Week 13 in Review

The next-to-last week of the regular season is over, and now the playoff scenarios are much clearer. Two playoff spots have been clinched (Champ and myself), while four others (Drew, Eli, Baron and JR) have a chance to claim the final two spots (although given that the first tiebreaker is total points scored, it looks like it will be awfully tough for Baron or JR to jump up even with a win--they both need wins, and they both need to score many, many points). Week 13 saw Philip Rivers have his best game of the year (and finish one or two completions short of giving Ed his second win of the season). Baron's team exploded for 152.00 (as previously mentioned, he could use another week like that in Week 14), and Eli tallied 141.75. Champ won by 1.5, while Baron won by 52. Drew won his third-straight to seemingly clinch a playoff berth. Welty remained winless since he changed his team's name. On with the show.
ChamPeons 105.75-Bobby Engram 104.25
If Rivers and Chris Johnson had faced Drew Brees and LeSean McCoy in some sort of hybrid two-on-two fantasy game, it would have been Edwin who won by 1.5 (56.00-54.50). Ed almost brought the Thunder, but Norv Turner decided to take pity on the Jaguars and sat Rivers for most of the fourth quarter. Chris Johnson's resurgence continued as he outscored McCoy 27.50-24.00. David Akers made four field goals and outscored Beanie Wells 14.00-12.50. Beyond that, there were not many noteworthy performances on either side. Champ won in spite of having four players score 1.00 or fewer. Ed had a chance to spring what would probably have been the upset of the year, and his team just couldn't quite do it. Playoff Implications: With the win, Champ clinched a playoff spot and due to a 34.00-point lead in total points scored, has the inside track to the top-seed in the playoffs.
C (9-4): Brees (30.50) tossed three touchdowns and had 342 yards passing against the Lions. McCoy (24.00) had 133 total yards of offense and scored both of Philadelphia's touchdowns. To be honest, he was the only guy on the Eagles who look like he cared at all about winning. Akers made four field goals, and Victor Cruz caught seven passes for 119 yards (8.50). It was not all good news for Champ though. Matt Forte was lost to a sprained MCL after scoring 1.00 (and will miss at least the first week of the VUFSA playoffs if not the rest of the year). Fred Davis has been suspended for the rest of the season due to a violation of some sort (it escapes me which kind an I'm too lazy to look it up). LeGarrette Blount only had 19 yards rushing (1.00), Patrick Willis hurt himself and did not score, and Brian Urlacher only managed two tackles for 1.00 (although that number is sure to be much higher against Tim Tebow this week). MVP: Brees. It could be McCoy for actually still caring, but Brees torched the Lions and just slightly edges out McCoy. LVP: Blount. Forte gets a pass for the injury, but this was probably Blount's most disappointing performance of the season. He has been a solid fantasy option all year, but it has to be a little concerning that he could only manage 1.00 against Carolina.
BE (1-12): Since I go out of my way to rip on Rivers when he's bad, I should give him his due this week. He was outstanding (294 yards passing, three touchdowns and zero turnovers) against the Jaguars. Again, Norv Turner probably cost Ed his second win of the year. I'm not completely sure on the numbers, but he might have gotten enough if he completed one more pass for six yards. If I'm wrong, correct me in the comments. Chris Johnson had 153 yards rushing and two scores (27.50), reminding everyone why he was slated to be one of the top fantasy backs this season. Wells (12.50) finished with 73 total yards and a score. Daniel Thomas rushed for 73 yards (7.00). Much like Champ, this was basically the extend of Ed's offense. MVP: Johnson. I know Rivers was awesome (and I should be nice to him for at least one week), but not only did CJ2K put together back-to-back solid weeks, but he also gives Ed some optimism headed into the 2012 campaign. LVP: Early Doucet. Doucet caught two passes for zero yards. It's a credit to him that he still managed to score 1.50, but that's just sad.
Pantry Cereals 110.50-Phil Powell Rules 91.00
For the second time this season, Aaron Rodgers out-Bradied Tom Brady in a match-up between the two quarterbacks, but this time, the rest of Drew's roster did enough get the victory and move Drew's winning streak to three in a row. Ray Rice > Roy Helu by a matter of 10.00 (27.00-17.00). Drew had four players score at least 10.50, while the Fightin' Phil Powells got a combined 55.00 from Rodgers and Helu with the next best total being 6.00 from Calvin Johnson. It was both feast and famine for PPR. Toby Gerhart put up 15.00 for Drew while Adrian Peterson missed his second-straight game. Playoff Implications: The win all but clinched a playoff spot for Drew. It would take a loss in which he only scored about 30 points (or a 200-point effort from either Baron or JR) to keep Drew out of the playoffs. In spite of the loss, PPR clinched a playoff spot. A first round win wouldn't asking for too much, would it?
