VUFSA: Week 15

Oh, it's not really week 15? Maybe it just feels like it because my season is over.

Turdy turd turd.

I'm changing the format this week. Because first, who am I to tell you what a good move or bad move is? Second, I want to spend less than three hours on my recaps.

On to the matchups:

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Big Fat Guys: 82.25 points
Who is Ron Mexico? 73.50

Game summary: In a matchup for the ages, these two titans clashed early Sunday afternoon, matching each other blow-for-blow. For about eight minutes. BFG took an early lead, and after three hours of battle, Who is Ron Mexico? had 4.50 points. However, late games brought them back and they seemed in position to thunder BFG on Monday night. With the world watching, WIRM climbed to within a half point during the evening and looked to storm ahead. Just about the time owner Dave Tomke was on the phone ordering a 44-foot bronze statue embossed with words "I FUCKING RULE" to be built in the center of VU's campus, Ahman Green went down with a knee injury. And Antonio Chatman went off, finding the end zone. Ballgame. Baron got his first VUFSA win and moved out of last place, ahead of reeling Who is Ron Mexico?

Big Fat Guys (1-3): Carson Palmer continued to play rock-solid at the quarterback position, putting up 17.25 points. Most importantly for Baron, the Lions did everything in their power to stop Cadillac Williams, and they did that -- but that allowed them to surrender roughly 742 yards to Joey Galloway, who had a gigantic week. BFG made a few moves this week, unclogging his quarterback situation and acquiring three running backs. The impact of those deals won't be known until the running back situations in Chicago, Cleveland and Carolina all shake out.

Who is Ron Mexico? (1-3): Add him to the list of owners who really, really hate Ahman Green. No true strong performances from his team, leading to this loss. Falcons Michael Vick (12.50 points) and T.J. Duckett (10.00 points) led the way this weekend. New addition Mike Anderson may ease the pain from Green's knee injury, but for an owner who wants to win now, this is a frustrating loss.

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Madd Skillz: 96.25
The Octagon: 93.25

Game summary: This was almost an extremely dramatic Monday night game. The Octagon initially opted to retain Jason Taylor and not start one of his defensive players. But once this matchup appeared close heading into Monday night, Taylor was dropped and Chris Gamble picked up. Skillz spent the entire night waiting for Steve Smith to break loose and score, but just one single point from the receiver kept this very, very close. Had Gamble intercepted a Brett Fave pass (and it nearly happened) and taken it to the house, JR would have pulled off the most dramatic and cunning fantasy win in several days. However, as it stands, he didn't. Ho hum, Ed wins again.

Madd Skillz(4-0): Not nearly as impressive a win as his previous efforts, but he just keeps rolling along. LDT with another huge week and new starting tight end Jeremy Shockey seems to enjoy a finally-good Eli Manning, putting up 10 points. This win is definitely a credit to the overall depth of the team, who still put up a decent total and won despite some of his bigger contributers (Chad Johnson, Smith, Fred Taylor) being held down significantly. Will face ChamPeons next week for a chance to move to 5-0.

The Octagon (2-2): He's just really pissed about his team. Lots of underachievers here as we saw from the Top Ten List, with several keepers not doing what they were expected to. Tony Gonzalez isn't producing and is unhappy with his role and Andre Johnson has been sucked into the Texans' black hole of an offense. On the plus side, Marvin Harrison and Tiki Barber did break out with big games, which bodes well for future weeks. Once Trent Green and Gonzalez get moving, and they will, better times will follow. Also, Kevan Barlow is really bad.

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Blaine Browns: 132.25
Sex Panther: 96.75

Game summary (18-6): The Blaine Browns made sure that there would be no "most points of any loser tag" this week, exploding for the second-highest total. Sex Panther took an early lead with plenty of early games, but the outcome was never really in doubt after mid-afternoon. Terrell Owens was huge yet again (20.00 points) and is on pace for an absolutely absurd 2,134 yards this season. As always, for Sex Panther, Daunte Culpepper made the team stay or go. They stayed this week.

Blaine Browns (1-3): With four 1-3 teams out there, there's some major catching up to do. BB got started on that this week. This team hasn't had a poor week yet, and is third in overall points despite being seventh in the standings. Impressively, the team has performed well despite Curtis Martin mostly disappearing for the entire season. With TO, Edgerrin James and a resurgent Drew Brees, this team still has a very good shot to sneak back into the playoff hunt -- especially with his next two games coming against expansion teams.

Sex Panther (1-3): Who gives a shit?

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Father Abraham: 122.25
Fred Lane's Wife: 119.00

Game summary: Another thunder matchup here, as another big performance from Stephen Davis (18.50 points) was enough to offset an inactive WR slot for Father Abraham. FLW had to be pleased with Peyton Manning's return from the grave, but it wasn't enough here, as Donovan McNabb was just as good (32.50 points), and FA got five other players in double figures. Had Horn played, this matchup likely wouldn't have even been close.

Father Abraham outlook (3-1): This team is good. Amidst all the hype over some other teams, Lincoln has very quietly put himself in great position this season. Now that the Ravens are using a fullback again (good idea, eh?), Jamal Lewis should start to produce some better numbers, as he did this week. McNabb has been the best QB in football thus far, and Priest Holmes may not be threatened by Larry Johnson as much as originally thought. Up and down, it's a very good roster and the team currently has a very real shot at landing one of the VUFSA's top two seeds. His game next week against undefeated Cellar Dwellers will be watched closely by many (meaning: 9-10 people).

Fred Lane's Wife (1-3): Everyone is surprised by this team's start. With the running back situation suddenly very thin, things suddenly don't look great for Andy Viano's club. The loss of Javon Walker has hurt, and Corey Dillon is scoring touchdowns, but not getting the yardage needed to boost his point totals to that of a No. 1 running back. However, the owner is shrewd and can't be expected to simply sit on his hands and wait this out. Don't be surprised to see some sort of shakeup in the next week or two from this team in an attempt to get things going again.

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Cellar Dwellers: 141.75
ChamPeons: 66.25

Game summary: Guh. Who's afraid of big, bad Andrew Stem? I am. The story of the week is CD's move to 4-0 with a dominating effort over ChamPeons. Plaxico Burress also loves Eli Manning, pouring on 27 points during an embarassment of Saint Louis. And 19 points from a kicker? Yikes. ChamPeons didn't have a chance this week, and poor performances from just about everyone on his roster made this a blowout.

Cellar Dwellers (4-0: All right, all right, we get it. You aren't Matt Millen. What's so intriguing about this outburst is that he did it while getting .50 point from his tight end spot and 3.50 points from two receiving spots. LaMont Jordan and Shaun Alexander are probably the best 1-2 running back punch in the league, and the team also has a nice QB platoon system to work in based on matchups. The roster may not look quite as flashy, but so far, Cellar Dwellers has been every bit as impressive as the other 4-0 team in the VUFSA.

ChamPeons (2-2): A bad week for Champ here, as none of the his go-to guys got going to put up significant numerbs. Though it doesn't appear as if it would have mattered this week. But he still sits at 2-2, ahead of the wild pack of 1-3 clubs. There are some QB and depth issues, but the team still has Randy Moss and one of the best young backs in the league, John Clayton favorite Julius Jones. With the owner's penchant for making moves, the squad is still very much in the playoff hunt. We'll go ahead and give this one the "Tough luck, move on" performance of the week.