This week's open thread is brought to you by the device that has been helping Mark Prior fool people for years.
Be appropriately horrified, and talk amongst yourselves.
53 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I've already been up for an hour and a half, drinking Mountain Dew Code Red and getting ready for today's matchup with Tomke. Still five hours until game time. My hands are shaking.
Wait, does Ed work at Walgreens now too? I am so out of the loop, I need Us Magazine: VUFSA edition. I still don't know what that Manhattanville talk was about.
Ed Schillinger is a retail manager at Walgreens in the Indianapolis area. He lives with his fiancee, Jamie, with a November '07 wedding date.
Drew Wolf is an executive assistant at Walgreens just outside of Minneapolis, where he lives with his wife Becky (Bird '04), who is currently serving the role of sugar mama.
JR Radcliffe is a high school sports writer in Milwaukee, occasionally freelancing elsewhere. He is celebrating the end of the high school football season.
Class of 2005: Andy Viano recently left a position with Valparaiso University's Sports Information department to take an on-air/SID position in Manhattanville, NY. He has a dog, Lee ('04) and will be married sometime soon.
Eli Gieryna is an admissions counseler for Knox College near his hometown of Galesburg, Ill., after recently leaving a position on the sports desk at the Elkhart Truth in Elkhart, Ind. He goes on long trips.
Andrew Stem works somewhere in Michigan.
Baron Brendel is just a fat guy.
Class of 2006: Dave Tomke lives with his parents, but still makes a living in the SID department of some local university whose name I can't recall. He is still a bitch.
Brent Whitlock recently moved from Valparaiso and took a position with a radio station, where I think he is assistant sports director but I don't know because I deleted the email and am an asshole. It is south of Indianapolis.
I just woke up from my nap and found that (thank God) Leftwich is in fact starting and that (thank God) I am in fact winning by 3 points. I think we should just call it a day.
"Lincoln R. Souzek - Programmer - B.S. C.S. - Valparaiso University lsouzek@golden-tech.com
Lincoln Souzek graduated from Valparaiso University in 2002 with a degree in Computer Science, which provided a solid foundation in programming theory and languages. He joined Golden Technologies later that year (2002) in October. Lincoln is Golden's resident Debian fanatic and a general advocate of all things Linux. He laughs at hopelessly geeky programming jokes that would oust him from most social circles if ever retold. He has a debilitating fear of Microsoft products and is currently seeking help for this. "
Ed's goddamn embarrassment of a joke of a terrible fantasy football team that totally sucks and he hates them has now taken the lead and won't be looking back.
I'd love to tell you that I'm happy Ben Roethlisberger was carted off the field, but that shit sucks no matter when it happens or who you're playing in fantasy sports.
It is usually preferable, however, for me to mourn the opposing quarterback's near death prior to his three touchdowns.
First of all, it wasn't a reverse jinx. For you to say your team is an embarrassment is the silliest thing I've ever heard. Second, you have three guys going against Dominic Rhodes this afternoon. I think you'll be fine.
Reverse jinxing is talking about Drew getting false hope when he has a 50-point lead.
Silly Ed, trying to drum up sentiments of worry. Oh my, I don't have five keepers! I don't have players that will be back next year! I should trade Tiki Barber while I can, to Ed, for someone like Chester Taylor.
Ed. You are not going to get Tiki Barber. He will retire having never played for Madd Skillz.
53 comments:
I've already been up for an hour and a half, drinking Mountain Dew Code Red and getting ready for today's matchup with Tomke. Still five hours until game time. My hands are shaking.
They still make Code Red?
I loved that stuff in college.
Code Red is the official drink of Walgreens Overnight Managers.
Wait, does Ed work at Walgreens now too? I am so out of the loop, I need Us Magazine: VUFSA edition. I still don't know what that Manhattanville talk was about.
That might be your overnight drink of choice, Ed. But we all know Drew fills an empty Aquafina bottle with gin and gets through the night that way.
Class of 2004:
Ed Schillinger is a retail manager at Walgreens in the Indianapolis area. He lives with his fiancee, Jamie, with a November '07 wedding date.
Drew Wolf is an executive assistant at Walgreens just outside of Minneapolis, where he lives with his wife Becky (Bird '04), who is currently serving the role of sugar mama.
JR Radcliffe is a high school sports writer in Milwaukee, occasionally freelancing elsewhere. He is celebrating the end of the high school football season.
Class of 2005:
Andy Viano recently left a position with Valparaiso University's Sports Information department to take an on-air/SID position in Manhattanville, NY. He has a dog, Lee ('04) and will be married sometime soon.
Eli Gieryna is an admissions counseler for Knox College near his hometown of Galesburg, Ill., after recently leaving a position on the sports desk at the Elkhart Truth in Elkhart, Ind. He goes on long trips.
Andrew Stem works somewhere in Michigan.
Baron Brendel is just a fat guy.
Class of 2006:
Dave Tomke lives with his parents, but still makes a living in the SID department of some local university whose name I can't recall. He is still a bitch.
Brent Whitlock recently moved from Valparaiso and took a position with a radio station, where I think he is assistant sports director but I don't know because I deleted the email and am an asshole. It is south of Indianapolis.
Dammit. I can't remember things.
October, asshole
That's the most serious thing I've seen JR write in months.
Except for this:
Vaitrucci: Well, that's pretty gay
BrewFan101: Not as gay as the sex I had with the other groomsmen in the back of the limo.
First touchdown to Alge! Dreamboat 1, Dreamboat 0.
