Open Thread, Week 4

This week's sponsor is the most super-sexy, swinging cat around.



Apacheeeeeeee!

Discuss among yourselves.

Week 4 Preview

Game of the Week

The Slumpbusters vs. Fresh Legs (+3.5)

Probably the easiest call so far for game of the week...Fresh Legs should be considered our top early season suprise...this game is the difference between 3-1 and 2-2 for both teams, and despite being week 4, is a big deal...The magic number to make the VUFSA Playoffs has been 8 wins- the winner of this game can play .500 from here on out and still hit 8 wins...Eli is 2-0 vs. Baron All-Time, winning by an average of 55 points in their two meetings.

News and Notes, SLM

Week 4 is historically the worst week for the SLM franchise- an 0-2 record and only 84.25 ppg, including their all-time low of 71.75 (2004)...Favored to buck that trend because the Rams draw their 3rd straight favorable opponent (Detroit this time) and Clinton Portis is 100%...Outside of Portis and Moss' matchup against JAX and Maurice Morris vs. CHI, everyone else in the lineup has a decent opponent...The original prognosis on Shaun Alexander (that he was out indefinitely) made Maurice Morris a coup off the wire, but the talk that he wanted to play this week diminishes Morris' impact, as Alexander could be back by Week 6...In case you haven't noticed, there are 4 QBs on this roster- how long will that last?...Key Byes: Tatum Bell, Jeremy Shockey...Key Injuries: None

News and Notes, FL

The league's top scoring team faces their toughest opponent of the season so far...Good matchups for Chris Chambers (HOU) as well as their Eagles (GB)...Still waiting on Thomas Jones to earn his keeper designation; it's really odd that the Bears' offense hasn't committed to the run more...Despite the presence of Shit-Ton Bush, Deuce McAllister has been a fine option at RB this season, a nod to a very smart move made by Baron last season...Could have a find in Doug Gabriel as the Patriots search for Wide Receivers...Key Byes: Rod Smith, Heath Miller...Key Injuries: Laverneus Coles (Questionable), Brian Westbrook (Questionable), Reggie Brown (Probable), Ahman Green (Probable)

On Deck

The Nihilist Marmot vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (pk)

5 players that can truly be considered 'studs' sit out in this matchup...TNM misses both of their best running backs, while NDP is down his RB1 and his WR1 and WR2...The talent missing and the incestuous talent left leaves the handicapping committee no choice but to leave the line off of this one, though we do favor Viano by a hair...This game is important to both men, moreso to Viano who needs to avoid a 1-3 start...The two owners involved here have split all 4 meetings down the middle, with JR winning both games last season.

News and Notes, TNM

The true strength of the Marmot is it's wide receivers, who stay in tact this week, with tremendous matchups for the Colts and Antonio Bryant...The only hiccup in the tremendous matchup for Harrison/Wayne is that every point they score gives something to NDP's Peyton Manning...The running game in shambles, DeShaun Foster takes center stage as the teams RB1 against New Orleans...Tony Gonzalez will play his second full game with Damon Huard, a tandem that gave Tony just 1 point last time out; though this one is against San Fran, not Denver...LaDell Betts is in the running for the pickup of the year, as his touches are not all garbage time like some other backup RBs...Kurt Warner is starting again, probably much to the concern of JR...Key Byes: Tiki! Barber, Cadillac Williams...Key Injuries: None

News and Notes, NDP

Opposite JR, the running game here is breathing, but the WR corp is a crapshoot...Greg Jennings had a big week because of one big play, while Matt Jones is having groin problems and Bobby Engram is option 3B in Seattle vs. the BEARS...Jerious Norwood, despite his zero last week, is a good play against ARI, and Marion Barber got goal line looks in Dallas' last game...Todd Heap's health could factor in late, as a last second deactivation hurts because there is no backup currently on the bench (though Kellen Winslow is available. eh? eh? anyone?)...Also has 2 questionable defenders, we'll see how that works out for them...kudos to Andy for not only referring me to the Crazy-ass MSU guy, but also for jumping on 2006's Neil Rackers- Robbie Gould...Key Byes: Willie Parker, Hines Ward, Javon Walker...Key Injuries: Todd Heap (Questionable), Matt Jones (Probable), 2 Questionable defenders.

The 3 Spot

ChamPeons vs. Cellar Dwellers (+18)

Champion looks to bounce back from his first loss of the season, while Stem plays his first game without Shaun Alexander, ever (byes notwithstanding)...Winner of this game gets a cushy 3-1 start and hangs out at the front of the pack for playoff teams...If/how the Patriots get in the end zone is key here- if it's through the air, advantage CD; through the ground tilts toward CHM...Champ and Stem are 2-2 against one another lifetime, Stem won both games last season.

News and Notes, CHM

Champ's weakest week is week 4, 0-2 scoring an average of just 78.75 ppg, down from his career average of 98.82...This week should bring better stats, as Daunte Culpepper, Frank Gore, Joseph Addai and Julius Jones all have good matchups...Corey Dillon is out of the lineup, and left last game early, so for Champ's sake, he better sit out on Sunday putting everything in Laurence Maroney's hands- he's not on the injury report however...Troy Brown is currently in the lineup over a questionable Terrell Owens. Owens, who overdosed on Hydrocodone (generic Vicodin, which according to Jamie is a very non-reactive drug and won't suppress your respiratory system enough to kill yourself with) is a possible last second activation for Champ if he plays on Sunday...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Vernon Davis (out), Terrell Owens (Questionable), Frank Gore (Questionable)

News and Notes, CD

LaMont Jordan returns to LaLineup for CD, and he better have his head out of his ass. It's not really at all his fault that his numbers are so bad, but he needs to pick up some big time slack the next few weeks. He's the most disappointing keeper since JaMal Lewis, 2005...Kevin Jones got his shit together last week, and has a STL defense that is underrated, but can still be run on...Anthony Thomas is a long shot to score with Willis McGahee running so well...Tom Brady has been a very average QB this year, not meriting his lofty draft status. He's been outscored by Jon Kitna, Alex Smith and sits tied with Charlie Frye...Keenan McCardell is a nice WR to have stashed away, but until the Chargers get some balls and throw to their WR, he's a risky guy to have in the lineup...No choice this week however, with 2 WRs out of action already...Stem is bipolar in week 4s, notching his career high (141.75) and his career low (65.75) in this week. He's 1-1...Key Byes: Plaxico Burress...Key Injuries: Shaun Alexander (Doubtful), Donte Stallworth (Questionable), Keenan McCardell (Questionable)

Batting Cleanup

Madd Skillz vs. Who is Ron Mexico? (+19)

A battle of extremes as winless WIRM tries to take down the last undefeated team in the league...WIRM catches SKL after a down week, while Dave's crew has been playing very well in their last two losses...Watch the Bengals' TDs in this one, as too many for Housh could tip the scale...Schillinger has won the only battle between these two franchises, setting a VUFSA record for margin of victory in their lone meeting, winning 165.00-47.50 (+117.50)

News and Notes, SKL

Gets four offensive starters back from a bye week, including LaDanian Tomlinson and LaRry Johnson...Johnson has potential for his first monster week against the 49ers on Sunday...Week 3 hero Matt Hasselbeck is rewarded for his 5 TD effort with a benching against Chicago- Drew Bledsoe (vs. TEN) gets his first start of the season...Terry Glenn's role in the Dallas offense is still unknown- he's been involved and will be a focal point if TO is out for some time, but it's tough to get a read on him after just 2 games...Are we witnessing the demise of Chad Johnson? His teammates at WR both had tremendous games last week, proving again that Carson Palmer does not need Chad as much as he once did. He may not be an elite once the season is done...Don't sleep on Kevan Barlow...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Steve Smith (Probable), Kevan Barlow (Probable)

News and Notes, WIRM

Charlie Frye takes over for Eli Manning's bye week, the idea of playing a QB vs. OAK was too great to pass up for Dave, jettisoning Brett Farve in the process...TJ Housmandzadeh was a steal for Tomke, and the draft pick he got with him was icing on the cake...Foster looks even more expendable than he did last week with the emergence of Fat Ron Dayne and the potential of Maurice Jones-Drew...Shit-Ton Bush is consistently involved in New Orleans, but hasn't had a monster game, or even scored a touchdown yet...Marques Colston was a pretty sweet pickup, I do have to admit, especially since Chris Cooley died...Chester Taylor is key for Dave this week, as a big game from him will go a long way towards keeping his team in it...Key Byes: Eli Manning, Michael Clayton...Key Injuries: TJ Houshmanzadeh (Probable)

The 5 Hole

Tice's Partyboat vs. Father Abraham (+9.5)

Could-be-3-and-0 takes on Should-be-better-than-0-and-3 in this week's final game...Cardinal TDs are at a premium, with Edge facing Anquan Boldin...Not to get too dramatic too early, but this is pretty huge for both teams...As is now, the Wolfman has to win 8 of 11 in a parity plagued leage to even sniff the playoffs, while Souzek needs a win to keep pace, as no fewer than 3 and as many as 4 teams will be 3-1 after this week...Wolf holds a 2-1 series lead over Souzek, winning by 34 in their lone 2005 meeting.

News and Notes, TPB

This is the week where the alphabetical king of the strong finish picks up the pace- 8 of his 14 career losses have come in weeks 1-3, with just 6 from week 4-14...The team is pretty much at full strength again, although Chris Brown is questionable...Randy Moss is back from his bye and has been demoted to the flex spot. A smart motivational ploy by Coach Wolfman...If Ruben Droughns is going to do anything this season, it has to start now against the Raiders. There are no gimme games in the NFL, but this is as close as you can get...Warrick Dunn and Edgerrin James go head to head on the real life field, a game which TPB needs to stay close and on the ground...Keyshawn Johnson may have peaked in week 3, as Steve Smith is close to 100% in that Carolina offense again...Drew Brees is a steady real-life QB, but his fantasy effectiveness is in question. Although, with Alex Smith the only other option on the roster, the steady Brees is probably the better week-to-week option...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Chris Brown (Questionable), Ruben Droughns (Questionable)

News and Notes, FA

The memory of getting burned by Joey Galloway on the bench in week 2 is fresh in the Father's mind, and he won't let it happen again- keeping Galloway in the lineup (as of press time) despite the handicap of being on a bye...I'm going to work the rest of the N&N based on the assumption that the lineup hasn't actually been set yet...Jason Witten should be a strong play against Tennesee, although Desmond Clark is a worthwhile backup...Jamal Lewis should have a tough time finding holes against a very good San Diego run defense...Samkon Gado might find his way to the bench in favor of LenDale White or Leon Washington, both of whom could play a role on Sunday...Donovan McNabb has got a great Monday Nighter against GB...Once week 4 ends, Souzek typically collapses- a .545 (6-5) winning percentage in weeks 1-4, with a .150 (3-17) after week 4...Key Byes: Joey Galloway...Key Injuries: Desmond Clark (Questionable) Domanick Davis (IR)

One Day Closer to Sunday

Did anyone know that baseball is still going on? That myself and Drew are engaged in a spirited battle for second place? That Dave Tomke has managed to finish in the top half of the league, assuming he can hold off Champ? That Eli has run away and that our master chief, Ed, has finished quite a ways behind everyone else but set himself up beautifully for 2007?

