For every bad there is a good, and so this week brings us the top 10 surprises of the early 2005 football season. I wish I had four guys on this list too but something tells me I won't. Probably because I've rigged the list. I hate you.
10. Joey Galloway (Big Fat Guys, 47.00) Three touchdown catches while Michael Clayton is getting virtually no play? Good news for the Fat Guys, who have scrounged together a perfectly respectable team with several has-beens and never-weres having good years. I would make some absurd, far-reaching guarantees about my success over him next week, but I'll be honest. I'm not confident enough.
9. Eli Manning (Who is Ron Mexico?, 83.50 points) We all knew the learning curve would eventually come around for the Giants gunslinger, but nobody thought it would be this soon. I maintain that Manning could be one of the best pickups of the year when the expansion franchise went for it a couple weeks ago.
8. Keenan McCardell (Blaine Browns, 51.50) Drew Brees hasn't quite let down Drew Wolf's franchise as anticipated, and McCardell has become a primary target along with top-flight tight end Antonio Gates. Only 19 catches for McCardell, but five for touchdowns, which makes him a valuable asset, especially with Brees being owned by the same franchise. The Chargers have sexy blue uniforms.
7. LJ Smith (The Octagon, 35.50) He has emerged as one of the best fantasy tight end options in the league, though he's spent a lot of time on The Octagon's bench while Tony Gonzalez bitches about pass interference calls while passes fell unharmed. He's become a highly valued option in the Philly offense.
6. Robert Mathis (Sex Panther, 37.00) The highest-rated defender in football is a freak, with six sacks, three forced fumbles and an intensity that's going to make him this year's Dwight Freeney. To everyone's shock, Indy has two of the top three defenders in fantasy sports right now.
5. Larry Fitzgerald (Cellar Dwellars, 61.00) He was a warmly-regarded prospect before the season but I'm not sure anyone could have had enough faith in the Cardinals offense to see him being among the elite among NFL receivers. Fitz has been a major, major reason why Andrew Stem's team is an inexplicable 5-0. Another reason is his selling his own soul and the souls of others to Beelzibub.
4. Terry Glenn (Big Fat Guys, 53.50) Part of a revamped Cowboys offense, Glenn has ressucitated his career by trying sometimes and catching three touchdows and going over 500 yards receiving in the season's early going. He's one of those guys that falls entirely through the cracks on an average draft day, then makes one of the most solid second or third receivers in the league.
3. Willie Parker (Fred Lane's Wife, 49.50) The re-emergence of Jerome Bettis and bizarre concerns over his skinniness has put Parker's status in limbo, but Andy Viano made one of the most shrewd waiver wire pickups before the season when it became apparent Parker would start. Too bad Viano's team has been decimated by injuries, and Parker's fall will only complicate matters.
2. Thomas Jones (Big Fat Guys, 68.50) It seems like Jones is on a new team each week in the VUFSA despite solid production week-in, week-out. Of course, recent injury concerns and the reality that he will eventually give way to Cedric Benson hinders his value. I just wish he would hurry up and die so Benson could enter the fray.
1. Drew Bledsoe (ChamPeons, 106.50 points) Naturally, the player with the fourth most points in the VUFSA is a quarterback who stopped being relevant years ago. The Cowboys have thrown together a patchwork receiving corps featuring the most exciting fantasy receivers in 2001, Keyshawn Johnson, Terry Glenn and sometimes Peerless Price, who was never really exciting. Too bad Champ has only used Bledsoe part-time.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
VUFSA: Week Five
Hey gang!
It appears that Eli has drowned in a sea of Elkhartedness and may not be coming out of it anytime soon. He managed to contact me briefly via cell phone, saying only something about his dog, some skirt at the tennis club and his fantasy football recap.
And being the good pal that I am, I’m going to take care of all three of them.
On to your week five matchups:
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Sex Panther: 153.50 points
The Octagon: 92.75 points
Game summary: Sex Panther burst out to a quick lead in this one, seeking some measure of revenge for last year’s Week 14 collapse over his jovial rival JR Radcliffe. In the battle of Anchorman-related names, Sex Panther was clearly superior for this week, especially with The Octagon having a few key players on bye week. The two teams now stand with identical 2-3 records despite SP having 123 more points on the year.
Sex Panther (2-3): All but two position players hit double digits, as did one defensive player (Robert Mathis, 12.50 points). Got a big half from Najeh Davenport (17.50 points) and another dynamic game from VUFSA Blog-derided Steven Jackson (19 points). Let me tell you, no player in the NFL has a better hip wiggle than Steven Jackson. There’s a rear camera shot of him bursting through the Seahawks line and shimmying his way up the middle as those freaky dreads bounce beneath his helmet. It’s looped on my computer right now …. and I am in heaven. But anyway, Sex Panther now readies itself for a Week 6 showdown with another 2-3 team in ChamPeons.
The Octagon (2-3): It’s always a bad sign when your second leading scorer is a defensive player, even if it is Jason Taylor and his 12 points. Outside of Brett Favre going nuts against the Saints, there were good number of just mediocre efforts. Andre Johnson continues to be a scoreless bust, and Marvin Harrison was only thrown to three times on Sunday. Despite all of this, 92.75 points isn’t awful, and we even had a Kevan Barlow sighting as the running back busted out (for him) with 11.50 points. At 2-3, The Octagon still shapes up to be in the playoff hunt for most of the year.
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Blaine Browns: 102 points
Big Fat Guys: 97.50 points
Game summary: Well, that was kinda fun. The only remotely interesting matchup of Week 5 actually came down to the final quarter of Monday Night Football. With stuuuudly linebacker Donnie Edwards racking up tackles and BB’s Keenan McCardell just wandering aimlessly on the field, things stayed closer much longer than expected. But in the end, BB ended up nabbing his second win of the season to join the 2-3 fray. BFG put up another good showing, despite what appears to be a thin roster. But as that one Portugese “woman” taught me, looks can be awfully deceiving.
Blaine Browns (2-3): Another very solid week from patient Drew, who has seen his team climb right back into the thick of the playoff race after a miserable start to the season. Got nice performances from most players, led by 17 points apiece from Edgerrin James and Curtis Martin. With Martin finally starting to find the end zone, the team could be poised to go on a tear. Things are looking up for BB.
Big Fat Guys (1-4): Carson Palmer continued to put up nice numbers, though his loudmouth target Chad Johnson was busted up a handful of hilarious times by the Jags’ defense. Terry Glenn is funny-looking, but he sure can run. The QB and WR positions are locked down for this franchise at the moment, but the owner’s thin running back core took a blow when Thomas Jones injured his knee and will likely miss Week 6. However, BFG has blown open the race for superiority among expansion teams, having score 100 points more than Who is Ron Mexico?
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Madd Skillz: 150.25 points
ChamPeons: 62.25 points
Game summary: Yet another game that wasn’t close, as Madd Skillz moves to 5-0 with another pummeling of an opponent. ChamPeons never got going in this one, finishing with a brutal 62.25 points on the day, not nearly enough to challenged Skillz. In fact, this matchup sucked so bad, I’m not talking about it anymore.
Madd Skillz (5-0): Okay, maybe just a bit more. Skillz, who somehow still worries about his team that averages over 126 points a week, racks up another sadistic performance. Next time you feel like doing that, make sure I’m on the receiving end, OK? I love that stuff. Anyway, his lowest point output from a position player was Rudi Johnson’s 8.00 points and six other players were in double figures. This is without question the best and deepest team in the league right now, as every starter is a threat to bust off 20 points on any given week, and some of them are a threat for 40 points. Scary.
ChamPeons (2-3): Champ was a victim of a bit of overthinking this week, picking up Aaron Brooks for a matchup against the Packers. While the red-hot Drew Bledsoe sat on the bench and scored 30 points, Aaron Brooks was … well, he was Aaron Brooks while scoring 1.25 points. It wouldn’t have made a difference in this week’s matchup though.
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Cellar Dwellers: 114.50
Father Abraham: 75.25
Game summary: Those Arizona receivers are something else. The duo squared off in this one, with CD’s Larry Fitzgerald scoring 16.50 points and FA’s Anquan Boldin dropping 15 points. However, among the teams, Cellar Dwellers (oh, the irony) remains undefeated with a big win over up-and-down Father Abraham. Cellar Dwellers is headed for a big-time showdown in Week 8 with Madd Skillz, and FA is still just one of three teams with a winning record.
Cellar Dwellers (5-0): Shaun Alexander (24.50 points) just keeps putting up big numbers for this franchise, as does Fitzgerald . Stem has to be pleased that Kevin Jones finally broke out, much less against the Baltimore defense. This team is very talented, but also very thin – Marshall Faulk is CD’s only running back insurance, and he didn’t touch the football on Sunday. It’s a fine line to be walking, but with good health, CD is a lock to grab the owner his first playoff spot in four tries.
Father Abraham (3-2): The Smack Talk says it all, with this bunch living and dying by Donovan McNabb. I’m not sure what happened Sunday against Julius Jones and his silver-trousered Cowboys, but the Eagles looked abysmal. Missing Priest Holmes this week hurt, but the early bye week may help him to get over some nagging injuries. And with Jamal Lewis (18 points) apparently recovered from prison (they don’t feed you well there; Deidre has lost 47 pounds), the running back group is very, very good. Despite the loss, Father Abraham is still in very good shape.
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Fred Lane’s Wife: 69.25 points
Who is Ron Mexico: 42 points
Game summary: This matchup has set fantasy football, and society, back 15 years. Oh my God.
Fred Lane’s Wife (2-3): Since I have nothing to say about either of these teams, I just figured you all would want to actually see the namesake of this franchise, and the woman that take a few lumps of Clay every third Saturday of the month:
Mmhmm.
Who is Ron Mexico? (1-4): I don’t know, who the fuck IS Ron Mexico? Can he score more than 42 points? Jesus H. Christ. There have been two players this year who individually surpassed WIRM’s output in just one week, and if you combine the Dave/Champ/Kenny household scoring totals for Week 5, they would still finish behind three teams, and barely ahead of a fourth.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Open Thread: Week 5
Stolen from various other web sites...let's use the comments portion to give live thoughts as the day in Sunday football goes along. Certainly, this idea will suck, but let's try.
The movie "Flightplan" is good for rental, but don't slap down nine bucks to see it now.
Topics: who's playing well. who's looking good matchup-wise. how many points Eli figures to ass-rape JR this week in a completely lopsided matchup. Will the expansion teams ever win another game against someone other than themselves? Who's got the early lead? Which players make you want to vomit? Who's suddenly on the trading block? Whose avatar is hottest? Who remains on Tomke's Piss Off To-Do List? Who would you rather keep...Brandon Lloyd or Brandon Lloyd's Mother?
This is going to end up being just me, isn't it? Comment after comment, with only me posting, and only me reading? Well screw all y'all.
The movie "Flightplan" is good for rental, but don't slap down nine bucks to see it now.
Topics: who's playing well. who's looking good matchup-wise. how many points Eli figures to ass-rape JR this week in a completely lopsided matchup. Will the expansion teams ever win another game against someone other than themselves? Who's got the early lead? Which players make you want to vomit? Who's suddenly on the trading block? Whose avatar is hottest? Who remains on Tomke's Piss Off To-Do List? Who would you rather keep...Brandon Lloyd or Brandon Lloyd's Mother?
This is going to end up being just me, isn't it? Comment after comment, with only me posting, and only me reading? Well screw all y'all.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Week 5 Preview
This week doesn't exactly have the drama of weeks past, but it has the potential to really liven up the playoff race with the three 1-3 teams playing as heavy favorites.
