Week 13 in Review

The next-to-last week of the regular season is over, and now the playoff scenarios are much clearer. Two playoff spots have been clinched (Champ and myself), while four others (Drew, Eli, Baron and JR) have a chance to claim the final two spots (although given that the first tiebreaker is total points scored, it looks like it will be awfully tough for Baron or JR to jump up even with a win--they both need wins, and they both need to score many, many points). Week 13 saw Philip Rivers have his best game of the year (and finish one or two completions short of giving Ed his second win of the season). Baron's team exploded for 152.00 (as previously mentioned, he could use another week like that in Week 14), and Eli tallied 141.75. Champ won by 1.5, while Baron won by 52. Drew won his third-straight to seemingly clinch a playoff berth. Welty remained winless since he changed his team's name. On with the show.
ChamPeons 105.75-Bobby Engram 104.25
If Rivers and Chris Johnson had faced Drew Brees and LeSean McCoy in some sort of hybrid two-on-two fantasy game, it would have been Edwin who won by 1.5 (56.00-54.50). Ed almost brought the Thunder, but Norv Turner decided to take pity on the Jaguars and sat Rivers for most of the fourth quarter. Chris Johnson's resurgence continued as he outscored McCoy 27.50-24.00. David Akers made four field goals and outscored Beanie Wells 14.00-12.50. Beyond that, there were not many noteworthy performances on either side. Champ won in spite of having four players score 1.00 or fewer. Ed had a chance to spring what would probably have been the upset of the year, and his team just couldn't quite do it. Playoff Implications: With the win, Champ clinched a playoff spot and due to a 34.00-point lead in total points scored, has the inside track to the top-seed in the playoffs.
C (9-4): Brees (30.50) tossed three touchdowns and had 342 yards passing against the Lions. McCoy (24.00) had 133 total yards of offense and scored both of Philadelphia's touchdowns. To be honest, he was the only guy on the Eagles who look like he cared at all about winning. Akers made four field goals, and Victor Cruz caught seven passes for 119 yards (8.50). It was not all good news for Champ though. Matt Forte was lost to a sprained MCL after scoring 1.00 (and will miss at least the first week of the VUFSA playoffs if not the rest of the year). Fred Davis has been suspended for the rest of the season due to a violation of some sort (it escapes me which kind an I'm too lazy to look it up). LeGarrette Blount only had 19 yards rushing (1.00), Patrick Willis hurt himself and did not score, and Brian Urlacher only managed two tackles for 1.00 (although that number is sure to be much higher against Tim Tebow this week). MVP: Brees. It could be McCoy for actually still caring, but Brees torched the Lions and just slightly edges out McCoy. LVP: Blount. Forte gets a pass for the injury, but this was probably Blount's most disappointing performance of the season. He has been a solid fantasy option all year, but it has to be a little concerning that he could only manage 1.00 against Carolina.
BE (1-12): Since I go out of my way to rip on Rivers when he's bad, I should give him his due this week. He was outstanding (294 yards passing, three touchdowns and zero turnovers) against the Jaguars. Again, Norv Turner probably cost Ed his second win of the year. I'm not completely sure on the numbers, but he might have gotten enough if he completed one more pass for six yards. If I'm wrong, correct me in the comments. Chris Johnson had 153 yards rushing and two scores (27.50), reminding everyone why he was slated to be one of the top fantasy backs this season. Wells (12.50) finished with 73 total yards and a score. Daniel Thomas rushed for 73 yards (7.00). Much like Champ, this was basically the extend of Ed's offense. MVP: Johnson. I know Rivers was awesome (and I should be nice to him for at least one week), but not only did CJ2K put together back-to-back solid weeks, but he also gives Ed some optimism headed into the 2012 campaign. LVP: Early Doucet. Doucet caught two passes for zero yards. It's a credit to him that he still managed to score 1.50, but that's just sad.
Pantry Cereals 110.50-Phil Powell Rules 91.00
For the second time this season, Aaron Rodgers out-Bradied Tom Brady in a match-up between the two quarterbacks, but this time, the rest of Drew's roster did enough get the victory and move Drew's winning streak to three in a row. Ray Rice > Roy Helu by a matter of 10.00 (27.00-17.00). Drew had four players score at least 10.50, while the Fightin' Phil Powells got a combined 55.00 from Rodgers and Helu with the next best total being 6.00 from Calvin Johnson. It was both feast and famine for PPR. Toby Gerhart put up 15.00 for Drew while Adrian Peterson missed his second-straight game. Playoff Implications: The win all but clinched a playoff spot for Drew. It would take a loss in which he only scored about 30 points (or a 200-point effort from either Baron or JR) to keep Drew out of the playoffs. In spite of the loss, PPR clinched a playoff spot. A first round win wouldn't asking for too much, would it?
PC (8-5): If you had told me before the week started that Brady and Wes Welker could combine for fewer points that Rodgers scored by himself, I would have felt very good about things. This is exactly what happened, but my optimism would have been unfounded. Mostly because of Ray Rice. Brady threw for 289 yards and two scores (24.25) and Welker caught 10 passes for 110 yards but stayed out of the end zone (10.50). John Harbaugh realized the error of his ways from earlier in the season (and caused Terrell Suggs to rejoice I'm sure) and just kept giving the ball to Rice. The former Rutgers star carried a career-high 29 times for 204 yards and a touchdown (27.00). Gerhart didn't score a touchdown, but he did finish with 133 total yards of offense (15.00). Lance Moore (8.00) only caught two passes, but one of them went for a touchdown. MVP: Rice. Over the last few years, it is a rare occurrence when Brady is outscored by someone on his own team. Rice did that this week, and receives this honor because of it. LVP: Torrey Smith. Baltimore's focus on running the ball was great for Rice, but it did mess up the Ravens' passing game. Smith managed just one catch for 32 yards (1.50).
PPR (9-4): Rodgers and Helu were awesome. Everyone else....not so much. Rodgers (38.00) finished with 401 total yards and four touchdowns. He would have passed the 40-point mark if he had not thrown an interception. In his second start of the season, Helu made Mike Shanahan look like a genius (or perhaps an idiot for not starting him all year) by putting up 142 total yards and a score (17.00). It was a bunch of dreck other than that. No other player in the lineup found the end zone, and Megatron's 6.00 was the next highest point total. I suppose there's something to be said for everyone else being awful at the same time. MVP: Rodgers. This does not require any additional explanation. Just give him the MVP now. LVP: Brandon Lloyd. James Starks and his 0.00 get a pass because of injury, but Lloyd only managed one catch for 32 yards (1.50). I know Sam Bradford didn't play, but that's still not good enough from a top-flight receiver.
Let My Monkeys Go 120.75-Who is Ron Mexico 96.00
Viano gets back to within one game of .500 by having six players score at least 11.00. Tomke could only manage three above 10.50. Dave also had three guys put up 0.00, which generally doesn't bode well. Pierre Garcon awoke from his season-long slumber to catch a couple of touchdown passes (he must like Dan Orlovsky--Dr. Lovsky!!!--a whole lot more than he likes Curtis Painter). Willis McGahee and Ryan Mathews combined for 33.00, while Carson Palmer had a decent showing (19.00) in what was otherwise a dreadful day for the Raiders. MJD had a big day on Monday night (he leads the AFC in rushing you know) to make this respectable. Matthew Stafford was okay and Roddy White found the end zone again. Not much for Dave other than that in what has been a very frustrating year for him, I'm sure. Playoff Implications: In spite of Viano's chance to get to 7-7 this week, both players were eliminated from playoff contention.
LMMG (6-7): We finally had a Pierre Garcon sighting. He caught nine passes for 150 yards and two touchdowns (23.50). Garcon has scored 97.00 through 12 games, so nearly 1/4 of his point total came in Week 13. Sadly, this is a little too late for Viano. Vincent Jackson and A.J. Green each had touchdown catches (25.50). Mathews had 112 yards rushing and a score (18.50), and McGahee added 111 rushing yards and a score (14.00). MVP: Garcon. This was an absolutely stud-like effort, undoubtedly causing Viano to wonder where this type of production has been all year. LVP: Anquan Boldin. Just like Torrey Smith earlier, this is another instance of a Baltimore receiver suffering from Ray Rice getting so many carries. Boldin managed just two catches for 32 yards (2.00).
WIRM (6-7): Not that it matters, but Tomke would have scored three more points if Jason Garrett weren't an idiot. Dan Bailey (8.00) would have made another field goal if Garrett hadn't called a time out right as he was kicking it. MJD (22.00) had 188 total yards and a touchdown. At least someone cared about looking good on Monday night. Stafford threw for 408 yards but only managed one touchdown (18.75). White caught four passes for 51 yards and a touchdown (10.50). Miles Austin did not play, and Andre Johnson (6.00) got hurt during the game. Jimmy Graham continued to be awesome with eight catches for 89 yards (8.00), but he was seemingly the only New Orleans wide out who didn't find the end zone against the Lions. MVP: MJD. He has been a shining beacon in what has otherwise been a disastrous season in Jacksonville. LVP: Plaxico Burress. A week after being mocked by Stevie Johnson, Burress had only three catches for 33 yards (2.50).
Dexter McClusterfunk 141.75-Shellden Conch 94.50
Eli also moved within striking distance of clinching a playoff spot. Much like Drew, it will take a really poor performance from him or a super-duper effort from Baron or JR to keep him out. Given the way Eli's squad performed in Week 13, this seems highly unlikely. Eli had five guys score at least 14.00, including Cam Newton's 37.50. I am officially ready to give Newton Waiver Wire Pick-up of the Year. (I reserve the right to reconsider that if DeMarco Murray absolutely owns people in the playoffs. Just saying). No one has been happier that Kim Kardashian is back on the market than Reggie Bush. He had another solid game. Three guys scored at least twice as much as what Yahoo! predicted they would. Welty got solid days from his Steelers, as Antonio Brown and Rashard Mendenhall combined for 28.00. The Laurent Robinson Express came to a screeching halt, and Jermichael Finley spells funny letters after he scores touchdowns. Playoff Implications: As previously mentioned, Eli is as close to locking up a playoff spot as a person can be who has not yet actually clinched. If he chooses to celebrate this way, the Gun can have the champagne on ice. (Be sure to drink responsibly). Welty has lost three-straight and has guaranteed himself the #2 pick in the 2012 Draft (the anticipation is building already).
DMF (8-5): Newton finished with 285 total yards and four touchdowns. He threw a touchdown pass and ran in three scores (setting a record for touchdown runs by a quarterback). He also caught a pass, but sadly did not score on that play. Marshawn Lynch (26.00) rushed for 148 yards and two scores. He has scored a touchdown in eight straight weeks, which I believe is also a record (but I could be making that up). Hakeem Nicks caught two touchdowns (19.50), and Dez Bryant added another (14.00). The aforementioned Mr. Bush finished with 100 yards rushing and a score. What's even more frightening, is the fact that Eli's team scored almost 142 points and got a combined 9.00 from Steven Jackson, DeSean Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald. The possibilities of this team are absolutely frightening. This could possibly be the year he gets a championship. MVP: Newton. I don't know if he can be the Rookie of the Year on a team that only wins four games, but there's no question he has been the best rookie in fantasy football this year. LVP: S. Jackson. He finished with 30 total yards (1.50) which is understandable against San Francisco, but still disappointing.
SC (4-9): Three 0.00 from starters didn't help Welty's cause. Mendenhall rushed for 60 yards and two scores (18.00). Brown scored a return touchdown and caught two passes for 67 yards (10.00). Andy Dalton only threw for 135 yards and a touchdown (10.75). Finley caught six passes for 87 yards and a score (13.50) and then spelled YOTTO after his touchdown. I have no idea what this means, and I kind of hope I never do. MVP: Mendenhall. The rushing total wasn't very high, but it didn't need to be in a 35-7 win over Cincinnati. LVP: Ryan Torain and Jerome Simpson. Both players were active during Week 13, but neither did anything to register a fantasy point one way or the other.
Waiting for Goodell 152.00-Jamie Looks Hot 100.00
Sweet Jesus, Baron. Bobby Brendel put up the third-largest point total of the season, surpassed only by Tomke's 161.50 in Week 2 and Champ's 155.00 in Week 7. Seven of his nine offensive starters scored at least 10.50. Percy Harvin returned from injury and led the way with 24.00. Rob Gronkowski stole some of Cam Newton's glory, as he also set an NFL record for touchdowns (23.00). Arian Foster had 20.50 in another ho hum afternoon. Shonn Greene (IOWA!!!) had a huge day (28.50) against the Jets, but the rest of JR's offense was sparse. Matt Ryan, Greg Jennings and Santonio Holmes all went over 10.00, but the trio only combined for 34.50. Four players combined for 63 percent of JR's point total. (Don't be impressed with my quick math skills, JR made it easy by scoring 100 on the nose). Playoff Implications: Both teams are still alive to reach the postseason, but as mentioned at least twice before, it will take stellar efforts by both squads and some help as well for either to make the playoffs. Baron has a 25-point lead on JR in total points scored, so he would be first in line (assuming the difference remains the same between the two) for the final spot if Drew or Eli (or both) falter.
WFG (7-6): Baron's team got 10 non-quarterback touchdowns. That is tough to beat. Harvin had 175 total yards and two touchdowns. Gronkowski set a record for touchdowns scored in a season by a tight end. He had three against the Colts (including one rushing). Foster had 152 total yards and a score. Mike Wallace (14.50) caught two scoring passes. Stevie Johnson and Darren Sproles (23.00 combined) each caught touchdown passes. Notice I haven't mentioned his quarterback yet? Ben Roethlisberger threw for 176 yards and two scores (18.75). There's not a lot left to say about his team's effort in Week 13. MVP: Harvin. It usually doesn't mean good things when a wide receiver scores more points than the quarterback. In this case, it was a very, very good thing for Mr. Brendel. LVP: Julio Jones. Only 5.50, Julio? Are you kidding me? If I were Baron, I would cut him out of sheer principle.
JLH (7-6): Greene had 114 total yards and three touchdowns, and I'm sure Champ was very pleased. (He loves his Hawkeyes you know). Jennings and Holmes (23.50 combined) each caught a touchdown pass. Matt Ryan (11.00) was not particularly good (two interceptions) and had Rivers-esque numbers. There isn't much else (good) of note. On the bright side, though, I think that even if JR had used his optimal lineup, he still would have lost. Baron just had one of those days. MVP: Greene. Without extra points, he would have only lost to the Redskins 19-18 if he had been playing by himself. LVP: Brandon Pettigrew and Dustin Keller. JR's tight ends combined to catch five passes for 25 yards (2.50). That's not good enough to get it done in a game like this.
Next Week: The last week of the regular season features an incredibly odd scenario in which the Week 14 match-ups could end up being rematches in the first week of the playoffs. Drew will try to lock up a playoff spot against Champ, while Eli takes on the Fighting Phil Powells. In other action, Baron and JR try to keep their playoff hopes alive against Viano and Welty, respectively. Ed takes on Tomke in an effort to pick up his second win of the year and head into 2012 with some momentum.

