. Who is Ron Mexico? (+119)
Eli Manning (35)
Jake Plummer (84)
Eli Manning has the most targets of anyone to throw the ball to. With a plethora of receivers and a great tight end, there are no excuses for Manning if he doesn't succeed this year. And I'm banking on him to succeed. The Snake has a really sweet moustache.
2. Madd Skillz (+116)
Matt Hasselbeck (39)
Drew Bledsoe (77)
Drew Bledsoe could end up being a better fantasy quarterback than Hasselbeck, Tim or Matt. I think Tim Hasselbeck is still in the league, at least. If T.O. plays a significant amount of time, he could form one of the better tandems in the league, along with Terry Glenn. Jason Witten gives him a good safety valve, as well. Shaun Alexander will get the ball a fuck-ton in Seattle, and the 'Hawks just don't have a dominant receiver, although they have a few good ones.
1. Fresh Legs (+102)
Carson Palmer (30)
Jake Delhomme (72)
How will Palmer return from his injury? Although a lot of his success will depend on his ability to stay healthy and his teammates' ability to stay out of jail, he's a great first option. Chad Johnson is good at football. Also, Jake Delhomme is a great secondary quarterback, and could be a starter on a lot of other teams. Steve Smith and Keyshawn Johnson are pretty good receivers to throw to.
That's it. Baron's real gay.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Jeepers keepers!
Hey there you holy bitches. I'm back, my face is ten times the size of God and I've been released from sexual addiction therapy -- which does not work -- and I'm here to give you some pre-draft analysis. You've all decided upon your keepers and are now just patiently sitting around waiting for the draft (except for Ed, who hasn't slept in 154 hours and recently got his cheatsheet tatooed upside down on his stomach so he can read it at all times and memorize it in order to speed the draft process so that he can get to work by 9:30 central time, which is six hours after the draft starts and if the draft actually takes that long I'm going to shove my beak up his ass). Here are my thoughts on your prized lovelies.
Ed Schillinger
LaDanian Tomlinson
Larry Johnson
Rudi Johnson
Chad Johnson
Steve Smith
Analysis: Jeezums balls. How did anyone allow this to happen? You let the commish retain two of the top three running backs and two of the top three wide receivers? Wait ... what? AND you allowed him to trade for the third pick in the draft? And retain the No. 10 pick?!?! Well, I hope all of you fairies enjoy looking up at an owner who has 1,200 points by Week 9. My advice is to pray for the Chargers and Chiefs' team jets to collide over Cincinnati and have the wreckage fall on the Bengals' practice facility.
* * *
Drew Wolf
Drew Brees
Edgerrin James
Warrick Dunn
Ruben Droughns
Randy Moss
Analysis: Well, this is a tough nut to crack. Most of these players have question marks hanging over their heads. Hanging like mistletoe. I'm wearing mistletoe on my zipper right now. Anyway, it's hard to know what Brees, Edge and Moss will do. If they all hit their upside, coupled with Warrick Dunn's increased role in Atlanta, this could be the best non-Ed team in the league.
* * *
Baron Brendel
Carson Palmer
Brian Westbrook
Duece McAllister
Thomas Jones
Chris Chambers
Analysis: This team is boo-boo prone. But if Baron has a good draft and Carson Palmer survives the wreckage of the plane falling on Cincinnati, this team could absolutely be playoff bound. He's going to need plenty of running back insurance, which might be tough to find after surrendering his first-round pick.
* * *
Eli Gieryna
Tiki Barber
Clinton Portis
Steven Jackson
Willis McGahee
Torry Holt
Analysis: Rumor has it that Barber will be replaced by Marc Bulger and an extra first rounder. That plan seemed great until Clinton Portis roughed up his shoulder. Also, can I just say that if I could experiment sexually with any NFL player, it would be Clinton Portis? I'd make him wear that 18th-century wig and sunglasses, though. Sooooo, yeah, this team's fortunes will greatly depend on how quickly Portis comes back, and how much goal-line work Duckett steals. And making sure that the Rams stay alive.