Why does FOX think anyone still cares about Brett Favre?
I'm getting the KC-SD game.
The Chiefs offensive line is horrible. Like, Arizona Cardinals bad.
I just learned more about you guys in five minutes than I did in the last five years. Thank you for that, JR.
Also: Leon Washington!
As long as we're doing quasi-introductions, what does Lincoln do again?
this team is a goddamn embarrassment
Thanks Baron...as you can tell, I wasn't sure what you did. I hope you didn't think I was implying you were unemployed.
What the fuck is wrong with the Johnsons anyway? This has not been a year for Johnson. Unless you're Tomke...then, every DAY is a day for Johnson.
I just woke up from my nap and found that (thank God) Leftwich is in fact starting and that (thank God) I am in fact winning by 3 points. I think we should just call it a day.
Ed's humiliatingly embarrassing running back just plowed over three guys for a TD.
Screw running lanes, Larry Johnson will score without blocking.
vaitrucci: Hawt.
BrewFan101: haha, is that like the fifth captain planet kid?
BrewFan101: "hawt!"
Eli, I will post my bio and headshot by COB if no one else does, I'm just curious to see if anyone will take a stab at it.
Is any getting the Philadelphia game that could tell me what exactly my golden boy is up to?
The golden boy looks very confused today. Ronde Barber has a lot to do with that.
The good news is that you're still winning, despite his performance.
Did I get it?
"Lincoln R. Souzek - Programmer - B.S. C.S. - Valparaiso University
lsouzek@golden-tech.com
Lincoln Souzek graduated from Valparaiso University in 2002 with a degree in Computer Science, which provided a solid foundation in programming theory and languages. He joined Golden Technologies later that year (2002) in October. Lincoln is Golden's resident Debian fanatic and a general advocate of all things Linux. He laughs at hopelessly geeky programming jokes that would oust him from most social circles if ever retold. He has a debilitating fear of Microsoft products and is currently seeking help for this. "
Oh God.
I'm so scared that I designed this blog now. We need to get Lincoln to do it.
Interested?
Ed's goddamn embarrassment of a joke of a terrible fantasy football team that totally sucks and he hates them has now taken the lead and won't be looking back.
Ronde Barber? Seriously?
I just had him on my team to encourage his brother. But this shit I like.
I'd love to tell you that I'm happy Ben Roethlisberger was carted off the field, but that shit sucks no matter when it happens or who you're playing in fantasy sports.
It is usually preferable, however, for me to mourn the opposing quarterback's near death prior to his three touchdowns.
Alge Crumpler is kind of an ass for giving Drew as much false hope as he is.
I was just kidding before, when I said I was sad about Big Ben.
In case you didn't hear- it's a new rule that when you play me, everyone on your team has to go off. how else would ahman green score a 70 yard TD?
Even an average day from Leftwich and I make it interesting.
"Ladanian Tomlinson to throw the football"
Merry Christmas in October
Also, thanks to mega-TDs from Ahman Green and Brian Westbrook, Eli's reverse jinx of me not looking back has failed. So, there is that.
First of all, it wasn't a reverse jinx. For you to say your team is an embarrassment is the silliest thing I've ever heard. Second, you have three guys going against Dominic Rhodes this afternoon. I think you'll be fine.
Reverse jinxing is talking about Drew getting false hope when he has a 50-point lead.
In fairness, mine was retaliatory. And there are still 3 RBs and a stud WR and a QB left in your game. a 50 point makeup is not daunting yet.
I'm really proud of my bench play today.
WALI!
Wali Lundy is the next Frank Gore.
from Yahoo!
"Last play: E. James rushed up the middle for no gain."
I've seen that a time or two before.
Edgerrin James is the next Edgar Bennett (the Bear version)
Neil Rackers loves missing field goals.
How about JR Radcliffe nailing Lee's birth year but blowing Ed's wedding date?
Hines Ward!
where the fuck is LaMont Jordan?
For another league, this matters a great deal to me.
The Cardinals have already given up two more offensive TDs to the Raiders than they did to the Bears. 11 minutes into the game.
Wait, Tony Gonzalez had 138 yards? Keepage for sure now.
Silly Ed, trying to drum up sentiments of worry. Oh my, I don't have five keepers! I don't have players that will be back next year! I should trade Tiki Barber while I can, to Ed, for someone like Chester Taylor.
Ed. You are not going to get Tiki Barber. He will retire having never played for Madd Skillz.
I agree you shouldn't worry. You haven't have 5 full keepers the last 2 seasons either.
Honestly, can anyone tell me how the Dolphins are this bad?
Everyone's gone, aren't they. I'll stop now. Don't forget about the basketball draft.
I swear if you two don't lay off killing Edgerrin James' trade value, I'll write a nasty post about how you both have crushes on JR.
Sorry, Ed. I decided my day would be more pleasant if I stopped watching myself not catch up on Stat Tracker.
So I went to play video games, the only realm in which the Cubs are good. They're 74-49 to this date, and Mark Prior has 14 wins and a 1.89 ERA.
No word on if he uses the magic cone.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Ed, and Ed alone, made me a 25 point favorite today.
While I was missing my QB, my RB2 and my best WR.
I hope you accidentally draft Stromile Swift tonight.
Does Swift have two healthy feet? That's kinda my criteria heading into the draft.
I misoverestimated your replacements. I am a jackass, all the way around.
Do you think the Raiders are exactly what Denny Green thought they were?
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