Though the league is perfectly symetrical- that has no bearing on the rankings, which gets a big shakeup this week. We'll also start tracking the only moneyballesque stat that I could conjure up for this league: Expected Win Total (EWT). Unlike Moneyball, however, this stat does not portend the future, it merely fixes the past. EWT is just a the number of times that a team has finished with a score good enough to finish in the top half of the league that week.
Rank. Team (record) Previous Rank: (Change)
1. Madd Skillz (3-0) Last Week: 1st (-)
-One of two undefeateds and has the highest cumulative score through three games. Will stay here a while if the Chargers give LDT the looks they gave him on Sunday. EWT: 3
2. Cellar Dwellars (3-0) LW: 2nd (-)
-Overcame two pretty significant byes to hand The Octagon their first loss of the year. Point total does trail some lower teams, but the difference isn't immense, and this team can pride itself on a consistent effort- with rising point totals- every week. EWT: 3
3. Sex Panther (1-2) LW: t-7th (+4)
-Sets a post expansion record for high score (week) with a monster output. Will have a tough game against a desperate Blaine Browns team, but this team is still frightening. EWT: 1
4. Champeons (2-1) LW: 5th (+1)
-Sits as the #3 seed after a thunderous win over Fred Lane's Wife. Win was pretty huge for a Champeons club that is riding the Cowboys as far as they can. Can leapfrog CD with a head to head win next week. EWT: 2
5. The Octagon (2-1) LW: 3rd (-2)
-Their loss this week was more impressive than either of their wins. The points say I should drop them to around 7, but with two wins under their belt, and Brian Westbrook on board, this team is better than 7th. EWT: 0
6. Fred Lane's Wife (1-2) LW: 4th (-2)
-Tough loss this week for a team that is still awfully tough. Originally penciled in for 5th this week, but won't go much higher until Peyton Manning starts blowing teams out again. EWT: 1
7. Father Abraham (2-1) LW: 6th (-1)
-How can I drop a team after a win? Well, it really wasn't an impressive win. Other than that, I don't see them any differently in relation to the teams that were ahead of them last week, but one of the teams that was behind them made a statement. Hence, the one point drop. This will all be forgotten if they can knock off FLW next week. EWT: 1
8. Blaine Browns (0-3) LW: t-7th (-1)
-Hardest team to rank. Still haven't won, but the EWT will show that's not their fault. Just horrific luck through the first three games, and it's got to get better from here. They play SP next week. Shoot. Well, after that it's got to get better. EWT: 3
9. Ken's Anal Adventure (1-2) LW: 9th (-)
-Big letdown after biggest win in franchise history. Still in good shape to put a few more tallies in the win column, but could have hit their high point in week 2. Big time bragging rights at stake next week. EWT: 1
10. Big Fat Guys (0-3) LW: 10th (-)
-Put up best week so far (by a good margin). Cumulative point total is positive, just 18 behind JR, and 30 ahead of KAA. Best shot for their first win comes this week against KAA. EWT: 0
Did we learn anything from my ridiculously simple stat? Well, we learned that the standings reflect the performance of the league pretty accurately, except for Drew and JR- who in theory should be undefeated and winless, respectively. Lincoln has also stolen a game from Drew.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Just to throw it out there...
-TJ HousmanihateJR has more rushing touchdowns than Curtis Martin, Warrick Dunn, Dominick Davis, Kevin Jones, and Clinton Portis.
-Drew Bledsoe and Kerry Collins have combined to throw for 1,723 yards, 8 TDs, and 2 INTs.
-Peyton Manning and Daunte Culpepper have combined to throw for 1,373 yards, 5 TDs, 10 INTs.
-Joe Horn caught 1 pass for 11 yards after averaging 7 catches for 104 yards the previous two weeks. The 1 for 11? Against “Mindfreak” Mike Tice’s Vikings.
-Eagles TE L.J. Smith has caught three more passes for 74 more yards and 1 more touchdown than Tony Gonzalez. And has sat on the bench behind Gonzalez for each of the three weeks this year in VUFSA.
-The only two “position” players that started for Ken’s Anal Adventure in week one that are still starting in week four? Brandon Stokley and Marcel Shipp.
-All three of Big Fat Guys’ starting wide receivers came from the Big Ten. And his flex receiver came from
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
VUFSA: Week Three
I’m too lazy to look it up, but I’m positive this is the highest scoring week in VUFSA history.
Eight of the ten teams in the league were over 100 points and two squads busted out for massive totals.
John Clayton is visiting Fred Lane’s wife in prison this weekend, so he won’t be here this week for a recap. Come to think of it ... there’s a good chance he won’t be here next week either.
On to this week’s HGH-fueled scoring.
==========
Madd Skillz: 159.75 points
Blaine Browns: 115.25 points
Madd Skillz (3-0): About the only thing that went wrong for Skillz this week is that Larry Johnson actually lost points on Monday night when the team was poised to make a run at the VUFSA record for points. But this is fantasy football –- we’re not concerned with personal stats. Anyway, Ed gets a win largely behind LDT’s absolutely profane week. I’m not going to bother recapping what he did, just go look it up for yourself. Steve Smith was equally ridiculous (28.50 points) and Fred Taylor’s knees carried the ball 37 times to put up 15 points. Skillz remains undefeated and more importantly, makes an intimidating statement to every other owner in the league with this showing.
Best move: Not that it was a gigantic risk, but drafting Smith off an injury has proven to be a great move. The comeback receiver looks headed for 1,200 yards and a 15-touchdown season.
Worst move: Matt Hasselback (9.00 points) over Tom Brady (11.75 points). Whatever.
Blaine Browns (0-3): Ouch. Most points of any loser. Again. It’s been a rough start for Drew, who loses (by a ton, if you can’t subtract too well) despite having a very solid week. Has to be pleased that Drew Brees finally put up a good week, as this should allay some quarterback fears. Got nice weeks from Terrell Owens (14.50) and Edgerrin James (18), but simply not enough production to overcome Skillz’s’s’s’ big output. He is now one of just two teams without a win, and faces two tall orders in Sex Panther and Fred Lane’s Wife the next two weeks.
Best move: Well, not that it’s much consolation, but Dwight Freeney is pretty good. Is this even a move?
Worst move: Hurt to have Keenan McCardell’s 18 points on the bench against a pass-defense-challenged Giants team. But once again, it might be better for BB’s sanity to not score so many points when losing.
==========
ChamPeons: 112.00 points
Fred Lane’s Wife: 109.75 points
ChamPeons: (2-1): Thunder rumbled early for Champ, and later broke in the form of Rod Smith. He snatches victory away in the closest matchup of the week, slightly easing the pain of sitting at Soldier Field for nine hours on Sunday watching the Bears. Champ managed to win without Clinton Portis and his decision to go with Drew Bledsoe (27 points) over Kerry Collins (24 points) was bold, but the three extra points were the difference in this matchup. Come to think of it, with Julius Jones (20 points) and Keyshawn Johnson (13.50 points) performing well, this was entirely a Cowboys-fueled win. Odd.
Best move: Matching up Bledsoe against San Francisco’s "defense."
Worst move: Nothing. Other than Collins, ChamPeons’ bench only totaled one lonely point.
Fred Lane’s Wife (1-2): Peyton Manning’s new team-oriented style may be great to shut up Bill Simmons, but it’s certainly not good news for his fantasy owners. 5.75 points in a week should never happen from someone who was considered by many to be the top fantasy player for this season. Making matters worse, FLW was thundered by 56-year-old Rod Smith of all players. All in all, a rough start for a team that was considered to be a top-3 team in the preseason. Plenty of time left to turn things around, and you have to figure that when Manning gets going (and he will), this team will follow.
Best move: Continued faith in Ronnie Brown (20.50) after a slow start. Big performances will become more common from this guy – even after Ricky Williams returns.
Worst move: Nothing really applies, as his seven bench players were all quiet.
==========
Sex Panther: 162.25 points
Big Fat Guys: 102.25 points
Sex Panther (1-2): After being forced by their owner to wear dresses for the past week following an 0-2 start, Sex Panther responded in a really big, really non-feminine way. Daunte Culpepper is going to keep wearing his dress after leading the charge with 32.25 point performance. Willis McGahee finally broke out (20 points) while Thomas Jones, Torry Holt, Cadillac Williams and newcomer Antonio Gates all landed in double-digits. Total could have been higher if Steven Jackson didn’t miss chunks of playing time with bruised ribs.
Best move: Sticking with Culpepper after whatever those first two weeks were.
Worst move: Not finding a way to get Mewelde Moore in the lineup against America’s Team.
Big Fat Guys (0-3): Not a bad week from BFG, but also not nearly enough to win. Baron’s team has done all right for itself so far despite a near dearth of running backs, and he did so again by getting big weeks his receivers (Chris Chambers, Terry Glenn and Joey Galloway: 38.50 points total). Things get more ugly moving down the lineup, with Mike Anderson being the only running back getting significant points and his tight end grabbing just one ball for four yards. Will have a difficult time choosing between Palmer and Bulger each week, but I guess that’s not a bad problem to have.
Best move: Terry Glenn is very involved in Dallas’ offense this year, so grabbing him off the scrap heap is looking like an astute pickup.
Worst move: Lamar Gordon, a backup running back, in the flex spot over Brandon Lloyd (21 points).
==========
Cellar Dwellers: 125.50 points
The Octagon: 107.25 points
Cellar Dwellers (3-0): Holy Shaun Alexander. Four touchdowns and 38 points from Stem’s star. This team looks very solid after three weeks, and has got to be feeling good about a resurgence. Besides Alexander, LaMont Jordan did well, and Marshall Faulk took advantage of some extra clock score 10.50 points. To score over 125 points while your RB2 and WR2 are on bye week is an impressive feat. A win next week over ChamPeons would go a long way in putting CD into the early playoff sketch.
Best move: Sitting Eric Moulds down and later dropping him. It hurts to drop a keeper, but JP Losman is the worst starting quarterback in the league right now. Justified.
Worst move: I guess I could say Leftwich over Delhomme, but that’d be terribly hypocritical of me after what I wrote the past two weeks. I still like Leftwich.
The Octagon (2-1): The Octagon has its best week of the season and loses. That seems to make sense, doesn’t it? Got some nice performances, but was really harmed by a couple of near no-shows with Atwaan Randle El, Lee Evans and Tony Gonzalez all being shut down. Did enjoy his first week of owning Brian Westbrook (28.00 points), who will be a major asset to this team in the VUFSA, a points-per-reception league. By the way, if anyone wants to open a dialogue in the thread below to discuss the trade that brought Westbrook to The Octagon, feel free. I’m not sure I’ve heard any opinions on it.
Best move: Trent Green followed the high-pick QB trend early and disappointed, but he did rebound to post a nice Week 3 effort. A good choice to be patient and not opt for Brett Favre.
Worst move: I keep saying this, but there were very few poor moves made around the league this week. JR is among those owners who had near optimum lineup production.
==========
Father Abraham: 91.50 points
Ken’s Anal Adventure: 80.75 points
Father Abraham (2-1): Also a thunder winner, though everyone saw this coming with Priest Holmes and others lined up to cover a 12-point deficit. His second best performance was actually from his kicker (13.00 points) and Holmes also did just enough running to secure a win. Donovan McNabb continues to play effectively while hurt, throwing up 365 yards and 23.50 points. Tight end Jason Witten (13.00 points) also came out of hiding to grab a touchdown pass, which has to make Lincoln happy after spending a fairly high draft pick on him. Gets to face off against an angry Peyton Manning next week for the chance to move to 3-1.
Best move: The design work on his website. It looks very nice, Lincoln. Oh, and uhh ... overcoming Jamal Lewis on bye week.
Worst move: NOTHING. No one did anything wrong this week and it’s bothering me. NOTHING.
Ken’s Anal Adventure (1-2): Didn’t back up their pregame trash talking, turning in a meek performance in what was ultimately a winnable match. Michael Vick (21.75) and TJ Duckett (13.00) points were good, but that was about all. Had two Vikings receivers available on the roster, but both were on the bench for the thrashing of the Saints. Brandon Stokley is really suffering this year, and doesn’t appear to be an every-week start anymore. However, the roster is actually fairly deep, for an expansion team, but it does force the owners to make good lineup choices. The management of the ballclub from here on out will go a long way in determining if they threaten this season.
Best move: Benching Justin McCareins, who still haunts Dave Tomke’s dreams every single night.
Worst move: Braylon Edwards against Indy’s defense over Travis Taylor (who was Daunte’s No. 1 WR with Burleson out). The extra 11.50 points would have allowed KAA to just barely edge out Abraham this week.
Eight of the ten teams in the league were over 100 points and two squads busted out for massive totals.
John Clayton is visiting Fred Lane’s wife in prison this weekend, so he won’t be here this week for a recap. Come to think of it ... there’s a good chance he won’t be here next week either.
On to this week’s HGH-fueled scoring.
==========
Madd Skillz: 159.75 points
Blaine Browns: 115.25 points
Madd Skillz (3-0): About the only thing that went wrong for Skillz this week is that Larry Johnson actually lost points on Monday night when the team was poised to make a run at the VUFSA record for points. But this is fantasy football –- we’re not concerned with personal stats. Anyway, Ed gets a win largely behind LDT’s absolutely profane week. I’m not going to bother recapping what he did, just go look it up for yourself. Steve Smith was equally ridiculous (28.50 points) and Fred Taylor’s knees carried the ball 37 times to put up 15 points. Skillz remains undefeated and more importantly, makes an intimidating statement to every other owner in the league with this showing.
Best move: Not that it was a gigantic risk, but drafting Smith off an injury has proven to be a great move. The comeback receiver looks headed for 1,200 yards and a 15-touchdown season.
Worst move: Matt Hasselback (9.00 points) over Tom Brady (11.75 points). Whatever.
Blaine Browns (0-3): Ouch. Most points of any loser. Again. It’s been a rough start for Drew, who loses (by a ton, if you can’t subtract too well) despite having a very solid week. Has to be pleased that Drew Brees finally put up a good week, as this should allay some quarterback fears. Got nice weeks from Terrell Owens (14.50) and Edgerrin James (18), but simply not enough production to overcome Skillz’s’s’s’ big output. He is now one of just two teams without a win, and faces two tall orders in Sex Panther and Fred Lane’s Wife the next two weeks.
Best move: Well, not that it’s much consolation, but Dwight Freeney is pretty good. Is this even a move?
Worst move: Hurt to have Keenan McCardell’s 18 points on the bench against a pass-defense-challenged Giants team. But once again, it might be better for BB’s sanity to not score so many points when losing.
==========
ChamPeons: 112.00 points
Fred Lane’s Wife: 109.75 points
ChamPeons: (2-1): Thunder rumbled early for Champ, and later broke in the form of Rod Smith. He snatches victory away in the closest matchup of the week, slightly easing the pain of sitting at Soldier Field for nine hours on Sunday watching the Bears. Champ managed to win without Clinton Portis and his decision to go with Drew Bledsoe (27 points) over Kerry Collins (24 points) was bold, but the three extra points were the difference in this matchup. Come to think of it, with Julius Jones (20 points) and Keyshawn Johnson (13.50 points) performing well, this was entirely a Cowboys-fueled win. Odd.
Best move: Matching up Bledsoe against San Francisco’s "defense."
Worst move: Nothing. Other than Collins, ChamPeons’ bench only totaled one lonely point.
Fred Lane’s Wife (1-2): Peyton Manning’s new team-oriented style may be great to shut up Bill Simmons, but it’s certainly not good news for his fantasy owners. 5.75 points in a week should never happen from someone who was considered by many to be the top fantasy player for this season. Making matters worse, FLW was thundered by 56-year-old Rod Smith of all players. All in all, a rough start for a team that was considered to be a top-3 team in the preseason. Plenty of time left to turn things around, and you have to figure that when Manning gets going (and he will), this team will follow.
Best move: Continued faith in Ronnie Brown (20.50) after a slow start. Big performances will become more common from this guy – even after Ricky Williams returns.
Worst move: Nothing really applies, as his seven bench players were all quiet.
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Sex Panther: 162.25 points
Big Fat Guys: 102.25 points
Sex Panther (1-2): After being forced by their owner to wear dresses for the past week following an 0-2 start, Sex Panther responded in a really big, really non-feminine way. Daunte Culpepper is going to keep wearing his dress after leading the charge with 32.25 point performance. Willis McGahee finally broke out (20 points) while Thomas Jones, Torry Holt, Cadillac Williams and newcomer Antonio Gates all landed in double-digits. Total could have been higher if Steven Jackson didn’t miss chunks of playing time with bruised ribs.
Best move: Sticking with Culpepper after whatever those first two weeks were.
Worst move: Not finding a way to get Mewelde Moore in the lineup against America’s Team.
Big Fat Guys (0-3): Not a bad week from BFG, but also not nearly enough to win. Baron’s team has done all right for itself so far despite a near dearth of running backs, and he did so again by getting big weeks his receivers (Chris Chambers, Terry Glenn and Joey Galloway: 38.50 points total). Things get more ugly moving down the lineup, with Mike Anderson being the only running back getting significant points and his tight end grabbing just one ball for four yards. Will have a difficult time choosing between Palmer and Bulger each week, but I guess that’s not a bad problem to have.
