As much as it pains me to knock Jean-Cladue Van Damme (and yes I realize he'll probably dance over to Blaine, Minnesota and kick my ass), I had to comment on what will be an epic game tonight. Sure there's that whole Hurricane Katrina aspect to it, but what ESPN, CNN, and Deadspin should all be following are the storylines concerning the VUFSA.
Naj Davenport's Poop: 112.75
The Slumpbusters: 107.50
Michael Vick needs to overcome Jerious Norwood and 5.25 points for The Gun.
Cellar Dwellers: 95.75
Who Is Ron Mexico?: 85.00
Reggie Bush needs 10.75 to tie and anything greater than to knock off Stem.
Father Abraham: 81.75
Madd Skillz: 79.00
Joe Horn needs 2.75 for Edwin to survive his baddest bye.
The Nihilist's Marmot: 92.75
Tice's Partyboat: 60.25
Drew Brees, Warrick Dunn, Alge Crumpler, and Michael Jenkins need to overcome a 32.5 defecit to keep the partyboat from sinking.
Some damn good games coming to a close tonight. Please comment.
18 comments:
aw hell naw.
i'm ready to mamba my way to Minny and bust up your countenance.
Did Van Damme just go from ghetto-speak to Shakespeare?
Certainly not the direction of comments I had intended for.
Oh, but this is sort of fun. From Rotoworld:
A scoring change in New England's game has taken away a 12-yard catch from Ben Watson. The catch is now credited to Daniel Graham.
Watson now finishes with five catches for 54 yards, so don't lose it if your league takes a point away from your team. Watson also dropped two passes in the fourth quarter that could have padded his numbers.
That drops me 1.50 points. If tonight is a close matchup, remember the Betrand Berry debacle from last year against Viano. As if we'd ever forget.
As an answer to Ed's question at the bottom of the last post:
I'm the most confident owner in the league because I am pretty much awesome. And I have literally no shot at the playoffs, so I'm cool with whatever happens.
Here is why JR Hates You.
His top running backs (Tiki Barber and Cadillac Williams) are on bye next week. His quarterback (Kurt Warner) has gone from penthouse to outhouse faster than Rafael Palmeiro. His top receiving options (Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne) are having the ball thrown to them by the quarterback of JR's Week Five opponent.
JR hates very much.
As was the case with the hurricane itself, I am cheering greatly for lots of non-action in tonight's game.
Is this the FIRST game at the Superdome since Katrina?
Doesn't anyone else think that NFL games are super, super long?
Alge Crumpler, you turd.
Also, most of the people affected by Katrina were black.
But every time the camera scans the crowd, it looks like a Michael Bolton concert. Seriously, it's like 95 percent white in there tonight.
Good to know those who really suffered are those who are able to enjoy this football game tonight.
/political rant
Wait, MICHAEL FUCKING BOLTON IS PERFORMING?
Do you know what I love? Dropped footballs, defense, and all those poor, poor affluent white people.
Drew Brees does not get points for that block he just threw, and it's actually too bad.
Two things:
1. Did I really just see Jon Lovitz and Reggie Bush in the same commercial?
2. Alge Crumpler is a big fat turd. He's dropped three passes already from Vick, including a TD. Fat. Turd.
I know. I know. I need Alge to start catching the damn ball too.
-Drew
After Becky asked me why I was laughing, I read her some of the Michael Bolton exchange. She in reply said that "well, all the black people are on the field." Ha!
-Drew
Reggie Bush is fast.
2 questions as I jump into the thread:
-Is Stem's season over with 1 more reggie bush point?
-Will Baron lose from here on out?
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