In a lame and useless attempt to re-energize the VUFSA blog, I present to you an extended look at the 2006 baseball season, with a full recap of preseason poll results. A record 10 owners voted in the poll, crowning Eli Gieryna the pre-season favorite to defend his title. But with vetrans Dakota Brezinski, Madd Skillz and the adoringly-named ELENI KAMETAS! on the trail of Dusty's Lame Ducks, it could be an impressive season indeed.
10. Wily Mo's Wild Ride (18 points)
It is a well-documented struggle for an expansion team to thrive, though draft rules in the baseball league attempted to bridge the competitive balance gap this time around. Owner Baron Brendel cetainly started out on the right foot by taking Jason Bay and Miguel Tejada in the expansion draft, both cornerstone players for his team and BOTH members of the absurdly stacked Dusty's Lame Ducks team last year.
Brendel took potential blossoming youngsters such as Matt Cain, Scott Kazmir and Mike Jacobs to pad his keeper potential and he has plenty of players that will serve vital roles, such as Chone Figgins, Johnny Damon and, assuming a repeat performance of last season, Morgan Ensberg. But there isn't a single superstar on this team besides Bay and Tejada. Employing a non-traditional drafting strategy of taking pitchers late, Brendel smartly took advantage of the deep pitching pool but is nonetheless left with people such as John Lackey, AJ Burnett, Todd Jones ad Brian Fuentes shouldering the bulk of the big time categories. He will struggle this season.
9. ChamPeons (21 points)
The most puzzling aspect of Brent Whitlock's draft was his zealous selection of first basemen, taking Carlos Delgado, Richie Sexson, Lyle Overbay and keeping Mike Sweeney. As a result, he's certainly loaded at the position, but Sexson sits on his bench while players such as Kevin Mench and Jermaine Dye play elsewhere. He will have some dealing power, but he weakened the rest of his team by bulking up at one spot, where only two first basemen can play in the everyday lineup.
His pitching will rely on a lot of players with question marks. Dontrelle Willis and Bobby Jenks have had rough pre-seasons, Eric Gagne is coming off a near fatal arm injury, and Cliff Lee was a marginal keeper at best. He put a lot of stock in Hank Blalock when he traded Overbay and Ichiro for Blalock and Mench, and that's a big risk considering the Texas third baseman hasn't consistently shown he can live up to his potential. If Champ could add another outfielder, I'd feel more comfortable with his lineup.
8. Bondo and the Asians (28 points)
Easily the sleeper pick for the 2006 baseball season, owner Dave Tomke had a near-perfect draft for an expansion team. After he played homer and made an extreme reach in taking Jeremy Bonderman in the expansion draft (where players such as Mark Mulder and Randy Johnson were available), he deftly put together a pitching staff of Pedro, Beckett, Duke, Huston Street and Ervin Santana, meshing current talent with keeper potential. He took a risk with Roger Clemens and could be sweetly rewarded ... if Clemens pitches, this team is the best staff in the league.
His problem was drafting one less outfielder than he needed, but he addressed that by trading his infield depth for Ichiro Suzuki, who becomes the star of an outfield that also has Carlos Beltran and Magglio Ordonez. Craig Biggio as his "utility" player demonstrates that there is plenty of room to grow, and an infield relying on bench player Bill Hall and dwindling Justin Morneau will be tenuous, but I give Tomke lots of credit.
7. Father Abraham (38 points)
Five years ago, this team would have been terrifying. With Albert Pujols (terrifying in any generation), Jeff Kent, Chipper Jones, Edgar Renteria and Ken Griffey, Jr., most of Lincoln Souzek's offensive players are cut from the reliable-if-healthy veteran mold, and he has David Ortiz for added power and stolen bases coming from Randy Winn and Scott Podsednik. It was a smart build, if unspectacular.
His pitching staff will have problems, however. Most critics don't think Jon Garland will do what he did last season, Andy Pettitte had a great year last year but always has arm problems, C.C. Sabathia is an on-again, off-again star, and players such as Doug Davis, Greg Maddux and Brad Radke reflect the offense in its veteran concept. No "aces" on the staff, per se, though Sabathia and Pettitte sometimes pitch as such. Most likely a middle of the pack team.
6. Cellar Dwellars (45 points -- 1 first place vote)
It's hard not to like his pitching staff, which has both time-tested arms (Schmidt, Hudson, Wagner), keeper potential (Haren, Liriano), some potential one-year-wonders but simultaneously potential resume-your-breakout stars (Carpenter, Turnbow) and one completely useless pud (McDougal). There's a lot of wins on the table if the pitching pans out.
It's a mixed bag on offense, but overall the lineup is unspectacular. Aging veterans Todd Helton, Ivan Rodriguez, Lance Berkman and Steroid Bonds will be needed heavily, with temper-tantrum prone Aramis Ramirez as the only young-ish star in the bunch. Julio Lugo might amount to something very positive, and then again he's the only player on this team with double digit steals last year. Aubrey Huff is coming off a down year, Jeff Francouer swings at everything, and Placido Polanco, to everyone's surprise, is still in baseball. Edwin Encarnacion could be a dynamite keeper potential pick.
5. Carl's Moon Men (47 points -- 1 first place vote)
Tadano's Fluffer has changed its name, for the worse if you ask me, but the team remains the same. I thought Andy Viano made a bold reach when he took Joe Mauer in the first round, but on the other hand his catcher position could be shored up for the next forever. If Casey Kotchman pans out, an infield of Utley, Rodriguez and Peralta is stellar and an outfield of Adam Dunn (power), Ryan Freel (speed), Curtis Granderson (keeper potential) and Cliff Floyd (kidney failure) addresses everything a team should want out of an outfield, even if there are no slam dunk superstars of the lot without flaws.
Viano went for quantity on the pitching end, with plenty of arms to supplement aces Rich Harden and Ben Sheets. But there isn't much here aside from numbers. Chris Capuano won 18 games last year but won't do it again, and I'm not sure anyone quite knows what to expect out of Erik Bedard, Freddy Garcia, Javy Vazquez or Gustavio Chacin. Chad Orvella was a strange pick, considering the Devil Rays haven't named him the closer, but K-Rod, Chad Cordero and Wickman will keep Viano near the top in saves.
4. ELENI KAMETAS! (54 points -- 2 first place votes)
Like, oh my god! Drew Wolf caught a break when Gary Sheffield fell to him in the first round of the draft, and he supplements a team that will hit its share of homers across the board without a single superstar in that regard. Bob Abreu had a mild second half last year but is still considered a fantasy stud, Brian Giles has silly on-base numbers, Alfonso Soriano will obtain more flexibility with a move to the outfield, David Wright is amazing and Victor Martinez is perhaps the most prolific catcher available. Throw in a host of stolen bases from Rafael Furcal, Soriano, Abreu, Wright and others, and you have a very well-rounded team that can afford to sit players like Moises Alou and Brad Wilkerson, who will come in handy later.
The pitching is okay...outside of Bartolo Colon, nobody is really striking anyone out, and the staff of Mulder, Schilling, Westbrook and Kenny Rogers won't strike fear into the hearts of too many hitters, although none of those names are bad pitchers exactly. Isringhausen and Foulke are injury question marks on the saves end, though Jose Valverde is blossoming in that regard. It's a good team with good depth.
3. Madd Skillz (65 points)
No first place votes for Ed Schillinger but lots of people picked him for second and third, and he's definitely one of the top three teams in the league. The problem right now is that his team is a hospital with its injury question marks, most notably Willy Taveras, Scott Rolen, Carlos Lee, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood.
Cubs aces aside, the pitching on this team is very good. Nobody needs to be told what Santana and Zambrano can do, and Joe Nathan might be the best closer in baseball, with Trevor Hoffman as no slouch either. Livan Hernandez is a horse (everyone calls him that), and Joe Blanton has keeper potential.
On the offensive end, Skillz will get a lot of consistent production from dudes like Michael Young, Jorge Cantu, Mark Teixeira, and most likely Rolen, which could be one of the draft's better steals. Grady Sizemore fell into his lap in the first round, probably because nobody ackowledges the sheer fantasy stud-dom he brings to the table by being well better than average in every category. He's baseball's Andrei Kirilenko. Lee and Pat Burrell each drove in more than 100 runs last season, and Taveras swiped 30-odd bases. Not too many holes.
2. Dakota Brezinski (65 points -- 2 first place votes)
By virtue of first place votes, settles tie with Madd Skillz for second place. Was extremely fortunate to thread Randy Johnson through the expansion process, leaving JR Radcliffe with a superb pitching staff that includes Oswalt, Halladay, Smoltz and upstart Noah Lowry, with Brad Lidge (a good value in the third round) and Armando Benitez (an injury question mark) serving as closers.
The RBI totals might be hard to come by, with only four players on the entire roster clearing 100 last year and one of them, Miguel Cabrera, now playing on a team decorated with youth. Derrek Lee will need to duplicate what he did last year in that regard. Went young, taking Jeremy Hermida, Ryan Zimmerman, Rickie Weeks and Johnny Gomes -- the latter probably too early -- to expand his keeper portfolio considerably. With Travis Hafner sliding to him in the first round, his offense is solid and polished, though not poised to blow the league away. That said, plenty of depth, with Barmes, Loretta and Guillen all likely to be starting on other teams in the league.
1. Dusty's Lame Ducks (69 points -- 4 first place votes)
The dawn of expansion has leveled the playing field somewhat...even Eli Gieryna's runaway champ team from last year has holes on the pitching staff that make it beatable. But just look at his outfield -- his godforsaken ohmygod that can't be real outfield -- and you'll see why people were impressed with his team.
Just think, Gieryna didn't have room to keep players like Miguel Tejada, Jason Bay, Chris Carpenter, Jason Isringhausen, Pedro Martinez, Ichrio Suzuki, Joe Mauer and Carlos Delgado. OH MY FUCKING GOD. Instead, he'll have to settle for Manny Ramirez, Vlad Guerrero and Carl Crawford, the perfect fantasy outfield. Hideki Matsui is a nice fourth and Chad Tracy has a heapful of upside. On the infield, Jose Reyes will conspire with Crawford to help Eli win stolen bases, Ryan Howard could emerge into an absolute superstar at first base with Jim Thome as a fine backup (irony), and Melvin Mora is one of the better third basemen in the league, even without the high profile to boot.
The pitching is fine with Jake Peavy as a stud and plenty of solid guys like Webb, Patterson, Lowe and Heilman. Felix Hernandez was kept because most people think he will own the game in two years, but he's still very, very young and MIGHT have a great season this year (his numbers last year would indicate that he's going to be just fine) but he could succumb to the "playing in the Major Leagues before you turn 21" thing. Gordon, Ryan, Ray and Reitsma are an uninspiring set of closers.
Furthermore, Eli Gieryna was chosen fifth in last year's preseason poll, before running away with it all. If that list of players that he had to give back is any indication, he's capable of fielding and cultivating the best team in the league, with a savvy capability to trade and enhance. It's hard to bet against him this time around. Even if he's a bitch.
Oh yes, while you're considering the merits of this preseason glance, check out what was written in the basketball preseason.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Madd Skillz: 11-3
Madd Skillz: 11-3
The defending VUFSA football champion looked to defend his prestigious crown in 2005, and, well, he did so in spectacular fashion. Clearly the best team in the league, Madd Skillz dominated the division and compiled an impressive 11-3 mark – tied for best in the league. The playoffs would be more of the same, winning their two games by a combined 130+ points. Despite this overwhelming mastery of the VUFSA, it’s still fun to look back and see that Skillz’s season still involved Chad Pennington. Ha!
Keepers:
LaDanian Tomlinson
Rudi Johnson
Domanick Davis
Chad Johnson
The starting four would last the entire season with Schillinger and would carry him to regular season success. LT would score more often than the Cleveland Browns entire offense. 23 touchdowns, including 3 through the air, would often be more than enough to defeat opponents’ entire starting 3 backs.
If LaDanian Tomlinson rested on my bench every week, and I left his RB spot empty, I would have won 10 games.
Good heavens.
Rudi Johnson started off slowly accumulating more yards than scores, but in weeks 11-15, he scored 9 times. Domanick Davis battled injuries, but still managed 1,200 total yards and 6 TDs (thereby accumulating all of Houston’s offense). Chad Johnson had 1,400+ yards and 9 scores on his way to being the fourth best WR in Yahoo fantasy sports. In all, a very strong backfield and a go-to WR-1.
Round 1: Fred Taylor
Round 1a: Steve Smith
Round 2: Matt Hasselbeck
Round 3: Todd Heap
Round 4: Laverneus Coles
Round 5: Larry Johnson
Round 6: Tom Brady
Round 7: Traded away in 2004
Round 8: Ed Reed
Round 9: Sebastian Janikowski
Round 10: Keary Colbert
Round 11: Mike Williams
Round 12: Keith Bulluck
Round 13: Lance Briggs
Round 14: Chad Pennington
Round 15: Bubba Franks
Supplemental round 1: Frank Gore
I thought this the second it was done: I was really happy with it. I stayed according to the plan, and it worked out great. Steve Smith in the 2nd round was a gamble, but obviously one that paid off handsomely. All season I had kicked myself for going personal and grabbing Matt Hasselbeck early, especially over Marc Bulger, but that turned out very well for me. I think Laverneus Coles was an excellent pick, but I can't prove that since Chad Pennington's injury. My back-to-backs in rounds 5 and 6 (Brady/Johnson) might be the best consecutive draft picks I will ever make.
First pick Fred Taylor surprisingly battled injuries on and off in 2005 and never lived up to first round potential. Scoring just 3 TDs all season, Taylor didn’t do much for Skillz until he became a first round pick in the 2006 draft (more later). Reggie Wayne was plucked from MS as part of the expansion draft, and his replacement pick more than made up for Wayne’s departure. Steve Smith went off, dog (for you Dejuan C3PO). The man’s broken leg in 2004 was repaired with super human substances. 13 TDs, 1,600 total yards on his way to being the comeback player of the year. Matt Hasselbeck (3rd round pick) would sit behind Tom Brady (6th round pick) portions of the year but as the Seahawks went into Super Bowl mode, it was Hasselbeck who led Madd Skillz into and through the playoffs. Todd Heap offered a strong option at tight end, leaving us with the fifth round pick to discuss.
Larry Johnson. The fifth round selection was a gamble by Schillinger. Johnson found himself behind one of the best running backs in the league, Priest Holmes, and frequently in coach Dick Vermeil’s doghouse. 3 TDs in the first two weeks led to some tasty trade offers that looked to capitalize on a player destined to sit on Madd Skillz’s bench due in large part to the overabundance of quality running backs on the roster. Alas, Edwin held onto Larry Johnson and ends up that it was wise decision. In week 8, Holmes died which in turn led to more playing time for Johnson.
I didn't trade him earlier in the year because I kept asking myself "can you really trade the guy who could one day inheirit Holmes' fantasy stats?"
His numbers the rest of the year:
Week 9: 107 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 10: 132 rushing
Week 11: 211 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 12: 119 rushing; 1 TD
Week 13: 140 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 14: 143 rushing; 3 TDs
Week 15: 167 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 16: 131 rushing; 2 TDs
Lastly of note about the draft, supplemental round 1 saw the beginning of Frank Gore’s Anal, er, Wild Adventure around the VUFSA. Whee!
So with this stacked team, did improvements really need to be made? Couldn’t have Skillz set a lineup week 1 and watched it coast to victory? The answer is yes. But, he didn’t and instead his fine GM-ship led him to continue to fine tune and tinker with his roster. Some of the big moves:
Trades:
9/19 Acquired
Jeremy Shockey
DeAngelo Hall
Duce Staley
Lost:
Keary Colbert
Mike Williams
Frank Gore
Lance Briggs
Because Todd Heap wasn’t good enough, Madd Skillz acquired Lil’ Eli’s short game buddy, Jeremy Shockey. And it didn’t cost all that much.
I made a ton of little trades this season, the only real significant one was getting Jeremy Shockey (#2 TE) for a handful of guys that looked better when it happened than they do now.
10/10 Acquired:
Greg Jones
Lost:
Todd Heap
12/7 Acquired
Brian Westbrook
Kevan Barlow
Lost:
Fred Taylor
Greg Jones
12/7 Acquired
Baron’s first round pick
Lost:
Brian Westbrook
These last two deals were, in my opinion, two of the best deals in any VUFSA sport. With a stacked backfield, Edwin had no need for these extra RBs and instead of losing them for nothing at the end of the year, he managed to pawn off Jacksonville’s backfield to a needy JR Radcliffe for a broken down Brian Westbrook. Moments later, the IR riding Westbrook was shuffled in the way of Baron Brendel’s Big Fat Guys (I typed “fart” instead of “fat.” Tee hee.). So two running backs who were never going to play another game for Madd Skillz became a first round pick in 2006. Not too shabby. Oh, and I hate you, Ed.
I hate you for this and for my own shortcomings. After week 2, I, in my infinite brilliance, cut loose Santana Moss who naturally landed on Edwin’s roster. Those 1,400 yards and 9 TDs sure would have been better than Keenan McCardell. I suck.
Sorry to say it, but Santana Moss on waivers bailed me out when Coles was irrelevant. He's tailing off now, but he was a big lift early in the season. Matter of fact, he and Shockey are the only player in my starting linuep (not counting john wells) that weren't on the team from day one.
But enough about me, let’s talk about the season.
(For this portion of the recap, please place your Limp Bizkit compact disc into the player and press play. Once “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” is running, skip to “Rollin’” for a more vomitious and impactful experience.)
Week 1: Win over Sex Panther by 27
Week 2: Win over Big Fat Guys by 37.75
Week 3: Win over Blaine Browns by 44.5
Week 4: Win over Octagon by 3 (ooh, a close one!)
Week 5: Win over ChamPeons by 88 (!)
Week 6: Win over Father Abraham by 69.5
(Now “scratch” the record creating an annoying yet hip ‘80s sound.)
Week 7 would end the perfect dream. Fred Lane’s Wife rolled into town, took advantage of 3 crucial MS byes, and walked out with a win. Not to worry. This would be but a minor setback.
Week 8 would be a huge match-up against undefeated Cellar Dwellers with fantasy bragging rights on the line. That and doughnuts.
This time, the bye week would hit CD hard as Shaun Alexander who was averaging 103 points per week missed the contest and Skillz was once again number one.
Minor setbacks against playoff desperate Sex Panther and The Octagon would be two additional blemishes on Edwin’s record. Not to worry, though, victories over WIRM, Big Fat Guys, Blaine Browns, and ChamPeons would add to the win total rounding out a gaudy 11-3 regular season tally.
Key games for me focus on my losses. I'm not really angry about any of the three- as two of them happened on the only weeks I had bad byes and the other on a week where I scored 130 points. Week 7 I missed Steve Smith, Fred Taylor and Tom Brady in a loss to Viano, and in week 10, LDT, the Bengals had byes- with Domanick Davis hurt. I don't expect pity for byes, as we all know well in advance when they are coming, but it's not like I got beat at full strength those weeks. I feel big about the win over Stem, although that big matchup really fizzled because of his team's suck and mine's averageness. The 171 point game against you sticks out in my mind as well.
Madd Skillz’s 11-3 record and 1850.25 point total would be enough to secure the number one seed. For the second straight year, Schillinger would take on my team in the first round. Ed scored 170. I scored 80. It wasn’t close. 5 players scored over 20 points and the Edwin dominance continued.
That led to VUFSA Super Bowl 2! Fittingly, the two best teams throughout the regular season would face off with matching 12-3 records. Cellar Dwellers was a much improved team since the last time Madd Skillz came calling (read Shaun Alexander was available) and revenge was on their mind. Despite the 31.5 points Alexander would score (more than half of anyone else), CD came up short against the juggernaut Madd Skillz. 7 players scored in double figures for Edwin including a kicker and a defender. 149.0-100.5 was the final tally and for the second straight year, Ed gets a wonderful plaque to commemorate his fantasy football skillz.