Weeks 11 and 12 in Review

As you probably noticed, there was not a recap for Week 11. I was traveling with my family down to North Carolina to visit my sister for Thanksgiving, and I did not get a chance to see any of the games (except for the 10 minutes of Green Bay-Tampa Bay that was on in the Atlanta airport). I also was unsure of how I could justify to everyone my sitting on the computer for a couple of hours while we were on vacation. Speaking of that, I hope you (and your respective families) had an enjoyable Thanksgiving. Anyway, he's a very brief recap of what happened in Week 11:

• Tomke got back to his winning ways with a victory over Baron. Tony Romo put up 28.75 for Dave, while Baron got 19.00 from Josh Freeman while Ben Roethlisberger was on bye.
• JR defeated a Drew Brees-less Champ squad. Mark Sanchez only managed 8.00 for Champ. Mr. Radcliffe got a combined 54.00 from Matt Ryan, Jordy Nelson and Michael Bush.
• My team upended Viano (who was adjusting to life without Matt Schaub. Vincent Jackson put up 18.00 for Andy, but that was offset by -2.00 from Willis McGahee. Nate Washington scored 21.50 for me, but Adrian Peterson and James Starks were both injured. I cursed the Fantasy Sports Gods, who seem to have no consideration at all for my feelings.
• Eli beat Ed by 60.75, and sadly, this was not the biggest blowout of the week. Jay Cutler scored 25.50 for Ed, and the rest of his team combined for 28.00. Eli had six guys put up at least 10.00.
• Drew more than doubled-up Welty. Ray Rice scored a billion points (actually 26.50) for Drew, and four others put up at least 11.50. Jerome Simpson (yay Coastal Carolina) led Welty's effort with 14.00.

