Game of the Week
ChamPeons vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (-22)
We may have touched on it here before, but these two teams usually play a pretty close game...Historically, both teams have identical 5-5 records from Week 10-Week 14...Neither of these teams has lost consecutive games this season; one will finally experience back-to-back defeats this game...After a 0.75 win in Week 1, Champ is 4-1 lifetime against Andy, the only team with a winning record against Viano.
News and Notes, CHM
Champ's QB carousel stops on Original Snake this week, as he takes on the hapless Raiders. Champion has done a nice job since Daunte Culpepper died, not making any blockbuster deals, but rather finding decent options with great matchups on the wire. It's worked well so far. Corey Dillon replaces Laurence Maroney this week, which is the right call as long as Dillon gets the goal line looks. Both Julius Jones and Dillon have good matchups on the ground. Joseph Addai is questionable. I also love that Champ's smack talk is a relatively obscure Sports Night reference.
News and Notes, NDP
I couldn't be any more sold on Viano's team an elite squad. Has averaged a robust 116 points since a subpar week one, and has been the most consistent team through that time frame. The 4th overall pick in this year's draft, Mike Bell, gets his first start since week 3 in our league, and as long as Tatum doesn't sneak up and steal 14 carries, has the potential for a monster game against the Raiders. Chris Henry gets his first start for NDP, replacing the questionable Greg Jennings. Todd Heap is also questionable.
On Deck
Madd Skillz vs. Tice's Partyboat (+23)
The teams come into play winning their last 6, combined...SKL has averaged 159.31 points over the last four weeks, and has a history of big games against the Wolfman...TPB has won 5 of their last 6, bringing them over .500 for the first time all season...Schillinger is 5-2 against Wolf through their careers, Schillinger winning the last five.
News and Notes, SKL
Ran into some WR depth issues last week, forcing a last second pickup into the lineup, and this week acquired some insurance with both Terry Glenn and Joe Horn on the injury report again. Got Reggie Brown from Baron for a draft pick, and Brown is in the WR3 spot as of now vs. WAS. A lot of attention will be paid to the SD-CIN game with 4 major players going in that one, a good matchup for the Chargers, but less so for the Bengals. Chester Taylor and Horn are questionable, while Glenn is probable.
News and Notes, TPB
One of the hottest teams in the league over the past four weeks heads into a major Week 10 clash with Maurice Jones-Drew as their highest scoring RB. MJD and Ruben Droughns have good matchups on the ground; Michael Vick and Mike Furrey also go against weak opponents. The Partyboat is pretty much in do-or-die mode as any loss from here on out is extremely costly. Kellen Winslow is questionable.
The 3 Spot
Who is Ron Mexico vs. The Slumpbusters (-22.5)
WIRM comes in after a career high score last week and has won 2 of 3 since starting 0-6...Eli averages 131 points in week 10, and has a 1-1 record...The Willis McGahee bowl is off, as this would have been Willis' first game against his former owner, who hates him. McGahee fell victim to one of Eli's famous voodoo dolls last week...5 players take the field in the STL-SEA game, with SLM owning three Rams and WIRM fielding two Seahawks...Eli is 2-1 vs. Dave all-time, winning the last two.
News and Notes, WIRM
Tony Romo has earned it; his first VUFSA start comes this week against the Cardinals. Maurice Morris had a very nice game last week, and gets another good matchup this week against STL as his window as a starter closes. Just once, I would like to see Marques Colston occupy a starting spot other than TE, preferrably when I next play Tomke. Kevan Barlow, Reggie Bush and Muhsin Muhammed are all probable this week.
News and Notes, SLM
What was once the unquestioned best WR corps in the league is now in a state of flux with Santana Moss' injury and Randy Moss' uncertainty. Antonio Bryant has a good matchup against Detroit, while Torry Holt and Roy Williams also have nice matchups and make up for the uncertain WR3. Warrick Dunn and Steven Jackson also have nice opponents this week. Tatum Bell and Santana Moss are questionable this week, and neither is in the starting lineup as a result.
Batting Cleanup
Father Abraham vs. Fresh Legs (-9.5)
Baron is just 3 wins behind Lincoln on the VUFSA's all-time list, and can creep even closer to 8th with a win here...After averaging 118 points in the previous three weeks, FL put up just 91.50 in a week where 97 would have netted a win...The two teams have lost a their last 7 games, combined...Baron and Lincoln are 1-1 vs. one another after Souzek notched a 105.75-99.75 win in Week 1.
News and Notes, FA
Donovan McNabb and Anquan Boldin return to a lineup that was good without them. Leon Washington will also get added back to the RB rotation, where Jamal Lewis and Fred Taylor have been very, very good the last two weeks. I don't know if there's a streakier WR in the league than Joey Galloway right now, but when he's on he's really, really good. Taylor has a good matchup with HOU, and McNabb will likely throw all over the WAS secondary. Outside of the season-ending injuries from Domanick Davis and Amani Toomer, this team is healthy. Fred Taylor is listed as probable, and will play.
News and Notes, FL
Baron is seriously looking towards the future from here, and the potential to harvest his stable of solid, veteran backs and turn them into a stud is there. Deuce McAllister, Ahman Green and Thomas Jones should all be looked at by contenders looking to solidify the RB corps, as long as they're willing to give up some young talent and/or a top three draft pick. A move like that with Champ (has young talent and could use a boost) makes sense for both sides, to me. Doug Gabriel could have a big game as Tom Brady looks to rebound against a weak Jets defense, while Alge Crumpler should stay hot against CLE. Baron has four offensive starters on the injury report, most notably Brian Westbrook, but he should be fine coming off the bye.
The 5 Hole
The Nihilist Marmot vs. Cellar Dwellers (+32)
Both teams enter the game on four game streaks, TNM a winning, CD a losing...Last week, Eli and I picked the spread on the TNM win perfectly, a first for the rookie handicappers...Week 10 is far and away Andrew Stem's best week- recording 138.13 points with a 2-0 record through 2 seasons...Radcliffe is similarly conistent in Week 10s, going 1-1 with a 109.50 and a 109.25 in 2 seasons...JR holds a commanding 4-2 career edge over Stem, including a 27.50 point win in Week 1.
News and Notes, TNM
The ever-attentive Radcliffe swooped in and snatched up Anthony Thomas last Sunday, and now the A-Train could be a starter through the VUFSA playoffs. He brings added stability to a team that was tiring of Travis Henry and is still leery of DeShaun Foster now that DeAngelo Williams is healthy. A few weeks ago, I had throw dirt on JR's QB situation, claiming it stable with Rex Grossman, and now I'm not so sure. The Colts sisters have a nice matchup this week. JR's team is 100% healthy.
News and Notes, CD
Should get Larry Fitzgerald back this week, although that good news is tempered by the Bitchass Burress' injury. Shaun Alexander could be back as early as next week, pushing Mewelde Moore and Justin Fargas back to the bench. Red-hot Kevin Jones gets to play agains the 49ers this week and is primed for another big game. Tom Brady should also register a positive number this week. Most of Stem's injuries on the bench, although LaMont Jordan is probable again.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Power Rankings: Boston Style
By Bill Simmons
Remember what I definitively said three months ago? Retract that and forget it. Let me tell you something else.
First, a quick word for you guys before we get to the power rankings for this week.
I was out walking my dog the other day in Los Angeles, where I live, after I moved from Boston, there are a lot of Starbucks here, and I like to go there, before I write my columns, because I like caffeine, it keeps me going, because I write 7,000-word columns, and, inexplicably, I saw this totally hot broad on the street. And I'm thinking, "Man, I love women. They're really stupid bimbos, but I love their breasts. Dumb creatures with no redeeming value though."
Anyway, I'm walking the dog along and I see this totally hot blonde girl and she's hot. And then I realize that, holy crap, it was that psycho chick on Real World Season 9! You know, the one who did that thing where she argued with the other chick? The black one with curly hair?
Can you believe I saw her?
I'm telling you, these sorts of things don't happen in Boston. Only in Los Angeles. It's a crazy, crazy place. When I worked for Jimmy Kimmel, I saw some really hot girls here in Los Angeles. I met Jessica Alba once during a taping of his show. Jimmy is so funny. He lets Adam Corolla come in during meetings and Adam Corolla will bend over with his hands on his shins and fart really loud, sometimes five or six times a minute. Never fails to crack me up. My buddy House said farts are the funniest things in the world. One time my dad farted.
Anyway, on to the Power Rankings for this week.
1. Madd Skillz (8-1): There are no Patriots on this team, but there are still somehow the best team in the league. Kind of reminds me of the Karate Kid. Ed survived a big-time matchup with Naj Davenport's Poop, which was a nice win. The reason he won is because Peyton Manning is a total choker and didn't score 80 points. He choked so bad, he choked like A-Rod while he was choking. He was making the Peyton Manning face the whole time. Choker. Anyway, it's probably time for Ed to enter the Pantheon of fantasy football owners.
2. Naj Davenport's Poop (6-3): I love this team name. It's topical humor. Andy Viano is like Adam Corolla funny with his team names. Anyway, he'll never win anything because Peyton Manning is his quarterback. And everyone knows that Peyton Manning is the only quarterback in the league worse than Kyle Boller.