With the championship in tow, attention turns to 2006 where Edwin is already a favorite to repeat. Chad Johnson and Steve Smith are two of the top four receivers in the entire league, and LT, Rudi Johnson, and Larry Johnson in the backfield, it’s a fantastic five to have coming back. Let’s not forget that Baron’s first round pick (3rd overall) will also be Schillinger’s to resecure a quarterback. Things look bright for ’06 unless of course the bird flu wipes out half his roster.
The 5th spot is where I have some troubles- deciding between Domanick Davis and Steve Smith. I'm leaning towards Smith now, because it's hard to throw the #1 receiever this year back into the draft pool, and Davis has been awfully inconsistent. I'll also have to see what the Texans do in terms of a new head coach and in the draft. As far as next year's draft- I have a top3 pick, and have targeted 3 players so far: Torry Holt, Domanick Davis, and Reggie Bush. That list changes dramatically if Davis and Bush end up on the same team, as I may lean towards a QB or another RB. I will have a second 1st rounder near the wraparound, so I hope to have my entire offense (outside of TE) by pick 14 or so.
Parting thoughts on next year, Mr. Schillinger?
This is impossible to tell. Of course I feel good with my keepers and high picks, but there are so many frightening owners in this league, and I won't have an injury free season again- that it's hard to tell. I'm expecting to make the playoffs (which is my goal every year) and would probably be considered a favorite to do so. But it's early.
The defending VUFSA football champion looked to defend his prestigious crown in 2005, and, well, he did so in spectacular fashion. Clearly the best team in the league, Madd Skillz dominated the division and compiled an impressive 11-3 mark – tied for best in the league. The playoffs would be more of the same, winning their two games by a combined 130+ points. Despite this overwhelming mastery of the VUFSA, it’s still fun to look back and see that Skillz’s season still involved Chad Pennington. Ha!
Keepers:
LaDanian Tomlinson
Rudi Johnson
Domanick Davis
Chad Johnson
The starting four would last the entire season with Schillinger and would carry him to regular season success. LT would score more often than the Cleveland Browns entire offense. 23 touchdowns, including 3 through the air, would often be more than enough to defeat opponents’ entire starting 3 backs.
If LaDanian Tomlinson rested on my bench every week, and I left his RB spot empty, I would have won 10 games.
Good heavens.
Rudi Johnson started off slowly accumulating more yards than scores, but in weeks 11-15, he scored 9 times. Domanick Davis battled injuries, but still managed 1,200 total yards and 6 TDs (thereby accumulating all of Houston’s offense). Chad Johnson had 1,400+ yards and 9 scores on his way to being the fourth best WR in Yahoo fantasy sports. In all, a very strong backfield and a go-to WR-1.
Round 1: Fred Taylor
Round 1a: Steve Smith
Round 2: Matt Hasselbeck
Round 3: Todd Heap
Round 4: Laverneus Coles
Round 5: Larry Johnson
Round 6: Tom Brady
Round 7: Traded away in 2004
Round 8: Ed Reed
Round 9: Sebastian Janikowski
Round 10: Keary Colbert
Round 11: Mike Williams
Round 12: Keith Bulluck
Round 13: Lance Briggs
Round 14: Chad Pennington
Round 15: Bubba Franks
Supplemental round 1: Frank Gore
I thought this the second it was done: I was really happy with it. I stayed according to the plan, and it worked out great. Steve Smith in the 2nd round was a gamble, but obviously one that paid off handsomely. All season I had kicked myself for going personal and grabbing Matt Hasselbeck early, especially over Marc Bulger, but that turned out very well for me. I think Laverneus Coles was an excellent pick, but I can't prove that since Chad Pennington's injury. My back-to-backs in rounds 5 and 6 (Brady/Johnson) might be the best consecutive draft picks I will ever make.
First pick Fred Taylor surprisingly battled injuries on and off in 2005 and never lived up to first round potential. Scoring just 3 TDs all season, Taylor didn’t do much for Skillz until he became a first round pick in the 2006 draft (more later). Reggie Wayne was plucked from MS as part of the expansion draft, and his replacement pick more than made up for Wayne’s departure. Steve Smith went off, dog (for you Dejuan C3PO). The man’s broken leg in 2004 was repaired with super human substances. 13 TDs, 1,600 total yards on his way to being the comeback player of the year. Matt Hasselbeck (3rd round pick) would sit behind Tom Brady (6th round pick) portions of the year but as the Seahawks went into Super Bowl mode, it was Hasselbeck who led Madd Skillz into and through the playoffs. Todd Heap offered a strong option at tight end, leaving us with the fifth round pick to discuss.
Larry Johnson. The fifth round selection was a gamble by Schillinger. Johnson found himself behind one of the best running backs in the league, Priest Holmes, and frequently in coach Dick Vermeil’s doghouse. 3 TDs in the first two weeks led to some tasty trade offers that looked to capitalize on a player destined to sit on Madd Skillz’s bench due in large part to the overabundance of quality running backs on the roster. Alas, Edwin held onto Larry Johnson and ends up that it was wise decision. In week 8, Holmes died which in turn led to more playing time for Johnson.
I didn't trade him earlier in the year because I kept asking myself "can you really trade the guy who could one day inheirit Holmes' fantasy stats?"
His numbers the rest of the year:
Week 9: 107 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 10: 132 rushing
Week 11: 211 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 12: 119 rushing; 1 TD
Week 13: 140 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 14: 143 rushing; 3 TDs
Week 15: 167 rushing; 2 TDs
Week 16: 131 rushing; 2 TDs
Lastly of note about the draft, supplemental round 1 saw the beginning of Frank Gore’s Anal, er, Wild Adventure around the VUFSA. Whee!
So with this stacked team, did improvements really need to be made? Couldn’t have Skillz set a lineup week 1 and watched it coast to victory? The answer is yes. But, he didn’t and instead his fine GM-ship led him to continue to fine tune and tinker with his roster. Some of the big moves:
Trades:
9/19 Acquired
Jeremy Shockey
DeAngelo Hall
Duce Staley
Lost:
Keary Colbert
Mike Williams
Frank Gore
Lance Briggs
Because Todd Heap wasn’t good enough, Madd Skillz acquired Lil’ Eli’s short game buddy, Jeremy Shockey. And it didn’t cost all that much.
I made a ton of little trades this season, the only real significant one was getting Jeremy Shockey (#2 TE) for a handful of guys that looked better when it happened than they do now.
10/10 Acquired:
Greg Jones
Lost:
Todd Heap
12/7 Acquired
Brian Westbrook
Kevan Barlow
Lost:
Fred Taylor
Greg Jones
12/7 Acquired
Baron’s first round pick
Lost:
Brian Westbrook
These last two deals were, in my opinion, two of the best deals in any VUFSA sport. With a stacked backfield, Edwin had no need for these extra RBs and instead of losing them for nothing at the end of the year, he managed to pawn off Jacksonville’s backfield to a needy JR Radcliffe for a broken down Brian Westbrook. Moments later, the IR riding Westbrook was shuffled in the way of Baron Brendel’s Big Fat Guys (I typed “fart” instead of “fat.” Tee hee.). So two running backs who were never going to play another game for Madd Skillz became a first round pick in 2006. Not too shabby. Oh, and I hate you, Ed.
I hate you for this and for my own shortcomings. After week 2, I, in my infinite brilliance, cut loose Santana Moss who naturally landed on Edwin’s roster. Those 1,400 yards and 9 TDs sure would have been better than Keenan McCardell. I suck.
Sorry to say it, but Santana Moss on waivers bailed me out when Coles was irrelevant. He's tailing off now, but he was a big lift early in the season. Matter of fact, he and Shockey are the only player in my starting linuep (not counting john wells) that weren't on the team from day one.
But enough about me, let’s talk about the season.
(For this portion of the recap, please place your Limp Bizkit compact disc into the player and press play. Once “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” is running, skip to “Rollin’” for a more vomitious and impactful experience.)
Week 1: Win over Sex Panther by 27
Week 2: Win over Big Fat Guys by 37.75
Week 3: Win over Blaine Browns by 44.5
Week 4: Win over Octagon by 3 (ooh, a close one!)
Week 5: Win over ChamPeons by 88 (!)
Week 6: Win over Father Abraham by 69.5
(Now “scratch” the record creating an annoying yet hip ‘80s sound.)
Week 7 would end the perfect dream. Fred Lane’s Wife rolled into town, took advantage of 3 crucial MS byes, and walked out with a win. Not to worry. This would be but a minor setback.
Week 8 would be a huge match-up against undefeated Cellar Dwellers with fantasy bragging rights on the line. That and doughnuts.
This time, the bye week would hit CD hard as Shaun Alexander who was averaging 103 points per week missed the contest and Skillz was once again number one.
Minor setbacks against playoff desperate Sex Panther and The Octagon would be two additional blemishes on Edwin’s record. Not to worry, though, victories over WIRM, Big Fat Guys, Blaine Browns, and ChamPeons would add to the win total rounding out a gaudy 11-3 regular season tally.
Key games for me focus on my losses. I'm not really angry about any of the three- as two of them happened on the only weeks I had bad byes and the other on a week where I scored 130 points. Week 7 I missed Steve Smith, Fred Taylor and Tom Brady in a loss to Viano, and in week 10, LDT, the Bengals had byes- with Domanick Davis hurt. I don't expect pity for byes, as we all know well in advance when they are coming, but it's not like I got beat at full strength those weeks. I feel big about the win over Stem, although that big matchup really fizzled because of his team's suck and mine's averageness. The 171 point game against you sticks out in my mind as well.
Madd Skillz’s 11-3 record and 1850.25 point total would be enough to secure the number one seed. For the second straight year, Schillinger would take on my team in the first round. Ed scored 170. I scored 80. It wasn’t close. 5 players scored over 20 points and the Edwin dominance continued.
That led to VUFSA Super Bowl 2! Fittingly, the two best teams throughout the regular season would face off with matching 12-3 records. Cellar Dwellers was a much improved team since the last time Madd Skillz came calling (read Shaun Alexander was available) and revenge was on their mind. Despite the 31.5 points Alexander would score (more than half of anyone else), CD came up short against the juggernaut Madd Skillz. 7 players scored in double figures for Edwin including a kicker and a defender. 149.0-100.5 was the final tally and for the second straight year, Ed gets a wonderful plaque to commemorate his fantasy football skillz.
With the championship in tow, attention turns to 2006 where Edwin is already a favorite to repeat. Chad Johnson and Steve Smith are two of the top four receivers in the entire league, and LT, Rudi Johnson, and Larry Johnson in the backfield, it’s a fantastic five to have coming back. Let’s not forget that Baron’s first round pick (3rd overall) will also be Schillinger’s to resecure a quarterback. Things look bright for ’06 unless of course the bird flu wipes out half his roster.
The 5th spot is where I have some troubles- deciding between Domanick Davis and Steve Smith. I'm leaning towards Smith now, because it's hard to throw the #1 receiever this year back into the draft pool, and Davis has been awfully inconsistent. I'll also have to see what the Texans do in terms of a new head coach and in the draft. As far as next year's draft- I have a top3 pick, and have targeted 3 players so far: Torry Holt, Domanick Davis, and Reggie Bush. That list changes dramatically if Davis and Bush end up on the same team, as I may lean towards a QB or another RB. I will have a second 1st rounder near the wraparound, so I hope to have my entire offense (outside of TE) by pick 14 or so.
Parting thoughts on next year, Mr. Schillinger?
This is impossible to tell. Of course I feel good with my keepers and high picks, but there are so many frightening owners in this league, and I won't have an injury free season again- that it's hard to tell. I'm expecting to make the playoffs (which is my goal every year) and would probably be considered a favorite to do so. But it's early.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Cellar Dwellers: 11-3
Cellar Dwellers: 11-3
The greatest single season turnaround EVER. And that spans two seasons. Stem’s squad in all three VUFSA sports had been notoriously bad, and Stem seemed to embrace this failure with a name change poking fun at his plight. Well, he poked his keepers who propelled him to a second place finish in the league and the “model” that other losers can only hope to emulate.
Keepers:
Shaun Alexander
Kevin Jones
Roy Williams
Eric Moulds
Jake Delhomme
Eh. Not too much here. I wasn’t overwhelmed when I saw it on paper the first time or even now, which makes Cellar Dwellers’ success all the more remarkable. Obviously Shaun Alexander is the name that jumps out. Scoring a single season record of touchdowns will single handedly lead a team to a slew of wins. Kevin Jones came on strong in 2004, but petered out in 2005. Roy Williams? 8TDs but missed a lot of games. Eric Moulds? Just 4 TDs. Jake Delhomme? He would be one of three quarterbacks on the roster during the key stretch of the season and hardly the superstar at QB with so many different players being ushered in and out of the top spot. In all, not a tremendous amount of talent here, though Alexander probably makes up for about two of them.
Round 1: LaMont Jordan
Round 2: Larry Fitzgerald
Round 3: Jerry Porter
Round 4: Randy McMichael
Round 5: Michael Bennett
Round 6: Matt Stover
Round 7: Plaxico Burress
Round 8: Byron Leftwich
Round 9: Marshall Faulk
Round 10: Roy Williams (DB)
Round 11: Johnathan Vilma
Round 12: Dunta Robinson
Round 13: Derrick Johnson
Round 14: David Terrell
Round 15: Eric Johnson
Here’s where the final pieces of the puzzle came together. LaMont Jordan had a strong season in his first year as a starter. He would finish with 1,000 yards and 11 touchdowns, providing a solid #2 at RB. Larry Fitzgerald benefited from a pathetic Arizona rushing attack and Anquan Boldin’s midseason injury to become the number one option on pretty much every play for the Cardinals. Double digit TDs (10), triple digit receptions (104), and quadruple digit yards (1,409) made him Yahoo’s second highest rated receiver on the year. Randy McMichael was a modest selection at tight end contributing 500 yards and 5 TDs. Plaxico Burress was a breakout player with 1,200 yards and 7 TDs becoming a strong WR 2. The rest of the list was so so with a few players contributing here and there, but the key elements were in place.
The starting lineup from which Stem would rarely vary:
RB – Alexander
RB – Jordan
RB – Jones
WR – Fitzgerald
WR – Burress
WR – Williams/Moulds
TE – McMichael
This was the crew that would carry the team all season. There were no major waiver wire pick ups. There were no huge blockbuster trades. There was no tinkering. There were no major injuries. But there was tremendous consistency and many wins to be had.
A seemingly minor waver wire pick up came, though, in week 3 when Matt Stover made way for “Superstar” Neil Rackers. Neil’s numbers?
Week 3: 14.00
Week 4: 19.00
Week 5: 8.00
Week 6: Bye
Week 7: 8.00
Week 8: 8.00
Week 9: 14.00
Week 10: 9.00 (A “tackle solo” even!)
Week 11: 13.00
Week 12: 5.00
Week 13: Injured
Week 14: 7.00
Week 15: 7.00
Week 16: 9.00
And may I remind you he’s a kicker.
In week 1, Stem faced off against Big Fat Guys in a game that he was favored in by virtue of having some keepers, but was a game that was not expected to be a huge blowout. It was a game decided by less than six points, but in the end, it was Fitzgerald, Burress, Jordan, and McMichael carried the team to victory.
Week 2 revealed the first glimpse of just how good this team could be when they defeated a 100+ point scoring Blaine Browns squad. This victory put Stem at 2-0, light years ahead of where they were the season before. Alexander, Jordan, and McMichael brought Cellar Dwellers another win and their best start in any of the Stem’s three seasons.
The wins didn’t stop there. The Octagon fell next. Then it was ChamPeons. Next up was Father Abraham. Fred Lane’s Wife and Who Is Ron Mexico were no match either. Cellar Dwellers racked up seven straight victories to start the year.
The much anticipated battle of the heavyweights came in week 8 when Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz battled for first place. Shaun Alexander's bye coupled with a Mark Brunell turd dampened the competition with Skillz winning 96.75-66.75.
Cellar Dwellers responded the next two weeks with strong wins over Sex Panther and Big Fat Guys, averaging 127.125 in that time.
A late season slump saw Stem’s team drop two in a row. The two games were against two teams fighting desperately for their playoff lives while Cellar Dwellers sat comfortably locked into a top two seed. In both games, though, CD put up 100+ showing that they were not withering down the stretch. Regardless, Blaine Browns and The Octagon tacked two additional losses onto Cellar Dwellers record.
Stem would bounce back, ending the season on a two game winning streak against ChamPeons and Father Abraham to assure himself the second spot heading into the postseason.
The number two seeded Cellar Dwellers found themselves up against the three seed The Octagon. Kevin Jones was out of the lineup with injury and the thin CD team found themselves having to start Michael Pittman at RB-3. Pittman managed just 0.50 points, but the core of Stem’s squad overcame the injury. Fitzgerald (13), Alexander (23), and Jordan (18) paved the way for Stem’s first playoff victory of any sort 99.25-85.75.
The victory put CD into the championship game where they would face off against Madd Skillz. The game was a fitting rematch against the two teams that had dominated the regular season against the rest of the VUFSA. This time, no byes were in the way and Mark Brunell was no longer thought of as a starting quarterback.
Unfortunately for Cellar Dwellers, some byes against Madd Skillz probably would have helped. Kevin Jones offered no help, still being out with injury, and Lamont Jordan would play either. The not-so-deep CD managed just 3.50 points from running backs not named Shaun Alexander and the result was that the juggernaut, Madd Skillz, won 149.0-100.5 in a convincing victory.
After a remarkably successful 2005 campaign, how does 2006 shape up? Fitzgerald and Burress look to solidify the wide receiver position. Alexander has half a chance of being kept, playing pretty decently in ’05. Lamont Jordan will be back too. But what of the fifth spot? Kevin Jones? Randy McMichael? Jake Delhomme? Hell, Neil Rackers?
The greatest single season turnaround EVER. And that spans two seasons. Stem’s squad in all three VUFSA sports had been notoriously bad, and Stem seemed to embrace this failure with a name change poking fun at his plight. Well, he poked his keepers who propelled him to a second place finish in the league and the “model” that other losers can only hope to emulate.
Keepers:
Shaun Alexander
Kevin Jones
Roy Williams
Eric Moulds
Jake Delhomme
Eh. Not too much here. I wasn’t overwhelmed when I saw it on paper the first time or even now, which makes Cellar Dwellers’ success all the more remarkable. Obviously Shaun Alexander is the name that jumps out. Scoring a single season record of touchdowns will single handedly lead a team to a slew of wins. Kevin Jones came on strong in 2004, but petered out in 2005. Roy Williams? 8TDs but missed a lot of games. Eric Moulds? Just 4 TDs. Jake Delhomme? He would be one of three quarterbacks on the roster during the key stretch of the season and hardly the superstar at QB with so many different players being ushered in and out of the top spot. In all, not a tremendous amount of talent here, though Alexander probably makes up for about two of them.
Round 1: LaMont Jordan
Round 2: Larry Fitzgerald
Round 3: Jerry Porter
Round 4: Randy McMichael
Round 5: Michael Bennett
Round 6: Matt Stover
Round 7: Plaxico Burress
Round 8: Byron Leftwich
Round 9: Marshall Faulk
Round 10: Roy Williams (DB)
Round 11: Johnathan Vilma
Round 12: Dunta Robinson
Round 13: Derrick Johnson
Round 14: David Terrell
Round 15: Eric Johnson
Here’s where the final pieces of the puzzle came together. LaMont Jordan had a strong season in his first year as a starter. He would finish with 1,000 yards and 11 touchdowns, providing a solid #2 at RB. Larry Fitzgerald benefited from a pathetic Arizona rushing attack and Anquan Boldin’s midseason injury to become the number one option on pretty much every play for the Cardinals. Double digit TDs (10), triple digit receptions (104), and quadruple digit yards (1,409) made him Yahoo’s second highest rated receiver on the year. Randy McMichael was a modest selection at tight end contributing 500 yards and 5 TDs. Plaxico Burress was a breakout player with 1,200 yards and 7 TDs becoming a strong WR 2. The rest of the list was so so with a few players contributing here and there, but the key elements were in place.
