"This league happened"

Do you know what is exciting? If you said the VUFSA, you are wrong. That's because the four playoff spots are all but nailed down, with 7-5 ChamPeons (Whitlock) holding a major points lead over .500 teams Taste The Happy (Gieryna) and WhoWantsToSexMbaye (Viano) with two games to go. Champ would have to lose both of his remaining games -- coming against The Hulkamaniacs (Wolf) and Mbaye -- to allow one of those 6-6 teams into the four-team fray. That makes his meeting against Mbaye this week absolutely pivotal.

Eliminated teams include Which Bear Is Best (Radcliffe), Madd Skillz (Schillinger), Slick (Hansen) and What's New Pussycat (Brendel). It's a humbling reality for Schillinger and Radcliffe, qualifiers for the playoffs in each of the preceding VUFSA football seasons.

Thom Is A Man-Whore (Stem) and Wolf have locked up playoff spots officially and find themselves jockeying for first place overall, though Wolf's remaining schedule (Romo's 18-Inch Dong, ChamPeons) is far tougher than Stem's (What's New Pussycat, Slick). I'm going on a limb and saying Stem will be our top seed. Dong (Tomke) essentially has a spot locked up with an 8-4 record and gargantuan points lead over the two teams that could theoretically tie him in the standings.

So what happened this week? Shut the fuck up and I'll tell you. I'm goddamned Chipper Jones.

Radcliffe 154.25,

Stem 131.75.

I list this one first because it is listed first among all matchups in Yahoo. It really had no bearing, because both teams sort of knew their destination coming in. But that didn't stop Radcliffe, drunk on Heineken, from having a hilariously good week, backed by recent acquisitions Kolby Smith, Antonio Gates and Plaxico Burress. Fred Taylor has been quietly relevant this year and Brett Favre has the third most points of any fantasy player, which is astounding. Only one player (Shaun McDonald, 1 point) screwed the pooch.

It's not like Stem had a down week, especially from Larry Fitzgerald (24) and even Tom Brady (22.5) after a slow start. Two of his defenders cleared 10 points, however, which is the only reason this matchup was close. Eat it, Stem.

Viano 111.5,

Tomke 84.25.

Speaking of upsets, Viano kept his playoff hopes alive with a big win over Tomke and his Dong. New guy Clinton Portis (3.5) did not look as good as the players he was traded for, but then again, neither did anyone else. Only Donald Driver (12) and Chester Taylor (14) had double-digit performances in support of Tony Romo (17.25) and his Thanksgiving pillage.

Viano got some help from old reliable Peyton Manning (25.50) while he plucked some Falcon feathers on Turkey day, and Greg Jennings (17.50) was one of three others with double digits. Javon Walker going scoreless winds up not affecting the outcome. Viano could probably use a good receiver. Ouch on Cedric Benson.

Hansen 132.0,

Schillinger 100.50.

As if God hasn't hated Schillinger enough this year, a loss to the relocated franchise might be the final straw. A great performance from former Skillzian Chad Johnson (29) proves to be the largest blow, though double digits came from nearly everywhere, including from losers Deion Branch, Earnest Graham, Chris Cooley, Jason Elam and Jay Cutler.

Ed needs a hug. Receivers combine for 18 points, and I'm including the flex receiver. The running back situation, with a backup Vernand Morency getting a special teams tackle to prevent the zero, is even more dire despite the presence of LDT (12) and Steven Jackson (16.5). Ed will be back in contention next year thanks to a keeper brigade that also includes Andre Johnson, Ronnie Brown and Donald McNabb, but it has clearly not been his year.

Wolf 122.0,

Brendel 98.5.

A charming week for Wolf, who remains in the hunt for the top overall seed in the playoffs. Ryan Grant explodes for 20 points and each of the three receivers gets double digits. Laurence Maroney, Grant, Maurice Morris and injured Brandon Jacobs and Marshawn Lynch have to be the least-feared running back collection in VUFSA playoff history, but a lot of those guys will be part of stretch runs for playoff teams.

Frank Gore finally did something, splooging everywhere for 32.50 points. Carson Palmer had a nice day (28) and even Roddy White (14) got involved. And still, Baron did not get 100 points. Leon Washington going negatives, Donald Lee doing nothing and LenDale White doing basically nothing had a lot to do with it. Also, Baron and Santana Moss have done a lot of fucking lately.

Whitlock 131.75,

Gieryna 94.

Again, Eli Gieryna is likely to miss the VUFSA playoffs. Goddamn. Jamal Lewis and Kellen Winslow have respectable days, but it's never okay when the Browns are leading your fantasy charge, I don't care how well they've done this year. Everyone else blew substantial goats.

Meanwhile. Champ has won six in a row and gone from doormat to exceptional team with an upper-hand on a playoff bid. Brian Westbrook, Justin Fargas, Drew Brees, Reuben Droughns, kicker Nick Folk, Joe Addai and Terrell Owens all went for double digits. This team looks more incredible with every passing week. Good work. Everyone hates you.