3. The Nihilist Marmot (6-3): This team is now a pretty dangerous contender after major improvements in the last few weeks. Sort of like the Sports Gal, who used to talk during sporting events. Then she learned to stop, after I kept hitting her in the mouth with my 33-ounce Boston Red Sox championship bat, which I got signed by Gabe Kapler.
4. The Slumpbusters (5-4): No goddamn Patriots on this team either. God damn it. I have so many foul words I want to say, but I can't, because my editors are zapping me with 10,000 volts of electricity. I can't believe there are no Patriots on any of the top four teams in the league. I will now go and do something to my body that you would not expect me to do, and it will be painful, and it will demonstrate my disapproval with this newest development.
5. ChamPeons (5-4): Finally, some fucking (zzzzap) Patriots! This team will probably win the championship. Lawrence Maroney is going to run for at least 12 touchdowns in the final weeks, and Corey Dillon will probably move to wide receiver and also strong-side linebacker, because he isn't old and is awesome. This team also has Joseph Addai, which is why I have them ranked all the way down at No. 5. Though he'll probably do well, because the NFL loves the Colts and wants them to win so badly, because everyone knows that major sporting organizations love to get winners from major media markets like Indiana.
6. Fresh Legs (3-6): I don't care about the record, this team is better than the others below it. Baron brags about having lunch with a Pro Bowl quarterback, but BFD, I once met Demi Moore's sister AND Daniel Stern. In the same week.
7. Tice's Partyboat (5-4):I have no idea how this team has this record. I guess it's probably because their kicker is Adam Vinatieri, and he's super clutch. He's going to die in a barge accident though, because he plays for the Colts now.
8. Who is Ron Mexico? (2-7): Reggie Bush looks like a boy among men right now. He inexplicably had -5 yards on 63 carries this past week. But still, the Houston Texans are idiots for not passing on him. They were all making the Dom Capers Face during draft day. If I was their VP of Common Sense, I would have totally drafted Reggie Bush, or at least Marques Colston, or maybe Devin Hester, or Mario Williams, if he keeps playing really well.
9. Father Abraham (2-7): Fred Taylor has not been as bad as everyone thought he was going to be, which is probably exactly what I told you would happen. Also, can you believe that he's black? With a name like Fred Taylor? People are so unpredictable, especially the Sports Gal and her giant, heaving titties.
15. Cellar Dwellers (3-6): I'm not much for facts or hard data, but this team is averaging 77 points during the last five weeks. That's horrible. Also, their behavior during Shaun Alexander's injury reminded me of that time my dad had a stroke and just sat in his chair for three weeks without moving.
Well, thanks for letting me write for you guys. I hated every second of it, because my readers are just huge inconveniences to me. Why the hell did I agree to this?
The lesson, as always, is I'm an idiot.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Week 9 Recap
Madd Skillz: 158.00
Naj Davenport's Poop: 135.75
Game Summary: What could have been a blowout turned into the week's best game. Trailing big after the early games, NDP got great efforts from the only 2 offensive players on the field during the PIT-DEN game, as Willie Parker and Javon Walker got things to within Peyton Manning range by the 3rd quarter. It was then, however, that LaDanian Tomlinson awoke and scored 3 2nd half touchdowns, putting the lead out of even Manning's reach. This is the first time since week 3 that NDP had an opponent put up more than 89.75 points against them.
Madd Skillz (8-1): Monster week courtesy of the VUFSA's new leading scorer, LDT. Drew Brees, Larry Johnson and London Fletcher also had big games. Fletcher's emergence eased the pain of playing with only 2 WRs (terrible Tim Carter doesn't count). Sits in first with eight wins and a two game lead. No team that has won 8 games in a season has ever missed the playoffs.
Naj Davenport's Poop (6-3): Viano registerd the 4th most points in a loss through VUFSA history while putting up his best score of the season. Javon Walker's 34 points represent the highest point total for a WR in the league this season; just the 3rd time a WR has had 30+. Ronnie Brown and Willie Parker played arguably their best games of the season against two of the league's best defenses. Outside those three players and a good but not great Peyton Manning, no one else on the poop topped 7 points. The loss snaps a 5 game winning streak, and knocks NDP into a 2nd place tie with TNM. NDP has a healthy tiebreaker lead, however.
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The Nihilist Marmot: 96.50
Fresh Legs: 91.50
Game Summary: A pretty decent game despite all the byes incurred by both squads. Extremely disappointing QB performances kept both teams under 100 points. FL sent 5 men into double digits, compared with just 3 Marmots; big difference was that TNM's double digit men had a floor of 17.50.
The Nihilist Marmot (6-3): Tiki Barber's best game of the season came at a great time, as the soon-to-be-retired one finally got into the end zone and got over 100 yards on the ground. Marvin Harrison's Sunday Night was the big story here, however, as the Radcliffian deficit was considerable before Marvin dominated the Patriots. Tony Gonzalez was again very good, so it's probably time to lay off the Tony G jokes for a while. Overcame a crucial and completely unforseen zero from Heath Evans to grab hold of the league's longest winning streak (4 games) and a tie for 2nd.
Fresh Legs (3-6): Solid performances from a lot of people (7 players between 9 and 13 points) but no one went off, and that ulitimately cost FL. Chris Chambers and Rod Smith were fine, as were Deuce, Thomas Jones and Ahman Green. Aaron Kampman was also notable with 7.25 points. Probably eliminated from the playoff race with the loss. Needs to win out to hit 8 wins and has to leapfrog at least three teams, while sitting two full games behind each of them.
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Who Is Ron Mexico: 109.00
ChamPeons: 97.25
Game Summary: Bullshit Cheater Marques Colston has another huge game and Champ gets Thundered. Dave has his first winning record head-to-head with another owner.
Who Is Ron Mexico (2-7): Out of the cellar for WIRM, thanks in large part to Shit-Ton Bush's -5 rushing yards on 11 carries. Maurice Morris proves to be the gem of the McGahee-Dunn deal as his 13 points helped usher in the Thunder, along with Deion Branch. Six offensive players in double digits, but the real difference maker was Jason Taylor and his undressing of Rex Grossman. His 16.50 is the reason Dave wins his second game.
ChamPeons (5-4): A devastating loss for the Fighting Kennisons, as they drop down into a three-way tie for the final playoff spot which means they'll need tiebreaker help. That's not a good thing if you're a CHM fan. If you're Herm Edwards, how can you possibly bench Damon Huard? Another 22.50 for the journeyman, keeping the 'Peons QB problems out of the equation. Three starting RBs who are all platooning keeps things uncertain, as only Joseph Addai hit 10 points. Laurence Maroney, for all his future studliness, has been pretty much worthless since torching the Bengals. Corey Dillon was the better play again this week. Champ needs to win at least 4 of the remaining 5 games to make the playoffs, and even then may need some help, as they probably won't have the benefit of a tiebreaker.
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Tice's Partyboat: 88.25
Cellar Dwellers: 57.25
Game Summary: TPB was bad, CD was much, much worse. A gift-wrapped win keeps the Partyboat rockin' and knocks CD out of the race.
Tice's Partyboat (5-4): Like TNM, in the midst of a 4 game winning streak, but like CHM, won't have any tiebreakers to bail them out if it comes down to it late in the season. Michael Vick came back to earth a little bit this week, notching just 12.25 despite 80 rushing yards. Donald Driver hit the end zone and that's all the double digit scorers for TPB. Kellen Winslow was good with 8.50 and Maurice Jones-Drew continues to contribute. Cadillac Williams is starting to look like a fluke. He's young, sure, but it's going to be hard to count on him down the stretch.
Cellar Dwellers (3-6): The 5th lowest score All-Time and lowest of Andrew Stem's career can probably be laid at the feet of Tom Brady and his -2 points. It's a good thing that Cris Collinsworth made him his pick for "player of the week" before the game even started. Kevin Jones may have finally gotten his shit together- another 26 points this week makes him the #4 back in the league thus far. Outside of Jones, managed just 31.75 points with 12 other players. Let's move on.
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The Slumpbusters: 137.50
Father Abraham: 90.50
Game Summary: A great effort from FA, all things considered, but was overmatched even at full strength.
The Slumpbusters (5-4): The RB corps was all you could ask for this week; studly effort from Steven Jackson and solid numbers (w/TDs) from Warrick Dunn and Clinton Portis. Roy Williams, Marc Bulger, Jeremy Shockey, also good. In the driver's seat with the CHM loss- in a tie for 4th, with a tiebreaker edge on anyone behind them. We've been here before, sure, but this is a league with a significant dropoff after the #4 team. Faces WIRM and CHM the next two weeks, and wins in both of those could just about slam the door on the race.
Father Abraham (2-7): We have a new last place team for the first time this season, which is weird because Lincoln had a nice week with a makeshift linuep. David Garrard was a smart pickup and paid off nicely in his one week of work, while Jamal Lewis was very effective for the first-place Ravens. Joey Galloway was outstanding again, but a pithy performance from the other WRs. Has lost 4 straight and is out of the playoff race.