With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the one-sided trades in this season's lexicon. I didn't research this all that much, fyi, and most of these trades consider the talent at hand and not what the respective owners did with that talent afterward.

10. Lone Rangers, March 20
Champ gets: Hank Blalock and Kevin Mench
Tomke gets: Ichiro Suzuki and Lyle Overbay.
Champ put a lot of eggs in a moldy Texas basket, as Blalock had an off year and Mench wound up having one scintillating week, then capsizing. In the categories they were obtained to cover, Ichiro and Lyle both had productive, if unspectacular seasons, though Overbay was later traded for a dead Jose Guillen.

9. O is for Oops, March 28
Tomke gets: Jose Guillen
JR gets: Lyle Overbay
Overbay didn't stay long on Radcliffe's team, despite a very solid season. Jose Guillen followed in his own precedent nicely and spent most of the year injured or retarded.

8. The Closer You Get, June 13
Drew gets: Dave Roberts, Bronson Arroyo, Joe Borowski
Lincoln gets: Jason Isringhausen
It's not that Roberts really amounted to anything huge (but 47 steals ain't so shabby), or that Arroyo was anything more than above average after the All-Star break. But Borowski wound up an everyday closer option with the surprise success of Florida (28 saves since the deal), and all of those players outweighed the frequent struggles and then injury loss of Isringhausen (13 saves since trade).

7. Sniffing Elmer's Goo, May 25
Drew gets: Elmer Dessens
JR gets: Brian Giles
Looking for saves that Dessens was supposed to be getting in Kansas City, Drew traded a spare part outfielder for the very old, very Mexican Dessens. Elmer never got many chances, then got traded to be a middle reliever, while Giles became a regular contributor in Radcliffe's outfield.

6. How Much Wood Could a Wood Chuck, if A Wood Didn't Have a Broken Arm?, May 12
Ed gets: Dontrelle Willis
Eli gets: Kerry Wood
It sure seemed like Dontrelle was overrated heading into the season, but he's actually had a very respectable run, though it made sense for Eli to gamble on the corpse of Kerry Wood. But a corpse is still a corpse, and Ed wound up with the better pitcher.

5. The Wright Combination, May 16
Ed gets: David Wright
Drew gets: Jorge Cantu, Carlos Zambrano, JJ Putz
This turned out to be among Ed's best Superstar Swaps, getting one good player for another. Putz has been a nice little closer and object of Drew's homo-erotic affection, but he's not keeper material, and Cantu's injuries precluded any level of contribution. Zambrano is of course a keeper pitcher, but David Wright is a future All-World player.

4. A Good BJ, April 16
Tomke gets: BJ Ryan
Eli gets: Josh Beckett
Tomke later pawned off Ryan, but the value of this acquisition was a good one for Beckett, a pitcher who won a handful of games but never approached the dominance he occasionally showed in years past.

3. A Better BJ, April 27
JR gets: BJ Ryan
Tomke gets: Jonny Gomes
Nobody had heard of Jonny Gomes when Radcliffe drafted him, bitches, but everyone heard of him after a torrid first month of the season. It was a move to trade while the iron was hot, and it worked out beautifully for Radcliffe, when Gomes went down with a season-long injury shortly thereafter (with ineffectiveness resulting in the meantime) while Ryan continued to be one of baseball's best closers.

2. The Three Amigos, April 30
gets: Vlad Guerrero
Eli gets: Carlos Lee, Carlos Beltran and Francisco Cordero
Looking back on this deal, it may have been the point that Eli asserted himself as the best team in the league. Many of Ed's Superstar Swaps were good ideas, especially when weighing his long term goals. But not only did the Carloses go on to have tremendous seasons, and Cordero wound up an All-Star caliber closer again even if Eli never enjoyed the benefits, Guerrero had a disappointing season by his standards. This was a good, good deal for Eli, while Guerrero was pawned off as part of the Albert Pujols deal. I suppose in that sense, both owners win.

1. When You Swish Upon Some Stars, April 7
Ed gets: Nick Swisher and Hanley Ramirez
Champ gets: Geoff Jenkins and Bobby Crosby
While everyone was paying attention to Ed's bigger deals, this one ended up taking the cake, happening long before Ed was out of the race. Swisher eventually cooled off but had a tremendous year in spurts, nearly driving in 100 and scoring 100, and Ramirez is a bona fide rookie of the year candidate. Jenkins was benched and Crosby was sent to the operating room.

Week 3 Power Rankings

The following is Jamie's view of how the league stacks up. I feel it's pretty accurate, because she and I talked about each team and how they look now and for the future beforehand. Her other credentials include watching statracker for me and calling me with updates every Sunday and she recorded every pick in this season's draft and listened to my comments about every one of them. Here goes:

=============

1. Madd Skillz (3-0) Last Week: 1st (-)

-Even though Eddie keeps saying our team [stinks] and is never going to win, I like them. Matty Hasselbeck carried the team on his shoulders this week. Chad [Johnson] and LDT are my favorite non-Bear players in the league.

2. Fresh Legs (2-1) Last Week: 3rd (+1)

-Baron scares me. His team always has a really good score after the 1 o'clock games. I hope we don't play him on one of those weeks. Why doesn't Carson throw to Chad more? Baron should talk to him about that.

3. The Slumpbusters (2-1) Last Week: 7th (+4)

-I don't know much about Eli's team, but Eddie is always scared of them. He does have Santana [Moss] and I miss him. Clinton Portis is a wacko. And he stole Rexy from me!*

4. Naj Davenport's Poop (1-2) Last Week: 4th (-)

-I never can tell who Viano is because his name confuses me. I think it is awful that Peyton [Manning] is on every commercial I see. I root against him just so he will stop making them. I still feel bad for [Andy] because he's been scoring high but not winning. I think he is a force to be reckoned with.

5. The Nihilist Marmot (2-1) Last Week: 2nd (-3)

-Jeez louise, more Colts. Brett Farve? Doesn't he throw more interceptions than touchdowns? He didn't pick him because he's good but because he's a cheesehead. I think JR is going to wiggle into the playoffs. Actually I don't know. He doesn't have a lot of big names that I know.

6. Cellar Dwellars (2-1) Last Week: 8th (+2)

-I rooted for Stem at the end of last year and Eddie yelled at me. I was impressed that he went from last to second, and I like Stem. Even though Shaun Alexander is hurt, I hope they keep showing his "lemon and a weiner dog" commercial because it makes me laugh.

7. Father Abraham (1-2) Last Week: 5th (-2)

-Who's on his team? I can't remember. Oh yeah, Donovan [McNabb]. Eddie had me freaked out that [McNabb] would score 50 points. My only memory I have of Brandon Lloyd is when he fell over after he high fived Clinton Portis the first game. I feel bad for how close [Lincoln's] been the last two games. (after looking at lincoln's website:) LOOK AT HIS BABIES! He's got the cutest kids. No wonder he doesn't check the league as much as Eddie does.

8. ChamPeons (2-1) Last Week: 6th (-2)

-Bears! How come Champ only has one Bear? I have an Urlacher Jersey and I wear it every Sunday. TO is a punk, and I always root against him. Frank Gore, everybody talks about him but I had no idea who he was until a couple weeks ago. "Frank Gore" is not a good name for a football player.

9. Tice's Partyboat (0-3) Last Week: 9th (-)

-Oh, Drew. What a collapse. You were not this bad last year. I know Edgerrin, but he's in the wrong uniform. That team is not very good. Are they? They can't even pick a quarterback. It's either Matt Leinart or not-Matt Leinart.

10. Who is Ron Mexico (0-3) Last Week 10th (-)

-Even if he was undefeated with the most points in the league, I would still rank Dave last because I HATE ELI [MANNING]! He's whiny and pouty and a baby. And he stole that Jones-Drew guy from me!* He wouldn't give us Muhsin [Muhammed] so I hope Muhsin gets old and falls down.

================

*Jamie has attempted to work the waiver wire for me on three different occasions while I was at work, but has been beaten to the punch each time.

I would also like to assure everyone that every word typed came directly from her mouth and yes, she does hate that many players in the NFL. We actually just added Michael Vick to the list after I explained to her where the name "Ron Mexico" came from.

Elias Eat Your Heart Out

Ok, so Ed e-mailed me his pride and joy. What can only be described as an unhealthy obsession with the VUFSA has taken a turn toward the extreme. I have in my possession The Spreadsheet. What The Spreadsheet is, and yes I feel that italics are absolutely appropriate to make it stand out from mere ordinary words, is a database that complies your team's every point and record for a given week. There are some additional pieces of information that I am attempting to decode, but so far as I can tell, they have something to do with Rex Grossman, Lovie Smith, and feathers. More on that when I have it.

Now when Edwin e-mailed me this piece of information, he mentioned that I should be the one to take The Spreadsheet and make sense of it for a VUFSA blog post. This only made sense since I have a minor in business administration. As best as I can recall, this does put me educationally ahead of every one of you worthless communication majored buffoons, except Lincoln who has not the time for such profound analysis as I am about to give.

After spending hours, nay, minutes examining each piece of information, I realized I had to sort the data in order to have a chance at a coherent blog article that would be meticulously read by maybe ten people (who are you people that aren't a part of the league that read about us? Not that I care, but I have to question your mental state. Never mind, I'm writing an "article" for a "news source" about a fantasy sports league. I'm sorry. Please stay.). Much of the data is similar to say that always helpful and definitely relevant info that the Chicago Cubs are 11-38 during day games in which 9 people are sitting in section X row 37 eating a hot dog (ie "interesting" information but not particularly foretelling of future events).

The part of The Spreadsheet that I found most interesting were a team's records during a given week. I have long thought the fantasy football season was best divided into two parts, which I've cleverly titled "the beginning part" and "the ending part." It is my belief that the first half of the season's performance is a reflection of how well a team has drafted. A strong start to a season shows that an owner did a good job of keeping the right players and then supplemented them well by adding a strong supporting cast. Generally speaking, injuries are low during the beginning half and bye weeks do not take effect until week 3. Granted there are some other extenuating circumstances such as quality of opponent (playing Ed versus playing Tomke), a freakish single performance (Peyton versus The Texans), and even still injuries (Alexander to Stem). These notwithstanding, I still maintain the first half of the season best shows which teams are able to research personnel and obtain them in our annual Rob Giancola VUFSA football draft.