The starting lineup from which Stem would rarely vary:
RB – Alexander
RB – Jordan
RB – Jones
WR – Fitzgerald
WR – Burress
WR – Williams/Moulds
TE – McMichael
This was the crew that would carry the team all season. There were no major waiver wire pick ups. There were no huge blockbuster trades. There was no tinkering. There were no major injuries. But there was tremendous consistency and many wins to be had.
A seemingly minor waver wire pick up came, though, in week 3 when Matt Stover made way for “Superstar” Neil Rackers. Neil’s numbers?
Week 3: 14.00
Week 4: 19.00
Week 5: 8.00
Week 6: Bye
Week 7: 8.00
Week 8: 8.00
Week 9: 14.00
Week 10: 9.00 (A “tackle solo” even!)
Week 11: 13.00
Week 12: 5.00
Week 13: Injured
Week 14: 7.00
Week 15: 7.00
Week 16: 9.00
And may I remind you he’s a kicker.
In week 1, Stem faced off against Big Fat Guys in a game that he was favored in by virtue of having some keepers, but was a game that was not expected to be a huge blowout. It was a game decided by less than six points, but in the end, it was Fitzgerald, Burress, Jordan, and McMichael carried the team to victory.
Week 2 revealed the first glimpse of just how good this team could be when they defeated a 100+ point scoring Blaine Browns squad. This victory put Stem at 2-0, light years ahead of where they were the season before. Alexander, Jordan, and McMichael brought Cellar Dwellers another win and their best start in any of the Stem’s three seasons.
The wins didn’t stop there. The Octagon fell next. Then it was ChamPeons. Next up was Father Abraham. Fred Lane’s Wife and Who Is Ron Mexico were no match either. Cellar Dwellers racked up seven straight victories to start the year.
The much anticipated battle of the heavyweights came in week 8 when Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz battled for first place. Shaun Alexander's bye coupled with a Mark Brunell turd dampened the competition with Skillz winning 96.75-66.75.
Cellar Dwellers responded the next two weeks with strong wins over Sex Panther and Big Fat Guys, averaging 127.125 in that time.
A late season slump saw Stem’s team drop two in a row. The two games were against two teams fighting desperately for their playoff lives while Cellar Dwellers sat comfortably locked into a top two seed. In both games, though, CD put up 100+ showing that they were not withering down the stretch. Regardless, Blaine Browns and The Octagon tacked two additional losses onto Cellar Dwellers record.
Stem would bounce back, ending the season on a two game winning streak against ChamPeons and Father Abraham to assure himself the second spot heading into the postseason.
The number two seeded Cellar Dwellers found themselves up against the three seed The Octagon. Kevin Jones was out of the lineup with injury and the thin CD team found themselves having to start Michael Pittman at RB-3. Pittman managed just 0.50 points, but the core of Stem’s squad overcame the injury. Fitzgerald (13), Alexander (23), and Jordan (18) paved the way for Stem’s first playoff victory of any sort 99.25-85.75.
The victory put CD into the championship game where they would face off against Madd Skillz. The game was a fitting rematch against the two teams that had dominated the regular season against the rest of the VUFSA. This time, no byes were in the way and Mark Brunell was no longer thought of as a starting quarterback.
Unfortunately for Cellar Dwellers, some byes against Madd Skillz probably would have helped. Kevin Jones offered no help, still being out with injury, and Lamont Jordan would play either. The not-so-deep CD managed just 3.50 points from running backs not named Shaun Alexander and the result was that the juggernaut, Madd Skillz, won 149.0-100.5 in a convincing victory.
After a remarkably successful 2005 campaign, how does 2006 shape up? Fitzgerald and Burress look to solidify the wide receiver position. Alexander has half a chance of being kept, playing pretty decently in ’05. Lamont Jordan will be back too. But what of the fifth spot? Kevin Jones? Randy McMichael? Jake Delhomme? Hell, Neil Rackers?
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
The Octagon: 9-5
The Octagon: 9-5
The Octagon. Team Extreme. This team who let momentum pull them every which way managed to have a successful 2005 campaign despite losing five games in a row and being the lowest point scorer of any winner the first two weeks of the season. Some smart trades, lots of luck, a little black magic, and a donut hole in all totaled a third place finish. Let us begin this love roller coaster by playing either the Ohio Players or the Red Hot Chili Peppers – your pick!
Keepers:
Marvin Harrison
Tony Gonzalez
Hines Ward
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Certainly nothing wrong with that group. Except it doesn’t have a quarterback. And only one running back. Ok, so it was highly unconventional. Tony Gonzalez and Andre Johnson would end up disappointing, while Tiki Barber, Hines Ward, and Marvin Harrison lived up to their keeper designation. Of these five, just two would remain on the roster at season’s end.
If I had to choose one receiver in the league that I would kiss on the mouth, it would be Marvin Harrison. He and Troy Polamalu were recipients of the JR's Mancrush Award for the 2005 football season.
Round 1: Trent Green
Round 2: JJ Arrington
Round 3: Kevan Barlow
Round 4: Lee Evans
Round 5: Cedric Benson
Round 6: Adam Vinateri
Round 7: Travis Henry
Round 8: Carson Palmer
Round 9: Marcus Robinson
Round 10: LJ Smith
Round 11: Michael Pittman
Round 12: Chester Taylor
Round 13: Ronde Barber
Round 14: Troy Polamalu
Round 15: Jason Taylor
My draft was the equivilant of a little child with diarrhea. I crapped the bed in the first round, and then continued to crap until I had no underwear left, except one pair (eighth round). I then ruined that pair later in the season.
Eww, gross. Trent Green never played up to the wonderful draft designation of – all right, I’ll let it rest. JJ Arrington was supposed to be a breakout back in Arizona. Unfortunately, Dennis Green and Arizona Cardinal tradition caught up with him. Kevan Barlow played for the worst offense in football, which oddly resulted in the offensive coordinator getting promoted to JR’s neck of the woods. Lee Evans was quiet almost all season until some huge games at the end. Cedric Benson fell behind due to a holdout and never got the starting job due to the surprising emergence of Thomas Jones as a top running back. Travis Henry did drugs. Carson Palmer was a good pick, but no one knew how good at the time. Then JR quietly got the two men he sexually craves in rounds 14 and 15.
Mostly lows. Trent Green never panned out as a first round pick and JJ Arrington was loathsome in round two. Kevan Barlow (3), Lee Evans (4) and Cedric Benson (5), nor Adam Vinatieri (6) lived up to my hopes. Carson Palmer in round 8 would have been the steal of the draft, if I kept him. In all, it was a terrible, terrible draft.
In a relatively short 14 game season, each game is tremendously important. Sometimes you play well and get the win, and occasionally, you squeak by undeservingly. In weeks 1 and 2, the latter held true for The Octagon. Scoring less than 90 points was still enough to put away Father Abraham and Fred Lane’s Wife to open the season at 2-0.
Feeling good about his early success, JR made a bold move to strengthen the team’s lackluster backfield.
Trades:
9/19 Acquired:
Brian Westbrook
Antwaan Randel El
Lost:
Carson Palmer
Travis Henry
My favorite trade was when I stole Brian Westbrook from Baron Brendel for some backup quarterback and a draft pick. Now that the season is over I have to admit, I absolutely fucking snowed his ass.
Critics thought JR took The Big Fat Guys out behind the woodshed and beat them with a steel pipe. Westbrook was shining, scoring 16.50 points in each of his first two weeks, and while Palmer was a prospect, he hardly seemed ready to be worth a top of the line Philly running back. Then a funning thing happened. The Octagon began scoring more, yet they began losing more. They put up a season high 107.25 in week 3 only to fall to Cellar Dwellers. In week 4, 93.25 was not enough to overcome Madd Skillz. Sex Panther the following week won even though The Octagon again scored 90+. The losing streak would continue with a disappointing defeat to Big Fat Guys and then finally to Blaine Browns.
My team was in an extreme depression when it faced Big Fat Guys, and that's why they lost. If they hadn't been so bummed out about losing, they never would have lost to the Fatman. On the year, JR had a 2-2 record against men who get consistent married sex, and 1-1 against Stem, who gets infinitely more unmarried sex.
The loss to the Browns, though, would be The Octagon’s last for nearly 2 months. A slew of moves helped shape the club for the stretch run.
10/18 Acquired
Antowain Smth
Jimmy Smith
Lost:
Hines Ward
Chris Perry
10/31 Acquired:
Mike Anderson
Lost:
Tony Fisher
Chester Taylor
Acquired Mike Anderson for Chester Taylor and Tony Fisher, probably my best trade since both of those running backs amounted to little while Anderson was key.
11/11 Acquired:
Reggie Wayne
Carnell Williams
Lost:
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Ironically consummated to help my keeper status and help Eli's present status, though I made the playoffs and he did not. Both Wayne and Williams will be keepers and are solid fantasy options, while Tiki is as well but aging. Hard to say how this trade pans out over time...though I'm in and Eli's not, for what that's worth.
11/23 Acquired
Marc Bulger
Lost:
Cedric Benson
12/6 Acquired
Dallas Clark
Terry Glenn
Lost:
Antowain Smith
LJ Smith
Chris Henry
12/7 Acquired
Greg Jones
Fred Taylor
Lost:
Brian Westbrook
Kevan Barlow
In all, Radcliffe reshaped his team with guys like Carnell Williams, Mike Anderson, Reggie Wayne, Terry Glenn, and Fred Taylor. The moves paid off. Despite losing five in a row and sucking it up with a 2-5 record, the team was about to go off. For seven straight weeks, The Octagon kept winning games. A single loss could very well eliminate them from the playoffs, and yet the win streak rolled on.
The wins were nailbiters in several weeks. Only 2.75 points separated ChamPeons and The Octagon in week 9; 1.25 points in week 12 against Cellar Dwellers; 6.25 points in week 13 against Madd Skillz; and 7.75 points in week 14 against Sex Panther. The last victory mirrored the underdog upset of last season’s playoff clinching win in the last game of the season against the Gun’s team. The Octagon had clawed and scratched its way to the playoffs for the second consecutive season.
In the first round, JR found himself up against Cellar Dwellers – a team they had split the regular season against. Unfortunately for The Octagon the fuel tank ran out as key players such as Trent Green, Carnell Williams, and Terry Glenn only managed single digits. The result was a 99.25-85.75 loss to Stem’s squad.
Round two would prove to be happier times. All of the aforementioned players scored 12.00 points plus in route to a murdering of the hapless Blaine Browns. With their 125.25-60.50 doubling up of Wolf’s team, The Octagon secured a third place finish in the VUFSA’s second football season. Not too bad for a team that was 2-5.
So with two top three finishes in fantasy football can JR take the leap and win the VUFSA Super Bowl? So long as Eli Gieryna is on the schedule the last week of the season, it sure is possible. Mike Anderson and Cadillac Williams look like locks to be back in 2006. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne would be the likely keeps in the wide receiver department. And then there’s the no brainer, Tony Gonzalez. This leaves Troy Polamalu on the outside looking in, but with the way JR feels about hair, I suspect it will be Cadillac on his way out.
Next year’s outlook? Average. Cadillac Williams has demonstrated massive inconsistency and may be a solid long term option, or he may not be. Wayne, a free agent, could be catching passes elsewhere, which would leave me with two front line receiving options along with Harrison. Marc Bulger's presence will prevent me from desperately needing a quarterback in the draft, though I will need running backs, the league's most precious commodity. Tight end will remain solid with Gonzalez. My draft slot won't allow me to make too many immediate improvements, especially with a draft like I had last season.
The Octagon. Team Extreme. This team who let momentum pull them every which way managed to have a successful 2005 campaign despite losing five games in a row and being the lowest point scorer of any winner the first two weeks of the season. Some smart trades, lots of luck, a little black magic, and a donut hole in all totaled a third place finish. Let us begin this love roller coaster by playing either the Ohio Players or the Red Hot Chili Peppers – your pick!
Keepers:
Marvin Harrison
Tony Gonzalez
Hines Ward
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Certainly nothing wrong with that group. Except it doesn’t have a quarterback. And only one running back. Ok, so it was highly unconventional. Tony Gonzalez and Andre Johnson would end up disappointing, while Tiki Barber, Hines Ward, and Marvin Harrison lived up to their keeper designation. Of these five, just two would remain on the roster at season’s end.
If I had to choose one receiver in the league that I would kiss on the mouth, it would be Marvin Harrison. He and Troy Polamalu were recipients of the JR's Mancrush Award for the 2005 football season.
Round 1: Trent Green
Round 2: JJ Arrington
Round 3: Kevan Barlow
Round 4: Lee Evans
Round 5: Cedric Benson
Round 6: Adam Vinateri
Round 7: Travis Henry
Round 8: Carson Palmer
Round 9: Marcus Robinson
Round 10: LJ Smith
Round 11: Michael Pittman
Round 12: Chester Taylor
Round 13: Ronde Barber
Round 14: Troy Polamalu
Round 15: Jason Taylor
My draft was the equivilant of a little child with diarrhea. I crapped the bed in the first round, and then continued to crap until I had no underwear left, except one pair (eighth round). I then ruined that pair later in the season.
Eww, gross. Trent Green never played up to the wonderful draft designation of – all right, I’ll let it rest. JJ Arrington was supposed to be a breakout back in Arizona. Unfortunately, Dennis Green and Arizona Cardinal tradition caught up with him. Kevan Barlow played for the worst offense in football, which oddly resulted in the offensive coordinator getting promoted to JR’s neck of the woods. Lee Evans was quiet almost all season until some huge games at the end. Cedric Benson fell behind due to a holdout and never got the starting job due to the surprising emergence of Thomas Jones as a top running back. Travis Henry did drugs. Carson Palmer was a good pick, but no one knew how good at the time. Then JR quietly got the two men he sexually craves in rounds 14 and 15.
Mostly lows. Trent Green never panned out as a first round pick and JJ Arrington was loathsome in round two. Kevan Barlow (3), Lee Evans (4) and Cedric Benson (5), nor Adam Vinatieri (6) lived up to my hopes. Carson Palmer in round 8 would have been the steal of the draft, if I kept him. In all, it was a terrible, terrible draft.
In a relatively short 14 game season, each game is tremendously important. Sometimes you play well and get the win, and occasionally, you squeak by undeservingly. In weeks 1 and 2, the latter held true for The Octagon. Scoring less than 90 points was still enough to put away Father Abraham and Fred Lane’s Wife to open the season at 2-0.
Feeling good about his early success, JR made a bold move to strengthen the team’s lackluster backfield.
Trades:
9/19 Acquired:
Brian Westbrook
Antwaan Randel El
Lost:
Carson Palmer
Travis Henry
My favorite trade was when I stole Brian Westbrook from Baron Brendel for some backup quarterback and a draft pick. Now that the season is over I have to admit, I absolutely fucking snowed his ass.
Critics thought JR took The Big Fat Guys out behind the woodshed and beat them with a steel pipe. Westbrook was shining, scoring 16.50 points in each of his first two weeks, and while Palmer was a prospect, he hardly seemed ready to be worth a top of the line Philly running back. Then a funning thing happened. The Octagon began scoring more, yet they began losing more. They put up a season high 107.25 in week 3 only to fall to Cellar Dwellers. In week 4, 93.25 was not enough to overcome Madd Skillz. Sex Panther the following week won even though The Octagon again scored 90+. The losing streak would continue with a disappointing defeat to Big Fat Guys and then finally to Blaine Browns.
My team was in an extreme depression when it faced Big Fat Guys, and that's why they lost. If they hadn't been so bummed out about losing, they never would have lost to the Fatman. On the year, JR had a 2-2 record against men who get consistent married sex, and 1-1 against Stem, who gets infinitely more unmarried sex.
The loss to the Browns, though, would be The Octagon’s last for nearly 2 months. A slew of moves helped shape the club for the stretch run.
10/18 Acquired
Antowain Smth
Jimmy Smith
Lost:
Hines Ward
Chris Perry
10/31 Acquired:
Mike Anderson
Lost:
Tony Fisher
Chester Taylor
Acquired Mike Anderson for Chester Taylor and Tony Fisher, probably my best trade since both of those running backs amounted to little while Anderson was key.
11/11 Acquired:
Reggie Wayne
Carnell Williams
Lost:
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Ironically consummated to help my keeper status and help Eli's present status, though I made the playoffs and he did not. Both Wayne and Williams will be keepers and are solid fantasy options, while Tiki is as well but aging. Hard to say how this trade pans out over time...though I'm in and Eli's not, for what that's worth.
11/23 Acquired
Marc Bulger
Lost:
Cedric Benson
12/6 Acquired
Dallas Clark
Terry Glenn
Lost:
Antowain Smith
LJ Smith
Chris Henry
12/7 Acquired
Greg Jones
Fred Taylor
Lost:
Brian Westbrook
Kevan Barlow
In all, Radcliffe reshaped his team with guys like Carnell Williams, Mike Anderson, Reggie Wayne, Terry Glenn, and Fred Taylor. The moves paid off. Despite losing five in a row and sucking it up with a 2-5 record, the team was about to go off. For seven straight weeks, The Octagon kept winning games. A single loss could very well eliminate them from the playoffs, and yet the win streak rolled on.
The wins were nailbiters in several weeks. Only 2.75 points separated ChamPeons and The Octagon in week 9; 1.25 points in week 12 against Cellar Dwellers; 6.25 points in week 13 against Madd Skillz; and 7.75 points in week 14 against Sex Panther. The last victory mirrored the underdog upset of last season’s playoff clinching win in the last game of the season against the Gun’s team. The Octagon had clawed and scratched its way to the playoffs for the second consecutive season.
In the first round, JR found himself up against Cellar Dwellers – a team they had split the regular season against. Unfortunately for The Octagon the fuel tank ran out as key players such as Trent Green, Carnell Williams, and Terry Glenn only managed single digits. The result was a 99.25-85.75 loss to Stem’s squad.
Round two would prove to be happier times. All of the aforementioned players scored 12.00 points plus in route to a murdering of the hapless Blaine Browns. With their 125.25-60.50 doubling up of Wolf’s team, The Octagon secured a third place finish in the VUFSA’s second football season. Not too bad for a team that was 2-5.
So with two top three finishes in fantasy football can JR take the leap and win the VUFSA Super Bowl? So long as Eli Gieryna is on the schedule the last week of the season, it sure is possible. Mike Anderson and Cadillac Williams look like locks to be back in 2006. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne would be the likely keeps in the wide receiver department. And then there’s the no brainer, Tony Gonzalez. This leaves Troy Polamalu on the outside looking in, but with the way JR feels about hair, I suspect it will be Cadillac on his way out.
Next year’s outlook? Average. Cadillac Williams has demonstrated massive inconsistency and may be a solid long term option, or he may not be. Wayne, a free agent, could be catching passes elsewhere, which would leave me with two front line receiving options along with Harrison. Marc Bulger's presence will prevent me from desperately needing a quarterback in the draft, though I will need running backs, the league's most precious commodity. Tight end will remain solid with Gonzalez. My draft slot won't allow me to make too many immediate improvements, especially with a draft like I had last season.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Blaine Browns: 8-6
Blaine Browns: 8-6
The Blaine Browns started the season with a shocking, earth shattering change. For the first time, owner Drew Wolf decided to forsake his traditional name of “Wolfmen” for a fantasy sports team. The world was eager to see how his new team, the Blaine Browns, would fare with this paradigm shifting switch. One thing that did remain constant were five holdovers from the Minnesota Wolfmen.
