Baseball Recap 5.19

After a one-week hiatus, I have returned! I may have missed the only week of the season where I will have been in first by myself, but it matters not because Drew called my "column" "popular." If that's not incentive enough to get up a half hour earlier to pound out a 200 word column, I don't know what is.

T-1. Bob Loblaw (72.5, +8.5)

The biggest gains on the week get credited mostly to Alfonso Soriano, who has been the best player in baseball history since being traded for a couple of Asians. Raised the team three points in runs and moved them up a spot in homers. Soriano pounded seven home runs (more than four VUFSA teams) and drove in 14 runs (just 5 less than Baron). Eli ended up with 20 HRs and 51 RBI for the week. Also gained three points between ERA and WHIP, thanks in part to a shutout by Cole Hamels.


T-1. Fukkake (72.5, +1)

Picked up 1.5 points in saves as the bullpen finally gets things going. Nine saves on the week, led by Jose Valverde's four. Brandon Phillips had a strong week, with eight RBI and a couple of homers.

3. Uncle Phil (64, -5)

Viano's team has lost 16 points since sitting at 80 just three weeks ago. The team lost 2.5 points behind drops in ERA and WHIP, thanks to a correction from Brian Bannister. Dropped two points in stolen bases and a point in home runs, thanks to a pedestrian week from Chase Utley (3/1/3/0/.240)

4. Dr. Jerry (63.5, +2)

Champ gains quietly, sitting just a half point out of the money shot. Took a huge step in OBA, picking up three points, but lost a point in ERA despite the overall number improving. Fausto Carmona's 16 innings of one-run ball gets the bulk of the credit for the ERA improvement. Joakim Soria picked up another three saves despite letting in an earned run for the first time this season.

5. The M.B.A.s (60.5, +8)

Another big gainer because of a tremendous week from Ryan Braun. Eight runs, six homers and ten RBI from Wisconsin's second-favorite retard gave Drew seven points between the three categories. A total of 16 homers would be good for first 98% of the weeks of the year. Lost 2.5 points in saves, but picked up three in ERA/WHIP.

6. Curse of the Veggies (60, +5)

Fluctuations of two or more points in four different categories, and at least some movement in eight of the ten columns. Jimmy Rollins' return (4 sb) boosted the SB spot by 2 points. Ichiro also chipped in four steals to give JR a league-high ten on the week. Picked up three points in OBA and 2.5 in runs, as Dan Uggla on-based .615 (!) and scored seven times. Lost ground in the power categories, with a league-low five HRs.

7. Hank White (51.5, -1.5)

Poor Stem sits in seventh with no one within eight points of him, in a little bubble isolated from the world. Lost a serious three points in runs scored, but that was the only major loss. Adam Dunn found his power this week (despite Dusty Baker's best efforts) with four homers and nine RBI. Nate McLouth keeps doing his thing, three more homers and six runs scored. Also, Ryan Dempster struck out 12 men in 8.1 shutout innings. What the fuck is going on there?

8. Harangutans (39, -12.5)

Huge drop this week for Baron. Lost 3.5 points in OBA and 2.5 in runs. The pitching ratios cost him 4.5 points. A major slump from Derrek Lee is what's hurting the offense, but really Ryan Ludwick (5/3/5/.440) is the only one who gave a damn last week. Awful starts from Aaron Cook, Ian Snell, Greg Maddux and Roy Oswalt (now with groin problems!) raise the team ERA nearly two tenths. Oh, and the comatose team behind them is awake and just 3.5 off the pace. A rough go for a very talented roster.

9. Leggy Blonde (35.5, +3)

Welcome to the VUFSA's newest owner, Adam Welty. His reclamation project began yesterday, with a flurry of moves and DL'd pitchers. The franchise made a gain last week thanks again to Lance Berkman (8/4/8/2/.548) and another good week from Albert Pujols. The pitching was strong outside of Brett Myers. I fully expect Leggy Blonde to get no fewer than five trade offers this week, hopefully livening things up around here.

10. Bondo and the Asians (31, -8.5)

Big falls in runs (-4) and home runs (-2) hurt the team which has lost 14.5 points over two weeks. Brian McCann did drive in nine runs while Kaz Matsui stole three bases. Randy Johnson picked up two wins on the week, with a very good 3.00 ERA to go along with them.