Best move: Terry Glenn is very involved in Dallas’ offense this year, so grabbing him off the scrap heap is looking like an astute pickup.
Worst move: Lamar Gordon, a backup running back, in the flex spot over Brandon Lloyd (21 points).
==========
Cellar Dwellers: 125.50 points
The Octagon: 107.25 points
Cellar Dwellers (3-0): Holy Shaun Alexander. Four touchdowns and 38 points from Stem’s star. This team looks very solid after three weeks, and has got to be feeling good about a resurgence. Besides Alexander, LaMont Jordan did well, and Marshall Faulk took advantage of some extra clock score 10.50 points. To score over 125 points while your RB2 and WR2 are on bye week is an impressive feat. A win next week over ChamPeons would go a long way in putting CD into the early playoff sketch.
Best move: Sitting Eric Moulds down and later dropping him. It hurts to drop a keeper, but JP Losman is the worst starting quarterback in the league right now. Justified.
Worst move: I guess I could say Leftwich over Delhomme, but that’d be terribly hypocritical of me after what I wrote the past two weeks. I still like Leftwich.
The Octagon (2-1): The Octagon has its best week of the season and loses. That seems to make sense, doesn’t it? Got some nice performances, but was really harmed by a couple of near no-shows with Atwaan Randle El, Lee Evans and Tony Gonzalez all being shut down. Did enjoy his first week of owning Brian Westbrook (28.00 points), who will be a major asset to this team in the VUFSA, a points-per-reception league. By the way, if anyone wants to open a dialogue in the thread below to discuss the trade that brought Westbrook to The Octagon, feel free. I’m not sure I’ve heard any opinions on it.
Best move: Trent Green followed the high-pick QB trend early and disappointed, but he did rebound to post a nice Week 3 effort. A good choice to be patient and not opt for Brett Favre.
Worst move: I keep saying this, but there were very few poor moves made around the league this week. JR is among those owners who had near optimum lineup production.
==========
Father Abraham: 91.50 points
Ken’s Anal Adventure: 80.75 points
Father Abraham (2-1): Also a thunder winner, though everyone saw this coming with Priest Holmes and others lined up to cover a 12-point deficit. His second best performance was actually from his kicker (13.00 points) and Holmes also did just enough running to secure a win. Donovan McNabb continues to play effectively while hurt, throwing up 365 yards and 23.50 points. Tight end Jason Witten (13.00 points) also came out of hiding to grab a touchdown pass, which has to make Lincoln happy after spending a fairly high draft pick on him. Gets to face off against an angry Peyton Manning next week for the chance to move to 3-1.
Best move: The design work on his website. It looks very nice, Lincoln. Oh, and uhh ... overcoming Jamal Lewis on bye week.
Worst move: NOTHING. No one did anything wrong this week and it’s bothering me. NOTHING.
Ken’s Anal Adventure (1-2): Didn’t back up their pregame trash talking, turning in a meek performance in what was ultimately a winnable match. Michael Vick (21.75) and TJ Duckett (13.00) points were good, but that was about all. Had two Vikings receivers available on the roster, but both were on the bench for the thrashing of the Saints. Brandon Stokley is really suffering this year, and doesn’t appear to be an every-week start anymore. However, the roster is actually fairly deep, for an expansion team, but it does force the owners to make good lineup choices. The management of the ballclub from here on out will go a long way in determining if they threaten this season.
Best move: Benching Justin McCareins, who still haunts Dave Tomke’s dreams every single night.
Worst move: Braylon Edwards against Indy’s defense over Travis Taylor (who was Daunte’s No. 1 WR with Burleson out). The extra 11.50 points would have allowed KAA to just barely edge out Abraham this week.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Top Ten Reasons for KAA Relevancy
For the record, I wrote this before Tomke slammed me. Thus, I post reluctantly. Hussies.
One thing members of the VUFSA learned early in the 2005 season was the expansion teams have the hardest uphill battle imaginable. Their ability to compete on the grand scale is almost impossible given the constraints of no real keepers save for two each chosen from the bottom of the barrel among other teams. That’s why the week 2 surprise of seeing Ken’s Anal Adventure defeat Sex Panther was so shocking, and why their ability to lead in week 3 before Monday Night Thunder's waning moments furthered their impressive early season showing.
It’s a risk to pimp the egos of owner Dave Tomke and assistant owner Ken LaVicka, but here are the Top Ten Reasons For KAA Relevancy:
10. Picking up Eli Manning. It may be a knee-jerk reaction to a fairly serviceable performance on Sunday night, but Manning could be keeper gold for a team that needs to address the future as soon as possible (considering their “now” is a mostly pre-determined doom). Manning could be a flop, but it’s nice to be able to add a first overall draft choice for free.
9. Picking up Michael Bennett. Right now, he doesn’t appear to be the starter in Minnesota, but Mike Tice has proven to be as fickle as he is retarded. It was a safe idea to take a flier on someone of that caliber, even if it meant sacrificing a waiver claim.
8. Drafting Antonio Gates and Reggie Wayne in the expansion draft. The regular draft may not have been the prettiest for KAA, but so far the acquisitions in the expansion draft look better than the obvious choices of Steven Jackson and Andre Johnson, on whom they passed. Johnson and Jackson have been sub-par, while the actual picks were valuable enough to move and help improve the team.
7. Adding Travis Taylor. The pickup before Week 3 looks mighty smart after Taylor caught a pair of touchdown passes for KAA’s bench, and he is quickly becoming the No. 2 receiving option for a Vikings offense that got a shot in the arm Sunday.
6. Trading Isaac Bruce to ChamPeons for Braylan Edwards. While many moves were made for the now, this one was also made for the future, trading a reliable veteran for an up-and-comer. If Troy Williamson pans out, it could be a formidable receiving corps as the year wears on – and perhaps even next year.
5. The influence of luck. Let’s be honest, the upset in Week 2 was one of the most unlikely possible. Daunte Culpepper (3.75) completely let Sex Panther down, and mediocre showings from Reggie Wayne, Willis McGahee and the tight end spot didn’t help. Father Abraham WR1 Joe Horn went absent in Week 3, though owner Lincoln Souzek still had enough firepower to carry through.
4. Acquiring Thomas Jones and Troy Williamson from Fred Lane’s Wife in a trade for Kevin Curtis and Robert Ferguson, then moving Jones while he was hot. Jones won’t be in power for long in Chicago and Williamson is far from a primary option in Minnesota, but the point outputs have been favorable; Jones notched 26.00 in Week 2 and Williamson caught a touchdown on the bench in Week 3. Sex Panther picked up Jones before Week 3, along with Antonio Gates for Michael Clayton and Ahman Green. It was a deal that upgraded KAA’s chief running back immensely (at least, in theory…) and Clayton will be a potential keeper receiver.
3. The September 7 add-fest. The Adventure picked up key players Kevin Curtis, Marcel Shipp, Robert Ferguson and David Givens all in the same day, the first real moves in the right direction for the squad. Many of those players were used in future transactions and Shipp is a solid contributor for the team today.
2. Acquiring Isaac Bruce and T.J. Duckett in a trade, while Sex Panther got Reggie Wayne in return. It was an unfortunate circumstance leading into week 2 for the Gun, when the two teams made a deal just before their matchup. Duckett and Bruce combined for 12.50 points, while Reggie Wayne had just 1.50, and Sex Panther lost by fewer than the 11.50 difference (9.50). Duckett went for double digits again in week 3.
1. Trading a second round draft pick and Dez White to ChamPeons for Michael Vick. Deftly looking to work with a team that had a slew of quarterback options, KAA mortgaged a small part of the future for a franchise-level quarterback. It’s a good move, even for a QB that may not be considered top five, as Vick went for 21.75 points in week 3 and 14.75 points in week 2. It was the first trade of the 2005 football season, and it gave KAA a legitimate meal ticket threat.
One thing members of the VUFSA learned early in the 2005 season was the expansion teams have the hardest uphill battle imaginable. Their ability to compete on the grand scale is almost impossible given the constraints of no real keepers save for two each chosen from the bottom of the barrel among other teams. That’s why the week 2 surprise of seeing Ken’s Anal Adventure defeat Sex Panther was so shocking, and why their ability to lead in week 3 before Monday Night Thunder's waning moments furthered their impressive early season showing.
It’s a risk to pimp the egos of owner Dave Tomke and assistant owner Ken LaVicka, but here are the Top Ten Reasons For KAA Relevancy:
10. Picking up Eli Manning. It may be a knee-jerk reaction to a fairly serviceable performance on Sunday night, but Manning could be keeper gold for a team that needs to address the future as soon as possible (considering their “now” is a mostly pre-determined doom). Manning could be a flop, but it’s nice to be able to add a first overall draft choice for free.
9. Picking up Michael Bennett. Right now, he doesn’t appear to be the starter in Minnesota, but Mike Tice has proven to be as fickle as he is retarded. It was a safe idea to take a flier on someone of that caliber, even if it meant sacrificing a waiver claim.
8. Drafting Antonio Gates and Reggie Wayne in the expansion draft. The regular draft may not have been the prettiest for KAA, but so far the acquisitions in the expansion draft look better than the obvious choices of Steven Jackson and Andre Johnson, on whom they passed. Johnson and Jackson have been sub-par, while the actual picks were valuable enough to move and help improve the team.
7. Adding Travis Taylor. The pickup before Week 3 looks mighty smart after Taylor caught a pair of touchdown passes for KAA’s bench, and he is quickly becoming the No. 2 receiving option for a Vikings offense that got a shot in the arm Sunday.
6. Trading Isaac Bruce to ChamPeons for Braylan Edwards. While many moves were made for the now, this one was also made for the future, trading a reliable veteran for an up-and-comer. If Troy Williamson pans out, it could be a formidable receiving corps as the year wears on – and perhaps even next year.
5. The influence of luck. Let’s be honest, the upset in Week 2 was one of the most unlikely possible. Daunte Culpepper (3.75) completely let Sex Panther down, and mediocre showings from Reggie Wayne, Willis McGahee and the tight end spot didn’t help. Father Abraham WR1 Joe Horn went absent in Week 3, though owner Lincoln Souzek still had enough firepower to carry through.
4. Acquiring Thomas Jones and Troy Williamson from Fred Lane’s Wife in a trade for Kevin Curtis and Robert Ferguson, then moving Jones while he was hot. Jones won’t be in power for long in Chicago and Williamson is far from a primary option in Minnesota, but the point outputs have been favorable; Jones notched 26.00 in Week 2 and Williamson caught a touchdown on the bench in Week 3. Sex Panther picked up Jones before Week 3, along with Antonio Gates for Michael Clayton and Ahman Green. It was a deal that upgraded KAA’s chief running back immensely (at least, in theory…) and Clayton will be a potential keeper receiver.
3. The September 7 add-fest. The Adventure picked up key players Kevin Curtis, Marcel Shipp, Robert Ferguson and David Givens all in the same day, the first real moves in the right direction for the squad. Many of those players were used in future transactions and Shipp is a solid contributor for the team today.
2. Acquiring Isaac Bruce and T.J. Duckett in a trade, while Sex Panther got Reggie Wayne in return. It was an unfortunate circumstance leading into week 2 for the Gun, when the two teams made a deal just before their matchup. Duckett and Bruce combined for 12.50 points, while Reggie Wayne had just 1.50, and Sex Panther lost by fewer than the 11.50 difference (9.50). Duckett went for double digits again in week 3.
1. Trading a second round draft pick and Dez White to ChamPeons for Michael Vick. Deftly looking to work with a team that had a slew of quarterback options, KAA mortgaged a small part of the future for a franchise-level quarterback. It’s a good move, even for a QB that may not be considered top five, as Vick went for 21.75 points in week 3 and 14.75 points in week 2. It was the first trade of the 2005 football season, and it gave KAA a legitimate meal ticket threat.
Early Week 3 Musings
Every now and then, I get a little hyperbolic. Maybe too much. I guess I fall into the trap that a lot of people who aren't real journalists (John Kruk, Stephen A. Smith, Sean Salsibury) who overdramatize things to make it a better story. It comes back to bite you.
In week 2's preview I wrote: "A second straight loss would be devastating and humiliating..." about the Gun's game againts KAA because I in no way expected him to lose. He did, and afterwards I felt foolish for implying that he should be humiliated. The Gun showed in week 3 why a second straight loss would be a blip on the radar.
In this past weeks preview (in case you missed it in the 2,400 word mess) "The Browns of Blaine could be facing elimination from the playoff race with a loss this week," and though the game isn't over- I look at that now as pure folly to suggest that Drew can't still win 8-9 games this year (of the remaining 11) which would be good for playoff contention, at the least. So even if Lawrence Tynes doesn't score 51 points tonight, Drew is still in it. I'm going to try and keep my hyperbole to a minimum from now on.
On to the musings...
-This week is really all about the Gun, who fell just 8 points or so shy of doubling his point total for the entire year. Daunte Culpepper got back on track this week, which is the biggest reason for the gigantic turnaround, but even if he hadn't- Eli still wins in a walk. The absolutely terrifying thing is this: no one from Sex Panther did something they shouldn't have. With the exception of Zach Thomas Jones, no one really overacheived. Even still, take away their 30 points and replace it with nothing, you still get over 130 points. This is a horrifiying team to go up against and will probably win at least 10 games despite losing their first two. I think they'll win 11, personally.
-The other big stories come from one game. The Madd Skillz-Blaine Browns tilt provided plenty of story lines. First has to be the potential 0-3 start to a damn good football team. Drew has 111+ points heading into Monday and is trailing by 50. Drew's expected win total is 3. To clarify: Drew will have been in the top5 scorers every week we have played, with nothing to show. However, as I alluded to earlier, this team can still make a run at the playoffs, with two huge games in the coming two weeks serving as a potential springboard.
-The other story out of that game is the point total put up by SKL. Trailing SP's total by just two, needs a modest effort from Larry Johnson tonight to set the high score for the week, season and post expansion VUFSA. This of course is due in large part to LaDanian Tomlinson's VUFSA record 44.25 points on Sunday night. Big games from Chad Johnson and Steve Smith helped as well. It's odd to think that a team could score 160+ points in this league with a 9 from the QB spot. SKL is looking good heading into a showdown with The Octagon next week.
-Speaking of The Octagon, the participants in our Game of the Week do not look to be a disappointment at all, as the Thunder is very much in play for JR. An undefeated record is on the line. Regardless of the outcome, I think I can safely say that Stem is a serious contender, and has the respect of the league. After a few iffy keepers (Moulds, Delhomme) the man put together a nice draft and is on the verge of winning with 40% of his keepers on a bye week. A 4 TD week from Shaun Alexander (which may get lost in the LDT shadow) will do that for a team.
-Thunder is also lurking in the matchup betweek KAA and Father Abraham, as FA has three guys going against a defender trying to make up a 15 point deficit. It should happen, probably by Priest Holmes himself. If it does, FA remains pretty quieltly in the foreground of the playoff sprint, as the only real noise he's made this year came from Donovan McNabb. Other than that, it's been a solid, sturdy year for the most part.
-KAA, on the otherhand, have been loud their entire existence in the league. A win this week would only encourage them, except that 80 points really isn't worthy. Still, a win's a win, and an expansion team could be looking at 2-1 if Priest or the Broncos struggle.
-The last Thunder possibility is Rod Smith for Champeons against Fred Lane's Wife. FLW- a pretty unanimous choice for a top 3 finish from the unfinished preseason poll has been up and down, and has now found the middle ground- 109 points. I said I wan't going to go overboard anymore, but I do know that this will be a really big win for either team, as both are solid clubs, scoring a lot of points and an early 1-2 is a long way from 2-1 at this point in the season.
-That last sentence made no sense. Maybe i'll just stick to going over the top.
-Back to Champ, really impressive game despite getting a pithy performance from Isaac Bruce and having a questionable running game. Drew Bledsoe outscoring Peyton Manning (by a lot) will do that.
-It's trendy to rip on Baron this week, because of the Westbrook deal, but he still put up a good number despite a mere half point from his RBs so far. It does hurt to replace Westbrook's 28 points (though it wouldn't have made a difference) for Brendan Jacobs.
While we're at it, allow me to break down the controversial trade:
-There is no question that Carson Palmer is a stud QB.
-There is no question that Brian Westbrook is a big time RB.
-There is very little difference in the overall talent exchanged in this trade.
All things point to a fair deal, so what's the problem? Well, the red flag to me was that Baron had one real RB and two real bargaining chips. He dealt his only RB (and half of his chips) for a player, who in all truth has had 3 good games (though he is the next big thing in my mind) which significantly decreased the value in his other chip with which he can build his franchise. Who is going to give a lot for someone's #2 QB, a guy that is now no longer a keeper? I don't know what Baron's plan is, but this deal may eventually set him back a few years because it will take him that much longer to amass a quality RB core. With Westbrook, you can add a sold vet, and a rookie (maybe someone like Cadillac Williams) next year, and you're set for a while. As is now, it's a blank slate heading to next year. However, like I said before, Baron is very smart, and may be thinking two steps ahead of me here on how to deal Bulger, or who to get to run. Personally though, I would have asked for Cedric Benson and tossed in a draft pick to get him along with Palmer. Especially now that Travis Henry is suspended.