Game of the Week
Father Abraham (-5) vs. Cellar Dwellars
Two teams with a combined one loss do battle, with the possibility of the winner moving into first place...Matchup features last year's #7 and #8 franchises...Teams have won a combined 7 games in a row...Despite two powerful clubs going at it, neither is projected to go over 100 points...Stem and Lincoln split their season series in 2004
News and Notes, FA
If it's respect they want, this is where they earn it- wins over the top two teams in the league in the coming weeks will no doubt give this team what they desire...Despite being favored in the projections, will struggle while missing Priest Holmes on a bye week, because there is no no one on the roster to fill in for him...Got great news last week when Jamal Lewis ran for 81 yards and a touchdown...Re-read that last sentence and ponder how absurd it is that they are 3-1 despite that being 'great news'...Stephen Davis was seen as a risky pick on draft day, but is now the envy of everyone who passed him up in round2 (and some in round1)...Charles Rogers' recent suspension will not hurt badly, as FA has 5 capable WRs on the roster...Joe Horn's health is a question- cannot have a vacant starting spot again this week...Team will go as Donovan McNabb goes- If McNabb gets hurt, this season could unravel quickly for FA...KPOBW: Priest Holmes
News and Notes, CD
This team has been favored in just one game all year, their week 1 tilt with BFG...Has this team hit their high point? Point totals rose consistently from week 1 through week 4, but can you really expect a step up from 140? We'll see...Finally won his game of QB Roulette last week, and will ride Snake v2 (Delhomme) again this week...The Gun called Shaun Alexander and LaMont Jordan the best 1-2 back tandem in the league; and while that's statistically not true, you'd be hard pressed to find two men producing at a steadier, better pace on one roster...If Kevin Jones keeps going like he did last week (into the end zone), there will be no debate as to who the best 1-2-3 combo is...Can someone explain Plaxico Burress to me? I mean, will he do this every week? It's amazing what a change of scenery does for some guys...Shaun McDonald is an interesting one-week fill-in...KPOBW: LaMont Jordan, Jerry Porter, Plaxico Burress
Prediction: First look was in favor of CD, because Priest Holmes missing with nothing to replace him is rough. However, upon further review, Jordan, Porter and Burress make an enormous hole to fill, one that Stem's bench cannot fill. FA wins it, moves up again.
The 2 Spot
Madd Skillz (-38) vs. Champeons
It's games like this that make me want to stop using point spreads. Most of the time, they're useful- but when they're off, they're way off...Neither team was impressive last week, CHM even less so...this game holds very different meanings for both clubs, as SKL has heat on their slim lead at the top, and wants to get a lead built before the gaggle of skilled 1-3 clubs get going...CHM also wants to stay ahead of the rush of the scary 1-3s, and needs to make sure that last week was a mistake...Schillinger and Whitlock are 1-1 lifetime against one another, with the last round going to Schill 160.00-118.50
News and Notes, SKL
Back on Matt Hasselbeck this week, as the QB questions keep coming...Got better than expected performances from Domanick Davis and Santana Moss last week, but went the other way on far bigger players, Chad Johnson, Rudi Johnson, Steve Smith and Fred Taylor...Worst week to date last week makes this a rebound game...LaDanian Tomlinson is what is driving this team, and if he goes down, playing for the #1 seed would be almost impossible...Jeremy Shockey has turned out much better than was expected...Made a minor deal with SP, acquiring some WR insurance in Antonio Bryant for the recently picked up Najeh Davenport...KPOBW: Jeremy Shockey
News and Notes, CHM
Continues to be an up and down team, with two convincing wins and two losses where their point total was very weak...made the biggest move of the week, acquiring Daunte Culpepper (and his upside) along with Mewelde Moore for Clinton Portis and Frank Gore...This move sets forth an interesting chain of events; after this week, when Culpepper and Kerry Collins are past their byes, CHM has 3 competent QBs, and could look to move one of them to a QB needy team (there are 5 teams in the league that could use one of them in some role)...Will have Drew Bledsoe in the QB spot this week, probably the least desirable of their three...Chris Brown's supposed break out (with Travis Henry out) was delayed last week...Julius Jones has yet to get going, but he has to at some point, right?...CHM is the only team with a starter projected to score less than 0 points...WR depth is needed this week...KPOBW: Randy Moss, Daunte Culpepper, Kerry Collins, Mewelde Moore
Game #3
Sex Panther (-16) vs. The Octagon
It's worth noting that the matchups here in week 5 will also be the matchups in week 14, the last week of the regular season; there's a bit of week 14 history between these two clubs from what I understand...It can be called a grudge match game, sure- but neither of these bitter rivals are looking to the past to find importance in this matchup...JR and Gun split last year's series, with JR winning the most recent game 118.75-118.25, the smallest margin in VUFSA history
News and Notes, SP
Continues to move big names around at will, this week Daunte Culpepper moves out and Clinton Portis moves in, giving SP 4 stud caliber backs in the starting lineup this week...Marc Bulger (who came at a cost of Thomas Jones) moves into the starting lineup, giving this club three Rams once again...Third trade this week was minor, detailed in SKL notes...Cadillac Williams is banged up, but Willis MaGahee will have a semi-competent QB in front of him this week, so could make up for some points should Caddy not run right...With Indy playing the Niners this week, Reggie Wayne will have to step up and make sure he can offset the production of Marvin Harrison (OCT)...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, OCT
Let down by Trent Green and Tony Gonzalez again last week, will see what life is like without them on their bye this week...Brett Farve steps into the starting lineup and is just as much of an unkown week-to-week as Bulger is...Hines Ward is questionable this week, but his absence can be covered up if Antwaan Randle El has a big game...has two talented rookie backs on the bench, but will they contribute early enough to keep OCT in the race...LJ Smith is finally in the starting lineup, so his hot streak should come to a close...Has the worst bye weeks this week, narrowly edging out CD...KPOBW: Trent Green, Tiki Barber, Tony Gonzalez
Prediction: Way too much missing in the starting linuep for OCT, but even without those losses, SP has a better team. SP picks up win #2 and moves even with OCT in the standings.
Batting Cleanup
Fred Lane's Wife (-25) vs. Who is Ron Mexico?
Before reading this, you have to stop and think "wait, these two teams have the same record?"...Last year's regular season champ has stumbled out of the gate and won't have a matchup this favorable again until week 9...On the other hand, no matchup is favorable for WIRM, so nothing really changes for them...Both teams were thundered in heartbreaking fashion last week, and thus harbor a similar hatred towards Antonio Chatman...First meeting between the two franchises
News and Notes, FLW
Despite a huge week for Peyton Manning last week, missed the presence of youngsters Willie Parker and Ronnie Brown in the linuep, and it cost them...Darrell Jackson's doubtfulness could be crippling for a team already thin at receiver; Greg Lewis and Kevin Curtis step into the starting lineup as all-or-nothing guys, which sucks hard considering they're replacing two keepers...Willie Parker will finally have two healthy backups, both established runners- will his carries (notably, goal line) get cut?...Will need more than just the consistency of Corey Dillon and Deuce McAllister for a while, will need them to be spectacular on occasion...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, WIRM
Picked up another starting runner this week, acquiring Mike Anderson (plus Brandon Lloyd) for DeShaun Foster and Lee Suggs...Ahman Green's health is a question, which is bad news for a guy who wasn't that good to begin with this season...It's only a matter of time before Eli Manning starts over Michael Vick...Brandon Stokley is still stuck in neutral, but can play a big factor for this team when he breaks out- and now would be a good time considering he can steal some of Peyton's thunder...TJ Duckett is averaging a TD a week, which is perfect for a Flex back...Michael Clayton's health is a question...KPOBW: Eli Manning, Travis Taylor and Troy Williamson
Prediction: At full strength at the RB spot, FLW is set to snap a three game losing streak.
The 5 Hole
Big Fat Guys vs. Blaine Browns (-42)
Before reading this, you have to stop and think "wait, these two teams have the same record?"...Both teams are on their first winning streak of the year, and the good news is that one of the previously despondent owners will continue that streak...This spot usually has the most boring matchup, and thus, the least italicized print...First meeting between these two franchises
News and notes, BFG
Active in trades again this week, and made another head scratcher...It's clear that this team wanted Carson Palmer to be their Franchise Player, and gave up a lot to get him despite having a potential franchise QB; fair enough. This week, the expendable Marc Bulger was turned into Thomas Jones. Jones has been good this season, but has zero keeper value with Cedric Benson in the wings, and in fact, probably won't be as effective later in the season. We've always said Kenny and Dave are the expansion team that wants to win now the most, but Baron is in it for the now as well, unfortunately at the expense of his future...And at the expense of the present as well, after trading two solid starters (Anderson and Lloyd) for two backups...Just one starter projected to go over 10 points this week...will continue to rely on the unexpected excellence of their WR corps, plus giving Antonio Chatman another spin...KPOBW: Define "key"...POBW: Nate Burleson, Brendan Jacobs
News and Notes, BB
Last week had to be a giant relief for owner Drew Wolf, but don't expect him to be content with one win; he knows he should have many more...WRs are coming together nicely, but the injury status of TJ Houshmandzadeh is concerning...Warrick Dunn is turning out to be a very good first round pick, despite losing goal line touches to TJ Duckett...Has some Monday Night Thunder, but probably won't need it...Probably won't need "3pm games Thunder" either...Will probably need some added depth to the running game in case Ruben Droughns gets cut out of the real life Browns attack, but RB1-3 is still very solid, despite Curtis Martin's struggles...KPOBW: Eddie Kennison
Prediction: The number of one win teams in the league will be cut by 60% as BB knocks off BFG to set the stage for an interesting race between the soon to be 2-3 SP, FLW, OCT and BB.
Game of the Week
Father Abraham (-5) vs. Cellar Dwellars
Two teams with a combined one loss do battle, with the possibility of the winner moving into first place...Matchup features last year's #7 and #8 franchises...Teams have won a combined 7 games in a row...Despite two powerful clubs going at it, neither is projected to go over 100 points...Stem and Lincoln split their season series in 2004
News and Notes, FA
If it's respect they want, this is where they earn it- wins over the top two teams in the league in the coming weeks will no doubt give this team what they desire...Despite being favored in the projections, will struggle while missing Priest Holmes on a bye week, because there is no no one on the roster to fill in for him...Got great news last week when Jamal Lewis ran for 81 yards and a touchdown...Re-read that last sentence and ponder how absurd it is that they are 3-1 despite that being 'great news'...Stephen Davis was seen as a risky pick on draft day, but is now the envy of everyone who passed him up in round2 (and some in round1)...Charles Rogers' recent suspension will not hurt badly, as FA has 5 capable WRs on the roster...Joe Horn's health is a question- cannot have a vacant starting spot again this week...Team will go as Donovan McNabb goes- If McNabb gets hurt, this season could unravel quickly for FA...KPOBW: Priest Holmes
News and Notes, CD
This team has been favored in just one game all year, their week 1 tilt with BFG...Has this team hit their high point? Point totals rose consistently from week 1 through week 4, but can you really expect a step up from 140? We'll see...Finally won his game of QB Roulette last week, and will ride Snake v2 (Delhomme) again this week...The Gun called Shaun Alexander and LaMont Jordan the best 1-2 back tandem in the league; and while that's statistically not true, you'd be hard pressed to find two men producing at a steadier, better pace on one roster...If Kevin Jones keeps going like he did last week (into the end zone), there will be no debate as to who the best 1-2-3 combo is...Can someone explain Plaxico Burress to me? I mean, will he do this every week? It's amazing what a change of scenery does for some guys...Shaun McDonald is an interesting one-week fill-in...KPOBW: LaMont Jordan, Jerry Porter, Plaxico Burress
Prediction: First look was in favor of CD, because Priest Holmes missing with nothing to replace him is rough. However, upon further review, Jordan, Porter and Burress make an enormous hole to fill, one that Stem's bench cannot fill. FA wins it, moves up again.