Naj Davenport's Poop: 135.75
Game Summary: What could have been a blowout turned into the week's best game. Trailing big after the early games, NDP got great efforts from the only 2 offensive players on the field during the PIT-DEN game, as Willie Parker and Javon Walker got things to within Peyton Manning range by the 3rd quarter. It was then, however, that LaDanian Tomlinson awoke and scored 3 2nd half touchdowns, putting the lead out of even Manning's reach. This is the first time since week 3 that NDP had an opponent put up more than 89.75 points against them.
Madd Skillz (8-1): Monster week courtesy of the VUFSA's new leading scorer, LDT. Drew Brees, Larry Johnson and London Fletcher also had big games. Fletcher's emergence eased the pain of playing with only 2 WRs (terrible Tim Carter doesn't count). Sits in first with eight wins and a two game lead. No team that has won 8 games in a season has ever missed the playoffs.
Naj Davenport's Poop (6-3): Viano registerd the 4th most points in a loss through VUFSA history while putting up his best score of the season. Javon Walker's 34 points represent the highest point total for a WR in the league this season; just the 3rd time a WR has had 30+. Ronnie Brown and Willie Parker played arguably their best games of the season against two of the league's best defenses. Outside those three players and a good but not great Peyton Manning, no one else on the poop topped 7 points. The loss snaps a 5 game winning streak, and knocks NDP into a 2nd place tie with TNM. NDP has a healthy tiebreaker lead, however.
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The Nihilist Marmot: 96.50
Fresh Legs: 91.50
Game Summary: A pretty decent game despite all the byes incurred by both squads. Extremely disappointing QB performances kept both teams under 100 points. FL sent 5 men into double digits, compared with just 3 Marmots; big difference was that TNM's double digit men had a floor of 17.50.
The Nihilist Marmot (6-3): Tiki Barber's best game of the season came at a great time, as the soon-to-be-retired one finally got into the end zone and got over 100 yards on the ground. Marvin Harrison's Sunday Night was the big story here, however, as the Radcliffian deficit was considerable before Marvin dominated the Patriots. Tony Gonzalez was again very good, so it's probably time to lay off the Tony G jokes for a while. Overcame a crucial and completely unforseen zero from Heath Evans to grab hold of the league's longest winning streak (4 games) and a tie for 2nd.
Fresh Legs (3-6): Solid performances from a lot of people (7 players between 9 and 13 points) but no one went off, and that ulitimately cost FL. Chris Chambers and Rod Smith were fine, as were Deuce, Thomas Jones and Ahman Green. Aaron Kampman was also notable with 7.25 points. Probably eliminated from the playoff race with the loss. Needs to win out to hit 8 wins and has to leapfrog at least three teams, while sitting two full games behind each of them.
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Who Is Ron Mexico: 109.00
ChamPeons: 97.25
Game Summary: Bullshit Cheater Marques Colston has another huge game and Champ gets Thundered. Dave has his first winning record head-to-head with another owner.
Who Is Ron Mexico (2-7): Out of the cellar for WIRM, thanks in large part to Shit-Ton Bush's -5 rushing yards on 11 carries. Maurice Morris proves to be the gem of the McGahee-Dunn deal as his 13 points helped usher in the Thunder, along with Deion Branch. Six offensive players in double digits, but the real difference maker was Jason Taylor and his undressing of Rex Grossman. His 16.50 is the reason Dave wins his second game.
ChamPeons (5-4): A devastating loss for the Fighting Kennisons, as they drop down into a three-way tie for the final playoff spot which means they'll need tiebreaker help. That's not a good thing if you're a CHM fan. If you're Herm Edwards, how can you possibly bench Damon Huard? Another 22.50 for the journeyman, keeping the 'Peons QB problems out of the equation. Three starting RBs who are all platooning keeps things uncertain, as only Joseph Addai hit 10 points. Laurence Maroney, for all his future studliness, has been pretty much worthless since torching the Bengals. Corey Dillon was the better play again this week. Champ needs to win at least 4 of the remaining 5 games to make the playoffs, and even then may need some help, as they probably won't have the benefit of a tiebreaker.
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Tice's Partyboat: 88.25
Cellar Dwellers: 57.25
Game Summary: TPB was bad, CD was much, much worse. A gift-wrapped win keeps the Partyboat rockin' and knocks CD out of the race.
Tice's Partyboat (5-4): Like TNM, in the midst of a 4 game winning streak, but like CHM, won't have any tiebreakers to bail them out if it comes down to it late in the season. Michael Vick came back to earth a little bit this week, notching just 12.25 despite 80 rushing yards. Donald Driver hit the end zone and that's all the double digit scorers for TPB. Kellen Winslow was good with 8.50 and Maurice Jones-Drew continues to contribute. Cadillac Williams is starting to look like a fluke. He's young, sure, but it's going to be hard to count on him down the stretch.
Cellar Dwellers (3-6): The 5th lowest score All-Time and lowest of Andrew Stem's career can probably be laid at the feet of Tom Brady and his -2 points. It's a good thing that Cris Collinsworth made him his pick for "player of the week" before the game even started. Kevin Jones may have finally gotten his shit together- another 26 points this week makes him the #4 back in the league thus far. Outside of Jones, managed just 31.75 points with 12 other players. Let's move on.
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The Slumpbusters: 137.50
Father Abraham: 90.50
Game Summary: A great effort from FA, all things considered, but was overmatched even at full strength.
The Slumpbusters (5-4): The RB corps was all you could ask for this week; studly effort from Steven Jackson and solid numbers (w/TDs) from Warrick Dunn and Clinton Portis. Roy Williams, Marc Bulger, Jeremy Shockey, also good. In the driver's seat with the CHM loss- in a tie for 4th, with a tiebreaker edge on anyone behind them. We've been here before, sure, but this is a league with a significant dropoff after the #4 team. Faces WIRM and CHM the next two weeks, and wins in both of those could just about slam the door on the race.
Father Abraham (2-7): We have a new last place team for the first time this season, which is weird because Lincoln had a nice week with a makeshift linuep. David Garrard was a smart pickup and paid off nicely in his one week of work, while Jamal Lewis was very effective for the first-place Ravens. Joey Galloway was outstanding again, but a pithy performance from the other WRs. Has lost 4 straight and is out of the playoff race.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Week 9 Preview
Game of the Week
Madd Skillz vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (+16)
Two winningest franchises in league history do battle (26 wins vs. 23)...This week's game of the week features the 2nd greatest combined win percentage of any two teams in a regular season game (81.3%)...It's Viano's worst historical week, however- racking up just 84.38 in those games, including a loss to expansion Baron in Week 9 of last season...Schillinger fares better in week 9s, his 2nd best week, with an average of 153.50 in 2 wins through two seasons...After this game, SKL has just one and NDP just two games left against teams with winning records...Viano is 2-1 against Schillinger lifetime, the only owner with a winning record against him.
News and Notes, SKL
Both LaDanian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson went crazy last week, combining for 80.50 points. While it would be equally crazy to expect that again, both are set up for big games against Cleveland and St. Louis, resp...Chester Taylor looks to rebound from a nightmarish Monday Night showing against the 49ers, and should get a big workload since Brad Johnson has again proven himself a barely mediocre QB...On the other side of the matchup spectrum the Bengals Johnson take on Baltimore, and neither has had any sort of consistent success against that franchise through their careers...Very thin at WR, potentially, with Joe Horn and Terry Glenn on the injury report and Steve Smith on a bye. May force last second pickup Eric Parker into the lineup, the 3rd such offensive Charger if that happens...Key Byes: Steve Smith...Key Injuries: Joe Horn (Questionable), Matt Hassellbeck (Out)
News and Notes, NDP
Peyton Manning's recent spurt of 687 yards and 7 TDs in the last two weeks will be put to the test against a New England team that has been excellent defensively this year. In the distant past, Manning has struggled with the Patriots, and his struggles were magnified on the road. Last year, however, Peyton went into Foxboro and racked up 321 yards and 3 TDs en route to a handy Colts win. While the Colts are not as good as they were last year, the win isn't a certainty, but the numbers should be there for NDP in one of the season's biggest games...A tough week in matchups, all things considered for Viano, employing 3 studs from both PIT and DEN, who play each other this week. Willie Parker takes on a ferocious Bronco front seven and Hines Ward has to deal with Champ Bailey. Javon Walker takes on the normally good Pittsburgh Defense, but still has a chance to break out against a Steeler team that saw 4 Michael Vick TDs two weeks ago...Viano's most talented running back takes on the best defense in the NFL, it'll be hard to expect a ton from Ronnie Brown- although double digits are within range if he makes a couple catches...Cedric Benson and Marion Barber both have good chances to score well with their team's playing very well on offense...Todd Heap's injury won't be a problem, he's been upgraded to probable...Key Byes: Bryant Johnson...Key Injuries: Greg Jennings (Questionable), Todd Heap (Probable)
On Deck
The Nihilist Marmot vs. Fresh Legs (+5)
A lot of luster is gone from this matchup thanks to the Thursday Thunder, knocking FL to 3-5. On the other hand, every week is pretty much a must win for them now, so pay a little closer attention...After two straight losses, TNM has won 3 straight, and has increased their point total nearly 10 whole points each of the last 3 weeks, climbing from 120 to 130.50 to 140. All the while, his opponents are getting better than 108 in each of those matchups...Brendel, on the other hand, has hit no lower than 116.25 the last two weeks and has lost both games...Baron is 1-0 against JR, lifetime.