Keepers:
Drew Brees
Edgerrin James
Curtis Martin
Terrell Owens
Donald Driver
These five veterans led Wolf’s club to a second place finish in the standings in 2004, and a third place overall position once the playoffs had concluded. Drew Brees was a question mark with Philip “I’m not Eli” Rivers waiting in the wings should Brees falter. Donald Driver was a “2” receiver playing second fiddle to Javon Walker in Green Bay. The other three players were a bit more solid with Edgerrin James a stud in a high powered offense. Curtis Martin just keeps on running, and T.O. was poised for another stellar season coming off a strong Super Bowl performance.
Round 1: Warrick Dunn
Round 2: Drew Bennett
Round 3: Alge Crumpler
Round 4: Eddie Kennison
Round 5: Ruben Droughns
Round 5: Santana Moss
Round 6: Aaron Brooks
Round 7: TJ HoumanihateJR
Round 7: Lawrence Tynes
Round 8: Dwight Freeney
Round 9: Keenan McCardell
Round 10: Tory James
Round 11: Patrick Kerney
Round 12: Chris Cooley
Round 13: Derrick Blaylock
A pretty solid draft for Wolf who would make only 19 moves all season long – the bulk of which came during week 8 to offset a slew of byes. Warrick Dunn would rush for over 1,400 yards but just 4 TDs. Drew Bennett would be the biggest disappointment of the bunch battling injuries and eventually being cut from the team in week 5. Alge Crumpler was solid tight end snagging 5 TDs and 877 yards receiving. Eddie Kennision was on again and off again in a Kansas City offense that couldn’t seem to find their rhythm until that rhythm became Larry Johnson. Ruben Droughns was one of three backs in the Cleveland backfield, but he ended up winning the starting job over William Green and Lee Suggs on his way to 1,232 yards on the ground and 2 TDs. Santana Moss would have a surprisingly strong season with 1,483 yards receiving and 9TDs. The only problem came when Wolf stupidly cut Moss after week 2 because he didn’t want to give up on second round selection Drew Bennett. Idiot. A couple of late round picks panned out pretty well for the Blaine Browns with TJ HoumanIhateJR enjoying single Chad Johnson coverage, Keenan McCardell was the number one receiver after week 1, and Chris Cooley emerged as a top of the line tight end. Overall, not too shabby.
Onto the season! Yay!
The beginning sucked! Boo!
Despite averaging over 102 points in their first three games, the Blaine Browns lost them all to begin the year in a devastating 0-3 hole. In each of these weeks, BB was the fourth highest scoring team in the league and took home the prestigious “most points of any loser” title. Their ability to lose without sucking even spurned a new statistic that I’m not sure anyone except JR entirely understands called the “luck index.” The losses to Fred Lane’s Wife, Cellar Dwellers, and Madd Skillz put Wolf’s back against the wall, but in looking back at the season, none of them were “bad” (ie Chicago State) losses coming against two of the top three teams in the league. Regardless, a fourth loss would all but end the season early for a team that on paper should be competing for the playoffs.
Enter Sex Panther. Nearly as unfortunate in the early going, Eli Gieryna’s squad came into the contest at 1-2 and was looking to climb back to .500 while simultaneously digging a grave for the Browns. The fine smelling team scored 96.75, but the Browns finally broke through with 132.25. And thus two of the top teams found themselves at 1-3 and looking up in the standings.
The Browns found themselves now in the midst of the soft portion of their schedule with a chance to get back into the midst of things. Blaine squeaked out a win over the expansion Big Fat Guys (102-97.5) in week 5; throttled Who Is Ron Mexico (125.5-61.5) in week 6; and won over the fast sinking The Octagon (144.25-109) in week 7. The four game winning streak put the BB at 4-3, and, with the stench of mediocrity overwhelming the VUFSA, right back in the picture.
Week 8 came, and perhaps you did not hear about it, but the Browns were without their three starting running backs. James, Dunn, and Martin were all on bye despite being in completely different divisions, throwing Wolf into a whining frenzy. Wisely, Wolf had taken steps to protect against utter disaster signing the Patriots running back of the week Patrick Pass to the roster, and slipping Chris Cooley to RB-3 despite finishing the entire 2005 season without so much as a single carry.
Results?
Ruben Droughns: 6 points
Patrick Pass: -0.50
Chris Cooley: -1.50
Final result?
ChamPeons 108.25 and Blaine Browns 87.25.
That wasn’t even the worst news of the week as it was about this time that Terrell Owens had a few kind words to say about Brett Farve that inexplicably led to T.O.’s season coming to an end. Probably racism. Regardless, BB was without their superstar receiver. After hearing out several proposals involving Owens, it was the aforementioned ChamPeons who made the deal.
Trades:
11/16 Acquired:
Randy Moss
Chris Brown
Mike Peterson
Derrick Mason
Lost:
Terrell Owens
Michael Bennett
Eddie Kennison
Much hoopla surrounded this trade, but in the end, everybody sucked. Randy Moss’ numbers during his stay with Blaine (catches – yards – touchdowns):
Week 11: 3-40-0
Week 12: 3-28-0
Week 13: 7-74-0
Week 14: 2-18-0
Week 15: 1-28-1
Week 16: 5-72-0
Quite poopy. Mason and Kennison pretty much cancelled one another out. Chris Brown was a good pickup for Wolf as Curtis Martin would quickly succumb to injury and die. In all, nobody did much of anything despite the big names involved.
The Browns would alternate wins and losses in weeks 8 through 12 to find themselves at 6-6 with two to play. Winning out would likely get the Browns into the playoffs. A victory against Sex Panther in week 13 had Wolf at 7-6 and in very favorable position with just one game to go. The ensuing victory against Big Fat Guys finished off the regular season and put Blaine in the playoffs at 8-6. The stunning season finish for The Octagon resulted in their achieving the three seed, meaning the Browns had the undesirable first round match-up with Madd Skillz.
The playoffs? Well, I don’t want to talk about it much. The Browns were ok, Madd Skillz were awesome. The Octagon was pretty good, and the Browns were terrible. Blaine matched their fourth place regular season finish with a fourth place overall finish. Eh.
The biggest disappointment to the season was the fizzling out in the playoffs. The two worst weeks all season were the two in the playoffs. Losing for the second year in a row to the eventual champs, Madd Skillz, in the first round is tiresome. Much like reality TV. My second biggest regret is my inability to move Keenan McCardell. Despite his overachieving numbers, I didn’t move him. Fearing a San Diego shut out or an LT bonanza, I did not want to play both Brees and McCardell if at all avoidable. Much like last year when I was unable to capitalize on Curtis Martin’s success, McCardell probably could have fetched something on the market.
So what for next season? Brees looks to be the man in San Diego and despite not being flashy, he has consistently put up decent numbers for Wolf. Randy Moss was terrible, but likely will be back in ’06. Edgerrin James is a free agent, but still is a top 5 back. Donald Driver and TJ HoumanIhateJR are about equal at this point, both “2” receivers with questionable quarterback situations. Warrick Dunn and Ruben Droughns both run for a ton of yards but combined to score a whopping 6 touchdowns (Shaun Alexander managed 6 TDs in 3 weeks). And then there’s Chris Brown who lives in a bubble. By process of elimination, that means Mike Alstott is a guaranteed keeper.
The Blaine Browns started the season with a shocking, earth shattering change. For the first time, owner Drew Wolf decided to forsake his traditional name of “Wolfmen” for a fantasy sports team. The world was eager to see how his new team, the Blaine Browns, would fare with this paradigm shifting switch. One thing that did remain constant were five holdovers from the Minnesota Wolfmen.
Keepers:
Drew Brees
Edgerrin James
Curtis Martin
Terrell Owens
Donald Driver
These five veterans led Wolf’s club to a second place finish in the standings in 2004, and a third place overall position once the playoffs had concluded. Drew Brees was a question mark with Philip “I’m not Eli” Rivers waiting in the wings should Brees falter. Donald Driver was a “2” receiver playing second fiddle to Javon Walker in Green Bay. The other three players were a bit more solid with Edgerrin James a stud in a high powered offense. Curtis Martin just keeps on running, and T.O. was poised for another stellar season coming off a strong Super Bowl performance.
Round 1: Warrick Dunn
Round 2: Drew Bennett
Round 3: Alge Crumpler
Round 4: Eddie Kennison
Round 5: Ruben Droughns
Round 5: Santana Moss
Round 6: Aaron Brooks
Round 7: TJ HoumanihateJR
Round 7: Lawrence Tynes
Round 8: Dwight Freeney
Round 9: Keenan McCardell
Round 10: Tory James
Round 11: Patrick Kerney
Round 12: Chris Cooley
Round 13: Derrick Blaylock
A pretty solid draft for Wolf who would make only 19 moves all season long – the bulk of which came during week 8 to offset a slew of byes. Warrick Dunn would rush for over 1,400 yards but just 4 TDs. Drew Bennett would be the biggest disappointment of the bunch battling injuries and eventually being cut from the team in week 5. Alge Crumpler was solid tight end snagging 5 TDs and 877 yards receiving. Eddie Kennision was on again and off again in a Kansas City offense that couldn’t seem to find their rhythm until that rhythm became Larry Johnson. Ruben Droughns was one of three backs in the Cleveland backfield, but he ended up winning the starting job over William Green and Lee Suggs on his way to 1,232 yards on the ground and 2 TDs. Santana Moss would have a surprisingly strong season with 1,483 yards receiving and 9TDs. The only problem came when Wolf stupidly cut Moss after week 2 because he didn’t want to give up on second round selection Drew Bennett. Idiot. A couple of late round picks panned out pretty well for the Blaine Browns with TJ HoumanIhateJR enjoying single Chad Johnson coverage, Keenan McCardell was the number one receiver after week 1, and Chris Cooley emerged as a top of the line tight end. Overall, not too shabby.
Onto the season! Yay!
The beginning sucked! Boo!
Despite averaging over 102 points in their first three games, the Blaine Browns lost them all to begin the year in a devastating 0-3 hole. In each of these weeks, BB was the fourth highest scoring team in the league and took home the prestigious “most points of any loser” title. Their ability to lose without sucking even spurned a new statistic that I’m not sure anyone except JR entirely understands called the “luck index.” The losses to Fred Lane’s Wife, Cellar Dwellers, and Madd Skillz put Wolf’s back against the wall, but in looking back at the season, none of them were “bad” (ie Chicago State) losses coming against two of the top three teams in the league. Regardless, a fourth loss would all but end the season early for a team that on paper should be competing for the playoffs.
Enter Sex Panther. Nearly as unfortunate in the early going, Eli Gieryna’s squad came into the contest at 1-2 and was looking to climb back to .500 while simultaneously digging a grave for the Browns. The fine smelling team scored 96.75, but the Browns finally broke through with 132.25. And thus two of the top teams found themselves at 1-3 and looking up in the standings.
The Browns found themselves now in the midst of the soft portion of their schedule with a chance to get back into the midst of things. Blaine squeaked out a win over the expansion Big Fat Guys (102-97.5) in week 5; throttled Who Is Ron Mexico (125.5-61.5) in week 6; and won over the fast sinking The Octagon (144.25-109) in week 7. The four game winning streak put the BB at 4-3, and, with the stench of mediocrity overwhelming the VUFSA, right back in the picture.
Week 8 came, and perhaps you did not hear about it, but the Browns were without their three starting running backs. James, Dunn, and Martin were all on bye despite being in completely different divisions, throwing Wolf into a whining frenzy. Wisely, Wolf had taken steps to protect against utter disaster signing the Patriots running back of the week Patrick Pass to the roster, and slipping Chris Cooley to RB-3 despite finishing the entire 2005 season without so much as a single carry.
Results?
Ruben Droughns: 6 points
Patrick Pass: -0.50
Chris Cooley: -1.50
Final result?
ChamPeons 108.25 and Blaine Browns 87.25.
That wasn’t even the worst news of the week as it was about this time that Terrell Owens had a few kind words to say about Brett Farve that inexplicably led to T.O.’s season coming to an end. Probably racism. Regardless, BB was without their superstar receiver. After hearing out several proposals involving Owens, it was the aforementioned ChamPeons who made the deal.
Trades:
11/16 Acquired:
Randy Moss
Chris Brown
Mike Peterson
Derrick Mason
Lost:
Terrell Owens
Michael Bennett
Eddie Kennison
Much hoopla surrounded this trade, but in the end, everybody sucked. Randy Moss’ numbers during his stay with Blaine (catches – yards – touchdowns):
Week 11: 3-40-0
Week 12: 3-28-0
Week 13: 7-74-0
Week 14: 2-18-0
Week 15: 1-28-1
Week 16: 5-72-0
Quite poopy. Mason and Kennison pretty much cancelled one another out. Chris Brown was a good pickup for Wolf as Curtis Martin would quickly succumb to injury and die. In all, nobody did much of anything despite the big names involved.
The Browns would alternate wins and losses in weeks 8 through 12 to find themselves at 6-6 with two to play. Winning out would likely get the Browns into the playoffs. A victory against Sex Panther in week 13 had Wolf at 7-6 and in very favorable position with just one game to go. The ensuing victory against Big Fat Guys finished off the regular season and put Blaine in the playoffs at 8-6. The stunning season finish for The Octagon resulted in their achieving the three seed, meaning the Browns had the undesirable first round match-up with Madd Skillz.
The playoffs? Well, I don’t want to talk about it much. The Browns were ok, Madd Skillz were awesome. The Octagon was pretty good, and the Browns were terrible. Blaine matched their fourth place regular season finish with a fourth place overall finish. Eh.
The biggest disappointment to the season was the fizzling out in the playoffs. The two worst weeks all season were the two in the playoffs. Losing for the second year in a row to the eventual champs, Madd Skillz, in the first round is tiresome. Much like reality TV. My second biggest regret is my inability to move Keenan McCardell. Despite his overachieving numbers, I didn’t move him. Fearing a San Diego shut out or an LT bonanza, I did not want to play both Brees and McCardell if at all avoidable. Much like last year when I was unable to capitalize on Curtis Martin’s success, McCardell probably could have fetched something on the market.
So what for next season? Brees looks to be the man in San Diego and despite not being flashy, he has consistently put up decent numbers for Wolf. Randy Moss was terrible, but likely will be back in ’06. Edgerrin James is a free agent, but still is a top 5 back. Donald Driver and TJ HoumanIhateJR are about equal at this point, both “2” receivers with questionable quarterback situations. Warrick Dunn and Ruben Droughns both run for a ton of yards but combined to score a whopping 6 touchdowns (Shaun Alexander managed 6 TDs in 3 weeks). And then there’s Chris Brown who lives in a bubble. By process of elimination, that means Mike Alstott is a guaranteed keeper.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Sex Panther: 7-7
Sex Panther: 7-7
Let’s begin telling the tale of one, Eli Gieryna, by first looking back at the end to the previous season. An end to a heartbreaking 2004 campaign written in first person by one, JR Radcliffe:
Enter the last week of the season, when Gun is facing my team (I Miss My Pants) for the right to enter the playoffs and both of us sporting 7-6 records. Gun needs to win or get a loss from Ed's team (Madd Skillz), who happens to be playing the first place team (Fightin' Humanzees, hosted by Andy Viano). As it turned out, Ed would win in a pretty close game in upset fashion, but nothing compared to how close the match was between Gun and myself.
That match was a final score of 118.75 to 118.25. One-half point. One half point is overcome by one receiver's catch, two completed quarterback passes, one defensive tackle, any running back getting the necessary yardage to have a pack of 10, one extra point by a kicker.
On Monday night of that week, receiver Drew Bennett (on my team) came out of NOWHERE to have one of the best weeks of any receiver in all of 2005. He wound up with 33 points, of which I needed every increment to win, and I also got fairly lucky performances from scrubbing backs Jerome Bettis (17.50) and Nick Goings (16) to win that week. But every single player mattered, every extra point and defensive tackle and rushing day and receiving day, because the end result was a mere half point.
Oh and that's not all. In the same Monday night game that Bennett lit up the world, Derrick Mason of Tennesee (who was on The Gun's team) had a late reception that would have tipped the scales the other way. But it was overturned by instant replay. At this point, my incorrect math told me that I had already lost, and I was in bed before this play came to fruition.
Different circumstances in any one of those losses means he gets in. This was the difference between The Gun getting into the playoffs or not.
So close. Yet so far. Actually, more close than far. Regardless, the highest scoring team of 2004 was gearing up for 2005. It couldn’t be any worse than losing by half a point on the last game of the regular season. Could it?
Keepers:
Daunte Culpepper
Willis McGahee
Torry Holt
Ahman Green
Steven Jackson
That’s a darn good looking list of players to start 2005 with. Daunte Culpepper had just had a monster year. The Gun managed to hold onto three strong starting running backs in a league where if you are not at least three deep, you aren’t going to make it. Steven Jackson survived the expansion draft (somehow). Ahman Green was in a high powered offense that was looking to put Brett Farve out a winner. Willis McGahee was fresh off of his breakout season. And Torry Holt was the best receiver in a “genius” Mike Martz (now on the Minnesota list of coaches! Hurray!) offense. Things were looking mighty tasty heading into the real draft. And by real, I mean fantasy.
Round 1: Carnell Williams
Round 2: Michael Clayton
Round 3: Isaac Bruce
Round 4: Deion Branch
Round 5: TJ Duckett
Round 6: Steve McNair
Round 7: Mike Vanderjagt
Round 8: Jermaine Wiggins
Round 9: Donte Stallworth
Round 10: Najeh Davenport
Round 11: Steve Foley
Round 12: Travis Taylor
Round 13: Kevin Williams
Round 14: Ben Troupe
Round 15: Nick Barnett
Looking back on things, my draft wasn't good. At all. I had some injuries, but I got most of my team's value from previous keepers or via trades. Maybe I'll do better next year.
Overall, not an particularly outstanding draft. Obviously Carnell Williams was the best of the bunch getting off to a hot start:
Week 1: 20.00
Week 2: 18.00
Week 3: 15.50
Later he would become injured, missing significant parts of the season before ultimately turning into Tiki Barber.
Cadillac Williams going down for a few weeks and then being gimpy upon his return likely cost me a win at some point, and therefore a berth in the playoffs. That's the most significant one, and damn him and his herpes.
Michael Clayton would finish 2005 with 48 fewer receptions, 821 fewer yards, and 7 fewer touchdowns than in ’04. Looking back, I regret Brandon Stokley as Michael Clayton was a far bigger drop off and bigger disappointment than the Colts wide receiver who did not find the end zone all season.
Isaac Bruce is old. Kevin Curtis is not.
Deion Branch played really well in the Super Bowl. He played pretty well the regular season.
TJ Duckett was a short yardage touchdown back who missed several games.
But what do these last four players have in common? They were marvelously packaged away to other VUFSA teams for far better players. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights:
Trades:
9/15 Acquired:
Reggie Wayne
Lost:
Issac Bruce
TJ Duckett
9/19 Acquired:
Thomas Jones
Antonio Gates
Lost:
Ahman Green
Michael Clayton
10/4 Acquired:
Clinton Portis
Frank Gore
Lost:
Daunte Culpepper
Mewelde Moore
11/11 Acquired:
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Lost:
Carnell Williams
Reggie Wayne
11/16 Aquired:
Rod Smith
Lost:
Andre Johnson
11/23 Acquired
Cedric Benson
Lost:
Marc Bulger
11/25 Acquired
Kerry Collins
Lost:
Cedric Benson
Steve McNair
Perhaps what impresses me the most about The Gun’s dealings are his timing. He always seems to know when to ditch a player before it’s too late. Isaac Bruce had a solid ’04 and was a name. Eli uses a short yardage back to package with Bruce for Reggie Wayne who took all of Brandon Stokley’s plays in Indy this year. He moved Michael Clayton after week 2 in what became the most lopsided trade of the season. Who deals their second round pick and a keeper running back after two weeks? The Gun, that’s who! And he had Reggie Wayne, Antonio Gates, and Thomas Jones to show for it.