So that does it for Week 11. Now on to Week 12. With just two weeks left in the regular season, nothing has yet been settled except that Ed has guaranteed himself the number one pick in the 2012 Draft. There is a three-way tie for the final two playoff spots (Drew, Eli and JR--with JR on the outside looking in right now due to his team having scored the least amount of points thus far). Two other teams (Tomke and Baron) are just one game out of the last playoff spot. Things are a little more clear at the top, as Champ is a game clear of the three-way tie in second, and I have a game lead on him. After weeks of (mostly) blowouts, this week featured a couple of match-ups decided by fewer than six points (both on the strengths of Monday Night Thunder). There were also two games that had spreads of more than 48 points.
Who is Ron Mexico 127.00-Jamie Looks Hot 124.00
JR had a 15.50-point lead going into Monday night's tilt, but Jimmy Graham had a big night with five catches for 84 yards and two scores (18.50) to rally Dave for the win. These two guys reached their respective point totals in much the same way. Tomke had seven guys score at least 10 points, with Graham's 18.50 leading the way. JR has six guys score at least nine points, with Matt Ryan's 29.75 the highest for Radcliffe. The difference between these two: Tomke got double-digits from each of his offensive starters except for two. JR, on the other hand, had four of his offensive guys tally less than 10. JR is 1-2 in his last three contests, while Dave has won two in a row. Playoff Implications: Due to the first tiebreaker being total points scored, JR (who's scored the sixth-most points in the league so far) falls to outside the playoff picture with this loss. Radcliffe is still tied for 3rd, so a win in Week 13 puts him right back in the playoffs. Tomke is one game back of a playoff slot, and he finishes with Viano and Ed, so an 8-6 record is very possible.
WIRM (6-6): Tomke survived just one touchdown and three interceptions from Matthew Stafford (15.00). Kevin Smith and Andre Johnson (look who's back from injury) combined for 7.50. Dave got seven non-QB touchdowns, including two each from Graham and BenJarvus Green-Ellis (16.00). Maurice Jones Drew did not score, but did finish with 166 yards of total offense (14.00). Roddy White (17.00) caught 10 passes for 120 yards and a touchdown. Even Antonio Gates (11.00) and Plaxico Burress (10.00) caught touchdowns. MVP: Graham. It isn't often that a team's top point-getter is a tight end. It's even less often when that happens and the team wins. Graham has become probably the top tight end in the NFL at the current time. LVP: Andre Johnson. I know Matt Leinart and TJ Yates are not very good and that this was his first game back from injury, he needs to do more than two catches for 22 yards (2.00).
JLH (7-5): Matt Ryan threw for 263 yards and three scores and 0 turnovers (29.75). Reggie Wayne (14.50) caught five passes for 122 yards and a score. Greg Jennings and Santonio Holmes combined for 22.00 and two touchdowns. Michael Bush continued to be a wrecking machine with 93 total yards and a score (15.50). If JR had started either Dustin Keller (17.00) in place of Brandon Pettigrew (3.50) or DeAngelo Williams (18.00) in place Jonathan Stewart (9.00), he would have won. MVP: Ryan. One of his best (if not his best) games of the season, and he accounted for almost 1/4 of JR's points. LVP: Jordy Nelson. A week after catching two TD passes, Nelson was kept out of the end zone and only had four catches for 26 yards (3.00).
Waiting for Goodell 84.75-Shellden Conch 77.75
A seven-point night from Darren Sproles on Monday night was enough to push Baron to the .500 mark. It wasn't as big a "Thundering" as in Tomke's case, but it was still a "Thundering" nonetheless. Welty had two players score more than Baron's best player (the myth of Laurent Robinson continues), but Baron had five guys score at least 10.00, while Welty only had two. Each guy had one player put up 0.00 (Mario Manningham for Baron and Ryan Torain for Welty). Each had a disappointing effort from a star running back (Frank Gore's 3.50 for Baron and Rashard Mendenhall's 6.50 for Welty). Playoff Implications: Baron is only a game out of the playoffs, but thanks to his low point total for the season, he will need Dave, Eli and Drew (or a combination of them) to drop their last two games. Welty has been eliminated from playoff contention but can finish as high as sixth if things shake out his way.
WFG (6-6): Five guys basically led Baron to victory. Ben Roethlisberger, Percy Harvin, Arian Foster, Rob Gronkowski and Stevie Johnson combined for 62.75. Harvin (15.00) caught eight passes for 95 yards and a score. Foster had 89 total yards and a touchdown (13.50). Gronkowski (10.00) had 59 receiving yards and a score. He is rapidly becoming one of the best tight ends in the game. And he dates porn stars, so that's cool too I guess. Johnson caught eight passes for 75 yards and a score (13.00). If I worked at Yahoo, I would have given him an extra half-point for the super-cool touchdown celebration. I'm in favor of anyone who mocks Plaxico Burress. MVP: Harvin. One of his best games of the season could not have come at a better time. LVP: Baron. Manningham didn't end up playing, and because he's carrying two kickers, he didn't have a chance to pick up someone to replace Manningham. I put that on Baron.
SC (4-8): The Legend of Laurent Robinson continued as he caught seven passes for 79 yards and two touchdowns (19.00). Andy Dalton had 293 total yards and a touchdown (15.25). Welty swapped Jacksons with Eli, trading Steven for Fred. Ryan Torain (0.00) lost his starting job to Roy Helu. Robinson was the only non-QB to find the end zone. If he had replaced any of his receivers (except Robinson) with Johnny Knox (15.00), he would have won. MVP: Robinson. This probably sounds ridiculous, but there's a chance that he has worked his way into keeper status. LVP: Torain. What started out as a promising year has turned into a disappointing one as the rookie Helu got most of the carries and Torain wasn't even an afterthought.
Phil Powell Rules 119.50-Bobby Engram 96.00
The Fighting Phil Powells remained in sole possession of first place thanks mostly to the aforementioned Roy Helu. With Adrian Peterson, James Starks and Peyton Hillis all on the bench, Helu's big day (21.00) kept this team afloat. Aaron Rodgers was finally ordinary (in that he didn't surpass his projected point total) and Calvin Johnson caught a meaningless touchdown in the final seconds. Ed got a combined 42.00 from Beanie Wells and Chris Johnson (both of whom he offered to me in exchange for AP). Philip Rivers wasn't awful but continued to disappoint. Playoff Implications: PPR has not officially clinched a playoff spot but does remain in the top spot and can clinch a spot with a win this week (or losses by Eli and JR--I know Drew also fits in here, but since I'm playing him I get the win if he loses). Ed has won the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes, but his team has been much better the past few weeks.
PPR (9-3): You know you have been spoiled when you get 23.50 (307 yards passing and two scores) from Rodgers and consider it a disappointment. Helu showed why he should be the starting back in Washington with 162 total yards and a touchdown (21.50). Megatron and Brandon Lloyd (21.50 combined) each caught touchdown passes. Terrell Suggs (13.50) registered three sacks and forced a fumble. MVP: Helu. With AP, Hillis and Starks all benched, his performance was the difference in this match-up. LVP: Nate Washington. A week (or two I can't remember exactly) after catching two touchdowns, he was limited to one catch for 12 yards (1.00).
BE (1-11): No turnovers for Rivers (a first) but only 188 yards passing and one touchdown (13.75). Beanie Wells (f--- Ohio) had perhaps the best game of his career with 228 yards and a touchdown (25.50). Chris Johnson did not reach the end zone (16.50), but he did finish with 193 yards of total offense. Gresham had 68 receiving yards and a score (11.50). If Ed had gotten some more production from his receivers (Mike Thomas, Devin Hester and Nate Burleson combined for 5.50), he might have won. MVP: Wells. He would have put up even more if had not fumbled. That's about the only complaint with his performance. That, and the fact that he went to the most god-forsaken institution this side of ORU. LVP: Hester. This would have worked out if he had returned a kick for a score, but he didn't, and when he doesn't, he tends to be a liability on the roster (0.00).
Pantry Cereals 151.25-Dexter McClusterfunk 102.50
When Drew's team is bad, it's pretty bad (see Ed's only victory of the year), and when it's good, it's really, really good. Drew had four players score at least 19.00 and six score at least 11.00. After struggling the last few weeks, the Tom Brady-Wes Welker connection got going again (54.00 combined). To tell you what kind of day it was for Drew, Sebastian Janikowski (19.00) scored more points than all but one of Eli's players. For Eli, Cam Newton did what Cam Newton does (20.00), and Marshawn Lynch continued his reign of terror against the NFC West (18.50). Newly acquired Steven Jackson didn't do much (7.50). Playoff Implications: The win puts PC back in the playoffs, and with a 100-point advantage over Eli, he is slotted solidly into the third seed. If he holds on and makes the playoffs, he will have earned it, as his final two games have him facing the top two teams in the league. Eli is in as the fourth seed (due to a 40-point lead over JR), and his road is a little easier as he faces Welty before finishing with the Fighting Phil Powells.
PC (7-5): Brady even ran a little bit this week, finishing with 389 total yards and three scores (33.00). It certainly helps when two of those touchdown passes go to Wes Welker (21.00), who finished with eight catches for 115 yards. Cedric Benson had 130 total yards and a score (19.00). Janikowski went all Rob Bironas on the Bears and kicked six field goals. Lance Moore caught two touchdowns (16.00). Even Toby Gerhart got in on the act with 63 total yards and a score (11.00). MVP: Brady. I'm already cursing the Fates that I have to face Drew when Brady and Welker are going up against the hapless Colts. LVP: Torrey Smith. The rookie sensation only had two grabs for 23 yards (2.00), for Drew's worst offensive performance of Week 12.
DMC (7-5): Eli only had two guys put up double-figure totals. That does not bode well when your opponent has six such performances. Newton had 261 yards but only one touchdown. Lynch finished with 131 total yards and scored a touchdown for the seventh straight game. Reggie Bush had 96 total yards (8.50), and Hakeem Nicks caught seven passes for 87 yards (7.50). MVP: Lynch. Even after his highlight run against the Saints in the playoffs last year, he was an afterthought entering this year. He has been very, very solid. LVP: Dez Bryant. He managed just three catches for 35 yards (2.50) and took a back seat to the Laurent Robinson Experience.
ChamPeons 142.25-Let My Monkeys Go 81.00
This was the biggest "Thundering" of the week. Champ entered the final game trailing by 5.00. His three guys on Monday night (Drew Brees, Victor Cruz and Marques Colston) combined for 71.00. Drew Brees went off for another big night (43.00). Cruz scored 23.50, while Colston (4.50) was not much of a factor. Three other guys (DeMarco Murray, Brandon Marshall and LeSean McCoy) scored at least 12.00, but it begins and ends with Brees and Cruz. Viano had another Houston quarterback go down to injury (Matt Leinart this time). Ryan Mathews and Willis McGahee combined for 24.50. Sadly, except for 10.00 from Billy Cundiff (yay PFL), that was about it for Viano. Playoff Implications: The win keeps Mr. Whitlock in sole possession of second place. He's scored the most points in the league, so a win over Edwin this week won't officially clinch him a spot unless things break the exact right way, but he should unofficially clinch one with the victory. Viano has lost three in a row to fall to eighth. He's only two games back, but he needs to win his last two games and get a lot of help.
C (8-4): Brees finished with 371 total yards and five touchdowns. There's not much else you can say about that. What a performance. Cruz caught nine passes for 157 yards and two scores. Marshall had 103 receiving yards and a touchdown (13.50), while McCoy scored a touchdown and Murray 128 yards of total offense (12.00 apiece). MVP: Brees. This does not require any additional explanation. LVP: Owen Daniels. He turned in the lowest point total on Champ's offense, putting up 3.00.
LMMG (5-7): Leinart (9.50) left before the first half was over. Mathews paced LMMG with 142 total yards (13.50). McGahee had 117 rushing yards (11.00). Viano got one touchdown, and that was from Leinart before he was broken. A.J. Green (6.50) caught three passes for 110 yards. MVP: Mathews. He gets this spot by process of elimination. LVP: Vincent Jackson. His up-and-down season continues. This week was down, as he only managed two catches for 25 yards (2.00).
Next Week: At least one playoff spot can be clinched in Week 13. The top match-up is Pantry Cereals against Phil Powell Rules. Also, Baron faces JR. The winner will remain in the playoff hunt, while the loser will have work to do in Week 14. Tomke faces Viano in what is another de facto elimination game, while Champ takes on Edwin and Eli looks to bounce back against Welty (who is 0-2 since he changed his name, just saying).

VUFSA in Review Week 7

Kind of another disappointing week (in terms of the closeness of results) in the VUFSA. One contest was decided by 80.50 points, and only one closer than 10 (and even it was 9.50). Three long streaks continued (Champ and JR have each won four in a row, while Ed has lost seven straight). Welty got his first win of the season (congrats to him). At the halfway point, there is a four-way tie for first. Eight teams are within two games of first place (and also a playoff spot). There were a slew of injuries this past week (Stafford, Hightower, Moss, Mathews--his was minor I guess, Ryan, Graham, Jennings, McFadden), and they may very well decide who wins the championship.

Dexter McClusterfunk 102.50-Who is Ron Mexico 93.00
Cam Newton continues to prove the doubters wrong, while Stafford had problems with Atlanta's defense and then was injured to make things worse for Dave. Each team had RB problems, with Marshawn Lynch deciding before kickoff he was too hurt to play and McFadden leaving early with an injury. Tomke's tight ends combined for 27.50 points, and Plaxico Burress caught three touchdowns, while Eli got touchdowns from both Fred Davis and Dez Bryant. Did you know: Eli has three Heisman trophy winners on his team (Newton, Bradford, Ingram).
DMC (5-2): Newton had 315 total yards and two touchdowns. Only three non-QB touchdown from his team, but those who didn't find the end zone did put up a lot of yards. I'm sure this is the only week Eli ever wants to start both Reggie Bush and Lynch. MVP: Newton and his 26.50 points. He continues to be the lone bright spot for a very bad Carolina team, and his acquisition looks to be one of the better waiver wire moves this year. (Yes, I know I have said that already. I'll probably keep saying it). And Auburn was cleared in his who recruitment. So that's nice, if you're into that sort of thing. LVP: Lynch. If you're too injured to play it's one thing, but next time, man up and say so before the early games kick off so people can adjust their rosters accordingly.
WIRM (4-3): Stafford was only 15-33 for 183 yards and a touchdown (12.75). Tomke had seven non-QB touchdowns (including three from Burress and two from Jimmy Graham), but he only managed 6.50 from his two running backs. McFadden was injured very early in the game, and he contributed next to nothing. MVP: Burress. He only caught four passes for 25 yards, but three of those were touchdowns. LVP: Miles Austin. I hesitate to give this to anyone who gets injured during the game, so Austin's 1.00 total it is. Dez Bryant caught a bunch of passes, so why didn't Austin catch any?