The 2 Spot
Madd Skillz (-38) vs. Champeons
It's games like this that make me want to stop using point spreads. Most of the time, they're useful- but when they're off, they're way off...Neither team was impressive last week, CHM even less so...this game holds very different meanings for both clubs, as SKL has heat on their slim lead at the top, and wants to get a lead built before the gaggle of skilled 1-3 clubs get going...CHM also wants to stay ahead of the rush of the scary 1-3s, and needs to make sure that last week was a mistake...Schillinger and Whitlock are 1-1 lifetime against one another, with the last round going to Schill 160.00-118.50
News and Notes, SKL
Back on Matt Hasselbeck this week, as the QB questions keep coming...Got better than expected performances from Domanick Davis and Santana Moss last week, but went the other way on far bigger players, Chad Johnson, Rudi Johnson, Steve Smith and Fred Taylor...Worst week to date last week makes this a rebound game...LaDanian Tomlinson is what is driving this team, and if he goes down, playing for the #1 seed would be almost impossible...Jeremy Shockey has turned out much better than was expected...Made a minor deal with SP, acquiring some WR insurance in Antonio Bryant for the recently picked up Najeh Davenport...KPOBW: Jeremy Shockey
News and Notes, CHM
Continues to be an up and down team, with two convincing wins and two losses where their point total was very weak...made the biggest move of the week, acquiring Daunte Culpepper (and his upside) along with Mewelde Moore for Clinton Portis and Frank Gore...This move sets forth an interesting chain of events; after this week, when Culpepper and Kerry Collins are past their byes, CHM has 3 competent QBs, and could look to move one of them to a QB needy team (there are 5 teams in the league that could use one of them in some role)...Will have Drew Bledsoe in the QB spot this week, probably the least desirable of their three...Chris Brown's supposed break out (with Travis Henry out) was delayed last week...Julius Jones has yet to get going, but he has to at some point, right?...CHM is the only team with a starter projected to score less than 0 points...WR depth is needed this week...KPOBW: Randy Moss, Daunte Culpepper, Kerry Collins, Mewelde Moore
Game #3
Sex Panther (-16) vs. The Octagon
It's worth noting that the matchups here in week 5 will also be the matchups in week 14, the last week of the regular season; there's a bit of week 14 history between these two clubs from what I understand...It can be called a grudge match game, sure- but neither of these bitter rivals are looking to the past to find importance in this matchup...JR and Gun split last year's series, with JR winning the most recent game 118.75-118.25, the smallest margin in VUFSA history
News and Notes, SP
Continues to move big names around at will, this week Daunte Culpepper moves out and Clinton Portis moves in, giving SP 4 stud caliber backs in the starting lineup this week...Marc Bulger (who came at a cost of Thomas Jones) moves into the starting lineup, giving this club three Rams once again...Third trade this week was minor, detailed in SKL notes...Cadillac Williams is banged up, but Willis MaGahee will have a semi-competent QB in front of him this week, so could make up for some points should Caddy not run right...With Indy playing the Niners this week, Reggie Wayne will have to step up and make sure he can offset the production of Marvin Harrison (OCT)...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, OCT
Let down by Trent Green and Tony Gonzalez again last week, will see what life is like without them on their bye this week...Brett Farve steps into the starting lineup and is just as much of an unkown week-to-week as Bulger is...Hines Ward is questionable this week, but his absence can be covered up if Antwaan Randle El has a big game...has two talented rookie backs on the bench, but will they contribute early enough to keep OCT in the race...LJ Smith is finally in the starting lineup, so his hot streak should come to a close...Has the worst bye weeks this week, narrowly edging out CD...KPOBW: Trent Green, Tiki Barber, Tony Gonzalez
Prediction: Way too much missing in the starting linuep for OCT, but even without those losses, SP has a better team. SP picks up win #2 and moves even with OCT in the standings.
Batting Cleanup
Fred Lane's Wife (-25) vs. Who is Ron Mexico?
Before reading this, you have to stop and think "wait, these two teams have the same record?"...Last year's regular season champ has stumbled out of the gate and won't have a matchup this favorable again until week 9...On the other hand, no matchup is favorable for WIRM, so nothing really changes for them...Both teams were thundered in heartbreaking fashion last week, and thus harbor a similar hatred towards Antonio Chatman...First meeting between the two franchises
News and Notes, FLW
Despite a huge week for Peyton Manning last week, missed the presence of youngsters Willie Parker and Ronnie Brown in the linuep, and it cost them...Darrell Jackson's doubtfulness could be crippling for a team already thin at receiver; Greg Lewis and Kevin Curtis step into the starting lineup as all-or-nothing guys, which sucks hard considering they're replacing two keepers...Willie Parker will finally have two healthy backups, both established runners- will his carries (notably, goal line) get cut?...Will need more than just the consistency of Corey Dillon and Deuce McAllister for a while, will need them to be spectacular on occasion...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, WIRM
Picked up another starting runner this week, acquiring Mike Anderson (plus Brandon Lloyd) for DeShaun Foster and Lee Suggs...Ahman Green's health is a question, which is bad news for a guy who wasn't that good to begin with this season...It's only a matter of time before Eli Manning starts over Michael Vick...Brandon Stokley is still stuck in neutral, but can play a big factor for this team when he breaks out- and now would be a good time considering he can steal some of Peyton's thunder...TJ Duckett is averaging a TD a week, which is perfect for a Flex back...Michael Clayton's health is a question...KPOBW: Eli Manning, Travis Taylor and Troy Williamson
Prediction: At full strength at the RB spot, FLW is set to snap a three game losing streak.
The 5 Hole
Big Fat Guys vs. Blaine Browns (-42)
Before reading this, you have to stop and think "wait, these two teams have the same record?"...Both teams are on their first winning streak of the year, and the good news is that one of the previously despondent owners will continue that streak...This spot usually has the most boring matchup, and thus, the least italicized print...First meeting between these two franchises
News and notes, BFG
Active in trades again this week, and made another head scratcher...It's clear that this team wanted Carson Palmer to be their Franchise Player, and gave up a lot to get him despite having a potential franchise QB; fair enough. This week, the expendable Marc Bulger was turned into Thomas Jones. Jones has been good this season, but has zero keeper value with Cedric Benson in the wings, and in fact, probably won't be as effective later in the season. We've always said Kenny and Dave are the expansion team that wants to win now the most, but Baron is in it for the now as well, unfortunately at the expense of his future...And at the expense of the present as well, after trading two solid starters (Anderson and Lloyd) for two backups...Just one starter projected to go over 10 points this week...will continue to rely on the unexpected excellence of their WR corps, plus giving Antonio Chatman another spin...KPOBW: Define "key"...POBW: Nate Burleson, Brendan Jacobs
News and Notes, BB
Last week had to be a giant relief for owner Drew Wolf, but don't expect him to be content with one win; he knows he should have many more...WRs are coming together nicely, but the injury status of TJ Houshmandzadeh is concerning...Warrick Dunn is turning out to be a very good first round pick, despite losing goal line touches to TJ Duckett...Has some Monday Night Thunder, but probably won't need it...Probably won't need "3pm games Thunder" either...Will probably need some added depth to the running game in case Ruben Droughns gets cut out of the real life Browns attack, but RB1-3 is still very solid, despite Curtis Martin's struggles...KPOBW: Eddie Kennison
Prediction: The number of one win teams in the league will be cut by 60% as BB knocks off BFG to set the stage for an interesting race between the soon to be 2-3 SP, FLW, OCT and BB.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Looking Back: 2005 Baseball
The recently expired baseball season was one where we were actually able to complete a preseason poll. Let's take a look back and laugh at how silly we were for where we put the Gun and Stem in relation to one another, shall we? Quotes from the also expired "Nothing Doing In North Dakota"
Final Standings:
Champion: The Gun (preseason, #5) 71 points
Things that look smart now: "Team's biggest strength is in the outfield, with studs Manny Ramirez and Carl Crawford providing pop and speed, respectively, plus under-the-radar Hideki Matsui...Derrek Lee and sleeper Travis Hafner give good pop at first base...Three relievers combined for just 40 saves last year, but K-Rod should match that number by himself this year"
Things that look foolish now: "weak at 2B with Brian Roberts providing little outside of steals...pitching needs to step up to contend"
What what right: Don't even dare call it a fluke- but so many things went Eli's way in baseball (which he pays for in football, apparently). Derrek Lee. Brian Roberts. Chris Carpenter. Pedro Martinez and his one rotator cuff. None of these guys were supposed to do what they did, but their early season breakouts coincided with an insurmountable lead by May, and the season became a race for second shortly after.
What went wrong: Fleeced a couple teams and now has too many keeper options. Poor thing.
Preseason Rank Justified: Clearly not.
#2: Ed Schillinger (preseason #1) 63.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Chances center around pitching staff...Closers Joe Nathan, Billy Wagner and Braden Looper will put team in the top half of saves...Power will come from Mark Teixeira, Gary Sheffield and Carlos Lee, primarily"
Things that look foolish right now: "offense centers around centerfielder Carlos Beltran, who with a raise in BA could be best player in baseball...strong at weak position of catcher with Jason Kendall..."
What went right: It took a while, but the dominance of this pitching staff really showed at the end of the year. Mark Teixeira turned into one of the top5 offensive producers in baseball. Able to pick up Morgan Ensberg, Dustin Hermanson, Chone Figgins, Jorge Posada and Henry Blanco off of the wire. Kenny Rogers, for a while.
What went wrong: Carlos Beltran stunk. Juan Pierre started off not stealing bases, and had a horrific batting average. Infielders not Michael Young or Tex: Bret Boone and Mike Lowell and Jason Kendall.
Preseason Rank Justified: Yes. 63.5 is a damn good score for second place.
#3: Lincoln Souzek (preseason #3) 55 points
Things that look smart now: "FA has the best infield in the league, going around the horn with Albert Pujols, Jeff Kent, Edgar Renteria and Melvin Mora, plus David Ortiz for good measure...Mariano Rivera is as consistent as can be...Roger Clemens anchor[s] the staff"
Things that look foolish right now: "FA has the best infield in the league, going around the horn with Albert Pujols, Jeff Kent, Edgar Renteria and Melvin Mora, plus David Ortiz for good measure...Dave Roberts will be responsible for about 75% of this team's stolen bases...Guillermo Mota can be a dominant closer...Outfield's effectivness will be determined by two great talents; Larry Walker and Sammy Sosa"
What went right: Early season Jeff Kent. Midseason Jeff Francour. Late Season David Ortiz. Roger freakin Clemens. Mariano Rivera. The entire offense, until 2 categories crumbled from 7s to 4s. Scott Podsednik trade.
What went wrong: Late season tumble. Starting rotation after Clemens (Kerry Wood. Randy Johnson. Carl Pavano) Edgar Renteria. Kenny Rogers, post trade.
Preseason Rank Justified: Right on.
#4: JR Radcliffe (preseason #6) 51 points
Things that look smart now: "Vladimir Guererro and Miguel Cabrera can be counted on to perform at a level above everyone else...Braves middle infield of Marcus Giles and Rafael Furcal should both score 100 runs (close enough)...Brad Lidge and Armando Benitez are two dominant closers"
Things that look foolish right now: "Scott Rolen can counter that by put up numbers most 3B can not...Has one of the best young arms in the world in Oliver Perez...Brad Lidge and Armando Benitez are two dominant closers"
What went right: The waiver claim on Andruw Jones. 21st rounder Chad Cordero. Travis Hafner (even if it cost David Wright). Randy Johnson (6 wins, 2.58/0.89 for JR). Josh Beckett.