Later, Daunte Culpepper would set sail from Sex Panther after totally sucking. The Gun managed to make that move before Culpepper’s value was completely gone – or his knee for that matter. Packaged with a mediocre, platooning Minnesota running back, Culpepper became Clinton Portis.
Oh, need the NFL’s second leading rusher? Alright, let’s go get Tiki Barber. Sure, it cost him Carnell Williams, but still!
It was these stellar trades that landed the Gun in third place of the GM of the year vote. I whole heartedly believe that if Morris doesn’t exist (more later), that third instantly becomes a second if not higher.
The year began on the wrong foot with a 114.50-87.50 L to Madd Skillz. Even before knowing that Madd Skillz would compile the best team in the universe, this was still an understandable loss. Skillz, consistently good in every fantasy sport and football champ from a year ago, was not a completely unexpected loss. Culpepper threw three interceptions on his way to a negative 4.50 performance and Michael Clayton only had 4 points. Surely it was a first week fluke for these two and next week things would get back on track.
It did not, however. The lowly Who Is Ron Mexico club pulled off the greatest upset in VUFSA history 95.25-85.75 L. Daunte was overwhelmed with Lake Minnetonka boat plans and lost his focus, throwing 5 INTs (at least he got half a point back with a solo tackle). Reggie Wayne, Willis McGahee, and Ahman Green all disappointed with single digit performances. The Gun began to squirm with his team at 0-2 and struggling offensively.
Those struggles, though, would be swept away in week 3. Sex Panther nearly doubled their two week output with a monstrous 163.75 affair against a defenseless Big Fat Guys. With the win, the squad was 1-2 heading into a matchup with the 0-3 Blaine Browns.
SP would put up 96.75 in a solid yet unspectacular effort, resulting in a loss to throw the club back down to 1-3.
Desperately needing wins, the Gun’s team would respond with a three game winning streak blowing by The Octagon, ChamPeons, and Father Abraham – posting 100+ in each of the contests. Sex Panther was above .500 for the first time, and at 4-3 in a slop full of mediocrity, the playoffs were in sight.
The up and down Fred Lane’s Wife was up next, and Sex Panther managed to eek out a win. From Edwin’s weekly recap:
Survived a thundering by the slimmest of margins. Registers the high score for the week, so it's not as if they got lucky by holding on on MNF...I'm going to say this now: this win clinches a playoff berth for SP. This was an enormous win, because a loss drops them to 4-4 with a horrendous bye week on deck. As is, they'll get past their worst bye above .500, and get the favor returned when they face a bye-depleted team in week 10. This win over a major playoff contender will loom large down the stretch, should SP falter once more.
At 5-3, things were going swimmingly. Sex Panther was getting ready for their upcoming match-up with Cellar Dwellers when something silly occurred. Thursday morning, I happened to be talking with the owner of The Octagon when I clicked our beloved fantasy league to make some great point when I realized the standings had been switched. Upon further inspection, Eli moved down and Viano up. What the hell? After consuming a brownie, JR wisely thought to check scoring changes. Sure enough, there was a name that would now forever be etched in our brains on the list. A forced fumble, sack, and a tackle had been ripped away from Bertrand Berry in a “scoring error.” The difference was enough to change the outcome of the three days in the books game and send everyone on a different wave of emotions.
Drew: “I have no idea what happened or how this will play out, but it does look as if there might have been confusion as to who made the play(s). I'm not sure why it took until Thursday to solve the situation, but I just hope for The Gun's sake that Berry gets the points back.”
Eli: “There's still a chance I won't hang myself at midnight, too.”
Viano: “Gentlemen, I think I forgot to inform you all that this past monday I left VU and took a job at the Elias Sports Bureau. So, there is that.”
JR: “I’m going to eat another brownie and then e-mail Yahoo.”
JR’s inquiry would lead us to another unforgettable character, the robot-y sounding Morris. Morris would say in many words, “Eat shit, Eli.” And the damage was done.
Hampered by a bye week and physically, emotionally, and spiritually distraught over the Bertrand Berry debacle, Eli was no match for Cellar Dwellers who won 115.75-101.00. Nine days prior, the Gun was at 5-3 and sitting comfortably in a playoff position. Now, Sex Panther was at 4-5 and tied with 16 other teams. There was no time to weep, though, it was time to win! And win SP did!
Sex Panther went on their second three game winning streak of the season knocking off the two expansion franchises before gaining revenge for the week 1 loss beating Madd Skillz 120.50-92.25 W. Again SP was above .500 at 7-5, and had a whole host of scenarios over the last two weeks that would clinch him a playoff spot.
Week 13 brought the Blaine Browns to town. BB was competing for a spot of their own in the postseason. Both teams put up 100+ but in the end it was BB winning 113.75-104.25. No biggie, though. If JR lost against the Madd Skillz juggernaut, SP would be fine. One problem, JR didn’t lose. The noose grew tighter.
For the second consecutive season, an Eli Gieryna versus JR Radcliffe war would on the final day of the season determine which of the two would make the playoffs and which would not. The stage was set. The game was ready. Game on!
(Insert exciting video highlight package)
Game over! 133.50-125.75, the season was a loss. Sex Panther lost their last two regular season games to complete the year at 7-7 and one game back of Blaine Browns (against whom SP would have won the tie breaker) for the fourth and final playoff position.
There is some debate about just how bad we should feel for poor Eli.
Let’s get him a tissue’s argument:
-He scored the second most points in the league and didn’t get in.
-Last year he scored the most points in the league and didn’t get in, and that’s not right to have this happen to years in a row.
-He did beat eventual champion Madd Skillz
-First person to ever lose a game on THURSDAY
-Opponents put up 100+ 5 times
-Only had one opponent roll over and die with less than 70 points
Morris and the football gods’ argument:
-It’s head-to-head and total points are secondary to weekly excellence
-Lost to Who Is Ron Mexico, an expansion team
-Didn’t draft overly well
-Faced the 3rd easiest schedule, per opponent wins and losses
-Faced only the 5th highest opponent scoring average
Regardless of the debate, it doesn’t change the fact that he again by the narrowest of margins missed the playoffs to JR Radcliffe.
Fucking shit. What a miserable year. Thanks for making me relive this, Drew.
And so let us examine what 2006 holds for The Gun in fantasy football. I predict that we will know his fate early on when the schedule comes out. If JR is on there for week 14, it’s over. Anyone else and he’s in the playoffs.
The drastically overhauled roster looks nothing like it did at the start of the season presenting a whole new group of players to keeper consideration.
My keepers for sure are Steven Jackson, Tiki Barber, Antonio Gates, Torry Holt and then either Willis McGahee or Clinton Portis. Willis pissed me off -- but there is likely to be a regime change in Buffalo this year. I'll wait to see who is hired and base things off that. If Mike Martz gets the job, Willis gets kicked to the curb.
Overall, though, things should be just fine for Sex Panther.
Well, I think I look good. Handsome, even, in this new Express sweater. Oh ... my team. I think I have a great core of keepers, and I'll have a top five draft pick again, which I'll probably use to solidify the quarterback spot. I think I have a really good shot to wind up in second place behind Ed. Anyway, I should probably go get drunk now that I've relived all of this. That could be a problem since I'm at work, but WhaTeV.
Let’s begin telling the tale of one, Eli Gieryna, by first looking back at the end to the previous season. An end to a heartbreaking 2004 campaign written in first person by one, JR Radcliffe:
Enter the last week of the season, when Gun is facing my team (I Miss My Pants) for the right to enter the playoffs and both of us sporting 7-6 records. Gun needs to win or get a loss from Ed's team (Madd Skillz), who happens to be playing the first place team (Fightin' Humanzees, hosted by Andy Viano). As it turned out, Ed would win in a pretty close game in upset fashion, but nothing compared to how close the match was between Gun and myself.
That match was a final score of 118.75 to 118.25. One-half point. One half point is overcome by one receiver's catch, two completed quarterback passes, one defensive tackle, any running back getting the necessary yardage to have a pack of 10, one extra point by a kicker.
On Monday night of that week, receiver Drew Bennett (on my team) came out of NOWHERE to have one of the best weeks of any receiver in all of 2005. He wound up with 33 points, of which I needed every increment to win, and I also got fairly lucky performances from scrubbing backs Jerome Bettis (17.50) and Nick Goings (16) to win that week. But every single player mattered, every extra point and defensive tackle and rushing day and receiving day, because the end result was a mere half point.
Oh and that's not all. In the same Monday night game that Bennett lit up the world, Derrick Mason of Tennesee (who was on The Gun's team) had a late reception that would have tipped the scales the other way. But it was overturned by instant replay. At this point, my incorrect math told me that I had already lost, and I was in bed before this play came to fruition.
Different circumstances in any one of those losses means he gets in. This was the difference between The Gun getting into the playoffs or not.
So close. Yet so far. Actually, more close than far. Regardless, the highest scoring team of 2004 was gearing up for 2005. It couldn’t be any worse than losing by half a point on the last game of the regular season. Could it?
Keepers:
Daunte Culpepper
Willis McGahee
Torry Holt
Ahman Green
Steven Jackson
That’s a darn good looking list of players to start 2005 with. Daunte Culpepper had just had a monster year. The Gun managed to hold onto three strong starting running backs in a league where if you are not at least three deep, you aren’t going to make it. Steven Jackson survived the expansion draft (somehow). Ahman Green was in a high powered offense that was looking to put Brett Farve out a winner. Willis McGahee was fresh off of his breakout season. And Torry Holt was the best receiver in a “genius” Mike Martz (now on the Minnesota list of coaches! Hurray!) offense. Things were looking mighty tasty heading into the real draft. And by real, I mean fantasy.
Round 1: Carnell Williams
Round 2: Michael Clayton
Round 3: Isaac Bruce
Round 4: Deion Branch
Round 5: TJ Duckett
Round 6: Steve McNair
Round 7: Mike Vanderjagt
Round 8: Jermaine Wiggins
Round 9: Donte Stallworth
Round 10: Najeh Davenport
Round 11: Steve Foley
Round 12: Travis Taylor
Round 13: Kevin Williams
Round 14: Ben Troupe
Round 15: Nick Barnett
Looking back on things, my draft wasn't good. At all. I had some injuries, but I got most of my team's value from previous keepers or via trades. Maybe I'll do better next year.
Overall, not an particularly outstanding draft. Obviously Carnell Williams was the best of the bunch getting off to a hot start:
Week 1: 20.00
Week 2: 18.00
Week 3: 15.50
Later he would become injured, missing significant parts of the season before ultimately turning into Tiki Barber.
Cadillac Williams going down for a few weeks and then being gimpy upon his return likely cost me a win at some point, and therefore a berth in the playoffs. That's the most significant one, and damn him and his herpes.
Michael Clayton would finish 2005 with 48 fewer receptions, 821 fewer yards, and 7 fewer touchdowns than in ’04. Looking back, I regret Brandon Stokley as Michael Clayton was a far bigger drop off and bigger disappointment than the Colts wide receiver who did not find the end zone all season.
Isaac Bruce is old. Kevin Curtis is not.
Deion Branch played really well in the Super Bowl. He played pretty well the regular season.
TJ Duckett was a short yardage touchdown back who missed several games.
But what do these last four players have in common? They were marvelously packaged away to other VUFSA teams for far better players. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights:
Trades:
9/15 Acquired:
Reggie Wayne
Lost:
Issac Bruce
TJ Duckett
9/19 Acquired:
Thomas Jones
Antonio Gates
Lost:
Ahman Green
Michael Clayton
10/4 Acquired:
Clinton Portis
Frank Gore
Lost:
Daunte Culpepper
Mewelde Moore
11/11 Acquired:
Tiki Barber
Andre Johnson
Lost:
Carnell Williams
Reggie Wayne
11/16 Aquired:
Rod Smith
Lost:
Andre Johnson
11/23 Acquired
Cedric Benson
Lost:
Marc Bulger
11/25 Acquired
Kerry Collins
Lost:
Cedric Benson
Steve McNair
Perhaps what impresses me the most about The Gun’s dealings are his timing. He always seems to know when to ditch a player before it’s too late. Isaac Bruce had a solid ’04 and was a name. Eli uses a short yardage back to package with Bruce for Reggie Wayne who took all of Brandon Stokley’s plays in Indy this year. He moved Michael Clayton after week 2 in what became the most lopsided trade of the season. Who deals their second round pick and a keeper running back after two weeks? The Gun, that’s who! And he had Reggie Wayne, Antonio Gates, and Thomas Jones to show for it.
Later, Daunte Culpepper would set sail from Sex Panther after totally sucking. The Gun managed to make that move before Culpepper’s value was completely gone – or his knee for that matter. Packaged with a mediocre, platooning Minnesota running back, Culpepper became Clinton Portis.
Oh, need the NFL’s second leading rusher? Alright, let’s go get Tiki Barber. Sure, it cost him Carnell Williams, but still!
It was these stellar trades that landed the Gun in third place of the GM of the year vote. I whole heartedly believe that if Morris doesn’t exist (more later), that third instantly becomes a second if not higher.
The year began on the wrong foot with a 114.50-87.50 L to Madd Skillz. Even before knowing that Madd Skillz would compile the best team in the universe, this was still an understandable loss. Skillz, consistently good in every fantasy sport and football champ from a year ago, was not a completely unexpected loss. Culpepper threw three interceptions on his way to a negative 4.50 performance and Michael Clayton only had 4 points. Surely it was a first week fluke for these two and next week things would get back on track.
It did not, however. The lowly Who Is Ron Mexico club pulled off the greatest upset in VUFSA history 95.25-85.75 L. Daunte was overwhelmed with Lake Minnetonka boat plans and lost his focus, throwing 5 INTs (at least he got half a point back with a solo tackle). Reggie Wayne, Willis McGahee, and Ahman Green all disappointed with single digit performances. The Gun began to squirm with his team at 0-2 and struggling offensively.
Those struggles, though, would be swept away in week 3. Sex Panther nearly doubled their two week output with a monstrous 163.75 affair against a defenseless Big Fat Guys. With the win, the squad was 1-2 heading into a matchup with the 0-3 Blaine Browns.
SP would put up 96.75 in a solid yet unspectacular effort, resulting in a loss to throw the club back down to 1-3.
Desperately needing wins, the Gun’s team would respond with a three game winning streak blowing by The Octagon, ChamPeons, and Father Abraham – posting 100+ in each of the contests. Sex Panther was above .500 for the first time, and at 4-3 in a slop full of mediocrity, the playoffs were in sight.
The up and down Fred Lane’s Wife was up next, and Sex Panther managed to eek out a win. From Edwin’s weekly recap:
Survived a thundering by the slimmest of margins. Registers the high score for the week, so it's not as if they got lucky by holding on on MNF...I'm going to say this now: this win clinches a playoff berth for SP. This was an enormous win, because a loss drops them to 4-4 with a horrendous bye week on deck. As is, they'll get past their worst bye above .500, and get the favor returned when they face a bye-depleted team in week 10. This win over a major playoff contender will loom large down the stretch, should SP falter once more.
At 5-3, things were going swimmingly. Sex Panther was getting ready for their upcoming match-up with Cellar Dwellers when something silly occurred. Thursday morning, I happened to be talking with the owner of The Octagon when I clicked our beloved fantasy league to make some great point when I realized the standings had been switched. Upon further inspection, Eli moved down and Viano up. What the hell? After consuming a brownie, JR wisely thought to check scoring changes. Sure enough, there was a name that would now forever be etched in our brains on the list. A forced fumble, sack, and a tackle had been ripped away from Bertrand Berry in a “scoring error.” The difference was enough to change the outcome of the three days in the books game and send everyone on a different wave of emotions.
Drew: “I have no idea what happened or how this will play out, but it does look as if there might have been confusion as to who made the play(s). I'm not sure why it took until Thursday to solve the situation, but I just hope for The Gun's sake that Berry gets the points back.”
Eli: “There's still a chance I won't hang myself at midnight, too.”
Viano: “Gentlemen, I think I forgot to inform you all that this past monday I left VU and took a job at the Elias Sports Bureau. So, there is that.”
JR: “I’m going to eat another brownie and then e-mail Yahoo.”
JR’s inquiry would lead us to another unforgettable character, the robot-y sounding Morris. Morris would say in many words, “Eat shit, Eli.” And the damage was done.
Hampered by a bye week and physically, emotionally, and spiritually distraught over the Bertrand Berry debacle, Eli was no match for Cellar Dwellers who won 115.75-101.00. Nine days prior, the Gun was at 5-3 and sitting comfortably in a playoff position. Now, Sex Panther was at 4-5 and tied with 16 other teams. There was no time to weep, though, it was time to win! And win SP did!
Sex Panther went on their second three game winning streak of the season knocking off the two expansion franchises before gaining revenge for the week 1 loss beating Madd Skillz 120.50-92.25 W. Again SP was above .500 at 7-5, and had a whole host of scenarios over the last two weeks that would clinch him a playoff spot.
Week 13 brought the Blaine Browns to town. BB was competing for a spot of their own in the postseason. Both teams put up 100+ but in the end it was BB winning 113.75-104.25. No biggie, though. If JR lost against the Madd Skillz juggernaut, SP would be fine. One problem, JR didn’t lose. The noose grew tighter.
For the second consecutive season, an Eli Gieryna versus JR Radcliffe war would on the final day of the season determine which of the two would make the playoffs and which would not. The stage was set. The game was ready. Game on!
(Insert exciting video highlight package)
Game over! 133.50-125.75, the season was a loss. Sex Panther lost their last two regular season games to complete the year at 7-7 and one game back of Blaine Browns (against whom SP would have won the tie breaker) for the fourth and final playoff position.
There is some debate about just how bad we should feel for poor Eli.
Let’s get him a tissue’s argument:
-He scored the second most points in the league and didn’t get in.
-Last year he scored the most points in the league and didn’t get in, and that’s not right to have this happen to years in a row.
-He did beat eventual champion Madd Skillz
-First person to ever lose a game on THURSDAY
-Opponents put up 100+ 5 times
-Only had one opponent roll over and die with less than 70 points
Morris and the football gods’ argument:
-It’s head-to-head and total points are secondary to weekly excellence
-Lost to Who Is Ron Mexico, an expansion team
-Didn’t draft overly well
-Faced the 3rd easiest schedule, per opponent wins and losses
-Faced only the 5th highest opponent scoring average
Regardless of the debate, it doesn’t change the fact that he again by the narrowest of margins missed the playoffs to JR Radcliffe.
Fucking shit. What a miserable year. Thanks for making me relive this, Drew.
And so let us examine what 2006 holds for The Gun in fantasy football. I predict that we will know his fate early on when the schedule comes out. If JR is on there for week 14, it’s over. Anyone else and he’s in the playoffs.
The drastically overhauled roster looks nothing like it did at the start of the season presenting a whole new group of players to keeper consideration.
My keepers for sure are Steven Jackson, Tiki Barber, Antonio Gates, Torry Holt and then either Willis McGahee or Clinton Portis. Willis pissed me off -- but there is likely to be a regime change in Buffalo this year. I'll wait to see who is hired and base things off that. If Mike Martz gets the job, Willis gets kicked to the curb.
Overall, though, things should be just fine for Sex Panther.
Well, I think I look good. Handsome, even, in this new Express sweater. Oh ... my team. I think I have a great core of keepers, and I'll have a top five draft pick again, which I'll probably use to solidify the quarterback spot. I think I have a really good shot to wind up in second place behind Ed. Anyway, I should probably go get drunk now that I've relived all of this. That could be a problem since I'm at work, but WhaTeV.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Fred Lane's Wife: 7-7
Fred Lane’s Wife: 7-7
Andy Viano's 2006 season featured several ups and downs with strong scoring performances followed by duds and superstars succumbing to injury. The team competed admirably against the best of VUFSA, going 3-3 against playoff bound teams. The end result was a .500 campaign that toyed with the playoffs only to fall a game short of reaching the final four. That the team was just a game back is a testament to the strong moves made by owner Andy Viano. And so it begins...
