Season Preview: POP POP!!!

According to Yahoo!, Nelson Cruz was the highest rated player available in the draft. He fell to you at pick 6, was that a huge surprise?

I was not expecting Nelson Cruz to even be available. I wanted to target a 2b due to positional scarcity, but he fact that hew as available as a power/avg/speed source trumped my plans and I jumped on him. I don't know why he was available, but adding him and rasmus to mccutchen made one of my weaknesses (OF) a strength for me.

You have one of the best lineups in terms of power in the league. You also have major SB potential on the bench with Rajai Davis. How do you balance playing to your strength (power) while addressing a weakness (speed)?

My top 4 outfield guys all have speed. in 2010 here are their SB numbers: McCutchen (33), Cruz (17), Rasmus (12), Davis (50). I'm not really worried about speed. I wont dominate, but I won't be paltry in those categories.

Who was your best draft pick?

I felt my best draft pick was either Aaron Hill or Rajai Davis. Hill had something like a .190 BABIP last year, and while he has started off slowly this year, I expect major improvement. I expect 25 HR,.350 OBP and perhaps a handful of SB. I was happy to pick him up late and address a positional need. In addition, getting elite speed with Rajai Davis that late was great. I targeted him early and was glad that he stuck around.

Who do you feel you reached for?

I reached for Cahill. I fell in love with his wins and era. However, he's not a strikeout pitcher and his BABIP last year was ridiculously low, so he should regress. I probably should have drafted Anderson at that spot since he's their best pitcher. I'm not upset, but that was my biggest reach. Any regrets from the draft? JR drafted Starlin Castro 3 picks before I did, and considering Stephen Drew's injury thus far, that would have been a huge pick at that point. I actually think that was the best pick in the whole draft. Castro is vastly underrated and think he'll have an outstanding year. To pick him up that late was tremendous.

You took Asian players in back to back rounds, both of whom were being targeted by Dave Tomke. How does that make you feel?

Any Asians that I can keep safely under the wing of my protection from Tomke's fantasy sweatshop is a victory for the children of Asia. I'm the fantasy UNICEF.

Season Preview: Chet Steadman

Coming into the draft, how do you feel your keepers stacked up to the rest of the league?

Like a raccoon versus a large truck

What was your primary objective heading into the draft? And to that effect, did you accomplish it?

I drafted like a champ...I'm Champ. Still being Champ is an accomplishment...and right now I feel thirsty.

You had the #1 overall pick. Was Tommy Hanson a slam dunk, despite you keeping 3 pitchers?

Pitching is important because I got owned there last year. Tommy Hanson seemed like the type of guy that could help this year and likely hang around the club for a few years...possibly even be my friend.

Jacoby Ellsbury and Shane Victorino represent good value in rounds 4 and 6 resp- but leave your team lacking in power. Do you plan to address run production either via trade or via the waiver wire?

Possibly...but I may lead the league this year in inside the park home runs, and that's important to me.

Who was your best draft pick? Conversely, who do you feel you “reached” for?

Miguel "Thunderballs" Montero was the best pick. Montero is like a stronger, well-developed, more-talented, more-respected and more hispanic version of Tyler Lowell -- Valpo's catcher during the WVUR golden era. Ian Stewart was a reach...no Stewart was "a panic." I remember I was looking for Neil Walker on the roster of third basemen, and for some reason I couldn't find him at that moment. I was running out of time when I drafted Stewart...so I cut his ass. Thankfully, I was able to draft Walker in the next round thanks to a little device called search bar...but Walker crapped on the Cubs in the season opener. What a dick.

Season Preview Bob Hamelin

Coming into the draft, how do you feel your keepers stacked up to the rest of the league?

Not good. I had every intention of keeping Adam Wainwright, and his preseason injury naturally put a crimp in my plans. Then again, I wasn't sure who to NOT keep and so that crystallized the decision for me. I have some enviable quality at scarce positions with Kinsler and Reyes, and though Ichiro is unsexy, he is a multi-category standout. My concern is that I don't have a dominant player at any position coming into the year and a weak pitching staff comparitively with Gallardo and Price.

That in mind, what was your primary objective heading into the draft?

I wanted to get a big bat or two -- possibly at first base -- and was very pleased to get Morneau where I did. That made me feel better about what else I had, which is a bunch of quality guys without a dominant power bat.