What went wrong: Odalis Perez. Over and over Odalis Perez. Scott Rolen. Armando Benitez. Roy Halladay, I guess.
Preseason Rank Justified: No. This team should have been in the top half.
#5 Andy Viano (preseason #2) 41.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Corner infield spots are best in the league with Thome, Dunn and Sexson at 1B and A-Rod and Blalock at 3B...Starting Pitching is talented, but young"
Things that look foolish right now: "Closers are good...Speed is there, 5 guys capable of stealing 20 bases...Shingo Takatsu serves as 3rd closer"
What went right: Great seasons from Adam Dunn and Chase Utley, plus Alex Rodriguez was decent as well. Zack Duke and Rich Harden proved to be outstanding pitchers
What went wrong: Injuries: Jim Thome, Ben Sheets, Milton Bradley really hurt. Could not solidify pitching staff.
Preseason Rank Justified: No. Injuries hurt, yes, but 2 was probably a little high.
#6a: Drew Wolf (preseason #7) 31.5 points
Things that look smart now: "has best the players at the thinnest two positions; Victor Martinez at Catcher and Alfonso Soriano at Second Base...Curt Schilling is team's ace, so Wolfmen has secured the league lead in "total assbag-ocity"...Bartolo Colon and Greg Maddux were two of the aforementioned autopicks, and though their ERAs are high, their win totals are impressive"
Things that look foolish right now: "Team hurt by a few autopicks made by yahoo...Danys Baez and Bob Wickman [are] wild cards in the save column"
What went right: Late season Victor Martinez. Bartolo Colon in a big (fat) way. Pre HomeRun Derby Bobby Abreu.
What went wrong: Pretty much everything else.
Preseason Rank Justified: Apparently, yes.
#6b: Brent Whitlock (preaseason #8) 31.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Zack Greinke and Dontrelle Willis have potential for good years...Eric Gagne was viewed as a reach in the second round...Needs Adrian Beltre to have an MVP season again, which may be hard outside of a contract year"
Things that look foolish right now: "Zack Greinke and Dontrelle Willis have potential for good years...Mark Buehrle is a workhorse and a real solid #3 or 4 starter in this league...good chance to lead the league in steals"
What went right: Ken Griffey Jr. Willis. Todd Jones and Ryan Dempster.
What went wrong: Dropped Jon Garland, Andruw Jones and Chone Figgins this season. Didn't have a ton to work with in the first place.
Preseason Rank Justified: Yes.
#8 Andrew Stem (Preseason #4) 15 points
Things that look smart now: "Outfield has too many questions: Barry Bonds already missing a ton of time, plus injury risks Magglio Ordonez and JD Drew are out there too...Not many steals on board...Starting Pitching strong up top with Tim Hudson and Jake Peavy"
Things that look foolish right now: "should lead the league in saves with Keith Foulke, Octavio Dotel and Danny Graves getting 9th innings...Dallas McPherson and Justin Morneau could give this team the best corner infielders through 2015"
What went right: Aramis Ramirez played like a first round pick for a couple months. They finished above 10.
What went wrong: Draft, beginning of season, middle of season, end of season.
Preseason Rank Justified: I'm guessing no.
Final Standings:
Champion: The Gun (preseason, #5) 71 points
Things that look smart now: "Team's biggest strength is in the outfield, with studs Manny Ramirez and Carl Crawford providing pop and speed, respectively, plus under-the-radar Hideki Matsui...Derrek Lee and sleeper Travis Hafner give good pop at first base...Three relievers combined for just 40 saves last year, but K-Rod should match that number by himself this year"
Things that look foolish now: "weak at 2B with Brian Roberts providing little outside of steals...pitching needs to step up to contend"
What what right: Don't even dare call it a fluke- but so many things went Eli's way in baseball (which he pays for in football, apparently). Derrek Lee. Brian Roberts. Chris Carpenter. Pedro Martinez and his one rotator cuff. None of these guys were supposed to do what they did, but their early season breakouts coincided with an insurmountable lead by May, and the season became a race for second shortly after.
What went wrong: Fleeced a couple teams and now has too many keeper options. Poor thing.
Preseason Rank Justified: Clearly not.
#2: Ed Schillinger (preseason #1) 63.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Chances center around pitching staff...Closers Joe Nathan, Billy Wagner and Braden Looper will put team in the top half of saves...Power will come from Mark Teixeira, Gary Sheffield and Carlos Lee, primarily"
Things that look foolish right now: "offense centers around centerfielder Carlos Beltran, who with a raise in BA could be best player in baseball...strong at weak position of catcher with Jason Kendall..."
What went right: It took a while, but the dominance of this pitching staff really showed at the end of the year. Mark Teixeira turned into one of the top5 offensive producers in baseball. Able to pick up Morgan Ensberg, Dustin Hermanson, Chone Figgins, Jorge Posada and Henry Blanco off of the wire. Kenny Rogers, for a while.
What went wrong: Carlos Beltran stunk. Juan Pierre started off not stealing bases, and had a horrific batting average. Infielders not Michael Young or Tex: Bret Boone and Mike Lowell and Jason Kendall.
Preseason Rank Justified: Yes. 63.5 is a damn good score for second place.
#3: Lincoln Souzek (preseason #3) 55 points
Things that look smart now: "FA has the best infield in the league, going around the horn with Albert Pujols, Jeff Kent, Edgar Renteria and Melvin Mora, plus David Ortiz for good measure...Mariano Rivera is as consistent as can be...Roger Clemens anchor[s] the staff"
Things that look foolish right now: "FA has the best infield in the league, going around the horn with Albert Pujols, Jeff Kent, Edgar Renteria and Melvin Mora, plus David Ortiz for good measure...Dave Roberts will be responsible for about 75% of this team's stolen bases...Guillermo Mota can be a dominant closer...Outfield's effectivness will be determined by two great talents; Larry Walker and Sammy Sosa"
What went right: Early season Jeff Kent. Midseason Jeff Francour. Late Season David Ortiz. Roger freakin Clemens. Mariano Rivera. The entire offense, until 2 categories crumbled from 7s to 4s. Scott Podsednik trade.
What went wrong: Late season tumble. Starting rotation after Clemens (Kerry Wood. Randy Johnson. Carl Pavano) Edgar Renteria. Kenny Rogers, post trade.
Preseason Rank Justified: Right on.
#4: JR Radcliffe (preseason #6) 51 points
Things that look smart now: "Vladimir Guererro and Miguel Cabrera can be counted on to perform at a level above everyone else...Braves middle infield of Marcus Giles and Rafael Furcal should both score 100 runs (close enough)...Brad Lidge and Armando Benitez are two dominant closers"
Things that look foolish right now: "Scott Rolen can counter that by put up numbers most 3B can not...Has one of the best young arms in the world in Oliver Perez...Brad Lidge and Armando Benitez are two dominant closers"
What went right: The waiver claim on Andruw Jones. 21st rounder Chad Cordero. Travis Hafner (even if it cost David Wright). Randy Johnson (6 wins, 2.58/0.89 for JR). Josh Beckett.
What went wrong: Odalis Perez. Over and over Odalis Perez. Scott Rolen. Armando Benitez. Roy Halladay, I guess.
Preseason Rank Justified: No. This team should have been in the top half.
#5 Andy Viano (preseason #2) 41.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Corner infield spots are best in the league with Thome, Dunn and Sexson at 1B and A-Rod and Blalock at 3B...Starting Pitching is talented, but young"
Things that look foolish right now: "Closers are good...Speed is there, 5 guys capable of stealing 20 bases...Shingo Takatsu serves as 3rd closer"
What went right: Great seasons from Adam Dunn and Chase Utley, plus Alex Rodriguez was decent as well. Zack Duke and Rich Harden proved to be outstanding pitchers
What went wrong: Injuries: Jim Thome, Ben Sheets, Milton Bradley really hurt. Could not solidify pitching staff.
Preseason Rank Justified: No. Injuries hurt, yes, but 2 was probably a little high.
#6a: Drew Wolf (preseason #7) 31.5 points
Things that look smart now: "has best the players at the thinnest two positions; Victor Martinez at Catcher and Alfonso Soriano at Second Base...Curt Schilling is team's ace, so Wolfmen has secured the league lead in "total assbag-ocity"...Bartolo Colon and Greg Maddux were two of the aforementioned autopicks, and though their ERAs are high, their win totals are impressive"
Things that look foolish right now: "Team hurt by a few autopicks made by yahoo...Danys Baez and Bob Wickman [are] wild cards in the save column"
What went right: Late season Victor Martinez. Bartolo Colon in a big (fat) way. Pre HomeRun Derby Bobby Abreu.
What went wrong: Pretty much everything else.
Preseason Rank Justified: Apparently, yes.
#6b: Brent Whitlock (preaseason #8) 31.5 points
Things that look smart now: "Zack Greinke and Dontrelle Willis have potential for good years...Eric Gagne was viewed as a reach in the second round...Needs Adrian Beltre to have an MVP season again, which may be hard outside of a contract year"
Things that look foolish right now: "Zack Greinke and Dontrelle Willis have potential for good years...Mark Buehrle is a workhorse and a real solid #3 or 4 starter in this league...good chance to lead the league in steals"
What went right: Ken Griffey Jr. Willis. Todd Jones and Ryan Dempster.
What went wrong: Dropped Jon Garland, Andruw Jones and Chone Figgins this season. Didn't have a ton to work with in the first place.
Preseason Rank Justified: Yes.
#8 Andrew Stem (Preseason #4) 15 points
Things that look smart now: "Outfield has too many questions: Barry Bonds already missing a ton of time, plus injury risks Magglio Ordonez and JD Drew are out there too...Not many steals on board...Starting Pitching strong up top with Tim Hudson and Jake Peavy"
Things that look foolish right now: "should lead the league in saves with Keith Foulke, Octavio Dotel and Danny Graves getting 9th innings...Dallas McPherson and Justin Morneau could give this team the best corner infielders through 2015"
What went right: Aramis Ramirez played like a first round pick for a couple months. They finished above 10.
What went wrong: Draft, beginning of season, middle of season, end of season.
Preseason Rank Justified: I'm guessing no.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Father Abraham
So what lies ahead for Father Abraham? McNabb’s surgery, Horn’s health, and Williams’ pot will go a long way in telling just how far this Father Abraham team can go.
Two stern tests will tell where this team sits. In consecutive weeks FA takes on the top two teams in the league in Madd Skillz and Cellar Dwellers. A sweep of the two would put FA as the best team in the league, a split would win some doubters, and a double loss would put the team where the haters think they should be. Damn haters.
Football Power Rankings- 10/5
1. Cellar Dwellars (4-0) Last week 2nd (+1)
-Undefeated with a first ever for Mr. Stem- a high point week. Just 13 off the pace in the points total, close enough to merit the leap considering the previous #1 had a lackluster week, while CD's totals grow every week.
2. Madd Skillz (4-0) LW: 1st (-1)
-A win is a win, yes- but this was not of the quality variety. Took the 6th highest point total of the week and barely held off The Octagon. First game under 100, and it's hard to tell whether or not a lot of the players are on their way up or down- is this team primed for a fall? Champeons will be a tough test next week.
3. Father Abraham (3-1) LW: 7th (+4)
-Huge gainer, can claim disrespect no more. The only 2-1 team to win this week, and did it in solid, thunderous fashion. 3rd straight win after a pithy week 1 output, team is red hot and rock solid.
This is where it gets tough. We have five 1-3 teams, and two 2-2 teams who did have not been impressive lately.
