Madd Skillz 13-3

Edwin celebrates with Drew peering ominiously over his shoulder. Truly a telling microcosm of Ed's ridicuously successful, celebratory worthy regular season with a dark presence awaiting in the postseason. But let us begin where all recaps should, with the keepers coming into the season.

Now, Madd Skillz has had unprecedented success in VUFSA football. As much as the Bears fan would love to compare himself to the Packers, Ed took the first two championships ala Green Bay in Super Bowl I and II. Not only had Ed won, he had taken steps to ensure a third straight crown. In the waning days of the 2005 season, he sent off Brian Westbrook to Big Fat Guys for Baron's first round selection in 2006 (and really what a problem to have: not enough room for Westbrook on your playoff roster). Thus, Ed would start 2006 with five keepers and two first round picks. Not too shabby.

LaDanian Tomlinson. Phenomenal. 28 TDs rushing. 3 TDs receiving. 2 TDs passing. Single season TD record. 1,815 yards rushing. 56 receptions. He had the greatest fantasy season of all-time. Amazing.

I can't say anything about LDT's season that hasn't already been said. He was great.

Larry Johnson. There are very few scenarios where Larry Johnson is the second best player on a team, but this is one of them. Johnson had a spectacular season lost only because we were all oogling over LT's weekly boost to Edwin's point total. Johnson had 19 touchdowns and only 26 fewer yards rushing than Tomlinson. Herm Edwards' game plan, especially with Trent Green out, consisted of giving LJ the ball every play. It was an effective game plan both for the playoff bound Chiefs and for Madd Skillz, too.

Larry Johnson was another slow starter, but I can't possibly be upset with anything he did. Herm Edwards, who tried to murder him slowly as the season went on, I do have a problem with.

Rudi Johnson. Really lost in this tremendous running back line-up is Rudi Johnson. This is an RB-1 on half the teams in this league and yet he was third best on Madd Skillz. 1,309 yards on the ground and 12 TDs is nothing to scoff at. Yeah, I saw you scoffing.

Rudi Johnson continues to underwhelm me during the season, but I'll look back at his line from the season and wonder why it always feels like he's having a subpar game.

This trio consisted of three of the top eight running backs in Yahoo. Combined, they scored 64 TDs and rush for just under 5,000 yards. Unfreakingreal.

The wide receiver keeper options were really quite good as well.

Chad Johnson. While a wee bit inconsistent fighting for balls that went TJ Houshmandzadeh and Chris Henry's way, Chad still managed to league the league in receiving yards (1,369) while going for 7 TDs.

Chad Johnson was very mediocre until a mid season explosion, but even after that he couldn't be counted on amongst the Bengals tremenous receivers.

Steve Smith. Actually rated higher than Cinco Ocoho by Yahoo. He missed several games due to injury and worse yet, Chris Weinke starts. Regardless, 83 catches for 1,166 yards and 8 TDs is a terrific season line.

Steve Smith was banged up the first two games, and was never really the same as he was last year, but he was still good for seemingly a TD a week whenever Chris Weinke wasn't involved.

Round 1: Antonio Gates
Round 1b: Kevan Barlow
Round 2: Matt Hasselbeck
Round 4: TJ Duckett
Round 4b: Terry Glenn
Round 5: Drew Bledsoe
Round 6: Samkon Gado
Round 7: Brandon Lloyd
Round 8: Brandon Jacobs
Round 9: Kellen Winslow
Round 10: Philip Rivers
Round 11: Mike Vanderjagt
Round 12: Ed Reed
Round 13: John Abraham
Round 14: Wali Lundy

With a superstar group of running backs and wide receivers, Ed used Baron's first rounder to secure the league's best tight end (love those spandex). Antonio Gates started slowly and was on the trading block for half the season, but ended up finding a comfortable home with Edwin's Empire. By the end of the year, his 71 catches and 9 TDs would surpass even bullshit cheater Marques Colston's Yahoo stats for top TE honors.

With the tenth overall pick, Ed grabbed his flex back - Kevan Barlow. Into all of our lives, a little rain must fall and falleth it did in the form of Barlow. With plenty of better backs to go for, Ed passed for a New York Jet. Seriously though, Barlow did nothing to hurt Madd Skillz. He spent four weeks with Ed, getting three starts. In those starts, he scored 4 TDs before he was masterfully dealt with a draft pick for Vikings' running back Chester Taylor.