* * *
JR Radcliffe
Marc Bulger
Carnell Williams
Marvin Harrison
Reggie Wayne
Tony Gonzalez
Analysis: On the surface, the keepers don't seem terribly impressive, but we all know JR will accumulate 382 total points and make the playoffs, so it doesn't matter.
* * *
Lincoln Souzek
Donovan McNabb
Anquan Boldin
Jamal Lewis
Joe Horn
Jason Witten
Analysis: The good: I think Anquan Boldin has a chance to be the top fantasy WR this year. The bad: Donovan McNabb has no one to throw to, Joe Horn is old, Jamal Lewis is broken down, Jason Witten is a middling tight end and my balls haven't stopped itching since I visited Panama.
* * *
Andrew Stem
Shaun Alexander
LaMont Jordan
Kevin Jones
Larry Fitzgerald
Plaxico Burress
Analysis: I was pleased to see Stem didn't keep that ADD-ridden bastard Delhomme this year. He'll be able to upgrade at QB in the first round, and if he gets good value there, he'll have a great shot at the playoffs. How Kevin Jones performs may mean the difference betwene finishing second and finishing fourth, however.
* * *
Dave Tomke
Eli Manning
Chester Taylor
DeShaun Foster
Braylon Edwards
Michael Clayton
Analysis: I think Chester Taylor has an opportunity to be the best NFL running back ever named after a Brendon Frasier character.
* * *
Andy Viano
Peyton Manning
Ronnie Brown
Willie Parker
Hines Ward
Todd Heap
Analysis: This is a very solid group; Ronnie Brown and Willie Parker are poised to have huge upswings in production this year, since they will likely get more touches than uhhhh ... shit, I got nothing. Manning will probably reclaim his top QB status since the Colts will have to throw more. Adding another quality running back early could make this team very dangerous.
* * *
Brent Whitlock
Daunte Culpepper
Julius Jones
Frank Gore
Terrell Owens
Andre Johnson
Analysis: Oh sure, we all ripped on Champ for keeping Frank Gore. Naturally, Kevan Barlow was traded away and Gore is now going to get 25 carries a game in an improving offense. We're sorry, man. Champ doesn't have a great football history, but he has several intriguing players who, if they come together properly, could vault him into the playoffs. As an aside, this will be the worst locker room in the VUFSA. You'll have TO's pouting, Daunte's sex-ridden activities and Frank Gore's IQ of 67 ruling the roost.
I'll be spending my time there.
Happy drafting, you scurves.
Monday, August 21, 2006
A poll?
Chances are, I'm going to take Reggie Bush first overall in the NFL Draft. If you were me, though, what would you do:
A) Take Reggie Bush.
B) Take Domanick Davis.
C) Take Antonio Gates.
D) Take Roy Williams.
E) Try to trade the pick.
Also, feel free to proposition me. Both sexually and for the pick.
A) Take Reggie Bush.
B) Take Domanick Davis.
C) Take Antonio Gates.
D) Take Roy Williams.
E) Try to trade the pick.
Also, feel free to proposition me. Both sexually and for the pick.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
This is a horrible idea
I am at work, and I cannot stop reading Fire Joe Morgan.
God dammit, this is hilarious. I am having to force myself from laughing out loud. I hate all of you, mainly J.R. and The Gun, I think, for introducing it to me on here. Here's my favorite part:
I've seen Three-Finger Brown shove his whole arm up Honus Wagner's ass when Wagner didn't run out a groundball -- in a goddamn exhibition game!!!! So don't you go telling me about computers!!!!!!!!!!!! Or books!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how they are "good"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, the fact that Joe Morgan continually says he doesn't watch teams or read books. Comedic gold.