4. Blaine Browns (1-3) LW: 8th (+4)
-When in doubt, go with the team playing the best ball. Browns should be 4-0, and finally got in the win column this week. A convincing win too. Better things are coming, and a win next week is probable with Big Fat Guys on deck.
5. Fred Lane's Wife (1-3) LW: 6th (+1)
-Rising a notch after a loss? Why not? This performance solidifies FLW in my book, disproving the notion that week 1 was a fluke, and that their slide would continue for a long time. They got beat by a good team, by a small margin. That's all. Also, Peyton Manning is throwing TDs again. Watch out.
6. Sex Panther (1-3) LW: 3rd (-3)
-Big shakeup in the lineup after a loss, looking to add some consistency. In theory, removing Daunte Culpepper should stabilize your team, but Marc Bulger isn't exactly Mr. Reliable. Then again, he throws 76 passes a game in an Arena League offense, so who cares? Still a formidable team, and played well enough for an expected win (outscoring SKL by 0.50) and will need a win vs. The Octagon next week for supremacy among teams with Anchorman related names. A win will also keep them in the hunt.
7. Champeons (2-2) LW: 4th (-3)
-When you flirt with the league's all time low, you're going to get knocked down a few pegs. I still consider this team a playoff sleeper, but needs to win games against contenders to prove me right. The Gun said it best: consider this a bad week, and leave it at that.
8. The Octagon (2-2) LW: 5th (-3)
-Has fallen from 3rd to 8th in just two weeks time. Point total tops only the expansion teams. It's awfully hard to put a 2 win team (5th in the standings) this low, but can you honestly say that they're playing better than any of the teams above?
9. Big Fat Guys (1-3) LW: 10th (+1)
-He's no Drew Bennett, but Antonio Chatman has earned a place in VUFSA History. A statement game for BFG as they beat expansion rivals Who is Ron Mexico? in their first meeting ever. Will
smile about this one for a while.
10. Who is Ron Mexico? (1-3) LW: 9th (-1)
-Ouch.
Lots more content from me this week, with 2 midweek days off. Stay tuned.
-Undefeated with a first ever for Mr. Stem- a high point week. Just 13 off the pace in the points total, close enough to merit the leap considering the previous #1 had a lackluster week, while CD's totals grow every week.
2. Madd Skillz (4-0) LW: 1st (-1)
-A win is a win, yes- but this was not of the quality variety. Took the 6th highest point total of the week and barely held off The Octagon. First game under 100, and it's hard to tell whether or not a lot of the players are on their way up or down- is this team primed for a fall? Champeons will be a tough test next week.
3. Father Abraham (3-1) LW: 7th (+4)
-Huge gainer, can claim disrespect no more. The only 2-1 team to win this week, and did it in solid, thunderous fashion. 3rd straight win after a pithy week 1 output, team is red hot and rock solid.
This is where it gets tough. We have five 1-3 teams, and two 2-2 teams who did have not been impressive lately.
4. Blaine Browns (1-3) LW: 8th (+4)
-When in doubt, go with the team playing the best ball. Browns should be 4-0, and finally got in the win column this week. A convincing win too. Better things are coming, and a win next week is probable with Big Fat Guys on deck.
5. Fred Lane's Wife (1-3) LW: 6th (+1)
-Rising a notch after a loss? Why not? This performance solidifies FLW in my book, disproving the notion that week 1 was a fluke, and that their slide would continue for a long time. They got beat by a good team, by a small margin. That's all. Also, Peyton Manning is throwing TDs again. Watch out.
6. Sex Panther (1-3) LW: 3rd (-3)
-Big shakeup in the lineup after a loss, looking to add some consistency. In theory, removing Daunte Culpepper should stabilize your team, but Marc Bulger isn't exactly Mr. Reliable. Then again, he throws 76 passes a game in an Arena League offense, so who cares? Still a formidable team, and played well enough for an expected win (outscoring SKL by 0.50) and will need a win vs. The Octagon next week for supremacy among teams with Anchorman related names. A win will also keep them in the hunt.
7. Champeons (2-2) LW: 4th (-3)
-When you flirt with the league's all time low, you're going to get knocked down a few pegs. I still consider this team a playoff sleeper, but needs to win games against contenders to prove me right. The Gun said it best: consider this a bad week, and leave it at that.
8. The Octagon (2-2) LW: 5th (-3)
-Has fallen from 3rd to 8th in just two weeks time. Point total tops only the expansion teams. It's awfully hard to put a 2 win team (5th in the standings) this low, but can you honestly say that they're playing better than any of the teams above?
9. Big Fat Guys (1-3) LW: 10th (+1)
-He's no Drew Bennett, but Antonio Chatman has earned a place in VUFSA History. A statement game for BFG as they beat expansion rivals Who is Ron Mexico? in their first meeting ever. Will
smile about this one for a while.
10. Who is Ron Mexico? (1-3) LW: 9th (-1)
-Ouch.
Lots more content from me this week, with 2 midweek days off. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
VUFSA: Week 15
Oh, it's not really week 15? Maybe it just feels like it because my season is over.
Turdy turd turd.
I'm changing the format this week. Because first, who am I to tell you what a good move or bad move is? Second, I want to spend less than three hours on my recaps.
On to the matchups:
==============
Big Fat Guys: 82.25 points
Who is Ron Mexico? 73.50
Game summary: In a matchup for the ages, these two titans clashed early Sunday afternoon, matching each other blow-for-blow. For about eight minutes. BFG took an early lead, and after three hours of battle, Who is Ron Mexico? had 4.50 points. However, late games brought them back and they seemed in position to thunder BFG on Monday night. With the world watching, WIRM climbed to within a half point during the evening and looked to storm ahead. Just about the time owner Dave Tomke was on the phone ordering a 44-foot bronze statue embossed with words "I FUCKING RULE" to be built in the center of VU's campus, Ahman Green went down with a knee injury. And Antonio Chatman went off, finding the end zone. Ballgame. Baron got his first VUFSA win and moved out of last place, ahead of reeling Who is Ron Mexico?
Big Fat Guys (1-3): Carson Palmer continued to play rock-solid at the quarterback position, putting up 17.25 points. Most importantly for Baron, the Lions did everything in their power to stop Cadillac Williams, and they did that -- but that allowed them to surrender roughly 742 yards to Joey Galloway, who had a gigantic week. BFG made a few moves this week, unclogging his quarterback situation and acquiring three running backs. The impact of those deals won't be known until the running back situations in Chicago, Cleveland and Carolina all shake out.
Who is Ron Mexico? (1-3): Add him to the list of owners who really, really hate Ahman Green. No true strong performances from his team, leading to this loss. Falcons Michael Vick (12.50 points) and T.J. Duckett (10.00 points) led the way this weekend. New addition Mike Anderson may ease the pain from Green's knee injury, but for an owner who wants to win now, this is a frustrating loss.
==========
Madd Skillz: 96.25
The Octagon: 93.25
Game summary: This was almost an extremely dramatic Monday night game. The Octagon initially opted to retain Jason Taylor and not start one of his defensive players. But once this matchup appeared close heading into Monday night, Taylor was dropped and Chris Gamble picked up. Skillz spent the entire night waiting for Steve Smith to break loose and score, but just one single point from the receiver kept this very, very close. Had Gamble intercepted a Brett Fave pass (and it nearly happened) and taken it to the house, JR would have pulled off the most dramatic and cunning fantasy win in several days. However, as it stands, he didn't. Ho hum, Ed wins again.
Madd Skillz(4-0): Not nearly as impressive a win as his previous efforts, but he just keeps rolling along. LDT with another huge week and new starting tight end Jeremy Shockey seems to enjoy a finally-good Eli Manning, putting up 10 points. This win is definitely a credit to the overall depth of the team, who still put up a decent total and won despite some of his bigger contributers (Chad Johnson, Smith, Fred Taylor) being held down significantly. Will face ChamPeons next week for a chance to move to 5-0.
The Octagon (2-2): He's just really pissed about his team. Lots of underachievers here as we saw from the Top Ten List, with several keepers not doing what they were expected to. Tony Gonzalez isn't producing and is unhappy with his role and Andre Johnson has been sucked into the Texans' black hole of an offense. On the plus side, Marvin Harrison and Tiki Barber did break out with big games, which bodes well for future weeks. Once Trent Green and Gonzalez get moving, and they will, better times will follow. Also, Kevan Barlow is really bad.
=========
Blaine Browns: 132.25
Sex Panther: 96.75
Game summary (18-6): The Blaine Browns made sure that there would be no "most points of any loser tag" this week, exploding for the second-highest total. Sex Panther took an early lead with plenty of early games, but the outcome was never really in doubt after mid-afternoon. Terrell Owens was huge yet again (20.00 points) and is on pace for an absolutely absurd 2,134 yards this season. As always, for Sex Panther, Daunte Culpepper made the team stay or go. They stayed this week.
Blaine Browns (1-3): With four 1-3 teams out there, there's some major catching up to do. BB got started on that this week. This team hasn't had a poor week yet, and is third in overall points despite being seventh in the standings. Impressively, the team has performed well despite Curtis Martin mostly disappearing for the entire season. With TO, Edgerrin James and a resurgent Drew Brees, this team still has a very good shot to sneak back into the playoff hunt -- especially with his next two games coming against expansion teams.
Sex Panther (1-3): Who gives a shit?
===============
Father Abraham: 122.25
Fred Lane's Wife: 119.00
Game summary: Another thunder matchup here, as another big performance from Stephen Davis (18.50 points) was enough to offset an inactive WR slot for Father Abraham. FLW had to be pleased with Peyton Manning's return from the grave, but it wasn't enough here, as Donovan McNabb was just as good (32.50 points), and FA got five other players in double figures. Had Horn played, this matchup likely wouldn't have even been close.
Father Abraham outlook (3-1): This team is good. Amidst all the hype over some other teams, Lincoln has very quietly put himself in great position this season. Now that the Ravens are using a fullback again (good idea, eh?), Jamal Lewis should start to produce some better numbers, as he did this week. McNabb has been the best QB in football thus far, and Priest Holmes may not be threatened by Larry Johnson as much as originally thought. Up and down, it's a very good roster and the team currently has a very real shot at landing one of the VUFSA's top two seeds. His game next week against undefeated Cellar Dwellers will be watched closely by many (meaning: 9-10 people).
Fred Lane's Wife (1-3): Everyone is surprised by this team's start. With the running back situation suddenly very thin, things suddenly don't look great for Andy Viano's club. The loss of Javon Walker has hurt, and Corey Dillon is scoring touchdowns, but not getting the yardage needed to boost his point totals to that of a No. 1 running back. However, the owner is shrewd and can't be expected to simply sit on his hands and wait this out. Don't be surprised to see some sort of shakeup in the next week or two from this team in an attempt to get things going again.
============
Cellar Dwellers: 141.75
ChamPeons: 66.25
Game summary: Guh. Who's afraid of big, bad Andrew Stem? I am. The story of the week is CD's move to 4-0 with a dominating effort over ChamPeons. Plaxico Burress also loves Eli Manning, pouring on 27 points during an embarassment of Saint Louis. And 19 points from a kicker? Yikes. ChamPeons didn't have a chance this week, and poor performances from just about everyone on his roster made this a blowout.
Cellar Dwellers (4-0: All right, all right, we get it. You aren't Matt Millen. What's so intriguing about this outburst is that he did it while getting .50 point from his tight end spot and 3.50 points from two receiving spots. LaMont Jordan and Shaun Alexander are probably the best 1-2 running back punch in the league, and the team also has a nice QB platoon system to work in based on matchups. The roster may not look quite as flashy, but so far, Cellar Dwellers has been every bit as impressive as the other 4-0 team in the VUFSA.
