Very quietly, the Minnesota Twins had one of the most remarkable comebacks of the year last night and nary an ESPN viewer would be aware of it. After filtering through hockey and basketball playoffs, we have practically every other ball game's highlights (more Cubs and Mets please!) before 60 seconds worth of highlights are revealed, buried 41 minutes into Sportscenter. Even the ESPN write-up of the game featured a lead and a headline concerning a meaningless Royals' outfielder. Never mind being down to your last out down 5 runs, we need more Chicago and New York heroics and/or frustrated comments! Craig Monroe and Justin Morneau battered Kansas City pitching bringing the Twins all the way back to an extra inning win. Screw Jose Guillen, Fernando Tatis, and Alfonso Soriano. Minnesota rocks!
1. Big name outfielders
Gary Sheffield, Andruw Jones, and Brad Hawpe all departed VUFSA rosters this week. Sheffield managed all of three games for The M.B.A.s (3 RBIs!) before injuring himself again. Jones got in 75 at bats for Fukkake contributing 1 homer, 3 RBIs, and a .275 OBP. Finally, Hawpe's hammy has him out of the Harangutans line-up. In 114 at bats, Hawpe had a very symmetrical 12 runs, 2 homers and 12 RBIs.
2. Welcome home Andrew Miller
In the May 1st edition of Transaction Time, I wrote about Tomke cutting Andrew Miller whose ERA and WHIP had ballooned to 9.12 and 2.38, respectively. Those numbers are heading in the right direction and are now down to 5.53 and 1.68 and has earned Miller a return trip to Bondo and the Asians' pitching staff.
3. Jay Bruce
Baron, ever the Cincinnati enthusiast, was all over word that super prospect Jay Bruce was on his way to the majors. May 23rd came and the Reds' savior was added and has since helped out Baron with a couple RBIs, stolen bases, and an .800 OBP, and this is a run-on sentence.
4. Salomon Torres
Drew snagged the Brewers' closer du jour after barfing all over the Eric Gagne thrill ride. After signing Torres, The M.B.A.s promptly had him on the bench for a couple saves and a win. Expert managing.
5. Bartolo Colon
Remember when someone in the VUFSA kept Colon? Remember when he won the Cy Young? Those days seemingly long gone...but alas! The smelly one reemerges in our beloved league with Leggy Blonde after a couple nice starts with Boston. So far so good for Colon who has allowed just three earned runs and three walks in 12 innings and 2 wins worth of work.
6. Manny Acosta, Ryan Zimmerman, and an 8th round 2009 draft pick for Joe Nathan
Welty looks to 2009 in this deal with a couple young players and a draft pick. Acosta may very well be the Braves closer next year (who knows) and has been decent this year. Ryan Zimmerman was supposed to be Mr. Baseball but has burned owners the last two years who used early draft picks to scoop up the slow starting Nationals' third baseman. He may finally mature into the player he has the potential to be, but a .291 OBP is horrific for a second round pick.
Wolf looks to the present securing a top flight closer to take the bullpen spot of the Acosta/Torres platoon. John Smoltz's seemingly inevitable return to the closer position limits Acosta's immediate value. ERA, WHIP, and K's should all be better with Natahn but best of all, the roster spot Zimmerman was wasting (Ryan Braun at 3rd) is finally freed up. Wolf was so excited that he rushed out to grab absolutely no one, hating all present options.
7. Brian McCann for Chris Young, his nose, and a 6th round 2009 draft pick
Tomke has become the farm club for Eli, and McCann is promoted to the majors this week. Bondo and the Asians is out of contention and is looking to remake the roster for 2009. While I highly doubt Chris Young is a part of it, the 6th rounder will be nice to have.
The number one team in the league now has the number one catcher in Yahoo. McCann has .383 OBP, 9 homers, and 32 RBIS, all of which are an upgrade from the Chris Iannetta era.
8. Matt Garza
Garza is shaping up to be the Frank Gore of the baseball season. How many teams can he play for in one year? This waiver wire slut is doing his best to guarantee a non-existent VUFSA championship ring.
13 comments:
I acquired Matt Garza simply for his Yahoo! profile picture.
Fair enough.
*cough* clayton kershaw *cough*
Kershaw was the one I wanted to pick up with my free roster spot. I missed you having picked him up earlier in the week. So, there is that.
9. Clayton Kershaw
Welty picks up Clayton Kershaw, who has a great curveball, a 97-mph fastball and wears cowboy boots all the time. Possibly gay.
I ended up partying at a gay bar last night. Let me tell you, gay dudes are great wingmen. Our neighbors are both gay, and one of them works at Rumors, the gay bar that is basically downstairs from where I live.
On a side note, it is entirely acceptable to go shirtless at a gay bar. I learned this yesterday night.
So anyway, I had been drinking while watching the Wings and was in the bag. Anyway, I left the HopCat (not a gay bar) and was walking home when I ran into my neighbor, who invited me to Rumors for a nightcap. Being in my state of mind, I accepted and immediately started trying to pick up girls. While there was no way that this was happening, the neighbor worked extremely hard to get these girls to go home with me. It was awesome.
All of that came from Clayton Kershaw's boots.
-Tomke
Thanks Tomke. After that story, never try to correct my metal knowledge again. Its not that you wern't right, but that a dude who parties at gay clubs knows more about metal than I.
I carved "Slayer" into my arm because I love the band. I lit it on fire because I wanted it to scar. SLAYER!
-Tomke
(That's from their live dvd).
So, was Clayton Kershaw at the club or not, Tomke?
I thought I recognized the black man standing topless next to Vince Young. Of course, it would be Tomke and his charred self.
Wait, is Clayton Kershaw black?
-Tomke
Not all gay dudes are black.
No, I was referring to Drew's comment about the black dude standing next to Vince Young.
-Tomke
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