And do that effect, did you accomplish it?

Loved my draft. Loved the late pickup of Matt Wieters, which allows me to use Victor Martinez as a DH or 1B bat when needed. You made Heath Bell the first closer taken, in the second round. Would you do that again, knowing what we know now? Sure, why not? In a league where you start three closers, I think it's nice to have at least one stud, and Bell is by many accounts the best in the draft. With six keepers, we're really talking about the eighth round, which is squarely like someone of Bell's caliber should go. Saves are one of the easiest stats to get throughout the year, but you don't want all three of those RP slots to be patchwork. I'm very happy with my stable of relievers.

Did you anticipate Corey Hart being available in the 8th round? Do you feel that is your best value? If not, then who?

I'm happy to get him there, but I'm nervous about where this oblique injury will leave him. Even if he's 100 percent healthy, we're still talking about one great year after a year and a half of horror, so it's still unclear who the real Corey Hart is. I didn't really ponder taking him earlier but saw his availability in the 8th as a must-grab...probably my best value, yes. I also think I made a sneaky good pick with Carlos Lee late, particualrly because I needed power and an outfielder desperately. I feel I was able to upgrade other areas and still get the OF need covered with Hart on DL by taking Lee that late.

Justin Morneau in the 3rd round- it's obviously a high risk pick, any hesitation when you saw him there?

No way, because I had thought about him in the first round before ultimately thinking that was too early, and REALLY thought about him in the second round but measured that he would get back to me based on what was off the board and who was picking. I knew most teams were set at 1B with keepers, so if there's any hesitation it would be that guys might have continued to look at other positions for another round, but I love my pick there. The concussion is weird -- but if it's truly gone, it should have zero impact on his abilities, and I would thus have a bona fide MVP candidate with a ninth-round value.

Any draft regrets? What does your team need to work on and what is it's greatest strength?

I really regretted not taking Lidge earlier and got sniped, but that was before I learned his injury situation was going to be much longer. I think he was really undervalued on cheat sheets this year. My pitching is pretty weak, so I'm banking on some under-the-radar type players having strong years. Also, I regret that I root for the Milwaukee Fucking Brewers.

Season Preview: Bip Roberts

-Coming into the draft, how do you feel your keepers stacked up to the rest of the league?

I liked some of my players but felt I was lacking the dominant superstar of certain positions. Several of my guys were drafted in the first two rounds of this year's draft and are really good players. Guys like Tommy Hanson, Nelson Cruz, and Carlos Santana were all close cuts, but were they really that much better than Adrian Gonzalez (coming off injury and a wealth of power available at first base), Frank Lirano (who strikes out a lot of guys, but is not considered a dominant pitcher), or Shin Soo Choo (who does nothing wrong but also nothing spectacularly well)?

-That in mind, what was your primary objective heading into the draft? And do that effect, did you accomplish it?

I honestly don't have a draft strategy and rarely do I even target a single guy. I usually go into a draft with a few players in mind but am always trying to pick the best available player, regardless of position. If mockdraftcentral would have let me, I was not going to draft a catcher. Once Carlos Santana was off the board, I didn't feel as if anyone was worthy of using a draft pick that couldn't be picked up later on waivers. In previous years, I've been short in the runs/steals category, so I did attempt to get a few guys who would help out there (Gardner).

-You were able to get Chris Young, a 25-25 guy, in the fifth round- was that your best draft pick?

If I could remember the order of who I picked, I would be better able to comment on the value of the Chris Young pick. That said, I think he's a good player. I think he'll play better than last year and doesn't have a statistical weakness (re: Shin Soo Choo). I was also pleased to get Rickie Weeks in the first round, as I debated between him and Dan Uggla, but that decision was made for me and I like how it turned out. I think Clay Buchholz is going to win a lot of games and that Brett Myers was undervalued, so I was also pleased with those two. And I was able to sprinkle a couple of prospects in there that have potential but won't cripple me if they don't turn out in Tyler Colvin and Freddie Freeman.

-Just two of your first ten picks were allocated to Starting Pitchers. Are you confident in rebound years from Jake Peavy and Carlos Zambrano?

