Eli's voodoo dolls

A quick sidenote on the recent influx of implications that I have voodoo dolls. For the record, I have no current voodoo dolls. However ...

Back in high school, my school (Galesburg High) was known for its outstanding girls basketball program. As it currently stands, they've won 20 straight regional titles and have been to the Elite Eight of the state tournament 10 of the last 12 years. I was enrolled there right in the middle of this run, so it was a good time.

My freshman year, the team met up with Loyola Academy, a rich and smarmy private school from the Chicago suburbs that recruited its players. Bitches. The best of the recruited players was a big, huge, large, gigantic Russian girl named Olga Gvozdenovic. She was impossible to stop, we lost, everyone was pissed and Loyola eventually went on to win the state title.

My sophomore year, GHS tore through the regular season and the postseason with a 33-3 record to reach the Elite Eight again. The opponent? Olga and Loyola Academy: The Rematch. They had only lost one starter from their state championship team and were ranked No. 2 in the nation coming into the game.

There was a big preview of the state tournament in the Chicago Tribune prep section, anchored by a four column vertical photo of Olga. Naturally, I cut out the photo of her and created a "voodoo doll" of sorts.

What exactly did I do? Well, I stuck pins in her knee and drew all over her face (probably a mustache) like any normal 16-year-old male would do. I gave it to one of my friends on the basketball team, and she put it in her gym bag.

As for the game, Olga got into early foul trouble and was never a factor. GHS ended up knocking Loyola off on a last-second jumper for the massive upset.

Olga then headed off to Duke on a full-ride scholarship. Her first game of freshman year? She blew out her knee, tearing three ligaments in a nasty collision. The very knee that I had stuck pins into on my voodoo doll.

So I'm not saying ... I'm just saying. Be wary if I ever do create voodoo dolls. Especially if I draw facial hair on women.