Jamie Looks Hot 92.25-Bobby Engram 71.50
JR wins his fourth in a row, while Ed loses his seventh straight to start the season. Ed only had one guy put up double figures, and it was John Kasay. JR had five double-digit totals, with one of them coming from Neil Rackers. But the good news for Ed is that Kasay outscored Rackers 14.00-11.50, so at least he won the kicker battle. Matt Ryan had a solid game against the Lions, and the same could not be said for Philip Rivers against the Jets. In other news, Greg Jennings continued to be awesome (how did he get so wide open, Asher Allen?), while Chris Johnson continues to not be awesome. Did you know: Speaking of Johnson, he has had three games this season where he has rushed for fewer than 25 yards. At this rate (someone much smarter than I am figured this out), he is making approximately $20,000 per yard.
JLH (5-2): Four total touchdowns for JR, but it was enough. Jennings had one of those scores, to go along with seven catches for 147 yards (16.50). Matt Ryan had two scores (also two picks) for 15.50, and Jonathan Stewart had the other TD (12.00). Shonn Greene (IOWA!!!) went over 100 yards (11.50). MVP: Jennings. He had almost half of Aaron Rodgers's passing yards on the day. LVP: Santonio Holmes, who finished with two catches for 24 yards. This week, Mark Sanchez only had eyes for Plaxico.
BE (0-7): Ed's kicker was awesome. The rest of his team...not so much. Rivers (7.00) only threw for 179 yards and one touchdown. He also had two interceptions. MJD (8.50) went over 100 yards, but had a costly fumble at the goal line that was a nine-point swing (assuming he scores instead of fumbling). Chris Johnson rushed for 18 yards. Early Doucet caught a touchdown. MVP: John Kasay. He made two field goals and eight (!!!) extra points for a total of 14.00. LVP: Doug Baldwin. Lots to choose from here, but it goes to the guy who did not register a catch all game (0.00).

Fruit on the Bottom 93.00-Let My Monkeys Go 57.75
Welty gets his first win of the season (and in convincing fashion no less). Tim Tebow's fantastic last three minutes lead Welty's squad to victory. Mason Crosby made a bunch of long field goals, and Ryan Torain put up a goose egg. These two teams combined to have four players score at least 10 points. Earnest Graham and Ryan Mathews were both injured early on, so that didn't help Viano very much. Did you know: Tebowing, where you go out in random places, drop to one knee, and begin to pray, is the new planking. I didn't know this, but my Twitter feed tells me so, so it must be true. Try it for yourself and see how much fun it can be.
FOTB (1-6): At the start of the fourth quarter, Tebow had two passing yards. He finished with 161 and two scores, and he also rushed for 59 yards and a two-point conversion (25.50). Crosby made four field goals and added three extra points (16.00). Not much aside from that, although Antonio Brown did go over 100 receiving yards (8.50). MVP: Tebow. The Golden Child looked awful for three quarters, but he turned it on in the fourth and overtime. It will be interesting to see how he does against the Lions. Is he for real, or was this a result of playing the Dolphins? LVP: Ryan Torain. He rushed for -5 yards. That is all.
LMMG (3-4): The Texans scored 41 points, but Matt Schaub only threw two touchdowns. Still, he didn't throw any interceptions and accounted for 21.50 points, more than 1/3 of Viano's total for the week. Anquan Boldin (10.00) caught the only other touchdown for Viano's squad. Not much else to say. MVP: Schaub. Not a whole lot to choose from, but Schaub's day was good enough to end up here. Just under 300 yards and two scores. LVP: Greg Olsen. Cam Newton was throwing for a bunch of yards, but Olsen only managed one catch for four yards (1.00).

ChamPeons 155.00-Phil Powell Rules 118.75
This match-up turned about the time Drew Brees threw his first touchdown pass to Marques Colston. I went from being up 10 to down 10, and it was all downhill from there. Brees went off (five TDs). Also, DeMarco Murray and Matt Forte are pretty good as well. Champ only had five guys score in double figures (I also had five), but his were much, much better. Champ also won by 36.25 in spite of taking -3.00 from Tashard Choice. Did you know: Murray set a new Dallas record for most rushing yards by a rookie. Bonus: The Saints scored 62 points against the Colts, and the Rams have scored 56 points in six games this season.
C (5-2): Champ has won four straight after a 1-2 start. Murray had 253 yards rushing and a touchdown (31.00). Colston had 98 yards receiving and two scores (19.50). Forte had 183 total yards and a touchdown (22.00). Even Steve Smith had 143 receiving yards (10.50). MVP: Brees. Five touchdowns and 325 yards passing. Not quite Rodgers against the Broncos, but it was very, very close. LVP: Choice. It's more than a little frustrating to lose to a guy who had a -3.00 on his team, but I guess it was easier to swallow because I still got curb stomped.
PPR (5-2): Rodgers was awesome, again (30.00). Megatron found the end zone, again (13.50). Adrian Peterson had one of his better games of the year with 178 rushing yards and a touchdown (23.50). Michael Turner ran for 122 yards but no scores (12.00). The rest of my team was a whole lot of dreck. Nate Washington, Mike Thomas, and Dallas Clark were non-entities (1.00 combined). MVP: Rodgers. He threw for 335 yards and three touchdown passes. LVP: Dallas Clark. The Colts didn't do much right against the Saints, and Clark did not manage a single reception (0.00).

Waiting for Goodell 146.25-Pantry Cereals 65.75
Baron had six guys record double-digit point totals (including his kicker and a defender), while Drew's team (without Brady and Welker) managed not a single one. Jason Witten (9.50) came the closest, and then the next highest mark came from Charles Woodson (7.75). Arian Foster, Big Ben, and Darren Sproles all went off. Roethlisberger and Foster by themselves (68.00 combined) would have beaten Drew this week. Did you know: James Anderson went to Virginia Tech and was drafted 88th overall in the 2006 draft. (I had to look that one up, and by this time, I was out of interesting factoids to put here).
WFG (3-4): Baron finally had Big Ben in the lineup when he had a good game (31.50). Foster (36.50) had at least 100 yards receiving and 100 yards rushing and three touchdowns. Sproles had 107 total yards and two touchdowns (23.00). Mike Wallace and Kellen Winslow also caught touchdowns. MVP: Foster. He finished with 234 yards of total offense and finally looked healthy. LVP: Devery Henderson. With all of the TDs Brees was throwing, Henderson (0.50) only had one catch total for nine yards.
PC (4-3): Two total touchdowns for Drew. One came from Matt Hasselbeck, which was offset by two interceptions, and the other came from Witten. Woodson had two interceptions. In week one, Brady and Welker combined for 63 points. Just saying. MVP: Witten. It's probably not your week when your best player has five catches for 35 yards and a score. LVP: Ray Rice. He finished with just 63 yards and a fumble. He wasn't a big focus of the offense, and that clearly bothered Terrell Suggs, so it has to count for something.

Next week: Ed looks for his first win against Viano, Welty looks to start a winning streak against Champ, JR puts his four-game winning streak on the line against Drew, Eli goes up against Baron (who is hoping the Good Big Ben shows up again), and the two Lions' fans square off, with Tomke hoping Stafford throws eight TD passes to receivers not named Calvin Johnson.

Around VUFSA: Week Six

This was kind of a stinker of a week. Not a single match-up was decided by fewer than 20 points. Bye weeks, injuries, and general suckitude of certain players led to these less than exciting results. While the scores weren't interesting, what the league looks like after Week Six certainly is. There is a five-way tie for second place, and eighth-place team is only two games out of a playoff spot. Next week will mark the halfway point of the regular season, and all we really know is the Ed and Welty are likely fighting it out for the top pick in the 2012 draft.

Jamie Looks Hot 117.50-Let My Monkeys Go 96.50
What happened: This was a tie game going into Monday night. JR had three Jets going for his team, while Viano was all done. In spite of Mark Sanchez's continued ineptitude, JR's trio combined for 21.00 to get the win. With the Chargers on bye, Viano was forced to turn to Montario Hardesty and Hines Ward to try and get the job done. Matt Ryan finally had a decent game, Jordy Nelson caught a 93-yard touchdown pass, and Ahmad Bradshaw had a career day. Viano had five guys who scored at least 10.00 points, and then had no one else score more than 6.25.
JLH (4-2): If life wasn't fair when his team was 3-2, I can only imagine what JR thinks about his team being 4-2. Ryan (18.50) accounted for two scores and no touchdowns. Nelson (12.00), Brandon Pettigrew (12.00), and Santonio Holmes (10.50) all caught touchdown passes. But the story of JR's team was Bradshaw. Non only did he have three one-yard touchdown runs (which is a career high for him), but he finished with 130 total yards of offense (30.00). MVP: Bradshaw. He had 56.50 points in the first five weeks (two touchdowns), so he increased his output by almost 50 percent in one game. LVP: Reggie Wayne. He wasn't the lowest scoring offensive player (that would be Dustin Keller), but with Curtis Painter showing competence, this it's disappointing to get low totals (4.50 this week) from Wayne.
LMMG (3-3): When you have to start Montario Hardesty, it generally is a sign that you're in for a tough go of it. To his credit, Viano tallied almost 100 points, which is commendable in any case but especially with Ryan Mathews and Vincent Jackson on bye. How Viano got there, is quite interesting. For the second week in a row, Viano gets a big week from his kicker. Billy Cundiff (17.00) made five field goals, and was actually Viano's highest scoring player of the week. Earnest Graham (12.00) was a great play with LaGarrette Blount out. Matt Schaub (15.25) was stifled a little bit by Baltimore's defense (only one touchdown). A.J. Green (10.50) and Anquan Boldin (10.00) were the only other guys who had double-figure scoring. MVP: Cundiff (PFL Pride!!). Having your kicker as your top scorer (when the kicker is really good and not because the offense is putrid) will get him in this slot every time. LVP: Felix Jones. Jones finished with 33 total yards (2.00). Not good numbers from a featured back.