News and Notes, TNM
A pretty bad bye week leaves TNM vulnerable against the talented FL squad. New RB Edgerrin James takes a seat, as does DeShaun Foster, leaving the often inactive Ron Dayne in at RB and the often overlooked Isaac Bruce in their place at RB and Flex...Travis Henry can't duplicate his two point week eight for Radcliffe to be successful..Tony Gonzlez has had a sensational last two weeks, but St. Louis has had good success against the TE; they held Antonio Gates in check for a good part of last week...Darrell Jackson only had three catches with Seneca Wallace under center for a full game, but one of those was for a TD. Jackson should continue to be a viable weapon even with Wallace as his QB...Can I make a small prediction? I say Tiki Barber finds the end zone against the Texans and has his best game of the year. He has to break off a big play at some point this season...Key Byes: Edgerrin James, DeShaun Foster...Key Injuries: Darrell Jackson (Probable), Ron Dayne (Probable)
News and Notes, FL
The league's most despondent owner also has a horrible bye week this week as he misses his best player and 2 starting WRs...Dominic Rhodes is thrust back into the starting lineup, despite proving himself to be Indianapolis' inferior back carry after carry. He plays a stifling Patriot defense on a team that will probably throw about 75 times. I don't forsee good things from Dominic...The other three backs, while no sensational matchups, should be good for a double digit average between them...2 bright spots for Chris Chambers against the Bears: 1) they'll probably have to throw 62 times again and 2) The possibility for Big Play Peanut Tillman to cover him for at least one play means he has a good chance to score...Since coming off the bye, Doug Gabriel has been a solid WR3 in this league, and with the Patriot pass game ever-improving, his stock should only rise from here...Through his career, Carson Palmer has been very good against the Ravens, averaging 312 yards and 2 TDs against them. He picked them apart to the tune of a 128.4 QB rating last time they met, as well...Key Byes: Brian Westbrook, Laverneus Coles, Reggie Brown...Key Injuries: Dominic Rhodes (Questionable), Ahman Green (Probable)
The Three Spot
Who is Ron Mexico vs. ChamPeons (+1.5)
Week 9 is Champ's best scoring week- netting 118 points during these games. It's also his worst week, the only week he hasn't won a game. Weird...Tomke on the other hand, remembers week 9 for the worst loss in VUFSA history, when he put up just 47.50 en route to a 117.50 point loss...WIRM and CHM have finished in the top 5 or a given week once each...Before the season, I ranked Champ's schedule the 2nd hardest in the league, and that hasn't really changed; 4 of the top 5 scorers await after this week...Champ and Dave split their 2 games last season.
News and Notes, WIRM
Willis McGahee will suit up for his first new team in 3 VUFSA seasons, taking the field for Dave after coming over in exchange for Warrick Dunn last week. Dave has done an excellent job of continuing to upgrade his team, starting with underused and now-injured RB DeAngelo Williams and free-agent pickup Maurice Jones Drew and turning them into Warrick Dunn. He then turned that into a younger player with good upside in McGahee. It's really unknown to any of us if Willis will turn his talent into anything in his career, but it's a worthy gamble for Tomke...Michael Jenkins is an interesting start this week as WIRM tries to capitalize on the recent success of the Falcon pass attack. The other WRs look good this week as well...As long as Reggie Bush is healthy, he's worth at least a flex spot in our league, but as a 1 or 2 he's not as strong of an asset...Key Byes: Kevan Barlow...Key Injuries: Reggie Bush (Questionable)
News and Notes, CHM
The great thing for CHM this week is the Patriot-Colt matchup. It wouldn't be unsound to start both Maroney and Dillon because Indy can't stop anybody on the ground. If NE proved anything last week, it's that they'll go at your weakness, or at least against your strenght. Each back could get 20 touches...Frank Gore, despite his superhuman powers, plays a very good run defense in Minnesota this week. Gore was still able to rack up 111 garbage rush yards against the Bears last week, but that may be different in a more controlled game...Damon Huard gets his chance to show his stuff in his VUFSA debut, taking over for the recently benched David Carr. Mario Williams looks worse and worse every single week for that franchise...I like the potential for Lee Evans against Green Bay...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Joseph Addai (Questionable), Laurence Maroney (Questionable)- but both of those are because the Tony Dungy and Bill Belichick are acting like fucking children with their injury reports and the NFL lets them get away with it.
Batting Cleanup
Tice's Partyboat vs. Celler Dwellers (+13)
The 2nd benefactor of Thursday Thunder in league history, Wolfman finds himself one game up on Stem and on the edge of the playoff race; a win here not only keeps them in it, but all but knocks out a CD team who would probably need to win out to get in...Stem and Drew are 2-2 against one another splitting their series each of the first two seasons.
News and Notes, TPB
Michael Vick has been on fire and has a pathetic Lion offense to contend with this week. It's going to be a good day for the Mexican...A weak WR corps gets a boost from Reggie Williams- well, not so much him as the fact that he's playing the Titans- even though David Garrard may be the starter until the end of the season...Ruben Droughns is still a Partyboater, and his trade window may have passed now that he's had one good game, and he's due to be shut down by San Diego's defense this week...Brandon Jacobs is probably going to score 48 points against Texans...Adam Vinateri averages more points per game than Tiki Barber, Steven Jackson and every WR in our league...Key Byes: Keyshawn Johnson, DeAngelo Williams...Key Injuries: Byron Leftwich (Questionable), Kellen Winslow (Questionable), Maurice Jones-Drew (Probable)
News and Notes, CD
Honestly, this is as sound as this squad has looked in some time. Mewelde Moore is a decent fill-in at RB3, and LaMont Jordan should be starting again this week...Tom Brady's best game of the year went to waste last week, and it's a shame as New England probably won't throw the ball that much (if at all) this weekend, when CD really needs it...Bitchass Burress is, like all other NY Giants, set up for a big game...Keenan McCardell has yet to hit 7 catches or 70 yards in a single game- his starting spot should be in jeopardy for CD...Eric Johnson has been extremely consistent since Vernon Davis went down: 3 catches each game he's played...Key Byes: Larry Fitzgerald, LJ Smith, Donte Stallworth...Key Injuries: LaMont Jordan (Questionable), Plaxico Burress (Questionable), Shaun Alexander (Out)
The 5 Hole
Father Abraham vs. The Slumpbusters (-39.5)
Even historically, this is a mismatch, with Gieryna averaging 136.88 in Week 9s and Souzek coming in with 69.63 during this frame...From week 9 until the end of the season, Souzek has won just one game in 2 years...This is the first of 3 very winnable games in a row for SLM, with the two lowest scoring teams followed by a very bad 5 win team...Eli is 3-0 against Lincoln lifetime.
News and Notes, FA
Souzek is missing four offensive starters and 2 defenders this weekend, and as of Saturday hasn't yet replaced them. I'll go under the assumption that those spots will soon be filled...No one on the wire will match Donovan McNabb's production, but there are at least 3 (by my count) juicy matchups for serviceable QBs to man the helm during this week's bloodbath...Guys like Samkon Gado and LenDale White may get starting nods in the lineup, while Amani Toomer and Drew Bennett get thrust into the WR spotlight...Desmond Clark has been a great pickup for FA, outperforming keeper Jason Witten by 16 points over the season...The resurgance (and health) of Fred Taylor has been great for FA, and Freddy looked awesome last week just shredding the Eagles...Jamal Lewis got 31 carries last week, far and away his season high, and did something with them- a respectable 109 yards against the Saints...Key Byes: Donovan McNabb, Anquan Boldin, Jerricho Crotchitch, Leon Washington...Key Injuries: Fred Taylor (Probable)
News and Notes, SLM
Back to full strength after two consecutive rough weeks, but is short Tatum Bell. Bell could be down for just a week, maybe two, or he could never carry the ball in Denver again. It's impossible to predict what will happen in that backfield...The Kansas City defense has been maligned for years and hasn't been much better this season, leading to the very predictable note that the Rams have a good matchup for Eli this week...the enduring image of Randy Moss, for me, will not be that of the faux-moon at Lambeau (though I'll never forget it) but rather how dominating he was in his very first season, punctuated by my first firsthand viewing of his talents on Monday Night Football against the Packers. As a result, the cliche on Moss used to be that he "always saved his best for the big stage" but now that he's on a crappy team, I'm not sure that's a valid statement anymore- as he's been on primetime 2x this season and done nothing...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Santana Moss (Doubtful), Tatum Bell (Probable), Clinton Portis (Probable)
Madd Skillz vs. Naj Davenport's Poop (+16)
Two winningest franchises in league history do battle (26 wins vs. 23)...This week's game of the week features the 2nd greatest combined win percentage of any two teams in a regular season game (81.3%)...It's Viano's worst historical week, however- racking up just 84.38 in those games, including a loss to expansion Baron in Week 9 of last season...Schillinger fares better in week 9s, his 2nd best week, with an average of 153.50 in 2 wins through two seasons...After this game, SKL has just one and NDP just two games left against teams with winning records...Viano is 2-1 against Schillinger lifetime, the only owner with a winning record against him.