For purposes of this official, Elias worthy piece, I am defining "the beginning part" to be the first 5 weeks of the season. Owners' records during the first five weeks, keeping in mind that Tomke and Baron were not with us in 2004 and that we have not yet completed 5 games this season are below.

Ed: 11-2
Eli: 8-5
Viano: 8-5
Stem: 8-5
JR: 7-6
Lincoln: 6-7
Champ: 6-7
Drew: 4-9
Baron: 3-5
Tomke: 1-7

As I keep throwing in disclaimers, I realize that this whole blog post is more and more irrelevant due to the tiny sample size, but bare with me as it's an original post and you all just desperately seek new material on here regardless of its actual insightfulness.

Now the second part of the season I consider more a measure of an owner's flexibility and adaptability. The draft is history, and a team has strengths and weaknesses. How well does the general manager plug the holes and make the big playoff push? Waiver wire pickups, trades, and ability to overcome injuries and bye weeks are the challenge in this part of the year. I will define "the ending part" to be the last 5 weeks of the season, playoffs not included as rosters are finalized before then.

Drew: 8-2
JR: 8-2
Ed: 7-3
Stem: 5-5
Viano: 5-5
Champ: 5-5
Eli: 4-6
Tomke: 2-3
Lincoln: 1-9
Baron: 0-5

What does this tell us? Not much of anything. Ideally, I would make some jumps about how I am a terrible drafter, but somehow pull off the right moves in the end to make the playoffs. Or how Eli is one of the best teams in the league because of his ability to start the season with right players only to have it go down the crapper in the end. But, now recalling the actual seasons, I'm pretty convinced that I'm not willing to make that leap because with the exception of the outrageous TO-Moss trade that actually didn't help Champ or I that much, I haven't made many late season moves. And The Gun hasn't made any boneheaded moves that I can clearly say cost him playoff berths and his 4-6 late season record. Enjoy the numbers and the inconclusive analysis, and I'll leave you with the VUFSA's all time win-loss records (playoffs not included).

Ed: 22-9
JR: 19-12
Viano: 18-13
Drew: 17-14
Eli: 16-15
Stem: 16-15
Champ: 15-16
Lincoln: 9-22
Baron: 6-11
Tomke: 3-14

Week 3 Recap

Fresh Legs: 119.25
ChamPeons: 88.50

Game Summary: Four touchdown passes from Carson Palmer put Baron in control, and the legs of Brian Westbrook put the game away. The kick in the crotch came when Frank Gore fumbled near the goal line, taking away 3 Champ points instead of giving 6. Westbrook's 33 points represented the highest individual total of the week.

Fresh Legs (2-1): The supposedly questionable Brian Westbrook is proving to be worth everything Baron hoped for when he 1) made him his first ever player and 2) traded away his 1st rounder this year for. The maligned (by me) Reggie Brown (7.50) had his first non-td game, but took in 7 passes for 100+ yds and is a fine WR3 this season. Ahman Green (16) is having a better season than the man kept over him (Thomas Jones- 6.50) so far. Green (along with Tatum Bell) have every owner that passed on them wondering why. For the second straight week, Baron sets a personal high score, and for the first time ever has a high-score week in the VUFSA. Additionally, Baron now has the highest overall point total for the league on the season, the first owner not named Ed Schillinger to have that title since Week 1 of last season.

ChamPeons (2-1): The good fortune of Champ came to an end on two fronts- as the loss blemished their sparkling record, and his two 49er studs (Frank Gore and Vernon Davis) were hurt on the same play. Davis is out for at least a month, whereas Gore is questionable for next week. Andre Johnson (12.50) is quietly having the breakout year he was supposed to be having the last two seasons. Joseph Addai (2.50) is tough to judge after this game- the Jags are maybe the best defense in the world, especially against the run- but his performance hurts as a starting RB. The VUFSWA wondered aloud if they could continue to get dual production from Laurence Maroney (6.50) and Corey Dillon (1); this week they didn't. Again, Daunte Culpepper's fantasy numbers (13.25) remain solid despite reality.

===============

The Slumpbusters: 116.00
Naj Davenport's Poop: 112.75

Game Summary: When I got home from work at 11e on Monday, this game was .25 points apart. Michael Vick's garbage time rushing eventually led to a comfy Eli win, but it was really a good heavyweight fight. Despite the Denver Bells not actually facing off, Mike's shit game hurt way more than Tatum's fantasy benching. Hines Ward not showing up in a high scoring divisional game was a huge factor here. SLM holds their breath until Friday morning.

The Slumpbusters (2-1): Five double digit scorers led by Clinton Portis' 24 points in his SLM debut. Michael Vick (10) was fine in his first start, but as fate would have it Bulger was a better start this week. Eli still lacks a defined every week starter, although that isn't an all together bad thing. Roy Williams (15.50) proved (for a week at least) to be worthy of the #6 pick in the draft, making this the highly touted WRs corps best week. The other R. Williams at WR, not as good a game. Gieryna probably outthought himself here, as keeping Tatum Bell in the starting lineup would have given him our first 120 point performance of the season. Eli is now 3-0 in week 3s, averaging 127.67 points in that span.

Naj Davenport's Poop (1-2): Tough, tough week for Viano to swallow, losing with the 5th highest score all year, and the most point of any loser all season long. It had to be horrible on Monday, watching Jerious Norwood do nothing while Michael Vick made up the deficit without contest. Willie Parker (25.50) is just ridiculous right now, though Ronnie Brown (10) is struggling a bit in the Miami offense. Mike Bell's 1 point performance means that his role is almost gone in Denver right now, maybe he'll pop back up late in the season if Tatum wears down. Hines Ward has the famous name, but he's a very average WR right now; Javon Walker (19.50) is the teams WR1. Greg Jennings (12.50) had one sensational play lead to a super week in the WR3-by-comittee Andy will deploy. Despite being just one point behind the league leader, is below .500 on the season.

===============

The Nihilist Marmot: 92.75
Tice's Partyboat: 79.75

Game Summary: Sunday morning brought no good news for TPB, as he awoke to an injured Chris Brown, Ruben Droughns and Adam Vinateri. Droughns remained in the lineup based on positive pregame news, but tossed a zero on the board, helping TNM overcome a poopy Kurt Warner.

The Nihilist Marmot (2-1): Darrell Jackson (18) carried the load for JR, as one of just 2 players in double figures. Cadillac Williams and his intact spleen managed to produce 11 points for the other. Tiki Barber (9) picked a good week to have a bad performance, and newest Marmot DeShaun Foster (6.50) chipped in respectably. The addition of Travis Henry (7) continues to pay dividends for Radcliffe, as he's a decent flex play when he's the man. An uninspiring week for TNM, but after a rough loss last week it just good to get back into the win column before a really tough bye week.

Tice's Partyboat (0-3): If VUFSA Football were VUFSA Baseball, Drew Wolf would be playing the role of Ed Schillinger. Armed with a talented team, sits at the bottom of the standings without a really good reason. Has played an awfully tough slate so far, but that can't be to blame for the 2nd lowest cumulative score in the league. Had a miserable Monday Night, with 4 players combining for 19.50 points when 30+ were needed. Antwaan Randle El (8.50) had a better week than Randy Moss has all year, and Keyshawn Johnson is proving to be a rock solid WR2 option for any team. Edgerrin James is still a solid back, but it's becoming clearer every week that he's past his prime and the Arizona O-Line isn't helping him. Drew is now a combined 1-8 through the season's first 3 weeks over the past 3 years.

===============

Madd Skillz: 82.50
Father Abraham: 81.25

Game Summary: The second of two Monday Night Thunderings this week, as former FA WR Joe Horn put up 3.50 points on Monday to lead SKL to 3-0. Holding a slim lead after the 1st set of games, got a great performance from Matt Hasselbeck to keep it within Horn's range.

Madd Skillz (3-0): A shameful trio of feats this week: Least points of any winner; lowest score in franchise history; one of 2 teams to win while recording their lowest score ever. Has to be relieved winning a game in which the league's two best players sat out. Big time disappointment from the Bengals Johnson, especially Chad. A zero from the flex spot and a 1 from the RB3 spot opened the door for the much-maligned Kevan Barlow (9) to become the team's second leading scorer. This game all came down to Hasselbeck however, as his heroic performance rewarded my misplaced loyalty and took the team to 3-0. Schillinger is now 10-1 in games played before Week 5.

Father Abraham (1-2): If Lincoln had a "people to kill" list, I'm sure I would be on it. Got a good game from Donovan McNabb (21.50) but was hurt by his lack of production once the game was in hand- the opposite of Hasselbeck, who threw 4 TDs after establishing a 2 TD lead. Anquan Boldin (11.50) was as good as ever, but Jamal Lewis (8) and Fred Taylor (7.50) left something to be desired after facing two favorable run defenses. Drew Bennett (7.50) continues his reign as a very good flex play. This is the second straight week that Souzek has lost by 0.75 points, and sits at 1-2 despite being a mere 2 points from 3-0. I think it's official that Eli's luck in Fantasy Football is no longer worst in the league. It's like comparing the Red Sox 'curse' to the Cubs'.

===============

Cellar Dwellers: 95.75
Who is Ron Mexico: 94.00

Game Summary: Despite the redemption of Li'l Eli Manning and TJ Housmandzadeh, WIRM falls just a bit short because of Tom Brady's garbage time greatness. A relatively high scoring affair when you consider that 5 players in the matchup had 0.25 points or less. Dave Tomke has gone on record as saying that "Sean Payton is an asshole" after the New Orleans coach denied Reggie Bush the precious extra 2 points that Dave needed on Monday night.

Cellar Dwellers (2-1): Good News: 2-1 on the season. Bad News: I think we all know what's coming here. I hope Stem enjoyed Shaun Alexander's 11 points this week, because they're all he'll have to go on for a while. Luckily, Kevin Jones (18.50) seems to finally be getting well, and though LaMont Jordan is terrible, he's at least playing next week. Donte Stallworth's last second deactivation hurt in the form of a zeroed out flex spot, and Anthony Thomas' irrelevance didn't help either. The -1 from Plaxico Burress is damning in 2 ways: he was miserable when he was in and he wasn't in long enough to make up for his mistakes, benched in the second half. I just wrote how keeping Burress over Roy Williams was smart and now I look like a jackass.

