Power Recap- 10/18

I have a new boss who's #1 talent is minimizing his assistant's time off. I don't even have time to be writing this, but I'll try. I don't even have time to update the goddam spreadsheet, and you assholes know I live for that shit. I probably won't have the preview up until Saturday morning, either.

1. The Slumpbusters (4-2) Last Week: 3rd (+2)

-A Sunday Conversation, approx 9:30 et:

Jamie: Hello?
Ed: Hey, what's going on?
Jamie: Um, what's the league record for points in a game?
Ed: (hangs up)

All-Time league high set thanks in part to 3 double touchdowns by Bulger to Holt and 7 players who scored no less than 16 points. There's really nothing else to say, except that outside of maybe Holt- no one on the team did anything this week they couldn't do every week. Scary.

Next Week: Misses the Rams vs. TPB. It won't matter.

2. Madd Skillz (5-1) Last Week: 1st (-1)

-Helped set the other two records in this weekend's epic battle- most points in a loss and most total points between two teams in one game. Wasted a tremendous day from LaDanian Tomlinson, and great days from Steve Smith and Joe Horn- each of whom outscored Larry Johnson and Rudi Johnson combined. It's hard to feel anything but numb about the point total, but let's see you assholes get 15 points from those two and put up 160.

Also, to anyone who bothers to comment "ED! what are you doing! It's only one loss, why are you dropping yourself?" can bite me. I write three regular columns for the blog, which is three more than anyone else. If you can do it better, be my guest.

Next Week: Finally off on a Sunday- but why the hell isn't there a Sunday Night Game? I can't get an answer to this.

3. Naj Davenport's Poop (4-2) Last Week: 2nd (-1)

-Viano got a tremendous effort from his non-Peyton Manning players, with Willie Parker and Ronnie Brown combining for 37.50 and Hines Ward and Marion Barber each getting into double digits. Philip Rivers did his best Peyton Manning impression, scoring 25.25 points in a week where his team had 4 rushing TDs. I look forward to the Bears-Chargers Super Bowl.

Next Week: Takes on Cellar Dwellers, who are still shorthanded. Needs to pad the early season win total, and is on pace to clinch an early playoff spot.

4. The Nihilist Marmot (3-3) Last Week: 4th (-)

-Tiki Barber has his best game of the season, but is still looking to find the end zone. Hard to argue with 22 points regardless though. Missing the Colts hurt, as Isaac Bruce and Antonio Bryant did little to ease their bye week pains. That's what Bruce gets for being a Ram not on Eli's team. Travis Henry is the odds-on favorite for the "Willie Parker Memorial Waiver Pickup of the Year" after a 24 point outburst against the Redskins.

Next Week: Takes on ChamPeons with the opportunity to pass him in the standings and move into playoff position.

5. ChamPeons (4-2) Last Week: 6th (+1)

-Nothingness from David Carr was overcome when Terrell Owens scored 3 Touchdowns so the Cowboys wouldn't have to listen to him pout anymore. On the bright side, got double digits from his kicker and a defender. Julius Jones had a nice day, but his value is way down from where it should be since it's ever more clear that he won't get goal line touches. Both Andre Johnson and Lee Evans had nice days to go along with Owens, and Frank Gore did what he could in a blowout vs. San Diego.

Next Week: Takes on TNM with the opportunity to gather a 2 game cushion in the playoff race.

6. Fresh Legs (3-3) Last Week: 7th (+1)

-Baron has had a strong group of RBs all year, but this week all three of them were outscored by his starting WRs, led by Reggie Brown's 22 points. Laverneus Coles continues to stun, throwing up 19.50 and Chris Chambers overcame Joey Harrington and scored 12. Carson Palmer was decent despite his team scoring just 14 points- though he's been an average QB all season so far.

Next Week: Misses four of his freshest legs, those of Thomas Jones and Deuce McAllister against SKL.

7. Cellar Dwellers (3-3) Last Week: 5th (-2)

-All things considered, had a decent point output, even if it was the 8th highest in the league this week. The Lion offense was kind to Stem, as Kevin Jones had a great day, while Jon Kitna did his job as a replacement QB. LJ Smith had 10 points, but that was really it. Derrick Mason scored zero and Plaxico Burress had 4.50. Julius Peppers continues to be Stem's most consistent player, putting up 13 more points this week.

Next Week: Has a long conversation with Jim Hendry about how to not make a trade once your best player gets hurt, except until after it doesn't matter anymore. Also plays NDP.

8. Who is Ron Mexico? (0-6) Last Week: 10th (+2)

-The one game Dave truly wanted to win all year wasted his all-time franchise-high output of 108.25. Warrick Dunn put up 20 points, while Deion Branch was damn close. TJ Houshmandzadeh was the best Bengal on the field, and Marques Colston scored again. Li'l Eli Manning could have done more than 13.25, but his insistence on throwing 2 interceptions a game knocks him down. Still, outside of a Week 6 hiccup Dave has played very well recently, and will get a win soon.

Next Week: Takes on FA to determine once and for all who's #8 in the power rankings.

9. Father Abraham (2-4) Last Week: 9th (-)

-Has more overall points than Dave, but I can't raise a team with a pregame inactive clogging up a RB spot. This week looks like the point totals we all expected, pre-season. Donovan McNabb and Anquan Boldin have big games, while outside of that only a kicker crosses 7 points. Leon Washington took his breakout game and parlayed that into fewer carries than Kevan Barlow. Jamal Lewis' corpse is really starting to smell, can someone please move it out of here?

Next Week: Looks to prolong the possibility of history in the making, trying to keep WIRM winless to see if it lasts 14 weeks.

10. Tice's Partyboat (2-4) Last Week: 8th (-2)

-Low score for the week vaults Wolfman to the bottom of overall points as well this season. DeAngelo Williams is out for a month now, just to get all the bad news out of the way early. Onto the good news: Drew Brees is playing exceptionally well and his keepage is justified. It's all crap from there on out. The big byes are done, however.

Next Week: Takes on SLM while they have three key players on a bye. Should only be a 15 point underdog in the game.