Pick Up Men

Well, while I'm at it, how about the top waiver wire/free agent pick ups of the season thus far?

15. Jose Contreras (Andy Viano), April 12. Numbers that are very high quality, though if he starts the All-Star game over Johan Santana, I will personally call Ozzie Guillen out on Flotsam. I'm sure this will bring about his immediate demise.

14. Brad Hawpe (Andrew Stem), April 13. A consistent slugger who reaches at better than .400 and has a solid 15 homers and 48 RBIs, Hawpe was pawned off for saves by Stem when he acquired Chad Cordero from Tadano's Fluffer.

13. Joel Zumaya (Lincoln Souzek), June 2. More of a keeper-value-type choice here, with Todd Jones struggling (but still getting the saves) in Detroit and Zumaya throwing triple digits like it's easy. He could wind up as a keeper, even if he doesn't boast ultimate value this season.

12. Garrett Atkins (Brent Whitlock), April 8. Atkins has stepped up his game in Colorado, joining the 50-50 club in runs and RBIs at the midway point.

11. Josh Johnson (Lincoln Souzek), May 30. It isn't as sexy a pickup as most, and it came late in the year after the stats were apparent, but Johnson was fluttering under the radar until Lincoln grabbed ahold. Quietly, he's having a superb rookie season, with 7 wins and a 2.34 ERA.

10. Nomar Garciaparra (Dave Tomke), April 13. Reaching at a .429 clip and standing as the second-best hitter in the National League, Garciaparra will probably have 50 runs and 50 RBIs at the All-Star break, even if his 10 home runs is weak for a first baseman.

9. Brad Penny (Andy Viano), April 5. Nine wins and a 2.94 ERA are quite nice features for a player that figured to be a serious injury risk before the season. Kudos for Viano for taking the risk.

8. Bronson Arroyo (Lincoln Souzek), April 22. Enjoying a renaissance season in Cincinnati, the sparkly-haired one has nine wins and an ERA in the 2.60 territory, with a WHIP of 1.12. He was a key part of a deal that brought Jason Isringhausen over from ELENI KAMETAS.

7. Tom Glavine (Ed Schillinger), April 10. Eleven wins and a 3.34 ERA is quite a bit better than even the most optimistic of projections for the old fart. He was moved to Baron along with an entire village of pitchers for Jason Bay.

6. Carlos Guillen (JR Radcliffe), April 29. About the only good move I've made all year that wasn't a trade, Guillen is a player with very complete numbers, including 10 homers, 47 runs, 49 RBIs, 10 stolen bases and a .382 OBP.

5. Chris Young (Drew Wolf), June 3. The All-Star hopeful has three wins in the last month and 1.93 ERA, with better than a strikeout per inning and 0.96 WHIP. So far, so good.

4. Justin Verlander (Dave Tomke), April 2 and April 10. Tomke couldn't make up his mind about the young Detroit hurler, but 10 wins and an All-Star season later, there's no doubt that Bondo and the Asians will retain his services.

3. Aaron Harang (Eli Gieryna), March 30. A very good get for Eli, as Harang looked like little more than an above-average pitcher with good strikeout totals for a shit team before the season. Nine wins, 112 strikeouts and 3.65 ERA later, Harang looks like a bona fide steal.

2. Mike Mussina (Brent Whitlock), March 22. Champ made a deft move by acquiring the veteran, whose numbers have been flat out spectacular this season.

1. Jonathan Papelbon (Eli Gieryna), April 6. God I hate this stupid, overrated, one-year wonder, oogled-over piece of shit. But getting 25 saves, a 0.43 ERA and 0.70 WHIP for free doesn't really grow on trees.