Who Is Ron Mexico (0-3): Housmandzadeh and Eli Manning were 20+ point bright spots this week, as were the league's leading WR Muhsin Muhammed (9.50) and Jeff Wilkins (10). Chester Taylor (8.50) had a down week, but that'll happen when you play the Bears, and Reggie Bush fell just short on Monday Night. Ron Dayne (7.50) now appears to be a safe play every week, and should only improve as the season moves forward. Deion Branch didn't do a ton in his 2006 debut, but the all-of-a-sudden air-oriented Seahawk offense will only help Dave's WRs. Despite a 52 point outing in Week 1, Dave's scoring average is up almost 5 full points from last season, and he's averaging 94.63 points over the last two weeks.

===============

Later this week: A Jamiefied Power Rankings, a data-rich post from the Wolfman (hopefully), the Week 4 preview, and the VUFSA's 30,000th point.

Top 10 Willie Wanna-Be's

So who will claim the role of This Year's Willie Parker -- the pickup off the waiver wire that goes on to bear significant impact in the VUFSA? The Steelers running back was picked from the scrap heap last year by Fred Lane's Wife and finished with 160 points, tied for second-most on the team. There is no clear-cut choice this year (yes there is) but here are 10 possible waiver wire wonders:

10. Mark Clayton, Naj Davenport's Poop: Why not start with the same owner, making a move designed to bolster a bye-hampered team in Week 4? Clayton has always been a maybe-breakout prospect at receiver for the Baltimore Ravens, and he'll have a chance with Javon Walker and Hines Ward at home knitting on Sunday. Parker, for what it's worth, will also be watching reruns of The Office on Sunday.

9. Michael Jenkins, Tice's Partyboat: He had a great first week and has been super-pootastic ever since, but most people like Jenkins to have a breakout-type year and to get him on the waiver wire was a nice move. The fact that he was useless Monday was very nice of him.

8. Charlie Frye, Who is Ron Mexico: The pride of Ohio will get a chance right away, with Dave Tomke appointing the Browns quarterback to the helm while Eli Manning takes a breather from coming of age. Of course, he's a pansy, since the flaming paper reports Frye's "general soreness" has made him a slight injury concern in Week 4. Then again, it's easy to have general soreness when you've been sacked 12 times. Also, specific soreness.

7. Rex Grossman, The Slumpbusters: Part of owner Eli Gieryna's harem of quarterbacks, Grossman is a local love who has shown that he can really, really suck and also sometimes, not suck. He's purely an insurance policy at this point, but he does have more points than either of the other three choices on Gieryna's squad.

6. Travis Henry, The Nihilist Marmot: Henry was named the starter before the season by an unnamed source citing his/her own fancy, and at the time the pickup looked slick. Chris Brown did shoulder the load in the first two weeks for Tennesse, however, but a surprise inactive in Week 3 suggests Henry could be a valuable asset during the season, even if he wears "Tennessee" somehwere on his outfit. Two touchdowns in week one put him back on the map.

5. Amani Toomer, Who Is Ron Mexico: Toomer is most famous for being dropped in favor of someone else on this list, and outperforming that someone else to the tune of defeat for Eli Gieryna, with advice from JR Radcliffe leading to the demise. My bad. Toomer is pretty much a hit-or-miss property, but he will get lots of action if the Giants continue to blow like they did Sunday and get down by 100 points in the first half.

4. Maurice Jones-Drew, Who is Ron Mexico: After going 12 yards on four carries in weeks one and two combined, his 103-yard day in Week 3 plus a receiving touchdown made him a very sudden hot commodity, especially with injuries to Matt Jones and Fred Taylor (pending). He may not even crack Tomke's lineup this week, since the former expansion franchise has stacked a nice crew of backs. Don't forget bring your shit-ton if you want Reggie Bush.

3. Michael Robinson, Who Is Ron Mexico: Let's just get Tomke out of the way. Even though Robinson may not start this week, his WR/RB eligibility makes him a very attractive commodity, especially if Frank Gore struggles to play in Week 4 after suffering an injury in Week 3. The former Penn State quarterback looked good on the goal line chances, says ESPN Lead Nerd Eric Karabell, and will be a very nice pickup if Gore stays down.

2. Chris Henry, Madd Skillz: He ruined two owners in two weeks when The Nihilist Marmot and The Slumpbusters had his felonies on their roster and he did nothing. But he did have two touchdowns last week and has been hyped often by fantasy experts everywhere. The Cincy offense could evolve into the nouveau Colts, with Henry as the black Brandon Stokley.

1. Maurice Morris, The Slumpbusters: We all raced to our computers when we learned of Shaun Alexander's foot death yesterday, but Eli Gieryna, who is a whore, got there first. The former backup in Seattle may not carry the load for most of the year, and he certianly won't have the offensive line that made Alexander a superstar last season, but he is temporarily one of the hottest waiver acquirings of the year. Hooray, Eli, for being lowest on the "Having A Life" count. Naturally, I'm just jealous. Whore.

NyQuil and Fantasy Football Wins Will Help You Get Your Zzzs

I couldn't sleep last night.

Miserably I writhed in pain with each Falcons possession. With three offensive Falcons and 30+ points to make up, I could not believe that Atlanta had come into this game 2-0. The only explanation for this undefeated record in the midst of such pathetic play could be a scheduling gaffe pitting the Falcons against the Cleveland Browns and the Valparaiso Crusaders. I did have Drew Brees going on the Saints side of the ball, but New Orleans was content scoring on blocked punts, gadget reverses, and John Carney field goals. Alas, my season came to a close falling to 0-3 with the second lowest cumulative point total in the league.

Naturally, I moped and whined about it and let it keep me awake.

I recalled an amusing exchange earlier in the morning. Becky and I have compromised on CNN Headline News' "Robin and Company" as the TV show that is on in the background while we getting ready for the day. She doesn't care for Sportscenter and the Today show doesn't do anything for me (cooking segments where hosts pretend to make and then like the dish are unoriginal and non-entertaining). As such, we found a show that, generally speaking, surrounds an attractive ditz who reads the news with two guys - one sports and one weather - who refreshingly know their place on the show and poke fun at the host without it shouting, "YOU ARE A STUPID MORON!"

And so Robin (newslady) asks Bob (weatherdude), "How's the weather going to be for the Monday night game tonight?"

Bob: "Um, it'll be 71 without a drop of rain."

Robin: "Oh, that'll be nice."

Bob: "It's in a dome."

My thoughts began to drift and with this fantastic, live conversation in mind, I thought about CNN and the news. Condoleezaa Rice and Bill Clinton are arguing about who tried harder to kill a man. This mind you was the lead story on CNN. Translated into sports, can you imagine if ESPN's lead story was "Carolina Panthers tried harder to rupture Chris Simms spleen than the Cincinnati Bengals did to maim Trent Green." Seriously. This is why I can't get into politics and take tremendous delight that I now reside in the state that voted a wrestler governor.

So my mind decided to relive to a conversation I had the other day with WVUR station advisor, Paul Oren. Due to my own laziness and overall lack of desire to deal with EIS, I am still the WVUR list serve moderator for, I think, all of the e-mail list serves. Paul decided to dust off the alumni list serve that my predecessors and I had worked hard to establish and actually use it. Pleased enough at this prospect, I returned Paul's phone call from roughly two weeks prior (hey, I was busy...with stuff...or something). After getting nowhere with the list serve, he began to tell me about this big concert that he "had no idea how much was going to cost." (Great advising.) The station was getting co-sponsorship help from another organization. The show was inexplicably sponsored by the College Democrats. I wondered about the reasoning behind this unlikely duo and decided this morning to check the WVUR webpage to see if there was any update on the show or anything else. This will do recruiting proud.

After that train of thought, I had to steer it back into sports. If I couldn't sleep, at least I should think about something more pleasant (son of a bitch, I misspelled it AGAIN...I need a thesaurus). So the Twins clinched a playoffs spot. The Cleveland Indians had a rare win absolutely demolishing the White Sox and bringing me a small element of satisfaction. I would later wake up to find that my new favorite pitcher, Boof Bonser, was the winning pitcher in the Metrodome last evening. He pitched Minnesota into the playoffs in front of 18,108 people - less than 40% full.

Ok, at least I'm on the thought process of baseball. A wonderful topic. I remember back when I was putting a run together to catch Eli. That was fun. I gambled away my 2007 draft to make a push. That didn't really pan out. In fact, instead of catching him, I fell to third. So I wasted away next season to move one spot in the wrong direction. Poop.

Now that brings me to what I'm going to do to salvage the 2006 football season and turn it around in 2007.

Ah, the sleepless thought process has come full circle. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was an hour later than when this all started. So what does it all mean? At 12:47am, it meant one thing. I have to pee.

Hurricanes and Thunder

As much as it pains me to knock Jean-Cladue Van Damme (and yes I realize he'll probably dance over to Blaine, Minnesota and kick my ass), I had to comment on what will be an epic game tonight. Sure there's that whole Hurricane Katrina aspect to it, but what ESPN, CNN, and Deadspin should all be following are the storylines concerning the VUFSA.

Naj Davenport's Poop: 112.75
The Slumpbusters: 107.50

Michael Vick needs to overcome Jerious Norwood and 5.25 points for The Gun.

Cellar Dwellers: 95.75
Who Is Ron Mexico?: 85.00

Reggie Bush needs 10.75 to tie and anything greater than to knock off Stem.

Father Abraham: 81.75
Madd Skillz: 79.00

Joe Horn needs 2.75 for Edwin to survive his baddest bye.

The Nihilist's Marmot: 92.75
Tice's Partyboat: 60.25

Drew Brees, Warrick Dunn, Alge Crumpler, and Michael Jenkins need to overcome a 32.5 defecit to keep the partyboat from sinking.

Some damn good games coming to a close tonight. Please comment.

Week 3 Open Thread

This week's open thread is brought to you by the dancing of Jean Claude Van Damme.



I think we could all learn a thing or two from those moves.

Week 3 Preview

Now that we've had a respectable week, I think it's worth pointing out that this year's point spreads are not taken from Yahoo's projections, but are hand made by the VUFSWA.

=========

Game of the Week

ChamPeons vs. Fresh Legs (-9)

A battle for first place? Kind of...Undefeated CHM needs to defend his spotless record against this year's 'Stem'...Baron has every offensive player playing on their home field...Champ and Baron have played each other one time, Champ winning a low scoring affair in week 7 of 2005.