Keepers:
Peyton Manning
Javon Walker
Corey Dillon
Duece McCallister
Darrell Jackson
Knowing what we do with the 2006 season in the books, one can cringe knowing the injurous fate to await these players. Javon Walker’s entire contribution to FLW was 4 catches for 27 yards. Darrel Jackson caught a pair of TDs and had close to 400 yards receiving in the first four weeks of the season. Then came a ten game absence due to injury during which he time he undoubtedly would have racked up big numbers in Seahawk blowouts. Corey Dillon was on again and off again all season permanently being labeled “questionable” just so Viano wouldn’t know whether or not to start him. For the year, Dillon did finish with 13 TDs, which certainly isn’t worth complaining about, but much like Jackson, one wonders the big numbers that would have come had the injuries not taken their toll. Duece McCallister’s season would end in week 5 when his leg fell off (not unlike David Akers).
That leaves one keeper to discuss and that being the second highest rated quarterback in fantasy: Kyle Orton. Oops, Peyton Manning. Peyton did manage to avoid the devastating bird flu that crippled the rest of Fred Lane’s Wife. However, his numbers were a little slow to get rocking averaging just 10 points in the first three weeks. Week 4 would mark a huge turnaround (34.00) and Peyton would go onto score 20 or more points in eight of the next ten games (oddly enough, FLW would be 0-2 in games where Peyton scored 30+).
Week 1: 22.25 (W)
Week 2: 2.25 (L)
Week 3: 5.75 (L)
Week 4: 34.00 (L)
Week 5: 10.75 (W)
Week 6: 20.50 (L)
Week 7: 16.25 (W)
Week 8: Bye (W)
Week 9: 30.00 (L)
Week 10: 29.50 (W)
Week 11: 28.50 (L)
Week 12: 16.75 (L)
Week 13: 21.25 (W)
Week 14: 24.00 (W)
Onto the draft! Huzzah!
Round 1: Ronnie Brown
Round 2: Dallas Clark
Round 3: Thomas Jones
Round 4: Jimmy Smith
Round 5: Traded away in 2004
Round 6: Jerome Bettis
Round 7: Troy Williamson
Round 8: David Carr
Round 9: Jabar Gaffney
Round 10: Eric Parker
Round 11: Kevin Faulk
Round 12: Jeff Reed
Round 13: Charles Grant
Round 14: London Fletcher
Round 15: Marcus Trufant
Supp Round 1: Antowain Smith
In the draft, a running theme for most of these non-playoff teams has been late round steals. Unless you count a kicker (and if you do you suck), FLW did not have any, which is sorta funny ‘cause if I ‘member correctly, Viano was present for the end of the draft and not for the beginning (via cell phone).
Anyway, looking at the players...Ronnie Brown started well and then tapered off once Ricky Williams smoked his way back into some carries. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next year in the Miami backfield if one back emerges or is out the door. Second rounder Dallas Clark was poopy. At the time, he figured to be a big number grabber in a high powered Colts offense. He made some plays but not until the end of the season and after Viano had given up on him. Thomas Jones, Jimmy Smith, and Jerome Bettis all proved to be strong selections contributing or becoming key names in later deals. After that, it’s a stinkfest that’s expected of later rounds. (Totally not looking at Antowain Smith’s importance later on.)
Trades:
9/14 Acquired:
Kevin Curtis
Robert Ferguson
Lost:
Thomas Jones
Troy Willamson
10/17 Acquired
Joey Galloway
Lost:
Deuce McCallister
10/18 Acquired
Hines Ward
Chris Perry
Lost:
Antowain Smith
Jimmy Smith
11/10 Acquired
Todd Heap
Lost:
Greg Jones
Taking a look at the big trades, the September 14th deal involving Thomas Jones is somewhat regrettable. In hindsight, Deuce and Dillon’s upcoming injuries would warrant Jones staying put, but at the time Cedric Benson was looking like he was going to get more immediate playing time limiting Jones’ appeal. Not hard to see why the deal was made at the time.
The October 17th switch to acquire Joey Galloway signaled a change of position for FLW. With injuries quickly mounting and the team at 2-4, all signs pointed toward Viano building for next year. This trade changed that and put on a green light for the rest of the season. McCallister was lost for the year, and instead of sitting on him, Viano moved him for a surprising superstar at wide out, Joey Galloway. The deal recommitted Viano to the 2005 season and very nearly was the catalyst that got them into the playoffs.
One day later, Viano pulled the trigger on another deal moving his Jacksonville wide receiver for a Pittsburgh one. And as such the team was set for the playoff push.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, let’s start the game recap portion of the year in review back at week 1. Or should I say August 29th at 5:09pm? It was at that precise moment that a legend was born. A crowded Pittsburgh backfield of Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley was ailing and a third string player, no one had ever heard before was called into duty. The vigilant Viano snagged the back up and put him into his week 1 starting line up. And thus the legend of “Waiver Wire” Willie Parker begins.
WWW Parker rushed for 161 yards and one touchdown while catching one pass for 48 yards on his way to an impressive 24.50 score. For the year Willie would finish with over 1,200 rushing, and the player dropped in that initial transaction, Kevin Faulk would wallow in unimpressiveness. The rest of the team, no doubt inspired by WWW Parker, played exceptionally well too. Thomas Jones, Deuce McCallister, Corey Dillon, Jimmy Smith, and Peyton Manning would all post double digits on their way to a 154.25 - 92.00 blowout of the Blaine Browns.
The superb start would disappointingly diminish in week 2. FLW managed just 62.25 points -- less than the three highest scoring players’ combined scores in week 1. Viano’s team did manage 100+ in the next two games but still came away with losses to Father Abraham and ChamPeons. Things looked dim at 1-3, but a healthy dose of expansionism would help turn things around. Despite a lowly sub-70 point effort, week 4 would be a successful one for FLW who defeated Who Is Ron Mexico 69.25-42.00 in the Toilet Bowl. Regardless, it still was a win and moved them within a game of .500.
The team did reach the .500 mark by virtue of going 2-1 against some of the VUFSA’s toughest. A loss against Cellar Dwellers was followed by a pair of wins coming at the expense of the previously undefeated Madd Skillz and Sex Panther.
At 4-4, the team looked to by playoff bound with a schedule that saw their last six games come against teams that would finish with a combined 34-50 record and avoided second meetings with Madd Skillz, Celler Dwellers, and Sex Panther. It was at this point, though, that things fell apart.
Week 9 saw an uninspired effort against a game Big Fat Guys (75.25-71.50 L). The loss put FLW back below .500, but not in an insurmountable hole. A 20 point victory (108-88 W) against Blaine Browns again had Fred Lane’s Wife treading water at 5-5 with four to play. The resurgent Octagon again knocked FLW down (127.5-100 L). Even still, at 5-6, FLW could win out against weaker competition – ChamPeons, Father Abraham, and Who Is Ron Mexico – and have a legitimate shot at the playoffs.
Week 12 would end the hope as ChamPeons squeaked out a narrow 112.25-110.75 win. The loss combined with later Octagon and Blaine Brown victories mathematically ended FLW’s season at 14 games. Viano did manage to put up W’s the final two weeks of the year against FA and WIRM to get his team – again – to .500. The even level was one that FLW just never was able to conquer and the 1-3 hole that they dug themselves was too much to overcome. With their 7-7 record, Viano finished tied record wise with Sex Panther but losing the point tiebreaker by nearly 200 to finish in sixth place.
2006 will obviously keep Peyton Manning on Viano’s squad, so what of the other four positions? Decisions will have to be made on the two wide receivers who missed significant chunks of the 2005 campaign. Javon Walker might be without Brett Farve and Darrell Jackson without Shuan Alexander, which could impact their respective offensive outputs. Despite these two receiver’s keeper status in 2005, Viano managed to upgrade his WRs in the course of the season as Hines Ward and Joey Galloway create a logjam at the position where generally only two players get held onto. Ronnie Brown, Corey Dillon, Tatum Bell, and WWW Parker are four running backs that should all require some thought. In all there are eight players – four receivers and four backs – who can all make legitimate claims to be quality keepers for 2006. Perhaps once contracts are worked out and injuries are more fully rehabbed can Viano go about deciding on his 2006 roster.
Andy Viano's 2006 season featured several ups and downs with strong scoring performances followed by duds and superstars succumbing to injury. The team competed admirably against the best of VUFSA, going 3-3 against playoff bound teams. The end result was a .500 campaign that toyed with the playoffs only to fall a game short of reaching the final four. That the team was just a game back is a testament to the strong moves made by owner Andy Viano. And so it begins...
Keepers:
Peyton Manning
Javon Walker
Corey Dillon
Duece McCallister
Darrell Jackson
Knowing what we do with the 2006 season in the books, one can cringe knowing the injurous fate to await these players. Javon Walker’s entire contribution to FLW was 4 catches for 27 yards. Darrel Jackson caught a pair of TDs and had close to 400 yards receiving in the first four weeks of the season. Then came a ten game absence due to injury during which he time he undoubtedly would have racked up big numbers in Seahawk blowouts. Corey Dillon was on again and off again all season permanently being labeled “questionable” just so Viano wouldn’t know whether or not to start him. For the year, Dillon did finish with 13 TDs, which certainly isn’t worth complaining about, but much like Jackson, one wonders the big numbers that would have come had the injuries not taken their toll. Duece McCallister’s season would end in week 5 when his leg fell off (not unlike David Akers).
That leaves one keeper to discuss and that being the second highest rated quarterback in fantasy: Kyle Orton. Oops, Peyton Manning. Peyton did manage to avoid the devastating bird flu that crippled the rest of Fred Lane’s Wife. However, his numbers were a little slow to get rocking averaging just 10 points in the first three weeks. Week 4 would mark a huge turnaround (34.00) and Peyton would go onto score 20 or more points in eight of the next ten games (oddly enough, FLW would be 0-2 in games where Peyton scored 30+).
Week 1: 22.25 (W)
Week 2: 2.25 (L)
Week 3: 5.75 (L)
Week 4: 34.00 (L)
Week 5: 10.75 (W)
Week 6: 20.50 (L)
Week 7: 16.25 (W)
Week 8: Bye (W)
Week 9: 30.00 (L)
Week 10: 29.50 (W)
Week 11: 28.50 (L)
Week 12: 16.75 (L)
Week 13: 21.25 (W)
Week 14: 24.00 (W)
Onto the draft! Huzzah!
Round 1: Ronnie Brown
Round 2: Dallas Clark
Round 3: Thomas Jones
Round 4: Jimmy Smith
Round 5: Traded away in 2004
Round 6: Jerome Bettis
Round 7: Troy Williamson
Round 8: David Carr
Round 9: Jabar Gaffney
Round 10: Eric Parker
Round 11: Kevin Faulk
Round 12: Jeff Reed
Round 13: Charles Grant
Round 14: London Fletcher
Round 15: Marcus Trufant
Supp Round 1: Antowain Smith
In the draft, a running theme for most of these non-playoff teams has been late round steals. Unless you count a kicker (and if you do you suck), FLW did not have any, which is sorta funny ‘cause if I ‘member correctly, Viano was present for the end of the draft and not for the beginning (via cell phone).
Anyway, looking at the players...Ronnie Brown started well and then tapered off once Ricky Williams smoked his way back into some carries. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next year in the Miami backfield if one back emerges or is out the door. Second rounder Dallas Clark was poopy. At the time, he figured to be a big number grabber in a high powered Colts offense. He made some plays but not until the end of the season and after Viano had given up on him. Thomas Jones, Jimmy Smith, and Jerome Bettis all proved to be strong selections contributing or becoming key names in later deals. After that, it’s a stinkfest that’s expected of later rounds. (Totally not looking at Antowain Smith’s importance later on.)
Trades:
9/14 Acquired:
Kevin Curtis
Robert Ferguson
Lost:
Thomas Jones
Troy Willamson
10/17 Acquired
Joey Galloway
Lost:
Deuce McCallister
10/18 Acquired
Hines Ward
Chris Perry
Lost:
Antowain Smith
Jimmy Smith
11/10 Acquired
Todd Heap
Lost:
Greg Jones
Taking a look at the big trades, the September 14th deal involving Thomas Jones is somewhat regrettable. In hindsight, Deuce and Dillon’s upcoming injuries would warrant Jones staying put, but at the time Cedric Benson was looking like he was going to get more immediate playing time limiting Jones’ appeal. Not hard to see why the deal was made at the time.
The October 17th switch to acquire Joey Galloway signaled a change of position for FLW. With injuries quickly mounting and the team at 2-4, all signs pointed toward Viano building for next year. This trade changed that and put on a green light for the rest of the season. McCallister was lost for the year, and instead of sitting on him, Viano moved him for a surprising superstar at wide out, Joey Galloway. The deal recommitted Viano to the 2005 season and very nearly was the catalyst that got them into the playoffs.
One day later, Viano pulled the trigger on another deal moving his Jacksonville wide receiver for a Pittsburgh one. And as such the team was set for the playoff push.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, let’s start the game recap portion of the year in review back at week 1. Or should I say August 29th at 5:09pm? It was at that precise moment that a legend was born. A crowded Pittsburgh backfield of Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley was ailing and a third string player, no one had ever heard before was called into duty. The vigilant Viano snagged the back up and put him into his week 1 starting line up. And thus the legend of “Waiver Wire” Willie Parker begins.
WWW Parker rushed for 161 yards and one touchdown while catching one pass for 48 yards on his way to an impressive 24.50 score. For the year Willie would finish with over 1,200 rushing, and the player dropped in that initial transaction, Kevin Faulk would wallow in unimpressiveness. The rest of the team, no doubt inspired by WWW Parker, played exceptionally well too. Thomas Jones, Deuce McCallister, Corey Dillon, Jimmy Smith, and Peyton Manning would all post double digits on their way to a 154.25 - 92.00 blowout of the Blaine Browns.
The superb start would disappointingly diminish in week 2. FLW managed just 62.25 points -- less than the three highest scoring players’ combined scores in week 1. Viano’s team did manage 100+ in the next two games but still came away with losses to Father Abraham and ChamPeons. Things looked dim at 1-3, but a healthy dose of expansionism would help turn things around. Despite a lowly sub-70 point effort, week 4 would be a successful one for FLW who defeated Who Is Ron Mexico 69.25-42.00 in the Toilet Bowl. Regardless, it still was a win and moved them within a game of .500.
The team did reach the .500 mark by virtue of going 2-1 against some of the VUFSA’s toughest. A loss against Cellar Dwellers was followed by a pair of wins coming at the expense of the previously undefeated Madd Skillz and Sex Panther.
At 4-4, the team looked to by playoff bound with a schedule that saw their last six games come against teams that would finish with a combined 34-50 record and avoided second meetings with Madd Skillz, Celler Dwellers, and Sex Panther. It was at this point, though, that things fell apart.
Week 9 saw an uninspired effort against a game Big Fat Guys (75.25-71.50 L). The loss put FLW back below .500, but not in an insurmountable hole. A 20 point victory (108-88 W) against Blaine Browns again had Fred Lane’s Wife treading water at 5-5 with four to play. The resurgent Octagon again knocked FLW down (127.5-100 L). Even still, at 5-6, FLW could win out against weaker competition – ChamPeons, Father Abraham, and Who Is Ron Mexico – and have a legitimate shot at the playoffs.
Week 12 would end the hope as ChamPeons squeaked out a narrow 112.25-110.75 win. The loss combined with later Octagon and Blaine Brown victories mathematically ended FLW’s season at 14 games. Viano did manage to put up W’s the final two weeks of the year against FA and WIRM to get his team – again – to .500. The even level was one that FLW just never was able to conquer and the 1-3 hole that they dug themselves was too much to overcome. With their 7-7 record, Viano finished tied record wise with Sex Panther but losing the point tiebreaker by nearly 200 to finish in sixth place.
2006 will obviously keep Peyton Manning on Viano’s squad, so what of the other four positions? Decisions will have to be made on the two wide receivers who missed significant chunks of the 2005 campaign. Javon Walker might be without Brett Farve and Darrell Jackson without Shuan Alexander, which could impact their respective offensive outputs. Despite these two receiver’s keeper status in 2005, Viano managed to upgrade his WRs in the course of the season as Hines Ward and Joey Galloway create a logjam at the position where generally only two players get held onto. Ronnie Brown, Corey Dillon, Tatum Bell, and WWW Parker are four running backs that should all require some thought. In all there are eight players – four receivers and four backs – who can all make legitimate claims to be quality keepers for 2006. Perhaps once contracts are worked out and injuries are more fully rehabbed can Viano go about deciding on his 2006 roster.
ChamPeons: 6-8
ChamPeons: 6-8
The up and down and all around season for Brent Whitlock’s ChamPeons landed them in the lower half of the division but with a solid start to 2006. The team would finish their 2005 campaign with only one of their five original keepers. Yet, despite the outflux of players, the team managed to stay competitive at the expense of consistency. Let’s begin this edition of This Is Your Year with the keepers.
Keepers:
Randy Moss
Clinton Portis
Julius Jones
Mike Vick
*Antonio Gates
Of note, Antonio Gates wouldn’t even make it out of the expansion draft in a non-existent ChamPeons uniform. Snatched up by Ken’s Anal Adventure, Gates was gone, and Champ was without the best tight end in the league.
“I got dicked on the Antonio Gates situation. He was a holdout and that was the only reason I exposed him to the expansion draft, and he ended up being pretty good."
Not to worry, a supplementary pick fell to Champ who would turn around and use it on a guy on Norv Turner’s team. And speaking of other players in an offense Drew holds a grudge against, Randy Moss began the year with high expectations in a new supposedly pass happy Oakland offense. Several well respected publications, and The Torch too, devoted space to the “who is better” fantasy debate between Moss and Terrell Owens. Clinton Portis, fresh off a downer year, and Julius Jones, fresh off an up year, were to solidify the ground attack. Ron, er, Michael Vick was the dynamo behind center who was going to pile up the yards both through the air and on foot for Champ. Off all these mentioned, only Julius Jones would be around to celebrate Thanksgiving with the team.
“Julius Jones was a bust this season with injuries and the excellence of Marian Barber, but at the time he was a gem and perhaps the most sought after running back. I'd get an offer a week for him. He might not be the starter next year, but he'll always be a ChamPeon at heart just like Eddie Kennison” (More on Mr. Kennison later.)
Round 1: Chris Brown
Round 1a: Kerry Collins
Round 2: Derrick Mason
Round 3: Jeremy Shockey
Round 4: Duce Staley
Round 5: Rod Smith
Round 6: David Akers
Round 7: Keyshawn Johnson
Round 8: Braylon Edwards
Round 9: Derrick Brooks
Round 10: Drew Bledsoe
Round 11: Mike Peterson
Round 12: Champ Bailey
Round 13: Takeo Spikes
Round 14: Johnathan Wells
Round 15: Tank Johnson
ChamPeons’ draft fielded them several solid players but no overwhelming superstars. Whitlock took a chance in drafting Chris Brown ahead of other running backs such as Carnell Williams, Ronnie Brown, and Warrick Dunn who were the immediate picks following Brown. It’s not to say that Chris Brown wouldn’t have a solid year, but looking at Cadillac’s keeper value, Ronnie Brown’s youth, and Warrick Dunn’s consistency, it’s debatable whether a different back should have been taken with the 5th overall selection.
Interestingly, Champ opted for a backup quarterback with their supplementary pick following the Antonio Gates departure. Kerry Collins would quickly supplant Vick as starting QB, but one has to wonder if Champ had so little confidence in Vick, why not leave him unprotected in the expansion draft instead of Antonio Gates (yes, that whole holdout thing…got dicked on…etc)? The void at tight end would be filled with Champ’s third round selection of Jeremy Shockey who would last until mid-September with the club.