Pantry Cereals 122.75-Who is Ron Mexico 100.25
What happened: Drew's AFC North corps of running backs all reached double-figures, and Dave's wide receivers only combined for 12.50 points, which is 1.25 more than Wes Welker had by himself (and he had an average day). Drew scored the most points this week in spite of getting a -1.00 from Davone Bess. Miles Austin returned to action, but Tony Romo's touchdown pass went to Jason Witten.
PC (4-2): Tom Brady continues to have problems with interceptions (two more this week), and he and Welker only combined for 30.00. They will probably have to combine for more than that in the coming weeks for Drew. I will admit to never having heard of Preston Parker (32 yards receiving and a touchdown), but maybe I'm in the minority on that. Rashard Mendenhall (20.00) had 146 yards and a score, while Ray Rice (15.50) had 161 yards of offense. Cedric Benson (11.50) and Witten (10.00) each had touchdowns as well. MVP: Mendenhall. Not much else to say. His numbers were very good, and have been good this whole year. LVP: Bess. He finished with 21 yards receiving and a fumble. You will find yourself in this space when your owner would have been better off leaving your roster spot empty.
WIRM (4-2): Tomke only got 10+ from two players (Matthew Stafford and Darren McFadden). Jahvid Best had 110 total yards (but apparently is suffering from concussion-like symptoms). Miles Austin and Jimmy Graham each had seven catches, while Roddy White, DeSean Jackson, and Plaxico Burress combined for six catches. That's where this match-up was lost. MVP: Stafford. Stafford (24.00) threw for 293 yards and two scores. I guess he doesn't lose any points for having a safety charged against him. It could have just as easily been McFadden (16.00), who continues to be awesome, and will probably only be better with the addition of Carson Palmer. LVP: Burress. One catch for 16 yards and 0.50 points.

ChamPeons 102.00-Dexter McClusterfunk 78.75
What happened: Each team had a running back score 0.00 (for Champ it was Blount, for Eli it was Tim Hightower). Fred Jackson continued to be awesome, while Cam Newton came back to earth. Robbie Gould outscored Drew Brees, and Eli only had double-figure scoring from Jackson and Newton. LeSean McCoy and Matt Forte continued their stellar play (31.00 combined). Sadly, Terrell Owens did not make an appearance in this match-up.
CP (4-2): Brees (13.25) had three picks and only offset those with one touchdown. McCoy (19.00) had 139 total yards and a touchdown. Forte (12.00) had 123 total yards (but they let Marion Barber score the touchdown (or maybe it was Laurence Maroney--I can never remember who is who between those two). Brees was kind enough to throw his touchdown pass to Marques Colston (15.00), who finished with 118 yards receiving. So that was nice of him. MVP: Gould. The Chicago kicker (14.00) made three field goals, including one from 50+. LVP: Blount (although it could go to Champ himself for not putting another back in his place).
DMC (4-2): Newton had a really rough day (three interceptions and just one touchdown). Jackson was the top scorer on the team with 22.50. There's not a whole lot else worthy of mention. Mark Ingram (9.00) had a touchdown. That was it. Three touchdowns from Eli's entire team. MVP: Jackson. I am developing a man-crush on this guy. He just continues to get it done. This week, he had 168 total yards and a touchdown. Where would Eli's team (and the Bills) be without him? LVP: Hightower. He didn't play against the Eagles but was listed as active, which really sucks for his owners. That Washington backfield is a mess. Why does Mike Shanahan hate fantasy football so much?

Waiting for Goodell 104.00-Bobby Engram 78.75
What happened: Thanks to bye weeks, trades, and injuries, Ed's starting lineup included Delone Carter, Kevin Walter, Jerome Simpson, and Bernard Scott. That's not exactly Murderer's Row. Joe Flacco led Ed's team (not necessarily surprising), but he only did so with 11.50. Ouch. Baron only got double-digits from four guys, but that's okay because Frank Gore decimated the Lions' defense. Baron's love-hate relationship with Ben Roethlisberger continued, as Big Ben only managed 13.00 this week. Baron did get at least 4.50 from every one of his offensive starters, and Ed had four players who managed less than that.
WFG (2-4): Gore led the way (21.00) with 146 total yards and a touchdown. Stevie Johnson and Mike Wallace (10.00 each) both had touchdown catches. Baron's team only had four touchdowns, but it was enough this time around. Big Ben only threw for 200 yards and one score, and Baron will have to continue to debate between him and Josh Freeman (23.75 this week). MVP: Gore. After almost being benched a few weeks ago, Gore has come out and put up great numbers the last two weeks. LVP: Mario Manningham. Manningham's 4.50 points was the fewest of each of Baron's offensive starters.
BE (0-6): After Maurice Jones-Drew's 91 percent started, the next highest on Ed's roster for the week was Jermaine Gresham at 37 percent. It has just been one of those years for Ed. (Not that there is a lot of sympathy around the league for the two-time defending champ). Flacco (305 yards and a rushing touchdown but two turnovers) was the top scorer at 11.50. MJD (10.00) had 104 total yards. Nate Burleson (9.00) managed Ed's other touchdown. Yes, you read that correctly. Ed's team had two touchdowns. MVP: LaMarr Woodley. Woodley had eight tackles and two sacks (9.00) to tie for the third-best total on Ed's squad. LVP: Bye weeks. I like Scott Chandler (0.50) too much to but him hear, so let me say that Ed had four guys who would be starters all on byes this week.

Phil Powell Rules 95.75-Fruit on the Bottom 61.50
What happened: Neither of Welty's running backs played (Knowshon Moreno was on a bye and Joseph Addai did not suit up), and my team only had two players reach double figures (but Michael Turner and Aaron Rodgers were kind enough to go well past the 10-point mark). Jared Allen had Welty's second-best score of the week. The 49ers held Calvin Johnson without a touchdown, and Chicago's large lead limited Adrian Peterson's effectiveness.
PPR (5-1): A pretty blah week from the team at the top of the league. They only managed six touchdowns, and five of those came from Rodgers and Michael Turner. Rodgers (26.25) did throw for three scores (including a 93-yarder to Jordy Nelson). Turner (25.50) rushed for 139 yards and two touchdowns. It was by far his best game of the year. Other than those two, AP had the team's sixth touchdown and Megatron went over 100 yards receiving. MVP: Turner. His best game of the year came at a time when AP didn't do much and Peyton Hillis was hurt, so it was definitely needed. LVP: Hillis. The Madden Curse continues as Hillis has never been able to get on track this season. He managed only 1.00 point before leaving with a hamstring injury and could be out for a few weeks.
FOTB (0-6): Michael Vick (16.50) limited his turnovers (1), but he only had one touchdown. Jared Allen (10.50) had a sack, forced a fumble, and recovered a fumble. Vick's touchdown was Welty's only one this week. Neither of his running backs played. It was definitely a struggle this week, but since his Cardinals are in the World Series, I'm not sure he cares much. MVP: Allen. Double digits from a defensive player is great. Welty just needs the rest of his roster to do something. I'm half surprised he didn't bench him since the Vikings were playing the Bears. LVP: Welty. I don't want to be mean here, but he had other running backs who could have played and didn't. It doesn't look good when both your starting running backs don't play. I'm guessing he just forgot to make changes, or maybe he really does want to secure the top pick in the 2012 draft. By the way, circle week 9 on your calendars. That's when Welty takes on Ed, which could be a battle of two winless teams if things don't turn around in the next two weeks.

Around the VUFSA: Week Five

In this week's installment of Around the VUFSA, the last remaining unbeaten team lost (damn you, Eli), Tomke's five Lions brought some serious Thunder against Ed, Drew lost his second straight match-up, and JR won the closest contest of the season to improve to 3-2. All in all, seven teams are within one game of first, while the bottom three teams (Ed, Welty, Baron) have one combined win.

Jamie Looks Hot 80.50-Fruit on the Bottom 79.25
What Happened: JR won by 1.25 points mostly because Welty didn't bother to swap out two defenders who were on byes. Perhaps, much like the Miami Dolphins, Welty is attempting to position himself to select Andrew Luck with the top pick in next year's draft (although I doubt it since he has Michael Vick), or maybe he was so distracted by the NLCS that he simply forgot to check. Brandon Pettigrew out-thundered Johnny Knox 9.00-1.00 to lead JR to the win. Matt Ryan underperformed, and Mason Crosby was Welty's second best scorer.
JLH (3-2): Mr. Radcliffe pulled off the victory despite only getting four touchdowns from his entire roster. One of those came from Pettigrew (9.00) on Monday night. Shonn Greene had 83 yards rushing and a score (15.00). Greg Jennings had JR's second best total with 12.00 (four catches, 82 yards, and a score). Ahmad Bradshaw recorded double-digits thanks to a two-point conversion (10.00). Players who scored more points than Matt Ryan (7.50): Greene, Jennings, Bradshaw, Pettigrew, and Neil Rackers (9.00). JR selected the wrong Carolina running back, going with Jonathan Stewart (2.50), while DeAngelo Williams (17.50) was on the bench. MVP: Greene with 92 total yards and a score against New England. LVP: Matt Ryan. Atlanta's quarterback has been a disappointment all season (almost Rivers-esque). Ryan's numbers of 167 passing yards, one touchdown, and two interceptions just won't get it done.
FOTB (0-5): Vick (21.50) threw for 315 yards and two scores and rushed for 90 yards, but he was done in by four interceptions. Denarius Moore and Mike Williams combined for 0.50 points. Welty's squad also managed just four touchdowns, with Jeremy Maclin (11.00) and Knowshon Moreno (6.50--no rushing yards, all receiving). Mason Crosby (14.00) scored the second-most points for Welty. It's usually not a good sign when your kicker is the second-best player on your team. Jared Allen (10.75) was the fourth-best, so without his only defender and kicker, Welty's team managed fewer than 50 points. Yikes. MVP: Mason Crosby. Crosby made four field goals (including one from 56 yards) and an extra point. LVP: Non-Maclin wide receivers. The four other wide outs combined for 4.50 points.