News and Notes, CHM

News of Terrell Owens' broken finger went from 'out for 4 weeks' to 'out 2-4 weeks' to 'may not miss any games.' We'll be spared the saga this week in the VUFSA because Owens and his CHM teammate Julius Jones have an ill-timed by for the freshly employed one...Got all you could ask for from real-life teammates Corey Dillon and Laurence Maroney last week, but I wonder how long production from both of them will last. Sooner or later, it's going to come down to one of them...the plus to that is the emergence of Joseph Addai, whose role as Indy's #1 back wasn't supposed to get here until much later in the season. He looks ahead of schedule...Daunte Culpepper is bad, and it's reasonable to wonder if he will ever be good again- he better have a great game against Tennessee...Key Byes: Terrell Owens, Julius Jones, Eddie Kennison...Key Injuries: None

News and Notes, FL

A questionable Brian Westbrook leaves a big question mark for Baron, especially with the Niners on the schedule...While he has some depth at the position, Westbrook is the only true stud on the team right now, with Duece McAllister threatened by Reggie Bush...Chris Chambers should have a monster game against the Titans, but will have to send some fantasy points CHM's way in order to do so...Reggie Brown has been productive, though hauling in only 3 passes, 2 have been for TDs...Carson Palmer has a tough go against PIT, the last time he played them he left the field with no knee ligaments...Good call with Ahman Green, who has another great matchup, even though Baron has asked me not to speak on his lineup choices anymore...It's a good call because Dominic Rhodes plays Jacksonville, a city in which Baron and I visited this very weekend just 2 years ago. It was a miserable trip...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Brian Westbrook (Questionable), Laverneus Coles (Questionable)

On Deck

The Slumpbusters vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (+11.5)

Week 3 has been historically good to both of these franchises: Both average 133+ points in this stage of the game...Viano set his all-time high score in week 3 with 157.00 in 2004, while Gieryna threw up 163.75 at this time last year...The Denver Bells come to center stage in this one, and if one can drastically outscore the other, it may prove to be the difference...Viano has taken 2 of 3 lifetime against The Gun.

News and Notes, SLM

Fresh off a rare low score of the week, SLM comes out with a new QB, Clinton Portis, and some killer matchups...Michael Vick is set for Monday Night Thunder against a suspect Saints defense. Vick has been amazing through two weeks, and seems like a smart play. However, SLM has had trouble with historically inconsistent QBs (Daunte) in the past...Last week I mentioned that when you own three Rams "you have 4 games on the schedule you're guaranteed giddy about, and this is one of them." This is another one of those four games...Willis McGahee plays the Jets and Portis eases back against the Texans. (Likewise, Santana Moss also draws Houston) While Andy is blessing those Texans now, he may curse them after Portis goes for 120 and a TD...Ben Watson gets the nod this week over a hobbled Jeremy Shockey...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Clinton Portis (Probable), Jeremy Shockey (Probable)

News and Notes, NDP

Peyton Manning draws a JAX defense fresh off a shutout of the Super Bowl Champs. While the Jags are very, very good, the Colt offense will still put up points. Manning has managed 19 TDs in 9 games against the Jaguars...Willie Parker was held down by that Jacksonville defense last week, but has good history against the Bengals; tallying 130 yards and a TD in their last meeting...Hines Ward is off to a slow start, just 82 receiving yards so far. He needs Ben Roethlisberger to get healthy and in his rythym quickly for him to return to elite status...Ronnie Brown, Jerious Norwood and Todd Heap all have superb matchups this week (TEN, NO, CLE, resp.)...Let it be said that I love the young trio of backs Viano has stashed away in Norwood, Benson and M. Barber III; all have a chance to be prime-timers late in the season, and if things fall the right way, could be the #1 reason if Viano wins the whole damn thing...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Hines Ward (Probable), Matt Jones (Questionable), Mike Bell (Probable)

The 3 Spot

Tice's Partyboat vs. The Nihilist Marmot (-0.5)

Small spread on a game we can't agree on- the only instance where we can't pick a favorite so far. JR and his stronger past performance get the gentle nod...A first comes from this game: Neither Drew nor JR has ever won a game in week 3 to this point; with Wolfman putting up his all-time low at this time in 2004 (71.00)...Drew holds a 2-1 lead in the regular season over his best man, though Radcliffe beat the Blaine Browns in last year's 3rd place game, evening the score.

News and Notes, TPB

Did you know the Saints return to the Superdome this week? Drew Brees (born in Texas, went to Purdue, played 5 seasons in San Diego) is a poster boy for the city's revival, just like Reggie Bush (never lived anywhere but California, ever)...Warrick Dunn, who is playing in New Orleans this week, is running all over the place. Well, not ALL over the place, just in between the goal lines...Edgerrin James has a decent matchup this week, and needs to improve upon his 68.5 ypg average...Ruben Droughns plays Baltimore this week, so his slow start may continue...Alge Crumpler is playing in New Orleans this week, did you know ESPN is holding Monday Night Football there? I wonder if they'll mention the hurricane at all on the broadcast...Why does Drew get to make Kevan Barlow jokes while starting Chris Brown? Isn't that like Brandi Timmerman making fun of my belt?...Key Byes: Randy Moss...Key Injuries: Ruben Droughns (Questionable)

News and Notes, TNM

The Foster-Housh deal tipped a little further in Dave's direction with the inclusion of a 4th round pick, but JR does get an upgrade at RB3 for the time being...With Antonio Bryant playing the way he has, Housh and his hurt heel were very expendable...Having Corell Buckhalter is key in a week where Brian Westbrook may not play- could be a game-time lineup change based on his status...I like Ben Troupe, even though Kerry Collins may not...Key Byes: Tony Gonzalez...Key Injuries: Travis Henry (Questionable)

Batting Cleanup

Madd Skillz vs. Father Abraham (-17)

I'm probably playing up the revenge thing more than he is, but it's got to be in the back of his mind...All the players from the league's first trade of the season will see action in this game, with the Houston running game playing a pivotal role...wait, really? The Houston running game?...One remnant from a previous trade also suits up for the other side, as Chad Johnson takes on the team that drafted him...Lincoln is 2-1 vs. Schillinger all-time, though Schillinger won last season's lone battle.

News and Notes, SKL

A victim of a horrific bye week this week, but I don't expect anyone to give out so much as an ounce of pity. Therefore, I won't mention it again through the preview...Makeshift running back crew consists of Kevan Barlow, the new starter in New Jersey with a decent matchup; Young Brandon Jacobs, who could vulture a goal line carry, and Wali Lundy, who should get 3-4 carries...Rudi Johnson has been stellar this season, but has a real rough go against the Steelers, who he has struggled against through his career...We could see Steve Smith's 2006 debut, which is nice since there are no other eligible WR on the roster. Just don't hurt yourself further, Steve...Chad Johnson didn't know where he was after a vicious hit last week, we'll see if it has a lingering effect...Matt Hasselbeck needs to repay me for my loyalty to him by at least matching Donovan McNabb who plays...the 49ers. Damnit...Key Byes: LaDanian Tomlinson, Larry Johnson, Antonio Gates, Terry Glenn...Key Injuries: Steve Smith (Questionable), Pvt. Kellen Winslow (probable), Chad Johnson (knocked retarded, seen below)



News and Notes, FA

Jamal Lewis has owned the Browns in his lifetime, averaging 133 yards per game against them, including a 295 yard day a few years ago. If he's healthy, he's good for a monster game...Donovan McNabb, the best player in our league, gets a juicy matchup against the 49ers and should continue his TO-less mojo...Joey Galloway had a big game last week, but until Chris Simms becomes dependable, he's a worrisome play...Desmond Clark is a great bye week fill-in...Anquan Boldin will get some big yardage against the Rams...Samkon Gado will probably be the eventual starter in Houston, he looked great getting 12 ypc last week...Last time I pulled off a 2-1 deal featuring a WR from Washington with Lincoln, said WR caught 2 TD passes the following week and he beat me. Rod Gardner (sent with Chester Taylor for Chad) has set a standard for Brandon Lloyd to try and match...Key Byes: Jason Witten...Key Injuries: Jamal Lewis (Questionable), Troy Williamson (Questionable)

The 5 Hole

Who is Ron Mexico? vs. Cellar Dwellers (-13.5)

Stem is 1-0 lifetime against Dave.

News and Notes, WIRM

Really wants to start Marques Colston (who plays on Monday Night Football as football returns to New Orleans!) and can if TJ Houshmandzadeh doesn't play...Chester Taylor has been everything you could want and more, but does play the greatest team ever this week...Reggie Bush (they're reopening the Superdome, did you know?) has a tough go against a great ATL defense...DeAngelo Williams is a WIRM starter (keeper?) from here on out as 1st stringer DeShaun Foster has been sent away...We'll get a rough idea of what to expect from Deion Branch when he debuts in in Seattle...Ron Dayne makes for the 3rd Houston Running back to earn a starting VUFSA spot, which is both sad and embarrassing...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: TJ Houshmandzadeh (Questionable)

News and Notes, CD

Is LaMont Jordan's bye week actually considered hurtful at this point? When the replacement is Anthony Thomas, yes it is...Shaun Alexander will do what he does and Kevin Jones draws Green Bay, so there is still hope for a good output from the RBs...Donte Stallworth is the #2 receiver in the league now, behind a fluky Amani Toomer...1st rounder Tom Brady has gotten off to a slow start, but now that the mental trauma of losing Deion Branch is gone, look for him to focus more...As long as LJ Smith plays (he should) he'll have a nice day...Derrick Mason should get into the end zone this week...Key Byes: LaMont Jordan, Keenan McCardell...Key Injuries: Shaun Alexander (Probable), LJ Smith (Probable)

Week 2 Power Rankings

With all due respect to the 2004 draft recap, I figured I'd pound out a quick post relevant to this season. Since the power rankings were much maligned last season, they had been to this point discontinued. Since the league has more up for grabs, and it's a very easy post- here's what the standings don't tell you, back for one week only.

The Last Check referenced below refers to the preseason poll, where through two weeks, only the top and bottom teams were really aptly placed.

================

1. Madd Skillz (2-0) Last Check: 1st (-)

-Top scoring team in both weeks so far is undefeated heading into just about the worst by week imaginable. If the rankings return next week, will likely fall from the top spot, and JR will explode.

2. The Nihilist Marmot (1-1) LC: T-6th (+4)

-2nd highest overall scorer has put up two exceptional weeks and has a killer air attack. Running game is suspect, but a healthy Tiki and Caddy will be a force.

3. Fresh Legs (1-1) LC: T-6th (+3)

-Like TNM, has a tough luck week as well as a #2 overall score under his svelte belt. Great RB depth and an on track Carson Palmer- this is a playoff team as is.