Second round pick Derrick Mason caught a lot of passes but not for TDs. Duce Staley never achieved what he could have if he had stayed healthy and “Waiver Wire” Willie Parker hadn’t emerged. Rod Smith played well before turning into Andre Johnson. David Akers made a kick without use of either of his legs (well that’s what Chris Berman told me). Braylon Edwards played for the Browns and that’s all you really need to know about him.
But it was a couple of late Dallas Cowboys that would make this a respectable 2005 draft. In the seventh round, Champ went with Keyshawn Johnson and in the tenth, ChamPeons welcomed their third quarterback to camp in the form of Drew Bledsoe. Their numbers on the season would speak for themselves. 71 receptions, 789 yards, and 6 TDs for Keyshawn who would fizzle as the season wore on and 3,639 yards and 23 TDs for the “other” Drew.
“Drew Bledsoe was by far my best pick. Kerry Collins was supposed to be my best pick because of the Moss connection, but he laid an egg. Chris Brown was a panic pick because I ran out of time. I don't really remember the rest too well.”
Johnson would be traded to Madd Skillz for Duce Staley (who left Champ only to return home) on November 15th, but Bledsoe actually managed to survive an entire season on ChamPeon’s roster. Other big trades Champ pulled the trigger on…
Trades:
9/11 Acquired:
WIRM’s 2nd round 2006 pick
Lost:
Mike Vick
9/19 Acquired:
Keary Colbert
Mike Williams
Frank Gore
Lance Briggs
Lost:
Jeremy Shockey
Duce Staley
DeAngelo Hall
10/4 Acquired:
Daunte Culpepper
Mewelde Moore
Lost:
Clinton Portis
Frank Gore
11/16 Acquired:
Andre Johnson
Lost:
Rod Smith
11/16 Acquired:
Eddie Kennison
Terrell Owens
Michael Bennett
Lost:
Randy Moss
Chris Brown
Derrick Mason
Mike Peterson
11/25 Acquired:
Steve McNair
Cedric Benson
Lost:
Kerry Collins
I could probably write a whole column on each of these deals due to the names involved, but I won’t largely because I’m lazy. Your thoughts, Champ?
“I made a few...some of them controversial.”
Seriously, that’s all he wrote and it’s supposed to be my big storyline for him. Sheesh. Of note, Champ wisely turned his quantity at quarterback into a 2nd round 2006 pick when LaTomke came knocking for a QB.
Jeremy Shockey left in a tough deal that saw top tight end talent depart for the second time in two months from Champ’s team.
“Disappointment?” Daunte Culpepper came aboard for Clinton Portis. This move drew criticism from VUFSA writers who wanted to know why Champ would depart with a top running back for a quarterback that would not surpass Kerry Collins or Drew Bledsoe on the depth chart.
“Clinton Portis was my biggest curse and absolutely had to be moved because he just couldn't perform under the ChamPeons banner. I'm glad he's achieving his full potential elsewhere because he sucked on my team.”
The old Rod Smith was traded away for the young Andre Johnson.
One keeper and two of Champ’s top three draft picks became a Minnesota running back, a Trent Green target, and Terrell Owens in a hotly discussed trade.
“Randy Moss had the hype, but he also had a crappy year, and I began to question whether or not he will be the receiver that he was in Minnesota in what proved to be an anemic Oakland offense.”
(Me too, Champ. Me too).
“-Anything else that you felt was important to your season:
The acquisition of Eddie Kennison. One of the greatest ChamPeons of all time.”
And finally, Kerry Collins (the other of Champ’s top three picks) packed up, took off, and high-fived Cedric Benson on his way in. Steve McNair would be rolled in later.
Needless to say (though I am anyway), the year was packed full of blockbuster deals for ChamPeons. Its impact on the year?
It began well with ChamPeons averaging 109.4 points per week on their way to a respectable 2-1 start with victories over Who Is Ron Mexico and Fred Lane’s Wife. The team that reached the four spot in the Power Rankings would then run into some stiff competition. Cellar Dwellers, Madd Skillz, and Sex Panther would combine to dump 405 points in three weeks on poor Champ dropping him to 2-4 and in danger of quickly becoming irrelevant in the league’s playoff push. Good news for Champ were that a couple of B’s were on his schedule next as Big Fat Guys and Blaine Browns fell at the hands of ChamPeons. Daunte Culpepper would lead the way with 26.75 points in week 7 and five players in double figures led by Chris Brown’s 16 would paint a win for Mr. Whitlock in week 8. At 4-4, Champ sat tied for a playoff spot with their recently defeated opponent Blaine Browns.
Unfortunately, week 8 would be as close at Champ would come to the promised land. A road trip with Todd “I don’t wear pants to bed” Ickow would put Champ a mere 4,329 miles away from Israel. The distance would be too much and his fantasy team would then begin to tumble. The Octagon would eek out a 2.75 point victory in week 9 crushing ChamPeons’ spirits and thereby leading to a week 10 disaster against Who Is Ron Mexico (91.5-75.25 L). A pair of victories against Father Abraham and Fred Lane’s Wife (one that would end FLW’s playoff prayers) would temporarily breathe some life into ChamPeons and give them some playoff potential. However, a reality check against the league’s two best squads with Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz crushing Champ on average 126.75-71.25. And so the up and down ChamPeons who alternated wins and losses the first three weeks, then went on to lose three in a row, to turn around and win two in a row, who gave those two back with two straight losses, to again win two in a row, to finally and mercifully for this sentence lose two in a row to end the season (WLWLLLWWLLWWLL).
With the merry-go-round of big names finally coming to a 2005 close, who is left for 2006? Daunte Culpepper is the biggest name on this list but comes with big question marks with a new owner, new coach, a new knee, and new sexboat in 2006. Cedric Benson, Julius Jones, and Frank Gore will compete for running time with their NFL teams next year and for keeper rights with ChamPeons. Eric Moulds, Andre Johnson, and Terrell Owens are the best of the wide receivers with two likely being held onto by Mr. Whitlock. Additionally, Champ will have the 4th overall pick in 2006 as well as two second rounders to help rebuild for next season. But don’t look for a more steady ’06 or the use of first person.
“I'm pretty much going to start from scratch. New team. New attitude. High probability of trading and working the wire…Oh, and Champ loves the Bears.”
(Side note and great Champ story that's on my mind...great excerpt from the Oakland broadcast last night that had me laughing for the first time since I heard the grave news about Mindfreak Mike Tice...
With the score 84-59 late in the second half:
Champ: With their 84 points tonight, Valpo has put up their second highest total on the season.
Ickow: What did we score at Centenary?
Pause
Ickow: Wasn't it 89?
Champ: I believe it was.
Ickow: I thought so, I may be going old and senile, but I thought it was 89. (Trying to bail Champ out...) But they will surpass 89 and it will eventually be the second highest point output of the year."
Champ: Well then the 84 is the second highest output at home.
Ickow: Yes, yes that's true.)
The up and down and all around season for Brent Whitlock’s ChamPeons landed them in the lower half of the division but with a solid start to 2006. The team would finish their 2005 campaign with only one of their five original keepers. Yet, despite the outflux of players, the team managed to stay competitive at the expense of consistency. Let’s begin this edition of This Is Your Year with the keepers.
Keepers:
Randy Moss
Clinton Portis
Julius Jones
Mike Vick
*Antonio Gates
Of note, Antonio Gates wouldn’t even make it out of the expansion draft in a non-existent ChamPeons uniform. Snatched up by Ken’s Anal Adventure, Gates was gone, and Champ was without the best tight end in the league.
“I got dicked on the Antonio Gates situation. He was a holdout and that was the only reason I exposed him to the expansion draft, and he ended up being pretty good."
Not to worry, a supplementary pick fell to Champ who would turn around and use it on a guy on Norv Turner’s team. And speaking of other players in an offense Drew holds a grudge against, Randy Moss began the year with high expectations in a new supposedly pass happy Oakland offense. Several well respected publications, and The Torch too, devoted space to the “who is better” fantasy debate between Moss and Terrell Owens. Clinton Portis, fresh off a downer year, and Julius Jones, fresh off an up year, were to solidify the ground attack. Ron, er, Michael Vick was the dynamo behind center who was going to pile up the yards both through the air and on foot for Champ. Off all these mentioned, only Julius Jones would be around to celebrate Thanksgiving with the team.
“Julius Jones was a bust this season with injuries and the excellence of Marian Barber, but at the time he was a gem and perhaps the most sought after running back. I'd get an offer a week for him. He might not be the starter next year, but he'll always be a ChamPeon at heart just like Eddie Kennison” (More on Mr. Kennison later.)
Round 1: Chris Brown
Round 1a: Kerry Collins
Round 2: Derrick Mason
Round 3: Jeremy Shockey
Round 4: Duce Staley
Round 5: Rod Smith
Round 6: David Akers
Round 7: Keyshawn Johnson
Round 8: Braylon Edwards
Round 9: Derrick Brooks
Round 10: Drew Bledsoe
Round 11: Mike Peterson
Round 12: Champ Bailey
Round 13: Takeo Spikes
Round 14: Johnathan Wells
Round 15: Tank Johnson
ChamPeons’ draft fielded them several solid players but no overwhelming superstars. Whitlock took a chance in drafting Chris Brown ahead of other running backs such as Carnell Williams, Ronnie Brown, and Warrick Dunn who were the immediate picks following Brown. It’s not to say that Chris Brown wouldn’t have a solid year, but looking at Cadillac’s keeper value, Ronnie Brown’s youth, and Warrick Dunn’s consistency, it’s debatable whether a different back should have been taken with the 5th overall selection.
Interestingly, Champ opted for a backup quarterback with their supplementary pick following the Antonio Gates departure. Kerry Collins would quickly supplant Vick as starting QB, but one has to wonder if Champ had so little confidence in Vick, why not leave him unprotected in the expansion draft instead of Antonio Gates (yes, that whole holdout thing…got dicked on…etc)? The void at tight end would be filled with Champ’s third round selection of Jeremy Shockey who would last until mid-September with the club.
Second round pick Derrick Mason caught a lot of passes but not for TDs. Duce Staley never achieved what he could have if he had stayed healthy and “Waiver Wire” Willie Parker hadn’t emerged. Rod Smith played well before turning into Andre Johnson. David Akers made a kick without use of either of his legs (well that’s what Chris Berman told me). Braylon Edwards played for the Browns and that’s all you really need to know about him.
But it was a couple of late Dallas Cowboys that would make this a respectable 2005 draft. In the seventh round, Champ went with Keyshawn Johnson and in the tenth, ChamPeons welcomed their third quarterback to camp in the form of Drew Bledsoe. Their numbers on the season would speak for themselves. 71 receptions, 789 yards, and 6 TDs for Keyshawn who would fizzle as the season wore on and 3,639 yards and 23 TDs for the “other” Drew.
“Drew Bledsoe was by far my best pick. Kerry Collins was supposed to be my best pick because of the Moss connection, but he laid an egg. Chris Brown was a panic pick because I ran out of time. I don't really remember the rest too well.”
Johnson would be traded to Madd Skillz for Duce Staley (who left Champ only to return home) on November 15th, but Bledsoe actually managed to survive an entire season on ChamPeon’s roster. Other big trades Champ pulled the trigger on…
Trades:
9/11 Acquired:
WIRM’s 2nd round 2006 pick
Lost:
Mike Vick
9/19 Acquired:
Keary Colbert
Mike Williams
Frank Gore
Lance Briggs
Lost:
Jeremy Shockey
Duce Staley
DeAngelo Hall
10/4 Acquired:
Daunte Culpepper
Mewelde Moore
Lost:
Clinton Portis
Frank Gore
11/16 Acquired:
Andre Johnson
Lost:
Rod Smith
11/16 Acquired:
Eddie Kennison
Terrell Owens
Michael Bennett
Lost:
Randy Moss
Chris Brown
Derrick Mason
Mike Peterson
11/25 Acquired:
Steve McNair
Cedric Benson
Lost:
Kerry Collins
I could probably write a whole column on each of these deals due to the names involved, but I won’t largely because I’m lazy. Your thoughts, Champ?
“I made a few...some of them controversial.”
Seriously, that’s all he wrote and it’s supposed to be my big storyline for him. Sheesh. Of note, Champ wisely turned his quantity at quarterback into a 2nd round 2006 pick when LaTomke came knocking for a QB.
Jeremy Shockey left in a tough deal that saw top tight end talent depart for the second time in two months from Champ’s team.
“Disappointment?” Daunte Culpepper came aboard for Clinton Portis. This move drew criticism from VUFSA writers who wanted to know why Champ would depart with a top running back for a quarterback that would not surpass Kerry Collins or Drew Bledsoe on the depth chart.
“Clinton Portis was my biggest curse and absolutely had to be moved because he just couldn't perform under the ChamPeons banner. I'm glad he's achieving his full potential elsewhere because he sucked on my team.”
The old Rod Smith was traded away for the young Andre Johnson.
One keeper and two of Champ’s top three draft picks became a Minnesota running back, a Trent Green target, and Terrell Owens in a hotly discussed trade.
“Randy Moss had the hype, but he also had a crappy year, and I began to question whether or not he will be the receiver that he was in Minnesota in what proved to be an anemic Oakland offense.”
(Me too, Champ. Me too).
“-Anything else that you felt was important to your season:
The acquisition of Eddie Kennison. One of the greatest ChamPeons of all time.”
And finally, Kerry Collins (the other of Champ’s top three picks) packed up, took off, and high-fived Cedric Benson on his way in. Steve McNair would be rolled in later.
Needless to say (though I am anyway), the year was packed full of blockbuster deals for ChamPeons. Its impact on the year?
It began well with ChamPeons averaging 109.4 points per week on their way to a respectable 2-1 start with victories over Who Is Ron Mexico and Fred Lane’s Wife. The team that reached the four spot in the Power Rankings would then run into some stiff competition. Cellar Dwellers, Madd Skillz, and Sex Panther would combine to dump 405 points in three weeks on poor Champ dropping him to 2-4 and in danger of quickly becoming irrelevant in the league’s playoff push. Good news for Champ were that a couple of B’s were on his schedule next as Big Fat Guys and Blaine Browns fell at the hands of ChamPeons. Daunte Culpepper would lead the way with 26.75 points in week 7 and five players in double figures led by Chris Brown’s 16 would paint a win for Mr. Whitlock in week 8. At 4-4, Champ sat tied for a playoff spot with their recently defeated opponent Blaine Browns.
Unfortunately, week 8 would be as close at Champ would come to the promised land. A road trip with Todd “I don’t wear pants to bed” Ickow would put Champ a mere 4,329 miles away from Israel. The distance would be too much and his fantasy team would then begin to tumble. The Octagon would eek out a 2.75 point victory in week 9 crushing ChamPeons’ spirits and thereby leading to a week 10 disaster against Who Is Ron Mexico (91.5-75.25 L). A pair of victories against Father Abraham and Fred Lane’s Wife (one that would end FLW’s playoff prayers) would temporarily breathe some life into ChamPeons and give them some playoff potential. However, a reality check against the league’s two best squads with Cellar Dwellers and Madd Skillz crushing Champ on average 126.75-71.25. And so the up and down ChamPeons who alternated wins and losses the first three weeks, then went on to lose three in a row, to turn around and win two in a row, who gave those two back with two straight losses, to again win two in a row, to finally and mercifully for this sentence lose two in a row to end the season (WLWLLLWWLLWWLL).
With the merry-go-round of big names finally coming to a 2005 close, who is left for 2006? Daunte Culpepper is the biggest name on this list but comes with big question marks with a new owner, new coach, a new knee, and new sexboat in 2006. Cedric Benson, Julius Jones, and Frank Gore will compete for running time with their NFL teams next year and for keeper rights with ChamPeons. Eric Moulds, Andre Johnson, and Terrell Owens are the best of the wide receivers with two likely being held onto by Mr. Whitlock. Additionally, Champ will have the 4th overall pick in 2006 as well as two second rounders to help rebuild for next season. But don’t look for a more steady ’06 or the use of first person.
“I'm pretty much going to start from scratch. New team. New attitude. High probability of trading and working the wire…Oh, and Champ loves the Bears.”
(Side note and great Champ story that's on my mind...great excerpt from the Oakland broadcast last night that had me laughing for the first time since I heard the grave news about Mindfreak Mike Tice...
With the score 84-59 late in the second half:
Champ: With their 84 points tonight, Valpo has put up their second highest total on the season.
Ickow: What did we score at Centenary?
Pause
Ickow: Wasn't it 89?
Champ: I believe it was.
Ickow: I thought so, I may be going old and senile, but I thought it was 89. (Trying to bail Champ out...) But they will surpass 89 and it will eventually be the second highest point output of the year."
Champ: Well then the 84 is the second highest output at home.
Ickow: Yes, yes that's true.)
The NBA So Far
It's 2006, and Football is a distant memory. Until pitchers and catchers report, all we have now is the wonderland of the NBA to quench our fantasy thirst. It's no secret that most owners have, at best, a casual like for the NBA- while at worst, a burning hatred. The NBA portion of the VUFSA hasn't quite caught on (the defending champ hates the fact that we even have one), so hopefully the media outlet can help fan the fire, or at least create some constructive dialogue about the league's happenings in between football and baseball.
In the meantime- it's time to look at the hands we hold one schedule rotation into the season, for those of you who haven't been paying attention.
The story of the year (or it was when I formulated this post) is the dominance of the Cellar Dwellars. With a keeper crew unquestionably unparallelled- the Dwellars suffered just one losing week in the first 9- and it was week 9 that saw them fall in more than 4 categories. Just five wins in the last two weeks have dropped Stem's charges a half a game behind Madd Skillz for first place. Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant have played as well as can be expected, and Jermaine O'Neal is playing well, but still below where a franchise PF/C with his talent should be. Michael Redd is a top 50 player this year, and Joe Johnson is most certainly not. Suprise performances from Derek Fischer and Raja Bell have given CD depth at the Guard spots. Recent bad news about Emeka Okafor (injury) and Luke Ridnour (demotion?) put a damper on things, but neither should have any effect on Stem's impending playoff run for this season.
The team that has overtaken CD on top of the standings, for this week at least, did so on an underwhelming note. Madd Skillz pulled out just 5 games against a Fan Punchers squad (the one with the .250 winning avg and didn't even start a center in the game) before jumping into first after the 7-1 loss for CD. The story for Schillinger's crew has been Marcus Camby- in both the excellence and uncertainty of his play. When on the court- Camby has been a force in 7 of our 8 categories. However, the oft injured Nugget is out for about a month following finger surgery. SKL is thin at center following a big trade that sent the team's other Center away (Ben Wallace) along with Kirk Hinrich for a superstar in Ray Allen. (Schillinger also got Kurt Thomas in the deal, who now starts at C for the team.) Ray Allen has been traded three times already this season, despite being ranked #2 overall in the league. Allen and Dirk Nowitzki give SKL two players in the top 4 in the league. Chris Webber has been an awfully nice suprise- ranked 24th despite being taken in the 9th round of the draft. It's a solid team, built around some unassuming players (Andre Miller and Shane Battier come to mind) one that will contend for a playoff spot- but will always have health to worry about. Camby is out now, and Chris Webber tends to get owies- while Jamaal Tinsley, Bobby Simmons and Shaun Livingston can't always be counted on to finish a week.