I also think there is added angst in this deal because JR got a tremendous running back for nothing out of his starting lineup. JR's team was a very flawed contender after week 2, but after this deal is a much less flawed team, and thus a threat to everyone else. The overall improvement to The Octagon probably upset owners more than the talent changing hands because it tightens the playoff race up that much more.
Recap coming tomorrow, along with a possible Baseball race update and a look back at how our football draft looks now. JR should have a Top10 out sometime soon too.
In week 2's preview I wrote: "A second straight loss would be devastating and humiliating..." about the Gun's game againts KAA because I in no way expected him to lose. He did, and afterwards I felt foolish for implying that he should be humiliated. The Gun showed in week 3 why a second straight loss would be a blip on the radar.
In this past weeks preview (in case you missed it in the 2,400 word mess) "The Browns of Blaine could be facing elimination from the playoff race with a loss this week," and though the game isn't over- I look at that now as pure folly to suggest that Drew can't still win 8-9 games this year (of the remaining 11) which would be good for playoff contention, at the least. So even if Lawrence Tynes doesn't score 51 points tonight, Drew is still in it. I'm going to try and keep my hyperbole to a minimum from now on.
On to the musings...
-This week is really all about the Gun, who fell just 8 points or so shy of doubling his point total for the entire year. Daunte Culpepper got back on track this week, which is the biggest reason for the gigantic turnaround, but even if he hadn't- Eli still wins in a walk. The absolutely terrifying thing is this: no one from Sex Panther did something they shouldn't have. With the exception of Zach Thomas Jones, no one really overacheived. Even still, take away their 30 points and replace it with nothing, you still get over 130 points. This is a horrifiying team to go up against and will probably win at least 10 games despite losing their first two. I think they'll win 11, personally.
-The other big stories come from one game. The Madd Skillz-Blaine Browns tilt provided plenty of story lines. First has to be the potential 0-3 start to a damn good football team. Drew has 111+ points heading into Monday and is trailing by 50. Drew's expected win total is 3. To clarify: Drew will have been in the top5 scorers every week we have played, with nothing to show. However, as I alluded to earlier, this team can still make a run at the playoffs, with two huge games in the coming two weeks serving as a potential springboard.
-The other story out of that game is the point total put up by SKL. Trailing SP's total by just two, needs a modest effort from Larry Johnson tonight to set the high score for the week, season and post expansion VUFSA. This of course is due in large part to LaDanian Tomlinson's VUFSA record 44.25 points on Sunday night. Big games from Chad Johnson and Steve Smith helped as well. It's odd to think that a team could score 160+ points in this league with a 9 from the QB spot. SKL is looking good heading into a showdown with The Octagon next week.
-Speaking of The Octagon, the participants in our Game of the Week do not look to be a disappointment at all, as the Thunder is very much in play for JR. An undefeated record is on the line. Regardless of the outcome, I think I can safely say that Stem is a serious contender, and has the respect of the league. After a few iffy keepers (Moulds, Delhomme) the man put together a nice draft and is on the verge of winning with 40% of his keepers on a bye week. A 4 TD week from Shaun Alexander (which may get lost in the LDT shadow) will do that for a team.
-Thunder is also lurking in the matchup betweek KAA and Father Abraham, as FA has three guys going against a defender trying to make up a 15 point deficit. It should happen, probably by Priest Holmes himself. If it does, FA remains pretty quieltly in the foreground of the playoff sprint, as the only real noise he's made this year came from Donovan McNabb. Other than that, it's been a solid, sturdy year for the most part.
-KAA, on the otherhand, have been loud their entire existence in the league. A win this week would only encourage them, except that 80 points really isn't worthy. Still, a win's a win, and an expansion team could be looking at 2-1 if Priest or the Broncos struggle.
-The last Thunder possibility is Rod Smith for Champeons against Fred Lane's Wife. FLW- a pretty unanimous choice for a top 3 finish from the unfinished preseason poll has been up and down, and has now found the middle ground- 109 points. I said I wan't going to go overboard anymore, but I do know that this will be a really big win for either team, as both are solid clubs, scoring a lot of points and an early 1-2 is a long way from 2-1 at this point in the season.
-That last sentence made no sense. Maybe i'll just stick to going over the top.
-Back to Champ, really impressive game despite getting a pithy performance from Isaac Bruce and having a questionable running game. Drew Bledsoe outscoring Peyton Manning (by a lot) will do that.
-It's trendy to rip on Baron this week, because of the Westbrook deal, but he still put up a good number despite a mere half point from his RBs so far. It does hurt to replace Westbrook's 28 points (though it wouldn't have made a difference) for Brendan Jacobs.
While we're at it, allow me to break down the controversial trade:
-There is no question that Carson Palmer is a stud QB.
-There is no question that Brian Westbrook is a big time RB.
-There is very little difference in the overall talent exchanged in this trade.
All things point to a fair deal, so what's the problem? Well, the red flag to me was that Baron had one real RB and two real bargaining chips. He dealt his only RB (and half of his chips) for a player, who in all truth has had 3 good games (though he is the next big thing in my mind) which significantly decreased the value in his other chip with which he can build his franchise. Who is going to give a lot for someone's #2 QB, a guy that is now no longer a keeper? I don't know what Baron's plan is, but this deal may eventually set him back a few years because it will take him that much longer to amass a quality RB core. With Westbrook, you can add a sold vet, and a rookie (maybe someone like Cadillac Williams) next year, and you're set for a while. As is now, it's a blank slate heading to next year. However, like I said before, Baron is very smart, and may be thinking two steps ahead of me here on how to deal Bulger, or who to get to run. Personally though, I would have asked for Cedric Benson and tossed in a draft pick to get him along with Palmer. Especially now that Travis Henry is suspended.
I also think there is added angst in this deal because JR got a tremendous running back for nothing out of his starting lineup. JR's team was a very flawed contender after week 2, but after this deal is a much less flawed team, and thus a threat to everyone else. The overall improvement to The Octagon probably upset owners more than the talent changing hands because it tightens the playoff race up that much more.
Recap coming tomorrow, along with a possible Baseball race update and a look back at how our football draft looks now. JR should have a Top10 out sometime soon too.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Week 3 Preview
New format this week
Game of the week:
The Octagon (-21) vs. Cellar Dwellars
Yahoo continues to disrespect Stem's squad, as this is the second straight week they project a 20 point loss for his team...This is the only matchup of two unbeatens, and is just the second such match (excluding week 1) of the season...the only other potential matchups featuring two unbeaten teams are next week (if JR and Ed win this week) or again in week 8, if Stem and Ed can hold on that long...Radcliffe holds a 2-0 lifetime record against Stem...
News and Notes, OCT
It's easy to knock on this team for their lack of production, only outscoring two other teams (both expansion) through two weeks...A large reason for the low scores is the disappointing play of first rounder Trent Green, who's real life running game is keeping the ball out of his (and OCT teammate Tony Gonzalez's) hands...Made a big splash this week, getting a rock solid running back to team with Tiki Barber; acquired Brian Westbrook and Antwaan Randle El for Carson Palmer and Travis Henry...Westbrook is a double digit scorer every week, and Randle El is in the midst of breaking out this season; although El's value is lowered on a fantasy team that already has Hines Ward...May someday regret trading Carson Palmer as a future stud, but will never look back if Westbrook leads this team into the playoffs, and rightfully so...JJ Arrington's near future is cloudy, this makes Westbrook so much more valuable to this team right now...Key Players on Bye week: Andre Johnson (Lee Evans and Randle El (wr, flex resp.)) will fill his spot
News and Notes, CD
Last season's doormat can equal his win total from 2004 with a victory this week...Will need Shaun Alexander to continue putting up huge numbers; an off week from him would be hard to overcome...Marshall Faulk makes his debut in CD's lineup, stepping in for Kevin Jones...While Jones has struggled, this is a clear downgrade...As a result, extra pressure will be put on LaMont Jordan to produce...Rookie WR Matt Jones makes his season debut for CD as well, unfortunately, representing a significant downgrade in this lineup...It suprises no one that these losses come on a week where Stem is slated to play JR...KPOBW: Kevin Jones, Roy Williams
Prediction: The Octagon wins, but don't plan on him covering the spread
The two spot:
Champeons vs. Fred Lane's Wife (-8)
In some ways, this game is more intriguing than the previous, as it features to teams, both 1-1, who can basically reserve a spot in the playoff race with a win...This game is more important to Champeons than it is to FLW, as Viano's team is more likely to climb out of a sub-.500 hole...Both teams had big week 1s, only to get taken down a peg in week2...Viano and Champ are 1-1 against each other lifetime, with Champ winning by just one point the last time the two met...
News and Notes, CHM
Big news out of Champ's camp this week, as Coach Whitlock has benched starting QB Kerry Collins for the resurgent Drew Bledsoe...Derrick Mason is on a bye, but frankly that doesn't hurt this team as much as you would think, as Randy Moss, Rod Smith and Isaac Bruce make up the WR spots, with Keyshawn Johnson at the Flex...It would be helpful, however, if Mason could play this week at running back, as he would certainly be a better option than Frank Gore...Gore, along with fellow starter Chris Brown makes for an unsettling RB situation, despite John Clayton's big hunk of man, Julius Jones...To no one's suprise, Champion made a trade this week, dealing with Madd Skillz; CHM acquired Mike Williams, Lance Briggs, Keary Colbert and Gore at the expense of Jeremy Shockey, Duce Staley and DeAngelo Hall...If Chris Baker can produce out of the tight end spot, Shockey will not be missed, and if Waiver Wire Willie keeps running the way he does, Staley is no big loss either...The payoff in this deal will come when Mike Williams blossoms as a stud WR, and a big-time keeper candidate, with bonus bonuses if Colbert gets on track and if Gore gets a job later in the season...KPOBW: Clinton Portis, Derrick Mason
News and Notes, FLW
Setting records every week...After registering the season high point output in week 1, FLW slumped to post the lowest score in VUFSA history (62.25) the following week...For those wondering, the Highest Score in league history was a 172.75 by the Gun in week 9 of last year, and the previous low was 66.25, by Lincoln in the same week...Like most teams, FLW can blame their struggles on the QB Spot; where Peyton Manning has put up just 24.50 points through 2 weeks, a number he would average per start last season...The ineffectiveness of Corey Dillon (99 yards rushing) is cause for concern as well...Willie Parker will probably go down as the pickup of the year for this season, even if he never plays another down...Kevin Curtis steps to the plate this week in "Who can make the loss of Javon Walker hurt less?"...Have we seen the best that Jimmy Smith will give this year (week 1)? Probably...Watch out for Darrell Jackson to make a run at the top 5 by the end of the year...KPOBW: None
Prediction: The strength of FLW's runners (Dillon, Deuce McAllister, Parker, Ronnie Brown) will be to much for CHM to get back in other categories.
Game #3
Madd Skillz (-3) vs. Blaine Browns
Projected to be the closest, and highest scoring match of the week...only Sex Panther's projected score is higher than either of these sqauds...A rematch of last year's semifinals, where Schillinger was victorious 130-82...Only game of the week featuring an undefeated and and unbeaten...Wolfman is 2-1 lifetime against Schillinger...
News and Notes, SKL
Changing gears at the QB spot, giving Matt Hasselbeck the nod this week over Tom Brady...Riding the TDs, but not the overall excellence of LaDanian Tomlinson right now; if he gets the touches he should, watch out...has a tough matchup for two key players, as the Johnsons Bengal (Rudi and Chad) take on the best young defense in the NFL, the Bears...Has been getting great production from WR corps, as Steve Smith and Laverneus Coles have found their rythym of two years ago...Dealt with Champ this week to acquire a starting TE for this week, and got a good one in Jeremy Shockey; Li'l Eli Manning loves the big moron, so Shockey may overtake incumbent Todd Heap in the lineup if the matchup dictates...Add-on Duce Staley will not do much for the near future, but when healthy, could give this team 6 solid options at RB, something no other team can match right now...Adds Santana Moss off of waivers to make up for departed WRs, while increasing his number of players who burned him in 2004 that sit on his 2005 roster to 4...Larry Johnson gets his second straight start instead of Domanick Davis, but this one not by choice...KPOBW: Domanick Davis, Todd Heap
News and Notes, BB
To overdramify things, The Browns of Blaine could be facing elimination from the playoff race with a loss this week...Not that three losses will eliminate them, but with Sex Panther and FLW on deck the next two weeks, a split in those two weeks should make owner Drew Wolf happy; therefore, a loss here theoretically puts them at 1-4...ouch...Has benched one of the Drews (Bennett) this week, and with another subpar performance, the other (Brees) could cede his spot to newly acquired Ben Roethlisberger...This team will go as Curtis Martin goes, and he has gone nowhere, that sucks...does anyone else get the feeling that Edgerrin James is going to score 275s point this season? I do...Ruben Droughns at the Flex spot is an interesting call, as a healthy Lee Suggs could take away carries this week...an X-Factor in the coming weeks will be Ron Dayne, if he is named Denver's starting running back...Alge Crumpler will get in the end zone soon, this is likely the week...KPOBW: None
Prediction: Upset special; Wolfman stays in the race for another week with a big win over the top team in the standings. Expect big games from James, Crumpler and Terrell Owens, while Curtis Martin bounces back. On the other side, SKL will make it close, but struggles of the Bengals and uncertainty of the QB and flex spot will cause this team to fall just short.
Batting Cleanup:
Father Abraham (-18) vs. Ken's Anal Adventure
Two one win teams (one expected, one shocking) face off, with different meanings for both teams...FA simply wants to stay in the race early, and a win gives them a nice cushion, but a loss doesn't knock them out...KAA on the other hand, off the biggest upset in VUFSA history (just beating out the time Stem beat the Gun late last year) seems thrilled with their spoiler role, but not content with it; this regime has contention on their minds...This is the first meeting of these two franchises...
News and Notes, FA
Welcome Back, Mr. McNabb, although it's not as if the rest of the league was mad you were gone...Maybe Jamal Lewis will find what Donovan did during his bye week...KAA has predicted upset this week, and I can't say they're crazy, as FA's lineup has some holes...Ronald Curry is out for the year, and won't really merit a roster spot now; Suprise Stud Stephen Davis is listed as Questionable, while Lewis is on a bye...Luckily, FA can now confidently play Muhsin Muhammed in place of Ronald Curry (and really, always could), though RBs run very thin...If Davis can't go, FA doesn't have enough backs on its roster to fill up that spot...You really have to like what this team has going on at WR, with Muhammed complimented by Joe Horn and Anquan Boldin...Jason Witten is better than this, right?...Priest Holmes isn't his usual self (though he's playing better than the man he was traded for last year) but is still a stud despite splitting carries...KPOBW: Jamal Lewis
News and Notes, KAA
Michael Vick is questionable with an injury, and his backup Joey Harrington is on a bye and is also bad at football; it's trouble unless a free agent alternative is picked up...Made (as always) a couple of big deals this week, acquring Braylon Edwards as a nod to the future, as well as Ahman Green and Michael Clayton (two other likely keepers) this week...Lost Antonio Gates and last week's hero Thomas Jones in the Green/Clayton deal, but still probably came out ahead because of the futures of the players received...Jerramy Stevens will be called upon to be the next Gates, for this team and the NFL, apparently...Could get a huge lift if DeShaun Foster takes away all of Stephen Davis' carries this week...Brandon Stokely goes as the Colts go, though he could be the last of the Colt's trio of WR to get heavily involved; look for this to be Reggie Wayne's week...Marcell Shipp is another gamble paying off nicely...all things considered, this team could have 4 RBs in the lineup that see serious time...KPOBW: Marcus Pollard?
Prediction: So many unknowns (health of Vick, Davis) make this the hardest game to call. Can I be ballsy and pick two upsets this week? Sure- KAA wins it unless FA can find some runners. Michael Clayton will have a big part in the win.
The 5 Hole:
Sex Panther (-38!) vs. Big Fat Guys
Only matchup of two winless teams (one expected, one shocking)...is this the start of a massive winning streak for SP? I think so...Will I stop asking myself questions? Probably not...There really isn't anything that interesting about this matchup...This is the first meeting between these two franchises...
News and Notes, SP
Dare I say it again? This is a must win for the Gun, simply because there will be no excuses for losing...the spread is 38, so unless Daunte Culpepper puts up -40, there will be no complaining...Retooled their starting linuep this week, dealing with KAA; their linuep is just stacked...Antonio Gates adds the whole "best player at a weak position" thing, while Thomas Jones is an enviable Flex player, especially if he can hold off Cedric Benson in real life...Cadillac Willams is simply amazing, he does not look like he's going to stop; he's everything Willis MaGahee was supposed to be this year...Speaking of Willis, he's still going to be a monster this season...Do you realize that both expansion teams passed on Steven Jackson twice each? More on the expansion team's beginner's follies later...Deion Branch's emergence will soften the blow of losing Clayton...KPOBW: None.