News and Notes, SKL
Both LaDanian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson went crazy last week, combining for 80.50 points. While it would be equally crazy to expect that again, both are set up for big games against Cleveland and St. Louis, resp...Chester Taylor looks to rebound from a nightmarish Monday Night showing against the 49ers, and should get a big workload since Brad Johnson has again proven himself a barely mediocre QB...On the other side of the matchup spectrum the Bengals Johnson take on Baltimore, and neither has had any sort of consistent success against that franchise through their careers...Very thin at WR, potentially, with Joe Horn and Terry Glenn on the injury report and Steve Smith on a bye. May force last second pickup Eric Parker into the lineup, the 3rd such offensive Charger if that happens...Key Byes: Steve Smith...Key Injuries: Joe Horn (Questionable), Matt Hassellbeck (Out)
News and Notes, NDP
Peyton Manning's recent spurt of 687 yards and 7 TDs in the last two weeks will be put to the test against a New England team that has been excellent defensively this year. In the distant past, Manning has struggled with the Patriots, and his struggles were magnified on the road. Last year, however, Peyton went into Foxboro and racked up 321 yards and 3 TDs en route to a handy Colts win. While the Colts are not as good as they were last year, the win isn't a certainty, but the numbers should be there for NDP in one of the season's biggest games...A tough week in matchups, all things considered for Viano, employing 3 studs from both PIT and DEN, who play each other this week. Willie Parker takes on a ferocious Bronco front seven and Hines Ward has to deal with Champ Bailey. Javon Walker takes on the normally good Pittsburgh Defense, but still has a chance to break out against a Steeler team that saw 4 Michael Vick TDs two weeks ago...Viano's most talented running back takes on the best defense in the NFL, it'll be hard to expect a ton from Ronnie Brown- although double digits are within range if he makes a couple catches...Cedric Benson and Marion Barber both have good chances to score well with their team's playing very well on offense...Todd Heap's injury won't be a problem, he's been upgraded to probable...Key Byes: Bryant Johnson...Key Injuries: Greg Jennings (Questionable), Todd Heap (Probable)
On Deck
The Nihilist Marmot vs. Fresh Legs (+5)
A lot of luster is gone from this matchup thanks to the Thursday Thunder, knocking FL to 3-5. On the other hand, every week is pretty much a must win for them now, so pay a little closer attention...After two straight losses, TNM has won 3 straight, and has increased their point total nearly 10 whole points each of the last 3 weeks, climbing from 120 to 130.50 to 140. All the while, his opponents are getting better than 108 in each of those matchups...Brendel, on the other hand, has hit no lower than 116.25 the last two weeks and has lost both games...Baron is 1-0 against JR, lifetime.
News and Notes, TNM
A pretty bad bye week leaves TNM vulnerable against the talented FL squad. New RB Edgerrin James takes a seat, as does DeShaun Foster, leaving the often inactive Ron Dayne in at RB and the often overlooked Isaac Bruce in their place at RB and Flex...Travis Henry can't duplicate his two point week eight for Radcliffe to be successful..Tony Gonzlez has had a sensational last two weeks, but St. Louis has had good success against the TE; they held Antonio Gates in check for a good part of last week...Darrell Jackson only had three catches with Seneca Wallace under center for a full game, but one of those was for a TD. Jackson should continue to be a viable weapon even with Wallace as his QB...Can I make a small prediction? I say Tiki Barber finds the end zone against the Texans and has his best game of the year. He has to break off a big play at some point this season...Key Byes: Edgerrin James, DeShaun Foster...Key Injuries: Darrell Jackson (Probable), Ron Dayne (Probable)
News and Notes, FL
The league's most despondent owner also has a horrible bye week this week as he misses his best player and 2 starting WRs...Dominic Rhodes is thrust back into the starting lineup, despite proving himself to be Indianapolis' inferior back carry after carry. He plays a stifling Patriot defense on a team that will probably throw about 75 times. I don't forsee good things from Dominic...The other three backs, while no sensational matchups, should be good for a double digit average between them...2 bright spots for Chris Chambers against the Bears: 1) they'll probably have to throw 62 times again and 2) The possibility for Big Play Peanut Tillman to cover him for at least one play means he has a good chance to score...Since coming off the bye, Doug Gabriel has been a solid WR3 in this league, and with the Patriot pass game ever-improving, his stock should only rise from here...Through his career, Carson Palmer has been very good against the Ravens, averaging 312 yards and 2 TDs against them. He picked them apart to the tune of a 128.4 QB rating last time they met, as well...Key Byes: Brian Westbrook, Laverneus Coles, Reggie Brown...Key Injuries: Dominic Rhodes (Questionable), Ahman Green (Probable)
The Three Spot
Who is Ron Mexico vs. ChamPeons (+1.5)
Week 9 is Champ's best scoring week- netting 118 points during these games. It's also his worst week, the only week he hasn't won a game. Weird...Tomke on the other hand, remembers week 9 for the worst loss in VUFSA history, when he put up just 47.50 en route to a 117.50 point loss...WIRM and CHM have finished in the top 5 or a given week once each...Before the season, I ranked Champ's schedule the 2nd hardest in the league, and that hasn't really changed; 4 of the top 5 scorers await after this week...Champ and Dave split their 2 games last season.
News and Notes, WIRM
Willis McGahee will suit up for his first new team in 3 VUFSA seasons, taking the field for Dave after coming over in exchange for Warrick Dunn last week. Dave has done an excellent job of continuing to upgrade his team, starting with underused and now-injured RB DeAngelo Williams and free-agent pickup Maurice Jones Drew and turning them into Warrick Dunn. He then turned that into a younger player with good upside in McGahee. It's really unknown to any of us if Willis will turn his talent into anything in his career, but it's a worthy gamble for Tomke...Michael Jenkins is an interesting start this week as WIRM tries to capitalize on the recent success of the Falcon pass attack. The other WRs look good this week as well...As long as Reggie Bush is healthy, he's worth at least a flex spot in our league, but as a 1 or 2 he's not as strong of an asset...Key Byes: Kevan Barlow...Key Injuries: Reggie Bush (Questionable)
News and Notes, CHM
The great thing for CHM this week is the Patriot-Colt matchup. It wouldn't be unsound to start both Maroney and Dillon because Indy can't stop anybody on the ground. If NE proved anything last week, it's that they'll go at your weakness, or at least against your strenght. Each back could get 20 touches...Frank Gore, despite his superhuman powers, plays a very good run defense in Minnesota this week. Gore was still able to rack up 111 garbage rush yards against the Bears last week, but that may be different in a more controlled game...Damon Huard gets his chance to show his stuff in his VUFSA debut, taking over for the recently benched David Carr. Mario Williams looks worse and worse every single week for that franchise...I like the potential for Lee Evans against Green Bay...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Joseph Addai (Questionable), Laurence Maroney (Questionable)- but both of those are because the Tony Dungy and Bill Belichick are acting like fucking children with their injury reports and the NFL lets them get away with it.
Batting Cleanup
Tice's Partyboat vs. Celler Dwellers (+13)
The 2nd benefactor of Thursday Thunder in league history, Wolfman finds himself one game up on Stem and on the edge of the playoff race; a win here not only keeps them in it, but all but knocks out a CD team who would probably need to win out to get in...Stem and Drew are 2-2 against one another splitting their series each of the first two seasons.
News and Notes, TPB
Michael Vick has been on fire and has a pathetic Lion offense to contend with this week. It's going to be a good day for the Mexican...A weak WR corps gets a boost from Reggie Williams- well, not so much him as the fact that he's playing the Titans- even though David Garrard may be the starter until the end of the season...Ruben Droughns is still a Partyboater, and his trade window may have passed now that he's had one good game, and he's due to be shut down by San Diego's defense this week...Brandon Jacobs is probably going to score 48 points against Texans...Adam Vinateri averages more points per game than Tiki Barber, Steven Jackson and every WR in our league...Key Byes: Keyshawn Johnson, DeAngelo Williams...Key Injuries: Byron Leftwich (Questionable), Kellen Winslow (Questionable), Maurice Jones-Drew (Probable)
News and Notes, CD
Honestly, this is as sound as this squad has looked in some time. Mewelde Moore is a decent fill-in at RB3, and LaMont Jordan should be starting again this week...Tom Brady's best game of the year went to waste last week, and it's a shame as New England probably won't throw the ball that much (if at all) this weekend, when CD really needs it...Bitchass Burress is, like all other NY Giants, set up for a big game...Keenan McCardell has yet to hit 7 catches or 70 yards in a single game- his starting spot should be in jeopardy for CD...Eric Johnson has been extremely consistent since Vernon Davis went down: 3 catches each game he's played...Key Byes: Larry Fitzgerald, LJ Smith, Donte Stallworth...Key Injuries: LaMont Jordan (Questionable), Plaxico Burress (Questionable), Shaun Alexander (Out)
The 5 Hole
Father Abraham vs. The Slumpbusters (-39.5)
Even historically, this is a mismatch, with Gieryna averaging 136.88 in Week 9s and Souzek coming in with 69.63 during this frame...From week 9 until the end of the season, Souzek has won just one game in 2 years...This is the first of 3 very winnable games in a row for SLM, with the two lowest scoring teams followed by a very bad 5 win team...Eli is 3-0 against Lincoln lifetime.