God dammit, this is hilarious. I am having to force myself from laughing out loud. I hate all of you, mainly J.R. and The Gun, I think, for introducing it to me on here. Here's my favorite part:
I've seen Three-Finger Brown shove his whole arm up Honus Wagner's ass when Wagner didn't run out a groundball -- in a goddamn exhibition game!!!! So don't you go telling me about computers!!!!!!!!!!!! Or books!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how they are "good"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, the fact that Joe Morgan continually says he doesn't watch teams or read books. Comedic gold.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Keeper Musings
I'm bored as hell and I don't know how else to cope with the aptly named one's departure from VU Athletics.
-5 teams have multiple players from one NFL Franchise
-Only 4 first round draft picks from last season are keepers this year; only 3 for the team that drafted them
-13 of the 50 keepers are with their original franchise without ever leaving. (L. Tomlinson, R. Johnson, D. Brees, E. James, S. Jackson, W. McGahee, M. Harrison, T. Gonzalez, D. McNabb, J. Lewis, S. Alexander, K. Jones, P. Manning)
-Ed, Eli and Lincoln are the only teams with 3 repeat keepers
-Viano and Champ are the only charter franchises with one repeat keeper
-Marc Bulger is one of his official keepers, though may never play a down for JR
-Eli drafted Stephen Jackson and Willis McGahee in rounds 15 and 17, resp. of the inaugural draft
-Baron is the only owner to keep both a player he traded for, as well as the player he gave up for said player.
-Baron has 3 players coming off of season-ending injuries
-Tomke is the only owner to keep 5 players that he did not draft (edit: Champ did not draft any of his current keepers either)
-Ed is the only owner to have all 5 keepers play for his squad during both the 2004 and 2005 campaigns
-Drew's team is the only team that does not have a player that is on his original NFL team
-Stem's 2005 redraft netted 3 keepers; the most of all 10 franchises
-Willie Parker and Eli Manning are the only keepers never to have been drafted
-Viano is the only owner to have all his keepers come from one conference (AFC)
-The only two players not kept from the 1st round of our first draft were once traded for one another (Priest Holmes and Ahman Green)
Keepers by draft position (redrafts count in 2005):
2004 1st: 6 (of 8)
2004 2nd: 6
2004 3rd: 3
2004 4th: 3
2004 5th: 1
2004 6th: 1
2004 7th: 2
2004 8th: 1 (excludes expansion draft)
2004 9th: 1
2004 15th: 1
2004 17th: 1
2005 1st: 5 (counts supp rd)
2005 2nd: 3 (of 10)
2005 3rd: 4
2005 4th: 1
2005 5th: 2
2005 7th: 1
2005 8th: 2
2005 Supp 1st: 1
-5 teams have multiple players from one NFL Franchise
-Only 4 first round draft picks from last season are keepers this year; only 3 for the team that drafted them
-13 of the 50 keepers are with their original franchise without ever leaving. (L. Tomlinson, R. Johnson, D. Brees, E. James, S. Jackson, W. McGahee, M. Harrison, T. Gonzalez, D. McNabb, J. Lewis, S. Alexander, K. Jones, P. Manning)
-Ed, Eli and Lincoln are the only teams with 3 repeat keepers
-Viano and Champ are the only charter franchises with one repeat keeper
-Marc Bulger is one of his official keepers, though may never play a down for JR
-Eli drafted Stephen Jackson and Willis McGahee in rounds 15 and 17, resp. of the inaugural draft
-Baron is the only owner to keep both a player he traded for, as well as the player he gave up for said player.