Who is Ron Mexico 122.25-Bobby Engram 118.25
What Happened: Tomke trailed by 40 points going into the Monday night game, and his five Lions (specifically Jahvid Best and Matthew Stafford) combined for 46.75 points to keep Edwin winless. Ed had his best day of the year with six guys scoring at least 12.50 points. Unfortunately for him, Tomke got huge days from Best and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. The tide of this game turned when Best ripped off an 88-yard touchdown run. Another factor was that Stafford threw a bunch to Calvin Johnson and not much to Nate Burleson.
WIRM (4-1): Darren McFadden (6.00) and Stafford (17.75) were average, but Best (24.00 and Green-Ellis (25.50) picked up the slack. Best rushed for 163 yards, and Green-Ellis had 149 total yards and two touchdowns. DeSean Jackson (12.50) and Roddy White (11.00) each caught a touchdown, while Jimmy Graham had eight grabs for 129 yards (10.00). MVP: Green-Ellis. New England's new found running game is a boost to Tomke's roster. BJE is the least likely of the Tomke's three backs to go off, and it means good things if he can keep it up. LVP: Eric Decker. Two catches for -4 yards (1.00) is less than ideal.
BE (0-5): Philip Rivers had 250 yards and two TDs, but he also committed two turnovers (16.50). Vernon Davis caught two touchdowns (14.50), while Kevin Walter, MJD, Chris Johnson, Jermaine Gresham, and Beanie Wells each had a touchdown. This was by far Ed's best week of the year, and it still wasn't enough. I'm sure he would have loved to have played another wide receiver other than Burleson, but his other two (Britt, Andre Johnson) are both injured. MVP: Davis. It is rare to get two scores from a tight end, and with the loss of Josh Morgan, Davis is probably San Francisco's best receiver. The problem is, Ed traded him to me for a third round pick. LVP: Burleson (1.00). Stafford does such a good job of spreading around the ball, and it really hurt that he only found Burleson once.

Dexter McClusterfunk 130.25-Phil Powell Rules 112.00
What Happened: Eli had six guys put up double-figure totals, while I only managed four. Calvin Johnson was unable to overcome a 32-point deficit by himself on Monday night. Fred Jackson and Cam Newton continued to be really awesome, and Stephen Gostkowski reached double figures as well (I think he even registered a tackle or something like that). On the other side, Adrian Peterson took out his frustration on Cardinals. Aaron Rodgers and Calvin Johnson put up solid days as well, but there wasn't a whole lot other than that.
DMC (4-1): Jackson had 196 total yards and touchdown (24.50). I know that the first pick of the second round is probably to early for the STEAL OF THE DRAFT, but Jackson has been stellar all year for Eli. I think Cam Newton (25.00--three touchdowns) qualifies as the best waiver wire pick-up of the year. Lynch (15.50) and Mark Ingram (10.00) both added touchdowns. Gostkowski (12.25) made three field goals and three extra points). MVP: Jackson (again). He just continues to be awesome. As long as the Bills keep playing well, Jackson will continue to put up at least 15 points every week. LVP: Jacoby Jones. Getting the start in place of the injured Andre Johnson should have meant more than one catch for Jones (1.00).
PPR (4-1): Adrian Peterson rushed for 122 yards and three scores (30.00). Johnson continued to be awesome with five grabs for 130 yards and a score (14.50). Rodgers (25.50) had almost 400 yards and two scores. Michael Turner found the end zone (and then the Falcons stopped running the ball). The rest of the lineup was a whole lot of meh. And against the numbers Eli's team put up, meh is not going to get it done. MVP: Peterson. He gashed the Cardinals and was undoubtedly much happier with the play calling in that contest. LVP: Brandon Lloyd (1.50) had one catch for 20 yards, and that was on Denver's final drive of the game.

ChamPeons 115.50-Pantry Cereals 84.75
What Happened: Tom Brady and Wes Welker were merely average (23.50 combined), and Drew's two running backs combined for 3.50 points. Champ's three running backs combined for 36.50, and Drew Brees continued to do what he does (put up good numbers). Sebastian Janikowski (16.00) outscored everyone on Drew's roster except Dwayne Bowe, which is good for Sebastian but bad for Drew. Victor Cruz had another big day, and Michael Jenkins's 0.00 wasn't the lowest total in this contest, as Ryan Grant put up -1.50 for Drew.
CP (3-2): Brees (24.00) tossed for 359 yards and two scores. Cruz (15.50) had 8 catches for 161 yards and a score. LeSean McCoy had 107 total yards and a score (17.00), and Matt Forte had 151 total yards (14.00). Steve Smith had 79 receiving yards a touchdown (10.50). MVP: Cruz. The Giants' rookie had another big week, and he has quickly become Eli Manning's favorite target. LVP: Jenkins. He did have 32 receiving yards, but he lost it all thanks to a fumble.
PC (3-2): Brady only threw for one touchdown this week (partially offset by an interception), he had the nerve to throw it to someone other than Welker. Bowe (21.50) had two touchdowns and 128 yards receiving in KC's first win of the year. Janikowski made four field goals (including three from 50+). Other than that, there isn't a whole lot worth mentioning. Drew can hate the schedule makers for having Ray Rice and Rashard Mendenhall both be on byes at the same time. MVP: Bowe. He had struggled mightily through most of the season (not his fault), and this was a good game to get him going for the rest of the year. LVP: Grant. 24 total yards were negated by a fumble. It's a pretty strong statement saying that Drew would have been better off playing one of his guys who were on a bye.

Let My Monkeys Go 126.75-Waiting for Goodell 78.50
What Happened: Viano had three guys who scored more points (including kicker Nick Novak) than Baron's best guy. Baron decided to sit Big Ben, and that turned out to be a tremendous mistake. Pierre Garcon continues to be Curtis Painter's favorite wide receiver (two more touchdowns), and Willis McGahee actually outperformed Ryan Mathews. Frank Gore, Arian Foster, and Mike Wallace were good for Baron, and no one else was.
LMMG (3-2): Matt Schaub (20.00) passed for 400+ yards and two touchdowns but also had two interceptions. Garcon (20.50) had five catches for 125 yards and two scores. AJ Green and Greg Olson each had touchdowns, while Mathews had 132 total yards and McGahee had 125 total yards. Novak (18.00) made five field goals to be the highest scoring kicker of the week. MVP: Novak. Garcon could go here, but we should reward the kicker for making five field goals. LVP: Vincent Jackson. Jackson caught three passes for 34 yards (2.50), and was Viano's lowest scorer on offense.
WFG (0-5): The good news for Baron (if you want to look at it that way) is that even if he had started Big Ben, he still would have lost. Six of Baron's starters on offense (including Josh Freeman) scored fewer than 10 points. Gore had 143 total yards and a score (16.50), and Wallace had 82 receiving yards and a touchdown (13.50). Foster pitched in with 184 total yards (13.50). MVP: Gore. He has had two solid weeks after being not very good to start the year. LVP: Freeman. There are (sadly) a lot of options here, but Freeman was the worst with only 187 yards and two picks (1.50).

Week Four in Review

Another week is in the books here in the VUFSA. Two contests were decided by fewer than four points. Ed and Welty remain winless, while a record-setting performance by Aaron Rodgers decided a battle of unbeatens, and Viano didn't have a player score more than 13.50 points, but it was enough to knock Tomke from the ranks of the unbeaten. And Baron will probably be sending Rotoworld some very mean and spiteful e-mails. On with the show.

Let My Monkeys Go 114.25-Who is Ron Mexico 112.50
What Happened: Viano didn't have a player score more than 13.50 points, but he had eight(!) guys record double-digit point totals (including his kicker and a defender). Did you know Viano has been involved in the two closest games this season (week one loss to Eli by 1.50)? I bet you didn't. Anyone other than Viano who says they knew that is a liar. While I'm sure Tomke rejoiced in the Lions' comeback win, he was hurt by the fact that two of Detroit's scores were from defenders (neither of whom he played). Viano's San Diego threesome (Jackson, Tolbert, and Mathews) outscored Best, McFadden, and Tate (38-19.50).
LMMG (2-2): Viano didn't have one guy with an exceptionally stellar day, but he had eight guys with really solid days. Ryan Mathews (13.50) led the way without registering a touchdown. Vincent Jackson (12.50) had 108 yards and a score. Greg Olsen (10.50) had a touchdown against his former team. Sidney Rice (10.50) had a touchdown. (Wait, does that mean Tavaris Jackson threw a touchdown pass? That can't be right, can it?) Desmond Bishop (10.75) had a sack and forced a fumble. You know you've had a good day when you get double-figures from your kicker and a defender. MVP: Mike Tolbert. With the way Mathews has performed the last few weeks, I would have thought Tolbert's value would have decreased. Norv Turner is making good use of both backs, and Tolbert (12.00) chipped in with a touchdown. LVP: Anquan Boldin. Thanks to Joe Flacco's ineptitude (which was only surpassed by Mark Sanchez), Boldin had one catch for 28 yards and 1.50 points.
WIRM (3-1): If Tomke had started Romo over Stafford (in spite of all the interceptions), he would have won. The Patriots finally decided to run, and if he had started Ridley or Green-Ellis instead of Tate, he would have won. As for the guys Tomke did start, Jimmy Graham (17.00) was awesome and Eric Decker has become Kyle Orton's favorite red zone target (two touchdowns). The Patriots kept Darren McFadden out of the end zone, and DeSean Jackson had 171 yards but no scores. MVP: Jimmy Graham. The former Miami Hurricane power forward had 10 catches for 132 yards and a touchdown. With his trade for Antonio Gates, Tomke has three of the top tight ends in the NFL (Gates, Graham, Hernandez). So he's got that going for him, which is nice. LVP: Ben Tate. Tate only managed 20 yards on the ground, and he may be looking at a diminished role, with Arian Foster looking healthy again.

Jamie Looks Hot 84.50-Waiting for Goodell 81.00
What Happened: Arian Foster finally looked like a top-three fantasy running back. That was about all that went right for Baron. He sat Frank Gore because Rotoworld told him to, and Big Ben went down with an injury. JR only had two guys score at least 10 points (Ryan and Jennings), but his team was slightly less bad than Baron's team was. This match-up had a mini "Thundering," as Reggie Wayne's four points allowed JR to overcome a 0.50-point deficit.
JLH (2-2): Matt Ryan and Greg Jennings were the only two players in JR's lineup to reach double-figures. Ryan was solid (20.00) against the Seahawks, and Greg Jennings had 1/4 of Aaron Rodgers's passing yards (14.50) and a touchdown. There's not a whole lot to say other than that. Ahmad Bradshaw had JR's only other non-quarterback touchdown. That's right, JR's team had three total touchdowns (half as many as Rodgers had) and he won. MVP: Greg Jennings. The pride of Kalamazoo Central High School (screw you, Jeter) had seven catches for 103 yards and a score. LVP: JR's three Jets. Dustin Keller, Shonn Greene, and Santonio Holmes combined for 5.50 points. If I have to pick one, I'll go with Greene. Two points from a running back isn't (usually) good enough.
WFG (1-3): I could probably sum this up with the phrase, "Baron hates Rotoworld." The nice thing about these close games is that I can play the "If he had started..." game. If Baron had started any of Gore (19.00), Julio Jones (11.50), or Josh Freeman (25.25), he would have won. On the bright side, Arian Foster (22.50) finally looked like he has shaken off his hamstring injury and is ready to start destroying defenses again. Fun Fact: Baron's team had two total touchdowns. So, Aaron Rodgers scored more touchdowns that JR and Baron's teams combined. MVP: Foster. His totals of 155 yards and a touchdown are more like what Baron had been expecting from Foster all along. LVP: Can I give this to Baron for sitting the aforementioned players? I get sitting Gore because Hunter got the start, but I think Julio Jones should be an every week starter. As it is, this goes to Rob Gronkowski. He took advantage of Aaron Hernandez's absence last week, but this week...no so much. He managed just one catch for 15 yards (0.50). Also, special notice to Ben Roethlisberger, who managed 6.00 points against the Texans and got hurt in the process.