No, I'm not. Again, I don't recall the order of the draft, but I'm pretty sure that I had Lincecum, Liriano, Buchholz, and Myers before I drafted Peavy or Zambrano. I'm hoping they make for bottom of the rotation mediocrity. I honestly feel Brian Duensing is going to have as competitive of a year as either of the two injured fellows. But, Peavy is a DL guy who isn't taking up a roster spot and I have no issue finding a guy or two on the waiver wire.

-Did you “miss” on any of your draft targets? Any draft regrets?

Probably because he's an Indian, Carlos Santana was sad to see go. I also thought Victor Martinez would have been an asset since he's doing the DH thing and could have filled the catcher position. I also loved my team at the end of last year and would have liked to have back Nelson Cruz and Tommy Hanson, but that was not feasible.

-What do you feel is your team’s biggest deficiency?

Starting pitching. I'm not in love with Liriano. You've pointed out the Peavy/Zambrano Chicago-land mess. Living in Minnesota, I think I've heard way more about Brian Duensing than anyone else, but he's largely unproven. And is any draft really that good when you utter the words "I'm excited about Brett Myers?" Oddly enough, the position I didn't want to draft at all, catcher, has turned out to be my best position through the first week of the season. I'm willing to trade Russell Martin for any Cy Young contenders if anyone is interested.

Also, I hate drafting closers. Just throwing that out there.

Season Preview: Smooth Like Quade

Coming into the draft, how do you feel your keepers stacked up to the rest of the league?

Well, it's hard for me to answer this without sounding like a jackass, but I feel like they're pretty awesome. Halladay and Pujols are arguably/probably the best pitcher and hitter in the game, while Carlos Gonzalez is young and coming off an MVP-caliber season. Ryan Howard is getting older, but still provides plenty of help in the power categories. Justin Upton regressed a bit last year, but still managed to help a bit in every category; there's plenty of upside there with his age and pedigree. And Jon Lester is just entering his prime, strikes out 700 guys per year and has a good offense behind him.So yeah, I guess I liked my keepers.

What was your primary objective heading into the draft? And to that effect, did you accomplish it?

My objective with a big draft like this is just to get as many good players as I can, without worrying too much about categories or positional scarcity. There's usually enough help available on the waiver wire that the positions tend to sort themselves out and I can target categories as needed when it gets later in the season. I also try to get a balance of younger guys with upside and then some veterans who I know don't have too low of a floor (the Bobby Abreu and Derek Jeter picks, for example), which usually helps me balance out some inevitable failures from the upside guys. Also, why am I giving away my approach to drafting to the rest of you idiots?

Carlos Santana fell to you at the end of the fifth round. Was that a target for you or did it just work out?

That definitely was NOT on my radar going into the draft. First, I figured he'd be gone by the time I wanted to draft a catcher because 1.) He's a really good young player and/or 2.) Drew Wolf is in our league. But by the time it got to that round, he was the last of the elite-level catchers left and it was too good of a value to pass up. I liked the idea of having a catcher who could actually help me in OBP rather than trying to find one who won't submarine the category for me.

Do you have any regrets with the way your draft worked out?

[JR Radcliffe]I didn't prepare a whole lot for the draft this year[/JR Radcliffe], which didn't really seem to be a problem in the first 8-10 rounds because most of those guys are familiar. But later in the draft, I probably didn't have a very good grasp on a few sleeper-type guys and maybe some closer situations around the league. I don't love the way my fake bullpen shook out, which is why I'm currently using too many roster spots on Potential Closer guys in hopes that one of them will eventually break through and give me some saves.

Your draft did not yield a lot of power hitters. Confidence in your keepers or the way things worked out?

A little bit of both, actually. Keeping Pujols, Howard, Gonzalez and Upton's Untapped Upside gave me a fair amount of power going into the draft, so I didn't feel the need to go after power immediately. Though as the draft went on, I realized I hadn't really addressed the category -- but most of the guys with big power numbers were too flawed in other ways for my liking. There's always a Jack Cust type of guy out there if I feel the need to add some power to my lineup. Speaking of, I probably should go add him right now. Thanks for reminding me.

What is your teams biggest deficiency and conversely, its biggest strength?

From a quick glance, I'd probably say my starting pitching is my biggest strength. I'm a little worried about Mat Latos to start the year, but if he gets his arm sorted out and puts together another year like 2010, I'll be in good shape. I also feel like I have a pretty well-balanced offense, though maybe a little light on steals. Biggest weakness would probably be the bullpen and, again, not having a standout speed guy who's a lock for 40-plus steals.