4. Naj Davenport's Poop (1-1) LC: T-4th (-)

-Just a point in week one from being 2-0, has an extremely interesting battle this week against SLM, with one of those traditional heavyweights dropping to 1-2.

5. Father Abraham (1-1) LC: 9th (+4)

-Like NDP, just a point from being 2-0, and will punish Madd Skillz in week 3 for helping deprive them of that point. Donovan McNabb is an absolute monster.

6. ChamPeons (2-0) LC: 8th (+2)

-Half of the league's undefeated teams sits 6th in our rankings after managing just the 9th best score in a win last week, and the 7th highest overall. A hungry Baron Brendel is coming in week 3, so Champ has to prove what he's made of.

7. The Slumpbusters (1-1) LC: 2nd (-5)

-Numbers 7-9 were unfathomable preseason. SLM has not played overwhelmingly well, but get considerably better with Clinton Portis healthy. Like the next two teams, their stay at the bottom should be short.

8. Cellar Dwellers (1-1) LC: 3rd (-5)

-Last season's runner up has been let down at every stop by what should be a top-3 running back corps. Shaun Alexander has got to go off sometime, and now CD is just staying afloat until he does, and LaMont Jordan gets right.

9. Tice's Partyboat (0-2) LC: T-4th (-4)

-While the complaint that the sit 0-2 with more points than 2-0 CHM is valid, that's more of a testament to CHM's good fortune rather than TPB's bad luck. Just the 6th best cumulative score, and hasn't registered a top-5 score either week. 0-2 is actually their expected record.

10. Who Is Ron Mexico? (0-2) LC: 10th (-)

-I like the Foster-HoushmanireallyhateJRnowthathetradedme for both sides, but especially for WIRM. TNM gets a solid RB option in the short term, while WIRM maintains the long-term answer in Carolina, plus a rock solid WR2, once he's healthy.

Party Like It's 2004!

As much delight as I take being a 140 pound man eating nachos while watching NBC's The Biggest Loser, I thought my Wednesday evening might be better spent writing a piece for our beloved VUFSA blog. Two weeks in it's hard to pick out a ton of trends, and I don't have the fancy spreadsheet of Ed's that predicts how many points we are all going to have at the end of week 3. As such, I thought I'd delve back in history and take a peek at the inaugural 2004 football draft. Those were before the days of keepers, Nate Burleson, and Reggie Bush, and you could still get a superstar without having to offer your first born. As such, I present to you the VUFSA's first ever draft - the 2004, 8 team affair!

1. P. Holmes Gun
2. L. Tomlinson Ed
3. S. Alexander Stem
4. E. James Wolf
5. D. McAllister Viano
6. C. Portis Champ
7. A. Green Souzek
8. M. Harrison JR

Knowing what we know today, these picks, overall, are pretty solid. Priest Holmes has gone the way of Trent Green and lost his head in the Arrowhead turf somewhere, but he still put up really good numbers in '04. Picks 2, 3, and 4 are still with their original owners and are the cornerstone of three of last year's four playoff teams. Deuce got hurt and subsequently traded before having some of his touches cut by the best college back in decades, but still puts up solid points for Baron. Portis has bounced around a bit but when healthy is an elite back. Ahman Green was really good, then really hurt, then on a really awful Packer team, and I think the jury is still out on what he's going to do with the rest of his career. And pick 8 shows that JR had an aversion to running backs even in 2004.

Round 2:

1. R. Moss JR
2. J. Lewis Souzek
3. M. Faulk Champ
4. P. Manning Viano
5. C. Dillon Wolf
6. T. Holt Stem
7. R. Johnson Ed
8. D. Culpepper Gun

Continuing his avoidance of running backs, JR grabbed Randy Moss who also has bounced around the league. Jamal Lewis was a lot better before he went to jail. Marshall Faulk was part of the greatest show on turf and was later traded for Moss, but is the second player in the draft who is now inconsequential (really in '04 if we said in two years Faulk and Holmes were going to be out of the league in just two years, who would have guessed it?). Peyton Manning went 12th overall. Hard to believe that even in our running back crazy league, there are still 11 players who warranted drafting before Peyton. Corey Dillon had a solid '04 with the Super Bowl champs. Torry Holt is still a top tier receiver, just not with Stem. Rudi Johnson compliments LT in Ed's greatest running backs in '06 roster. Eli drafted Culpepper back when Daunte was a Moss throwin', Partyboat ridin', wheelin', dealin' son of a bitch!

Round 3
1. D. Davis Eli
2. M. Hasselbeck Ed
3. C. Pennington Stem
4. M. Vick Wolf
5. T. Owens Viano
6. F. Taylor Champ
7. D. McNabb Souzek
8. H. Ward JR

Domanick Davis went earlier than I remember with the 17th overall selection. Ed has a thing for Hasselbeck, so that's not all that surprising. Look at the names who went 19 and 20. QBs Chad Pennington and Michael Vick certainly didn't pan out for Stem and I, especially considering Donovan McNabb went three picks later. JR, again, still hates running backs bring his roster at this point to 3 WR, 0 RBs, and 0 QBs. By the way, he finished second overall.

Round 4
1. T. Gonzalez JR
2. C. Johnson Souzek
3. K. Barlow Champ
4. T. Henry Viano
5. S. Davis Wolf
6. E. Moulds Stem
7. S. Moss Madd Skillz
8. B. Westbrook Gun

It's now at 3 WR, 1 TE, 0 RBs, and 0 QBs for Radcliffe. Chad Johnson went fairly low in the draft and in the same round as Eric Moulds. Souzek beats Stem on that one. Everyone loves Kevan Barlow, but it was Champ who showed him the first TLC. It's fun to look back and see a time when Travis Henry and Stephen Davis were relevant starters and not waiver wire back ups. Santana Moss would pay dividends for Edwin the next season when I drafted him and cut him in favor of Drew Bennett. Then there's Brian Westbrook who fell far down on the running back list going to Eli.

Round 5
1. D. Mason Gun
2. S. Smith Ed
3. T. Heap Stem
4. J. Horn Wolf
5. C. Brown Viano
6. D. Jackson Champ
7. C. Rogers Souzek
8. S. McNair JR

Three of the first four picks in round 5 were wideouts with Steve Smith being right in the middle and the best of the Mason-Smith-Horn pack. Chris Brown and Darrel Jackson were serviceable enough. Holy crap Charles Rogers went in the top 5 rounds. That's amazing to me. And for those scoring, JR now has a quarterback to go with those 3 wide receivers and no running backs. Did I mention he finished second?

Round 6
1. An. Johnson JR
2. J. McCareins Souzek
3. K. Robinson Champ
4. J. Walker Viano
5. C. Martin Wolf
6. Q. Griffin Stem .
7. W. Dunn Ed
8. K. Winslow Gun

JR's tally: 4 WRs, 1 QB, 1 TE, 0 RBs.
Justin McCareins? A tough follow up for Souzek after the Charles Rogers selection in round 5. Javon Walker fell a way down the draft board but ended up with Viano who apparently has a "thing" for Walker and would later draft him in '06 too. Curtis Martin was a pleasant (damn it, I misspelled "pleasant" again) surprise for me in '04 leading the league in rushing for a good part of the season. Quentin Griffin was the running back du jour in Denver. Warrick Dunn was drafted after Chris Brown and Quentin Griffin. Kellen Winslow was hot stuff coming out of Miami. His arm would later snap and an unfortunate incident involving a tricycle would detour his '04 and '05 seasons.

Round 7
1. L. Coles Gun
2. A. Crumpler Ed
3. K. Jones Stem
4. I. Bruce Wolf
5. C. Chambers Viano
6. A. Brooks Champ
7. C. Garner Souzek
8. T. Barber JR

Coles, Crumpler, and Jones are all big players still in 2006. Issac Bruce is proving to be ageless. Chris Chambers has been a Baron-favorite. Aaron Brooks, ick. Wow, remember Charlie Garner? He would play all of 3 games in 2004 before retiring. Somehow, someway JR managed to end up with Tiki Barber despite avoiding running backs until now. I bet Lincoln wished he had taken Barber instead of Garner.

Round 8
1. W. Green JR
2. Ji. Smith Souzek
3. P. Burress Champ
4. M. Bennett Viano
5. P. Price Wolf
6. A. Toomer Stem
7. R. Wayne Ed
8. Ke. Johnson Gun

A few big name receivers slipped down to round 8 with Jimmy Smith going to Viano, Plaxico Burress falling to Champ, Reggie Wayne joining Edwin, and Keyshawn Johnson picking up with Eli. William Green (JR), Peerless Price (Wolf), Amani Toomer (Stem) did not fare quite as well.

Round 9
1. L. Fitzgerald Gun
2. B. Favre Ed
3. J. Wilkins Stem
4. M. Vanderjagt Wolf
5. J. Porter Viano
6. J. Shockey Champ
7. R. McMichael Souzek
8. J. Jones JR

Some fairly solid names here in round 9 after sitting through the Charlie Garners and Peerless Prices. Larry Fitzgerald is now a superstar and the Gun gets the credit for being the first owner of the sensational wideout. Brett Farve would be a first round pick the very next season. Kickers and tight ends went back to back with Stem and I going for the high octane offense kickers and Champ and Souzek grabbing a couple of names that are still starting tight ends today. Julius Jones was a real nice grab in round 9 for JR.

From here on out it gets a lot less interesting with role players, kickers, and defenders. Taking a look at a few highlights:

Round 13 pick 5: Everyone's favorite QB Trent Green to Viano
Round 14 pick 5: Marc Bulger to Wolf
Round 14 pick 8: Rod Smith to Eli
Round 15 pick 1: Stephen Jackson to Eli
Round 15 pick 3: Tom Brady to Stem
Round 16 pick 1: Drew Bennett to JR
Round 16 pick 5: Tatum Bell to Wolf
Round 17 pick 1: Willis McGahee to Eli
Round 17 pick 3: Roy Williams to Stem
Round 18 pick 3: Antonio Gates to Champ
Round 18 pick 4: Deion Branch to Viano
Round 18 pick 5: Jason Witten to Wolf
Round 19 pick 1: Jerry Rice to Eli

Week 2 Recap

The league average jumped 6 points this week- 101.50- and saw six teams go over 100 points- though no one over 120. With a low of 86.75, and the largest margin of victory at 15 points, it's clear we are in for a ton of close games. This year, we have had two consecutive weeks with one matchup decided by 0.75 points, the 2nd closest margin in VUFSA history.