Dexter McClusterfunk 114.75-Fruit on the Bottom 103.75
What Happened: Cam Newton (31.75) and Michael Vick (31.50) basically canceled each other out, and wide receivers accounted for the difference in this match-up. Hakeem Nicks, Dez Bryant, and Larry Fitzgerald combined for 43.00, while Mike Williams, Denarius Moore, Jeremy Maclin, and Antonio Brown combined for 23.00 for Welty. Fred Jackson continues to be awesome for the Gun, while Welty needs to find another running back, as Knowshon Moreno continues to disappoint (0.50).
DM (3-1): Newton continued to look like he was worth the top pick in the NFL Draft. This week, he threw for 374 yards and a touchdown, and he also had two rushing touchdowns and finished with the second-highest quarterback total for the week. Nicks (19.00) had 10 grabs for 162 yards and a score, while Fitzgerald (9.50) didn't get in the end zone but did have 102 receiving yards. Bryant (14.50) only had three catches, but two went for touchdowns (that was when Tony Romo was still throwing passes to his team). Jackson (15.50) had 98 total yards and a score, and that basically accounts for all of Eli's scoring. MVP: Newton. It's not that surprising that he put up the numbers he did (for he has done it three of the first four weeks), but it's that he did it against the Bears. Newton scored 18 more points than Yahoo projected him to have scored. LVP: Tim Hightower. After a breakout performance two weeks ago, Hightower (3.00) saw most of his carries go to Ryan Torain this week. Not only will this make fantasy owners hate Mike Shanahan, but it could be a problem for Eli going forward.
FOTB (0-4): Vick was essentially all of Philly's offense (416 yards passing, 75 yards rushing, two touchdowns). Steven Jackson (12.00) had 64 total yards and a touchdown, while Tony Gonzalez (11.50) and Moore (7.50) each had touchdown catches. Jared Allen (7.00) was Welty's fifth-best scorer, which probably tells you all you need to know about the state of his team this week. MVP: Vick. Just as he was all of Philly's offense, he accounted for 30 percent of Welty's total score this week. LVP: Knowshon Moreno. Maybe part of this can be accounted for by Denver's deficit and having to get away from the running game, but Moreno managed just 11 total yards (0.50). This would have been a good week to start Torain in his place (although hindsight is always 20/20).

ChamPeons 131.50-Bobby Engram 113.50
What Happened: LeGarrette Blount (18.50) brought a tiny bit of Thunder, as Champ rallied from a 0.50-point deficit going into the week's final game. Ed was burned badly by his three wide receivers, who combined for 4.00 points. Adding injury to insult, Andre Johnson left with a hamstring injury and could be out for a couple of weeks. Beanie Wells (31.00) and Matt Forte (29.00) were each side's high-point totals, and I honestly don't think anyone expected that. Ed's two tight ends accounted for 21.00 (17 more than this wide receivers), and we finally had a Chris Johnson sighting.
C: Forte's awesome day (228 total yards and a touchdown) led the way, but Champ had good balance with seven guys recording double-figure totals. Blount's 141 total yards and a score on Monday night were good enough to be Champ's second-best effort for the week. Drew Brees (16.25) threw more interceptions (two) than touchdowns (one). Owen Daniels and LeSean McCoy each had touchdowns, while Steve Smith didn't have a score but did have eight catches for 181 yards. MVP: Forte. Not only did he lead Champ's beloved Bears (BEARS!!) to victory, but Forte also led Champ himself to the win this week. It's weeks like this that will make it very hard to not give him the big contract he's asking for. LVP: Chad Ochocinco. With Tom Brady only having eyes for Wes Welker and the emergence of a running game, there weren't enough passes to go around for 85.
BE: Philip Rivers (18.25) didn't have a turnover this week. Good for him. Chris Johnson (11.00) finally decided he sort of wanted to earn his money and could be in the top echelon of running backs soon. Jermaine Gresham and Vernon Davis combined for eight catches and two scores (21.00), which is two more catches and two more touchdowns than Johnson, Nate Burleson, and Devery Henderson had combined. The big news is Johnson, who may miss a few weeks depending on the results of his MRI. At some point, Ed will catch a break this season. I promise. MVP: Beanie Wells, who attended the most god-forsaken school this side of ORU. Three touchdowns and 138 yards is a fantastic day, and it came from an unlikely source. If you asked which of Ed's three running backs was least likely to go off like this, I think Wells would be the runaway winner in that poll. LVP: All three of his wide receivers, who, as previously, mentioned combined for six catches and 52 yards. It's a testament to the rest of his roster that he scored 113.50 with only 4 from his three starting wide receivers.

Phil Powell Rules 146.75-Pantry Cereals 125.75
What Happened: Aaron Rodgers out Brady-ied Tom Brady. That basically accounts for the difference between these two teams, as Rodgers posted a record-setting (I believe anyway) day with 51.25 points, while Brady only managed 20.00. Calvin Johnson set an NFL record by catching two touchdowns in his fourth straight game to start the season. Wes Welker continued to be stellar, and Ray Rice was the only semblance of offense in what was otherwise a dreadful Sunday night game. These two squads seem pretty even, and when they meet again in week 13, quarterback play will almost certainly decide it again.
PPR (4-0): Rodgers recorded what I believe is the highest single-game total (51.25) in VUFSA history. (Again, someone will have to check on that for me). Johnson (20.00) had one catch in the first half for three yards and had seven catches for 93 yards and two touchdowns in the second half. Michael Turner (20.00) had two touchdowns. Brandon Lloyd had eight catches for 136 yards (10.00). Kickers don't usually get much love here, but Matt Bryant (13.00) had three field goals of 40 yards or more. MVP: Rodgers. He's the first player in NFL history with 400+ yards passing, four passing touchdowns, and two rushing touchdowns in the same game. If only he hadn't thrown that interception. LVP: Scott Chandler. The Buffalo tight end only managed two catches for eight yards (2.00). Not so good after a touchdown catch in each of his first three games.
PC (3-1): Drew was done in by the fact that New England finally found a running game. Brady only accounted for two of New England's four touchdowns, and that was a big difference in the result this week. Welker (17.50) went over 150 yards and a score, and Dwayne Bowe (13.50) surpassed 100 yards with a score. Jason Witten (14.50) was Romo's favorite non-Lion target (eight catches, 94 yards, one touchdown). Ray Rice (16.00) had a 120 total yards and a touchdown. MVP: Welker. Witten or Rice could also go here, but Welker continues be a solid 15+ score every week. It's hard to go against that. LVP: Davone Bess. All of Drew's other wide receivers had either 100+ yards or a touchdown or both. Bess (2.50) had three catches for 21 yards.

Week Three In Review

I figured I would take care of this again this week. Since I'm basically a Comm major at Valpo again (and everyone but Welty knows what that is like), I have a lot of time on my hands. If you think I'm doing a crappy job, make sure to say so in the comments.
Another interesting week in the VUFSA as three teams moved to 3-0, the defending champion fell to 0-3 (and is probably cursing Chris Johnson and Philip Rivers) along with Welty, and Champ and JR both fell to 1-2. After last week's lack of close games, we had a couple decided by fewer than 12 points this go around (which I guess sort of qualifies as close). Games are listed in order of final margin of victory.

Pantry Cereals 129.75-Dexter McClusterfunk 124.00
The Lowdown: In a match-up of unbeatens, Drew keeps rolling along as Wes Welker topped the 30-point mark, and Tom Brady had his third-straight big day (although it would have been better if he hadn't channeled his inner Philip Rivers and throw four interceptions. Eli smartly decided to drop sexy Rexy and got a great day from Jermichael Finley, but his trio of Santana Moss, Tim Hightower, and Dez Bryant couldn't quite bring enough Thunder.
PC: Did you know that more than half of Brady's completions on Sunday went to Welker? As long as these two keep performing, Drew is going to keep winning. Welker had 16 catches for 217 yards and two scores (31), and Brady threw for almost 400 yards and four scores (although that was partially offset by his four picks). Ray Rice had 162 all-purpose yards, and Dwayne Bowe finally caught a touchdown pass. Hero: Welker, without question. A really good day for a receiver is 20 points, and 30 is almost unheard of. Goat: Since defensive players are exempt from this space, I'll go with Rashard Mendenhall. Facing a Colts defense that was gashed repeatedly by Peyton Hillis last week, Mendenhall managed only 37 yards on the ground and finished with 4.50 points. Not a strong showing.
DMCF: Eli is the league-leader in team names, with three in three weeks. So there's that, which is nice. His team had a very solid week (4th highest score), but unfortunately, they were opposing the team with the 2nd highest score. The Bears neglected to cover Finley (25.50) in the red zone, which I imagine angered the Gun much more than it pleased him, and Fred Jackson continued to be awesome (19.50). Cam Newton did fine (17.50) but could quite manage the magic of the first two weeks. Hero: Finley. He finished with seven grabs for 85 yards and three scores. Best TE production of the week, and it wasn't even that close. Goat: Hakeem Nicks only managed 2.50 points with both Mario Manningham and Domenic Hixon out.