I went away from my draft board on my very first pick when I drafted Kevan Barlow over Laurence Maroney in the first round. I prepped for a week only to ignore it all and make a legendary screw up.

Entering the second round, Ed had only two positions left to fill in his starting line-up, WR-3 and quarterback. With the latter much more crucial, he made a move with Tice's Partyboat to snag Matt Hasselbeck before The Nihilist Marmot (also without a QB) could. Hasselbeck did modestly as QB having some spectacular weeks and some Spurgeron Wynn-ish efforts. He found himself mired in a QB controversy of sorts with Drew Bledsoe (5th rounder) based on match-ups before Bledsoe eventually lost his job in Dallas, which was about the time a Minnesota (!) player rolled over his leg costing him several weeks due to injury.

For the 3rd straight season, I drafted Matt Hasselbeck only to have him ride the bench for all but 3 weeks of the season.

The rest of the draft had more ups than downs. Ed, probably better than anyone else, snagged late round steals before their potential was realized. Brandon Jacobs in round 8 became a centerpiece in a deal that would later bring Drew Brees aboard. Kellen Winslow in round 9 led all TEs (Colston again included) in receptions, and it wasn't close (by 16). Philip Rivers in round 10 was not used but could be the next Carson Palmer when all is said and done. Ed Reed and John Abraham are two of the better defenders in the league when healthy, and Ed's final pick of Wali Lundy left us all scratching our heads at the time only to find he would be starting in Texas, with the soon to be Domanick Davis-Williams refusing to play any form of professional sports while affiliated with Father Abraham. In all, one of the most well rounded drafts in the league.

My best feeling after the draft came from the RB depth I had stocked: TJ Duckett, Samkon Gado, Wali Lundy and Brandon Jacobs. Duckett was going to get some time in the Washington backfield, Gado (my post-draft favorite) was just one Ahman Green slip up from a starting job, and Lundy already had one. Actually, the backup RB I was least excited about was Brandon Jacobs. None of the first three backs mentioned did a damn thing this season, and the one I tried frantically to trade ended up the best pick of them all. I also was pleased with Philip Rivers and Kellen Winslow in the late rounds, two players I very specifically targeted, though neither would make an impact on my team. I got Antonio Gates too, and he was pretty good too. None of this really matters though, because Barlow invalidates all the work I did.

I feel that this is also an appropriate time to analyze a few of the waiver wire transactions made over the course of the season.

This was the first year that I really felt my work taking away from my ability to get good players off the wire. Maybe everyone was just more attentive this year, or maybe it's the full impact of expansion, but I didn't pluck one meaningful offensive player off the free agent heap this season. I did build an exceptional K/D group off the wire, getting Robbie Gould, Adrian Wilson and London Fletcher-Gieryna during their bye weeks.

Oh, you understate, Edwin! You left out a couple transactions, didn't you? While he made 36 moves, I think 2 of them are worth noting. On October 8th, Ed picked up Joey Harrington. We all know how Ed's season ended. I think that the cancer that is Joey Harrington cannot be underestimated in his eventual falling. Sure Harrington never played a snap for Madd Skillz and in fact was only on the roster for just over four hours (10:15AM-3:08PM), I fully blame Harrington. Perhaps sensing the bad karma, Ed made another waiver pick up a month later on Novemeber 7th. Jerome Bettis, a fat retired broadcaster, was signed as a publicity stunt to bring Earl-esque happy karma aboard. Not even The Bus, though, would do enough to offset the disastrous four hours that composed The Joey Harrington Era.

Alright, with that off my chest, I'm going to back to my overall theme that this is the best fantasy football team ever assembled only to have something utterly unthinkable happen at the end.

So with the best group of running backs, the top tight end, and arguably the best draft in the league, Madd Skillz looked poised for a three-peat. An indeed, they positioned themselves for just that winning the first five games. Included in those victories were two over eventual playoff opponents Tice's Partyboat and The Nihilist Marmot. Perhaps scariest of all were some of the point totals. In those five wins, two of them didn't crack 100 points and two more didn't top 120. The Empire was just warming up, and yet they were still winning.

