Week 11 Recap: Help Wanted

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Romo's 18 Inch Dong: 165.50 (8-3)
Taste the Happy: 111.00 (6-5)

Tomke has strung together a tidy 3 game win streak in snapping Eli's 4 game row of victories. What was a close contest got out of hand once Randy Moss took the field, catching 12 touchdowns. REID remains within striking distance of a regular season title with games against teams with losing records in 2 of the last 3 contests. TTH slipped into a tie for fourth place with the surging ChamPeons against whom Eli faces next week.

Romo's 18 Inch Dong: 3 players scored over 30 points with Romo (31.50), Moss (35.0), and Chester Taylor (33.50) kicking butt. 3 players scored exactly 10 points - Joey Galloway, Reggie Bush, and Antonio Gates. This is an incredibly balanced team with big time play makers. Tomke should cruise into the playoffs.

Taste the Happy: Much like Tomke, Eli received a very balanced attack with 5 double digit scorers and all 3 defenders up over 7 points. However, TTH lacked the explosive performance as TJ Housmandzadeh's team-high 14.50 simply could not keep pace with the ridiculous numbers put up by Romo and Moss. Eli's season may now be on the line with a huge match-up against ChamPeons that could separate him from Champ by a game or sink a game back with tiebreaker issues down the stretch.

Thom Is a Man Whore: 96.50 (9-2)
Madd Skillz: 93.50 (4-7)

Proving that wins are possible without 1 of his 2 superstars, Stem registered his league leading 9th win of the season, putting the nail in the coffin to Edwin's 2007 VUFSA season. Kenny Watson switching sides, Donovan McNabb's passing, and a weird defender quirk all assisted Stem's narrow 3 point victory.

TIAMW: Tom Brady is the MVP of the league. Last year it was LT, a few years ago it was Peyton Manning, and a long ass time ago it was Priest Holmes. Simply, whoever has the MVP can win with that guy putting up huge numbers. Brady is coming seriously close to breaking 50 points. While scoring just short of half of Thom's points, Brady got just enough help from Larry Fitzgerald (14.0), Kenny Watson (10.0), and Jeff Reed (10.0) to secure the victory. Stem's last 3 games come against the bottom 3 teams in the league. While Adrian Peterson may not be necessary to make the playoffs, or even beat these teams, he must be healthy to proceed deep into the VUFSA playoffs.

Madd Skillz: Donovan McNabb's -3.25 performance was the difference between victory and defeat. An injury sidelined the Philly QB before he could score back the points he turnovered (yes, I made that word up) in the early goings. Even with this downfall, 5 double digit scorers kept the game close (Tomlinson, Jackson, Gould, Johnson, and Hackett). Heading into Monday night, Edwin needed a modest defensive performance to secure the victory but some Yahoo thingy that I don't entirely understand prevented him from playing a defender in the Monday night game.

ChamPeons: 128.50 (6-5)
Slick: 114.00 (2-9)

Champ marches on with playoff resolve. Slick's feisty yet win challenged season likewise continued. Champ ties for the final playoff position with the point tiebreaker on his side. A victory against Taste the Happy next week would give Champ, in effect, a two game lead with three to play. Slick would like you to know that despite no longer being on his roster, Jamal Lewis is on the block.

ChamPeons: Similar to the club Tomke has assembled, Champ has a balanced attack with a few big scorers who can propel this team to the next level. This week, TO surged forward with a 36.50 effort. No skill player registered fewer than 4 points, and Joe Addai and Brian Westbrook took care of business with steady days, 16.0 and 14.5 respectively. The only real weakness could come at the flex spot if Larry Johnson returns, rendering Priest Holmes to the bench. Champ has a slew of average wide receivers that he could plug into the spot, but one more injury could create a significant hole.

Slick: The team cracked 100 points for the fourth time this season, which given the empty plate served to start the season really isn't all that bad. Ray Lewis had a monster game from the defensive side (19.0), and Jay Cutler looked like an NFL quarterback Monday night for a very nice 20.0. Looking to next season, Ladell Betts, Marion Barber, and DeAngelo Williams need to break free of their shared carry situations, but if they do, might prove a nice nucleus heading into 2008.

The Hulkamaniacs: 106.75 (8-3)
WhoWantsToSexMbaye?: 80.25 (5-6)

Team Red and Yellow managed another victory without overwhelming numbers, in continuing to alternate wins and losses since week 5. Perhaps even more impressive, Viano has alternated wins and losses since week 3.

The Hulkamaniacs: Slow and steady wins the race for the old warriors. Just one skill player was below 5 points (Lavernaeus Coles) and yet only one was above 15 (Matt Hasselbeck). Guys with a lot of touches didn't find the end zone - Braylon Edwards 8 catches, Jason Witten 7 catches, Marques Colston 9 catches, Ryan Grant 20 carries. Guys with few touches did score touchdowns - Brandon Jacobs 54 yards rushing, Laurence Maroney 19 yards rushing. Odd. 2 of the last 3 games come against playoff hopefuls for The Hulkamanaics who are banking that 8 games is enough to qualify for the postseason.

WhoWantsToSexMbaye?: Not a pretty week for Viano's squad. Peyton offered only 4 points to the effort. Greg Jennings (11.5) and Willis McGahee (18.0) had productive weeks and Cedric Benson had a productive run (14.5). However, Kevin Walter, Dallas Clark, and Jerious Norwood all were below 3 points. Viano would have to win out to have a shot at the playoffs, but with games against Champ and Tomke, I suppose it's possible if not horribly unlikely.

What's New Pussycat?: 94.0 (3-8)
Which Bear is Best?: 78.0 (4-7)

This game happened.