Football Record Book

Via The Dugout hero Jon Bois at SBNation. I highly recommend this one and this one as well.

Welcome to 2011 everyone! We saw a 46% bump in blog posts from 2009 to 2010. If we see similar growth this year, we will have close to 30 posts to read. That will fall just short of the league record 122 posts in 2006.

New Additions In Italics

High Score (Single Game)

1. 188.00 Eli Gieryna- Week 6, 2009
2 187.25 Eli Gieryna- Week 6, 2006
3. 179.25 Ed Schillinger- Week 12, 2006
4. 176.75 Ed Schillinger- Week 10, 2006
5. 176.25 Ed Schillinger- Week 11, 2006
6. 175.75 Drew Wolf- Week 12, 2010
7. 174.75 Ed Schillinger- Week 14, 2006
8. 174.00 Ed Schillinger- Week 6, 2007
9. 172.75 Ed Schillinger- Week 8, 2006
172.75 Eli Gieryna- Week 9, 2004
10. 171.50 Ed Schillinger- Week 12, 2005

Low Score (Single Game)

1. 42.00 Dave Tomke- Week 5, 2005
2. 44.25 Andy Viano- Week 14, 2009
3. 47.50 Dave Tomke- Week 9, 2005
4. 49.25 Andrew Hansen- Week 5, 2007
5. 52.00 Andrew Hansen- Week 8, 2007
6. 52.00 Andy Viano- Week 9, 2007
7. 52.25 Dave Tomke- Week 1, 2006
8. 52.50 Andrew Hansen- Week 10, 2005
9. 53.50 Dave Tomke- Week 13, 2008
10. 56.00 Brent Whitlock- Week 13, 2005
56.00 Andy Viano- Week 2, 2010

High Score (Season)

1. 2032.00 Ed Schillinger- 2006
2. 1850.25 Ed Schillinger- 2005
3. 1752.75 Eli Gieryna- 2004
4. 1707.75 Ed Schillinger- 2009
5. 1706.75 Eli Gieryna- 2009
6. 1697.00 Drew Wolf- 2010
7. 1695.25 Dave Tomke- 2007
8. 1675.50 Brent Whitlock- 2007
9. 1670.50 Andrew Stem- 2010
10. 1651.75 Drew Wolf- 2007

Most Points in a Loss

1. 160.50 Ed Schillinger- Week 6, 2006 (vs. Eli Gieryna)
2. 141.75 Eli Gieryna- Week 10, 2004 (vs. Drew Wolf)
141.75 Brent Whitlock- Week 9, 2004 (vs. Eli Gieryna)
4. 141.00 Dave Tomke- Week 13, 2007 (vs. Drew Wolf)
5. 140.25 Ed Schillinger- Week 11, 2010 (vs. Drew Wolf)
6. 135.75 Andy Viano- Week 9, 2006 (vs. Ed Schillinger)
7. 134.75 Eli Gieryna- Week 11, 2009 (vs. Ed Schillinger)
8. 134.00 Drew Wolf- Week 6, 2007 (vs. Ed Schillinger)
9. 132.25 Eli Gieryna- Week 3, 2010 (vs. Andrew Stem)
10. 132.00 Eli Gieryna- Week 11, 2004 (vs. Ed Schillinger)
Baron Brendel- Week 12, 2006 (vs. Brent Whitlock)

Largest Margin of Victory

1. 117.50 Ed Schillinger- Week 9, 2005
2. 105.75 Eli Gieryna- Week 14, 2009
3. 95.00 Ed Schillinger- Week 10, 2006
4. 92.00 Ed Schillinger- Week 8, 2006
5. 88.00 Ed Schillinger- Week 5, 2005
6. 79.50 Eli Gieryna- Week 5, 2009
7. 79.25 Andrew Stem- Week 2, 2010
8. 77.25 Eli Gieryna- Week 9, 2009
9. 76.00 Brent Whitlock- Week 12, 2008
10. 75.50 Andrew Stem- Week 4, 2005