===============

Madd Skillz: 116.75
The Nihilist Marmot: 105.00

Game Summary: Huge days from the SKL running backs trumped huge days from the TNM wide receivers. Darrell Jackson more than doubled his QB counterpart's point total. While the Chiefs lack of offense slowed Larry Johnson, it crippled Tony Gonzalez. Just two TNM TDs could not compete with 6 SKL scores.

Madd Skillz (2-0): Second straight high score week. Rudi Johnson (27) and LaDanian Tomlinson (24.50) are 2 of the three backs to amass 40+ point so far this season, and both were needed in this pretty close game. Chad Johnson (12) got on the board, but was murdered late in his game, and Terry Glenn's big Sunday Night game (13) was instrumental in holding off Ladell Betts' late charge. Larry Johnson (13.50) broke the 100 yard barrier, but fumbled inside the 5 yard line, a 9 point swing that would have given him a more studly 22.50 for the week. He did well without Trent Green, which is encouraging. Game-time add Joe Horn chipped in 6.50 and kept Lincoln off the list of undefeateds. More to come on that. Schillinger improves to 3-0 in Week 2s.

The Nihilist Marmot (1-1): To start at WR for JR Radcliffe, you must have this many yards: 127. Silly days abound for Darrell Jackson (15), Antonio Bryant (14), Marvin Harrison (9.50) and Reggie Wayne (9). Only the first two men reached the endzone, the only Marmots to do so. Cadillac Williams (3) is mired on a terrible Tampa Bay offense and is really off to a horrendous start. Tiki Barber (10.50) runs well, but is receiving even better. Robert Mathis tosses in a nice 11.50 point effort. Chad Pennington continues his astounding run of goodness, albeit on the bench.

===============

ChamPeons: 93.00
The Slumpbusters: 86.75

Game Summary: This matchup saw the two lowest scores of the week. Champ is sitting pretty after two weeks, but has done so recording the 6th and 9th highest scores in each respective week. Frank Gore and the NE backs were magnificent, but SLM getting just 2 TDs (both on the same play) is really what determined the outcome of this game.

ChamPeons (2-0): Starting two running backs from the same team is hardly a normal or popular strategy, but it couldn't have worked any better for Champ, as he got 26 points from Corey Dillon and Laurence Maroney combined. Daunte Culpepper sucks, but 13.75 is a respectable score. The WR corps got a lift from Andre Johnson (10) but Lee Evans (1) and the now Injured Terrell Owens (1.50) put up stinkers. Julius Jones (6) had a nice day rushing, but fumbled and didn't get the goal line call for the Cowboys, so his value is supect. Joseph Addai is about to become an every week play.

The Slumpbusters (1-1): It seems like it's feast or famine for Eli. Week 2 has not been kind, being one of just two weeks in which his franchise averages under 90 points. These are also the only two weeks that they don't average at least 110 points. Having three Rams on a week when they score just 13 points against the 49ers is murderous. When Clinton Portis comes back (next week?) he'll make Tatum Bell a fine flex play. The WRs have been serviceable, but not great, and Jeremy Shockey needs more than 1 point from a game in which the Giants score 30. Michael Vick is a primetime fantasy QB all of a sudden and will probably get the start next week. One more kick in the crotch: dropped Amani Toomer from a starting spot as well as his team in general for Chris Henry. Point differential between the two: 16.50.

===============

Naj Davenport's Poop: 108.25
Tice's Partyboat: 98.50

Game Summary: 3 keys to this one; Peyton Manning killed the Texans, Drew Brees turned it over three times, Chris Brown failed to gain even 10 yards. If Brees is turnover free and Brown manages just one more yard, Wolf wins. Or, if Manning wasn't such a stat hungry asshole, Drew stands a chance. Still, a good overall score for Viano despite his #2 scorer being a defender.

Naj Davenport's Poop (1-1): Peyton Manning (32.50) regained his 2004 form, a great time to do so. The Colts did run the ball better, which is a little concerning, but not enough. Even though it was a 10 point win, it really should have been bigger. The Steelers' shutout on Monday Night handcuffed Hines Ward (2.50) and Willie Parker (3.50). Javon Walker's (7.50) knee cancer is healed, although Jake Plummer is poopy. Todd Heap (8.50) quietly had a good game.

Tice's Partyboat (0-2): Drew Wolf's record during weeks 1 through 3 is 1-7. He is again 0-2 despite some decent scoring weeks. Double digits from each RB spot, though Edgerrin James' 10.50 is a little disappointing. Warrick Dunn (13) will be a monster if he can ever get into the end zone. Same can be said for Donald Driver (12). Keyshawn Johnson (7.50) remained a really solid option this week, but if Steve Smith ever returns, the WR are in trouble with Randy Moss (2) struggling for air.

===============

Cellar Dwellers: 101.00
Father Abraham: 100.25

Game Summary: Little story about my past weekend and how it directly relates to this games. Before work on Saturday, I went to Target with Jamie to buy some new pants for work. Mine had a hole in the crotch. Jamie has taken a bit of interest in the league and I was discussing with her SKL's need for some WR depth. I told her we had identical offers on the table for two similar receivers: Muhsin Muhammed and Joe Horn. She watched the Bears game last Sunday and reported that Moose looked awesome and in tune with Rexy. After much deliberation, I weighed the Saints potential against that of the Bears, and factored in the Bears lack of a supporting cast. I decided Muhammed would be a more stable option. I proposed that trade to Dave, while keeping Lincoln's proposal open just in case. Saturday night came, and no word from Dave, though we had an IM agreement earlier in the week, and I had IM'd him and emailed him to tell him to accept the goddamn thing. Come Sunday morning at 10a- leaving for work in a half hour- I have no word from David. I call him. Twice. Dave decides that without Deion Branch playing he needs Muhammed this week and he's no where near a computer. (Was he in the fucking woods? How far can you be from a computer nowadays?) Shortly after, I talk myself into how good Joe Horn could be becuase Rex Grossman is always hurt and the Bears run too much and the Saints have a better QB and will trail more. Needing a better option than Brandon Lloyd against the Cowboys to beat JR, I pull the trigger and plug Joe Horn into the lineup sending away Brandon Lloyd and Samkon Gado in the league's first trade. I quickly email Lincoln apologizing for the delay in the acceptance, and hoping the email would remind him to set his lineup on time. I tinker with the idea of using my 'commissioner tools' power to fill in his blank spot since if he lost eligibility it would be my fault for giving him just 2.5 hours of prep time, but think that's probably unethical. I then realize that he actually has 9.5 hours to fill it in, as Brandon Lloyd doesn't play until 8p. I wash my hands of it and go to work. This morning I notice that Lincoln was a mere point from being 2-0, and I check my email to find out that Mr. Souzek would have rather used the 13 Joey Galloway points he had on the bench had he had the time. So, I feel pretty awful that I probably caused Lincoln a loss because I am a dick who accepted a trade on Sunday Morning. Sorry.

Cellar Dwellers (1-1): Shaun Alexander (14.50) didn't exactly 'carry' CD this week, but his performance was much needed. Donte Stallworth (12.50) continues his run at "steal of the draft" while Plaxico Burress (14) makes his keepage over Roy Williams brilliant. All that is nice, but 24.75 points from Julius Peppers and Adrian Wilson are what won the game for Stem. Tied Champs defeat of Viano last week for 2nd smallest margin of victory in league history.
Both trail JR's Week 14 defeat of Eli in 2004 (0.50).

Father Abraham (1-1): Donovan McNabb (28.75) is the league's top scorer by a lot and Fred Taylor (11.50) remains solid as an RB2. Adalius Thomas was a man against Oakland, punishing Andrew Walter and Co for 14.50 points. Again, Brandon Lloyd notched 0.50 points while Joey Galloway's 13 points would have given the Father a comfy win and dropped last year's runner up to 0-2. We may talk about this one as we get closer to the playoffs.

===============

Fresh Legs: 110.00
Who is Ron Mexico: 95.25

Game Summary: Very respectable for WIRM this week, notching the exact same score this week as he did in week 2 of last season. Meanwhile, Baron set a new franchise record for points in a single game, and continues a better than steady start, 3rd in total points so far. 5 FL double digit performances outlast a valiant effort from L'il Eli Manning.

Fresh Legs (1-1): Carson Palmer (19) is back and so is Deuce McAllister (17.50). Laverneus Coles (14) continues to be a tremendous WR2 play while Chris Chambers (10) got into the end zone. Ahman Green and Dominic Rhodes present a pleasant problem at Flex for Baron as both should continue to be solid. Thomas Jones (6.50) will get better from here once the Bears commit to running more. The win snaps a 6 game Brendel losing streak dating back to Week 10 of last season.

Who is Ron Mexico (0-2): Elisha Manning (29.75) shouldn't be benched again, and will put up better than solid numbers for Dave from here on out. Braylon Edwards (7) is shaping up to be a solid option in a suprisingly useful Cleveland passing offense. Chester Taylor was an accidental keeper (meaning that once the season ended, he was not considered one) but is turning into a damn fine runner for Dave. Marques Colston (10) is probably going to prove me wrong about not being worth Chris Cooley's benching. DeAngelo Williams is the man in Carolina now, and solidifies the WIRM lineup even further.

Open Thread: Week 2

Our Week 2 open thread is sponsored by the dumbest Price is Right contestant ever.



In the second week, will Dave Tomke get enough points to defeat his arch nemesis? Can Lincoln and Champ continue their early-season success? Is anyone going to knock Ed Schillinger from his perch ... ever? How does that girl in the above video stay alive in her day-to-day life? Talk amongst yourselves.

Week 2 Preview

Game of the Week

Madd Skillz vs. The Nihilist Marmot (+16)

The two highest scoring teams from Week 1 do battle here...JR's smack talk has been waiting for this matchup all year long, quoting the classic film and making note of Ed's tremendous amount of Johnson...However "13 year olds, dude. 13 year olds" is my most relevant 'quote 'from the movie in recent times...Schillinger holds a 4-1 edge over Radcliffe all-time, though JR won the most recent battle, a crucial 136.50-130.25 win in Week 13 of last season.