News and Notes, BFG
Before we rip, we show some love...Baron is a very smart man, and will make a great owner...he's already done some very nice things...Baron's activity has attributed to the league's uptick in trades, with 7 completed this year, compared with just 2 at this time last year...That being said, let's take a look at how the expansion teams used the picks that should have been their building blocks: Baron, hell bent on taking RBs and making them the core of his team, takes Tatum Bell (hmmm...) and Brian Westbrook (that's more like it). However, in taking Bell (who if he really wanted, could have had with the #1 in the overall draft) he passed on Steven Jackson, who will never be available for nothing again. Then, with the #1 in the overall, took Nate Burleson. Not bad, hasn't worked out. Then, trades Westbrook, his only solid runner, for Carson Palmer, who backs up the only spot where BFG was solidified...Curious. As far as KAA, they nabbed Antonio Gates and Reggie Wayne in the expansion draft, and shortly after traded them both to the Gun. They did get a nice return on both trades, however. Then, with the #2 pick in the overall, they selected Brett Farve, who was recently waived. Both teams are in decent shape, which is amazing seeing how catastrophic each team's first three players have turned out. (by the way, next time one of the expansions complains about RBs, remind them that either of them could have had Steven Jackson, Brian Westbrook and LaMont Jordan as their starters.)....Anyway, Baron needs a lot of help this week...KPOBW: None.
Prediction: SP in a walk. I can't honestly say that Baron covers. Sorry, B.
Game of the week:
The Octagon (-21) vs. Cellar Dwellars
Yahoo continues to disrespect Stem's squad, as this is the second straight week they project a 20 point loss for his team...This is the only matchup of two unbeatens, and is just the second such match (excluding week 1) of the season...the only other potential matchups featuring two unbeaten teams are next week (if JR and Ed win this week) or again in week 8, if Stem and Ed can hold on that long...Radcliffe holds a 2-0 lifetime record against Stem...
News and Notes, OCT
It's easy to knock on this team for their lack of production, only outscoring two other teams (both expansion) through two weeks...A large reason for the low scores is the disappointing play of first rounder Trent Green, who's real life running game is keeping the ball out of his (and OCT teammate Tony Gonzalez's) hands...Made a big splash this week, getting a rock solid running back to team with Tiki Barber; acquired Brian Westbrook and Antwaan Randle El for Carson Palmer and Travis Henry...Westbrook is a double digit scorer every week, and Randle El is in the midst of breaking out this season; although El's value is lowered on a fantasy team that already has Hines Ward...May someday regret trading Carson Palmer as a future stud, but will never look back if Westbrook leads this team into the playoffs, and rightfully so...JJ Arrington's near future is cloudy, this makes Westbrook so much more valuable to this team right now...Key Players on Bye week: Andre Johnson (Lee Evans and Randle El (wr, flex resp.)) will fill his spot
News and Notes, CD
Last season's doormat can equal his win total from 2004 with a victory this week...Will need Shaun Alexander to continue putting up huge numbers; an off week from him would be hard to overcome...Marshall Faulk makes his debut in CD's lineup, stepping in for Kevin Jones...While Jones has struggled, this is a clear downgrade...As a result, extra pressure will be put on LaMont Jordan to produce...Rookie WR Matt Jones makes his season debut for CD as well, unfortunately, representing a significant downgrade in this lineup...It suprises no one that these losses come on a week where Stem is slated to play JR...KPOBW: Kevin Jones, Roy Williams
Prediction: The Octagon wins, but don't plan on him covering the spread
The two spot:
Champeons vs. Fred Lane's Wife (-8)
In some ways, this game is more intriguing than the previous, as it features to teams, both 1-1, who can basically reserve a spot in the playoff race with a win...This game is more important to Champeons than it is to FLW, as Viano's team is more likely to climb out of a sub-.500 hole...Both teams had big week 1s, only to get taken down a peg in week2...Viano and Champ are 1-1 against each other lifetime, with Champ winning by just one point the last time the two met...
News and Notes, CHM
Big news out of Champ's camp this week, as Coach Whitlock has benched starting QB Kerry Collins for the resurgent Drew Bledsoe...Derrick Mason is on a bye, but frankly that doesn't hurt this team as much as you would think, as Randy Moss, Rod Smith and Isaac Bruce make up the WR spots, with Keyshawn Johnson at the Flex...It would be helpful, however, if Mason could play this week at running back, as he would certainly be a better option than Frank Gore...Gore, along with fellow starter Chris Brown makes for an unsettling RB situation, despite John Clayton's big hunk of man, Julius Jones...To no one's suprise, Champion made a trade this week, dealing with Madd Skillz; CHM acquired Mike Williams, Lance Briggs, Keary Colbert and Gore at the expense of Jeremy Shockey, Duce Staley and DeAngelo Hall...If Chris Baker can produce out of the tight end spot, Shockey will not be missed, and if Waiver Wire Willie keeps running the way he does, Staley is no big loss either...The payoff in this deal will come when Mike Williams blossoms as a stud WR, and a big-time keeper candidate, with bonus bonuses if Colbert gets on track and if Gore gets a job later in the season...KPOBW: Clinton Portis, Derrick Mason
News and Notes, FLW
Setting records every week...After registering the season high point output in week 1, FLW slumped to post the lowest score in VUFSA history (62.25) the following week...For those wondering, the Highest Score in league history was a 172.75 by the Gun in week 9 of last year, and the previous low was 66.25, by Lincoln in the same week...Like most teams, FLW can blame their struggles on the QB Spot; where Peyton Manning has put up just 24.50 points through 2 weeks, a number he would average per start last season...The ineffectiveness of Corey Dillon (99 yards rushing) is cause for concern as well...Willie Parker will probably go down as the pickup of the year for this season, even if he never plays another down...Kevin Curtis steps to the plate this week in "Who can make the loss of Javon Walker hurt less?"...Have we seen the best that Jimmy Smith will give this year (week 1)? Probably...Watch out for Darrell Jackson to make a run at the top 5 by the end of the year...KPOBW: None
Prediction: The strength of FLW's runners (Dillon, Deuce McAllister, Parker, Ronnie Brown) will be to much for CHM to get back in other categories.
Game #3
Madd Skillz (-3) vs. Blaine Browns
Projected to be the closest, and highest scoring match of the week...only Sex Panther's projected score is higher than either of these sqauds...A rematch of last year's semifinals, where Schillinger was victorious 130-82...Only game of the week featuring an undefeated and and unbeaten...Wolfman is 2-1 lifetime against Schillinger...
News and Notes, SKL
Changing gears at the QB spot, giving Matt Hasselbeck the nod this week over Tom Brady...Riding the TDs, but not the overall excellence of LaDanian Tomlinson right now; if he gets the touches he should, watch out...has a tough matchup for two key players, as the Johnsons Bengal (Rudi and Chad) take on the best young defense in the NFL, the Bears...Has been getting great production from WR corps, as Steve Smith and Laverneus Coles have found their rythym of two years ago...Dealt with Champ this week to acquire a starting TE for this week, and got a good one in Jeremy Shockey; Li'l Eli Manning loves the big moron, so Shockey may overtake incumbent Todd Heap in the lineup if the matchup dictates...Add-on Duce Staley will not do much for the near future, but when healthy, could give this team 6 solid options at RB, something no other team can match right now...Adds Santana Moss off of waivers to make up for departed WRs, while increasing his number of players who burned him in 2004 that sit on his 2005 roster to 4...Larry Johnson gets his second straight start instead of Domanick Davis, but this one not by choice...KPOBW: Domanick Davis, Todd Heap
News and Notes, BB
To overdramify things, The Browns of Blaine could be facing elimination from the playoff race with a loss this week...Not that three losses will eliminate them, but with Sex Panther and FLW on deck the next two weeks, a split in those two weeks should make owner Drew Wolf happy; therefore, a loss here theoretically puts them at 1-4...ouch...Has benched one of the Drews (Bennett) this week, and with another subpar performance, the other (Brees) could cede his spot to newly acquired Ben Roethlisberger...This team will go as Curtis Martin goes, and he has gone nowhere, that sucks...does anyone else get the feeling that Edgerrin James is going to score 275s point this season? I do...Ruben Droughns at the Flex spot is an interesting call, as a healthy Lee Suggs could take away carries this week...an X-Factor in the coming weeks will be Ron Dayne, if he is named Denver's starting running back...Alge Crumpler will get in the end zone soon, this is likely the week...KPOBW: None
Prediction: Upset special; Wolfman stays in the race for another week with a big win over the top team in the standings. Expect big games from James, Crumpler and Terrell Owens, while Curtis Martin bounces back. On the other side, SKL will make it close, but struggles of the Bengals and uncertainty of the QB and flex spot will cause this team to fall just short.
Batting Cleanup:
Father Abraham (-18) vs. Ken's Anal Adventure
Two one win teams (one expected, one shocking) face off, with different meanings for both teams...FA simply wants to stay in the race early, and a win gives them a nice cushion, but a loss doesn't knock them out...KAA on the other hand, off the biggest upset in VUFSA history (just beating out the time Stem beat the Gun late last year) seems thrilled with their spoiler role, but not content with it; this regime has contention on their minds...This is the first meeting of these two franchises...
News and Notes, FA
Welcome Back, Mr. McNabb, although it's not as if the rest of the league was mad you were gone...Maybe Jamal Lewis will find what Donovan did during his bye week...KAA has predicted upset this week, and I can't say they're crazy, as FA's lineup has some holes...Ronald Curry is out for the year, and won't really merit a roster spot now; Suprise Stud Stephen Davis is listed as Questionable, while Lewis is on a bye...Luckily, FA can now confidently play Muhsin Muhammed in place of Ronald Curry (and really, always could), though RBs run very thin...If Davis can't go, FA doesn't have enough backs on its roster to fill up that spot...You really have to like what this team has going on at WR, with Muhammed complimented by Joe Horn and Anquan Boldin...Jason Witten is better than this, right?...Priest Holmes isn't his usual self (though he's playing better than the man he was traded for last year) but is still a stud despite splitting carries...KPOBW: Jamal Lewis
News and Notes, KAA
Michael Vick is questionable with an injury, and his backup Joey Harrington is on a bye and is also bad at football; it's trouble unless a free agent alternative is picked up...Made (as always) a couple of big deals this week, acquring Braylon Edwards as a nod to the future, as well as Ahman Green and Michael Clayton (two other likely keepers) this week...Lost Antonio Gates and last week's hero Thomas Jones in the Green/Clayton deal, but still probably came out ahead because of the futures of the players received...Jerramy Stevens will be called upon to be the next Gates, for this team and the NFL, apparently...Could get a huge lift if DeShaun Foster takes away all of Stephen Davis' carries this week...Brandon Stokely goes as the Colts go, though he could be the last of the Colt's trio of WR to get heavily involved; look for this to be Reggie Wayne's week...Marcell Shipp is another gamble paying off nicely...all things considered, this team could have 4 RBs in the lineup that see serious time...KPOBW: Marcus Pollard?
Prediction: So many unknowns (health of Vick, Davis) make this the hardest game to call. Can I be ballsy and pick two upsets this week? Sure- KAA wins it unless FA can find some runners. Michael Clayton will have a big part in the win.
The 5 Hole:
Sex Panther (-38!) vs. Big Fat Guys
Only matchup of two winless teams (one expected, one shocking)...is this the start of a massive winning streak for SP? I think so...Will I stop asking myself questions? Probably not...There really isn't anything that interesting about this matchup...This is the first meeting between these two franchises...
News and Notes, SP
Dare I say it again? This is a must win for the Gun, simply because there will be no excuses for losing...the spread is 38, so unless Daunte Culpepper puts up -40, there will be no complaining...Retooled their starting linuep this week, dealing with KAA; their linuep is just stacked...Antonio Gates adds the whole "best player at a weak position" thing, while Thomas Jones is an enviable Flex player, especially if he can hold off Cedric Benson in real life...Cadillac Willams is simply amazing, he does not look like he's going to stop; he's everything Willis MaGahee was supposed to be this year...Speaking of Willis, he's still going to be a monster this season...Do you realize that both expansion teams passed on Steven Jackson twice each? More on the expansion team's beginner's follies later...Deion Branch's emergence will soften the blow of losing Clayton...KPOBW: None.
News and Notes, BFG
Before we rip, we show some love...Baron is a very smart man, and will make a great owner...he's already done some very nice things...Baron's activity has attributed to the league's uptick in trades, with 7 completed this year, compared with just 2 at this time last year...That being said, let's take a look at how the expansion teams used the picks that should have been their building blocks: Baron, hell bent on taking RBs and making them the core of his team, takes Tatum Bell (hmmm...) and Brian Westbrook (that's more like it). However, in taking Bell (who if he really wanted, could have had with the #1 in the overall draft) he passed on Steven Jackson, who will never be available for nothing again. Then, with the #1 in the overall, took Nate Burleson. Not bad, hasn't worked out. Then, trades Westbrook, his only solid runner, for Carson Palmer, who backs up the only spot where BFG was solidified...Curious. As far as KAA, they nabbed Antonio Gates and Reggie Wayne in the expansion draft, and shortly after traded them both to the Gun. They did get a nice return on both trades, however. Then, with the #2 pick in the overall, they selected Brett Farve, who was recently waived. Both teams are in decent shape, which is amazing seeing how catastrophic each team's first three players have turned out. (by the way, next time one of the expansions complains about RBs, remind them that either of them could have had Steven Jackson, Brian Westbrook and LaMont Jordan as their starters.)....Anyway, Baron needs a lot of help this week...KPOBW: None.
Prediction: SP in a walk. I can't honestly say that Baron covers. Sorry, B.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
The Keeper Dilemma
As a supplement to the top ten surprises and disappointments of the baseball season (see below), I sifted through the current rosters to try and determine the keeper situation for each team. The dilemmas are aplenty in baseball, where each team will get to keep six players, exposing one of them (and almost certainly losing them, if they have value) in the expansion draft.
I Love Matt Murton, being the best team in VUFSA, will most certainly have the toughest calls to make. While Vladimir Guerrero seems like a lock, pretty much everyone else is a tough call, especially considering that "sixth" spot. My suspicion is that his toughest calls will be threefold: which closer to keep (Brad Lidge, Jason Isringhausen or Francisco Rodriguez?), which starter to keep (Chris Carpenter, Pedro Martinez or Jake Peavy?) and which outfielder to keep (Jason Bay, Ichiro Suzuki or Manny Ramirez?) Even if you choose just one out of those three pools, he still has to determine whether to keep future superstar Joe Mauer, or stick to Miguel Tejada (very likely) and Carlos Delgado (iffy).
My picks right now: Guerrero, Lidge, Peavy, Tejada, Mauer, Bay (exposed)
Madd Skillz, It would be awfully difficult for Ed Schillinger to leave out any of his big three starters: Mark Prior, Johan Santana and Carlos Zambrano, but that leaves limited options for position player keeps. Mark Teixeira is certainly likely, since he has the talent of a future MVP, and Schillinger adores Michael Young. So who's No. 6? Carlos Beltran was his first overall choice but hasn't lived up to expectations. Morgan Ensberg had a breakout year. Jose Reyes is one of the most formidable stolen base threats in baseball. Outfielders Gary Sheffield and Carlos Lee are worthy of keeping around and so are Andy Pettitte and closer Joe Nathan.
My picks: Santana, Piror, Zambrano, Teixeira, Young, Ensberg (exposed)
Father Abraham doesn't have the pool that others have in the keeper department, especially if Roger Clemens decides to call it quits after this year. Albert Pujols is a slam dunk, and David Ortiz, also likely to be listed as a 1B, will make a guy like Richie Sexson expendable. Jason Varitek is one of the better catchers out there, and Mariano Rivera is the best closer. Jeff Francoeur and Melvin Mora will probably be the last call.
My picks: Pujols, Ortiz, Clemens, Rivera, Varitek, Mora (exposed)
Embrace a Bald Man also will be leaving bona fide superstars off the keeper list, with just too many close calls to firmly cement at this point. Certainly Miguel Cabrera is a slam dunk, with Derrek Lee not far behind. Keeping both Roy Oswalt and Roy Halladay will limit the number of spots to two for the following big four players: Rafael Furcal, Andruw Jones, Scott Rolen and Josh Beckett. Names like Marcus Giles, Travis Hafner, Jorge Cantu, Randy Johnson, Oliver Perez, Chad Cordero and CC Sabathia don't even make that conversation at this point.
My picks: Lee, Cabrera, Furcal, Oswalt, Halladay, Jones (exposed)
Thome's A Pud will be forced to pick between good young pitchers. Alex Rodriguez is a sure thing, and it seems likely that he will keep Ben Sheets and Rich Harden over Zach Duke and Brandon McCarthy, who are a touch less proven. Adam Dunn and Jim Edmonds are probably both worthy of consideration, but breakout players Chase Utley and Jhonny Peralta should also be given a glance. Trevor Hoffmann is also one of the better closers in baseball.
My picks: Rodriguez, Dunn, Edmonds, Sheets, Harden, Hoffman (exposed).
ChamPeons will be relying heavily on players who were disappointments this year due to injury, namely Jim Thome, Eric Gagne and maybe Ken Griffey, Jr. (who wasn't disappointing, but could be again). Derek Jeter and Ivan Rodriguez will get consdieration, and you would think two of his big three pitchers (Dontrelle Willis, Mark Buerhle, Barry Zito) will be kept. Coco Crisp and Adrian Beltre are also potential keepsakes. A.J. Burnett is right there as well.