Smallest Margin of Victory

1. 0.25 Wolf def. Schillinger- Week 11, 2010
2. 0.50 Radcliffe def. Gieryna- Week 14, 2004
Radcliffe def. Schillinger- Week 1, 2007
Gieryna def. Radcliffe- Week 5, 2007
Viano def. Radcliffe- Week 6, 2007
3. 0.75 Whitlock def. Viano- Week 1, 2006
Stem def. Souzek- Week 2, 2006
Schillinger def. Souzek- Week 3, 2006
Whitlock def. Tomke- Week 1, 2009
Wolf def. Brendel- Week 14, 2010
10. 1.00 Whitlock def. Viano- Week 10, 2004
1.00 Wolf def Welty- Week 3, 2010

Consecutive Wins

1. 10 Ed Schillinger- Week 1- Week 10, 2008
2. 8 Ed Schillinger- Week 7- Week 14, 2006
8 Andy Viano- Week 2-9, 2004
8 Andrew Stem- Week 1- Week 8, 2007

Consecutive Losses

1. 9 Lincoln Souzek- Week 6- Week 14, 2006
2. 8 Andrew Stem- Week 2-9, 2004
3. 7 Dave Tomke- Week 3-9, 2005
7 Lincoln Souzek- Week 5-11, 2005

Franchise Win-Loss

1. Ed Schillinger- 68-30 (.693)
2. Drew Wolf -59-39 (.602)
3. Andrew Stem- 54-44 (.551)
4. Brent Whitlock- 52-46 (.530)
5. JR Radcliffe- 49-48-1 (.500)
6. Andy Viano- 48-50 (.489)
7. Eli Gieryna- 45-53 (.459)
8. Dave Tomke- 38-45-1 (.452)
9. Baron Brendel- 30-54 (.360)
10. Adam Welty*- 30-68 (.306)

*15-27 personally (.357)

Total Points (Points Per Game)

1. Ed Schillinger, 12,065 (123.11)
2. Eli Gieryna, 10,958.00 (111.82)
3. Drew Wolf, 10,807.25 (110.28)
4. Brent Whitlock, 10586.25 (108.02)
5. Andrew Stem, 10,527.25 (107.42)
6. JR Radcliffe 10,102.25 (103.08)
7. Andy Viano, 9,815.25 (100.16)
8. Adam Welty*, 9,431.50 (96.24)
9. Dave Tomke, 8,582.75 (102.18)
10. Baron Brendel 8,215.00 (97.80)

*4,249.75 (101.18) personally

Week 12 Recapitulation

Well, things just got more boring in the VUFSA (obligatory league-self-deprecation remark: They got more boring? Is that even possible? Hee hee, harf harf).

With Champ's win over Dave, ChamPeons took a two-game lead for a playoff berth with just two weeks remaining. Given Champ's healthy point lead, he's unlikely to lose that spot. With Stem, Drew and Ed already clinching playoff berths, the playoff field is essentially locked up.

So, with that said, on to the recapitulation, the theme of which is not looking up any stats and instead making them up, because who's actually checking my work?

==============

Who is Ron Mexico? 90.50
ChamPeons 105.25

This turned out to be the most important game of the week, as a win from Dave would have put both him and Champ at 6-6. But hey, he didn't win and now here we are.

Champ didn't have any spectacular performances, though a rejuvenated Deion Branch put forth a pretty nice effort and Drew Brees was solid as always. As previously stated, Champ should make the playoffs barring a total collapse on his end AND some unlikely strong weeks from any of the 5-7 teams.

Dave was led by Louis Delmas' 29.75 points.

==============

Cover Tooth 112.00
Awkward Emoticons ;) 175.75

Whoa, Drew! Everyone's third-favorite Walgreens manager absolutely went off this week thanks to a couple of notable performances, including Tom Brady (35.25 points), Dwayne Bowe (97 points) and Vernon Davis (2 points). The high point total is notable in that it pushed Drew ahead of Stem in the points standings to give him an edge for the No. 1 seed, if that race would come down to it.

Also, Drew, you're welcome for Dwayne Bowe.

Welty absorbed yet another loss coming from an opponent with a high point total. He now possesses this year's honor of having the most points scored against him: 45,649.

==============

Stranger in the Alps 106.25
Stanzi Loves America 122.75


Every time I see Peyton Hillis celebrate a touchdown, I'm reminded of this.


Hillis' pre-game steroid/cocaine cocktail led him to 37.50 points this week and he's now the No. 2 running back in the VUFSA behind Arian Foster. To all of the owners out there who aren't even reading this and didn't want to trade for him and are just now inquiring, go choke on your previously-offered 2017 9th-round draft pick. Hillis now costs a literal shit-ton, plus $5,000.