ChamPeons (2-2): A bad week for Champ here, as none of the his go-to guys got going to put up significant numerbs. Though it doesn't appear as if it would have mattered this week. But he still sits at 2-2, ahead of the wild pack of 1-3 clubs. There are some QB and depth issues, but the team still has Randy Moss and one of the best young backs in the league, John Clayton favorite Julius Jones. With the owner's penchant for making moves, the squad is still very much in the playoff hunt. We'll go ahead and give this one the "Tough luck, move on" performance of the week.
Turdy turd turd.
I'm changing the format this week. Because first, who am I to tell you what a good move or bad move is? Second, I want to spend less than three hours on my recaps.
On to the matchups:
==============
Big Fat Guys: 82.25 points
Who is Ron Mexico? 73.50
Game summary: In a matchup for the ages, these two titans clashed early Sunday afternoon, matching each other blow-for-blow. For about eight minutes. BFG took an early lead, and after three hours of battle, Who is Ron Mexico? had 4.50 points. However, late games brought them back and they seemed in position to thunder BFG on Monday night. With the world watching, WIRM climbed to within a half point during the evening and looked to storm ahead. Just about the time owner Dave Tomke was on the phone ordering a 44-foot bronze statue embossed with words "I FUCKING RULE" to be built in the center of VU's campus, Ahman Green went down with a knee injury. And Antonio Chatman went off, finding the end zone. Ballgame. Baron got his first VUFSA win and moved out of last place, ahead of reeling Who is Ron Mexico?
Big Fat Guys (1-3): Carson Palmer continued to play rock-solid at the quarterback position, putting up 17.25 points. Most importantly for Baron, the Lions did everything in their power to stop Cadillac Williams, and they did that -- but that allowed them to surrender roughly 742 yards to Joey Galloway, who had a gigantic week. BFG made a few moves this week, unclogging his quarterback situation and acquiring three running backs. The impact of those deals won't be known until the running back situations in Chicago, Cleveland and Carolina all shake out.
Who is Ron Mexico? (1-3): Add him to the list of owners who really, really hate Ahman Green. No true strong performances from his team, leading to this loss. Falcons Michael Vick (12.50 points) and T.J. Duckett (10.00 points) led the way this weekend. New addition Mike Anderson may ease the pain from Green's knee injury, but for an owner who wants to win now, this is a frustrating loss.
==========
Madd Skillz: 96.25
The Octagon: 93.25
Game summary: This was almost an extremely dramatic Monday night game. The Octagon initially opted to retain Jason Taylor and not start one of his defensive players. But once this matchup appeared close heading into Monday night, Taylor was dropped and Chris Gamble picked up. Skillz spent the entire night waiting for Steve Smith to break loose and score, but just one single point from the receiver kept this very, very close. Had Gamble intercepted a Brett Fave pass (and it nearly happened) and taken it to the house, JR would have pulled off the most dramatic and cunning fantasy win in several days. However, as it stands, he didn't. Ho hum, Ed wins again.
Madd Skillz(4-0): Not nearly as impressive a win as his previous efforts, but he just keeps rolling along. LDT with another huge week and new starting tight end Jeremy Shockey seems to enjoy a finally-good Eli Manning, putting up 10 points. This win is definitely a credit to the overall depth of the team, who still put up a decent total and won despite some of his bigger contributers (Chad Johnson, Smith, Fred Taylor) being held down significantly. Will face ChamPeons next week for a chance to move to 5-0.
The Octagon (2-2): He's just really pissed about his team. Lots of underachievers here as we saw from the Top Ten List, with several keepers not doing what they were expected to. Tony Gonzalez isn't producing and is unhappy with his role and Andre Johnson has been sucked into the Texans' black hole of an offense. On the plus side, Marvin Harrison and Tiki Barber did break out with big games, which bodes well for future weeks. Once Trent Green and Gonzalez get moving, and they will, better times will follow. Also, Kevan Barlow is really bad.
=========
Blaine Browns: 132.25
Sex Panther: 96.75
Game summary (18-6): The Blaine Browns made sure that there would be no "most points of any loser tag" this week, exploding for the second-highest total. Sex Panther took an early lead with plenty of early games, but the outcome was never really in doubt after mid-afternoon. Terrell Owens was huge yet again (20.00 points) and is on pace for an absolutely absurd 2,134 yards this season. As always, for Sex Panther, Daunte Culpepper made the team stay or go. They stayed this week.
Blaine Browns (1-3): With four 1-3 teams out there, there's some major catching up to do. BB got started on that this week. This team hasn't had a poor week yet, and is third in overall points despite being seventh in the standings. Impressively, the team has performed well despite Curtis Martin mostly disappearing for the entire season. With TO, Edgerrin James and a resurgent Drew Brees, this team still has a very good shot to sneak back into the playoff hunt -- especially with his next two games coming against expansion teams.
Sex Panther (1-3): Who gives a shit?
===============
Father Abraham: 122.25
Fred Lane's Wife: 119.00
Game summary: Another thunder matchup here, as another big performance from Stephen Davis (18.50 points) was enough to offset an inactive WR slot for Father Abraham. FLW had to be pleased with Peyton Manning's return from the grave, but it wasn't enough here, as Donovan McNabb was just as good (32.50 points), and FA got five other players in double figures. Had Horn played, this matchup likely wouldn't have even been close.
Father Abraham outlook (3-1): This team is good. Amidst all the hype over some other teams, Lincoln has very quietly put himself in great position this season. Now that the Ravens are using a fullback again (good idea, eh?), Jamal Lewis should start to produce some better numbers, as he did this week. McNabb has been the best QB in football thus far, and Priest Holmes may not be threatened by Larry Johnson as much as originally thought. Up and down, it's a very good roster and the team currently has a very real shot at landing one of the VUFSA's top two seeds. His game next week against undefeated Cellar Dwellers will be watched closely by many (meaning: 9-10 people).
Fred Lane's Wife (1-3): Everyone is surprised by this team's start. With the running back situation suddenly very thin, things suddenly don't look great for Andy Viano's club. The loss of Javon Walker has hurt, and Corey Dillon is scoring touchdowns, but not getting the yardage needed to boost his point totals to that of a No. 1 running back. However, the owner is shrewd and can't be expected to simply sit on his hands and wait this out. Don't be surprised to see some sort of shakeup in the next week or two from this team in an attempt to get things going again.
============
Cellar Dwellers: 141.75
ChamPeons: 66.25
Game summary: Guh. Who's afraid of big, bad Andrew Stem? I am. The story of the week is CD's move to 4-0 with a dominating effort over ChamPeons. Plaxico Burress also loves Eli Manning, pouring on 27 points during an embarassment of Saint Louis. And 19 points from a kicker? Yikes. ChamPeons didn't have a chance this week, and poor performances from just about everyone on his roster made this a blowout.
Cellar Dwellers (4-0: All right, all right, we get it. You aren't Matt Millen. What's so intriguing about this outburst is that he did it while getting .50 point from his tight end spot and 3.50 points from two receiving spots. LaMont Jordan and Shaun Alexander are probably the best 1-2 running back punch in the league, and the team also has a nice QB platoon system to work in based on matchups. The roster may not look quite as flashy, but so far, Cellar Dwellers has been every bit as impressive as the other 4-0 team in the VUFSA.
ChamPeons (2-2): A bad week for Champ here, as none of the his go-to guys got going to put up significant numerbs. Though it doesn't appear as if it would have mattered this week. But he still sits at 2-2, ahead of the wild pack of 1-3 clubs. There are some QB and depth issues, but the team still has Randy Moss and one of the best young backs in the league, John Clayton favorite Julius Jones. With the owner's penchant for making moves, the squad is still very much in the playoff hunt. We'll go ahead and give this one the "Tough luck, move on" performance of the week.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Top Ten WHAT THE FUCKs?
The Top Ten list of players who have prompted owners to ask "What the Fuck?" in hostile frustration. Non injury related disappointments after four weeks of pigskin.
10. Charles Rogers, 4.50 (Father Abraham): The news today is that the Lions receiver, who remains loaded with promise, will miss four games with a drug suspension, further compounding a useless season to this point. The wideout hasn't even cracked Lincoln Souzek's lineup to this point, but he certainly figured on being a decent component of the future. Now that's pretty uncertain.
9. Tony Gonzalez, 13.50 (The Octagon): He was supposed to be the best tight end in football. And as of right now, there are four free agents scoring more points than him. Trent Green and the Chiefs offense hasn't done much with the pass this year, and Gonzalez has been the greatest casualty, without a touchdown while the best tight end in the league (LJ Smith) sits on The Octagon's bench.
8. Michael Clayton, 16.50 (Who is Ron Mexico?): The Bucs receiver has been far from stellar this year, despite being tabbed as a breakthrough-type before the season started. His 1.00 points this week was disgusting, especially after following up his stellar 4.50 week from a year ago. As a receiver, you can never be proud when you have more fumbles (1) than touchdowns.
7. Kevin Jones, 20.50 (Cellar Dwellars): Benched in the second half of this week's game, Jones' promise has suddenly been tempered in Detroit ... just another sad tale in the worst division of all time. He had a laughable 2.50 points in week 2 and has yet to reach double digits for a team that has nonethless gone 4-0. Really, truly amazing.
6. J.J. Arrington, 5.00 (The Octagon): Admittedly, this is the self-serving portion of the program, where I bitch and moan about my awful team. Arrington wasn't as hyped as Ronnie Brown or Cadillac Williams as rookie running backs go, but most people saw him as a legitimate back in the NFL. Instead, Dennis Green decided that Marcel Shipp might be a better option in Arizona, came out and said he actually prefers undrafted guys to the hyped guys, and Arrington's illness made things worse. Five points for a guy who was slated as a potential No. 2 running back is brutal.
5. Lee Evans, 8.50 (The Octagon): The Buffalo Bills have the worst quarterback in the NFL and the best Wisconsin receiver nobody's using. Evans caught two passes on the first drive of the Bills' game yesterday, and then never touched another ball, mostly because quarterback J.P. Losman is a turdy turd turd. Evans is one of those guys who would become a superstar in another offense, but he's awfully constrained where he's at.
4. Andre Johnson, 7.50 (The Octagon): David Carr may have great hair, but he is rapidly becoming such a first overall pick bust that he actually got his offensive coordinator fired after two weeks of football. Johnson, who has the talent to be at the front line of NFL receivers, has been absolutely stifled and his keeper status has been thrown into question. Johnson wasn't a superstar last year, either, as far as catching touchdowns went, but most people thought he had the talent to step up into another level.
3. Brandon Stokley, 10.00 (Who is Ron Mexico?): He was supposed to be the No. 2 option in one of the most lush of meadows in which wide receivers frolic. But the Colts have chosen to be more conservative this year, and Stokley has been the most impacted, sliding down the depth chart in addition to Peyton Manning's so-so fantasy slugishness (before this week). The dude didn't even play this week. And, to make matters entirely worse, he's still white.
2. Jamal Lewis, 15.50 (Father Abraham): Lewis didn't play in Week 3, but the one-time fantasy super-stud topped out at 11 this week, with a 4.50 in week one and fatty zero in the second week. His offseason drug lovin' seems to have translated into some crappy run lovin', with Chester Taylor (hopefully) breathing down Lewis' neck for playing time. Not what owner Lincoln Souzek was looking for.
1. Daunte Culpepper, 40.25 (Sex Panther): His point total may not seem entirely awful for a quarterback, but it's really the product of one good week out of four. His barftastic performance in Week 1 meant Sex Panther would fall short against Madd Skillz, and his 3.75 showing in Week 2 allowed an expansion franchise with a bitch owner to get a win. Eli Gieryna's team probably doesn't win this week even with a better showing from his QB, but 8.75 points isn't worth a whole lot. Conclusion: that joke about Daunte's head looking like a penis just became funnier now that he sucks.