News and Notes, SKL (1-0)

The Steve Smith saga continues, the talented WR refuses to practice and is again questionable for this week...After a donut hole in his place last week, a trade should be consumated soon to upgrade the WR corps...Great matchups for the Bengals Johnson again, as Rudi was great in Week 1 and has a history of torching the Browns...Also, SKL teammate Kellen Winslow vowed that Cleveland would shut down Chad Johnson, and Chad loves when people "diss" him...LaDanaian Tomlinson should continue his strong start to the season against Tennessee...BRANDON JACOBS is tenatively in the flex spot, though my mancrush is rapidly leading to my overvaluing of his abilities...Key Injuries: Steve Smith (questionable), Ed Reed (questionable)

News and Notes, TNM (1-0)

Week 1 stallion Kurt Warner is again a solid play, but should find the Seattle defense a bit different from the 49er D...trouble at the RB spots, as Cadillac is again struggling with back spasms after leaving last week early, and Week 1 suprise Travis Henry is out of the lineup with uncertain status in TEN...Luckily, Brian Westbrook has been hobbled in practice, which makes Corell Buckhalter a decent play at RB3...Darrell Jackson will have at least one more week as the Seahawk's #1 air target, then he has to share with Deion Branch...Amazingly good opponents for all 4 WR in the lineup; Hou, Hou, Ari, Cle...Key Injuries: Travis Henry (questionable), Carnell Willams (probable), TJ Houshmandzadeh (probable)

On Deck

ChamPeons vs. The Slumpbusters (-14.5)

With the two trigger-happiest teams playing here, it worth noting that at 12:47am on Tuesday, the league set a (still continuing) record for "latest first trade of the season," and we're still waiting...2nd matchup of undefeateds this week..14 of the matchup's 26 starters (54%) come from 3 different NFL games (STL-SF, DAL-WAS, MIA-BUF)...Scintillating potential on Sunday Night, as Dallas' top RB/WR (J. Jones/Owens- CHM) go against Washington's top RB/WR (Portis, S. Moss- SLM)...Gieryna leads Champ 2-1 alltime, winning their only meeting last season.

News and Notes, CHM (1-0)

We'll find out what to expect from Daunte Culpepper this season based on his performance at home against Buffalo this week. In a small way, we'll know how much of a threat Champ is going to be all season based on the Captain's game...Got good numbers from both Patriot backs last week, and should see a repeat performance against the Jets...Despite Drew Bledsoe's struggles, Terrell Owens found the end zone and everything is calm in Dallas so far- good news for CHM...The best running back in 2006 should have another solid game against the Rams this week, Frank Gore is for real...If Champ loses by one point, it will no doubt because Clutch and Steady Eddie Kennison is on the bench...Key Injuries: Vernon Davis (probable)

News and Notes, SLM (1-0)

When you own Marc Bulger, Steven Jackson and Torry Holt, you have 4 games on the schedule you're guaranteed giddy about, and this is one of them...Roy Williams shot his mouth off about the Bears defense this week, so he'll probably be dead by Monday Morning...Roy's impending death is a really tough break for Eli...Willis McGahee isn't out of the SLM doghouse yet, but he's getting good touches in Dick Jauron's gameplan; Miami is another tough test...Tatum Bell is shaping up to be the draft's best steal, as the 4th rounder is playing and gets KC with a banged up Mike Bell...Key Injuries: Clinton Portis (questionable), Jeremy Shockey (probable)

The 3 Spot

Tice's Partyboat vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (-13)

The teams that tied for 4th in our preseason poll both suffered setbacks in Week 1, and one of them is staring down the barrel at 0-2, reminiscent of last year when Eli and Drew went head-to-head with a lot on an early season game...The league's first true blockbuster trade was the Corey Dillon-Terrell Owens swap of 2004, between these two franchises. I found it interesting that both of those players are both on Champ's team now. I don't know why that's interesting, but I do know that I probably need help...Viano has won 3 of the 5 meetings between the two, including both games last season.

News and Notes, TPB (0-1)

I think Randy Moss is in for a long season. I emailed Eli and mentioned that If Dusty Baker coached a football team, his name would be Art Shell. He responded that if Neifi Perez played quarterback, his name would be Aaron Brooks. Not good for Moss, and thus not good for Drew's WR1...Assuming that Ruben Droughns puts a meager 2 point performance behind him and starts throwing up 9-13 pts/wk again, the RBs here look good...1st rounder Chris Brown is back in a good situation with Travis Henry hurting...Adam Vinateri is going to break double digits again against Houston, and if the Wolfman has some great luck, they will be the Colts' only points...Donald Driver was good in week 1 against the Bears, so he should have no problems against the Saints...Slick pickup signing Koren Robinson...Key Injuries: None

News and Notes, NDP (0-1)

Todd Heap being 80% aside, things set up well for the Poop Master and his mates...Ronnie Brown gets a ton more breathing room, moving from the Steeler defense to the Bills, though Willie Parker does draw a tough Jacksonville line...Mike Bell will play, and as long as he's the goal line guy, he'll be worthy of at a starting spot all year...Jerious Norwood is a poor man's Brandon Jacobs. Jacobs however, is a poor man...If you want to know why Viano is a considerable favorite in this game, here's why: Peyton Manning vs. Houston (career): 8 games- 263 ypg, 19 TDS, 116.0 QB rating...Key Injuries: Todd Heap (questionable), Mike Bell (probable)

Batting Cleanup

Father Abraham vs. Cellar Dwellers (pk)

The first pickit game of the season because we have no idea what to make of either team right now...I don't think Week 1 was representative of what either team will do each week, but we really can't know for sure...CD can't be that bad all the time, but is he going to be dominant and live up to the #3 preaseason ranking, or fall to average...Is FA going to fall down, or maintain their competitive pace all year...Stem is 3-1 lifetime against Souzek.

News and Notes, FA (1-0)

A big red "Q" by the name of Jamal Lewis is daunting, but the flaming paper suggests he'll be ok. That's good news for this week, but concerning for the long run as Lewis needs 16 100% healthy games for FA to make the playoffs...Troy Williamson got some good looks from Brad Johnson on Monday, and will be a stronger and stronger play as the season goes on...Drew Bennett and Kerry Collins hooked up well and that's a strong flex play there...Fred Taylor does have a pretty good history with the Steelers, but this week he's a real tough matchup on Monday Night...Donovan McNabb, while a stud again, will not have the same success as he did against Houston- which would be troubling...Key Injuries: Jamal Lewis (questionable)

News and Notes, CD (0-1)

Let down in supreme fashion by all of his running backs, and while this week gets better for Shaun Alexander (100 ypg and 14 td in 8 games against ARI), it's a tough road for Kevin Jones against the Bears and LaMont Jordan with his offensive line (now sans Robert Gallery) against anyone, let alone Baltimore...This is where Alexander has to defend his VUFSA MVP trophy and carry CD...Nothing wrong with the WR crew, which may actually have become #1 on the league's depth chart after a very impressive week 1...Tom Brady is a mystery to me this season- and it only gets murkier without Deion Branch. What kind of run/pass ratio we see from the Patriots this week will give some insight...Key Injuries: WHY IS TOM BRADY ALWAYS (Probable)

The 5 Hole

Who is Ron Mexico vs. Fresh Legs (-18)

I wonder when we'll stop referring to these two as 'the expansion teams'...Baron is well on his way to shedding the handicapped label, as the tough luck loser last week...Dave went the other direction...All eyes in this matchup on the Saints backfield...Baron and Dave have split the two meetings in this storied rivalry.

News and Notes, WIRM (0-1)

Reggie Bush is about to become a prime-time player, and going against Green Bay is a great time to cement that...Chester Taylor and DeShaun Foster go head to head in real life, and though Foster struggled, Taylor was awesome in week 1...Marques Colston is a nice player, and having a WR with TE eligiblity is cool- is he really good enough to relegate Chris Cooley to the bench...Cooley is too good a TE to sit every week...Key Injuries: None

News and Notes, FL (0-1)

Carson Palmer better get his ass in gear against the Browns this week, a team he averages 2 TDs/game against...Brian Westbrook's health is not such a major problem this week as it is long term- can he stay healthy for 16 games?...Deuce McAllister's potentially lessened role is also troubling...On the other side, Ahman Green looked great, and it's a wonder he's not starting against a shitty Saints team over Dominic Rhodes who looked lost on Sunday. Houston matchup or not...Key Injuries: 2 questionable defenders

===========================

Completely edited- I made a major mathematical mistake. (9/15- 8p)

A follow up to the recap's query about lower scoring weeks. I went through and figured out league-wide weekly averages, and this was actually a below average week that just lacked both high (and low) end scores. At 95.00 across 10 teams last week, we outscored just 2 of our 14 weeks last season (high of 117.07 and low of 93.90) and only 1 of our weeks from 2004. However, with the NFL having the lowest scoring weekend since 1991, my concern may have been an overreaction.

Midweek Special

One of the cooler features now available to yahoo sports is the fantasy “profile” which allows you to look back at thumbnails of previous leagues. A quick glance back at the 2004 inaugural VUFSA draft will show you that damn, there were some legitimate steals and misfires that went on. Sure, I could save the content for later, but I’ll be in Pennsylvania next week and won’t have time to do a top ten, most likely, so here’s a midweek fix. The Top Five Things That Could Have Been Different Back in the Day.

5. What if JR Radcliffe had taken a running back before the seventh round? I swear this was an auto-draft, as I don’t think I would have gone about it this way, but I was the only owner to not take a running back in the first round (they were a hot commodity then, too.) and didn’t get a back until the SEVENTH, when Tiki Barber stepped into my life and my bedroom. But the rest of my running back corps – William Green, Julius Jones (of two years ago) and Chris Perry were spew-worthy. If you're gonna spew, spew on this: Jerome Bettis and Nick Goings carried my runner-up team for most of the season.

4. What if Peyton Manning had gone earlier than pick 12? I know running backs are more highly prioritized than quarterbacks these days, but Andy Viano still got the original STEAL OF THE DRAFT when 11 players – including Priest Holmes (1), Deuce McAllister (5), Ahman Green (7), Jamal Lewis (10) and Marshall Faulk (11) went ahead of him. Oh yes, and Deuce went to Viano.

3. What if someone had jumped on these other steals early? Steven Jackson was a 15th round draft choice by Eli Gieryna. Willis McGahee was Gieryna’s 17th round selection and Champ took Antonio Gates in the 18th. Of course, my own choice of Drew Bennett in the 16th round proved to ultimately have playoff consequences, smiting all of Eli's good selections.

2. What if Eli hadn’t taken Priest Holmes first overall? If I recall correctly, it was a contest between LDT and Priest for the top overall pick, with most experts pointing to Priest. Gieryna later traded that commodity to Lincoln Souzek, a keeper consideration that never developed, but if Gieryna had taken LDT instead of Priest, Ed Schillinger (with the second pick) may not be the powerhouse he is now. Yes, I know I just jinxed you. I will cut off your Johnson. Andrew Stem followed with Shaun Alexander.

1. How the fuck does Kevan Barlow keep getting drafted prominently? He was a first round choice this year, strangely, by Ed Schillinger, but he was a FOURTH round choice in the original draft by Champ, and a third round choice by me one year later. We are smart people. Someone needs to put a stop to this.