News and Notes, FA
Souzek is missing four offensive starters and 2 defenders this weekend, and as of Saturday hasn't yet replaced them. I'll go under the assumption that those spots will soon be filled...No one on the wire will match Donovan McNabb's production, but there are at least 3 (by my count) juicy matchups for serviceable QBs to man the helm during this week's bloodbath...Guys like Samkon Gado and LenDale White may get starting nods in the lineup, while Amani Toomer and Drew Bennett get thrust into the WR spotlight...Desmond Clark has been a great pickup for FA, outperforming keeper Jason Witten by 16 points over the season...The resurgance (and health) of Fred Taylor has been great for FA, and Freddy looked awesome last week just shredding the Eagles...Jamal Lewis got 31 carries last week, far and away his season high, and did something with them- a respectable 109 yards against the Saints...Key Byes: Donovan McNabb, Anquan Boldin, Jerricho Crotchitch, Leon Washington...Key Injuries: Fred Taylor (Probable)
News and Notes, SLM
Back to full strength after two consecutive rough weeks, but is short Tatum Bell. Bell could be down for just a week, maybe two, or he could never carry the ball in Denver again. It's impossible to predict what will happen in that backfield...The Kansas City defense has been maligned for years and hasn't been much better this season, leading to the very predictable note that the Rams have a good matchup for Eli this week...the enduring image of Randy Moss, for me, will not be that of the faux-moon at Lambeau (though I'll never forget it) but rather how dominating he was in his very first season, punctuated by my first firsthand viewing of his talents on Monday Night Football against the Packers. As a result, the cliche on Moss used to be that he "always saved his best for the big stage" but now that he's on a crappy team, I'm not sure that's a valid statement anymore- as he's been on primetime 2x this season and done nothing...Key Byes: None...Key Injuries: Santana Moss (Doubtful), Tatum Bell (Probable), Clinton Portis (Probable)
Friday, November 03, 2006
Let's Make a Deal
I wanted to write this post last week, but I was so busy in trying to fill holes in my Walgreens' work schedules (and just you know, if any of you die, I'm taking 10 days off and going to San Diego) and making more trades, that there never really was an opportunity. As such, it's a week late, but I'm sure Baron will be happy for anything that moves Cato June's name down the blog page a bit.
From October 25th to October 28th, five blockbuster deals were made, and I was involved in four of them. If not for that fifth one and Morris, I would have entitle the piece "Iceberg, Right Ahead!" but instead have settled on the largely recycled Monty Hall game show title.
October 25th:
Ed gets:
Drew Brees
Michael Turner
Lance Briggs
Drew's 9th round 2007 selection
Drew gets:
Brandon Jacobs
Kellen Winslow
Michael Pittman
Ed's 6th round 2007 selection
Why it makes sense for Madd Skillz?
In a one week span, Ed went from having two capable if not flashy quarterback to zero. The Tony Romo era began in Dallas and Vikings decided to roll over Matt Hasselbeck's legs. And so for the second time this season, Ed came knocking on my door for quarterback help. Drew Brees is a nice fit, as he has been a steady presence who occasionally opens up for the spectacular performance. He had 21 points last week, and that's with four turnovers. Regardless, with Colston, McCallister, Horn, and Bush, Brees has an offense to work with.
Michael Turner offers depth in the event that LT breaks a leg. Having been after Turner for the better part of the season, Ed finally secured this much coveted backup letting him sleep at night. Also, the addition of Lance Briggs should allow Jamie to sleep soundly after I was told that he was one of her favorite players and who am I to separate a woman and her Bear?
The final part of the deal, and the part that took awhile to hammer out, was the draft pick compensation. We went back and forth on these rounds, throwing out several different options, with Ed desperate to stay out of the supplemental rounds. In the end, he managed to make that happen reacquiring a draft pick, albeit a lower one in the trade.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
At the time I was still under this charade of building toward next year. Brees has twice been a keeper, but a modest one at that. As mentioned his steady presence has been a nice addition to the team, but the opportunity to acquire Tiki's replacement was too great to pass up. I am, actually, the worst general manager of all-time as I went back and looked at all the opportunities I had to acquire Jacobs' talents before this trade.
Actual order of selections from this year's draft:
Drew - Adam Vinateri
JR - Issac Bruce
Stem - Antowain Smith
Ed - Brandon Jacobs
Boy doesn't that sum up four seasons in a nutshell?
Then the week before this deal was solidified, Ed offered Jacobs for Turner straight up. I nearly accepted, but at the time, Turner was playing the 49ers and I thought he'd be more beneficial than the Giant. As such I declined and said that I'd be happy to revisit the deal after Turner was done trashing San Francisco. Turner went on to have 0 carries (despite LT and the Chargers running up the score), and Tiki announced his retirement. As such, the deal I should have taken was off the table. So, instead of having Jacobs, I took a kicker and held onto a backup running back. See, I suck.
But alas, I have Jacobs and some other pieces in the form of Bicycle Solider Kellen Winslow and a mid-round selection next year.
October 26th
Eli gets:
Randy Moss
Drew gets:
Michael Vick
5th round selection in 2007
Why it makes sense for The Slumpbusters?
In the three weeks before the trade, Moss seemed to be returning to form with 17 catches and 2 TDs. Oakland was looking less inept, and frankly Moss's value had never been lower. It was an opportunity to buy low and bolster a receiving corp that was starting Reggie Williams while big names Santana Moss and Roy Williams suffered through byes. Losing Vick was no big loss to Eli as Marc Bulger was the starter on this team, and he had made it through the bye. Dealing from his strength at quarterback had already happened this year when The Gun moved Rex Grossman to JR, so moving another non-playing QB was not unexpected.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
I had a huge gaping hole at quarterback after Brees departed, and Eli is a shrewd, opportunistic dealer who offered a good player at what I still deem a good price. While I'm not sold that Vick is going to do this 3 TD thing every week, as 99% of ESPN's analysts believe, I will still take him on the chance that he does have this type of outing here and there. Vick is a better option than every one on the wire and certainly better than Byron "Is he injured? Is he even the starter?" Leftwich who by default had inherited Tice's Partyboat's QB slot. The draft pick was simply icing on the cake as I, like all Minnesotans, was sick of Moss' shenanigans.
Oct. 26th
Baron gets:
Alge Crumpler
Drew gets:
6th round selection in 2006
Why it makes sense for Fresh Legs?
Despite a fairly solid line-up, tight end was the glaring weakness in Baron's roster. Heath Miller hasn't been a regular part of the Steelers' game plan (just 14 catches), due in no small part to Big Ben's continued struggles. Dallas Clark also has struggled not reaping the benefits of being in the league's best offense (just 19 catches). The opportunity to upgrade to Alge Crumpler (26 catches and as many TDs as the other two combined) was a wise one. It was also a pleasant plus that Crumpler would be coming over the week where he was set to line-up opposite Fresh Legs as Tice's Partyboat's tight end.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
Again, I was still in full fledged rebuilding mode trying to trade any and everything I could this year that would help next year. This deal was in the works even before Kellen Winslow came my way, but once he did, Crumpler was done with Tice's Partyboat. It was after this deal that Ed and I engaged in a series of e-mails with the subject line "Trade Whoring."
Oct. 27th
JR gets:
Edgerrin James
Drew gets:
Carnell Williams
Why it makes sense for The Nihilist Marmot?
Carnell has struggled with the Bucs thanks to a dumb offense and bloody spleens. He has just one touchdown on the season, and frankly, JR grew tired of the exhaust fumes. James, despite his struggles, is still getting a ton of touches in the desert. When Dennis Green gets canned, maybe Arizona will start playing football and James can return to form.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
All of you sons of bitches had combined to make it impossible to trade Edgerrin James for much more than a Culver's ice cream cone (an actual trade I made with Lincoln back in the day did in fact involve frozen custard which was incredibly tasty). A starting running back was just a plus. Though maybe I should have held out for the frozen custard. Damn it, now I'm regretting the whole thing.
Oct. 28th
Eli gets:
Warrick Dunn
Tomke gets:
Maurice Morris
Willis McGahee
Why it makes sense for The Slumpbusters?
In my personal opinion, Eli made this move because he's getting antsy. He's buying into the jinx, and he's doing everything possible to combat it. Warrick Dunn plays for the best rushing team in football and is part of the "now" solution. McGahee is racking up a lot of yards but isn't getting in the end zone. The better bet to win this year is to go with the guy who is playing for Atlanta rather than Buffalo. Lastly, Maurice Morris' value is declining with each passing week as Alexander gets set to return. Why not move him, even as if a trade sweetener while you still can?
Why it makes sense for Who Is Ron Mexico?
Even if a one or two week option, Morris does give Tomke a full slate of running backs to start. Plus who knows if Alexander is even going to be 100% upon returning. It never hurts to have that extra insurance on the roster. But the big reason for the deal was McGahee who has the brighter future. With Dunn already being pushed by Norwood in the Falcons backfield, it might be only a matter of time before Dunn's starting status is questioned. McGahee, on the other hand, is just about the only competent anything in Buffalo and probably will be relevant until 2020.