10. Charles Rogers, 4.50 (Father Abraham): The news today is that the Lions receiver, who remains loaded with promise, will miss four games with a drug suspension, further compounding a useless season to this point. The wideout hasn't even cracked Lincoln Souzek's lineup to this point, but he certainly figured on being a decent component of the future. Now that's pretty uncertain.
9. Tony Gonzalez, 13.50 (The Octagon): He was supposed to be the best tight end in football. And as of right now, there are four free agents scoring more points than him. Trent Green and the Chiefs offense hasn't done much with the pass this year, and Gonzalez has been the greatest casualty, without a touchdown while the best tight end in the league (LJ Smith) sits on The Octagon's bench.
8. Michael Clayton, 16.50 (Who is Ron Mexico?): The Bucs receiver has been far from stellar this year, despite being tabbed as a breakthrough-type before the season started. His 1.00 points this week was disgusting, especially after following up his stellar 4.50 week from a year ago. As a receiver, you can never be proud when you have more fumbles (1) than touchdowns.
7. Kevin Jones, 20.50 (Cellar Dwellars): Benched in the second half of this week's game, Jones' promise has suddenly been tempered in Detroit ... just another sad tale in the worst division of all time. He had a laughable 2.50 points in week 2 and has yet to reach double digits for a team that has nonethless gone 4-0. Really, truly amazing.
6. J.J. Arrington, 5.00 (The Octagon): Admittedly, this is the self-serving portion of the program, where I bitch and moan about my awful team. Arrington wasn't as hyped as Ronnie Brown or Cadillac Williams as rookie running backs go, but most people saw him as a legitimate back in the NFL. Instead, Dennis Green decided that Marcel Shipp might be a better option in Arizona, came out and said he actually prefers undrafted guys to the hyped guys, and Arrington's illness made things worse. Five points for a guy who was slated as a potential No. 2 running back is brutal.
5. Lee Evans, 8.50 (The Octagon): The Buffalo Bills have the worst quarterback in the NFL and the best Wisconsin receiver nobody's using. Evans caught two passes on the first drive of the Bills' game yesterday, and then never touched another ball, mostly because quarterback J.P. Losman is a turdy turd turd. Evans is one of those guys who would become a superstar in another offense, but he's awfully constrained where he's at.
4. Andre Johnson, 7.50 (The Octagon): David Carr may have great hair, but he is rapidly becoming such a first overall pick bust that he actually got his offensive coordinator fired after two weeks of football. Johnson, who has the talent to be at the front line of NFL receivers, has been absolutely stifled and his keeper status has been thrown into question. Johnson wasn't a superstar last year, either, as far as catching touchdowns went, but most people thought he had the talent to step up into another level.
3. Brandon Stokley, 10.00 (Who is Ron Mexico?): He was supposed to be the No. 2 option in one of the most lush of meadows in which wide receivers frolic. But the Colts have chosen to be more conservative this year, and Stokley has been the most impacted, sliding down the depth chart in addition to Peyton Manning's so-so fantasy slugishness (before this week). The dude didn't even play this week. And, to make matters entirely worse, he's still white.
2. Jamal Lewis, 15.50 (Father Abraham): Lewis didn't play in Week 3, but the one-time fantasy super-stud topped out at 11 this week, with a 4.50 in week one and fatty zero in the second week. His offseason drug lovin' seems to have translated into some crappy run lovin', with Chester Taylor (hopefully) breathing down Lewis' neck for playing time. Not what owner Lincoln Souzek was looking for.
1. Daunte Culpepper, 40.25 (Sex Panther): His point total may not seem entirely awful for a quarterback, but it's really the product of one good week out of four. His barftastic performance in Week 1 meant Sex Panther would fall short against Madd Skillz, and his 3.75 showing in Week 2 allowed an expansion franchise with a bitch owner to get a win. Eli Gieryna's team probably doesn't win this week even with a better showing from his QB, but 8.75 points isn't worth a whole lot. Conclusion: that joke about Daunte's head looking like a penis just became funnier now that he sucks.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Week 4 Preview
Apologies for the unfulfilled promises this week- though Drew and JR have done a great job providing content while my internal clock resets. On to the week that will be...
GAME OF THE WEEK
Sex Panther vs. Blaine Browns (-1)
It's absurd to have a game with this much at stake this early in the year...We could see two projected playoff contenders lose 3 of their first 4 if the Browns win...Despite monster week last week, BB is favored by a point...If nothing else, we'll find out after this game who the fantasy gods hate more...Teams are 1-1 in head-to-head battles, with Drew's team winning the most recent meeting 161.75-141.75
News and Notes, SP
If you couldn't tell from the power rankings, I'm very impressed with Eli's team...Steven Jackson's potential injury will be the x-factor in this matchup; if he can't go, or is severly limited, give the edge to Blaine...Daunte Culpepper is allegedly back on track, but to be honest, I have to see it consistently before he is considered the stud he was last year; right now he scares his own owner as much as he does opposing owners...Willis MaGahee is the only Buffalo Bill that is not effected by the stench coming from JP Losman, and that's fortunate for the gun because he should be a top5 back this year...Cadillac Williams is probably haunting the dreams of the expansion owners right now...WR1-3 are about as steady as they come, and could be as spectacular if Reggie Wayne gets on track...Big unknown as to what Mewelde Moore will do in the flex spot in place of the producing Thomas Jones...I honestly think that the only thing that could stop this team is injuries, like the one to Jackson, or the possibility of injuries to both MaGahee and Cadillac (who were banged up in college)...Outside of that, no weaknesses...Key Players on Bye Week: Thomas Jones
News and Notes, BB
Wolfman is playing well enough to win every week, despite a lack of production from Curtis Martin...Will Martin ever get on track now that the Jet's offense is without a competent QB? This team needs him to, badly...Edgerrin James has his first breakout of the season, he should feast on a weak Tennessee team this week...Keenan McCardell and his insane production finally get a spot in the lineup this week...Drew Brees looked very good, very unflukeish last week, that needs to continue...Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler are still stuck in an offense that doesn't play well to their fantasy strengths; if they can get on the board, it could give BB the push they need to get off the schneid...We know what Terrell Owens can do, but the production of Donald Driver will be more pivotal to this team's success...KPOBW: Ruben Droughns
Prediction: I do like Drew's chances in this game, but I don't see Sex Panther losing again until week 9. It's a big roll he's going to start, and it sucks that Drew is in the way on a week he needs a win.
THE 2 SPOT
Madd Skillz (-41 - WTF?) vs. The Octagon
Largest spread that I can remember, even bigger than that of Sex Panther-Big Fat Guys last week, go figure...Part of that is that at the time of this writing, OCT has yet to find two defensive starters to fill in for bye weeks, so it will go down 10-15 points by gametime...Still, don't bet on this being a 25 point differential...Schillinger is 3-0 lifetime against JR, with the most recent matchup going Schill's way in the 2004 Championship Game
News and Notes, SKL
Got bad news from the Jets this week, and not because they had to drop their third QB; but rather that WR3 Laverneus Coles may be useless for the rest of the season if Brooks Bollinger and Vinny Testeverde are in charge...That could be a big disadvantage for this team, especially if Santana Moss doesn't work out...Is it worth watching LDT get minimal touches for two weeks before getting an explosion every third? Probably not, but it's debateable...Tom Brady back in the starting lineup after watching Li'l Eli Manning torch the Charger secondary for a while...Jeremy Shockey gets second straight start at TE despite being acquired as a backup; then again Brady was drafted as a backup too, and he's on his third start in four weeks...All eyes (well, just mine) will be on Domanick Davis, as he is off his bye and away from two hellaciously good defenses; will he be finally be the stud he was supposed to be?...WR1-2 punch is among the best in the league right now, pretty suprisingly...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, OCT
Best week so far is their only loss of the season...The good news is that they are very much on the up, bad news is that their hottest player has a bye this week...Like SKL will be watching Davis, OCT will be following Andre Johnson to see if he can finally live up to his preseason hype...Tiki Barber and Brian Westbrook are a phenomonal RB combo, but Kevan Barlow's stock is slipping and could cause problems at the RB3 spot...Trent Green- who really knows what's up with Trent Green right now? Is this his (and Tony Gonzalez's) breakout? Against the Eagles, it's not likely- though they may have to throw a lot in the second half...Chester Taylor is starting in the Flex spot, which could be a great move if Jamal Lewis keeps running like poop...KPOBW: Hines Ward, Antwaan Randle El, Jason Taylor (?)
Prediction: I don't want to make a prediction on my own games any more.
Game #3
Champeons (-5) vs. Cellar Dwellers
While Stem looks awfully comfortable in unfamilar territory, his fall from first could be swift, as a mere win by Champeons vaults him ahead of this years so-far-cinderella...This is really a magnificent #3 game this week, worthy of Game of the Week status most other times...Champ is 2-0 vs. Stem lifetime, winning 127.25-79.50 to close out last season
News and Notes, CHM
Riding Drew Bledsoe again this week, keeping with the reliance on Cowboys (QB, RB1, Flex) until it burns...Derrick Mason returns this week as his Ravens take on the Jets in what will be the absolute worst source of fantasy points all year long; that game might not see a completed pass...Travis Henry's suspension is good news for Chris Brown owner Whitlock, as his RB3 spot now has someone carrying the load for his team every game...I really like this WR corps, and think it's the deepest in the league with Randy Moss, Rod Smith, Mason, Keyshawn Johnson, Isaac Bruce and sleeper Mike Williams...Clinton Portis remains a mystery, not yet living up to his draft spot last year (#6 overall) but is still someone most owners would feel confident starting every week; you can't really ask for a better RB2 in this league right now...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, CD
Won the battle of undefeateds without their WR1 and RB2, impressive...it seems as if Stem has stalled all Matt Millen comparisons, but can they keep up this pace? Of course they won't go undefeated (no one will), but is a 9 win season (6 win turnaround) possible? It is, especially considering their point totals are rising, and LaMont Jordan is starting to justify his predraft hype...It's Jake Delhomme's turn in the starting lineup this week, which means Byron Leftwich will have a big game...Larry Fitz, Jerry Porter and Roy Williams is the best combination of youth and talent at WR in the league...Said earlier that a weak week from Shaun Alexander is crippling to this club, and that stands true this and all future weeks; team doesn't win with a meager 10 pointer from Alexander last week...has a slight edge in the TE battle, with Ernie Conwell; that says something about the TEs in this game...KPOBW: Randy McMichael
Prediction: Can't win em all, and though Stem is much improved and a playoff contender, Champ's team is lurking and capable of huge weeks. This looks like a game where the WR will make the difference, and Randy Moss will provide the winning margin for CHM.
Batting Cleanup
Father Abraham (-14) vs. Fred Lanes Wife
A crucial game for both clubs, as FLW needs a win to stay near the pack for a playoff spot, while FA can start to pull away from potential playoff teams by starting 3-1...Viano is 2-0 lifetime against Souzek
News and Notes, FA
Being carried by Donovan McNabb and Stephen Davis, oddly enough...It's getting old, but still very true; will need some noise from Jamal Lewis to make any sort of sustained run...WRs 1-3 have been as good as can be expected, despite just 2 total touchdowns between Joe Horn, Muhsin Muhammed and Anquan Boldin...Priest Holmes is not playing like the stud he once was, but is still a solid RB1, putting up double digits most weeks...Ashley Lelie and Charles Rogers are both hit-or-miss players in the lineup this week, and Lelie has the bigger upside...KPOBW: Muhsin Muhammed
News and Notes, FLW
It gets tiresome, writing about Peyton Manning ever week, so I won't; It doesn't take a genius to see that he's the reason that this team is under .500...Is there ever a week that Manning gets benched? With David Carr as the other option, no there never is- probably not even his bye week...Kevin Curtis found the end zone last week, but is far from a guarantee in the Rams offense; this is where the loss of Javon Walker really hurts...Tatum Bell is a good gamble in the RB3 spot this week, with byes depleting the RB corps...Corey Dillon and Deuce McAllister are both short on yardage, but fine on TDs, which makes it palatable...KPOBW: Ronnie Brown, Willie Parker
Prediction: Equipped with one of the only QBs that can match a monster week from Manning, FA rides a slightly stronger running game to victory in what I consider an upset, but technically isn't.