PC (8-5): If you had told me before the week started that Brady and Wes Welker could combine for fewer points that Rodgers scored by himself, I would have felt very good about things. This is exactly what happened, but my optimism would have been unfounded. Mostly because of Ray Rice. Brady threw for 289 yards and two scores (24.25) and Welker caught 10 passes for 110 yards but stayed out of the end zone (10.50). John Harbaugh realized the error of his ways from earlier in the season (and caused Terrell Suggs to rejoice I'm sure) and just kept giving the ball to Rice. The former Rutgers star carried a career-high 29 times for 204 yards and a touchdown (27.00). Gerhart didn't score a touchdown, but he did finish with 133 total yards of offense (15.00). Lance Moore (8.00) only caught two passes, but one of them went for a touchdown. MVP: Rice. Over the last few years, it is a rare occurrence when Brady is outscored by someone on his own team. Rice did that this week, and receives this honor because of it. LVP: Torrey Smith. Baltimore's focus on running the ball was great for Rice, but it did mess up the Ravens' passing game. Smith managed just one catch for 32 yards (1.50).
PPR (9-4): Rodgers and Helu were awesome. Everyone else....not so much. Rodgers (38.00) finished with 401 total yards and four touchdowns. He would have passed the 40-point mark if he had not thrown an interception. In his second start of the season, Helu made Mike Shanahan look like a genius (or perhaps an idiot for not starting him all year) by putting up 142 total yards and a score (17.00). It was a bunch of dreck other than that. No other player in the lineup found the end zone, and Megatron's 6.00 was the next highest point total. I suppose there's something to be said for everyone else being awful at the same time. MVP: Rodgers. This does not require any additional explanation. Just give him the MVP now. LVP: Brandon Lloyd. James Starks and his 0.00 get a pass because of injury, but Lloyd only managed one catch for 32 yards (1.50). I know Sam Bradford didn't play, but that's still not good enough from a top-flight receiver.
Let My Monkeys Go 120.75-Who is Ron Mexico 96.00
Viano gets back to within one game of .500 by having six players score at least 11.00. Tomke could only manage three above 10.50. Dave also had three guys put up 0.00, which generally doesn't bode well. Pierre Garcon awoke from his season-long slumber to catch a couple of touchdown passes (he must like Dan Orlovsky--Dr. Lovsky!!!--a whole lot more than he likes Curtis Painter). Willis McGahee and Ryan Mathews combined for 33.00, while Carson Palmer had a decent showing (19.00) in what was otherwise a dreadful day for the Raiders. MJD had a big day on Monday night (he leads the AFC in rushing you know) to make this respectable. Matthew Stafford was okay and Roddy White found the end zone again. Not much for Dave other than that in what has been a very frustrating year for him, I'm sure. Playoff Implications: In spite of Viano's chance to get to 7-7 this week, both players were eliminated from playoff contention.
LMMG (6-7): We finally had a Pierre Garcon sighting. He caught nine passes for 150 yards and two touchdowns (23.50). Garcon has scored 97.00 through 12 games, so nearly 1/4 of his point total came in Week 13. Sadly, this is a little too late for Viano. Vincent Jackson and A.J. Green each had touchdown catches (25.50). Mathews had 112 yards rushing and a score (18.50), and McGahee added 111 rushing yards and a score (14.00). MVP: Garcon. This was an absolutely stud-like effort, undoubtedly causing Viano to wonder where this type of production has been all year. LVP: Anquan Boldin. Just like Torrey Smith earlier, this is another instance of a Baltimore receiver suffering from Ray Rice getting so many carries. Boldin managed just two catches for 32 yards (2.00).
WIRM (6-7): Not that it matters, but Tomke would have scored three more points if Jason Garrett weren't an idiot. Dan Bailey (8.00) would have made another field goal if Garrett hadn't called a time out right as he was kicking it. MJD (22.00) had 188 total yards and a touchdown. At least someone cared about looking good on Monday night. Stafford threw for 408 yards but only managed one touchdown (18.75). White caught four passes for 51 yards and a touchdown (10.50). Miles Austin did not play, and Andre Johnson (6.00) got hurt during the game. Jimmy Graham continued to be awesome with eight catches for 89 yards (8.00), but he was seemingly the only New Orleans wide out who didn't find the end zone against the Lions. MVP: MJD. He has been a shining beacon in what has otherwise been a disastrous season in Jacksonville. LVP: Plaxico Burress. A week after being mocked by Stevie Johnson, Burress had only three catches for 33 yards (2.50).
Dexter McClusterfunk 141.75-Shellden Conch 94.50
Eli also moved within striking distance of clinching a playoff spot. Much like Drew, it will take a really poor performance from him or a super-duper effort from Baron or JR to keep him out. Given the way Eli's squad performed in Week 13, this seems highly unlikely. Eli had five guys score at least 14.00, including Cam Newton's 37.50. I am officially ready to give Newton Waiver Wire Pick-up of the Year. (I reserve the right to reconsider that if DeMarco Murray absolutely owns people in the playoffs. Just saying). No one has been happier that Kim Kardashian is back on the market than Reggie Bush. He had another solid game. Three guys scored at least twice as much as what Yahoo! predicted they would. Welty got solid days from his Steelers, as Antonio Brown and Rashard Mendenhall combined for 28.00. The Laurent Robinson Express came to a screeching halt, and Jermichael Finley spells funny letters after he scores touchdowns. Playoff Implications: As previously mentioned, Eli is as close to locking up a playoff spot as a person can be who has not yet actually clinched. If he chooses to celebrate this way, the Gun can have the champagne on ice. (Be sure to drink responsibly). Welty has lost three-straight and has guaranteed himself the #2 pick in the 2012 Draft (the anticipation is building already).