My picks: Jeter, Willis, Buerhle, Gagne, Thome, Beltre (exposed)
Walgreen's Wolfmen may not have wanted Bartolo Colon when he was dealt a computer snafu during the early rounds of the draft, but the Cy Young candidate joins Bobby Abreu as the most likely keepers for Drew Wolf's crew. John Smoltz, barring his ever-present injury concerns, and Mark Mulder will probably be in a battle for a spot, as will the future at third base (David Wright) versus the present (Chipper Jones). Alfonso Soriano is one of the best offensive second basemen out there and Victor Martinez is one of the best catchers. You wouldn't think Torii Hunter would be in the mix (nor players like Nomar Garciaparra, Felipe Lopez or Denys Baez), but Hunter remains on Wolf's roster despite a year-end injury...meaning he could be kept.
My picks: Soriano, Wright, Abreu, Colon, Martinez, Smoltz (exposed).
Farns Equals Hero will also be looking for bounceback performances after injury, namely those to Jeremy Bonderman, Aramis Ramirez, Barry Bonds and Clint Barmes. The latter probably won't quite make it, with spots sure to be saved for Lance Berkman and Tim Hudson. Guys who could be on the outside looking in: Justin Morneau, Todd Helton, Huston Street, Mark Loretta and Carlos Guillen. Although, now that I've written it, I find it impossible that Helton won't be back to form next year.
My picks: Berkman, Bonds, Ramirez, Bonderman, Hudson, Helton (exposed).
I Love Matt Murton, being the best team in VUFSA, will most certainly have the toughest calls to make. While Vladimir Guerrero seems like a lock, pretty much everyone else is a tough call, especially considering that "sixth" spot. My suspicion is that his toughest calls will be threefold: which closer to keep (Brad Lidge, Jason Isringhausen or Francisco Rodriguez?), which starter to keep (Chris Carpenter, Pedro Martinez or Jake Peavy?) and which outfielder to keep (Jason Bay, Ichiro Suzuki or Manny Ramirez?) Even if you choose just one out of those three pools, he still has to determine whether to keep future superstar Joe Mauer, or stick to Miguel Tejada (very likely) and Carlos Delgado (iffy).
My picks right now: Guerrero, Lidge, Peavy, Tejada, Mauer, Bay (exposed)
Madd Skillz, It would be awfully difficult for Ed Schillinger to leave out any of his big three starters: Mark Prior, Johan Santana and Carlos Zambrano, but that leaves limited options for position player keeps. Mark Teixeira is certainly likely, since he has the talent of a future MVP, and Schillinger adores Michael Young. So who's No. 6? Carlos Beltran was his first overall choice but hasn't lived up to expectations. Morgan Ensberg had a breakout year. Jose Reyes is one of the most formidable stolen base threats in baseball. Outfielders Gary Sheffield and Carlos Lee are worthy of keeping around and so are Andy Pettitte and closer Joe Nathan.
My picks: Santana, Piror, Zambrano, Teixeira, Young, Ensberg (exposed)
Father Abraham doesn't have the pool that others have in the keeper department, especially if Roger Clemens decides to call it quits after this year. Albert Pujols is a slam dunk, and David Ortiz, also likely to be listed as a 1B, will make a guy like Richie Sexson expendable. Jason Varitek is one of the better catchers out there, and Mariano Rivera is the best closer. Jeff Francoeur and Melvin Mora will probably be the last call.
My picks: Pujols, Ortiz, Clemens, Rivera, Varitek, Mora (exposed)
Embrace a Bald Man also will be leaving bona fide superstars off the keeper list, with just too many close calls to firmly cement at this point. Certainly Miguel Cabrera is a slam dunk, with Derrek Lee not far behind. Keeping both Roy Oswalt and Roy Halladay will limit the number of spots to two for the following big four players: Rafael Furcal, Andruw Jones, Scott Rolen and Josh Beckett. Names like Marcus Giles, Travis Hafner, Jorge Cantu, Randy Johnson, Oliver Perez, Chad Cordero and CC Sabathia don't even make that conversation at this point.
My picks: Lee, Cabrera, Furcal, Oswalt, Halladay, Jones (exposed)
Thome's A Pud will be forced to pick between good young pitchers. Alex Rodriguez is a sure thing, and it seems likely that he will keep Ben Sheets and Rich Harden over Zach Duke and Brandon McCarthy, who are a touch less proven. Adam Dunn and Jim Edmonds are probably both worthy of consideration, but breakout players Chase Utley and Jhonny Peralta should also be given a glance. Trevor Hoffmann is also one of the better closers in baseball.
My picks: Rodriguez, Dunn, Edmonds, Sheets, Harden, Hoffman (exposed).
ChamPeons will be relying heavily on players who were disappointments this year due to injury, namely Jim Thome, Eric Gagne and maybe Ken Griffey, Jr. (who wasn't disappointing, but could be again). Derek Jeter and Ivan Rodriguez will get consdieration, and you would think two of his big three pitchers (Dontrelle Willis, Mark Buerhle, Barry Zito) will be kept. Coco Crisp and Adrian Beltre are also potential keepsakes. A.J. Burnett is right there as well.
My picks: Jeter, Willis, Buerhle, Gagne, Thome, Beltre (exposed)
Walgreen's Wolfmen may not have wanted Bartolo Colon when he was dealt a computer snafu during the early rounds of the draft, but the Cy Young candidate joins Bobby Abreu as the most likely keepers for Drew Wolf's crew. John Smoltz, barring his ever-present injury concerns, and Mark Mulder will probably be in a battle for a spot, as will the future at third base (David Wright) versus the present (Chipper Jones). Alfonso Soriano is one of the best offensive second basemen out there and Victor Martinez is one of the best catchers. You wouldn't think Torii Hunter would be in the mix (nor players like Nomar Garciaparra, Felipe Lopez or Denys Baez), but Hunter remains on Wolf's roster despite a year-end injury...meaning he could be kept.
My picks: Soriano, Wright, Abreu, Colon, Martinez, Smoltz (exposed).
Farns Equals Hero will also be looking for bounceback performances after injury, namely those to Jeremy Bonderman, Aramis Ramirez, Barry Bonds and Clint Barmes. The latter probably won't quite make it, with spots sure to be saved for Lance Berkman and Tim Hudson. Guys who could be on the outside looking in: Justin Morneau, Todd Helton, Huston Street, Mark Loretta and Carlos Guillen. Although, now that I've written it, I find it impossible that Helton won't be back to form next year.
My picks: Berkman, Bonds, Ramirez, Bonderman, Hudson, Helton (exposed).
Top Ten Baseball Disappointments/Surprises
The baseball season has long since ended, at least as far as overall winner goes, and so the time has come to see which players most disappointed or surprised in 2005. So here we have such a collection.
Disappointments:
1. Eric Gagne (13th overall pick), ChamPeons. Once the template of what a dominating closer should be, Gagne battled injury trouble and saw virtually no playing time in 2005. The Canadian threw exactly 13 1/3 innings this season, recording one lousy win, eight lousy saves and a mere 22 strikeouts. ChamPeons has thus been forced to use a disabled list spot for Gagne all year, with keeper considerations in mind.
2. Barry Bonds (26th overall pick), Farns Equals Hero. Getting him the fourth round meant Andrew Stem pulled what appeared to be an absolute steal. But anytime a top four pick sits out the entire season, save for the final two weeks, with injury troubles, it’s a considerable bust. It didn’t seem like a bad pick at the time, but it turned into a disaster.
3. Scott Rolen (14th overall pick), Embrace A Bald Man. Injuries and complete ineptitude made Rolen’s year a dreadful one, and it makes one wonder how the St. Louis Cardinals would have dominated if Rolen had been in peak form all season. He missed a month between May and June and was shut down for good July 22, hitting .235 with five home runs and 28 RBIs in the meantime.
4. Jim Thome (15th overall pick), Thome’s A Pud. A fitting reason for Andy Viano to change his team’s name to reflect what the second round pick provided him in 2005. Now a member of ChamPeons’ roster as a disabled keeper potential, Thome hit .207 with seven homers and 30 RBIs in 59 games this year, never playing again after July 1.
5. Carlos Beltran, (8th overall pick), Madd Skillz. Sure, he’s the only first rounder in the lot, but he isn’t placed higher because Skillz had to take him with the eighth overall pick – nobody would have played it any differently. It looked like a steal at the time, particularly considering Skillz got Johan Santana one pick later in the next round, but Beltran has been hideous in New York. He has only 15 home runs, 71 RBIs and perhaps most disappointing, just 17 stolen bases.
6. Adrian Beltre (20th overall pick), ChamPeons. The same team that had bad luck with Gagne missed again one round later with Beltre, who proved to be a one year wonder after an MVP-caliber season in 2004 as a Dodger. With the Mariners, Beltre has hit a meek .255 with 19 home runs and 82 RBIs, not terrible but certainly not worthy of his pre-season ranking.
7. Curt Schilling (21st overall pick), Walgreens Wolfmen. Injuries made this asshole have a terrible year, at least in terms of what was expected. To date, the right-hander has just seven wins and an ERA soaring over 5, although the nine saves was an unexpected benefit.
8. Oliver Perez (30th overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Last year’s up-and-coming flamethrower turned into an idiot who cost himself tons of playing time by kicking some dugout cart and breaking his toe. In the meantime, better and even younger options (Zach Duke, Paul Maholm) came to the forefront for the Pirates. Perez scuffled while actually on the mound as well, getting just six wins and posting an ERA over 6.
9. Nomar Garciaparra (28th overall pick), Walgreens Wolfmen. Seven home runs, 23 RBIs and a mortal .266 batting average isn’t terrible for a shortstop, but it’s far below what was expected from the Cubs infielder. Of course, a significant injury that lasted from April 22 to August 6 had everything to do with that.
10. Keith Foulke (42nd overall pick), Farns Equals Hero. Foulke narrowly edges out fellow sixth-round choices Eric Chavez and Aubrey Huff for this honor, for the reason that Foulke played terribly, and then didn’t play at all. Foulke saved 15 ballgames but carried an ERA near 6 before going on the DL on July 7 and not re-appearing until early September, in a limited role.
Surprises:
1. Chris Carpenter (107th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. It wasn’t a super late pick, but anytime you can wait 100 guys and then pick up the frontrunner for the NL Cy Young, you may have pulled just a tiny bit of a steal. Carpenter has an unpossible 21-4 record with over 200 strikeouts and an ERA of 2.42 despite just not being that good.
2. Brian Roberts (166th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. He may have recently been injured forever, but the Orioles second baseman quickly became one of the most surprising players in baseball with a tremendous first half. The AL starter in the All-Star game finished the year hitting .314 with 18 homers, 73 RBIs, and 92 runs scored, all solid for a 2B. He also stole 27 bases.
3. Dontrelle Willis (undrafted), ChamPeons. It was perhaps the most interesting waiver claim of the year, dropping Jon Garland in favor of Willis, who somehow slipped past the draft’s 24 rounds. The left-hander has 21-9 record and 2.48 ERA for Champ…even if he could have dumped someone less valuable than …
4. Jon Garland (188th overall pick), ChamPeons. Father Abraham turned out to be the lucky recipient of the White Sox hurler, who has a slight say in the AL Cy Young race. Despite trailing off a bit, he has 17 wins and a 3.51 ERA for the team destined to choke away their surefire playoff spot.
5. Chad Cordero (163rd overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Nobody expected the Nationals to win many games, but Cordero has saved 100 percent of them. While that may be hyperbole, the closer has a surprising 46 saves and 1.84 ERA this year for the Nationals, a breakout year that has launched him into the closing elite.
6. Chase Utley (179th overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Utley turned out to be a breakout player, though he was dumped early and became a key member of Thome’s A Pud. He’s hitting .282 with 90 RBIs, 80 runs and 14 stolen bases, admirable out of a second baseman.
7. Andy Pettitte (136th overall pick), Madd Skillz. The most impressive part was Skillz hanging on to Pettitte after a slow start in the wins category, despite solid overall numbers. Lately, the left-hander has been a central part of the Houston surge into the Wild Card lead, and his overall numbers now include a 17-9 record and 2.45 ERA.
8. Derrek Lee (54th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. I think everyone believed it was too high to take Lee here, except Eli Gieryna, who subsequently got an MVP-like season before trading Lee in August. His silly numbers include a .338 average, 44 home runs, 103 RBIs and 115 runs scored, with 15 stolen bases for measure.
9. Andruw Jones (100th overall pick), ChamPeons. Another solid player given away by Champ, who dumped Jones after a terrible start. Embrace a Bald Man caught a lucky break on the pickup, as Jones has advanced to become a frontrunner for the National League MVP. The outfielder has a Majors-leading 50 home runs with 126 RBIs.
10. Derrick Turnbow (undrafted), Father Abraham. Coming out of nowhere to become a formidable closing threat, Turnbow has 33 saves, a 7-1 record and 1.73 ERA for the Brewers. Lincoln had him after a May 2 pickup, but he was moved to Thome’s A Pud as part of a June 10 trade. Kenny Rogers and Dustin Hermanson could have also made this list as undrafted pickups.
Disappointments:
1. Eric Gagne (13th overall pick), ChamPeons. Once the template of what a dominating closer should be, Gagne battled injury trouble and saw virtually no playing time in 2005. The Canadian threw exactly 13 1/3 innings this season, recording one lousy win, eight lousy saves and a mere 22 strikeouts. ChamPeons has thus been forced to use a disabled list spot for Gagne all year, with keeper considerations in mind.
2. Barry Bonds (26th overall pick), Farns Equals Hero. Getting him the fourth round meant Andrew Stem pulled what appeared to be an absolute steal. But anytime a top four pick sits out the entire season, save for the final two weeks, with injury troubles, it’s a considerable bust. It didn’t seem like a bad pick at the time, but it turned into a disaster.
3. Scott Rolen (14th overall pick), Embrace A Bald Man. Injuries and complete ineptitude made Rolen’s year a dreadful one, and it makes one wonder how the St. Louis Cardinals would have dominated if Rolen had been in peak form all season. He missed a month between May and June and was shut down for good July 22, hitting .235 with five home runs and 28 RBIs in the meantime.
4. Jim Thome (15th overall pick), Thome’s A Pud. A fitting reason for Andy Viano to change his team’s name to reflect what the second round pick provided him in 2005. Now a member of ChamPeons’ roster as a disabled keeper potential, Thome hit .207 with seven homers and 30 RBIs in 59 games this year, never playing again after July 1.
5. Carlos Beltran, (8th overall pick), Madd Skillz. Sure, he’s the only first rounder in the lot, but he isn’t placed higher because Skillz had to take him with the eighth overall pick – nobody would have played it any differently. It looked like a steal at the time, particularly considering Skillz got Johan Santana one pick later in the next round, but Beltran has been hideous in New York. He has only 15 home runs, 71 RBIs and perhaps most disappointing, just 17 stolen bases.
6. Adrian Beltre (20th overall pick), ChamPeons. The same team that had bad luck with Gagne missed again one round later with Beltre, who proved to be a one year wonder after an MVP-caliber season in 2004 as a Dodger. With the Mariners, Beltre has hit a meek .255 with 19 home runs and 82 RBIs, not terrible but certainly not worthy of his pre-season ranking.
7. Curt Schilling (21st overall pick), Walgreens Wolfmen. Injuries made this asshole have a terrible year, at least in terms of what was expected. To date, the right-hander has just seven wins and an ERA soaring over 5, although the nine saves was an unexpected benefit.
8. Oliver Perez (30th overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Last year’s up-and-coming flamethrower turned into an idiot who cost himself tons of playing time by kicking some dugout cart and breaking his toe. In the meantime, better and even younger options (Zach Duke, Paul Maholm) came to the forefront for the Pirates. Perez scuffled while actually on the mound as well, getting just six wins and posting an ERA over 6.
9. Nomar Garciaparra (28th overall pick), Walgreens Wolfmen. Seven home runs, 23 RBIs and a mortal .266 batting average isn’t terrible for a shortstop, but it’s far below what was expected from the Cubs infielder. Of course, a significant injury that lasted from April 22 to August 6 had everything to do with that.
10. Keith Foulke (42nd overall pick), Farns Equals Hero. Foulke narrowly edges out fellow sixth-round choices Eric Chavez and Aubrey Huff for this honor, for the reason that Foulke played terribly, and then didn’t play at all. Foulke saved 15 ballgames but carried an ERA near 6 before going on the DL on July 7 and not re-appearing until early September, in a limited role.
Surprises:
1. Chris Carpenter (107th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. It wasn’t a super late pick, but anytime you can wait 100 guys and then pick up the frontrunner for the NL Cy Young, you may have pulled just a tiny bit of a steal. Carpenter has an unpossible 21-4 record with over 200 strikeouts and an ERA of 2.42 despite just not being that good.
2. Brian Roberts (166th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. He may have recently been injured forever, but the Orioles second baseman quickly became one of the most surprising players in baseball with a tremendous first half. The AL starter in the All-Star game finished the year hitting .314 with 18 homers, 73 RBIs, and 92 runs scored, all solid for a 2B. He also stole 27 bases.
