Last week, I went to church for the first time in a long time, and I came back to witness Lee Evans' third touchdown of the day get recorded on the StatTracker. This week, I'm going to church again, hoping to offset some Drew Bennett karma.
Please don't let The Octagon be appropriately saddled with just eight wins.
67 comments:
I'm not sleeping tonight. I'm painting my face black and screaming "JR RADCLIFFE" into an empty, dark room for hours and hours.
Then I'll have Skittles.
Sounds extraordinarly kinky.
Hey Dave!
-Reggie Bush
Vaitrucci (11:11:16 AM): I'm going to tear you limb from limb you cheese-loving motherfucker
BrewFan101 (11:11:29 AM): I like puppies
Hey- did you guys know that the Jaguars are trying to ruin the Colts' unbeaten season this week?
Fred Taylor starts for Jacksonville, but Greg Jones may get more carries.
JR picks Greg Jones. Smart decision?
Doesn't look like it on the first drive. All Taylor, all the time.
Drew Bennett scores the first points of the matchup with a reception. Eli leads, 0.50-0.00.
First two touchdowns of the day within a few seconds of each other- and the VUFSA yawns as Viano builds a lead, and Drew's Ruben Droughns is denied.
Torry Holt increases to the lead to an insurmountable 1 point.
Mancrush Marvin strikes a key early blow for JR.
Eli has tears running through his facepaint, i'm sure.
I would celebrate if Greg Jones got ANY TOUCHES on the other side of that ball.
A touch for Greg Jones, who is still in the game.
And don't look now, but Baron is having a nice little week against Drew so far.
Hey Eli, remember me?
-Cadillac
Hello, Cadillac.
You have herpes. Literally. My friend at Auburn informed me of this.
I did share a locker room with Daunte Culpepper for a few weeks.
-Caddy
I have herpes, too! Talk about me!
-Michael Vick
Despite the good lead for JR, early on, the lack of Greg Jones, and late game players remaining for both teams, Eli looks very good rightnow.
I traded for Vick solely because he has herpes.
-Tomke
Ed has spent the entire season saying that I "look good" in a gigantic jinx attempt.
It only figures he would continue it right up until the very end.
Racist.
Whoa, jinx nothing. JR's got a starting RB who isn't touching the ball, and you send out Tiki, Gates and Portis against Terry Glenn, Tony G and Mike Anderson.
My Super Fan, Adam, is also wearing black face paint today. He's going to be a dentist someday.
Mancrush Marvin again. JR has this all locked up.
(better?)
Viano is having another scorching week. How haunting does that loss to Champ look now?
I am AWFUL.
-Kyle Orton
So am I.
-Willis McGahee
Vaitrucci (1:06:40 PM): Willis McGahee is fucking terrible
Vaitrucci (1:06:41 PM): FUCKING TERRIBLE
BrewFan101 (1:06:43 PM): it appears that way
Vaitrucci (1:06:49 PM): I'm going to eat fudge
Here I come Bears Fans! I'll save the....ow, my leg hurts.
-Rex Grossman
Gee Peyton, your genitals smell different this week.
-Dan Dierdorf
I don't know how to use Blogger.
Genitals? I assume I have them. Don't know for sure, since I can't see them. That's why I keep the faith.
-rlh
2:10 EST
Lincoln and Stem= combined 13.75 points
Marvin Harrison= 19 points
The Jaguars evidently think they've become a hockey team.
This Jags-Colts game looks like the end of "SlapShot"
Discussion topic:
Better keeper ... Willis McGahee or Frank Gore?
Champ, are you out there?
It's kind of ironic how we joke about Frank Gore- yet he's going to be drafted in the first two rounds of our next draft.
I was semi-serious.
The Gun might not want to hear this- but if there's anything good about watching Marvin and Reggie have big tames, it's that Edgerrin James has been invisible so far. Therefore, Wolfman is struggling and may run into trouble against Baron.
Semi-serious? Well then, Willis is better. He had a down year in a mess of a football team. Don't kid yourself.
"Snickers or Twix?"
-Jim Hendry
It's halftime everywhere, and here's what we know.
-JR had an awfully good first half, and has to hope that Indy keeps throwing.
-Gun still has an edge in the later games, but really needs a big second half from the Rams and Willis McGahee to have a shot.
-Drew should be worried, but only about his team. Baron has been solid, but overall underwhelming.
-Stem and Lincoln's game is hard to watch.
-Viano is having an insane week, and it's too bad he's already out.
Whoa, I missed that McGahee left the game with a concussion. Ouch.
Did I seriously fumble AGAIN on a punt return? How do I have a job?
-Bobby Wade
The FOX announcers are idiots. They're blasting the Bears defense for playing poorly -- heaven forbid that a team give up 14 points!
It's the offense, stupid.
Websters defines "kickinthecrotch" as a 14 yard TD run by Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Ryan Fitzpatrick? Seriously?
I like games in the snow. And fairies.
"What's wrong wit you?"
-bears offense, to Kyle orton.
-LeBron James, in his dinner roll shooting commercial.
What the hell are we going to do with 1,000 hyperbolic stories comparing 05 to 85 now?
-Chicago Media
Is it bad when your kicker has nearly twice as many points as anyone else on your team?
3:10 EST:
Lincoln+Stem= 24.75 points
Peyton Manning= 23.25 points
I'm dizzy.
-Willis McGahee
Blow me Eli
What? Who am I blowing? Is that you, Kyle Orton?
A bail out catch by your wide receiver does not entitle you to fellatio.
Carson Palmer's Day Of Suck against the Browns is ruining our Plan B.
I am off to Valpo, therefore I must bow out of the open thread.
Any phone calls with pertinent Sex Panther updates are appreciated.
The Texans have to ask themselves- which would fetch more on the market: Domanick Davis or the No. 1 pick?
Hahaha, the answer is the No. 1 pick. They can probably get a quarterback and entire offensive line for that slot. Shit, Mike Ditka once gave up his entire draft...to get Ricky Williams.
The question is no longer "if" the Texans get the pick. They're trying to lose now.
So how 'bout that fantasy NBA?
-andy
Feel free to love Chris Chambers, he's not helping you win, dammit. Dammit Baron, I needed you.
Things I wasn't saying after a five game losing streak:
Well I'm going to win the rest of my games this year. Not only that, but I'm going to beat the (real) best two teams in the league in each of the last two weeks, despite them both scoring in the top three for the week. Also, I'm going to make out with your girlfriend/wife in the process.
Antowain Smith is doing what he can to take Bertrand Berry's spot in the VUFSA Hall of Fame.
Yes, that son of a bitch was doing his best, and despite not having stat tracker, I have to believe I was losing thanks to his early 50 yards rushing and TD. Alas, he withered away and the brackets are set...right, Morris?
-Drew
Yep, brackets all set. You don't see The Gun in the playoffs, do you?
-Morris
Thanks, Morris. The pay off is in the mail *wink wink*
-Drew
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