But alas, I'm burying the lede here. Despite SuperGod's massive arm-flexing effort, Stem won in order to stay even with Drew at the top of the league. Aaron Rodgers, who the national media loves because he has as many career playoff wins as Jay Cutler, led with the way with approximately 25 points.

Additionally, the figment of imagination named "Steve Johnson" managed to blow the game for the Bills this week (despite not even existing) and made a 15-year-old Onion headline finally come true by blaming God for the loss. It was AWESOME.

==============

Marty Booker 88.25
1-800-222-1222 84.75

Despite Baron's homoerotic, Monday-morning smack talk that spoke of "needing" a man named Frank, Ed managed to pull through when Baron's object of desire broke his hip. In doing so, Frank Gore set a world record by becoming the youngest person ever to break a hip, clearing the previous mark by 46 years, which had been held by Prazsky Sedlakjehlickakladivotnik of Garamszentkereszt, Slovakia.

Moving away from frail and crappy to manly and badass, Andre Johnson scored 12.50 points for Ed and beat the living crap out of Cortland Finnegan, which made pretty much everyone happy because Finnegan is a Grade A doucherocket and getting punched in the face is now what he'll most be remembered for in his career.

The loss put Baron back into the slums and the race for the No. 1 pick in next year's draft, which carries with it the right to draft the next Ryan Mathews.

==============

Truly Fucking Awful 91.25
Let My Monkeys Go 87.25

I'm not talking about JR's team because he doesn't read this blog and he pissed me off by talking about how he wanted to lose, which is my shtick, damn it.

Andy, meanwhile, owns Jamaal Charles, who is awesome. Despite that, he's dropped 4 straight games and has fallen completely out of contention into VUFSA Purgatory which, I can assure you, is not as great as everyone says.

Therefore, in conclusion:


THX, THO...

Week 11 Recap

"I KNOW KUNG FU"

==================

GAME OF THE WEEK!!!

Awkward Emoticons ;) (8-3): 140.50
Marty Booker (7-4): 140.25

What happened: A true thriller, going down to the wire on Monday Night, with Brandon Lloyd facing off against Philip Rivers. (DJ Williams and Randy McMichael were along for the ride as well). A late score from Lloyd gave Drew the closest win in VUFSA history.

MVP: Dwyane Bowe and his 20 points set the tone for a big game.

Least VP: Andre Johnson (3.00) came up very small, especially compared to the monster weeks from Drew's WRs.

Vince Young Says: "Me and Coach Fish are cool. He takin me to Dave and Busters tonight! Lotsa sexy waitress there he say."

What it means: Oddly, not that much. Both teams are on a collision course for the 2-3 game in the playoffs, but Drew has a better chance of chasing down the #1 seed after this.

==================

EXCITING BUT ULTIMATELY NOT VERY MEANINGFUL!!!

1-800-222-1222 (4-7): 135.50
Stranger in the Alps (4-7): 127.50

What happened: Roethlisraper (38.50) to Wallace (13.50) led the way, despite a great effort by the Peytons (31.50 for Manning and 17.00 for Hillis).

MVP: Arian Foster as always, 22 points.

Least VP: Does anyone remember back during WVUR fantasy baseball when Rhodes had Daryl Kile in his starting lineup the entire 2002 season? I get that feeling when I see Randy Moss (0.00) in Eli's lineup. Someone has to break it to him that Randy is no longer with us.

Vince Young Says: "RIP to my homey Randy Moss! Imma miss you! I gotta tell Coach Fish we need a new backup for Nate Washington."

What it means: Baron's team is so much better than we originally thought, and stunningly, has an outside chance to make the playoffs with some help. Don't laugh- he has the tiebreaker now.

==================

BLOWOUT #1!!!

Truly Fucking Awful (4-7): 133.00
Who is Ron Mexico? (5-6): 77.25

What happened: Nostalgia does Dave no good, as his team's namesake dropped 36.00 points off of last week's total and fell well short of a fired up JR team. Greg Jennnings (28.50) was jaw-droppingly good.

MVP: Jennings. Honorable Mention to Ced Benson and the Virgin QB.

Least VP: Michael Crabtree who is terrible.

