ChamPeons: 6-8

ChamPeons: 6-8

The up and down and all around season for Brent Whitlock’s ChamPeons landed them in the lower half of the division but with a solid start to 2006. The team would finish their 2005 campaign with only one of their five original keepers. Yet, despite the outflux of players, the team managed to stay competitive at the expense of consistency. Let’s begin this edition of This Is Your Year with the keepers.

Keepers:
Randy Moss
Clinton Portis
Julius Jones
Mike Vick
*Antonio Gates

Of note, Antonio Gates wouldn’t even make it out of the expansion draft in a non-existent ChamPeons uniform. Snatched up by Ken’s Anal Adventure, Gates was gone, and Champ was without the best tight end in the league.

“I got dicked on the Antonio Gates situation. He was a holdout and that was the only reason I exposed him to the expansion draft, and he ended up being pretty good."

Not to worry, a supplementary pick fell to Champ who would turn around and use it on a guy on Norv Turner’s team. And speaking of other players in an offense Drew holds a grudge against, Randy Moss began the year with high expectations in a new supposedly pass happy Oakland offense. Several well respected publications, and The Torch too, devoted space to the “who is better” fantasy debate between Moss and Terrell Owens. Clinton Portis, fresh off a downer year, and Julius Jones, fresh off an up year, were to solidify the ground attack. Ron, er, Michael Vick was the dynamo behind center who was going to pile up the yards both through the air and on foot for Champ. Off all these mentioned, only Julius Jones would be around to celebrate Thanksgiving with the team.

“Julius Jones was a bust this season with injuries and the excellence of Marian Barber, but at the time he was a gem and perhaps the most sought after running back. I'd get an offer a week for him. He might not be the starter next year, but he'll always be a ChamPeon at heart just like Eddie Kennison” (More on Mr. Kennison later.)

Round 1: Chris Brown
Round 1a: Kerry Collins
Round 2: Derrick Mason
Round 3: Jeremy Shockey
Round 4: Duce Staley
Round 5: Rod Smith
Round 6: David Akers
Round 7: Keyshawn Johnson
Round 8: Braylon Edwards
Round 9: Derrick Brooks
Round 10: Drew Bledsoe
Round 11: Mike Peterson
Round 12: Champ Bailey
Round 13: Takeo Spikes
Round 14: Johnathan Wells
Round 15: Tank Johnson

ChamPeons’ draft fielded them several solid players but no overwhelming superstars. Whitlock took a chance in drafting Chris Brown ahead of other running backs such as Carnell Williams, Ronnie Brown, and Warrick Dunn who were the immediate picks following Brown. It’s not to say that Chris Brown wouldn’t have a solid year, but looking at Cadillac’s keeper value, Ronnie Brown’s youth, and Warrick Dunn’s consistency, it’s debatable whether a different back should have been taken with the 5th overall selection.

Interestingly, Champ opted for a backup quarterback with their supplementary pick following the Antonio Gates departure. Kerry Collins would quickly supplant Vick as starting QB, but one has to wonder if Champ had so little confidence in Vick, why not leave him unprotected in the expansion draft instead of Antonio Gates (yes, that whole holdout thing…got dicked on…etc)? The void at tight end would be filled with Champ’s third round selection of Jeremy Shockey who would last until mid-September with the club.

Second round pick Derrick Mason caught a lot of passes but not for TDs. Duce Staley never achieved what he could have if he had stayed healthy and “Waiver Wire” Willie Parker hadn’t emerged. Rod Smith played well before turning into Andre Johnson. David Akers made a kick without use of either of his legs (well that’s what Chris Berman told me). Braylon Edwards played for the Browns and that’s all you really need to know about him.

But it was a couple of late Dallas Cowboys that would make this a respectable 2005 draft. In the seventh round, Champ went with Keyshawn Johnson and in the tenth, ChamPeons welcomed their third quarterback to camp in the form of Drew Bledsoe. Their numbers on the season would speak for themselves. 71 receptions, 789 yards, and 6 TDs for Keyshawn who would fizzle as the season wore on and 3,639 yards and 23 TDs for the “other” Drew.

“Drew Bledsoe was by far my best pick. Kerry Collins was supposed to be my best pick because of the Moss connection, but he laid an egg. Chris Brown was a panic pick because I ran out of time. I don't really remember the rest too well.”

Johnson would be traded to Madd Skillz for Duce Staley (who left Champ only to return home) on November 15th, but Bledsoe actually managed to survive an entire season on ChamPeon’s roster. Other big trades Champ pulled the trigger on…

Trades:
9/11 Acquired:
WIRM’s 2nd round 2006 pick
Lost:
Mike Vick

9/19 Acquired:
Keary Colbert
Mike Williams
Frank Gore
Lance Briggs
Lost:
Jeremy Shockey
Duce Staley
DeAngelo Hall

10/4 Acquired:
Daunte Culpepper
Mewelde Moore
Lost:
Clinton Portis
Frank Gore

11/16 Acquired:
Andre Johnson
Lost:
Rod Smith

11/16 Acquired:
Eddie Kennison
Terrell Owens
Michael Bennett
Lost:
Randy Moss
Chris Brown
Derrick Mason
Mike Peterson

11/25 Acquired:
Steve McNair
Cedric Benson
Lost:
Kerry Collins

I could probably write a whole column on each of these deals due to the names involved, but I won’t largely because I’m lazy. Your thoughts, Champ?