-Baron has 3 players coming off of season-ending injuries
-Tomke is the only owner to keep 5 players that he did not draft (edit: Champ did not draft any of his current keepers either)
-Ed is the only owner to have all 5 keepers play for his squad during both the 2004 and 2005 campaigns
-Drew's team is the only team that does not have a player that is on his original NFL team
-Stem's 2005 redraft netted 3 keepers; the most of all 10 franchises
-Willie Parker and Eli Manning are the only keepers never to have been drafted
-Viano is the only owner to have all his keepers come from one conference (AFC)
-The only two players not kept from the 1st round of our first draft were once traded for one another (Priest Holmes and Ahman Green)
Keepers by draft position (redrafts count in 2005):
2004 1st: 6 (of 8)
2004 2nd: 6
2004 3rd: 3
2004 4th: 3
2004 5th: 1
2004 6th: 1
2004 7th: 2
2004 8th: 1 (excludes expansion draft)
2004 9th: 1
2004 15th: 1
2004 17th: 1
2005 1st: 5 (counts supp rd)
2005 2nd: 3 (of 10)
2005 3rd: 4
2005 4th: 1
2005 5th: 2
2005 7th: 1
2005 8th: 2
2005 Supp 1st: 1
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Keepage
Discuss?
Ed Schillinger
LaDanian Tomlinson
Larry Johnson
Rudi Johnson
Chad Johnson
Steve Smith
Drew Wolf
Drew Brees
Edgerrin James
Warrick Dunn
Ruben Droughns
Randy Moss
Baron Brendel
Carson Palmer
Brian Westbrook
Duece McAllister
Thomas Jones
Chris Chambers
Eli Gieryna
Tiki Barber
Clinton Portis
Steven Jackson
Willis McGahee
Torry Holt
JR Radcliffe
Marc Bulger
Carnell Williams
Marvin Harrison
Reggie Wayne
Tony Gonzalez
Lincoln Souzek
Donovan McNabb
Anquan Boldin
Jamal Lewis
Joe Horn
Jason Witten
Andrew Stem
Shaun Alexander
LaMont Jordan
Kevin Jones
Larry Fitzgerald
Plaxico Burress
Dave Tomke
Eli Manning
Chester Taylor
DeShaun Foster
Braylon Edwards
Michael Clayton
Andy Viano
Peyton Manning
Ronnie Brown
Willie Parker
Hines Ward
Todd Heap
Brent Whitlock
Daunte Culpepper
Julius Jones
Frank Gore
Terrell Owens
Andre Johnson
Ed Schillinger
LaDanian Tomlinson
Larry Johnson
Rudi Johnson
Chad Johnson
Steve Smith
Drew Wolf
Drew Brees
Edgerrin James
Warrick Dunn
Ruben Droughns
Randy Moss
Baron Brendel
Carson Palmer
Brian Westbrook
Duece McAllister
Thomas Jones
Chris Chambers
Eli Gieryna
Tiki Barber
Clinton Portis
Steven Jackson
Willis McGahee
Torry Holt
JR Radcliffe
Marc Bulger
Carnell Williams
Marvin Harrison
Reggie Wayne
Tony Gonzalez
Lincoln Souzek
Donovan McNabb
Anquan Boldin
Jamal Lewis
Joe Horn
Jason Witten
Andrew Stem
Shaun Alexander
LaMont Jordan
Kevin Jones
Larry Fitzgerald
Plaxico Burress
Dave Tomke
Eli Manning
Chester Taylor
DeShaun Foster
Braylon Edwards
Michael Clayton
Andy Viano
Peyton Manning
Ronnie Brown
Willie Parker
Hines Ward
Todd Heap
Brent Whitlock
Daunte Culpepper
Julius Jones
Frank Gore
Terrell Owens
Andre Johnson
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Baseball's Worst Keepers
After seeing Jason Varitek dropped and Mark Prior drop to 0-5, I felt it was time to revisit the biggest kept disappointments from the 2006 season (so far).
10. Felix Hernandez (Jaque Itch)
-The phenom was tantalizing at the end of last year, the the thought that he may be the best pitcher in MLB for about 15 years was entertained by all. Keeping him wasn't a tremendous mistake, but exposing Jason Bay instead of the 20 year old with a 4.60 ERA was.