Let My Monkeys Go 127.50-Champeons 116.00
The Lowdown: Viano picks up his first win of the year as Ryan Mathews finally shows off some of the skill that made him a first-round pick in last year's draft. Champ only had double-figure scoring from three guys, and it was still almost enough to get the win. Sean tried to single handedly bring the Thunder, but Felix Jones kept that from happening.
LMMG: Matt Schaub was fantastic against the Saints (373 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT--27.50), and Mathews had 149 yards of total offense and two touchdowns (25.50). Could this performance spur Mathews onto great things this year, Viano sure hopes so. If for no other reason than it would allow him to leave Mike Tolbert on the bench. It isn't too often that play both running backs in a rotation will get a win, but it did this week. Felix Jones had 155 yards of total offense, and Sidney Rice caught eight passes for 109 yards. Let that sink in for a minute...Tavaris Jackson threw for 109 yards. I'm as surprised as you are. Also of note, Billy Cundiff scored 13 points, making him the highest scoring PFL alumnus of the week. (Hero: Mathews. He has started to put it together the last two weeks, and that could be real trouble for Viano's opponents down the line. Goat: A.J. Green. Four catches for 29 yards against the Bengals is just not good enough.
C: Champ's defenders combined for 23.75 points, which is quite commendable. Drew Brees was even better than Schaub (30.75), and Lesean McCoy (19.50) was the bulk of Philly's offense once Mike Vick left the game. Pat Angerer scored 8.25 points. I only mention that because he went to IOWA, so that's extra cool for Champ. Hero(es): All three of Champ's defenders. It isn't often that your defenders combine for that many points, and as will be seen momentarily, they easily outscored his wide receivers. Goat(s): Champ's four wideouts (Steve Smith, Brandon Marshall, Chad Ochocinco, and Danario Alexander) totaled nine points, or 0.25 less than Sean Lee scored by himself. Ouch.

Waiting for Goodell 119.75-Fruit on the Bottom 91.25
The Lowdown: Baron picks up his first win of the season thanks to Rob Gronkowski's two touchdowns and his four wideouts combining for 45.50 points. Welty had two defenders (Jared Allen and Ray Lewis) put up double-digit totals, but that was offset by two zeros. Michael Vick's injury didn't help either.
WFG: No one was happier that Aaron Hernandez hurt himself than Baron. Gronkowski stepped into the primary role at tight end (although it's not like he was begin neglected when Hernandez was healthy) and finished with seven catches for 109 yards and two scores (21.00). Mike Wallace, Stevie Johnson, Darren Sproles, and Brandon Jacobs all had at least 12 points. Hero: Gronkowski. Normally, when a tight end is your leading scorer, it means the rest of your team was awful. In this case, it's because Gronkowski was quite good. Goat: Frank Gore. One measly point from Gore, who is on his way to becoming one of the biggest disappointments of the season (along with Arian Foster and Chris Johnson).
FOTB: Vick was injured (again), Knowshon Moreno didn't play, and Cameron Wake didn't record a single tackle. Two goose eggs and two points from Steven Jackson mean bad things for Welty. Jared Allen was Welty's highest scoring player, which is cool for Jared Allen, but is generally bad for the team's owner. Denarius Moore continued to be awesome. Also, Welty had him on the bench, but Johnny Knox should retroactively be given six points for that punt return for a touchdown. I don't care if there supposedly was holding, that deserves credit for the score. Hero: Allen. He was a one-man wrecking crew against the Lions. He totaled three sacks and also forced a fumble for 14.75 points total. Goat: Moreno. He was listed as active and did not get a single touch. Vick gets a pass here due to injury.

Phil Powell Rules 109.00-Bobby Engram 77.25
The Lowdown: Ed's quest for a repeat championship took a serious hit this week, as he only had two players post double-digit point totals. Aaron Rodgers and Calvin Johnson were great for me, and everyone else managed to be decent enough to keep Phil Powell Express rolling down the tracks at break-neck speed.
PPR: Rodgers's three touchdowns doomed both Ed's real team and his fantasy one. Johnson had 108 yards and two touchdowns (20.25), and he would have scored more if really awesome catches earned bonus points. That one in overtime was spectacular. Adrian Peterson (15.00) was good in the first half, and we finally had a Mike Thomas (10.00) sighting. Hero: Megatron. He's the first wide receiver in NFL history to have two touchdown catches in each of his team's first three games of the season. He is quite good at football. Goat: James Starks. He may be the future running back in Green Bay, but a late fumble sent him into negative territory and saved Deion Branch from ending up here.
BE: First, congrats to Edwin as his State Farm office officially opens on Saturday. Well done, sir. Now on to the not so good news. Philip Rivers continues to do his best Ali Berdiel impression, and Chris Johnson still looks really rusty (11.00 combined). MJD (167 total yards), Andre Johnson (128), and Vernon Davis (102) all topped 100 yards, but none found the end zone. Joe Flacco (30.75) had a huge day on the bench, but it wouldn't have been enough to get the win. Hero: MJD was the best player of the week with 15.50 points. Goat: Rivers. Two interceptions and no touchdowns against the Chiefs (5.00) is awful, especially considering Ryan Fitzpatrick and Matthew Stafford both scored 30-plus against KC. Chris Johnson as well for scoring 18.50 points in three weeks.

Who is Ron Mexico 136.75-Jamie Looks Hot 99.75
The Lowdown: Darren McFadden and Stafford keep Tomke unbeaten, and Kenny Britt's ACL no longer exists. Neil Rackers was JR's second-best scorer, and just like defenders, it doesn't generally bode well for you when your kicker is your second-best player for the week.
WIRM: Things didn't look quite so good for Tomke at halftime of the Lions game, but Stafford kicked into high gear in the second half to finish 378 yards and two scores (27.00). Darren McFadden rushed for 171 yards and two touchdowns (30.50). Jimmy Graham (13.00) continues to be one of the best tight ends this year, and Roddy White had nine catches for 140 yards (12.00). Hero: McFadden. He made Rex Ryan's vaunted defense look quite silly. Goat: DeSean Jackson. He only managed two catches (2.50), and if Vick can't go in the next few weeks, his value could be seriously hurt.
JLH: Matt Ryan thought he was Philip Rivers (three total turnovers), and Kenny Britt's knee exploded. This is nothing but hindsight, but if JR had started Eli Manning and Lance Moore in place of Ryan and Britt, he would have won. But the Brewers won the division on Friday, so I don't think JR is too bummed. Ahmad Bradshaw (18.50) and Shonn Greene (10.50) were pretty good. Hero: Bradshaw had 139 total yards and a score, tallying one of JR's three offensive touchdowns. Troy Polamalu deserves special mention for scoring a defensive touchdown (10.00). Goat: Santonio Holmes. I know Britt was in the negatives (-1.50), but the injury was the reason for that. Holmes, on the other hand, had one catch against a Raider defense that was shredded by Buffalo last week. Of course it could just be that Ryan Fitzpatrick is really that good and Mark Sanchez is really that bad.

Week 10 Recap

"REMEMBER GUYS...NO ONE GOES 0-16 BUT US!"

==================

EPIC MONDAY NIGHT THUNDER!!!

Stanzi Loves America (7-3): 110.00
Stanton for Heisman! (5-5): 126.00

What happened: The Chiefs got their teeth kicked in, and Matt Cassel exploded for 38.25 points. Somehow that wasn't enough as Michael Vick scored 44.50 IN THE FIRST HALF giving Dave a thundering of biblical proportions, finishing with a VUFSA record 55 points. Stem's normally good RBs were pretty bad, with all three combining for 16.00 points. Maurice Jones-Drew topped that himself with a 24.00 showing.

MVP: Who the fuck do you think?

Least VP: CJ Spiller, who notched just one point and left early with an injury. Hines Ward (0.00) and Jason Witten (0.50) were also notably absent.

What it means haiku: Stem still in first place. Tomke has resurrected. Now three five-win teams.

==================

LESS INTERESTING THUNDER!!!

ChamPeons (5-5): 104.00
Suhssical (3-7): 96.50

What happened: Jay Cutler (23.50) did just enough to counter Matt Ryan's (32.00) huge Thursday. LeSean McCoy's early Monday touchdown pushed Champ ahead in the game and back into playoff position. Legadu Blount (15.50) led a very balanced effort for Brent.

MVP: Matt Ryan. Just think of how good he'll be after he loses his virginity.

Least VP: I'm starting to hate this category. Joel Dreesen (-0.50) I guess? Reggie Wayne's 2.50 probably hurts more when you weigh in expectations.

What it means haiku: Champ back in playoffs. JR continues rebuild. Poor guy, Joel Dreessen.

==================

MANNING VS. BRADY!!!

Awkward Emoticons (7-3): 130.25
Stranger in the Alps (4-6): 88.50

What happened: Peyton Manning would have had more opportunities to score had he been playing on the Colts defense against Carson Palmer. As is, he was completely outshone by Tom Brady (38.25 to 8.00) and that pretty much decided things. Brandon Lloyd (19.00) and Dez Bryant (12.50) cover for the very mediocre RB output for Drew. Dwayne Bowe and Randy Moss combined for 29 points for Eli, Bowe accounting for 27.50 of them.

MVP: Brady. HEY HAVE YOU GUYS NOTICED HE HAS LONG HAIR THIS YEAR?

Least VP: Kathy Brockdorf. Because I saw her exact look-alike at a gay bar I was at on Friday.

What it means haiku: Very good score Drew. Loses slight edge in tiebreak. Eli glad to lose?

==================

MOST TOTAL POINTS!!!

Marty Booker (7-3): 168.50
Cover Tooth (4-6): 106.00

What happened: Schillinger had a very good week all around, putting up the highest total in the league so far. Chris and Andre Johnson scored 17.50 each, and that tied them for 5th highest score in the Marty Booker lineup. Roddy White (24.00) and Knowshon Moreno (19.50) had outstanding games for Cover Tooth.

MVP: The Jaguar Hail Mary. With zero seconds on the clock, Schillinger got a double touchdown by way of the 50-yard miracle completion from David Garrard (27.00) to Mike Thomas (18.00).

Least VP: Kevin Burnett, some asshole defender who couldn't even be bothered to play this week. Also probably Kyle Orton and his 34.50 bench points.

What it means haiku: Tough week for Adam. Super high score for Edwin. Sure I'll suck next week.

==================

NO SUCKAGE THIS WEEK!!!

1-800-222-1222 (3-7): 159.00
Let My Monkeys Go (5-5): 96.50

What happened: Baron got a handful of double digit performances before the Roethlisberger (30.50) to Mike Wallace (22.50) explosion on Sunday Night. That propelled him to the 2nd highest VUFSA tally this season. Jamaal Charles (16.50) and Eli Manning (22.50) led the way for Andy. WAIT HOLY SHIT BARON IS FOURTH IN TOTAL POINTS NOW?

MVP: Jared Allen, who registered his fifth sack of the season and is now on pace for almost ten!

Least VP: Who cares. Whoever had the fewest points. Tony Moeaki and Jordan Shipley can flip a coin, they each had less than two.

What it means haiku: Andy falls to sixth. Baron stuck in the cellar? Not so fast my friend!

==================