3. Dontrelle Willis (undrafted), ChamPeons. It was perhaps the most interesting waiver claim of the year, dropping Jon Garland in favor of Willis, who somehow slipped past the draft’s 24 rounds. The left-hander has 21-9 record and 2.48 ERA for Champ…even if he could have dumped someone less valuable than …
4. Jon Garland (188th overall pick), ChamPeons. Father Abraham turned out to be the lucky recipient of the White Sox hurler, who has a slight say in the AL Cy Young race. Despite trailing off a bit, he has 17 wins and a 3.51 ERA for the team destined to choke away their surefire playoff spot.
5. Chad Cordero (163rd overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Nobody expected the Nationals to win many games, but Cordero has saved 100 percent of them. While that may be hyperbole, the closer has a surprising 46 saves and 1.84 ERA this year for the Nationals, a breakout year that has launched him into the closing elite.
6. Chase Utley (179th overall pick), Embrace a Bald Man. Utley turned out to be a breakout player, though he was dumped early and became a key member of Thome’s A Pud. He’s hitting .282 with 90 RBIs, 80 runs and 14 stolen bases, admirable out of a second baseman.
7. Andy Pettitte (136th overall pick), Madd Skillz. The most impressive part was Skillz hanging on to Pettitte after a slow start in the wins category, despite solid overall numbers. Lately, the left-hander has been a central part of the Houston surge into the Wild Card lead, and his overall numbers now include a 17-9 record and 2.45 ERA.
8. Derrek Lee (54th overall pick), I Love Matt Murton. I think everyone believed it was too high to take Lee here, except Eli Gieryna, who subsequently got an MVP-like season before trading Lee in August. His silly numbers include a .338 average, 44 home runs, 103 RBIs and 115 runs scored, with 15 stolen bases for measure.
9. Andruw Jones (100th overall pick), ChamPeons. Another solid player given away by Champ, who dumped Jones after a terrible start. Embrace a Bald Man caught a lucky break on the pickup, as Jones has advanced to become a frontrunner for the National League MVP. The outfielder has a Majors-leading 50 home runs with 126 RBIs.
10. Derrick Turnbow (undrafted), Father Abraham. Coming out of nowhere to become a formidable closing threat, Turnbow has 33 saves, a 7-1 record and 1.73 ERA for the Brewers. Lincoln had him after a May 2 pickup, but he was moved to Thome’s A Pud as part of a June 10 trade. Kenny Rogers and Dustin Hermanson could have also made this list as undrafted pickups.
Week 2 Power Rankings
One man's opinion of how the league stacks up after 2 games:
1. Madd Skillz (2-0)
-One of three undefeateds, ranks #1 in points scored this season. Tough stretch of games upcoming will make this squad earn their spot at the top every week.
2. Cellar Dwellers (2-0)
-Cellar Dwellers will have a 'prove it' game against the Octagon next week for the right to remain undefeated. Shaun Alexander is rolling, and as soon as Kevin Jones does the same, this team could stay here a long time.
3. The Octagon (2-0)
-I really didn't want to do this. #8 in the league in points? Should be behind Fred Lane's Wife, right? FLW scored just 62 points this week. Champeons is out to a stellar start- but OCT oustcored them in week 2. Father Abraham makes a strong case for this spot, but OCT beat them head-to-head. Factually, I can't put this team lower than any of the defeated, but man do I want to.
4. Fred Lane's Wife (1-1)
-Can't forget week 1 explosion, and we're willing to overlook the letdown in week 2. This is still a fearsome team, with the second highest point total in the league. Toss up in this spot with Champeons, one that will be settled on the virtual field next week.
5. Champeons (1-1)
-Still my sleeper pick for the playoffs. Hurts bad to play the team with the biggest week, but that will happen to everyone at least once. Collins-Moss proving to be as reliable as one could have dreamed. Playoff aspirations will leap to expectations with a win next week.
6. Father Abraham (1-1)
-Monster week vaults them into contention. Things went well this week, but this team is on shaky ground if Jamal Lewis keeps averaging less than a yard per carry. Thought about putting them below one of the 0-2s, but the point spread is too significant to justify it.
t-7. Blaine Browns (0-2)
-Yes, a winless team above a 1-win team isn't really fair, but we're not looking at this from a pure standings point of view. Browns are missing their #2 back right now (has anyone seen Curtis Martin lately?) and it shows. The hard-luck loss this week (100+ points) shows that this team is far better than its record. A win against SKL next week is huge. A loss is, well...huge as well.
t-7. Sex Panther (0-2)
-I understand that they lost a head-to-head with a team lower on the list. Even given that fact, I would have had them as high as 5 if their point total (173) deserved to be. They have that much talent, and are too dangerous to forget about. A simple win next week probably vaults them into the top half.
9. Ken's Anal Adventure (1-1)
-Big win for the expansion club, who will scrape out a few more. Still, overall talent level is not up with the rest of the league; but the margin is shrinking. Conventional wisdom says that they won't do much for the rest of the year, but beating SP is no small task. Is there enough room in that house for two playoff teams?
10. Big Fat Guys (0-2)
-Week 3 does not bode well, as a wounded Panther comes to town looking to tear into the meaty flesh of this squad. Team holds a nice bargaining chip with a surplus of good QBs, but playing only one at a time won't translate into wins.
1. Madd Skillz (2-0)
-One of three undefeateds, ranks #1 in points scored this season. Tough stretch of games upcoming will make this squad earn their spot at the top every week.
2. Cellar Dwellers (2-0)
-Cellar Dwellers will have a 'prove it' game against the Octagon next week for the right to remain undefeated. Shaun Alexander is rolling, and as soon as Kevin Jones does the same, this team could stay here a long time.
3. The Octagon (2-0)
-I really didn't want to do this. #8 in the league in points? Should be behind Fred Lane's Wife, right? FLW scored just 62 points this week. Champeons is out to a stellar start- but OCT oustcored them in week 2. Father Abraham makes a strong case for this spot, but OCT beat them head-to-head. Factually, I can't put this team lower than any of the defeated, but man do I want to.
4. Fred Lane's Wife (1-1)
-Can't forget week 1 explosion, and we're willing to overlook the letdown in week 2. This is still a fearsome team, with the second highest point total in the league. Toss up in this spot with Champeons, one that will be settled on the virtual field next week.
5. Champeons (1-1)
-Still my sleeper pick for the playoffs. Hurts bad to play the team with the biggest week, but that will happen to everyone at least once. Collins-Moss proving to be as reliable as one could have dreamed. Playoff aspirations will leap to expectations with a win next week.
6. Father Abraham (1-1)
-Monster week vaults them into contention. Things went well this week, but this team is on shaky ground if Jamal Lewis keeps averaging less than a yard per carry. Thought about putting them below one of the 0-2s, but the point spread is too significant to justify it.
t-7. Blaine Browns (0-2)
-Yes, a winless team above a 1-win team isn't really fair, but we're not looking at this from a pure standings point of view. Browns are missing their #2 back right now (has anyone seen Curtis Martin lately?) and it shows. The hard-luck loss this week (100+ points) shows that this team is far better than its record. A win against SKL next week is huge. A loss is, well...huge as well.
t-7. Sex Panther (0-2)
-I understand that they lost a head-to-head with a team lower on the list. Even given that fact, I would have had them as high as 5 if their point total (173) deserved to be. They have that much talent, and are too dangerous to forget about. A simple win next week probably vaults them into the top half.
9. Ken's Anal Adventure (1-1)
-Big win for the expansion club, who will scrape out a few more. Still, overall talent level is not up with the rest of the league; but the margin is shrinking. Conventional wisdom says that they won't do much for the rest of the year, but beating SP is no small task. Is there enough room in that house for two playoff teams?
10. Big Fat Guys (0-2)
-Week 3 does not bode well, as a wounded Panther comes to town looking to tear into the meaty flesh of this squad. Team holds a nice bargaining chip with a surplus of good QBs, but playing only one at a time won't translate into wins.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Winless Wonders
The Big Fat Guys 0-2
<>-Marc Bulger is averaging nearly 300 yards a game and has thrown 3 TDs giving BFGs a double digit boost each of the first two weeks. He hasn’t been spectacular, but looking at the woes of Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and Daunte Culpepper a solid quarterback should be appreciated. Should Bulger begin to go downhill, Brendel has an emerging superstar in the wings with the recent acquisition of Carson Palmer. The QB slot is a strong one, and is likely a source of a keeper heading into 2006.
<>-Brian Westbrook has been the anchor of the club leading the team in scoring the past week and was second only to Bulger in week one. A 15+ point outing was becoming a sure thing before BFGs moved Westbrook to The Penis Pansies, er Octagon. <>-For starters the two preseason drafts didn’t bring in the players that it could have. In drafting Tatum Bell in the expansion draft, Brendel passed on Steven Jackson.
Sex Panther 0-2
VUFSA is lucky to still have this franchise after all accounts had The Gun killing himself over an insane ending to the ’05 season where he missed the playoffs by the narrowest of margins. Geared up with a loaded offense, Sex Panther was in prime position to come out of the gates roaring, but instead has been purring.
<>What has gone right? <>Quietly, Mike Vanderjagt has disappointed. The Colts haven’t been scoring meaning the extra points have not been coming. Sure he’s kicked two field goals in two games, but when drafting a top tier kicker as a part of a top tier offense, 10 points probably isn’t what SP had in mind. That slow-to-start Colts offense also kept Reggie Wayne to just 1.5 points in week two.
The Browns have played well, but not well enough. In week one, they were destroyed in a violent conjugal visit by
For starters Curtis Martin’s MRI was negative.
<>Tuesday, September 20, 2005
VUFSA: Week two
Week two is in the books and we’re already 12.5 percent done with the season.
Everyone panic!!!
Maybe that’s just me.
I decided to bring in a special guest to help analyze all the teams this week, since week two is often when things start to shake out a little bit. I’m pleased to welcome ESPN’s John Clayton to the VUFSA media outlet.
He’ll be weighing in with his take on things after each summary. On to the results:
======
Cellar Dwellers: 102.75 points
Blaine Browns: 101.25 points
Cellar Dwellers (2-0): Barring any late scoring changes, Cellar Dwellers eeks out a close win over the Browns on a late sack (who says defense doesn’t matter?) by Roy Williams on Monday Night Football. Behind Shaun Alexander (22.00 points) and LaMont Jordan (15.00 points), this team will always be right there each week. CD has also benefited from Randy McMichael (13 points) stepping up big in Nick Saban’s new offense.
Best move: Keeping the Lions' Roy Williams in his lineup after a poor first week showing.
Worst move: Jake Delhomme over Byron Leftwich (again)
John Clayton says: Byron Leftwich and I had a little fight when I was on the sidelines this week
Blaine Browns (0-2): A real tough luck week for the Browns, who became the first Thunder victim of the ’05 campaign. Really suffered from the poor play of Drew Brees (0.75 points), but did have bright spots from Terrell Owens (21.50), Donald Driver (14.00 points) and Edgerrin James (14 points). With Javon Walker’s injury, and the awful Packers defense, Driver is now looking like a top 15 receiver. Should continue to stay right in the race all year, especially if Brees picks things back up.
Best move: Letting Drew Bennett (3.50 points) sit against Baltimore.
Worst move: Also letting T.J. Houshmanzadeh (18.50 points) sit this week.
John Clayton says: I have $6 on me ... how much Sudafed can I buy at Walgreens for that?
======
Ken’s ... (sigh) Anal Adventure: 95.25 points
Sex Panther: 85.75 points
KAA (1-1): Boldly tells newly-married Baron to "suck on that" after landing the first win by an expansion team in VUFSA history. Has been extremely active thus far, having made 24 waiver moves as of this writing. The activity paid off as new acquisitions Thomas Jones (26 points) and Michael Vick (14.75 points) led KAA to a win. Was also aided by little J.J. Arrington’s upset tummy, as Marcel Shipp stepped in and picked up 8.50 points.
Best move: Feverish activity that netted several key contributors.
Worst move: None, really. Got nearly optimal production from the players who started for him.
John Clayton says: Ken’s adventure has nothing on my exploits, many of which were filmed in the late ’70s.
Sex Panther (0-2): The story here is the continued wretched play of Daunte Culpepper. The quarterback managed to at least hit positive numbers this week (3.75 points), but he yet again cost Sex Panther a win. Cadillac Williams (18 points) and Steven Jackson (16 points) continue to be studs, but team needs Culpepper and Willis McGahee to get rolling as well if they have serious title hopes.
Best move: Sticking with Williams against an upper-tier Buffalo defense.
Worst move: Trading with KAA just days before the two teams met.
John Clayton says: Has anyone noticed that Sex Panther mirrors the team his quarterback plays for? Lots of preseason hype, plenty of talent ... but the results are never there? However, he smells like pure gasoline, and I like that.
========
Madd Skillz: 110.25 points
Big Fat Guys: 72.50 points
Madd Skillz (2-0): Another big week from Ed as he ascends into first place. Never really threatened by BFG, but did experience some initial fear, saying early on that "Marc Bulger is on pace to throw 67 TDs." Got a huge week from Chad Johnson (15.50 points) and a typical good performance from LDT (17.00 points). Also received double digit scores from Tom Brady, Lavaerneus Coles and Larry Johnson. Appears to have the leg up on the No. 1 seed in the early going.
Best move: Snatching Larry Johnson in the draft a bit earlier than anyone else was willing to – seems to be paying off now.
Worst move: Starting Fred Taylor (9.50) at Flex over Domanick Davis (14.00 points).
John Clayton says: Nevermind the win. Ed managed to accomplish his apparent No. 1 priority of this season this week: trading away Keary Colbert. Kudos to you, Skillz.
Big Fat Guys (0-2): One of three winless teams, BFG experienced major struggles in week two. Marc Bulger disappointed against Arizona and Brian Westbrook (16.00) was the only solid performance for this team. Westbrook was traded away tonight, so this team now has huge holes at running back. They are, however, represented by a true big, fat guy at the position: 375 pound Brandon Jacobs, who scored a goal line touchdown on Monday night.
Best move: With all due respect, there wasn’t much that qualifies this week.
Worst move: Terry Glenn (14 points) lit up Washington from the bench for BFG.
John Clayton says: My crystal ball says that Baron will experience much better luck week against Sex Panther when Jeb Putzier and Chris Chambers combine for an inexplicable 94.75 points.
========
Father Abraham: 133.75 points
ChamPeons: 85.25 points
Father Abraham (1-1): Massive week for Lincoln, led by 38.75 points from Donovan McNabb, who looked like Manning and Culpepper used to. Didn’t stop there, getting a big Monday game from Joe Horn (17.50 points), Priest Holmes (14.50) and Stephen Davis (22.450), who has been the surprise of the year thus far. Team has a lot of weapons, and could become extremely formidable if Jamal Lewis gets on track.
Best move: Not letting William Green anywhere near the starting lineup.
Worst move: Ronald Curry (1 point) over Muhsin Muhammad (13 points)
John Clayton says: I have an exclusive, late-breaking scoop that Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens are not speaking. I think this will really harm McNabb against San Francisco. Let’s send it now down to the sideline to everyone’s favorite dragon lady, Suzy Kolber.
ChamPeons (1-1): A solid week from the ChamPeons, who played well enough to beat some teams, but not nearly enough to knock off Father Abraham. The Kerry Collins and Randy Moss combo was good (28.75 total points) and Derrick Mason is quieting some doubters after another big game for Baltimore. ChamPeons still suffers from a lack of running back depth, but Portis and Julius Jones are fine anchors in that department.
Best move: Drafting Mason is looking like a very good move as of now.
Worst move: Keyshawn Johnson in the flex spot.
John Clayton says: I could watch Julius Jones run allllllll day in those silver pants. Delicious.
========
The Octagon: 89.50
Fred Lane’s Wife: 62.25 points
The Octagon (2-0): Fewest Points of Any Winner comes away with another week of having the fewest points of any winner. FPOAW got a big Thunder performance from Tiki Barber (20.50) to cement his victory over Fred Lane’s Wife. Owner must also be pleased with Hines Ward breaking back out for 19 points. Running back position was a concern, but a deal for Brian Westbrook tonight should help in that regard.
Best move: Getting J.J. Arrington out of the lineup.
Worst move: Playing Chester Taylor. Ever.
John Clayton says: Does anyone else think I look like a bird?
Fred Lane’s Wife (1-1): Wow, yet again. Viano comes up with barely one-third of his point total from last week, mustering what appears to be the lowest point total in VUFSA history. Outside of Willie Parker, nine other offensive players totaled just 34.25 points – and this included a kicker who had nine points. However, as Fred Lane’s Wife demonstrated last week, the team is capable of putting up gigantic numbers. It’s a safe bet that every other total from here on out will fall in between his first two weeks.
Best move: Still waiver wire Willie.
Worst move: Eric Parker (2.50) points over Robert Ferguson (10.50 points)
John Clayton says: Conjugal visits with Fred Lane’s wife? Oh yeah, I’ve been there.
Everyone panic!!!
Maybe that’s just me.