9. Randy Johnson (Sultans of Suds)
-I know it seems like I've used the big unit as a whipping boy all season, but big deal. He's on here because his numbers took a considerable drop from 2004-2005, and are completely falling off this year. His age has a lot to do with it, as it has to do with his 5.07 ERA. He's got a nice Yahoo ranking because he wins a lot of games (11) on a team that scores a lot of runs, and strikes out hitters. Make no mistake though, Johnson is far from the elite pitcher he was.
8. Jon Garland (Father Abraham)
-In a similar situation as Johnson. On any lesser team, a 5.01 ERA and 1.41 WHIP (with 66K in 129 IP) doesn't yield 11 wins. Garland's 18 win, 3.50-1.14 season from a year ago was tough to believe while it was happening, and even harder to digest it would happen again. Still, with his age, it was a worthy gamble to try and let lighting strike twice- it just didn't.
7. Todd Helton (Cellar Dwellers)
-Like Johson, age has not been kind to the former fantasy superstar. While the OBA is delightful, the 11 HR and 51 RBI are unacceptable from a corner infielder in Coors Field.
6. Bartolo Colon (ELENI KAMETAS)
-1 Win, 5.11 ERA in 56 IP. Plus, he's fat and looks like he smells really bad.
5. Barry Bonds (Cellar Dwellers)
-He's old, like a few guys on the list. Ranked 329th by Yahoo, his RBI numbers are dismal, and he has hit fewer homers than the recently demoted Chris Shelton. He isn't even a guarantee to take the field every day. His fantasy relevance is over, as even a DHing season won't produce worthy numbers.
4. Rich Harden/Ben Sheets (Tadano's Fluffer)
-These two amazing talents were unquestioned as keeper-worthy, but we're in August now, and here are their combined numbers: 70.1 IP, 5 wins.
3. Jason Varitek (Father Abraham)
-Varitek is a fine real-life option, but in fantasyland- all catchers (sans Joe Mauer) are stinky. Catchers with 11 HR and 50 RBI on one of baseball's best offenses are interchangeable and expendable. Varitek was waived today.
2. Mike Sweeney (ChamPeons)
-Everyone's "huh?" keeper from April is ranked 1168th after batting only 68 times and doing nothing in any of them.
1. Mark Prior (Hank White Bandwagon)
-Not only was the very effeminate Prior kept despite his constantly unhealthy health situation, but he was protected instead of...Carlos Beltran. Beltran disappeared during the expansion draft, and Prior disappeared until June, where he came off the DL roaring, compiling an 0-5 record with a 7.20 ERA. 720 is also WGN-AM's frequency, proving once again the Cubs will do anything for cheap advertising. Simply put: Mark Prior is a tender little girl who can't stay healthy or get hitters out, and the only bobblehead I own makes me cry each morning.
Honorable Mentions:
-Mark Teixeira/Michael Young (Hank White Bandwagon): These Ranger's slow starts put HWB in a steep hole
-Mark Mulder (ELENI KAMETAS): His ERA is above 6.
-Tim Hudson (Cellar Dwellers): 5.25/1.48. Does Billy Beane know what he's doing, or what?
-Mark Buehrle/Cliff Lee (ChamPeons): The left-hander's contribution to CHM has been negligible.
-Eric Gagne (ChamPeons): I'm 100% sure that Eric Gagne was a steriod user. A mediocre starter becomes an insanely dominant closer overnight, then can't get healthy for more than 10 games in a row? Guilty.
-Jhonny Peralta (Tadano's Fluffer): Mediocre numbers wonder what made him one of our top 50 players.
-Jake Peavy (Jaque Itch): 5 wins, 5.01 ERA. Strikes out a lot of men and all, but we expected more.