From October 25th to October 28th, five blockbuster deals were made, and I was involved in four of them. If not for that fifth one and Morris, I would have entitle the piece "Iceberg, Right Ahead!" but instead have settled on the largely recycled Monty Hall game show title.
October 25th:
Ed gets:
Drew Brees
Michael Turner
Lance Briggs
Drew's 9th round 2007 selection
Drew gets:
Brandon Jacobs
Kellen Winslow
Michael Pittman
Ed's 6th round 2007 selection
Why it makes sense for Madd Skillz?
In a one week span, Ed went from having two capable if not flashy quarterback to zero. The Tony Romo era began in Dallas and Vikings decided to roll over Matt Hasselbeck's legs. And so for the second time this season, Ed came knocking on my door for quarterback help. Drew Brees is a nice fit, as he has been a steady presence who occasionally opens up for the spectacular performance. He had 21 points last week, and that's with four turnovers. Regardless, with Colston, McCallister, Horn, and Bush, Brees has an offense to work with.
Michael Turner offers depth in the event that LT breaks a leg. Having been after Turner for the better part of the season, Ed finally secured this much coveted backup letting him sleep at night. Also, the addition of Lance Briggs should allow Jamie to sleep soundly after I was told that he was one of her favorite players and who am I to separate a woman and her Bear?
The final part of the deal, and the part that took awhile to hammer out, was the draft pick compensation. We went back and forth on these rounds, throwing out several different options, with Ed desperate to stay out of the supplemental rounds. In the end, he managed to make that happen reacquiring a draft pick, albeit a lower one in the trade.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
At the time I was still under this charade of building toward next year. Brees has twice been a keeper, but a modest one at that. As mentioned his steady presence has been a nice addition to the team, but the opportunity to acquire Tiki's replacement was too great to pass up. I am, actually, the worst general manager of all-time as I went back and looked at all the opportunities I had to acquire Jacobs' talents before this trade.
Actual order of selections from this year's draft:
Drew - Adam Vinateri
JR - Issac Bruce
Stem - Antowain Smith
Ed - Brandon Jacobs
Boy doesn't that sum up four seasons in a nutshell?
Then the week before this deal was solidified, Ed offered Jacobs for Turner straight up. I nearly accepted, but at the time, Turner was playing the 49ers and I thought he'd be more beneficial than the Giant. As such I declined and said that I'd be happy to revisit the deal after Turner was done trashing San Francisco. Turner went on to have 0 carries (despite LT and the Chargers running up the score), and Tiki announced his retirement. As such, the deal I should have taken was off the table. So, instead of having Jacobs, I took a kicker and held onto a backup running back. See, I suck.
But alas, I have Jacobs and some other pieces in the form of Bicycle Solider Kellen Winslow and a mid-round selection next year.
October 26th
Eli gets:
Randy Moss
Drew gets:
Michael Vick
5th round selection in 2007
Why it makes sense for The Slumpbusters?
In the three weeks before the trade, Moss seemed to be returning to form with 17 catches and 2 TDs. Oakland was looking less inept, and frankly Moss's value had never been lower. It was an opportunity to buy low and bolster a receiving corp that was starting Reggie Williams while big names Santana Moss and Roy Williams suffered through byes. Losing Vick was no big loss to Eli as Marc Bulger was the starter on this team, and he had made it through the bye. Dealing from his strength at quarterback had already happened this year when The Gun moved Rex Grossman to JR, so moving another non-playing QB was not unexpected.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
I had a huge gaping hole at quarterback after Brees departed, and Eli is a shrewd, opportunistic dealer who offered a good player at what I still deem a good price. While I'm not sold that Vick is going to do this 3 TD thing every week, as 99% of ESPN's analysts believe, I will still take him on the chance that he does have this type of outing here and there. Vick is a better option than every one on the wire and certainly better than Byron "Is he injured? Is he even the starter?" Leftwich who by default had inherited Tice's Partyboat's QB slot. The draft pick was simply icing on the cake as I, like all Minnesotans, was sick of Moss' shenanigans.
Oct. 26th
Baron gets:
Alge Crumpler
Drew gets:
6th round selection in 2006
Why it makes sense for Fresh Legs?
Despite a fairly solid line-up, tight end was the glaring weakness in Baron's roster. Heath Miller hasn't been a regular part of the Steelers' game plan (just 14 catches), due in no small part to Big Ben's continued struggles. Dallas Clark also has struggled not reaping the benefits of being in the league's best offense (just 19 catches). The opportunity to upgrade to Alge Crumpler (26 catches and as many TDs as the other two combined) was a wise one. It was also a pleasant plus that Crumpler would be coming over the week where he was set to line-up opposite Fresh Legs as Tice's Partyboat's tight end.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
Again, I was still in full fledged rebuilding mode trying to trade any and everything I could this year that would help next year. This deal was in the works even before Kellen Winslow came my way, but once he did, Crumpler was done with Tice's Partyboat. It was after this deal that Ed and I engaged in a series of e-mails with the subject line "Trade Whoring."
Oct. 27th
JR gets:
Edgerrin James
Drew gets:
Carnell Williams
Why it makes sense for The Nihilist Marmot?
Carnell has struggled with the Bucs thanks to a dumb offense and bloody spleens. He has just one touchdown on the season, and frankly, JR grew tired of the exhaust fumes. James, despite his struggles, is still getting a ton of touches in the desert. When Dennis Green gets canned, maybe Arizona will start playing football and James can return to form.
Why it makes sense for Tice's Partyboat?
All of you sons of bitches had combined to make it impossible to trade Edgerrin James for much more than a Culver's ice cream cone (an actual trade I made with Lincoln back in the day did in fact involve frozen custard which was incredibly tasty). A starting running back was just a plus. Though maybe I should have held out for the frozen custard. Damn it, now I'm regretting the whole thing.
Oct. 28th
Eli gets:
Warrick Dunn
Tomke gets:
Maurice Morris
Willis McGahee
Why it makes sense for The Slumpbusters?
In my personal opinion, Eli made this move because he's getting antsy. He's buying into the jinx, and he's doing everything possible to combat it. Warrick Dunn plays for the best rushing team in football and is part of the "now" solution. McGahee is racking up a lot of yards but isn't getting in the end zone. The better bet to win this year is to go with the guy who is playing for Atlanta rather than Buffalo. Lastly, Maurice Morris' value is declining with each passing week as Alexander gets set to return. Why not move him, even as if a trade sweetener while you still can?
Why it makes sense for Who Is Ron Mexico?
Even if a one or two week option, Morris does give Tomke a full slate of running backs to start. Plus who knows if Alexander is even going to be 100% upon returning. It never hurts to have that extra insurance on the roster. But the big reason for the deal was McGahee who has the brighter future. With Dunn already being pushed by Norwood in the Falcons backfield, it might be only a matter of time before Dunn's starting status is questioned. McGahee, on the other hand, is just about the only competent anything in Buffalo and probably will be relevant until 2020.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Bertrand Berry meet Cato Fucking June
Morris has impacted the league again. This time, though, in reporting it, I am giddy as all hell. I feel legit pain for Baron because it sucks to lose on Thursday, but folks, I'm back in the mess of things.
Cato June received credit for a sack, forced fumble, and assisted tackle boosting Tice's Partyboat from 118.50 to 123.00 and a victory.
I just wet myself. Back later.
Cato June received credit for a sack, forced fumble, and assisted tackle boosting Tice's Partyboat from 118.50 to 123.00 and a victory.
I just wet myself. Back later.
Numbers Galore
In my constant quest to do nothing that I should be doing, I set out today to create a formula to tell me something about the league and how the teams line up. No specific formula, mind you, nothing I was curious about, I just wanted to get a few columns of data and start dividing. I did, and I failed. So instead, here's the raw data I compiled.
Average Points Above Mean- on any given week, where your score ranks in comparison to the league average:
1. Madd Skillz +26.75
2. The Slumpbusters +10.09
3. Naj Davenport's Poop +8.16
4. The Nihilist Marmot +5.47
5. Fresh Legs +1.25
6. ChamPeons -5.69
7. Tice's Partyboat -8.46
8. Cellar Dwellers -11.91
9. Father Abraham -12.19
10. Who is Ron Mexico -13.06
Expected Win Ratio- The number of wins you have, divided by the number of wins you should.
1. ChamPeons- 5
2. Tice's Partyboat- 1.3
3. Cellar Dwellers- 1
4. Father Abraham- 1
5. Madd Skillz- 1
6. The Slumpbusters- 1
7. Who Is Ron Mexico- 1
8. Naj Davenport's Poop- 0.85
9. The Nihilist Marmot- 0.83
10. Fresh Legs- 0.5
Weekly Scoring Average- When ranking the scores for a week 1-10, where does your team typically stand?