The 5 Hole
Big Fat Guys vs. Ken's Anal Adventure (-14)
An intriguing #5 game, thanks to the budding rivalry between the two expansion teams...No one would have ever predicted that Dave and Kenny would be 14 point favorites at any point this season, right?...This is the first meeting between the two teams
News and Notes, BFG
Gives Carson Palmer the starting nod this week, in an attempt to shut Dave up once and for all...and he plays the Texans...Starting WRs (who tallied 47 points in week 3) all have the potential for big games...RB corps is still weak, though Mike Anderson is worthy of a weekly start, just not as an RB1...Still waiting for Alex Smith to have another big week...KPOBW: Chris Chambers
News and Notes, KAA
Making up for benching both of their Minnesota WRs last week by starting them both this week...Has put together an awfully solid starting lineup by week 4, which is impressive...RB situation is stable, with a potential stud, a starter and a goal line back...WRs have loads of potential in real life, though fantasy expectations should be tempered...It's hard to guess what Michael Vick will do on a given week. The reason that QBs score so much in this league is the 5-6 points they get for completions. Vick doesn't usually get those, but can rack up rushing points that no other QB can...This is probably the week Brandon Stokley finds the end zone...KPOBW: Braylon Edwards, Lee Suggs
Prediction: Carson Palmer has a big day, and BFG's RBs score a few TDs in the upset of the week.
GAME OF THE WEEK
Sex Panther vs. Blaine Browns (-1)
It's absurd to have a game with this much at stake this early in the year...We could see two projected playoff contenders lose 3 of their first 4 if the Browns win...Despite monster week last week, BB is favored by a point...If nothing else, we'll find out after this game who the fantasy gods hate more...Teams are 1-1 in head-to-head battles, with Drew's team winning the most recent meeting 161.75-141.75
News and Notes, SP
If you couldn't tell from the power rankings, I'm very impressed with Eli's team...Steven Jackson's potential injury will be the x-factor in this matchup; if he can't go, or is severly limited, give the edge to Blaine...Daunte Culpepper is allegedly back on track, but to be honest, I have to see it consistently before he is considered the stud he was last year; right now he scares his own owner as much as he does opposing owners...Willis MaGahee is the only Buffalo Bill that is not effected by the stench coming from JP Losman, and that's fortunate for the gun because he should be a top5 back this year...Cadillac Williams is probably haunting the dreams of the expansion owners right now...WR1-3 are about as steady as they come, and could be as spectacular if Reggie Wayne gets on track...Big unknown as to what Mewelde Moore will do in the flex spot in place of the producing Thomas Jones...I honestly think that the only thing that could stop this team is injuries, like the one to Jackson, or the possibility of injuries to both MaGahee and Cadillac (who were banged up in college)...Outside of that, no weaknesses...Key Players on Bye Week: Thomas Jones
News and Notes, BB
Wolfman is playing well enough to win every week, despite a lack of production from Curtis Martin...Will Martin ever get on track now that the Jet's offense is without a competent QB? This team needs him to, badly...Edgerrin James has his first breakout of the season, he should feast on a weak Tennessee team this week...Keenan McCardell and his insane production finally get a spot in the lineup this week...Drew Brees looked very good, very unflukeish last week, that needs to continue...Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler are still stuck in an offense that doesn't play well to their fantasy strengths; if they can get on the board, it could give BB the push they need to get off the schneid...We know what Terrell Owens can do, but the production of Donald Driver will be more pivotal to this team's success...KPOBW: Ruben Droughns
Prediction: I do like Drew's chances in this game, but I don't see Sex Panther losing again until week 9. It's a big roll he's going to start, and it sucks that Drew is in the way on a week he needs a win.
THE 2 SPOT
Madd Skillz (-41 - WTF?) vs. The Octagon
Largest spread that I can remember, even bigger than that of Sex Panther-Big Fat Guys last week, go figure...Part of that is that at the time of this writing, OCT has yet to find two defensive starters to fill in for bye weeks, so it will go down 10-15 points by gametime...Still, don't bet on this being a 25 point differential...Schillinger is 3-0 lifetime against JR, with the most recent matchup going Schill's way in the 2004 Championship Game
News and Notes, SKL
Got bad news from the Jets this week, and not because they had to drop their third QB; but rather that WR3 Laverneus Coles may be useless for the rest of the season if Brooks Bollinger and Vinny Testeverde are in charge...That could be a big disadvantage for this team, especially if Santana Moss doesn't work out...Is it worth watching LDT get minimal touches for two weeks before getting an explosion every third? Probably not, but it's debateable...Tom Brady back in the starting lineup after watching Li'l Eli Manning torch the Charger secondary for a while...Jeremy Shockey gets second straight start at TE despite being acquired as a backup; then again Brady was drafted as a backup too, and he's on his third start in four weeks...All eyes (well, just mine) will be on Domanick Davis, as he is off his bye and away from two hellaciously good defenses; will he be finally be the stud he was supposed to be?...WR1-2 punch is among the best in the league right now, pretty suprisingly...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, OCT
Best week so far is their only loss of the season...The good news is that they are very much on the up, bad news is that their hottest player has a bye this week...Like SKL will be watching Davis, OCT will be following Andre Johnson to see if he can finally live up to his preseason hype...Tiki Barber and Brian Westbrook are a phenomonal RB combo, but Kevan Barlow's stock is slipping and could cause problems at the RB3 spot...Trent Green- who really knows what's up with Trent Green right now? Is this his (and Tony Gonzalez's) breakout? Against the Eagles, it's not likely- though they may have to throw a lot in the second half...Chester Taylor is starting in the Flex spot, which could be a great move if Jamal Lewis keeps running like poop...KPOBW: Hines Ward, Antwaan Randle El, Jason Taylor (?)
Prediction: I don't want to make a prediction on my own games any more.
Game #3
Champeons (-5) vs. Cellar Dwellers
While Stem looks awfully comfortable in unfamilar territory, his fall from first could be swift, as a mere win by Champeons vaults him ahead of this years so-far-cinderella...This is really a magnificent #3 game this week, worthy of Game of the Week status most other times...Champ is 2-0 vs. Stem lifetime, winning 127.25-79.50 to close out last season
News and Notes, CHM
Riding Drew Bledsoe again this week, keeping with the reliance on Cowboys (QB, RB1, Flex) until it burns...Derrick Mason returns this week as his Ravens take on the Jets in what will be the absolute worst source of fantasy points all year long; that game might not see a completed pass...Travis Henry's suspension is good news for Chris Brown owner Whitlock, as his RB3 spot now has someone carrying the load for his team every game...I really like this WR corps, and think it's the deepest in the league with Randy Moss, Rod Smith, Mason, Keyshawn Johnson, Isaac Bruce and sleeper Mike Williams...Clinton Portis remains a mystery, not yet living up to his draft spot last year (#6 overall) but is still someone most owners would feel confident starting every week; you can't really ask for a better RB2 in this league right now...KPOBW: None
News and Notes, CD
Won the battle of undefeateds without their WR1 and RB2, impressive...it seems as if Stem has stalled all Matt Millen comparisons, but can they keep up this pace? Of course they won't go undefeated (no one will), but is a 9 win season (6 win turnaround) possible? It is, especially considering their point totals are rising, and LaMont Jordan is starting to justify his predraft hype...It's Jake Delhomme's turn in the starting lineup this week, which means Byron Leftwich will have a big game...Larry Fitz, Jerry Porter and Roy Williams is the best combination of youth and talent at WR in the league...Said earlier that a weak week from Shaun Alexander is crippling to this club, and that stands true this and all future weeks; team doesn't win with a meager 10 pointer from Alexander last week...has a slight edge in the TE battle, with Ernie Conwell; that says something about the TEs in this game...KPOBW: Randy McMichael
Prediction: Can't win em all, and though Stem is much improved and a playoff contender, Champ's team is lurking and capable of huge weeks. This looks like a game where the WR will make the difference, and Randy Moss will provide the winning margin for CHM.
Batting Cleanup
Father Abraham (-14) vs. Fred Lanes Wife
A crucial game for both clubs, as FLW needs a win to stay near the pack for a playoff spot, while FA can start to pull away from potential playoff teams by starting 3-1...Viano is 2-0 lifetime against Souzek
News and Notes, FA
Being carried by Donovan McNabb and Stephen Davis, oddly enough...It's getting old, but still very true; will need some noise from Jamal Lewis to make any sort of sustained run...WRs 1-3 have been as good as can be expected, despite just 2 total touchdowns between Joe Horn, Muhsin Muhammed and Anquan Boldin...Priest Holmes is not playing like the stud he once was, but is still a solid RB1, putting up double digits most weeks...Ashley Lelie and Charles Rogers are both hit-or-miss players in the lineup this week, and Lelie has the bigger upside...KPOBW: Muhsin Muhammed
News and Notes, FLW
It gets tiresome, writing about Peyton Manning ever week, so I won't; It doesn't take a genius to see that he's the reason that this team is under .500...Is there ever a week that Manning gets benched? With David Carr as the other option, no there never is- probably not even his bye week...Kevin Curtis found the end zone last week, but is far from a guarantee in the Rams offense; this is where the loss of Javon Walker really hurts...Tatum Bell is a good gamble in the RB3 spot this week, with byes depleting the RB corps...Corey Dillon and Deuce McAllister are both short on yardage, but fine on TDs, which makes it palatable...KPOBW: Ronnie Brown, Willie Parker
Prediction: Equipped with one of the only QBs that can match a monster week from Manning, FA rides a slightly stronger running game to victory in what I consider an upset, but technically isn't.
The 5 Hole
Big Fat Guys vs. Ken's Anal Adventure (-14)
An intriguing #5 game, thanks to the budding rivalry between the two expansion teams...No one would have ever predicted that Dave and Kenny would be 14 point favorites at any point this season, right?...This is the first meeting between the two teams
News and Notes, BFG
Gives Carson Palmer the starting nod this week, in an attempt to shut Dave up once and for all...and he plays the Texans...Starting WRs (who tallied 47 points in week 3) all have the potential for big games...RB corps is still weak, though Mike Anderson is worthy of a weekly start, just not as an RB1...Still waiting for Alex Smith to have another big week...KPOBW: Chris Chambers
News and Notes, KAA
Making up for benching both of their Minnesota WRs last week by starting them both this week...Has put together an awfully solid starting lineup by week 4, which is impressive...RB situation is stable, with a potential stud, a starter and a goal line back...WRs have loads of potential in real life, though fantasy expectations should be tempered...It's hard to guess what Michael Vick will do on a given week. The reason that QBs score so much in this league is the 5-6 points they get for completions. Vick doesn't usually get those, but can rack up rushing points that no other QB can...This is probably the week Brandon Stokley finds the end zone...KPOBW: Braylon Edwards, Lee Suggs
Prediction: Carson Palmer has a big day, and BFG's RBs score a few TDs in the upset of the week.
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