Vince Young Says: "PROPS TO MY BOY MIKE VICK. He got this good from his rookie year to year two, then he gone be scary good next year. I like watchin Vick cuz it look like me but in a mirror."

What it means: Bad week for Dave's team to not show up, as he stays behind Champ in 5th. He'll never admit it, but JR absolutely relished beating his nemesis.

==================

BLOWOUT #2!!!

Stanzi Loves America (8-3): 143.50
Let My Monkeys Go (5-6): 71.75

What happened: Aaron Rodgers (37.50) and Michael Turner (19.50) were tremendous, to go along with a rare Larry Fitzgerald (13.00) sighting. Just two double digit guys for Andy.

MVP: "Steve Johnson" who had 28 points on three TD catches.

Least VP: Jahvid Best, who has good keeper potential but is a shaky week-to-week option.

Vince Young Says: "You ever see that movie "Last Boy Scout"? Why don't more teams try that? I ran that in practice two years ago and we scored easy. Coach Fish so impressed he cancel practice the next day and took us to that dude's funeral."

What it means: Stem has virtually clinched a playoff spot, three games up in the loss column with only three to play.

==================

BLOWOUT #3!!!

ChamPeons (6-5): 135.50
Cover Tooth (4-7): 91.00

What happened: Drew Brees continued the trend of QBs going fucking nuts this week, one of FOUR that went over 30 points. LeSean McCoy (20.50) and Matt Forte (16.00) were stellar. Braylon Edwards and Roddy White each hit double digits for Adam.

MVP: Marques Colston (21.00). WR has been a weak spot for Champ all year, so days like this are enormous on an already solid team.

Least VP: Darren McFadden. Notched just two points against a very tough Steeler team.

Vince Young Says: "I don't mind being on IR too bad, I figure Coach Fish just keepin me fresh for THA PLAYOFFS!"

What it means: Big win for Champ, who makes himself the clear favorite to lose to Stem in the playoffs.

==================

Week 10 Recap

"REMEMBER GUYS...NO ONE GOES 0-16 BUT US!"

==================

EPIC MONDAY NIGHT THUNDER!!!

Stanzi Loves America (7-3): 110.00
Stanton for Heisman! (5-5): 126.00

What happened: The Chiefs got their teeth kicked in, and Matt Cassel exploded for 38.25 points. Somehow that wasn't enough as Michael Vick scored 44.50 IN THE FIRST HALF giving Dave a thundering of biblical proportions, finishing with a VUFSA record 55 points. Stem's normally good RBs were pretty bad, with all three combining for 16.00 points. Maurice Jones-Drew topped that himself with a 24.00 showing.

MVP: Who the fuck do you think?

Least VP: CJ Spiller, who notched just one point and left early with an injury. Hines Ward (0.00) and Jason Witten (0.50) were also notably absent.

What it means haiku: Stem still in first place. Tomke has resurrected. Now three five-win teams.

==================

LESS INTERESTING THUNDER!!!

ChamPeons (5-5): 104.00
Suhssical (3-7): 96.50

What happened: Jay Cutler (23.50) did just enough to counter Matt Ryan's (32.00) huge Thursday. LeSean McCoy's early Monday touchdown pushed Champ ahead in the game and back into playoff position. Legadu Blount (15.50) led a very balanced effort for Brent.

MVP: Matt Ryan. Just think of how good he'll be after he loses his virginity.

Least VP: I'm starting to hate this category. Joel Dreesen (-0.50) I guess? Reggie Wayne's 2.50 probably hurts more when you weigh in expectations.

What it means haiku: Champ back in playoffs. JR continues rebuild. Poor guy, Joel Dreessen.

==================

MANNING VS. BRADY!!!

Awkward Emoticons (7-3): 130.25
Stranger in the Alps (4-6): 88.50

What happened: Peyton Manning would have had more opportunities to score had he been playing on the Colts defense against Carson Palmer. As is, he was completely outshone by Tom Brady (38.25 to 8.00) and that pretty much decided things. Brandon Lloyd (19.00) and Dez Bryant (12.50) cover for the very mediocre RB output for Drew. Dwayne Bowe and Randy Moss combined for 29 points for Eli, Bowe accounting for 27.50 of them.

MVP: Brady. HEY HAVE YOU GUYS NOTICED HE HAS LONG HAIR THIS YEAR?

Least VP: Kathy Brockdorf. Because I saw her exact look-alike at a gay bar I was at on Friday.