“I made a few...some of them controversial.”

Seriously, that’s all he wrote and it’s supposed to be my big storyline for him. Sheesh. Of note, Champ wisely turned his quantity at quarterback into a 2nd round 2006 pick when LaTomke came knocking for a QB.

Jeremy Shockey left in a tough deal that saw top tight end talent depart for the second time in two months from Champ’s team.

“Disappointment?” Daunte Culpepper came aboard for Clinton Portis. This move drew criticism from VUFSA writers who wanted to know why Champ would depart with a top running back for a quarterback that would not surpass Kerry Collins or Drew Bledsoe on the depth chart.

“Clinton Portis was my biggest curse and absolutely had to be moved because he just couldn't perform under the ChamPeons banner. I'm glad he's achieving his full potential elsewhere because he sucked on my team.”

The old Rod Smith was traded away for the young Andre Johnson.

One keeper and two of Champ’s top three draft picks became a Minnesota running back, a Trent Green target, and Terrell Owens in a hotly discussed trade.

“Randy Moss had the hype, but he also had a crappy year, and I began to question whether or not he will be the receiver that he was in Minnesota in what proved to be an anemic Oakland offense.”

(Me too, Champ. Me too).

“-Anything else that you felt was important to your season:
The acquisition of Eddie Kennison. One of the greatest ChamPeons of all time.”

And finally, Kerry Collins (the other of Champ’s top three picks) packed up, took off, and high-fived Cedric Benson on his way in. Steve McNair would be rolled in later.

Needless to say (though I am anyway), the year was packed full of blockbuster deals for ChamPeons. Its impact on the year?

It began well with ChamPeons averaging 109.4 points per week on their way to a respectable 2-1 start with victories over Who Is Ron Mexico and Fred Lane’s Wife. The team that reached the four spot in the Power Rankings would then run into some stiff competition. Cellar Dwellers, Madd Skillz, and Sex Panther would combine to dump 405 points in three weeks on poor Champ dropping him to 2-4 and in danger of quickly becoming irrelevant in the league’s playoff push. Good news for Champ were that a couple of B’s were on his schedule next as Big Fat Guys and Blaine Browns fell at the hands of ChamPeons. Daunte Culpepper would lead the way with 26.75 points in week 7 and five players in double figures led by Chris Brown’s 16 would paint a win for Mr. Whitlock in week 8. At 4-4, Champ sat tied for a playoff spot with their recently defeated opponent Blaine Browns.

Unfortunately, week 8 would be as close at Champ would come to the promised land. A road trip with Todd “I don’t wear pants to bed” Ickow would put Champ a mere 4,329 miles away from Israel. The distance would be too much and his fantasy team would then begin to tumble. The Octagon would eek out a 2.75 point victory in week 9 crushing ChamPeons’ spirits and thereby leading to a week 10 disaster against Who Is Ron Mexico (91.5-75.25 L). A pair of victories against Father Abraham and Fred Lane’s Wife (one that would end FLW’s playoff prayers) would temporarily breathe some life into ChamPeons and give them some playoff potential. However, a reality check against the league’s two best squads with Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz crushing Champ on average 126.75-71.25. And so the up and down ChamPeons who alternated wins and losses the first three weeks, then went on to lose three in a row, to turn around and win two in a row, who gave those two back with two straight losses, to again win two in a row, to finally and mercifully for this sentence lose two in a row to end the season (WLWLLLWWLLWWLL).

With the merry-go-round of big names finally coming to a 2005 close, who is left for 2006? Daunte Culpepper is the biggest name on this list but comes with big question marks with a new owner, new coach, a new knee, and new sexboat in 2006. Cedric Benson, Julius Jones, and Frank Gore will compete for running time with their NFL teams next year and for keeper rights with ChamPeons. Eric Moulds, Andre Johnson, and Terrell Owens are the best of the wide receivers with two likely being held onto by Mr. Whitlock. Additionally, Champ will have the 4th overall pick in 2006 as well as two second rounders to help rebuild for next season. But don’t look for a more steady ’06 or the use of first person.

“I'm pretty much going to start from scratch. New team. New attitude. High probability of trading and working the wire…Oh, and Champ loves the Bears.”

(Side note and great Champ story that's on my mind...great excerpt from the Oakland broadcast last night that had me laughing for the first time since I heard the grave news about Mindfreak Mike Tice...

With the score 84-59 late in the second half:

Champ: With their 84 points tonight, Valpo has put up their second highest total on the season.
Ickow: What did we score at Centenary?
Pause
Ickow: Wasn't it 89?
Champ: I believe it was.
Ickow: I thought so, I may be going old and senile, but I thought it was 89. (Trying to bail Champ out...) But they will surpass 89 and it will eventually be the second highest point output of the year."
Champ: Well then the 84 is the second highest output at home.
Ickow: Yes, yes that's true.)