Week 6 would be the one regular season blemish on Ed's otherwise overwhelmingly successful run. The Slumpbusters would hand Madd Skillz their lone loss in an unprecedented 187.25-160.50 slugfest. It took a record number of points to beat Ed, who managed the most points of any loser ever. Individually, LT went for a mere 37.50 and Joe Horn 20.00 in the loss. By the way, Hasselbeck was on the bench with a 29.75 with Brandon Jacobs beside him with an 11.50. Who scores 160+ and still has better options on the bench? Crazy shit there.

In week 7, the first dents appeared in the armor. The platooning QB situation of Hasselbeck-Bledsoe rapidly fell apart. As mentioned, Hasselbeck went out injured and Bledsoe watched Romo-mania run wild, brother! Just like that, Edwin found himself without a quarterback. What he did find was a desparate owner who was building for next season and was willing to move his keeper, Drew Brees. After a series of mammoth long e-mail negotiations, Ed and I hacked out one of the biggest blockbuster deals of the year.

To Madd Skillz:
Drew Brees
Lance Briggs
Drew's 9th rounder in 2007

To Tice's Partyboat:
Brandon Jacobs
Kellen Winslow
Michael Pittman (?)
Ed's 6th rounder in 2007

To get Brees, Ed traded away his depth at two key positions, but he lost no starters, keeping the juggernaut in tact. Brees had played well enough to warrant his keepership for Tice's Partyboat, but it was not until he gelled with the offensive weapons found on Madd Skillz that he found his true stride.

Week 8: 21.00 points
Week 9: 30.00 points
Week 10: 21.75 points
Week 11: 22.25 points
Week 12: 23.25 points
Week 13: 14.25 points
Week 14: 43.50 points

Not too bad when, again, considering it cost Ed 0 starters.

Can I just call it "from week 8 on?" After losing both of my QBs in week 7, I pulled the trigger on the Brees/Brandon masterpeice and the team took off with Drew at the helm, topping 170 in 5 of the 7 succeeding weeks, and bottoming out at 131.00. (the league average was 105.) It was during that stretch that Madd Skillz peaked way too early and lead to an early playoff exit, which is pretty key.

After the week 6 bump against The Slumpbusters it was back to business for MS. They would not lose again in the regular season going a perfect 8-0 the rest of the way, including two more victories over future playoff opponents Tice's Partyboat and The Nihilist Marmot. But these were not just wins, they were dominations. The lowest score during this 8 game stretch came during week 13 when the team "dipped" all the way down to 131.00. In 5 of those wins, Ed was up over 170 points. 1 freaking 70, people. This is a league where cracking triple digits is considered a good week. The 2,032 total points is a league wide record, where no other team managed a top 10 year. He averaged 145 per week, which is 40 more than the rest of the league's average and, oh yeah, only two teams all season managed 140 points in any one week (Eli's week 6 outburst as was mentioned and Champ in week 12 versus Baron). To top it off, MS won two games by 90. Yes, 90. He knocked off Cellar Dwellers 172.75-80.75 (92 difference) in week 8. The other opponent? Week 10, 176.75-83.25 (93.5 difference) against Tice's Partyboat.

The greatest team ever assembled rolled, coasted, cruised, sailed, napped its way into the playoffs. The 1-4 game saw Madd Skillz take on the aforementioned Partyboat who it mutilated a month prior. In fact, in the two match ups during the regular season, Partyboat's two games combined would not have been enough to defeat Madd Skillz week 10. Ed had proven himself 118.75 better than I, cumulative in the two match-ups. For an upset to happen, absolutely everything right would have to go TP's way and everything wrong would have to go MS's way. After all, Yahoo had Madd Skillz as a 52 point favorite, and even the usually more accurate ES-EG ratings system had the game at a comfortable +22 margin. What could go wrong?

For starters, a Thursday night game that saw the Atlanta Falcons take on the Dallas Cowboys. Both TP and MS had one player going on this evening. Terry Glenn put up an average score of 6.50, but Michael Vick the inconsistent TP QB had his highest effort of the year, 37.00 (3 of which came on a fumble recovery). A slow start for Madd Skillz but certainly not one his all-star line-up would not be able to overcome once Sunday rolled around.

But then scores began rolling in and everyone was having their worst week at the same time. Drew Brees whose awesome numbers have already been outlined phoned in a 6.25, 0 TD game. Steve Smith suffered through a 5 catch, 4.50 performance. Chad Johnson offered a measly 2.50. Chester Taylor back from an injury couldn't find running room against the nasty New York Jets defense, squeaking out 38 yards rushing (3.00 points). Rudi Johnson had his usual 14.00 point week, but in a week where everyone else was struggling, it was looking to be too little.