What it means haiku: Very good score Drew. Loses slight edge in tiebreak. Eli glad to lose?

==================

MOST TOTAL POINTS!!!

Marty Booker (7-3): 168.50
Cover Tooth (4-6): 106.00

What happened: Schillinger had a very good week all around, putting up the highest total in the league so far. Chris and Andre Johnson scored 17.50 each, and that tied them for 5th highest score in the Marty Booker lineup. Roddy White (24.00) and Knowshon Moreno (19.50) had outstanding games for Cover Tooth.

MVP: The Jaguar Hail Mary. With zero seconds on the clock, Schillinger got a double touchdown by way of the 50-yard miracle completion from David Garrard (27.00) to Mike Thomas (18.00).

Least VP: Kevin Burnett, some asshole defender who couldn't even be bothered to play this week. Also probably Kyle Orton and his 34.50 bench points.

What it means haiku: Tough week for Adam. Super high score for Edwin. Sure I'll suck next week.

==================

NO SUCKAGE THIS WEEK!!!

1-800-222-1222 (3-7): 159.00
Let My Monkeys Go (5-5): 96.50

What happened: Baron got a handful of double digit performances before the Roethlisberger (30.50) to Mike Wallace (22.50) explosion on Sunday Night. That propelled him to the 2nd highest VUFSA tally this season. Jamaal Charles (16.50) and Eli Manning (22.50) led the way for Andy. WAIT HOLY SHIT BARON IS FOURTH IN TOTAL POINTS NOW?

MVP: Jared Allen, who registered his fifth sack of the season and is now on pace for almost ten!

Least VP: Who cares. Whoever had the fewest points. Tony Moeaki and Jordan Shipley can flip a coin, they each had less than two.

What it means haiku: Andy falls to sixth. Baron stuck in the cellar? Not so fast my friend!

==================

Biggest Busts of 2010

Bad luck? Bad draft? Bad talent evaluation? Whatever the case, the VUFSA always has its share of busts. Here are the worst ones thus far per Yahoo's "expert" rankings.

Reggie Bush (Stanton for Heisman!)
Preseason Ranking: 61
Current Ranking: 2206
Difference: -2145

Shitton!

Pierre Thomas (Suhssical)
Preseason Ranking: 21
Current Ranking: 220
Difference: -199

Oh when the Saints! Suck real bad! Oh when the Saints suck real bad! Oh how I want to re-draft! When the Saints suck real bad!

Beanie Wells (Stranger in the Alps)
Preseason Ranking: 27
Current Ranking: 197
Difference: -170

Tim Hightower just shouldn't be a better option on any team, real life or fantasy.

Jonathan Stewart (Suhssical)
Preseason Ranking: 32
Current Ranking: 201
Difference: -169

Has lost as many fumbles as touchdowns scored.

Steve Smith - Carolina (ChamPeons)
Preseason Ranking: 34
Current Ranking: 194
Difference: -160

Just for fun, let's look at Matt Moore and Jimmy Clausen's TD to INT ratio: 6 TD 14 INT. Ick.

Marion Barber (Stranger in the Alps)
Preseason Ranking: 51
Current Ranking: 204
Difference: -153

So they put the offensive "guru" in charge of the Cowboys. Can't be any worse, I suppose.

Pierre Garcon (Let My Monkeys Go)
Preseason Ranking: 65
Current Ranking: 210
Difference: -145

Austin Collie is barely conscious, Dallas Clark and Anthony Gonzalez are lost to injury, and yet Pierre just can't seem to recapture last season's magic with but one 100 yard receiving game this year.

Shonn Greene (Suhssical)
Preseason Ranking: 9
Current Ranking: 146
Difference: -137

One guy who isn't all smiles about LT's comeback this season. Two if you count JR.

DeAngelo Williams (ChamPeons)
Preseason Ranking: 12
Current Ranking: 149
Difference: -137

The third and final member of the Carolina disaster on this list.

Ryan Mathews (Let My Monkeys Go)
Preseason Ranking: 8
Current Ranking: 127
Difference: -119

#1 overall is on his way to joining VUFSA's Nate Burleson in NFL's Ryan Leaf territory.

Felix Jones (Stranger in the Alps)
Preseason Ranking: 48
Current Ranking: 153
Difference: -105

See Marion Barber above.