DMF (8-5): Newton finished with 285 total yards and four touchdowns. He threw a touchdown pass and ran in three scores (setting a record for touchdown runs by a quarterback). He also caught a pass, but sadly did not score on that play. Marshawn Lynch (26.00) rushed for 148 yards and two scores. He has scored a touchdown in eight straight weeks, which I believe is also a record (but I could be making that up). Hakeem Nicks caught two touchdowns (19.50), and Dez Bryant added another (14.00). The aforementioned Mr. Bush finished with 100 yards rushing and a score. What's even more frightening, is the fact that Eli's team scored almost 142 points and got a combined 9.00 from Steven Jackson, DeSean Jackson and Larry Fitzgerald. The possibilities of this team are absolutely frightening. This could possibly be the year he gets a championship. MVP: Newton. I don't know if he can be the Rookie of the Year on a team that only wins four games, but there's no question he has been the best rookie in fantasy football this year. LVP: S. Jackson. He finished with 30 total yards (1.50) which is understandable against San Francisco, but still disappointing.
SC (4-9): Three 0.00 from starters didn't help Welty's cause. Mendenhall rushed for 60 yards and two scores (18.00). Brown scored a return touchdown and caught two passes for 67 yards (10.00). Andy Dalton only threw for 135 yards and a touchdown (10.75). Finley caught six passes for 87 yards and a score (13.50) and then spelled YOTTO after his touchdown. I have no idea what this means, and I kind of hope I never do. MVP: Mendenhall. The rushing total wasn't very high, but it didn't need to be in a 35-7 win over Cincinnati. LVP: Ryan Torain and Jerome Simpson. Both players were active during Week 13, but neither did anything to register a fantasy point one way or the other.
Waiting for Goodell 152.00-Jamie Looks Hot 100.00
Sweet Jesus, Baron. Bobby Brendel put up the third-largest point total of the season, surpassed only by Tomke's 161.50 in Week 2 and Champ's 155.00 in Week 7. Seven of his nine offensive starters scored at least 10.50. Percy Harvin returned from injury and led the way with 24.00. Rob Gronkowski stole some of Cam Newton's glory, as he also set an NFL record for touchdowns (23.00). Arian Foster had 20.50 in another ho hum afternoon. Shonn Greene (IOWA!!!) had a huge day (28.50) against the Jets, but the rest of JR's offense was sparse. Matt Ryan, Greg Jennings and Santonio Holmes all went over 10.00, but the trio only combined for 34.50. Four players combined for 63 percent of JR's point total. (Don't be impressed with my quick math skills, JR made it easy by scoring 100 on the nose). Playoff Implications: Both teams are still alive to reach the postseason, but as mentioned at least twice before, it will take stellar efforts by both squads and some help as well for either to make the playoffs. Baron has a 25-point lead on JR in total points scored, so he would be first in line (assuming the difference remains the same between the two) for the final spot if Drew or Eli (or both) falter.
WFG (7-6): Baron's team got 10 non-quarterback touchdowns. That is tough to beat. Harvin had 175 total yards and two touchdowns. Gronkowski set a record for touchdowns scored in a season by a tight end. He had three against the Colts (including one rushing). Foster had 152 total yards and a score. Mike Wallace (14.50) caught two scoring passes. Stevie Johnson and Darren Sproles (23.00 combined) each caught touchdown passes. Notice I haven't mentioned his quarterback yet? Ben Roethlisberger threw for 176 yards and two scores (18.75). There's not a lot left to say about his team's effort in Week 13. MVP: Harvin. It usually doesn't mean good things when a wide receiver scores more points than the quarterback. In this case, it was a very, very good thing for Mr. Brendel. LVP: Julio Jones. Only 5.50, Julio? Are you kidding me? If I were Baron, I would cut him out of sheer principle.
JLH (7-6): Greene had 114 total yards and three touchdowns, and I'm sure Champ was very pleased. (He loves his Hawkeyes you know). Jennings and Holmes (23.50 combined) each caught a touchdown pass. Matt Ryan (11.00) was not particularly good (two interceptions) and had Rivers-esque numbers. There isn't much else (good) of note. On the bright side, though, I think that even if JR had used his optimal lineup, he still would have lost. Baron just had one of those days. MVP: Greene. Without extra points, he would have only lost to the Redskins 19-18 if he had been playing by himself. LVP: Brandon Pettigrew and Dustin Keller. JR's tight ends combined to catch five passes for 25 yards (2.50). That's not good enough to get it done in a game like this.
Next Week: The last week of the regular season features an incredibly odd scenario in which the Week 14 match-ups could end up being rematches in the first week of the playoffs. Drew will try to lock up a playoff spot against Champ, while Eli takes on the Fighting Phil Powells. In other action, Baron and JR try to keep their playoff hopes alive against Viano and Welty, respectively. Ed takes on Tomke in an effort to pick up his second win of the year and head into 2012 with some momentum.