If it weren't for the continued turnaround of Andrew Stem, or his recent fall from first- we would all be talking about The Spirit of the Noc. Never one to shy away from a deal, TSN turned underacheiving Larry Hughes into playing-over-his-head Rasheed Wallace- impressive enough- before flipping Wallace and Donyell Marshall for Ray Allen and Tyson Chandler. This started the flurry of action for TSN- who has been involved in the league's last 5 deals. After trading Allen, Eli Gieryna just about cornered the market on marquee point guards, bringing Jason Kidd and Stephon Marbury into the fold, along with Carlos Boozer, Kirk Hinrich and Ben Wallace. The cost? Ray Allen, Brad Miller, Josh Howard, Kurt Thomas and Channing Frye. Jason Kidd joins the leagues #1 overall player, Shawn Marion, in the top10, while draft sleeper Lamar Odom has taken time out of his busy schedule of fighting with Kobe Bryant to be a top 25 player. Ben Wallace ranks in the top 20, and Pau Gasol an always solid top 30 player- an enviable frontcourt. Despite some frustrating games, Mike Bibby will give you a great effort, and Delonte West is having a sold year and gives TSN 4 of the top 20 PGs, with Stephon Marbury not even on that list (yet). It's a real solid roster, but frontcourt depth is an issue. If Ben Wallace goes down it kills this team, forcing Tyson Chandler to play C, plus leaving Gasol's best backup to be the underacheiving Boozer, or forces Shawn Marion away from SF. After averaging 6 wins a week over the last 5 weeks, don't be suprised to see the Red Hot Gierynas spend some time in first place this season.
Spirit of the Noc has a mere half game lead over the understated excellence of the Fightin' Akindeles. Outside of the Wade-Bryant combo over at CD, you'd be hard pressed to find a more desirable 1-2 punch than Elton Brand and LeBron James. The forwards simply carry this AKN squad, and are joined by emerging superstar and surefire keeper Chris Paul. Much like the Utah Jazz, teams in the VUFSA are questioning their pre-draft rankings, and regretting passing on Paul for up to 8 rounds. Oustide of James, Brand and Paul- only one AKN ranks in the top 30, and it's...Brevin Knight. Good depth, plus an early season surges from Alonzo Mourning and Sam Cassell are among the reasons that his team has amassed 43 wins thus far, because it sure isn't because of statistical underperformances from Al Harrington, Manu Ginobili and Andy Bogut. With James/Brand/Paul running the show, this team will be in the thick all year- but will the dropoff of some of the older contributers allow Andy Viano's team to stay at this high a level?
Even though I just mentioned his "statistical underperformance" Andrew Bogut is tied for the VUFSA lead in "franchises namesakes" as well as "JR's manlove" However, Bogut may have moved into the lead in the latter, as Andrei Kirilenko's constant hurt has got to be aggrevating Andy Bogut's Haircut, and their owner, JR Radcliffe. Bogut's Haircut and their hairless owner cling what would be the final playoff spot, if the season ended today. ABH has been hurt by the aforementioned injuries to Kirilenko, as well as the inactivity of Ron Artest. When one of your keepers and your #1 pick miss this much time, just being in the playoff race must sound awfully good. Jason Richardson may be the team's biggest suprise (64 3's for a guy who supposedly couldn't shoot) registering a top-15 ranking. David West's emergence is a close second. Allen Iverson has again been everything a superstar should be, and is so good it's not even really worth discussing. Brad Miller, Ricky Davis and Cuttino Mobley gives ABH the solid middle-ground players that every team needs, but they may need to be counted on for more until the superstars start earning their keep. The price for Miller was awfully high (Kidd) but shoring up the unquestioned weak spot on the roster (Center) was necessary, so the possibility of overpaying shouldn't have been a worry. If Ron Artest ever comes back, the starting 5 on this team looks awfully good, as Kirilenko can then move to PF, and move West to a UTIL role, wich suits him much better. Until then, however, it's a thin team that has Jamal Magloire on the active roster for this week. The defending champ can't be counted out, of course, so look for them to sneak into the playoffs and then make a run that will make everyone hate them.
The team sandwiched between Bogut and his haircut in the standings is the quiet and consistent Father Abraham. FA holds the title of most unpredictable- as outside of two tied weeks, has never played a game with a margin of fewer than 3 games. The worst player on the team right now is the team's best player: Amare Stoudamire. Lincoln Souzek has been damaged most by the NBA's decision to stop using an injured list, which has prevented Yahoo from giving us a place to stash hurt players. Thus, Amare has taken up a roster spot all year long, giving FA just 3 bench spots. Antawn Jamison has excelled in the PF spot, while Chris Bosh's center eligibility helps immensley as well. Jamison, Bosh and Steve Nash have all played very well, but pale in comparison to...Rashard Lewis? Lewis, FA's first round pick, has earned the #6 ranking in our league, and is playing well above all expectations. Nash has been quiet, but expect his numbers to spike once Stoudamire comes back, meaning FA is only getting better from here on out. It's a little concerning that the team's best SG is Gerald Wallace, but when you're set at the other 4 spots, you can overlook it. Like I said, FA is only getting better, so a playoff run is imminent.
Just a tie separates the #6 and 7 spots in the standings, as a once hot Champeons club sits on the doorstep of the franchise's first playoff bid. Before losing 6 games to an expansion Big Fat Guys club, the 'Peons had won 17 games over 3 weeks. The guards on this team are stupendous. Baron Davis, Tracy McGrady, Vince Carter, and shit, even Chris Duhon make this the best overall backcourt in the VUFSA. T-Mac and VC's SF eligibility afford CHM a wealth of options at that spot as well. The collection of talent in the backcourt as well as the lure of top 10 overall performer (at the center spot, no less) Rasheed Wallace made the departure of Ray Allen managable. When you break it down, the starting five on Brent Whitlock's team is really insanely good- Davis, McGrady, Carter, RWallace, and Ilgauskas. Putting Duhon, Donyell Marshall and Drew Gooden in the UTIL spots makes this a top3 team, talent wise. So why the 33-39-0 mark? Well, outside those 8 players, just Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Kareem Rush, Adonal Foyle and Tony Parker remain, which presents some weekly starting linuep troubles with respect to games played. McGrady's injury also set the club back a couple weeks early in the year, when they dropped consecutive 6-2 weeks. They were hot before getting doused last week, so this team cannot be counted out. Their position, combined with so much overall talent makes this an awfully dangerous club.
Remember that Garnett/Yao-Allen/Carter (Davis) deal that everyone was up in arms about during the draft? Well, neither team has really reaped the benefit of the considerable talent trading hands, especially not Ickow's Bunnies, the team that supposedly got the better of the deal, yet stares up at their trade partner in the standings. Despite having the Western Conference All-Star starters in their froncourt (Garnett, Duncan, Yao) ICK has managed just three weekly wins, and two of those were worth a combined 9 games. To be fair, Drew Wolf's club plays games closely, garnering less than 3 games just twice all season long. Duncan and Garnett aside, there is just not a lot of fantasy talent on this club. Their #3 player in the rankings is...Morris Peterson. Yuck. Peja Stojakovic looked like a steal early on, but has dropped off considerably this season, while the overall skill of Tayshaun Prince goes to waste in the VUFSA. Corey Maggette's health is a big worry, and Jason Williams' inconsistency is as well. Besides that, the problem here is probably just too many one-dimensional players. Ben Gordon, Udonis Haslem, and Peja do not fill up stat sheets- and Chris Kaman, Matt Harpring and Yao Ming are just not good. Look for ICK to make a move, or they could fall out fast because of the lack of support for Duncan and Garnett.
Just two wins, but five losses behind ICK lurks the king of expansion teams, Baron Brendel's Big Fat Guys. Don't look now, but this is a very good squad. Brendel did some great predraft things- nabbing Gilbert Arenas to start, who is joined in the top20 by 1st rounder Paul Pierce, with Chauncy Billups, Kyle Korver, Memo Okur and Eddie Jones all falling between ranks 20 and 31. That's a very deep top5. BFG is just loaded with three point shooters- Arenas, Pierce, Jones, Korver, Billups, Mike Miller, Smush Parker and even Okur all gun from beyond the arc exceptionally well. After a thrilling week 1 win, a 5 game losing skid followed, and put BFG in the hole that they currently reside. The team is on an upswing now, and with struggling expansion rival The Fan Punchers on deck, could make a move to leapfrog ICK by the end of this week. They're close to a playoff spot, and certainly have the depth, but you have to wonder if they'll be able to keep up with the establisheds down the stretch.
Last and least we come to The Fan Punchers. It's 3:30am right now, and I'm glad that I don't have much do say about them. The Hughes/RWallace deal mentioned earlier is borderline unforgiveable. Hughes was a big name playing poorly, while Wallace was a premium position player playing really, really well. After drafting Shaq and Steve Francis to headline their franchise, you had a feeling this might be a long season. TFP has not won a single week so far, but did tie FA in week 2. They have two very good white men on the roster, Troy Murphy and Wally Szczerbiak, which is important. Boris Diaw has been pleasant, and Andre Iguodola is probably a superstar in the making. Luol Deng may need some more time to blossom into a fantasy stud, and he'll have that time on a TFP club that isn't going anywhere this season.
In the meantime- it's time to look at the hands we hold one schedule rotation into the season, for those of you who haven't been paying attention.
The story of the year (or it was when I formulated this post) is the dominance of the Cellar Dwellars. With a keeper crew unquestionably unparallelled- the Dwellars suffered just one losing week in the first 9- and it was week 9 that saw them fall in more than 4 categories. Just five wins in the last two weeks have dropped Stem's charges a half a game behind Madd Skillz for first place. Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant have played as well as can be expected, and Jermaine O'Neal is playing well, but still below where a franchise PF/C with his talent should be. Michael Redd is a top 50 player this year, and Joe Johnson is most certainly not. Suprise performances from Derek Fischer and Raja Bell have given CD depth at the Guard spots. Recent bad news about Emeka Okafor (injury) and Luke Ridnour (demotion?) put a damper on things, but neither should have any effect on Stem's impending playoff run for this season.
The team that has overtaken CD on top of the standings, for this week at least, did so on an underwhelming note. Madd Skillz pulled out just 5 games against a Fan Punchers squad (the one with the .250 winning avg and didn't even start a center in the game) before jumping into first after the 7-1 loss for CD. The story for Schillinger's crew has been Marcus Camby- in both the excellence and uncertainty of his play. When on the court- Camby has been a force in 7 of our 8 categories. However, the oft injured Nugget is out for about a month following finger surgery. SKL is thin at center following a big trade that sent the team's other Center away (Ben Wallace) along with Kirk Hinrich for a superstar in Ray Allen. (Schillinger also got Kurt Thomas in the deal, who now starts at C for the team.) Ray Allen has been traded three times already this season, despite being ranked #2 overall in the league. Allen and Dirk Nowitzki give SKL two players in the top 4 in the league. Chris Webber has been an awfully nice suprise- ranked 24th despite being taken in the 9th round of the draft. It's a solid team, built around some unassuming players (Andre Miller and Shane Battier come to mind) one that will contend for a playoff spot- but will always have health to worry about. Camby is out now, and Chris Webber tends to get owies- while Jamaal Tinsley, Bobby Simmons and Shaun Livingston can't always be counted on to finish a week.
If it weren't for the continued turnaround of Andrew Stem, or his recent fall from first- we would all be talking about The Spirit of the Noc. Never one to shy away from a deal, TSN turned underacheiving Larry Hughes into playing-over-his-head Rasheed Wallace- impressive enough- before flipping Wallace and Donyell Marshall for Ray Allen and Tyson Chandler. This started the flurry of action for TSN- who has been involved in the league's last 5 deals. After trading Allen, Eli Gieryna just about cornered the market on marquee point guards, bringing Jason Kidd and Stephon Marbury into the fold, along with Carlos Boozer, Kirk Hinrich and Ben Wallace. The cost? Ray Allen, Brad Miller, Josh Howard, Kurt Thomas and Channing Frye. Jason Kidd joins the leagues #1 overall player, Shawn Marion, in the top10, while draft sleeper Lamar Odom has taken time out of his busy schedule of fighting with Kobe Bryant to be a top 25 player. Ben Wallace ranks in the top 20, and Pau Gasol an always solid top 30 player- an enviable frontcourt. Despite some frustrating games, Mike Bibby will give you a great effort, and Delonte West is having a sold year and gives TSN 4 of the top 20 PGs, with Stephon Marbury not even on that list (yet). It's a real solid roster, but frontcourt depth is an issue. If Ben Wallace goes down it kills this team, forcing Tyson Chandler to play C, plus leaving Gasol's best backup to be the underacheiving Boozer, or forces Shawn Marion away from SF. After averaging 6 wins a week over the last 5 weeks, don't be suprised to see the Red Hot Gierynas spend some time in first place this season.
Spirit of the Noc has a mere half game lead over the understated excellence of the Fightin' Akindeles. Outside of the Wade-Bryant combo over at CD, you'd be hard pressed to find a more desirable 1-2 punch than Elton Brand and LeBron James. The forwards simply carry this AKN squad, and are joined by emerging superstar and surefire keeper Chris Paul. Much like the Utah Jazz, teams in the VUFSA are questioning their pre-draft rankings, and regretting passing on Paul for up to 8 rounds. Oustide of James, Brand and Paul- only one AKN ranks in the top 30, and it's...Brevin Knight. Good depth, plus an early season surges from Alonzo Mourning and Sam Cassell are among the reasons that his team has amassed 43 wins thus far, because it sure isn't because of statistical underperformances from Al Harrington, Manu Ginobili and Andy Bogut. With James/Brand/Paul running the show, this team will be in the thick all year- but will the dropoff of some of the older contributers allow Andy Viano's team to stay at this high a level?
Even though I just mentioned his "statistical underperformance" Andrew Bogut is tied for the VUFSA lead in "franchises namesakes" as well as "JR's manlove" However, Bogut may have moved into the lead in the latter, as Andrei Kirilenko's constant hurt has got to be aggrevating Andy Bogut's Haircut, and their owner, JR Radcliffe. Bogut's Haircut and their hairless owner cling what would be the final playoff spot, if the season ended today. ABH has been hurt by the aforementioned injuries to Kirilenko, as well as the inactivity of Ron Artest. When one of your keepers and your #1 pick miss this much time, just being in the playoff race must sound awfully good. Jason Richardson may be the team's biggest suprise (64 3's for a guy who supposedly couldn't shoot) registering a top-15 ranking. David West's emergence is a close second. Allen Iverson has again been everything a superstar should be, and is so good it's not even really worth discussing. Brad Miller, Ricky Davis and Cuttino Mobley gives ABH the solid middle-ground players that every team needs, but they may need to be counted on for more until the superstars start earning their keep. The price for Miller was awfully high (Kidd) but shoring up the unquestioned weak spot on the roster (Center) was necessary, so the possibility of overpaying shouldn't have been a worry. If Ron Artest ever comes back, the starting 5 on this team looks awfully good, as Kirilenko can then move to PF, and move West to a UTIL role, wich suits him much better. Until then, however, it's a thin team that has Jamal Magloire on the active roster for this week. The defending champ can't be counted out, of course, so look for them to sneak into the playoffs and then make a run that will make everyone hate them.
The team sandwiched between Bogut and his haircut in the standings is the quiet and consistent Father Abraham. FA holds the title of most unpredictable- as outside of two tied weeks, has never played a game with a margin of fewer than 3 games. The worst player on the team right now is the team's best player: Amare Stoudamire. Lincoln Souzek has been damaged most by the NBA's decision to stop using an injured list, which has prevented Yahoo from giving us a place to stash hurt players. Thus, Amare has taken up a roster spot all year long, giving FA just 3 bench spots. Antawn Jamison has excelled in the PF spot, while Chris Bosh's center eligibility helps immensley as well. Jamison, Bosh and Steve Nash have all played very well, but pale in comparison to...Rashard Lewis? Lewis, FA's first round pick, has earned the #6 ranking in our league, and is playing well above all expectations. Nash has been quiet, but expect his numbers to spike once Stoudamire comes back, meaning FA is only getting better from here on out. It's a little concerning that the team's best SG is Gerald Wallace, but when you're set at the other 4 spots, you can overlook it. Like I said, FA is only getting better, so a playoff run is imminent.
Just a tie separates the #6 and 7 spots in the standings, as a once hot Champeons club sits on the doorstep of the franchise's first playoff bid. Before losing 6 games to an expansion Big Fat Guys club, the 'Peons had won 17 games over 3 weeks. The guards on this team are stupendous. Baron Davis, Tracy McGrady, Vince Carter, and shit, even Chris Duhon make this the best overall backcourt in the VUFSA. T-Mac and VC's SF eligibility afford CHM a wealth of options at that spot as well. The collection of talent in the backcourt as well as the lure of top 10 overall performer (at the center spot, no less) Rasheed Wallace made the departure of Ray Allen managable. When you break it down, the starting five on Brent Whitlock's team is really insanely good- Davis, McGrady, Carter, RWallace, and Ilgauskas. Putting Duhon, Donyell Marshall and Drew Gooden in the UTIL spots makes this a top3 team, talent wise. So why the 33-39-0 mark? Well, outside those 8 players, just Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Kareem Rush, Adonal Foyle and Tony Parker remain, which presents some weekly starting linuep troubles with respect to games played. McGrady's injury also set the club back a couple weeks early in the year, when they dropped consecutive 6-2 weeks. They were hot before getting doused last week, so this team cannot be counted out. Their position, combined with so much overall talent makes this an awfully dangerous club.
Remember that Garnett/Yao-Allen/Carter (Davis) deal that everyone was up in arms about during the draft? Well, neither team has really reaped the benefit of the considerable talent trading hands, especially not Ickow's Bunnies, the team that supposedly got the better of the deal, yet stares up at their trade partner in the standings. Despite having the Western Conference All-Star starters in their froncourt (Garnett, Duncan, Yao) ICK has managed just three weekly wins, and two of those were worth a combined 9 games. To be fair, Drew Wolf's club plays games closely, garnering less than 3 games just twice all season long. Duncan and Garnett aside, there is just not a lot of fantasy talent on this club. Their #3 player in the rankings is...Morris Peterson. Yuck. Peja Stojakovic looked like a steal early on, but has dropped off considerably this season, while the overall skill of Tayshaun Prince goes to waste in the VUFSA. Corey Maggette's health is a big worry, and Jason Williams' inconsistency is as well. Besides that, the problem here is probably just too many one-dimensional players. Ben Gordon, Udonis Haslem, and Peja do not fill up stat sheets- and Chris Kaman, Matt Harpring and Yao Ming are just not good. Look for ICK to make a move, or they could fall out fast because of the lack of support for Duncan and Garnett.
Just two wins, but five losses behind ICK lurks the king of expansion teams, Baron Brendel's Big Fat Guys. Don't look now, but this is a very good squad. Brendel did some great predraft things- nabbing Gilbert Arenas to start, who is joined in the top20 by 1st rounder Paul Pierce, with Chauncy Billups, Kyle Korver, Memo Okur and Eddie Jones all falling between ranks 20 and 31. That's a very deep top5. BFG is just loaded with three point shooters- Arenas, Pierce, Jones, Korver, Billups, Mike Miller, Smush Parker and even Okur all gun from beyond the arc exceptionally well. After a thrilling week 1 win, a 5 game losing skid followed, and put BFG in the hole that they currently reside. The team is on an upswing now, and with struggling expansion rival The Fan Punchers on deck, could make a move to leapfrog ICK by the end of this week. They're close to a playoff spot, and certainly have the depth, but you have to wonder if they'll be able to keep up with the establisheds down the stretch.
Last and least we come to The Fan Punchers. It's 3:30am right now, and I'm glad that I don't have much do say about them. The Hughes/RWallace deal mentioned earlier is borderline unforgiveable. Hughes was a big name playing poorly, while Wallace was a premium position player playing really, really well. After drafting Shaq and Steve Francis to headline their franchise, you had a feeling this might be a long season. TFP has not won a single week so far, but did tie FA in week 2. They have two very good white men on the roster, Troy Murphy and Wally Szczerbiak, which is important. Boris Diaw has been pleasant, and Andre Iguodola is probably a superstar in the making. Luol Deng may need some more time to blossom into a fantasy stud, and he'll have that time on a TFP club that isn't going anywhere this season.
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