1. Madd Skillz 2.3
2. The Nihilist Marmot 4.0
3. Naj Davenport's Poop 4.1
4. Fresh Legs 4.6
5. The Slumpbusters 5.3
6. Tice's Partyboat 6.8
7. Father Abraham 6.9
8. ChamPeons 7.0
9. Cellar Dwellers 7.1
10. Who is Ron Mexico 7.1
Average Points Above Mean- on any given week, where your score ranks in comparison to the league average:
1. Madd Skillz +26.75
2. The Slumpbusters +10.09
3. Naj Davenport's Poop +8.16
4. The Nihilist Marmot +5.47
5. Fresh Legs +1.25
6. ChamPeons -5.69
7. Tice's Partyboat -8.46
8. Cellar Dwellers -11.91
9. Father Abraham -12.19
10. Who is Ron Mexico -13.06
Expected Win Ratio- The number of wins you have, divided by the number of wins you should.
1. ChamPeons- 5
2. Tice's Partyboat- 1.3
3. Cellar Dwellers- 1
4. Father Abraham- 1
5. Madd Skillz- 1
6. The Slumpbusters- 1
7. Who Is Ron Mexico- 1
8. Naj Davenport's Poop- 0.85
9. The Nihilist Marmot- 0.83
10. Fresh Legs- 0.5
Weekly Scoring Average- When ranking the scores for a week 1-10, where does your team typically stand?
1. Madd Skillz 2.3
2. The Nihilist Marmot 4.0
3. Naj Davenport's Poop 4.1
4. Fresh Legs 4.6
5. The Slumpbusters 5.3
6. Tice's Partyboat 6.8
7. Father Abraham 6.9
8. ChamPeons 7.0
9. Cellar Dwellers 7.1
10. Who is Ron Mexico 7.1
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Basketball Preseason Poll
Despite not getting all ballots turned in, we'll project the finish for the preseason poll. Remaining ballot was created based on the average voting position through the 9 that were turned in. It actually took more time than it would have to pick nine names out of a hat and email that to me, but I digress.
Rank. Team Name (Owner): Total Points (First Place Votes)
1. Kobe's Concierge (Ed Schillinger): 69 (3)
-I'm honored, really. If nothing else, you've all validated the claim that no one pays attention to the NBA, or maybe you just pay little attention to rosters when voting. This is an award I accept humbly based solely on track record, though that hasn't been the greatest outside of football. You're all morons.
2. That's What She Said (Eli Gieryna): 66 (2)
-The keeper names weren't as jaw-dropping as we've gotten used to, but the lineup and the frontcourt is very good. Defending champ should be one higher, but got two 5th place votes that make for the 3 point disparity.
3. Father Abraham (Lincoln Souzek): 59 (2)
-Lincoln's lofty ranking proves that often times we outthink ourselves during draft day. His autodraft, based on yahoo's rankings, led to numerous studs that get overlooked for one reason or another. Bobby Simmons, Stephon Marbury and Chris Webber scared people off for various reasons, but were great values where selected making FA very deep.
4. Cellar Dwellers (Andrew Stem): 54 (2)
-As long as Kobe Bryant doesn't break his foot and stay in his starting lineup despite being ruled out of action, Stem has got the #2 keeper core in the league. Went Guard Crazy with the roster, leaving Jermaine O'Neal, Channing Frye, Drew Gooden and Marcus Camby as the team's only bigs. Will probably need to deal some PG depth for a rebounder at some point.
5. Big Tuna (Drew Wolf): 47
-2nd team name with a "The Office" theme. Would probably be higher if anyone in the US knew that keeper Pau Gasol had a broken foot. Still, KG, Duncan and Shaq make for a frightening frontcourt. Real wild card is Ron Artest.
6. Thursdays w/Morris (Andy Viano): 42
-League's top keeper corps was hurt by absent minded drafting by yours truly, going solely off of a hastily thrown together list about 2 hours before the draft. The list contained a fair share of guards, so it wasn't until a round 8 phone call that I realized I hadn't autodrafted a single rebounder for Viano. As a result, that'll be his weakness, but still: Lebron-Paul-Brand.
7. Charlie V's Eyebrows (JR Radcliffe): 41
-In addition to an affection for making fun of people with alopecia, Radcliffe has an affection for Brad Miller. And Andrei Kirilenko. Both anchor a strong froncourt, with Jason Richardson and Allen Iverson making up a top backcourt. The flex spots are iffy, but if Gerald Wallace is healthy, he'll help. I don't know if anyone told him, but JR forfeited his right to make fun of Baron drafting David Lee by virtue of picking Steve Francis in round 4.
8. ChamPeons (Brent Whitlock): 36 (1)
-Received one first and two last place votes in the poll. Had a really solid draft, should be much, much higher, again a testamant to how little attention this league pays to the NBA. This is a top 4 team.
9. Slippery When Wet (Baron Brendel): 23
-People kept telling me they didn't get "Lamar Odom's Calves" (it's a reference to 'Entourage', people) and I feel the same way about Baron's. Is it an inside joke? An HBO show that I'm not into? Just a lame remark about hardwood floors? Whatever. You have 2 members of the Knick frontcourt on this team, so you deserve to be in 9th.
10. Rony Seikaly (Dave Tomke): 13
-Outside of Adam Morrison, Dave's draft was very good. I'm not saying he can move up in the poll, but he deserved better than a 13 point showing. His first two draft picks were better than any of his keepers.
Also receiving votes: Chicago Bears- 10, Charlie V's Anus- 3, I just hate Baron- 1
Also- one quick note about the locking and subsequent unlocking of 2 rosters today- it was dues punishment. Since the sentence was handed down, the league office has received assurances that the checks have been mailed. In the spirit of a friendly league, both owners have been taken at their word.
Rank. Team Name (Owner): Total Points (First Place Votes)
1. Kobe's Concierge (Ed Schillinger): 69 (3)
-I'm honored, really. If nothing else, you've all validated the claim that no one pays attention to the NBA, or maybe you just pay little attention to rosters when voting. This is an award I accept humbly based solely on track record, though that hasn't been the greatest outside of football. You're all morons.
2. That's What She Said (Eli Gieryna): 66 (2)
-The keeper names weren't as jaw-dropping as we've gotten used to, but the lineup and the frontcourt is very good. Defending champ should be one higher, but got two 5th place votes that make for the 3 point disparity.
3. Father Abraham (Lincoln Souzek): 59 (2)
-Lincoln's lofty ranking proves that often times we outthink ourselves during draft day. His autodraft, based on yahoo's rankings, led to numerous studs that get overlooked for one reason or another. Bobby Simmons, Stephon Marbury and Chris Webber scared people off for various reasons, but were great values where selected making FA very deep.
4. Cellar Dwellers (Andrew Stem): 54 (2)
-As long as Kobe Bryant doesn't break his foot and stay in his starting lineup despite being ruled out of action, Stem has got the #2 keeper core in the league. Went Guard Crazy with the roster, leaving Jermaine O'Neal, Channing Frye, Drew Gooden and Marcus Camby as the team's only bigs. Will probably need to deal some PG depth for a rebounder at some point.
5. Big Tuna (Drew Wolf): 47
-2nd team name with a "The Office" theme. Would probably be higher if anyone in the US knew that keeper Pau Gasol had a broken foot. Still, KG, Duncan and Shaq make for a frightening frontcourt. Real wild card is Ron Artest.
6. Thursdays w/Morris (Andy Viano): 42
-League's top keeper corps was hurt by absent minded drafting by yours truly, going solely off of a hastily thrown together list about 2 hours before the draft. The list contained a fair share of guards, so it wasn't until a round 8 phone call that I realized I hadn't autodrafted a single rebounder for Viano. As a result, that'll be his weakness, but still: Lebron-Paul-Brand.
7. Charlie V's Eyebrows (JR Radcliffe): 41
-In addition to an affection for making fun of people with alopecia, Radcliffe has an affection for Brad Miller. And Andrei Kirilenko. Both anchor a strong froncourt, with Jason Richardson and Allen Iverson making up a top backcourt. The flex spots are iffy, but if Gerald Wallace is healthy, he'll help. I don't know if anyone told him, but JR forfeited his right to make fun of Baron drafting David Lee by virtue of picking Steve Francis in round 4.
8. ChamPeons (Brent Whitlock): 36 (1)
-Received one first and two last place votes in the poll. Had a really solid draft, should be much, much higher, again a testamant to how little attention this league pays to the NBA. This is a top 4 team.
9. Slippery When Wet (Baron Brendel): 23
-People kept telling me they didn't get "Lamar Odom's Calves" (it's a reference to 'Entourage', people) and I feel the same way about Baron's. Is it an inside joke? An HBO show that I'm not into? Just a lame remark about hardwood floors? Whatever. You have 2 members of the Knick frontcourt on this team, so you deserve to be in 9th.
10. Rony Seikaly (Dave Tomke): 13
-Outside of Adam Morrison, Dave's draft was very good. I'm not saying he can move up in the poll, but he deserved better than a 13 point showing. His first two draft picks were better than any of his keepers.
Also receiving votes: Chicago Bears- 10, Charlie V's Anus- 3, I just hate Baron- 1
Also- one quick note about the locking and subsequent unlocking of 2 rosters today- it was dues punishment. Since the sentence was handed down, the league office has received assurances that the checks have been mailed. In the spirit of a friendly league, both owners have been taken at their word.
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