10. Felix Hernandez (Jaque Itch)
-The phenom was tantalizing at the end of last year, the the thought that he may be the best pitcher in MLB for about 15 years was entertained by all. Keeping him wasn't a tremendous mistake, but exposing Jason Bay instead of the 20 year old with a 4.60 ERA was.
9. Randy Johnson (Sultans of Suds)
-I know it seems like I've used the big unit as a whipping boy all season, but big deal. He's on here because his numbers took a considerable drop from 2004-2005, and are completely falling off this year. His age has a lot to do with it, as it has to do with his 5.07 ERA. He's got a nice Yahoo ranking because he wins a lot of games (11) on a team that scores a lot of runs, and strikes out hitters. Make no mistake though, Johnson is far from the elite pitcher he was.
8. Jon Garland (Father Abraham)
-In a similar situation as Johnson. On any lesser team, a 5.01 ERA and 1.41 WHIP (with 66K in 129 IP) doesn't yield 11 wins. Garland's 18 win, 3.50-1.14 season from a year ago was tough to believe while it was happening, and even harder to digest it would happen again. Still, with his age, it was a worthy gamble to try and let lighting strike twice- it just didn't.
7. Todd Helton (Cellar Dwellers)
-Like Johson, age has not been kind to the former fantasy superstar. While the OBA is delightful, the 11 HR and 51 RBI are unacceptable from a corner infielder in Coors Field.
6. Bartolo Colon (ELENI KAMETAS)
-1 Win, 5.11 ERA in 56 IP. Plus, he's fat and looks like he smells really bad.
5. Barry Bonds (Cellar Dwellers)
-He's old, like a few guys on the list. Ranked 329th by Yahoo, his RBI numbers are dismal, and he has hit fewer homers than the recently demoted Chris Shelton. He isn't even a guarantee to take the field every day. His fantasy relevance is over, as even a DHing season won't produce worthy numbers.
4. Rich Harden/Ben Sheets (Tadano's Fluffer)
-These two amazing talents were unquestioned as keeper-worthy, but we're in August now, and here are their combined numbers: 70.1 IP, 5 wins.
3. Jason Varitek (Father Abraham)
-Varitek is a fine real-life option, but in fantasyland- all catchers (sans Joe Mauer) are stinky. Catchers with 11 HR and 50 RBI on one of baseball's best offenses are interchangeable and expendable. Varitek was waived today.
2. Mike Sweeney (ChamPeons)
-Everyone's "huh?" keeper from April is ranked 1168th after batting only 68 times and doing nothing in any of them.
1. Mark Prior (Hank White Bandwagon)
-Not only was the very effeminate Prior kept despite his constantly unhealthy health situation, but he was protected instead of...Carlos Beltran. Beltran disappeared during the expansion draft, and Prior disappeared until June, where he came off the DL roaring, compiling an 0-5 record with a 7.20 ERA. 720 is also WGN-AM's frequency, proving once again the Cubs will do anything for cheap advertising. Simply put: Mark Prior is a tender little girl who can't stay healthy or get hitters out, and the only bobblehead I own makes me cry each morning.
Honorable Mentions:
-Mark Teixeira/Michael Young (Hank White Bandwagon): These Ranger's slow starts put HWB in a steep hole
-Mark Mulder (ELENI KAMETAS): His ERA is above 6.
-Tim Hudson (Cellar Dwellers): 5.25/1.48. Does Billy Beane know what he's doing, or what?
-Mark Buehrle/Cliff Lee (ChamPeons): The left-hander's contribution to CHM has been negligible.
-Eric Gagne (ChamPeons): I'm 100% sure that Eric Gagne was a steriod user. A mediocre starter becomes an insanely dominant closer overnight, then can't get healthy for more than 10 games in a row? Guilty.
-Jhonny Peralta (Tadano's Fluffer): Mediocre numbers wonder what made him one of our top 50 players.
-Jake Peavy (Jaque Itch): 5 wins, 5.01 ERA. Strikes out a lot of men and all, but we expected more.
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