All was not lost, however, as the big guns were set to play Sunday night in a huge Kansas City-San Diego showdown where Ed would send his league leading tight end and the two best running backs in the VUFSA. Those three could make up any defecit on good weeks. LaDanian Tomlinson did his very best rushing for 199 yards and 2 TDs in a typical 31.50 outburst. However, all the touches Tomlinson received meant Antonio Gates was a non-factor catching 1 ball for 7 yards in Philip Rivers' worst outing of the year. Larry Johnson could only muster 84 yards on the ground, and most critically, no scores. Final tally? A 10 week low of 106.00 points. Vick's 37 Thursday night and Maurice Jones-Drew's solid Sunday (18.50) would lead Tice's Partyboat highest point total of the season, 142.50. The end result was the biggest VUFSA shocker ever: 142.50-106.00.

How nuts was this win? It brought Jon Clayton back to the VUFSA board to offer playoff analysis after a Peruvian vacation that made the initial Minnesota Partyboat seem like an 8 year-old's birthday party.

I heard you've got a championship shindig this weekend, so I wanted to burst in here and give my two cents worth on what will definitively happen. Obviously, Madd Skillz will demolish you all and win his third consecutive football title.
....
What? Are you serious?
What the fuck?
Well, there goes my scouting report.

You know it's a big deal if it catches Clayton off-guard. Stunned and saddened, Madd Skillz fell into the consolation game. In it, the top seeded MS found themselves up against the two seed, The Nihilist Marmot, who was also upset in first round action. While MS fielded a team, their heart was never there having had it crushed the week before. Owner and coach Ed Schillinger wasn't even at the game, instead wandering the aisles of a nearby Walgreens with only a grey management smock on, mumbling the words to Feliz Navidad.

Obviously affected by the lack of leadership, Steve Smith didn't do a damn thing, putting up a goose egg. Chad Johnson outdid even that going negative (-0.50). That gave the keeper duo a combined 6.50 points in two playoff games. Eesh. Terry Glenn stumbled across a single point (half of which was the always popular, "tackle solo"). Antonio Gates and Chester Taylor continued their playoff push with single digit efforts. Drew Brees decided to watch his former team in the title game instead of playing for his current one (11.25). Even LaDanian Tomlinson underachieved stating he was tired of carrying these bastards, contributing a modest 12.50.

All totaled, the squad came up with only 94.50, the lowest since a week 3 win against Father Abraham. However, The Marmot would do slightly better than FA, coming up with a 116.00 effort on the backs of Marc Bulger (39.25) and Marvin Harrison (21.00). It would be time for Radmonium and again Edwin had been done in by a hot quarterback and an underachieving roster of superstars.

Madd Skillz's season really has to be cut in two. On the one hand you have the most dominant team in history. This team put up records that will be untouched for many seasons and had no peer in terms of competition. On the other hand, you have a tremendously disheartening postseason where the team lost more than they did during the entire regular season. It's hard to label the season as either a success or a failure, as a result.

But we must always forge ahead! Reports out of Indianapolis have Ed wearing a tie and a nametag with his smock (still no pants, but we're making progress) and swearing vengeance for 2007 (no word if he's found a computer for all of us odd numbered placed finishers). The group coming back will look strikingly similar to the one that did this season, and why would you change? LT and LJ are #1 and #2 on the running backs chart. Rudi will be back with his quiet double digits. Despite his late season disappearance, Chester Taylor is looking to sure up the flex spot. Steve Smith or Chad Johnson will be back for what will hopefully amount to a better late season performance than this year's. Another strong draft will be a necessity as next season Ed will not have the extra first rounder to start off, and he traded down picks in deals to acquire Chester Taylor, Drew Brees, and Mewelde Moore (really?) this past season.

(Next year's outlook) looks fine, though not as bright as this season was, and that may be a good thing. I'm short a 3rd rounder, but I probably won't have to stretch for a flex back early, preventing another Barlow-esque blunder. I'm throwing a lot of talent back into the draft pool, and most of it will be gone before i pick (Antonio Gates, Drew Brees, Steve Smith or Chad Johnson) so I'll have some work to do in the first two rounds. I still have LaDanian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson, so I should be competitive.