I decided to bring in a special guest to help analyze all the teams this week, since week two is often when things start to shake out a little bit. I’m pleased to welcome ESPN’s John Clayton to the VUFSA media outlet.
He’ll be weighing in with his take on things after each summary. On to the results:
======
Cellar Dwellers: 102.75 points
Blaine Browns: 101.25 points
Cellar Dwellers (2-0): Barring any late scoring changes, Cellar Dwellers eeks out a close win over the Browns on a late sack (who says defense doesn’t matter?) by Roy Williams on Monday Night Football. Behind Shaun Alexander (22.00 points) and LaMont Jordan (15.00 points), this team will always be right there each week. CD has also benefited from Randy McMichael (13 points) stepping up big in Nick Saban’s new offense.
Best move: Keeping the Lions' Roy Williams in his lineup after a poor first week showing.
Worst move: Jake Delhomme over Byron Leftwich (again)
John Clayton says: Byron Leftwich and I had a little fight when I was on the sidelines this week
Blaine Browns (0-2): A real tough luck week for the Browns, who became the first Thunder victim of the ’05 campaign. Really suffered from the poor play of Drew Brees (0.75 points), but did have bright spots from Terrell Owens (21.50), Donald Driver (14.00 points) and Edgerrin James (14 points). With Javon Walker’s injury, and the awful Packers defense, Driver is now looking like a top 15 receiver. Should continue to stay right in the race all year, especially if Brees picks things back up.
Best move: Letting Drew Bennett (3.50 points) sit against Baltimore.
Worst move: Also letting T.J. Houshmanzadeh (18.50 points) sit this week.
John Clayton says: I have $6 on me ... how much Sudafed can I buy at Walgreens for that?
======
Ken’s ... (sigh) Anal Adventure: 95.25 points
Sex Panther: 85.75 points
KAA (1-1): Boldly tells newly-married Baron to "suck on that" after landing the first win by an expansion team in VUFSA history. Has been extremely active thus far, having made 24 waiver moves as of this writing. The activity paid off as new acquisitions Thomas Jones (26 points) and Michael Vick (14.75 points) led KAA to a win. Was also aided by little J.J. Arrington’s upset tummy, as Marcel Shipp stepped in and picked up 8.50 points.
Best move: Feverish activity that netted several key contributors.
Worst move: None, really. Got nearly optimal production from the players who started for him.
John Clayton says: Ken’s adventure has nothing on my exploits, many of which were filmed in the late ’70s.
Sex Panther (0-2): The story here is the continued wretched play of Daunte Culpepper. The quarterback managed to at least hit positive numbers this week (3.75 points), but he yet again cost Sex Panther a win. Cadillac Williams (18 points) and Steven Jackson (16 points) continue to be studs, but team needs Culpepper and Willis McGahee to get rolling as well if they have serious title hopes.
Best move: Sticking with Williams against an upper-tier Buffalo defense.
Worst move: Trading with KAA just days before the two teams met.
John Clayton says: Has anyone noticed that Sex Panther mirrors the team his quarterback plays for? Lots of preseason hype, plenty of talent ... but the results are never there? However, he smells like pure gasoline, and I like that.
========
Madd Skillz: 110.25 points
Big Fat Guys: 72.50 points
Madd Skillz (2-0): Another big week from Ed as he ascends into first place. Never really threatened by BFG, but did experience some initial fear, saying early on that "Marc Bulger is on pace to throw 67 TDs." Got a huge week from Chad Johnson (15.50 points) and a typical good performance from LDT (17.00 points). Also received double digit scores from Tom Brady, Lavaerneus Coles and Larry Johnson. Appears to have the leg up on the No. 1 seed in the early going.
Best move: Snatching Larry Johnson in the draft a bit earlier than anyone else was willing to – seems to be paying off now.
Worst move: Starting Fred Taylor (9.50) at Flex over Domanick Davis (14.00 points).
John Clayton says: Nevermind the win. Ed managed to accomplish his apparent No. 1 priority of this season this week: trading away Keary Colbert. Kudos to you, Skillz.
Big Fat Guys (0-2): One of three winless teams, BFG experienced major struggles in week two. Marc Bulger disappointed against Arizona and Brian Westbrook (16.00) was the only solid performance for this team. Westbrook was traded away tonight, so this team now has huge holes at running back. They are, however, represented by a true big, fat guy at the position: 375 pound Brandon Jacobs, who scored a goal line touchdown on Monday night.
Best move: With all due respect, there wasn’t much that qualifies this week.
Worst move: Terry Glenn (14 points) lit up Washington from the bench for BFG.
John Clayton says: My crystal ball says that Baron will experience much better luck week against Sex Panther when Jeb Putzier and Chris Chambers combine for an inexplicable 94.75 points.
========
Father Abraham: 133.75 points
ChamPeons: 85.25 points
Father Abraham (1-1): Massive week for Lincoln, led by 38.75 points from Donovan McNabb, who looked like Manning and Culpepper used to. Didn’t stop there, getting a big Monday game from Joe Horn (17.50 points), Priest Holmes (14.50) and Stephen Davis (22.450), who has been the surprise of the year thus far. Team has a lot of weapons, and could become extremely formidable if Jamal Lewis gets on track.
Best move: Not letting William Green anywhere near the starting lineup.
Worst move: Ronald Curry (1 point) over Muhsin Muhammad (13 points)
John Clayton says: I have an exclusive, late-breaking scoop that Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens are not speaking. I think this will really harm McNabb against San Francisco. Let’s send it now down to the sideline to everyone’s favorite dragon lady, Suzy Kolber.
ChamPeons (1-1): A solid week from the ChamPeons, who played well enough to beat some teams, but not nearly enough to knock off Father Abraham. The Kerry Collins and Randy Moss combo was good (28.75 total points) and Derrick Mason is quieting some doubters after another big game for Baltimore. ChamPeons still suffers from a lack of running back depth, but Portis and Julius Jones are fine anchors in that department.
Best move: Drafting Mason is looking like a very good move as of now.
Worst move: Keyshawn Johnson in the flex spot.
John Clayton says: I could watch Julius Jones run allllllll day in those silver pants. Delicious.
========
The Octagon: 89.50
Fred Lane’s Wife: 62.25 points
The Octagon (2-0): Fewest Points of Any Winner comes away with another week of having the fewest points of any winner. FPOAW got a big Thunder performance from Tiki Barber (20.50) to cement his victory over Fred Lane’s Wife. Owner must also be pleased with Hines Ward breaking back out for 19 points. Running back position was a concern, but a deal for Brian Westbrook tonight should help in that regard.
Best move: Getting J.J. Arrington out of the lineup.
Worst move: Playing Chester Taylor. Ever.
John Clayton says: Does anyone else think I look like a bird?
Fred Lane’s Wife (1-1): Wow, yet again. Viano comes up with barely one-third of his point total from last week, mustering what appears to be the lowest point total in VUFSA history. Outside of Willie Parker, nine other offensive players totaled just 34.25 points – and this included a kicker who had nine points. However, as Fred Lane’s Wife demonstrated last week, the team is capable of putting up gigantic numbers. It’s a safe bet that every other total from here on out will fall in between his first two weeks.
Best move: Still waiver wire Willie.
Worst move: Eric Parker (2.50) points over Robert Ferguson (10.50 points)
John Clayton says: Conjugal visits with Fred Lane’s wife? Oh yeah, I’ve been there.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Top Ten Team Names
Many "Top Ten" concepts need a few weeks to materialize, so the first few weeks are kind of hard to chronicle. So let's take a look at the team names, in this blissful football season, and my ranking of the best.
10. Madd Skillz. Sure, he may be one of the best owners in the league, but his team name is sort of blah. A slight play on his own name with some infused hip-hop ... it's not bad, just not as strong as others in the league. Of course, the dude runs the damn league, so he has other things to worry about than a creative team name. Rejected names: The Brad Spata Express, Lost Touch With Reality, Oakes Tornadoes, I Din' Kill Nobody.
9. Blaine Browns. The simple combination of Drew Wolf's hometown and his favorite football team makes this name a fairly simple choice, although with the new Vikings stadium potentially being built by his house, the "Blaine Vikings" may not be out of the question in the near future. Plenty of room for creative overhaul here, but it works. Rejected Names: Stuart Scott's Doo-Rag, Pharmacy Keys, Son Abraham, Yeah! Personal Hell!
8. ChamPeons. We all get the play on words, although Champ will try to break out of being the "Peon" after a rough go through the first VUFSA season. Brent "The Champ" Whitlock has also stood by the name through thick and thin even though he's one of the most deal-happy, fluid managers among the 10. Rejected names: Mike Deityka, Bears and Boobs, Hawkeye of the Tiger.
7. Cellar Dwellars. Andrew Stem looks to invoke the "defuse the bomb" theory and move up in the standings by calling his team what it was in previous years -- a bottom feeder. So far so good, coincidentally, and you have to love Stem's tongue-in-cheek approach to his first year struggles. We all still love Stem, regardless of what happens. Rejected names: Drive My Lloyd Carr, Lions and Tigers and Bears, Did I Honestly Keep Jake Delhomme?
6. Father Abraham. I never understood the background behind the "Abraham" usage, but it has a fairly wise ring to it. The oldest member of the league (and only father, unless LaVicka accidentally spawned) has stood by his name through all league play and is stoic in his fatherly wisdom. Rejected names: None.
Interlude: Sean Salisbury is a dingus.
5. Big Fat Guys. One of many "old reliables" on the list, Baron has always resorted to the beauty of the rotund. And hey this is football, so while most of fantasy football deals with the thinnest of those on the field, the game is designed for Big Fat Guys. And the line "what do you want from me? I'm just a fat guy" still makes me chuckle. Rejected names: Jay Fiedler's Bitches, Ken Griffey's ACL, Newsbreak.
4. The Octagon. Ah yes, "Anchorman." Though the team name would have been better served as "Dr. Kenneth Noisewater," the name of Brian Fantana's right testicle in the film, such a long phrase would not fit. Thus JR Radcliffe settled on the adopted name of Fantana's penis. His team is thus named after a penis. There's plenty of jokes to be harvested, especially as the team wins games every week despite being among the worst teams in the league. Rejected names: I Totally Paused, Como Estas Bitches, I Love Lamp, Damn You Chuck Norris.
3. Sex Panther. I admit the "Anchorman" references spiraled out of control before the season, but knowing that Eli is a "sex panther" furthers his clever use of this name. The title is drawn from the putrid-smelling cologne employed by Brian Fantana in the film, and so far Daunte Culpepper's performance has fit the part for Eli, leading others to note that he looks "like Bigfoot's Dick" and has played "like a turd covered in burnt hair." Rejected names: Smelly Pirate Hooker, It's the Pleats, Great Odin's Raven, MATT MURTON!
2. Ken's Anal Adventure. Is it appropriate? Of course not. Is it better than the original title of "Pat Tillman's Widow?" Absolutely. In the end, it fits very well, giving league members the chance to contemplate what sort of adventure Ken is undertaking involving a sphincter, probably Dave's. And it offers a nice touch of the co-owners' "Fuck All Y'All" attitude. I like it. Rejected titles include: I'm So Awesome, Ozzie's El Collapso, Bondo and the Asians, and Ken's Angry Midget Circus.
1. Fred Lane's Wife. There's something entirely endearing about naming your team after a convicted murderer, particularly one of the female variety. Andy Viano has often demonstrated a cunning in naming his teams, if not a sub-terranean perversity, compelling others in the league to think a little. Rejected titles include: Rae Carruth's Girlfriend, Jamal Lewis' Plea Bargain, Randy Moss' Afroman T-Shirt, and Joe Horn's Cell Phone Bill.
10. Madd Skillz. Sure, he may be one of the best owners in the league, but his team name is sort of blah. A slight play on his own name with some infused hip-hop ... it's not bad, just not as strong as others in the league. Of course, the dude runs the damn league, so he has other things to worry about than a creative team name. Rejected names: The Brad Spata Express, Lost Touch With Reality, Oakes Tornadoes, I Din' Kill Nobody.
9. Blaine Browns. The simple combination of Drew Wolf's hometown and his favorite football team makes this name a fairly simple choice, although with the new Vikings stadium potentially being built by his house, the "Blaine Vikings" may not be out of the question in the near future. Plenty of room for creative overhaul here, but it works. Rejected Names: Stuart Scott's Doo-Rag, Pharmacy Keys, Son Abraham, Yeah! Personal Hell!
8. ChamPeons. We all get the play on words, although Champ will try to break out of being the "Peon" after a rough go through the first VUFSA season. Brent "The Champ" Whitlock has also stood by the name through thick and thin even though he's one of the most deal-happy, fluid managers among the 10. Rejected names: Mike Deityka, Bears and Boobs, Hawkeye of the Tiger.
7. Cellar Dwellars. Andrew Stem looks to invoke the "defuse the bomb" theory and move up in the standings by calling his team what it was in previous years -- a bottom feeder. So far so good, coincidentally, and you have to love Stem's tongue-in-cheek approach to his first year struggles. We all still love Stem, regardless of what happens. Rejected names: Drive My Lloyd Carr, Lions and Tigers and Bears, Did I Honestly Keep Jake Delhomme?
6. Father Abraham. I never understood the background behind the "Abraham" usage, but it has a fairly wise ring to it. The oldest member of the league (and only father, unless LaVicka accidentally spawned) has stood by his name through all league play and is stoic in his fatherly wisdom. Rejected names: None.
Interlude: Sean Salisbury is a dingus.
5. Big Fat Guys. One of many "old reliables" on the list, Baron has always resorted to the beauty of the rotund. And hey this is football, so while most of fantasy football deals with the thinnest of those on the field, the game is designed for Big Fat Guys. And the line "what do you want from me? I'm just a fat guy" still makes me chuckle. Rejected names: Jay Fiedler's Bitches, Ken Griffey's ACL, Newsbreak.
4. The Octagon. Ah yes, "Anchorman." Though the team name would have been better served as "Dr. Kenneth Noisewater," the name of Brian Fantana's right testicle in the film, such a long phrase would not fit. Thus JR Radcliffe settled on the adopted name of Fantana's penis. His team is thus named after a penis. There's plenty of jokes to be harvested, especially as the team wins games every week despite being among the worst teams in the league. Rejected names: I Totally Paused, Como Estas Bitches, I Love Lamp, Damn You Chuck Norris.
3. Sex Panther. I admit the "Anchorman" references spiraled out of control before the season, but knowing that Eli is a "sex panther" furthers his clever use of this name. The title is drawn from the putrid-smelling cologne employed by Brian Fantana in the film, and so far Daunte Culpepper's performance has fit the part for Eli, leading others to note that he looks "like Bigfoot's Dick" and has played "like a turd covered in burnt hair." Rejected names: Smelly Pirate Hooker, It's the Pleats, Great Odin's Raven, MATT MURTON!
2. Ken's Anal Adventure. Is it appropriate? Of course not. Is it better than the original title of "Pat Tillman's Widow?" Absolutely. In the end, it fits very well, giving league members the chance to contemplate what sort of adventure Ken is undertaking involving a sphincter, probably Dave's. And it offers a nice touch of the co-owners' "Fuck All Y'All" attitude. I like it. Rejected titles include: I'm So Awesome, Ozzie's El Collapso, Bondo and the Asians, and Ken's Angry Midget Circus.
1. Fred Lane's Wife. There's something entirely endearing about naming your team after a convicted murderer, particularly one of the female variety. Andy Viano has often demonstrated a cunning in naming his teams, if not a sub-terranean perversity, compelling others in the league to think a little. Rejected titles include: Rae Carruth's Girlfriend, Jamal Lewis' Plea Bargain, Randy Moss' Afroman T-Shirt, and Joe Horn's Cell Phone Bill.
Baseball Race Update
Taking a brief break from football; let's take a look at Baseball down the home stretch.
-The Gun is going to win. By a lot.
-Ed has pretty much clinched second, holding a 11 point lead over Lincoln, who continues to slip.
-Lincoln is holding 3rd place now, but has fallen from around 60 to 52 in about a month's time. The offense isn't the same as it was earlier in the year, and the 7s put up in most offensive categories are down, while the wins and ks aren't there now either. A few more runs and steals, while holding off chasers in saves and wins could go a long way in gaining back ground.
-JR is closing in fast on 3rd place, and thus an overall title. He sits 1.5 points back of Souzek, and can get a crucial half point if his tie in wins is broken in his favor. Runs, saves and Ks are all spots where Radcliffe can pick up ground.
-There's a big drop from 4 to 5, 12.5 points worth. From 5 to 6, however, just one point separates Viano and Champ. Champ's offense is pretty impotent, holding a 3 in just one category, but his pitching is strong. He needs improvement in his hitting to catch a fading (12 point drop in about 3 weeks) Andy.
-Drew sits 7th, and in a bit of no-mans land, 5 points back of the race for 5th, while nowhere near 8th.
-Stem's team is putrid. Just 6.5 points above the league minimum.
So, Roto scoring doesn't lend itself as well to furious pennant races, or weekly updates, but it does reward an entire season of good play; no schedules, matchups or games played can skew it.
