Cellar Dwellers: 11-3

Cellar Dwellers: 11-3

The greatest single season turnaround EVER. And that spans two seasons. Stem’s squad in all three VUFSA sports had been notoriously bad, and Stem seemed to embrace this failure with a name change poking fun at his plight. Well, he poked his keepers who propelled him to a second place finish in the league and the “model” that other losers can only hope to emulate.

Keepers:
Shaun Alexander
Kevin Jones
Roy Williams
Eric Moulds
Jake Delhomme

Eh. Not too much here. I wasn’t overwhelmed when I saw it on paper the first time or even now, which makes Cellar Dwellers’ success all the more remarkable. Obviously Shaun Alexander is the name that jumps out. Scoring a single season record of touchdowns will single handedly lead a team to a slew of wins. Kevin Jones came on strong in 2004, but petered out in 2005. Roy Williams? 8TDs but missed a lot of games. Eric Moulds? Just 4 TDs. Jake Delhomme? He would be one of three quarterbacks on the roster during the key stretch of the season and hardly the superstar at QB with so many different players being ushered in and out of the top spot. In all, not a tremendous amount of talent here, though Alexander probably makes up for about two of them.

Round 1: LaMont Jordan
Round 2: Larry Fitzgerald
Round 3: Jerry Porter
Round 4: Randy McMichael
Round 5: Michael Bennett
Round 6: Matt Stover
Round 7: Plaxico Burress
Round 8: Byron Leftwich
Round 9: Marshall Faulk
Round 10: Roy Williams (DB)
Round 11: Johnathan Vilma
Round 12: Dunta Robinson
Round 13: Derrick Johnson
Round 14: David Terrell
Round 15: Eric Johnson

Here’s where the final pieces of the puzzle came together. LaMont Jordan had a strong season in his first year as a starter. He would finish with 1,000 yards and 11 touchdowns, providing a solid #2 at RB. Larry Fitzgerald benefited from a pathetic Arizona rushing attack and Anquan Boldin’s midseason injury to become the number one option on pretty much every play for the Cardinals. Double digit TDs (10), triple digit receptions (104), and quadruple digit yards (1,409) made him Yahoo’s second highest rated receiver on the year. Randy McMichael was a modest selection at tight end contributing 500 yards and 5 TDs. Plaxico Burress was a breakout player with 1,200 yards and 7 TDs becoming a strong WR 2. The rest of the list was so so with a few players contributing here and there, but the key elements were in place.

The starting lineup from which Stem would rarely vary:

RB – Alexander
RB – Jordan
RB – Jones
WR – Fitzgerald
WR – Burress
WR – Williams/Moulds
TE – McMichael

This was the crew that would carry the team all season. There were no major waiver wire pick ups. There were no huge blockbuster trades. There was no tinkering. There were no major injuries. But there was tremendous consistency and many wins to be had.

A seemingly minor waver wire pick up came, though, in week 3 when Matt Stover made way for “Superstar” Neil Rackers. Neil’s numbers?

Week 3: 14.00
Week 4: 19.00
Week 5: 8.00
Week 6: Bye
Week 7: 8.00
Week 8: 8.00
Week 9: 14.00
Week 10: 9.00 (A “tackle solo” even!)
Week 11: 13.00
Week 12: 5.00
Week 13: Injured
Week 14: 7.00
Week 15: 7.00
Week 16: 9.00

And may I remind you he’s a kicker.

In week 1, Stem faced off against Big Fat Guys in a game that he was favored in by virtue of having some keepers, but was a game that was not expected to be a huge blowout. It was a game decided by less than six points, but in the end, it was Fitzgerald, Burress, Jordan, and McMichael carried the team to victory.

Week 2 revealed the first glimpse of just how good this team could be when they defeated a 100+ point scoring Blaine Browns squad. This victory put Stem at 2-0, light years ahead of where they were the season before. Alexander, Jordan, and McMichael brought Cellar Dwellers another win and their best start in any of the Stem’s three seasons.

The wins didn’t stop there. The Octagon fell next. Then it was ChamPeons. Next up was Father Abraham. Fred Lane’s Wife and Who Is Ron Mexico were no match either. Cellar Dwellers racked up seven straight victories to start the year.

The much anticipated battle of the heavyweights came in week 8 when Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz battled for first place. Shaun Alexander's bye coupled with a Mark Brunell turd dampened the competition with Skillz winning 96.75-66.75.

Cellar Dwellers responded the next two weeks with strong wins over Sex Panther and Big Fat Guys, averaging 127.125 in that time.

A late season slump saw Stem’s team drop two in a row. The two games were against two teams fighting desperately for their playoff lives while Cellar Dwellers sat comfortably locked into a top two seed. In both games, though, CD put up 100+ showing that they were not withering down the stretch. Regardless, Blaine Browns and The Octagon tacked two additional losses onto Cellar Dwellers record.

Stem would bounce back, ending the season on a two game winning streak against ChamPeons and Father Abraham to assure himself the second spot heading into the postseason.

The number two seeded Cellar Dwellers found themselves up against the three seed The Octagon. Kevin Jones was out of the lineup with injury and the thin CD team found themselves having to start Michael Pittman at RB-3. Pittman managed just 0.50 points, but the core of Stem’s squad overcame the injury. Fitzgerald (13), Alexander (23), and Jordan (18) paved the way for Stem’s first playoff victory of any sort 99.25-85.75.

The victory put CD into the championship game where they would face off against Madd Skillz. The game was a fitting rematch against the two teams that had dominated the regular season against the rest of the VUFSA. This time, no byes were in the way and Mark Brunell was no longer thought of as a starting quarterback.

Unfortunately for Cellar Dwellers, some byes against Madd Skillz probably would have helped. Kevin Jones offered no help, still being out with injury, and Lamont Jordan would play either. The not-so-deep CD managed just 3.50 points from running backs not named Shaun Alexander and the result was that the juggernaut, Madd Skillz, won 149.0-100.5 in a convincing victory.

After a remarkably successful 2005 campaign, how does 2006 shape up? Fitzgerald and Burress look to solidify the wide receiver position. Alexander has half a chance of being kept, playing pretty decently in ’05. Lamont Jordan will be back too. But what of the fifth spot? Kevin Jones? Randy McMichael? Jake Delhomme? Hell, Neil Rackers?