Football Recap coming Tuesday, Power Rankings on Wednesday, with a preview of Week 3 by the weekend. I think JR has another top10 due out as well.
-The Gun is going to win. By a lot.
-Ed has pretty much clinched second, holding a 11 point lead over Lincoln, who continues to slip.
-Lincoln is holding 3rd place now, but has fallen from around 60 to 52 in about a month's time. The offense isn't the same as it was earlier in the year, and the 7s put up in most offensive categories are down, while the wins and ks aren't there now either. A few more runs and steals, while holding off chasers in saves and wins could go a long way in gaining back ground.
-JR is closing in fast on 3rd place, and thus an overall title. He sits 1.5 points back of Souzek, and can get a crucial half point if his tie in wins is broken in his favor. Runs, saves and Ks are all spots where Radcliffe can pick up ground.
-There's a big drop from 4 to 5, 12.5 points worth. From 5 to 6, however, just one point separates Viano and Champ. Champ's offense is pretty impotent, holding a 3 in just one category, but his pitching is strong. He needs improvement in his hitting to catch a fading (12 point drop in about 3 weeks) Andy.
-Drew sits 7th, and in a bit of no-mans land, 5 points back of the race for 5th, while nowhere near 8th.
-Stem's team is putrid. Just 6.5 points above the league minimum.
So, Roto scoring doesn't lend itself as well to furious pennant races, or weekly updates, but it does reward an entire season of good play; no schedules, matchups or games played can skew it.
Football Recap coming Tuesday, Power Rankings on Wednesday, with a preview of Week 3 by the weekend. I think JR has another top10 due out as well.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Breaking down the schedule
In fantasy football, we have learned time and time again it's not so much how your team plays but how your opponent does. Some of us have learned this the hard way. Well, one of us.
With that in mind- the addition of two teams adds a new wrinkle this year- an unbalanced schedule. 14 weeks of a regular season balanced out perfectly in an 8 team league, but 10 makes it a little tougher- as a team will play just 5 of their 9 competitors twice. So who got the short end of the stick? There's no real way to rate the schedules objectively yet, so we'll just lump the teams into three groups based on tenure in the league, and owner's past performances.
It's an inexact science, as Viano and Gun's schedules seem easier because they don't have to play themselves, and the expansions will seem harder for the same reason. Still, here goes:
Toughest Luck:
JR
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Ed, Stem, Lincoln
Worst Bye week: 5, missing Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Tiki Barber (opponent: Gun)
Drew
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Ed, Stem, Baron
Worst Bye week: 8, missing Edgerrin James, Curtis Martin, Warrick Dunn, Alge Crumpler (opponent: Champ)
Can't really complain:
Ed
Teams played 2x: Gun, JR, Drew, Champ, Baron
Worst Bye week: 10, missing LaDanian Tomlinson, Rudi Johnson, Chad Johnson (opponent: Gun)
LaTomke
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Champ, Lincoln, Baron
Worst Bye week: 4, missing Thomas Jones, Marty Booker, Lee Suggs, Braylon Edwards (you'll see)
Baron
Teams played 2x: Gun, Ed, Stem, Drew, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 9, missing Marc Bulger and Mike Anderson, plus 3 bench players (opponent: Viano)
Champ
Teams played 2x: Viano, Ed, Lincoln, Stem, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 5, missing Kerry Collins, Randy Moss, Jeremy Shockey (opponent: Ed)
Lincoln
Teams played 2x: Viano, JR, Stem, Champ, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 6, missing Donovan McNabb and Anquan Boldin (opponent: Ed)
No excuses:
Gun
Teams played 2x: Ed, JR, Drew, Baron, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 9, missing Willis MaGahee, Steven Jackson, Torry Holt (opponent: Stem)
Viano
Teams played 2x: JR, Champ, Drew, Lincoln, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 8, missing Petyton Manning and Darrell Jackson (opponent: Gun)
Stem
Teams played 2x: JR, Drew, Lincoln, Champ, Baron
Worst Bye week: 5, missing LaMont Jordan, Jerry Porter, Plaxico Buress (opponent: Lincoln)
With that in mind- the addition of two teams adds a new wrinkle this year- an unbalanced schedule. 14 weeks of a regular season balanced out perfectly in an 8 team league, but 10 makes it a little tougher- as a team will play just 5 of their 9 competitors twice. So who got the short end of the stick? There's no real way to rate the schedules objectively yet, so we'll just lump the teams into three groups based on tenure in the league, and owner's past performances.
It's an inexact science, as Viano and Gun's schedules seem easier because they don't have to play themselves, and the expansions will seem harder for the same reason. Still, here goes:
Toughest Luck:
JR
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Ed, Stem, Lincoln
Worst Bye week: 5, missing Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Tiki Barber (opponent: Gun)
Drew
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Ed, Stem, Baron
Worst Bye week: 8, missing Edgerrin James, Curtis Martin, Warrick Dunn, Alge Crumpler (opponent: Champ)
Can't really complain:
Ed
Teams played 2x: Gun, JR, Drew, Champ, Baron
Worst Bye week: 10, missing LaDanian Tomlinson, Rudi Johnson, Chad Johnson (opponent: Gun)
LaTomke
Teams played 2x: Viano, Gun, Champ, Lincoln, Baron
Worst Bye week: 4, missing Thomas Jones, Marty Booker, Lee Suggs, Braylon Edwards (you'll see)
Baron
Teams played 2x: Gun, Ed, Stem, Drew, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 9, missing Marc Bulger and Mike Anderson, plus 3 bench players (opponent: Viano)
Champ
Teams played 2x: Viano, Ed, Lincoln, Stem, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 5, missing Kerry Collins, Randy Moss, Jeremy Shockey (opponent: Ed)
Lincoln
Teams played 2x: Viano, JR, Stem, Champ, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 6, missing Donovan McNabb and Anquan Boldin (opponent: Ed)
No excuses:
Gun
Teams played 2x: Ed, JR, Drew, Baron, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 9, missing Willis MaGahee, Steven Jackson, Torry Holt (opponent: Stem)
Viano
Teams played 2x: JR, Champ, Drew, Lincoln, LaTomke
Worst Bye week: 8, missing Petyton Manning and Darrell Jackson (opponent: Gun)
Stem
Teams played 2x: JR, Drew, Lincoln, Champ, Baron
Worst Bye week: 5, missing LaMont Jordan, Jerry Porter, Plaxico Buress (opponent: Lincoln)
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Week 2 Preview
Before we get to the week that will be, can I just say that I finally decided to find out what Viano's team name means? I admit to not knowing (or maybe not remembering) who Fred Lane is, or why his wife would be important. Therefore, I googled him:
"Carolina Panthers all-time leading rusher; won starting running back position in 1997 and led the team in rushing that season and in 1998; traded to Indianapolis in April 2000 for LB Spencer Reid; career: 502 carries, 2,001 yards rushing, 13 TDs; attended Lane College (no relation) in Jackson, Tenn.; finished second for the Division II rushing title as a junior. He died of gun shot wounds (at 24 years old) suffered during a domestic dispute with his wife."
And to think, I left Dave and Kenny's name unlocked.
Fred Lane's Wife (-3) vs. The Octagon
This game represents the only VUFSA tilt that features two teams that won last week. A rematch of last year's semifinals, Fred Lane's Wife looks to get revenge in the name of the Fightin' Humanzees. FLW ran away with his game agains the Browns last week, and will look for a big contribution from Willie Parker again, and increased production from Ronnie Brown. The Octagon will look for a step up in production from their #1 pick, Trent Green as well as a solid game from suddenly shaky JJ Arrington.
FLW Biggest Strength: RB2 Deuce McAllister (over JJ Arrington)
FLW Biggest Concern: Whoever replaces Javon Walker as a WR.
OCT Biggest Strength: WR3 Hines Ward (over Eric Parker)
OCT Biggest Concern: RB3 Chester Taylor
Matchup to Watch: Peyton Manning (FLW) to Marvin Harrison (OCT)
Cellar Dwellers vs. Blaine Browns (-20)
A 20 point spread for this game? Is Yahoo bias against Stem too? Nonetheless, this is the second most interesting game of the week as BB needs to avoid an 0-2 hole, while CD can establish themselves as a playoff contender. Two of the best running back corps go at here. The Browns should have an excellent week this week as only one starter scored a touchdown last week (Drew Brees) and that is likely to change with Edgerrin James and Curtis Martin in the backfield. Flex spot upgrade for BB as well, starting RB Ruben Droughns. So much of CD's success will hinge on whether his Lions (Kevin Jones and Roy Williams) can hit paydirt against the Bears.
CD Biggest Strength: WR3 Jerry Porter vs. KC
CD Biggest Concern: WR1 Roy Williams trying to match Terrell Owens
BB Biggest Strength: Flex spot Droughns (over WR Plaxico Burress)
BB Biggest Concern: WR3 Keenan McCardell
Matchup to Watch: Atlanta vs. Seattle (Shaun Alexander- CD, vs. Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler- BB)
Champeons vs. Father Abraham (-11)
Big spread against the #2 scorer from last week. FA is a team, like the Blaine Browns, looking to avoid a potentially devastating 0-2 start. Should get a big rebound game from Donovan McNabb against the 49ers. Priest Holmes (FA) scored a solid 14 points last week, but will his role continue to diminish? Champeons has a lot of stock in the Oakland Raiders passing game, and will need them to score a ton every week for him to stay in it. CHM got a big boost from the Cowboys last week, and will need Keyshawn Johnson to assert himself as a stud again this week, and keep the ball from teammate Jason Witten (TE-FA) at the goal line.
CHM Biggest Strength: WR1 Randy Moss
CHM Biggest Concern: WR3 Braylon Edwards
FA Biggest Strength: WR3 Anquan Boldin
FA Biggest Concern: RB3 Stephen Davis vs. New England
Matchup to Watch: QB McNabb (FA) vs. Kerry Collins (CHM)
Madd Skillz (-28) vs. Big Fat Guys
Winner of the marquee matchup in week 1 gets an alleged breather against BFG in week 2. SKL takes 4 starting running backs into the matchup, while faces just 1.5 (as Mike Anderson's health is a question). Skillz has to get more from Domanick Davis, but that might not happen against the Steelers. Still, favorable matchups for LDT and Rudi Johnson. BFG has a stud at QB and a stud at RB, and some potential elsewhere. Antwaan Randle El is a player that could have a breakout year, as Ben Roethlisberger has an aversion to throwing to Hines Ward, it seems. The Denver Backs and Chris Chambers have the potential to go off any week.
SKL Biggest Strength: RB2 Rudi Johnson
SKL Biggest Concern: WR 3 Laverneus Coles
BFG Biggest Strength: QB Marc Bulger
BFG Biggest Concern: FLEX WR Brandon Lloyd
Matchup to Watch: WR2, Steve Smith (SKL) vs. Chambers (BFG)
Sex Panther (-24) vs. Ken's Anal Adventure
Preseason title talk for SP is still valid after a week1 loss. A second straight loss would be devastating and humiliating- but is also highly unlikely. Daunte Culpepper is probably the reason that SP fell in week 1, as last years stud racked up -4.5 points. Willis MaGahee and Cadillac Williams both ran up some big yards last week, and Ahman Green should bounce back against Cleveland. Meanwhile, KAA put together some semblence of a running attack this week, acquiring Thomas Jones from FLW and TJ Duckett from SP. The Duckett trade also netted them Isaac Bruce, but did cost Reggie Wayne. Marcel Shipp has the potential to work out well for KAA as he could have a bigger workload put on his shoulders.
SP Biggest Strength: RB1-3
SP Biggest Concern: Is Daunte Culpepper going to suck again?
KAA Biggest Strength: TE Antonio Gates
KAA Biggest Concern: Sex Panther's talent
Matchup to Watch: Indianapols and St. Louis games, as Reggie Wayne (SP) fights Brandon Stokley (KAA) and Isaac Bruce (KAA) fights Torry Hold (SP) for scores.
"Carolina Panthers all-time leading rusher; won starting running back position in 1997 and led the team in rushing that season and in 1998; traded to Indianapolis in April 2000 for LB Spencer Reid; career: 502 carries, 2,001 yards rushing, 13 TDs; attended Lane College (no relation) in Jackson, Tenn.; finished second for the Division II rushing title as a junior. He died of gun shot wounds (at 24 years old) suffered during a domestic dispute with his wife."
And to think, I left Dave and Kenny's name unlocked.
Fred Lane's Wife (-3) vs. The Octagon
This game represents the only VUFSA tilt that features two teams that won last week. A rematch of last year's semifinals, Fred Lane's Wife looks to get revenge in the name of the Fightin' Humanzees. FLW ran away with his game agains the Browns last week, and will look for a big contribution from Willie Parker again, and increased production from Ronnie Brown. The Octagon will look for a step up in production from their #1 pick, Trent Green as well as a solid game from suddenly shaky JJ Arrington.
FLW Biggest Strength: RB2 Deuce McAllister (over JJ Arrington)
FLW Biggest Concern: Whoever replaces Javon Walker as a WR.
OCT Biggest Strength: WR3 Hines Ward (over Eric Parker)
OCT Biggest Concern: RB3 Chester Taylor
Matchup to Watch: Peyton Manning (FLW) to Marvin Harrison (OCT)
Cellar Dwellers vs. Blaine Browns (-20)
A 20 point spread for this game? Is Yahoo bias against Stem too? Nonetheless, this is the second most interesting game of the week as BB needs to avoid an 0-2 hole, while CD can establish themselves as a playoff contender. Two of the best running back corps go at here. The Browns should have an excellent week this week as only one starter scored a touchdown last week (Drew Brees) and that is likely to change with Edgerrin James and Curtis Martin in the backfield. Flex spot upgrade for BB as well, starting RB Ruben Droughns. So much of CD's success will hinge on whether his Lions (Kevin Jones and Roy Williams) can hit paydirt against the Bears.
CD Biggest Strength: WR3 Jerry Porter vs. KC
CD Biggest Concern: WR1 Roy Williams trying to match Terrell Owens
BB Biggest Strength: Flex spot Droughns (over WR Plaxico Burress)
BB Biggest Concern: WR3 Keenan McCardell
Matchup to Watch: Atlanta vs. Seattle (Shaun Alexander- CD, vs. Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler- BB)
Champeons vs. Father Abraham (-11)
Big spread against the #2 scorer from last week. FA is a team, like the Blaine Browns, looking to avoid a potentially devastating 0-2 start. Should get a big rebound game from Donovan McNabb against the 49ers. Priest Holmes (FA) scored a solid 14 points last week, but will his role continue to diminish? Champeons has a lot of stock in the Oakland Raiders passing game, and will need them to score a ton every week for him to stay in it. CHM got a big boost from the Cowboys last week, and will need Keyshawn Johnson to assert himself as a stud again this week, and keep the ball from teammate Jason Witten (TE-FA) at the goal line.
CHM Biggest Strength: WR1 Randy Moss
CHM Biggest Concern: WR3 Braylon Edwards
FA Biggest Strength: WR3 Anquan Boldin
FA Biggest Concern: RB3 Stephen Davis vs. New England
Matchup to Watch: QB McNabb (FA) vs. Kerry Collins (CHM)
Madd Skillz (-28) vs. Big Fat Guys
Winner of the marquee matchup in week 1 gets an alleged breather against BFG in week 2. SKL takes 4 starting running backs into the matchup, while faces just 1.5 (as Mike Anderson's health is a question). Skillz has to get more from Domanick Davis, but that might not happen against the Steelers. Still, favorable matchups for LDT and Rudi Johnson. BFG has a stud at QB and a stud at RB, and some potential elsewhere. Antwaan Randle El is a player that could have a breakout year, as Ben Roethlisberger has an aversion to throwing to Hines Ward, it seems. The Denver Backs and Chris Chambers have the potential to go off any week.
SKL Biggest Strength: RB2 Rudi Johnson
SKL Biggest Concern: WR 3 Laverneus Coles
BFG Biggest Strength: QB Marc Bulger
BFG Biggest Concern: FLEX WR Brandon Lloyd
Matchup to Watch: WR2, Steve Smith (SKL) vs. Chambers (BFG)
Sex Panther (-24) vs. Ken's Anal Adventure
Preseason title talk for SP is still valid after a week1 loss. A second straight loss would be devastating and humiliating- but is also highly unlikely. Daunte Culpepper is probably the reason that SP fell in week 1, as last years stud racked up -4.5 points. Willis MaGahee and Cadillac Williams both ran up some big yards last week, and Ahman Green should bounce back against Cleveland. Meanwhile, KAA put together some semblence of a running attack this week, acquiring Thomas Jones from FLW and TJ Duckett from SP. The Duckett trade also netted them Isaac Bruce, but did cost Reggie Wayne. Marcel Shipp has the potential to work out well for KAA as he could have a bigger workload put on his shoulders.
SP Biggest Strength: RB1-3
SP Biggest Concern: Is Daunte Culpepper going to suck again?
KAA Biggest Strength: TE Antonio Gates
KAA Biggest Concern: Sex Panther's talent
Matchup to Watch: Indianapols and St. Louis games, as Reggie Wayne (SP) fights Brandon Stokley (KAA) and Isaac Bruce (KAA) fights Torry Hold (SP) for scores.
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